Unhealing wounds part 2 Shattered memories
After getting some advice from jevin I wanted to take a bit longer on this one, please enjoy chapter 2 of the series I also am introducing jevin as a character soon I hope he doesn't mind how I portray his character:). Warning this dose get a bit dark you have been warned. I wanted to expand on dans character and show a different side to him a less gentle side. I took a gamble on this one hopefully it pays off.
I yawn and stretch as I wake from a unblotherd slumber, finaly a descent nights sleep. I stretch again but stop as my foot hits something hard and furry.
"Oww watch it dan, that hurt" I look down to see that something was shoul's face.
"Sorry" I say with a small grin they sprawl my toes hearing them crack. I'm a bit conscious that my feet stink as I haven't washed in a while, but he says nothing so I assume there not to unbarible.
The morning breeze blows in through an open window, I seek Rons paw for warmth but realise he's not there. I stand there shivering from the cold, I look to shoul with big soulful eyes he only sighs and nods with a gentle smile, I run to him and cuddle into his body as I always do when I'm cold. I developed that habit pretty early on after meeting shoul, not simply just because his fur was snug and warm but I always felt safe when I was with shoul. Even though I don't say it I would have given up along time ago if not for him. In the earlier years of us living here i did something that scares me even to this day. I think to myself "it wasn't you that night" but I knew all to well it was me and without shoul I'd be dead. Only after probably the darkest moment of my life did i become stronger , did I prove to myself that I'm not helpless, that was when I finally took a stand and said no to my suicidal thoughts. I slowly started to realise only after my will totally crumbled did it strengthen.
3 years ago
_"_I carn't do this anymore" I whimper to myself, my brain is rattling inside my skull making my head feel like its going to split in two, my eyes are drowning in my own self pity. I hear the screams and voices of my dead parents over and over again telling me I'v failed how I should have saved them.
"STOP IT!!!" I scream at the voices cradling my head between my hands. "Please stop it, it hurts so much" my whole body is spasming in the madness. A new voice makes it self apparent in my head. It's shoul
"I'v always hated you dan, you've made my life a misery, it was you that deserved to die that night" my stomach turns inside out. My body fills with rage, despair and hate
"Fuck you, you want me to die fine" I shout lost in the darkness of my mind completely succumb to madness, I no longer feel in control off my own body like I'v become a totally different person. I walk to the bed leg and climb down to the floor, I stand in a spot I knew Ron would not see me until it was to late.
Ron wakes up and hangs his paws over the Side of the bed I close my eyes and listen to the voices in my head screaming at me telling me I'm worthless, Rons paw slowly starts to descend I mutter under my breath "mom, dad I'm sorry" the paw touches my ears and I tense my whole body. Then something grabs my waist and I'm yanked to the side clear of Rons foot.
"What the hell are you thinking!!!" I hear someone scream at defining frequency, " do you think your parents gave there lifes just for you kill yourself". My eyes fail me in identifying the figure but the voice is definitely shoul
"why don't you just let me die, you hate me" I wail squirming in his grasp, he pins me to the floor and lies on top of me with all his weight ending my attempts at getting free.
He grabs my head with his his hands covering both sides of my face in his soft fur.
"Dan this isn't you, your not this weak, your stronger than this". I blankly stare the ceiling not paying attention to anything he says. The voices still relentlessly tearing into me.
But then shoul the real shoul says something that makes me stare at him in bewilderment, "You know what dan your correct I do hate you, I hate everything about you. Your a worthless good for nothing". I scense a sadness to his voice.
A fire builds in my belly, it takes all my strength but I somehow managed to shove shoul off, I stand. I feel my fists clench and my throat muscles constrict as I scream at him "Your wrong, I'm not weak or a worthless good for nothing, and do you know what I'm not gonna kill myself just because some stupid fucking!!! Voices in my head tell me to, this is my life I'm in control of who I am and what i do not you or the ghosts of my pasts". I feel dizzy and gasp for breath, i fall over banging my head on the floor.
My vision clears, my body eases and the voices in my head die away I become my self again. My sight settles on a startled shoul "Shoul what just happened to me?".
He says nothing and stands up and walks over to me. He scoops me into his arms and hugs me so tight it forces the air from lungs " don't ever do that again" he sobs, I hug back into him.
" Why did you call me worthless"I cry shedding tears in sinc with him.
"It was the only way to get through to you, every word felt like knife to the heart. I'm so sorry".
We both sat there just hugging, we didn't even notice Ron had been observing us for the past 10 minutes
"What the hell did I just watch, you know what I don't even wanna know" he turns and leaves the room.
Me and shoul stare at each other and smile. " I guess it's true what they say"I squeak
"What" he says with confused look.
"What dose'nt kill you makes you stronger".