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18

Kyle shook his head with a sigh. I knew immediately he was concerned about how his actions would be perceived by myself, the guys and Gran. Aedan could see the tension in his face. "First Alpha," Aedan spoke up grabbing Kyle's attention.

"Don't!" Kyle said forcefully.

Aedan studied Kyle's face and demeanor before responding. "Kyle," as he adjusted his words understanding my mate's aversion to titles, "Whether or not you like the term, you're going to have to get used to the fact that's what you are to the lycan, and for that matter the entire supernatural, world. You are going to be addressed, if the council comes to terms with it, as such."

Kyle dropped back on the couch with a scowl covering his face, "But I didn't ask for this... being a lycan, an Alpha... this whole First Order thing," stopping in his thoughts to place his head in his hands.

"Sometimes there are things that occur that cause our lives to change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It's the measure of a man to work within those parameters to meet those challenges. Great or small, whether we like the situation or not, as Donne said so eloquently," meeting the eyes of we four.

"No man is an island, Entire of itself. Every man is a piece of the continent, A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were. As well as if a manor of thy friends, Or of thine own were: Any man's death diminishes me, Because I am involved in mankind, And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee," as he finished he recitation he sat back down to stare as his own hands.

I sat there thinking of what Aedan has said to Kyle. As for my mate, he was silent. It was eerie considering how much I knew that it wasn't like him to be this way. More so, I thought of what he had said about not wanting to be what he was and what those consequences would have been for me had he not been turned. I would look fairly the same for a long time, slowly aging as our kind did. He would have remained mortal and would grow old and die. The love that I had for him. Would I have even spoken about it? Would I have told him?

Kyle suddenly got up and stormed out the French doors leading out to Aedan's garden. I started to follow, but Blake's hand on my shoulder stopped me. "Give him a few minutes," he said.

Gran excused herself to the kitchen to make some tea with Aedan retiring to his bedroom to get some clothes.

I could only sit and stare out the doors at Kyle. I could see him flexing his fingers into fists and the strain washing over his shoulders. My thoughts of my own selfishness shaming me as well.

Suddenly Blake pulled me up into his lap and drew my head to his shoulder as Gordon scooted closer. I began to shake and whimper at the thoughts of never having Kyle as my mate, my lover, my partner and more.

"Shhhhhh," Blake spoke softly, "It's ok. I know what you are thinking."

I pulled back and looked at him with tears in my eyes, "Do you really think he regrets it all? Regrets what happened even after our..." I couldn't finish.

"No," Blake said, stroking my hair. "No Jesse, he doesn't. He has just been served a level of stress that few men his age would face. If this were two to four hundred years ago, then it would have been different. He would have been prepared for this type of thing. We live in a modern time where we are taught that our lives revolve around no one but ourselves."

He looked over at Gordon with a soft smile and then return the same to me, "That is until we find out that there is more to life than selfish desires and wants. It's about what we do with our lives and that we live them not for ourselves, but that we strive to make even a single difference in the lives of others. Humans and supernaturals are not meant to go through life alone. Each has to have someone that is important to them to keep their existence meaningful in the cosmos."

"He loves you Jesse," Gordon said taking my hand, "I know that for a fact and he knows that without being attacked and becoming a lycan that he would not have the future he wants with you." He shifted his eyes up to Blake, "What I want with you."

Blake's eyes rose in surprise, "Are you sure? I mean we talked about his before but you never could come to a decision."

"I'm sure," Gordon said, "I couldn't see my life without you and the guys in it. Besides," he said with a chuckle, "someone has to keep pants on you.

I couldn't help but laugh at that moment. I knew that Kyle would be alright, but it didn't make it easier to watch him outside coming to terms with it all.

***KYLE***

I stared out into the garden that surrounded Aedan's place. It was beautiful and peaceful, but given what had just happened and what I was thinking, I couldn't enjoy it. Had I acted immaturely with regards to Aedan's shift?

I shook my head, thinking back and came to the conclusion I hadn't. He had attacked, albeit without malice, and with an alternative motive, my mate. I would die to protect Jesse. He was my everything; my world, and my love. I could not live without him. What had happened to both of us was beyond the scope of what we ever dreamed about our lives to come, but it had happened and we have to deal with it.

I was going to face more challenges, not just from this feral problem and whatever or whoever was creating them. I was going to face challenges from within the lycan community and the Council; that was inevitable.

Words suddenly flew into my mind... "The measure of a man is not what he has, it is not the clothes he wears, nor is it the station he holds in life. It is not even his procreation. It is not his religious beliefs. The measure of a man is how deeply he loves... and how deeply others love Him."

The tears began to well in my eyes. I couldn't help it. My Dad had spoken those words to me only a few days before he and Mom were killed in the plane crash. At the time I didn't think much of it, and honestly hadn't thought about what he said until just now.

I heard the door behind me open and turned to see who it was, thinking it might be Aedan or Blake. It was Jesse. He said, "Hey," then noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks. I could see the look on his face as he suddenly broke into a run and jumping towards my body and into my arms. He wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck. His voice was soft but strong. "I love you..."

That is what my Dad meant I thought as I held my love, my mate and my all in my arms. No one would ever harm him.

******

I stood and watched Kyle from the French doors leading to the garden. He was deep in thought and I could see his shoulders tense then release. They looked like they were quivering.

A few minutes earlier I had extricated myself from Blake's lap to give him time to talk with Gordon over the decision that Gordon had made. I could understand their need for some privacy. What was being chosen by Gordon was much different from what Kyle had endured or how I had acquired my lycan blood. Blake was born as a lycan. Gordon's choice would be difficult although not as painful as Kyle's change.

I slipped out the doors and into the garden. The chill in the air made me wish I had a coat. I might have the blood of a lycan but I sure as hell didn't have the body temp. Kyle turned and saw me. The look of slight surprise on his face told me he was expecting someone else, most likely Aedan or Blake. I saw the tears slide down his face and my heart grabbed in my chest. I don't know what came over me but I suddenly found myself running and flinging myself into his body.

Kyle's arms raised instinctively and held me close as I wrapped myself around his body trying to pull all the pain out of him into my own. I could only think to say, "I love you."

Kyle held me tight with his left hand under my butt while his right hand caressed my back. I felt that hand on my back slide upwards, stroke my neck and then slightly tug my hair to pull my eyes to his. "Mine," he softly growled. The subtle rumble in his chest rolled through my own body. I nodded as he pulled my face to his and took my mouth hungrily. It seemed like hours but only a few minutes passed when we broke our kiss and that was because we both had to breathe.

"Are you ok?" I asked nuzzling his neck.

"Yeah," he said firmly while holding me tight. "I had to think about some things. It's been difficult baby. All this stuff thrown in front of me. All my life, I wanted nothing but you. Then being changed, wondering for a while until I figured out you and Gran. It didn't make it easier because I didn't know how either of you, well, especially you would respond."

"I thought it would be simple once we figured out a way to take care of this rouge, but even that affected me more than I realized. Now, well, the loss of your Uncle and what he did..."Kyle paused, "I know that he had no idea that what he was doing would affect me. He," as Kyle took a deep breath, "Hell, we had no idea that this would happen or that I held the ability to be this 'super-alpha'."

"What about what you said in the house? You know, about asking for everything?" I asked him while making circles with my right finger on his shoulder.

He lifted my chin to look at him in the eyes again, "Baby, I would not change anything now. I would never been able to be with you otherwise. I love you more than life itself. I love Blake and Gordon, they have a part in our relationship, but you and I will always come first."

I buried my face in his chest and breathed his scent in deep. I just wanted to stay that way forever.

Kyle broke my thoughts asking, "What are those two so animated about in there?"

I turned and looked at Blake and Gordon through the doors. Blake was walking around and looking concerned. Gordon sat on the couch with a smirk on his face. His left leg crossed over his right and hands on his left knee.

I chuckled, "It seems Gordon's made his decision about Blake changing him."

Kyle's eyebrows shot up, "Really?" I nodded.

The quiet of the garden was suddenly broken by this loud, but growly/grumpy female voice, "OYE! Where's Aedan? I heard someone here knicked my dressing gown!"

The woman was HUGE! I'm not talking about just big, as in fat. I mean she was huge as in almost as tall as Kyle, like a power wrestler or something. She was wearing a blue housecoat that was obviously a couple sizes too small. Her chest moved and her body shook with movement. Her breasts were gigantic, and she had to be using a bra held together with bungee cords the way the swung in the housecoat. The damn thing had to be a cup size of at least a large coffee can. It barely kept her attributes in place. She had auburn hair that was all messy and had curlers hanging out of parts of it. A lit cigarette, cherry red at the end and drifting smoke from the end was held tight in her pursed lips.

Kyle's hands slacked around me and I slid down to put my feet on the ground. I stared at her as she stomped her way up to the two of us. Her eyes were piercing green. She looked down at me and snorted, allowing the accumulated ash from her cigarette to flutter to the ground. Turning she stared, almost even to Kyle's eye but about six inches below his height. I could feel myself trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Can I help you?" Kyle asked politely.

I heard the French doors open and turned to find both Gordon and Blake walking towards us.

"Is there something we can help you with?" Blake asked as he and Gordon both flanked Kyle and me.

"Aye shrimp," she said taking in Blake without much cause for concern, "I went for me clothes on the line and found my dressing gown and hat missing. 'Nap' next door told me he saw a lot with Aedan take it down and run off it. Are you the ones?"

Blake smirked and Gordon coughed into his hand. "Well," Blake paused, "It actually was Kyle here that was using them."

Kyle whipped his head around towards Blake, "Now just a damn min..." He didn't get to finish before the woman poked on ham-handed finger into his chest and knocking him back a little.

"Where's me stuff?" she said loudly making her point by pressing her finger again into Kyle's chest.

Kyle stared at her trying to keep his temper under control. At the moment though, I could see that he wanted to do a shove back but he was debating because this was a woman. "Well, I'm sorry, but unfortunately it got damaged but we will be more than happy..."

"I'll teach you about knicking stuff, you little whelp!" she roared while rolling up the sleeves on the blue garment she wore.

"Now hold on just a moment," Kyle spoke just before her fist made direct contact with his nose. I stood there mouth open. Blake and Gordon were ready to jump in before Kyle raised his hand to them both. They grabbed my arms and pulled me back.

"Now listen lady," Kyle began again but I could see the small bits of fur start to sprout over his arms, "I'm sorry that we damaged your property. It wasn't done intentionally or with malice but I am more than willing to reimburse you the cost or replace the item."

She stared at him, blinked and then lashed out fast sending a swinging uppercut to his jaw. Kyle swerved back a bit from the blow. I could see the colour in his eyes change. He was having a hard time keeping his cool.

"Now look," he began again before another blow hit his nose. This time a small amount of blood trickled down to his lip from his nose. This woman had some strength behind her. I heard Kyle's low growl.

I looked up to Blake, "Aren't you going to do something?" He shook his head with a grin, "Nope."

I started forward raising my hand and opening my mouth to cast a spell when both he and Gordon pulled me back. Gordon grabbed my arms and Blake clamped his hand over my mouth. I glared at him and stomped down hard on his foot. "OW! Goddammit Jes!" he grumped and growled then grabbed my arms along with Gordon.

I twisted around in their arms as Blake's hand dropped from my mouth, "Let me go, I've got to diffuse this situation. That woman..." Blake broke in, "HA! Woman! She's a lycan. Take a deep inhale."

I stared at Blake registering what he said. I faced her and Kyle and breathed deep. I could smell Kyle, and then... "Well I'll be damned!" I thought. He was right. She was a lycan. Jesus Christ! What the hell would she look like if she shifted?

"What about Kyle?" I whispered up to Blake. He smirked, "He already knows. He's trying to keep his power in check. She either has no clue that he's an Alpha to wound up to care. Hell," he chuckled, "Even I can barely smell the power he holds. He's doing a good job of keeping it in check to keep people from knowing who and what he really is."

My eyes opened wide. I was shocked. In this short time, he'd been able to mask his identity. He was hiding the fact that he was a, or rather, 'the' First Alpha.

"Does she know he's a lycan?" I asked.

"Ah-yep," Blake giggled.

"What does he smell like?" Gordon asked.

I smiled, "Earth, leather, a crisp fall day mixed with walking sex."

"Oh damn!" Gordon said with a shudder. Blake laughed, "Stop getting hard."

I turned to look as she swung and hit Kyle again. His head swiveled to the left. He spit on the ground but stood there looking at her.

"Ye aren't going to stand up for yourself?" she asked. "Bloody pansy are ya?"

Kyle raised an eyebrow, "Gay? Yes. Pansy? Most decidedly not. I just don't go around hitting women."

She swung at him again but he reached up and held her hand firm.

She growled deep and suddenly shifted to anthro form. HOLY FUCK! I had never seen a female lycan but ... GOD DAMN, SHE WAS HUGE! I'm not talking big like Kyle but this woman's bulk was immense. Her breasts were covered in fur and swinging wildly as her bulky body worked against Kyle's.

He was starting to shift. Gordon leaned down, "Unless you want to be conjuring new clothes constantly, you might want to remove those from him." I continued to stare but nodded. I held my hand up and waved it. Kyle was suddenly nude. Realizing that he was free of clothing he shifted to his full anthro height. He towered over the woman but she didn't give up. She got free, mostly because Kyle was trying to be gentle, and swung a clawed hand at him. He grabbed her arm and flung her across the patio and into a bed of lavender.

She was dazed for a moment. Kyle walked over to her and was about to reach down and grab her when the French doors slammed open. Aedan walked out yelling, "OYE! BERNIE! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Bernie?" Gordon asked looking at me and Blake. Blake shrugged but still had a smirk on his face.

Aedan stomped his way over to the female lycan, who we now knew as 'Bernie', and stared down at her.

She suddenly got up and lunged at Kyle. He roared and focused his First Alpha power at her. It shook us all but made the woman fall to her knees clutching her ears. Aedan was pushed back by the force. I was glad we were out of direct range of that blast. I could sense that Kyle had held back tremendously. The power that lie within him would be phenomenal if fully released.

Kyle looked at her and growled out, "SHIFT!"

Her body trembled and she returned to her human form.

She sat on the ground nude. I quickly averted my eyes.

"Um," I said uncomfortably, "I'd better do something about that," then snapped my fingers with my back to her. I put her back into the same style of pink housecoat that had been destroyed.

Aedan looked up to Kyle and bowed his head, "I'm sorry for my sister's actions First Alpha."

"Sister?" the word dropped out of all four of us guys mouths at the same time.