Rolf's Penance
#2 of My Pack side stories
This one takes place after chapter 6 and shows things from Rolf's perspective. Hope you enjoy
I thought I could handle them confronting me. But when Eric started yelling I just couldn't keep myself together. "How could you fucking hurt him like that? He is half your size! I don't give a damn what you were on. You acted and that falls on you. That poor kid down the hall is going to be fucked up for a very long time because of what you did. Do you even remember what you did to him? Do I have tell you what you did to him?"
My ears were pulled back and I just sat there. Letting him yell, horrified that I could have done anything even remotely like that. Sure sometimes I would get combative when drunk. But I have never done anything near what happened last night. My head ached and I felt sick. Both from being hungover and what I did to him. Whatever the consequences I would accept them. From what everyone was saying this wouldn't go to the police.
Eric was still yelling when the door to the room swung open. We both looked at the small dog and the lion who stood behind him. "Get him out of here!" the tiger yelled angrily. My cousin was pissed, I'm sure the only reason he didn't beat me to death was because his mate, the small frail canine in front of him, wanted me to be left alone. "No I need to do this," he said.
I could tell he was nervous, afraid that I would hurt him again. Gods I was going to be sick. It took everything I had not to break down. Eric sighed, and I just sat there waiting for what was to come. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath with his nose against my cousin. Needing that comforting scent to push him through this. He paused for a second before proceeding. "I just need to know why." His eyes were still closed. He couldn't even bear to look at me.
I couldn't blame him, I could smell the weaker male on me. I knew despite not being able to remember, that it happened. "It wasn't intentional, I swear it wasn't. Sometimes when I get drunk I get aggressive, never really had a problem with it aside from fighting with people. Never hurt anyone like that though." I took a breath, "That could have been the trail mix more than the beer."
He opened his eyes and I could tell he was angry now. "You cant put all that off on a bad trip or whatever. You hurt me, I'm going to be fucked up for who knows how long because of what happened. You wont hurt anyone else, ever again." I started to feel sick again. But this was part of the punishment for what I did. This was what the little dog wanted so I took it.
"Trail mix?" Eric asked sounding a little confused. I was about to explain what it was when the canine growled. "Viagra mixed with ecstasy, crystal meth or cocaine. It is supposed to make sex amazing." I didn't know what mine was mixed with. Not E that's for sure. I just took it to help unwind and maybe jerk off a bit. Finding tail around here is too much of a hassle.
The dog was so hurt, angry and in pain. I broke down not able to hold back. "I'm really sorry it happened and I'm going to get help so it doesn't happen again." He clenched his hand, tears running down my cheeks. He looked about ready to break down as well. "Better not, if it does you wont have to worry about there two killing you because I will do it myself you sick bastard." I sobbed silently, I'm not like that. I'm really not, I didn't mean to hurt him.
"You so much as drink or touch that shit again and I find out, I will neuter your ass with my claws." Torban held his canine lover against him. Kimber growled at me. I just sat there not knowing what to do aside from listen. "I have scars because of that shit. I cant even look at Torban without having to fight a panic attack. Not to mention my ass, once it heals your claw marks will still be there, where you put them. You ignored my pleas and cries."
Oh Gods, I was going to throw up. I fucked him up so badly, an innocent guy. From what I was told by Eric he came out thinking I needed help. I hurt someone who came to me wanting to help. "If ever there was a time I wanted to anyone what happened, it is right now. Just so you will know what I went through while your drunk ass raped me. You held me down, beat me, cut me with your claws, threatened me, raped me and then left me out in the cold for who knows how long. You hurt me in ways that no one should ever be hurt. Never again, never again."
He was crying and the only thing keeping him up was Torban. Eric moved over to hold him as well. I just stared at them, crying to myself for having ruined his life. He couldn't even look at his mate, how could he ever function normally in their relationship again after all this? Eric wiped the tears from Kimber's eyes. "Let's get you back to bed puppy," Eric told him. Torban picked him up and carefully carried him out into the hallway.
Eric looked back at me one last time before closing the door behind him on his way out. I just sat there, thinking about everything Kimber said. Trying to remember what happened last night. The memories wouldn't come, but I could smell blood on my hands. I stood up and ran to the door, pulling it open. I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up into the toilet. There wasn't much in my stomach. So I stood on my knees dry heaving for what felt like ages.
I looked over at Doctor Warner, the gorilla made a few notes before returning his attention to me. "It's been a while since it happened, still having nightmares?" I shook my head, "No haven't had one of those in weeks." He looked at his notes, "Been a year almost. Christmas is in a few weeks. The season affecting you any?"
"Not really, I don't remember attacking him. Just the fucked up feelings that came with finding out I brutally assaulted him like a monster. From what I have been told, he is alright with me going back for the Holidays." Doctor Warner adjusted his classes and made another note. "What about his therapist, have you heard how his treatment for Rape Trauma Syndrome is coming along?"
I shook my head, "From what I have been told he isn't seeing one at all. He tells Eric and Torban everything and they work through it together." He sat forward and looked at me. "Seriously? He isn't seeing anyone for treatment at all? Not even taking medication for possible signs of PTSD?" I shook my head again, "No. He wants nothing to do with that. It is putting a strain on their relationship at times. But because of it, Torban feels more connected to him."
"I admire him for his resilience. Could you see if he is willing to talk to me over the phone. I would very much like to hear his side of things." I nodded my head, "Yeah of course. If he is open to that. I mean from what my cousin says, he wont tell anyone about it. Only him and Eric." He made another note, "You haven't drank or taken any drugs since the incident. Your father says you are tested regularly for that. How are you feeling?"
I shrugged, "I'm doing better knowing how much better he is doing. If he wasn't I would never forgive myself. Now I feel like, if he can forgive me and move on so can I. Because that wasn't me that night. That was a monster, one that I created and one that hurt someone very precious to my cousin and Eric."
"We all have monsters inside of us. But staying in control and making sure everyone around us is safe is too important to let these beasts out. I'm proud of you for the steps you're taking. It would only be a matter of time before you hurt someone else in the same way you did with him. You're turning your life around and making real progress. We will meet again after your family vacation and depending on how that session goes you may not have to come back to see me."
"Thanks, for everything. I was a mess when I first started seeing you. Depressed, angry at myself and worried about the damage I caused not only to my family but Kimber as well. I'll see you when I get back Doctor." He waved at me as I stood up, "See you later Rolf. Have a Merry Christmas."
As much as I hate what Rolf did to Kimber, he wasn't in the right frame of mind to know right from wrong. He was just a guy, drinking and enjoying himself while stuck with his boring relatives in a podunk town in Washington. The point of this story was to show that. Hope you enjoyed that glimpse into yet another one of my characters, please vote, fave if you liked it, watch if you wish to see more, comment below with kind criticisms and friendly advice, and as always thanks for reading
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