FSE

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At the peak of my cranial turmoil, her sudden appearance felt right. The weeks of mental distress, plus the past few days of loneliness and malnutrition, pointed to a hallucination. Her appearance highlighted the apex of my breakdown, the loss of my lingering shred of sanity. Even as I stared at her, begging myself to make her vanish, she only stared back.

It couldn't have been Spinner. She always bobbed with the waves or flanked the group while swimming, going solo against the currents while the pod fought them together. She nipped and butted until she found a playmate, or was shooed away. True to her name, she'd spin through swells and out the other side. No dolphin could match her energy, especially not the one which sat before. Large white scars lined her face and abdomen, sets of threes all about. Without much blubber her melon appeared distended, a giant boil mounted at the end of a gangly body. Near her blowhole were puckered scar tissue, strewn about in random yet deliberate fashion. Her dorsal fin drooped, its tip dulled and worn down. The motion of the waves pushed her about lamely with her pec-fins struggling to keep her still. Her eyes, much like Isthia's, should've glimmered in the night sky. Instead they bulged from their sockets, pulled back to reveal the whites. They stared in my direction but didn't appear to see me. She'd already seen enough suffering to not recognize my own.

Spinner trailed back into what she'd been saying.

"...it could be you. Or maybe not. Sounded like you were whistling something familiar, but I dunno." Her words flowed into the sea like lost radio waves. But they didn't go unheard. I understood exactly what she had said. Isthia, perhaps all dolphins at that time, sounded only like clicks and whistles. But Spinner's clicks were clearly words. Her whistles were inflections. And those overtones reflected her emotions, clashing harmonies to the melody of her speech. She had to be a hallucination. Don't characters in a dream create their own sentences? Can't speechless characters suddenly form speech? Why should a hallucination be any different?

Well, why not play along? My mind toys with me, I toy back. Let this speechless character speak for once.

"Really? That's your best? She doesn't look anything like that?"

The Spinner phantom cocked its bulbous head. No doubt it heard what I'd heard.

My speech hadn't changed! English grated against dolphin. I'd tried to form consonants with no lips! The words didn't translate naturally to dolphin! I spoke nonsense just like I did before! This wasn't a hallucination!

Oh shit. This wasn't a hallucination.

"I don't know what you're saying." Spinner cooed, defeated. "You're obviously not him."

Any lingering shred of hope and doubt disappeared from her eyes. Her muscles slackened. Her eyes lidded. She stopped balancing herself against the waves and bobbed about. I tried my best to imitate her way of speaking.

"Spinner, it's me! Gregory!"

"You look a lot like someone I know. Used to know."

"Spinner, it IS me!"

Spinner began to float up for a breath.

"I...I'm sorry. You probably don't know what I'm saying either. I only know Gulf dialect."

"Spinner!" She paused at the surface, staring at me. "Look, I can't understand you, alright? I thought you were someone else, but you're not." The weight of her desolation pulled her down from the surface. Staring past me, she added, "He's not even a real dolphin, anyway."

I didn't know how to respond. Not that I could.

Spinner descended down to my level. I started swimming around her, scanning her for any other injuries. Besides starvation and the scarring, I noticed healing rake marks down along her flank. They didn't look affectionate.

She shut her eyes and began sinking lower. "Just do it already. I can't fight back."

"Shut up. I'm going to help you."

"Sure, sure, weak and vulnerable. Easy prey. Keep laughing like that. I don't care anymore."

I stopped scanning and broke for a breath. Spinner didn't move.

"I could've made it back home. But I wasted all my energy chasing you."

"Let me help you, then!"

"Dunno what I was thinking. You felt so familiar. I guess I thought you were my sister."

Her words reverberated in the water, creating a buzz with no inflections.

"Spinner, it's me! And Isthia is, well..."

She popped her eyes open.

"What did you say?"

I paused. She couldn't have understood me.

"What did you just say?"

She stared at me.

"You were whistling that earlier. What was it?"

I tried my hardest to be understood.

"Spinner, Isthia is safe."

"Did you say 'Isthia'?" Spinner's eyes bulged. Her pecs began quivering.

I didn't know how to make her understand me. But at that moment, I did something that broke our language barrier- I nodded. Alien as it was to dolphins, the old pod knew me to often make this gesture. It froze her in her place. For a few brief moments, she seemed to study me without changing her glance. When the shock wore off Spinner inched herself towards me.

"Gregory...."

A veil of curiosity fell across her face. The white in her eyes started to recede.

"Please tell me that's you. I don't want to be crazy."

I hesitated. Trying to talk would only confuse her more. But without a reply, Spinner's fins began to shake faster. Her head bobbed and she whimpered.

"Please tell me it's you. Please!"

Unable to speak, unable to comfort her, I did the only other thing I knew how. Inching forward I pressed the tip of my rostrum to Spinner's, tracing it along her jaw line. By flicking my tail I managed to roll myself upside down, running my rostrum tip against her underbelly. Spinner's whole body went rigid. I pressed our bodies together and brought my fins to her sides. I felt her body slacken, sinking into my embrace. Her ribs and muscle pushed through a thin layer of blubber, but still I held her close. And with our ashen, bony bodies pressed against one another, we let our anguish flow. Spinner's grief over her plight spilled out into the water, her cries of agony accompanied by her grip on my body. Sorrow, loss, physical pain, exhaustion, confusion, and her relief of encountering a gentle, familiar creature echoed in the vast ocean within it all she'd endured. Her body lay shivering against mine while her emotions poured out, a string of sounds too heartbreaking to transcribe. Engrossed in her display, I began to cry out for her and me, for the life we abandoned to venture out into the sea, alone. We were both lone, tortured creatures at the mercy of the unforgiving wasteland we failed to conquer on our own.

When the water around us quieted down, we both surfaced for air in silence. Spinner's gaunt appearance seemed a bit more vibrant, her eyes alive and black and her movements more fluid. Still, she looked just as sick and frightened as ever. Knowing my speech hadn't quite returned, she was the one to finally break the silence.

"So, here you are." She spoke calmly. There was a hollowness in her voice. I continued to stare. Waves broke against her cape, trickling down the raised scar tissue by her blowhole.

"I want to see Isthia, Gregory." A hint of firmness. "Where's my sister?"

After I was about to speak, Spinner shut her eyes and cut me off.

"Just- never mind, Gregory. I can't understand you, and I'm too tired to try."

With that she sank below the waves, her tail drooping like an anchor. I sank and darted towards the bottom, pulsing the seafloor with my sonar as fast as possible. In a minute I returned to Spinner's lifeless form with a mouthful of stunned goby. Spinner took one look and, with a mild easing of her mood, accepted the gift in one gulp.

The sun peaked across the horizon. All night I'd watched the sky turn from black, to pale grey, and finally a mild blue. At first light the sky was ablaze, swaths of pink and orange announcing the entrance of the star and the new day. I'd spent hours swimming around Spinner while she slept, and unnaturally so. It was continuous, done at the surface so she could breathe. If she started to sink, I pushed her back up. And when the sun finally rose it washed me in a sense of relief. There would be more nights in the open ocean, but no longer would they be unbearable.

I greeted Spinner with four Atlantic thread herrings when she finally awoke. She swallowed three and motioned to me. "Go on. You're hungry too."

I'd caught several more herrings earlier that morning, but swallowed it anyway. For once, it was good not to speak.

Spinner's exhaustion lessened throughout the night, and her strength returned by morning. Already she could swim at my pace, but winced occasionally while turning or rolling. I didn't think dolphins could get sore muscles, so I started scanning again for broken bones or other injuries.

"I'm alright, really", she snapped. "Some other dolphin rammed me in my pelvis but it doesn't hurt, okay?"

I stopped and stared at her. Spinner glanced at me but didn't try to apologize. We swam on in silence.

Neither of us were traveling any particular way. Spinner wandered about aimlessly; sometimes speeding up to get ahead, other times trailing at my side eyeing me with a suspicious and inquisitive gaze. As uncomfortable as it was, I refused to leave her. Questions brimmed within her eyes and I didn't want to leave until, some way or another, I answered them. And it didn't look like she wanted me gone, either.

Although she could swim, Spinner's senses were still jumbled. She snapped at potential meals while hunting, but her attempts were painfully uncoordinated. At one point a fish darted beneath her and she turned upside down, thrusting her tail and trying to right herself, instead smacking her melon on the sea floor. I stunned the fish and brought it to her. With an expression of mixed annoyance and helplessness, she accepted the fish.

Sometime around midday, Spinner's pace began to slack. She trailed behind with half-hearted attempts to thrust her tail. I dove to turn myself around, then came back to her position.

"What's wrong?" I asked, knowing full well it was pointless.

"When are you going to stop that?" She replied wearily. "I'm not in the mood for jokes."

I moved into her line of sight, trying to put on a serious face.

"Why aren't you with Isthia?"

Memories flooded back to me, but I focused in on Spinner.

"I really miss her. I want to see her." There was a noticeable shakiness in her voice.

She turned away when I moved to rub her with my rostrum. I cocked my head.

"She's all I have left!"

She began to quiver, but when I tried to console her again she snapped her jaws.

"No! I don't want you to comfort me! Why can't you understand that? Why do you care about helping me when your mate's not even here?"

I recoiled from her attack. She continued.

"You're a goddamn human! A stupid creature so obsessed with himself that you torture and murder other animals! It's horrible what you do to this world- especially what you do to us!"

Her eyes showed white. Her fins shook. Her jaws snapped. She was terrifying.

"You know you're smarter, you understand things I couldn't even begin to! And you don't hunt us- you torture us! What the hell is wrong with you?" She began to swim erratically in circles, showing obvious pain in her injured side. "After all those little trips to visit humans, I didn't think you were harmful. You're weak, you're small, you can't even swim! But I had no idea what you were capable of!"

She stared at me, pain slicing through her rage. "You were the only one I'd met, and I never even saw you as one! I thought you were weird at first, but I see why- you're not a real dolphin! You always stayed with Isthia, you never fought the males, you couldn't even swim! But you were so friendly, and you cared for my sister. Now I come back after, after THAT, and see you swimming without her, and you're worried about ME?"

Suddenly she jerked forward, ramming her melon into my face. Pain shot down my body and I buckled, releasing a flurry of bubbles. Spinner whipped around and snapped her jaws onto my side. She then swam above me and dove down, slamming her entire body on top of mine. I struggled to free myself but she pressed against me, forcing me away from the surface as my last reserves of air ran out.

My tooth ached from the attack and I realized it was true. I am human. About to be murdered by a wild dolphin. Things kill other things. It's a way of life.

The pressure stopped. My body started to float. I could feel my heart beating, my lungs burning, my fresh bite throbbing. But when I looked around, there was no sign of Spinner. Eagerly I raced to the surface but stopped.

Spinner floated with her blowhole above the water, swishing her tail to anchor herself.

Did she run out of air attacking me? Was she coming back for more?

No, she was waiting. Waiting for me to try to breach. She'd slam me again so I'd drown.

But I hurt all over. Inside and out. Physically, emotionally, whatever.. I was ready to take the chance.

Spinner saw me ascending but didn't stop me from breaching. I spy-hopped, inadvertently exposing my underside and all vital organs directly in front of a dolphin who tried to kill me. It took a few gasps of air before I realized this and I pulled my lower half up to the surface. Spinner had a chance to attack again, but hadn't. Her eyes were closed.

"That wasn't fair, Gregory," she whimpered. "What they did to everyone, my family, the others. We didn't have a chance. They went for the calves first. And we knew it. I never want to hear those sounds again."

So, that's what happened. My stomach turned when she spoke, hoping not to hear any more details.

"And that wasn't fair to you," She stroked her rostrum against me, between my pectoral fins. "It wasn't your fault. None of it was. And I'm sorry."

I rolled onto my side and brushed her with my fin, looking at her eyes, praying she'd open her eyes to see me and not what was replaying in her mind.

"You love Isthia. And you loved all of us. She left the pod to be with you, and you were human. But seeing as you're a dolphin now, well, I guess she found you. And you left your old life to be with her. You would never do anything to hurt her, or any dolphin."

Finally she opened her eyes, turning to look at me. That look could bring anyone to tears.

"I just couldn't understand why. Why do you do it? Why was it so awful? Why do you talk so weird now?" Her flippers were once again quivering and her voice was tight, as if out of air. "Why aren't you with Isthia? I can't understand it! I've been so alone."

I rolled over and took Spinner into my flippers, unable to bear seeing such a lonely creature. She tensed in my grasp but soon relaxed, letting out a string of unintelligible clicks and whistles. Her head shook from side to side until I raised my rostrum up to hold it in place. After a few brief moments, her flippers stopped shaking and fell to the side. Her body sank against me, our whitish-grey undersides pressed together. It was a sensation we both had long gone without. And the added warmth, the skin on skin, her flukes bobbing near mine- I swore I was back holding Isthia.

Could it have been avoided, I wondered? What if neither one of us heard the man shouting for help? We never would've taken him to the island. We never would've put ourselves at risk to keep him alive. Isthia and I would've made it out of the Gulf. Spinner would've seen both of us, tracked us down right away. Even in her state she would've swam faster than either of us if she'd recognized Isthia. And they would've been alright. But why all the "we's"? Who was I kidding? Spinner did nothing to deserve her suffering. Isthia did nothing to deserve her abandonment. And, perhaps, the man did nothing to deserve....well, that. It was all me. Me, the stupid creature. The smarter, cleverer, barbaric land mammal. A throbbing tooth. I held a dolphin in my arms. My foot brushed her flukes. Her rostrum was held in place by my neck. All hoping to vindicate some of the anguish I'd caused.

"I'm sorry, Spinner."

She didn't respond.

We must've sat there for hours, I can't remember. Can't quite recall how we managed to breathe or keep safe from predators or boats. There weren't any, and that was the worst part. We were in each other's grasp, but we were both equally alone.

Finally, she broke the silence.

"Gregory?" She cooed. "At least answer me this."

I pivoted my head to better see her, to show she had my attention.

"Isthia," there was a brief pause. "Is she still alive?"

After a moments hesitation, I shook my head 'yes'. It was all I had.

Something flickered in Spinner's eyes, a sudden flash followed by the same dreary desolate black. At last, closure. Perhaps relief. Millions of questions narrowed down to hundreds. Isthia could've been in an aquarium tank across the world, or beached somewhere in the white sands of the Keys. But to Spinner, it was all the same- her sister was alive.

"Whatever reason you two split," she trilled, "I hope it wasn't for good."

Wasn't it? Some insane existentialist man-dolphin? A wild animal with a split personality and taste for human flesh? Spewing nonsense and acting erratically? What good would me staying do? Spinner was right about everything, and I needed to hear it from someone else. I wasn't a real dolphin. I didn't fight for other females besides Isthia. I didn't mate with any females besides Isthia. One male for every five females? What real dolphin would find that insulting?

But I was real. I lived in the sea. I had flippers, fins, blowhole, echolocation. We communicated with clicks and whistles. We ate fish live. And sometimes, we interacted with people. So why couldn't my two psyches live harmoniously? It was easier in the past, before changing back. Nostalgic of my life on land, sure. But I wasn't living that life then. Why was it so hard? Why couldn't I be a real dolphin?

Because maybe, I couldn't conform. Nothing passed through my mind without that nagging human logic. Practices engrained since birth clashed against the practices the dolphins always knew. They would fight for control. They would murder intruding pod members. They would...

One male to five females. And I turned it down.

"Cute. Real cute."

Isthia wanted me to visit Aimee. She wasn't jealous.

"We don't judge sex as act. It is usual we will still have sex with other dolphins."

Wonder if she ever? No. Knew it'd hurt me. Such willpower.

Spinner was lonely, I was lonely, but...no.

Well, told you so. Not a real dolphin.

But she might be freaked out.

Worst she can do is say no.

Or attack me again.

Or that.

She feels so much like Isthia....

Calmly, I flicked the end of my tail up against Spinner's. She didn't react much, moving her tail away and letting it fall. I tried it again and she didn't even move it. Slowly, I raised it up past her own tail and let it fall, intertwining out appendages. The force pushed our bodies even closer, creasing the lines of white on our underbellies.

Without warning, Spinner twisted off me and bucked her tail a few times. I gazed at her, crushed and disappointed. So she wasn't interested. Fair enough. It would've been a strange mix anyway. But then I saw her break the surface, heard a faint but hearty chuff, followed by another. She sank below the waves and swam back down to me. To my surprise, she gripped me with her fins and allowed the other half of her body to sink right on top of mine. Our rostrums were aligned, I took a hold of her, and when her warm underside pressed against mine a shiver went down my body.

Did she know? Or was it coincidence? Didn't matter. I began caressing her with my rostrum, first against hers and then against her melon and head. When I brushed past her eye she shut it, waited for me to move, and opened it again. At first she remained passive to my touch but quickly warmed to it. She too started rubbing along my face with her rostrum and started gently trilling. While she wasn't as good as Isthia, I couldn't help but bristle to her touch.

Instinctively, I thrust against Spinner before taking time to gauge her reaction. To my surprise she flicked her tail, as if inviting me. My penis stirred within my cramped genital folds . Blood engorged my member and began warming up. But a different sensation caught my eye- there was a pleasant burning pressed to my lower abdomen. I looked down and saw that the bands of white along our underbellies flushed pink. The sight, the warmth, it was so contrasting to cool saltwater around us. I twisted my head to see Spinner. She was looking down at me with a dreamy gaze, a sudden tenderness masking her once dreary disposition. I hesitated, but Spinner silently nipped at the sides of my rostrum. I thrust once more, pressing and grinding my swollen slit against hers. The tip of my penis poked out from its confinement and came to rest between Spinner's outer labia lips. She trilled loudly and rubbed her trembling flippers against the side of my body.

My human thoughts began to beg me not to, to turn and go, not to betray my love to Isthia. And it was then, after weeks of agony at its mercy, I decided to shut it up for good. Time to prove I'm a real dolphin.

I bucked my tail several times, rubbing my tip against her swollen lips as we shivered against one another, Spinner whirring softly. Pressure building in my slit forced another few inches of my member out and broke past her tight outer lips. Spinner clicked and nipped at my rostrum while bucking her own tail, trying to force me in. Her plump lips burned against my skin, eager to get the full treatment. With one final thrust my cock broke through my slit, past her lips and through the burning, watertight seal of her vulva. Spinner tensed in my grasp, emitting a loud squeal as her insides stretched to accommodate my stiffening cock. I uttered a low trill, feeling her muscles squeeze and pull against my cock, trying to force more of me inside. The pink on her underside now blazed bright red, reaching from her pussy to below her head, creating a pocket of warmth between our two bodies. She was much tighter than Isthia, possibly due to size, and I thrust slowly to allow her muscles to stretch out. By now she practically vibrated in my grasp, lost in ecstasy she'd long gone without. Her eyes were shut tight and her mouth sat open. Not long ago this dolphin shook with rage, sorrow, torment- now she shook with pleasure. What once was an expression of great pain and loss now reflected a most deeply rooted delight. Her slick walls squeezed and massaged my cock, which already stretched her lining to the max. Intense jolts of pleasure rippled through my body with every squeeze she gave, causing me to buck harder against her. In turn, she'd push her body against mine, sometime grinding herself against me when I'd thrust harder. I opened my rostrum and licked the tip of hers, gently nipping near her teeth. Spinner tried to return the affection but seemed lost in the attention, her body and pussy walls tensing up. I recognized a swelling bulb rubbing the base of my shaft with every pull and thrust. Her clitoris. Scooting my body upwards slightly, The entire length of my cock slid against her sensitive organ as I entered her. Spinner almost fainted in response, going limp before a tremor rocked her entire body, grinding the inner walls of her vagina against my cock. Spinner warbled loudly, pulsing her muscles against the length of my shaft. I began to pick up the pace, pulling two thirds of my cock out and thrusting back in repeatedly. Spinner's eyes opened momentarily then shut again, accompanied by a cluster of bubbles from her blowhole. Her walls clenched at my cock, begging, and I could sense she was nearing her climax. Wasting no more time, I pushed my shaft in to the hilt and began to pump as fast as I could against her swollen, burning slit. Spinner arched her tail upwards, forcing her pussy against me, and her muscles started to throb on my cock. Suddenly she whistled loudly, clamping down on me and quivering. I closed my eyes, forcing back my own orgasm, while she climaxed for what felt like forever. She began to thrust against me, kneading my engorged and sensitive cock with the firm muscles in her pussy. As her climax subsided with another body-rocking shiver, I pulled my erection from her slit and thrust against her flank, firing a load of cum into the comparably chilly water around me. When my own orgasm began to pass, I looked at her face and beamed. Her eyes were closed, mouth was open, tongue lapping at the water around us. I nuzzled against her, basking in the sight of her reeling in much needed bliss. The red on our undersides faded to pink, receded, and finally reverted to the usual off-white coat of blubber and flesh. Gently I ran my teeth along a spot behind left eye and she did the same. After a moment we both sported a fresh cluster of rake marks, tallying our first sexual encounter.

We both caught our breath swimming at the surface, taking in much needed air. Spinner's movements were much more vibrant and jubilant, even to the point of her attempting a few mini-breaches. Her strength hadn't quite returned and she ended up falling onto her back, but it didn't seem to bother her. I felt a warming sensation within my chest and couldn't keep my eyes from her. She'd been a shadow, victimized by a traumatic event and set out into an ocean alone in hopes of finding some shred of familiarity. Now she danced against the growing swells, taking in the final rays of sun as it sank in the west. Such exuberance emanated from her, becoming infectious. Soon she was trying to nip me on the flippers, and I would roll away just in time to try to nip at hers. We brushed against one another as we swam, sometimes intentionally shoving to be the one swimming behind, gliding the wake of the one in front. We chirruped, whirred, clicked and whistled, but didn't speak. It wasn't necessary. Our spirits were too high to do anything else.

As we did, though, I became aware of something. My non-communicative vocalizations were becoming more contained, more precise. I'd been so engrossed in our play that even intended phrases "get back here!" or "knock it off!" came out naturally, not in the dolphin-imitative English I'd been stuck with. It was a step in the right direction. Even though neither one of us were necessarily using speech, our non-communicative vocals began to sound similar.

My tooth throbbed suddenly, and a rush of fear overcame me. Why now? Why did it have to happen now? I shook my head, hoping to keep control of myself and not enter back into one of my spells.

Inside my head, there was nothing. And that in and of itself shocked me. I knew there was a brain in my head, but I couldn't feel it there. And what's more, there was no parasite. No separate human entity peering through my eye socket or drumming its fingers across the top of my brain. It felt....even. The two sides of my psyche, my dolphin and human sides, appeared to have made amends. Neither one jockeyed for position, neither one argued or filled my thoughts with conflicting ideas. The devil and angel had vanished from my shoulder, so to speak. I trilled loudly, imagining tears of joy rolling down my cheeks. But I had no cheeks, only blubbery skin. And I had no tear ducts, just my eyes. And I knew it. And I loved it. Gregory Shoemaker, meet Gregory Shoemaker, the real dolphin.

Throughout the night, Spinner and I spent our time hunting and playing. Spinner found a large sea-turtle and spun it with her beak. The creature recoiled into its shell, at which point she began to spin it the other way, trying to balance the poor thing on the end of her snout. Meanwhile I whistled, as best as I could, a basic calliope tune. Needless to say Spinner didn't get the reference. Later on we found a large squid roughly the size of a housecat. We chased it for a good distance, digging it out when it tried to escape into a reef, or blasting it with sonar when it inked us. Finally Spinner caught it and we took turns fighting over ownership rights. The original captor prevailed and I mock-brooded for the next few hours.

When sunlight touched the sky, Spinner finally broke our silence.

"Gregory, I'm really happy to run into you out here. You don't know what I've been through."

I chirruped and nudged her with my beak.

"I feel awful about those things I said yesterday. That's not me at all. You know I'd gone nuts and didn't mean that stuff, right?"

She glanced over to me and I nodded. She'd gotten used to working around our language barrier.

"Anyways, not really sure why you and Isthia aren't together now. You're like the same dolphins. Caring, loyal, gentle but fun. Not sure if she's as good a lover as you though! Damn! That was better than any dolphin I've met! Was kinda confused why you didn't just go with the usual few humps and break for air. It kinda bugs me to have to go back to that now. Those dolphin guys love to have all the fun and let us hope for something better. And they wonder why we're always so frisky."

She gave me a sideways glance, almost as if blushing. I warbled and she butted me with her melon.

"Anyways, what I'm trying to say is you two are perfect for one another. Just super jealous she got to you before I did. I just don't get what would cause you to break up."

Something in my expression caught her eye and she quickly surfaced for air.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to bring up any baggage. But Gregory, you say Isthia is alive? Where is she?"

I was about to say something but she cut me off.

"No, wait. Sorry, forgot about that voice thing you're doing. I guess what I'm asking is," she turned and looked directly at me. "Can you take me to her? Please?"

Oh Spinner. If only you knew how badly I'd want that.

"I can't do that." It came out automatically. So naturally, Spinner jumped before I did.

"Wait, what? You can talk now?"

I paused, lulling over the words in my mind. Overtones, chattering, clicks and whistles....

"Yeah. I guess it's come back to me."

She scanned me once over, with her eyes and her sonar. A suspicious look darted across her face but faded when she noticed how serious I was.

"What happened to you?"

"I don't know."

"Why were you talking like that?"

"I, er," I searched for the simplest answer. "My body was rejecting my mind. Or vice versa."

"From what?"

"From, I don't know. That's the thing."

Spinner paused. "She helped you through it the first time around, right?"

"Through what?"

"You know, changing. From human to dolphin."

"You could say that."

She chuffed. "No, I mean like inside your head."

"Yeah, I guess she did."

Spinner looked at me inquisitively, clicking softly. "What's it like?"

I stifled a laugh. "It's horrible. Some things don't translate well."

"Yeah," she muttered, off-handedly. "Wouldn't doubt it."

We swam silently for a moment. Spinner piped in again. "Was it your first time alone? Like, in open waters?"

"Sort of. We'd always split now and then, personal time or hunting or whatnot. But it's the first time I'd been over a few miles journey from her."

Spinner mulled over the concept. She seemed overly empathetic, but said nothing.

Finally, she returned to her original topic.

"Why can't you take me to Isthia?"

I went up for air, returning with a mild drooping of my head. "I don't know where she is."

"What do you mean?"

"We planned to travel north together. Out of the Gulf. But I went without her. Something got in the way."

" 'In the way'? You didn't have a fight did you?"

"No," I sighed. "But I wish we had. Would've made leaving her behind easier."

"Yeah," she trilled. "Guess you wouldn't have gone this far if you'd had an argument."

"I wasn't in the right mindset, Spinner. I mean, I literally lost control of my mind."

"You went nuts."

"Yeah."

We swam on silently. Spinner nuzzled her rostrum beneath me, against the base of my pectoral fin. I rolled on my side to brush my fins along her body.

"Spinner, whatever you went through, wherever that happened at, just remember- we're not ALL bad. I knew a man who tried to save dolphins in a hurricane-"

"No!" she cut me off. "Gregory, I know that! It's just that you were the first dolphin I could confide with since it happened. And it didn't help you were a human at one point." She rose for air and returned, voice softened in embarrassment. "It was a stupid thing to say. Especially to you."

I nipped her rostrum gingerly. "I'm glad you said it though."

She clicked curiously. I didn't try to answer.

Hours passed before we spoke again. Spinner would occasionally nuzzle against me, or attempt some frisky foreplay, but I'd shoot her down. Time passed, and neither one of us seemed to know where we traveled to.

Finally, it was my turn to break the silence.

"Spinner."

She cocked her head. "How well can you navigate?"

"I traveled a long way back." She claimed with a hint of pride.

I paused. "Which way is the Gulf?"

She answered more eagerly than I'd imagined. "Back that way, a good deal south."

"Maybe," I spoke deliberately, "I can take you back to where Isthia might be."

"You can? Oh, Gregory!" She diverted and pressed her whole body to me, butting and nuzzling me along my face and underside. "You're the greatest!"

As much as I wanted to see Isthia again, I couldn't share in her enthusiasm. Spinner seemed to notice, because she stopped and cooed.

"Spinner, when I left Isthia, nothing was right about me. I was talking like before. But I couldn't even understand Isthia."

"Like how?"

"Like, she was nothing but clicks and whistles," I muttered. "Only worse. I understood the hurt and confusion in her eyes. But I left anyway. And," there was a long pause. "I left her by an island where a man was bleeding in the surf."

Spinner's eyes widened. "You what? Gregory! Why would you do that?"

"Didn't you hear me?" I snapped suddenly. "I was insane! I'd gone completely nuts!"

Spinner shrunk back and stared at me. There was a second-guessing nature to her expression.

"I attacked a man we'd saved during the hurricane. Not exactly sure why now. But he was bleeding badly. I hoped Isthia wouldn't show up as I left, but she did. And while I was talking to her in that way, she stopped making sense to me. But I knew what she was saying. And that devastated me."

Her mood softened slightly, and for the next few minutes Spinner considered what I'd said.

"Well, you can talk fine now."

"Yes."

"And you don't seem crazy."

"No."

Spinner rolled herself over, a moment of contemplation.

"So you're ashamed."

My silence answered for her.

"It's worth avoiding your pregnant mate and shark bait in bloody waters?"

"Wow," I scoffed. "When you put it like that-"

"Is it worth it?"

A pause. "No."

"Then," Spinner gently replied. "Follow me." With that she cut a beeline across my path, diving below me and darting away on her side. For a moment I watched her, contemplating, wondering when she'd look back and see if I followed. Eventually her outline disappeared into the murky waters and I used my sonar to find her. With her locked in my sights, I started pumping my tail to catch up to her, riding the wake she left behind in her rush.

It took a few days before we hit the Keys. Spinner navigated and I scanned out in the distance, hopping to catch Isthia coming after me. Our first indication was a rise in the seabed, something Spinner pointed out. Afterwards, a noticeable gyration of the water around us, tight circles a few miles apart causing some resistance in our swimming. I'd encountered the same currents activity leaving the Keys, but didn't notice them much at the time. After a while the currents began to widen, maintaining the large, exaggerated gyrations that would've been imperceptible to boats or swimmers. We knew it, though. It was like a passing breeze, a quarter mile wide in spots, like walking out into a breezy day and returning back to the calm indoors. The Florida current and the Gulf stream met, clashing with one another, causing the swirling of large swaths of ocean. At least, that's what I assumed. I'm no scientist.

Finally, Spinner noticed a sloping of the sea shelf, and the increased water temperature. We'd made it to the Keys! And all the familiar sensations returned- the hum of boats and freighters cutting through the water, the gentle sunlight against our backs, even the familiar fish and crustaceans found nestled in the cluster of islands. After a few hours we saw large gatherings of polyps, coral and fish life. This was the Florida Keys Reef Tract. It ran parallel to the Keys, and it meant the islands were close-by.

Finally, we managed to break through the archipelago, with some resistance coming from the Gulf stream current. After this point, Spinner let me navigate back towards the island we'd likely find Isthia at. It was surprisingly easy. There seemed to be a pull in my brain towards either the North or the South, each exerting different sensations in my mind. Maybe I'd never noticed it before and stuck with following Isthia. But it made me wonder if this was how birds or whales migrate. But again, I'm no scientist.

While we swam, Spinner tried her best to make conversation.

"So, how long do people usually live?"

"Depends. Anywhere from 1 to 80 years."

"That's not what I asked at all."

"Well, that's my answer."

I caught her shifting her weight while swimming, either swimming on her side or on her back. Either way, she couldn't seem to focus. Meanwhile, I stayed on course to where the island may be, fighting every instinct to turn around and dart back.

"Why do people swim, when they know they can't?"

"What, you've never tried walking? It's fun."

Midday sun fell upon our backs, and we began to breach with every breath we took, taking in the pleasant warmth against our blubber-deficient bodies.

"Who's the alpha male for humans?"

"I dunno. We've never seen him. But some claim he exists."

"That's funny."

"Tell me about it."

Complete, non-descript ocean around us on all sides. Water, water, more water, the sky above, the sea floor out of sight below. Why did it feel so familiar? How could this area be distinguished from the rest? It felt like I ate something rotten.

"Tell me about music."

"What about it?"

"Why do people like it? Is it for communication?"

"Just emotions and ideas, usually."

"I'd hear it on the docked ships sometimes. And once a year the whole island shook with music. It was horrible."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Not all of it's horrible."

My pace slowed as we began to approach shallower sea-bed. Strewn about the bottom were remnants of the hurricane. The sunken tire hosted a colony of crabs and coral. A large beach label sign shimmered, half buried in the sand. To imagine the winds and surges necessary to carry these objects this far out was incredible. This was it. We were in the general region of the island.

"So, was that voice-thing a trick to get laid? Cause you were trying way too-"

"Shh!"

I scanned the water around us. There was no mistaking it. The man's sunken ship lay on the sea floor a good mile and half away. Small collections of coral began to form on its stern. The port side took major damage upon hitting the sand, causing the starboard side to buckle and sag against the pressure of the ocean around it. Shards of glass lay strewn about, blown out by the sudden pressure shift. Rusted propellers sat beneath the coral, and above the white fiberglass material began to corrode and bubble up.

If the boat was here, that meant the island was five miles away. I wasn't ready.

"Spinner-"

"Wait, are we almost there?"

"We are, but-"

"Then come on!" She darted off, swimming on her side, but paused when I didn't follow.

"Gregory?"

"It's five miles. Five miles the other way. The seabed slopes up suddenly, and the island's nearby. Isthia should be there. If she isn't, come back to me."

Spinner turned around to face me. "And what if she's there?" Her words stung, like a bite.

"Then, you two can catch up. It's the right thing to do. I'd only get in the way."

She swam back to me at full speed. "Now, wait a minute. We travel all this way to see her, and you're sending me first? What's the deal?"

"Isthia'd be happy to see you. Can't say the same for me, though. It'd spoil the reunion."

"Hey! Don't make this about Isthia and me!"

I tried to speak firmly. "I'm doing you two a favor. If Isthia's mad at me then she won't get any pleasure from seeing you. I guarantee it."

"So, what? You're sending me ahead first to make sure its safe for you to come?"

"Spinner-"

"You screwed up, Gregory! You abandoned her! She's going to be upset! But that's between you two. Keep me out of this!"

She called my bluff. It was true. The thought of being in her embrace, seeing her again, touching her skin, it was all I wanted. But what if she didn't forgive me? What if she chased me away? I'd be alone once again. I couldn't stand to do it all over.

"Listen," Spinner's voice softened slightly. "I'll go first, okay? But you're going to be there with me. You and Isthia can fix whatever problems you have later. But don't wuss out on me! Stand up and face the consequences!"

I paused, trying to calculate what to say next. Spinner cut me off.

"No you don't. Don't try to talk yourself out of this one. You're coming with me even if I have to push you!"

And what do you know. She pretty much had to.

Up on land I'd read testimonies about people lost in the woods or, in my case, out at sea. They'd taken a few steps off the trail, hoping to catch a glimpse of a bird or wild animal or whatever. And they'd gone too far off. At first they tell themselves the trail's this way, or maybe that way, either way they'd better start hiking. Then night hits, and it's no problem. They brought camping gear, some food, a map. Better get some sleep and look for the trail in the morning. Once the sun's up they'd start hiking again, in the direction they think is right. Finally panic sets in. They tell themselves the trail's over this next ridge, there's a sign by the creek. And they're hiking faster than before, eager to get home. They're out of water. There's half a vitamin bar. Days pass, and they do what they can to survive. Build a lean-to, start a fire from scratch for the first time, shout for help. But I'd been interested in the rescues. At first there'd be a sense of denial, disbelief. That ranger's a hallucination. That helicopter didn't see me. These hikers are lost too. Then an overwhelming relief, a sign of hope, maybe happy tears.

The island appeared in the distance, but I could only feel the disbelief.

Spinner noticed the sloping of the seabed and began to pick up the pace, breaching with every breath. Meanwhile I lagged behind, scanning. And from around the tip of the island, she came. Isthia...she rode the wave exuberantly, pressing against them as they pressed against her. Ray of sunlight etched golden lattice lines across her back. Subtle flicks of her pectoral fins swished her through the oncoming surf with ease. What kind of monster would ever abandon her?

Spinner caught sight of her and bolted headlong her way, whistling her name and hearing Isthia return hers. A spark caught somewhere within Isthia and her casual flow turned to bursts of energy. Two sisters, separated for good, reunited in spectacular display. Spinner swam tight circles around her sister, nipping and butting all the while emitting a string of chirrups, whistles, squeals. Isthia, sluggish under the weight of her belly and surprise, swam in zigzagging patterns while chirping and butting as well. Fins swished across bodies, rostrums poked and prodded and produced teeth for nipping, and their voices blended into a merry chorus. But they didn't speak a single word, or any verbal greeting. They were wild animals, and this was all they needed.

She'd seen me. I knew it. The enthusiasm of their reunion died off quickly like I'd expected. But what surprised me in Isthia's expression was the overall benevolence. The edge wore off slightly. Once the sisters ended their ritual Isthia's eyes met with mine, and she swam over. Those eyes, her body, I wanted to take her all in. And then she spoke.

"Why are you here?"

Heartbreak. No other words to describe it. Pure, primal, scathing heartbreak.

"You went off. After I begged you not to."

Excuses failed me. Perhaps I knew better.

"You bit him. Badly. He almost died."

Almost?

I approached the island. In the surf up to his knees, wearing brine-stained shorts, stood the man. The features of his face appeared sunken, more defined. The saplings of hair along his chin grew into a forest across his face, lips, and sinking cheeks. His wet-sand colored hair grew out along the sides, bushy and fraying. All signs of pudge and sunburn disappeared. He appeared frail, almost gaunt, pale in the eyes but leathery tan across his entire body. I noticed his foot, possibly bandaged with the remnants of his shirt, wrapped tightly in the hood of his poncho to keep out sand and water. He stood like a tree, round in the middle and tapering on the extremities, standing with no visible life, graying and cracking and about to fall over dead.

And by now, I felt even worse.

Isthia came up to me. Behind us Spinner listed about, uncomfortable.

"He didn't eat," she began, "almost the entire time. He couldn't get to the fish before the birds could."

Several perched along his lean-to and the sleeping palm tree. Several more hovered in the sky.

"What happened, Gregory?" she eyed me painfully. "Why did you do it?"

Again, excuses failed me.

Slowly, I swam into the oncoming surf. A wave caught hold, and I didn't fight back. It pushed me, with every ebb and flow, towards the man. He observed this curiously, then nervously. No doubt he recognized the dolphin who bit off his heel.

But I rolled myself over, splaying out my flippers. Soon I'd been pushed to just within his reach. I kept my eyes off of him, trying to show I wasn't sizing him up. He took a step deeper into the surf, surveying me, trying to understand. Cautiously extending his hand, he kept both eyes trained on me, making sure it wasn't a trick.

And when he finally placed his hand between my flippers, he eased up. Began to rub. The calluses brushed off brine and seawater. My fins tensed reflexively, but he continued rubbing.

I stared at Isthia and Spinner. She appeared dumbfounded, almost indignant. Spinner bumped against her, interested in the sight. The man continued to rub. I had changed out at sea. I was a real dolphin now.

And I hoped with every inch of my being that she understood.