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The scent of horse was thick in the air, a harsh musk that clung to Jacob's nose as he pushed into the main doorway and blinked at the interior of the narrow stalls that were set to either side of the building. Once this place must have been some sort of tavern, or at least some sort inn from what he could see from the outside, but it had been changed hands many times over the years and had become more and more rundown with every changing of the hands. The last owner had not cared to keep it up as anything that could be usable such as a store front or tavern or inn, he had seen the true worth in the position of the building and the rather large back garden that had made it a valuable bit of property. Despite the prolific population of cars that had started to become noticeable in the street, there was still a call for horses and carriages.

Not that many people can actually afford them. Jacob sighed a little bit in envy as he tugged at his jacket and glanced around the place. Father would never allow me to have such a vehicle, they're too fast, too crass for me, but somehow it's perfectly alright for him to have several cars..

The owner made a livery stables that catered to higher end clients as the position of the building was relatively near the higher end sections of town where the wealthy made their homes when they came to London to attend their own business. The horses that he could see in the stalls were highly bred, their coats brushed to a sheen despite the fact that it was winter and they should have been shaggy. They weren't prime breeding stock, but definitely would have looked suitable in most wealthy families' stables. Likely they were horses that weren't worthy of producing a foal or they were getting older or were simply not the coloration that an owner wanted, but the man had at least ensured that his stock would be desired by the upper class that didn't desire, nor wished to stable horses in the city. Like himself.

His father had his very own motorcar, a lovely Ford that was polished with dark red and silver points and white leather interiors. He had hoped he would be given one of his own, but his constant attempts to hint and ask had been rebuffed as his father had refused to allow him to behave as one of the new moneyed youngsters from the US. They had already made a terrible name for themselves in the last few years as they had begun to be sent across the ocean to mature with their European relatives. He was forbidden from speaking with them or walking in their circles, he was old blood money, he was a part of a society that they could never become a part of and it was expected of him to behave properly. No fast cars, no late nights after the grand balls, no reason that he should be able to have any fun. Not even for Elana's coming out party would he be allowed to take the motorcar.

"Hello?" He lifted his head slightly and looked about the livery, striding past the stalls so he could shake off his annoyance at having to come down here and arrange his transport to the party.

The horses watched him mildly, a few snorting as he walked past them and tried to find a groom somewhere. This was his second time down here, the first time he had simply arranged to take a horse out for the day so he could enjoy riding through the town in a fit of loneliness for his mount in the country. Horses always made him feel as if he were home, they were a comforting presence that always made his problems feel lighter. Whenever he had been unhappy as a child he had run to the stable and slept in his pony's stall, comforted by her warm sounds and scent. He never felt more alive than he did with them and even now he immediately relaxed as he walked along the walkway and heard them moving around him.

He savored it, at least for a short time, but it quickly became apparent that the stable was empty except for the horses. It had been bustling and full of life the first time he'd come. He had been served swiftly and been given a fine high spirited chestnut for his run, but now the place was like a ghost town. Only a few stalls were empty so they certainly weren't busy, there should have at least been one or two grooms out to help customers if not the owner or his wife. He strode down past the stalls and to the back garden that held the carriages that were available for rent.

As he turned about, he heard a soft giggle coming from the garden, high pitched and feminine before it was quickly stifled. Had they left some child in charge of the place and they were playing a game? As he strode around the edges of the garden he heard a little gasp and soft whispered voices, the sounds undeniably coming from the small shed that was placed against one wall. Damned kids, he had a schedule to stick to thanks to his father, and he wasn't going to run late because children wanted to play a game together. He didn't give them any warning, he didn't call out again, he caught the loose handle of the door and yanked it open without preamble. And froze in place with his hand resting on the door and his eyes snapped open wide.

"Phillip." He breathed the name as a smile crossed his face as he stared at a red headed lad struggled to pull his tight riding pants up along his hips, his body hiding a girl who was far less dress than himself. "Oh my, is this what you've been doing lately? A stablemaid?"

"Jacob." Phillip stiffened slightly, his already pale features going dark red around the edges. "What are you doing here?!"

"Mmmm... nothing really." Jacob's grin grew a bit more as he watched his compatriot pull his suspenders over the wrinkled white silk shirt. The girl behind him was red faced as she wriggled into her rough skirts, not that he was really watching her. His eyes were on the lad who tried his best to keep her covered.

"I should be going." Phillip spoke stiffly, his back straightening up slightly as he gave Jacob another long look. "I beg your pardon, but I'm sure you will be serviced shortly."

"Serviced, I believe that I shall bow out of such service, our tastes are just a bit too... different." He fought not to linger on the words, he wouldn't, not here with the stable girl watching. Not when Phillip's hands were opening and closing, his entire body tense as if he were fighting the urge to say something more. "I will return later to discuss my needs here, and then, perhaps, I will call upon you discuss the party. The party you are unable to attend..."

~ ~ * ~ ~

Phillip ran his fingers through his hair and tried his best to make sure that it was slicked back properly so it wasn't flying in a wayward way or falling in his eyes in a way that would make his father say anything about him and how he was coming home. He tugged his shirt on straight and picked up his vest while Gianna wriggled into her dress with a smile still teasing the edges of her lips. She didn't seem concerned that they had been caught enjoying one another in the hay shed, but why should she? She was free enough with her passions that he had no problems whatsoever with letting others catch them in the midst of the act. It wasn't like she would suffer at all for it, unlike him, unlike the fact that Jacob had enough dirt in that single act to destroy him.

"Here, your hat." Gianna grinned as she offered him his hat. "You aren't fretting over that young man are you?"

"Of course I am." He snatched the hat back and put it on his head. "Do you think that I can do this without tarnishing my reputation? You were supposed to have your brother watching the stable!"

"Many young men have their fun with young women, you should hear some of my friends." Gianna tilted her head to one side. "He won't say anything, it would make him look just as bad to be spreading such rumors."

He growled in response and pulled his coat up over himself, shaking it out a little bit get rid of any straw that might incriminate him. It was true that Jacob couldn't say anything in broader circles without risking his own reputation, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a quiet word with people that mattered. He had already hinted as much when he had mentioned the party oh so snidely. Jacob had been trying for weeks to get the upper hand when it came to Elana, their friendly rivalry had slowly begun to turn into something far more serious. They had been friends for quite a long time after having met together at school when they were twelve, but the friendship had turned rocky near their graduation date and it had only gotten worse. Jacob had turned sullen and sharp tongued as soon as Phillip had begun courting young women earnestly and that's when it had fallen apart completely.

Jacob had begun to try and court the same girls, he had done it a dozen times or more, sly suggestions that got back to him about what was being said about him to women he fancied. He always seemed to know exactly what to say with that devil's tongue and his latest goal had been Elana. The young Spanish girl was quite beautiful, her skin just a shade darker than normal and with hair as black as a raven wing. He had been stricken the moment he had first set eyes on the girl, and that's when his former friend had struck. This time, however, Phillip wasn't going to bow out for the sake of friendship. He wasn't going to allow himself to be lured by Jacob's gentle words about loyalty and friendship. That lad had no loyalty, he had no friendship, he was actively trying to destroy everything that Jacob was trying to build for himself.

He never even stays with the girls he's won, he simply moves on. Phillip gave his head a shake and sighed. He then acts like I'm doing something monstrous for relieving my frustrations, as if he is too good for such things!

"Gianna, I must be off. Do tell me when Jacob comes what his arrangements are, won't you? You did recognize him?" He turned towards the plump stable girl and gave her a small smile. "I believe that he and I have a misunderstanding we really must work out together."

"Of course, but you might want to rethink that. Nothing good can come of poking him, he might just risk his reputation so he can strike back." Gianna tilted her head just a little with her warning, but he gave her a soft smile and kissed the back of her hand.

He wasn't going to poke him about what he'd seen, he wasn't going to confront Jacob and plead for him to forgive and forget. He was done playing this game, he was done being thrown as second best to someone he had once thought of as a friend. He had been pushed beyond the limits of decent behavior and he was going to put an end to it once and for all. He left the livery stable with a soft sigh and tugged his hat on straight. His father would beat him bloody if he ever found out, but a small touch of magic at this point would mean future grandchildren. Surely the old bastard could understand that simply enough if he found out.

He had always been amazed at the way Jacob had become a part of society from his humble beginnings. He had truly inducted himself into society seamlessly, a fact that his own father took credit for. He'd never seen the other boy show even the faintest glimmer of knowing what he truly was, who he truly was. It was time to make him remember. His family would be told that the experiment had failed, it would be a shame, but they had always known that this might happen one day. That was the price for being so desperate for an heir. Whatever Jacob might have been was still there, hiding, covered by magic that made him into what his 'parents' had so desired.

"I was thinking, my dear, you have been exceedingly generous to me. It is time I return the favor." Phillip smiled to himself as he spoke.

~ ~ * ~ ~

Thick snow wafted down from the grey overcast skies, the fat flakes landed over the warm engine of the motorcar while Jacob tucked his hands more securely into his gloves and tried not to show his discomfort. It was at least out of the wind back behind the glass windows, unlike the shivering man who was driving. His father had unthawed enough to allow him the use of the car for his errands, one of which was finally talking to the livery stable about a carriage for Elana's party. Or rather a sleigh, the thick falling snow would make it a perfect evening to boast a sleigh. He wanted to make an impression, he needed to make one, her attention had been gliding more and more towards Phillip in the past few weeks and he couldn't tolerate it. He refused to watch her turn her doe soft eyes towards the lad and win him over. It grated against him to imagine any girl winning over Phillip before he had a chance to sort out his own feelings about the lad.

He had known Phillip for so long and through it all he had felt attracted to the other lad. The shock of red hair, the deep green eyes, the way that he was always so sure and confident about himself and everything else in his world. He'd never known anyone that seemed so supremely comfortable in their life, or perhaps it was simply because Jacob had spent most of his life confused and unsure of himself. Where other lads had grown up and spoke knowledgably of the fairer sex, he had never seen the appeal of them. He'd never looked at them and felt moved to passion, though they were pretty enough in their own way. He had never thought of them with the need and heat that his friends obviously felt when they looked at them, not even to the discreet maids and servants that batted their eyes at him.

He only had eyes for Phillip. An uncomfortable realization that had made him unsure on how to proceed. He couldn't simply talk to his friend about it without risking the words being taken the wrong way and getting out to the rest of society. He tried to keep himself withdrawn, he tried to attach those misplaced affections towards the boys on the street that would be more than happy to enjoy him for a time, but it didn't work. It was always those merry green eyes that he looked at, the sharp wit and the lively tongue. It had started as an attraction, but had grown to an obsession as he watched his childhood friend begin his own courting with an eye to taking a wife. A wife!! The look of adoration in his eyes when he began courting was too much for him to bear. And that's how he had started this horrible game.

He was expected to seduce women, his father had always let him know that his duty was to find a proper lady and get an heir, so he did seduce them. He seduced the ones that Phillip tried for, he took them away, unable to imagine watching the lad marry and be taken from him forever. It was a sick game, he could even admit it, but he couldn't just allow Phillip to become engaged, married, all without even letting him know how he felt. Jacob felt nearly sick to his stomach any time he imagined that fateful day, but for now he prevented it, until he could get his courage up. Elana was his newest mark, and one that he refused to lose, once he had drawn Phillip away he would talk to him. He would try to explain himself, he would do his best to win over the boy he had always known. He would do what he had to do, after tonight.

"Sir? The livery stable." The driver spoke primly, without even shivering as he did so, practice and hours spent behind the wheel had trained him to hide his discomfort. "The Master requires my return so you will arrange for a cab for your return."

Jacob flinched in annoyance, but stepped out as his door was opened, he knew that his luck was too good to last for long. One day he would own his own motorcar, he would be able to drive himself with freedom instead of relying on cabs and his father's generosity. For now, he dusted off his coat and stepped up to the door of the livery and heard the horse's restlessly whickering. He already had his day planned out, he'd pick out his team today to ensure that he had the best looking pair for the evening and he could also fit in a ride in the park. Elana would be there this afternoon, enjoying the first snowfall of the year and he would just happen to ride by her. He had slowly been cultivating her, hinting at his plans for her coming out party. It kept her from watching Phillip and what's all that mattered, and on the night of the party he would secure her affections with a sleigh ride beneath the moon. A quiet romance that he knew would appeal to her. Phillip had only destroyed his own chances with his affair with the stable maid.

His visit to the livery stable was uneventful compared to his last visit, a young dirty looking lad came to greet him and showed him the carriage horses they had available. In particular the ones that would tolerate belled harnesses to pull a sleigh. He chose a set of matched greys that were so pale they were nearly white save for their dark muzzles, the perfect pair for a snowy sleigh ride with Elana. It was easier to pick out a horse that he could take out for the day, a lovely little bay mare that had a high spirited head and curved neck that was arched neatly. She showed enough energy to make him eager to take her out with her paces through the park where he knew he could impress Elana. He didn't even bother giving a glance to the maid that had all but ensured his chances for the party, not even as he passed her on his way out of the stable.

~ ~ * ~ ~

"I don't suppose you're trying to visit the lady even before her party, Jacob." The sharp edged voice brought Jacob up short as his rented mare gave her head a slight toss. "I believe her father has forbidden such contact."

The park was nearly empty as the snow continued to fall down in fat fluffy flakes until several inches had cover the grass. Several of the park workers were out clipping the pine trees so that the evergreen boughs could be worked into wreaths for the city as the Christmas season loomed, red bows were already being wrapped round lamp posts, it was utterly lovely. The people that did gather in the mark were far and few between, but his eyes had been on two girls that were giggling as they tucked their hands into thick fur muffs and watched the snowfall with cold reddened cheeks. At least until a voice had shocked him out of watching them and he turned the little mare about to find a figure watching him with hostile green eyes.

"Phillip, imagine you out here." Jacob grinned slightly, putting a mocking edge to his voice even as his heart skipped a beat at the tousled hair and the sensuous mouth that was pulled into a frown. He controlled himself, reining himself back. "I was surprised to see your lady friend so free in the stable, I should have thought that you would have been entertaining her."

"You won't let that go will you." Phillip's features darkened slightly, flushing along the edges of his cheeks with his embarrassment. "You should not be here either, not when you know how inappropriate it is."

"Inappropriate? To see a pair of ladies unaccompanied and offer them an escort safely home?" Jacob tilted his head to one side, trying to put innocence into the gesture, but Phillip knew him better than that, knew his intentions.

"Not this time." The red headed lad stepped forward and startled the mare as he reached out to catch Jacob's hands firmly. "I'm done losing to you."

Jacob started to protest, but he felt a surge of shock and excitement as the other lad moved up and crowded against the bay's side. He didn't ask for permission as one of the other boy's feet set into the stirrup briefly before suddenly hauling upwards to slip into the saddle behind him. The arms slipped around his waist as the mare let out a startled noise, bucking her hips upwards and turning about at the unfamiliar sensation of two people in the saddle. Jacob had just enough sense to pull her reins and tuck her head down, letting her step about in a circle as Phillip's warm body pressed behind him, the arms around his waist before his hands reached down to take control of the reins. It happened faster than an eye blink, faster than he could react, faster than he could protest.

"Let's go, we have much to discuss you and I." Phillip hissed into Jacob's ear, a tickling of breath that sent a tremor down his spine and a surge of heat through his body.

He didn't even protest as the mare stepped out from the nudging of her second rider, he was too busy feeling the press of the body against him, the sensuous curve of the fingers that wrapped along his own hands to guide the reins. There was a warm breath that tickled the back of his neck making him tense up a little bit, but not in anger or annoyance or affront. He wanted that sensation, the warm body caressing along his back, the strong legs that were pressed right behind his own. His cheeks turned a dark red, the heat running down the line of his neck as he stopped himself from saying anything as the little mare smartly turned and made her way along the streets of London. No one gave them more than a curious glance at seeing the pair of them riding double, why should they?

"Where are we going?" He forced the words out, but they sounded choked as he managed to finally speak, the mare smartly trotting past the livery stable with no sign of being reined in.

"To my father's little cottage, it will be more private there. You know that no one of any real importance goes there in the winter." The words sent another thrill through him, one that he tried to cover up before he closed his mouth. Anything he said at this point would just humiliate him.

Had Phillip finally figured out why he was acting the way he was? Had he noticed the way that Jacob looked at him when he didn't think he was being watched? Had he sorted out why he was drawn to Elana? He had no intention of courting a girl to take a bride, he had only wanted to ensure that the object of his affection and love didn't fall in love before he had a chance. And now he could feel that strong chest pressed against him, the caress of the hands that wrapped around his own and made him let out a trembling breath. Seamus' cottage was more like an old beaten down manor house that most of the young men used to hold raucous parties, especially the new money. It had a reputation for decadence outside of the prevue of their families.

There was only one reason that Phillip would be taking him there, especially like this, so intimately close and the world surrounded with the warmth of his cologne and the sweet scent of horse. They were finally going to talk honestly, openly, they would come together in a heated embrace. If he was going to such pains to go to such a spot, it was surely because he didn't want the world to know his secret. That was a secret that Jacob could keep for him, he was well versed in hiding that part of his life and if he had a lover it would be worth everything simply to keep them both safe, secret, hidden away where no one could find them.

As the rode he became aware of a soft humming in his ear, a gentle tune that he couldn't quite place, but sounded oddly familiar as the arms tightened along either side of him. It was a soft song, one that made his eyes start to lid slightly and his entire body relax under the effects of it. It was a song, a simple song, a beautiful song without words, only music that rose up and fell, lifted and dropped in time with the hooves beneath them. The warm scent of his friend's cologne was like the sweetest drug, something that he had wanted near him for so long. He could see it all in his mind's eye now, they would go the cottage and perhaps Phillip would demand to know why he had done what he had done. Perhaps he would start out fiery and angry so that Jacob could announce that he had done it all for love of him.

Or would it be tender? A trembling hand to touch his cheek and guide his head back so that their lips could meet for the first time in a warm brush of skin on skin, the hands caressing his back to hold him tight. That would be just as sweet as fire would be, perhaps even more so. Or perhaps he would feel the warmth surrounding him, the rich scent of familiarity filling his nostrils as he felt warm sleek bodies pushed in close. The sound of great lungs breathing in the frosty air and the enticing knowledge that one of their scents had started to change. The mares so close to him in exchange for his protection as long as they bore his young, as long as they followed him when he led, as long as they...

Jacob jerked his head and opened his eyes, he hadn't even been aware that he had been nodding off until they opened and he heard the humming still in his ears as they crossed through alleys. Mares? Horses? He blinked a few times and gave his head a shake, he was being lured into falling asleep by the gentle rocking of the horse and the warmth against him. He didn't want to sleep, he wanted to turn around and claim that sensuous mouth with his own. He wanted to taste his lover for the first time, feel the body react to him and harden along the curve of his ass. He wanted the luxurious tail to flag up high in the air like a banner, baring the plump winking folds between the elegant haunches. This was all a dance, an act where he courted and slowly lured her closer, letting that scent become a part of him. Sister, daughter, mother, stranger, it didn't matter to him, this was his mare.

This time he didn't snap himself awake, he tore his thoughts away with a sense of confusion and dizziness. He blinked a few times and leaned away from the warmth on his back, but Phillip pushed forward and suddenly drove his heels into the mare's sides so that she leapt forward. He didn't have time to brace himself, he had been off balance by the strange thoughts and now he was pinned forward with the hard cantle of the saddle nearly bruising against his stomach. And still Phillip hummed, the vibrations seemed to go straight through him as the mare ran forward. Her hooves hit the hard ground steadily, hammering out a rhythm that sent a shiver down his spine and made him let out a protesting cry.

The rapid strikes of the hooves, he could feel the mare's body take the impact as she flew into a gallop, never minding that she bore two riders she seemed a creature of energy and fire. The warm breath against his neck sent the vibrating hum through his body, the song fading away into one drawn out knot as he squeezed his eyes shut. The sound rolled through his mind, plunging him under the weight of it, sending him down deeper and further while he struggled to shove it away. The beating of the hooves, he knew that sound, he had always known that sound. His own hands jerked slightly as memories started to blossom from deep within his mind.

Blossom? No! They clawed out, they were torn from the deepest center of his mind as if they had always been buried there. The field, thick and heavy with grass and the warm presence of his dam nearby as he slept at her hooves. How had he forgotten that? He could recall it all, the way that she nuzzled him gently with the soft velvet muzzle, her tongue soothing him when he grew frightened. NO! His mother had been tall and elegant, her hand firm around his own, but her voice gentle as she told him to straighten up at her side when he was presented. Her eyes had been the most lovely warm brown, like honey in the sunlight. NO! He had grown running across the meadow, long legs that were so thin, but carried him so fast as he chased after his dam and sidled beside her, bumping his nose beneath her belly.

"STOP!" He shouted the word, not sure if he meant the horse or his would be lover, but he yelled it anyway.

The hooves ran onwards, leaving the hard stones of the streets behind so that she went charging through the snow. He had known the snow, the first time he had been taken out without his mother it had snowed. He had snorted and pawed, shaken his head and pranced backwards to try and get away because it had been so startling. NO! Damnit, that wasn't a real memory, he had seen snow with his sister and they had played in it until they were nearly frozen and their father had come to sweep them up. The memories were wrong, they were all wrong, and they couldn't be coming from inside of his mind. This wasn't right at all! They were all twisted about.

"Easy, easy..." Phillip murmured against Jacob's neck, but not to him, to the mare who pranced and tossed her head. Her sides were steaming with sweat as she was drawn back into a slow walk, blowing out hot puffs.

"What are you doing?" Jacob squeezed the words out as his mind swirled in circles, spinning with tumbling memories that weren't his own. It was like a funnel had poured the wrong sorts of memories into his mind and he had no idea how to combat them.

"Correcting a mistake." Phillip moved behind him, sliding from the saddle, but also reached up to grab the collar of Jacob's shirt and gave him a rough yank to drag him down. "Don't look so shocked, surely you didn't expect me to allow you to have Elana."

Jacob hit the snow hard enough that he let out a yelp of pain, the sting of the cold ice against his hands made him jerk backwards as the little bay mare let out a nervous whicker and started to prance away. Phillip must have caught her, because she didn't go far at all, instead she remained snorting nearby as he tried to lunge up to all fours again, but the world was dizzy. He was on all fours, that was correct, he felt good on all fours, but he knew that was wrong. With a lunge he stood up and swayed in place as Phillip gave him a long look, those sensuous lips curved up in a smile before he gave a little tug to coax the mare into a walk. She fidgeted in response, snorting unhappily at the strange day she was having with the humans, but the sight of a barn soon had her following willingly enough.

Jacob was left shaking in the snow, the flakes slipped down along the back of his neck and trailed towards his shoulders in cold streaks that made him tremble a bit harder, his teeth clattering together constantly while he tried to hunch his head down to keep himself warm. His mind felt all wrong, it was stuffed full of things that he didn't quite understand and couldn't puzzle out. He felt as if he were going to be sick or pass out, he wanted to rail at Phillip, to yell and demand an explanation, but he couldn't get himself to manage so simple a thing. Instead, he felt a stab of panic as man and horse left him in the field, he didn't want them to go, no matter how scared he was, he wanted them to come back.

With a groan he stumbled after them, his feet feeling numb as a low hum filled his mind, not his ears. It was tuneless, but it spread deeper with wide searching fingers that stroked his thoughts. It was like some part deep inside of him had been torn open, it hurt, even thinking of where it was hurt, but that didn't stop the memories from slipping over his own. He wanted to be near that mare, he had to be near her, alone he was in danger out here. He would feel more relaxed there, he wanted to be relaxed, he wanted to be able to know that he was being taken care of even through his confused anger at his long time friend. Phillip didn't even look back at him, he just continued to walk until he could force open an old stall door and gave a gesture with one hand to send the mare trotting through out of the wind.

"Come now, Cirrus, you don't wish to stay out here for long." Phillip murmured softly, and Jacob didn't care what he was called, he didn't want to lose sight of the mare. Panic struck him as she slipped out of view and he went after her, nearly falling as he did so.

His balance was off, he couldn't get his legs beneath him the way that he knew they should be. He couldn't even figure out how they were supposed to be beneath him. One part of his mind told him they were perfectly alright as they were, the other part was off balance and ready to topple over. In answer to the feeling he caught ahold of a stall door and held himself up, sweat breaking out along his brow as Phillip moved quietly past him and took the mare's reins again and led her towards a stall. Jacob could only tremble, his breathing strained as everything was tilted all out of control, he didn't understand what was going on or why his friend was ignoring him. There was no worried query as to why he was behaving so, no questions, nothing except a small smile along the edges of his lips as the mare was turned out in a loose box and the gear started to be pulled off.

"Strange, isn't it? You were born in this barn, my Father himself rubbed you dry as you tried to heave up onto all fours. I remember how proud he was of you, sired out of the legendary Cumulus, from the line of Pegasus. Champions one and all." Phillip murmured to him, almost like he was talking to himself , while he peeled the saddle from the mare and began to wipe her down.

"The hell you say?" It cost Jacob to get those words out, they were croaked as he dizzyingly looked around the barn. It was comforting, small and homey, the scents were of the mare, mostly, but that was something that teased his memories as well. "Victoria was my mother, you damned son of a dog. What did you do to me? Drugs? Something worse?"

"No, just unplugged what was pent up." Phillip spared him a look as he pulled the bridle off the mare and hung it up on a peg. "You look so confused, dazed even. Let me help you, Cirrus. We go back a long way you and I, longer than you could imagine."

"No, get away!" He stumbled backwards, but his legs felt so odd. Stubby and weak as he fell back against the steps of the hayloft and began to squirm backwards.

"Get away? No, I really don't think so." The last words came in a rush of heat as Phillip approached him and caught beneath his chin. "Let's get you sorted, old boy, can't have you sleeping all night tacked up."

"NNF!" Jacob tried to say something in response, but the fingers pushed his lips together to stop him. He wasn't tacked up.

He wanted to struggle and pull away, but the commanding voice and touch seemed to simply accept that he would obey. A soothing mastery that made him tremble in place as he stood up and swayed back and forth, his eyes flashing open wide to show an edge of white as he was forced to step forward. He moved with the softness of his would-be lover's voice encouraging him. He walked past the stall where the mare was greedily tearing at some hay, looking completely at home as he was led towards a larger, grander stall. Once it must have been truly elegant, it still showed the elegance in the hand carved decorations along either side of the stall and the lovingly polished metal handle that was in the shape of an elongated horse. It was into this stall that he was drawn in step by shaking step.

His memories rolled again, blurring the line as he recalled the first time his father had allowed him to ride a horse of his own. He had come into the stall much like this, so excited he had been vibrating as the fat pony had looked at him mildly and snuffled. To him that pony had looked like a knight's charger and he had been eager to cup against either side of the cheeks and felt the well groomed fur. No, that's not what happened, he had been scared of the big wide world as his mother had been led out and an awful strange thing had been wrapped around his head and someone had tugged him forward. Step after step he had walked forward, not wanting to leave the comfortable stall that had been his world.

He tried to throw the memory away, he tried to kick and fight it, trying to recall the memory as it should have been. His first pony, that's the first time he'd been around a stall such as this, not whatever was being thrown into his mind. As he struggled warm gentle hands stroked him, caressing along the back of his neck and trailing over the sweep of his cheeks. Those strokes trailed towards his neck before he felt his coat being pulled off. The gentle caress trailed towards the sweep of his haunches, no not haunches, his hips, the fingers kneaded lightly and pulled along the looseness of his shirt. He felt the fingers moving around the curve of his hips and towards his chest and lifted higher up in the air. He felt a shiver running down his spine as it was peeled off.

"That's right, Cirrus, nothing to fear here," Phillip murmured softly as the shirt was set aside and he turned his head slightly. It was familiar and terrifying all at once, he knew this was wrong. "Easy, easy..."

"This is wrong, what are you doing?" The words came out in a dragging voice, torn from his lips while the hands moved towards his waist.

"Didn't you always want this? In that secret heart of hearts, isn't this always what you wanted?" The soft murmured words made him jerk backwards as the fingers hooked just beneath the line of his pants.

That much was true, he had wanted this, he had wanted it for so long to feel those elegant fingers working beneath his pants, but it was still wrong. He stumbled backwards, his hands jerking down as another roll of strange memories tried to run through him. It was like another side of him was waking up and trying to push his rational mind away so that he moved slower. The hands drew back as he stumbled towards the opening of the stall, his body trembling in the relatively cool air of the barn. He needed to get out of here, he wasn't that far from the city, he could get out of here before it became any worse. His legs trembled in place as he sucked in a breath, gasping as he fell against the stall door and nearly went down.

Hands moved behind him, the fingers slipped along his bare shoulders and trailed up towards the edge of his jaws as he tried to fumble for the latch. For a moment he felt Phillip pressed against his back and a soft breath tickled against the back of his neck. It was so warm in the chill air, he nearly went still, but that was before a brush of soft supple leather ran along the spread of his chest. The edges of it pulled higher up in the air as he dropped his head and sucked down a gasping breath. A halter, not a common rough one made of rope or even hard leather, but one made of sensual dark leather that had been well oiled and worked so that it was as soft as it brushed up along the underside of his chin. The cool buckles ran along his cheeks while his head jerked higher up in the air.

"I've wanted to reunite you with this halter for months now." The edges of the head band pulled up along his forehead, sending a jolt through him.

The leather worked along the underside of his jawline, pulling tightly and snugly while the rest of the nose band hung down in front of his lips as there was a jolt that hit through him. It was like the time he had shocked himself, electricity spiked through him and had him stumbling backwards, throwing Phillip off him. The weight was thrown to one side as he stumbled backwards through the hay, suddenly a flush of heat rolling through him. He knew the feel of the leather, it was eerie how well he knew it, especially as the fingers moved to cup against either side of his cheeks. The gentle touch that pulled him forward, he knew that sensation, he had known it before when he had been led with a halter on his head. No! That wasn't right!

Damnit, he's confusing me, he's drugged me somehow. Jacob gulped down a breath, his throat bobbing as his legs splayed open to try and brace himself.

"Cirrus... There you are..." The words whispered out while his head was lifted up. "I see you Cirrus, this is wrong, isn't it?"

"Yes! I will tell my Father, I will tell society how you-" He started to pull back again, before a tug forward brought him nearly against the slender youth.

"Cirrus! There you are, so hampered down.." Phillip murmured again and Jacob felt a sudden jolt rock through him. Some part of him was pricking his ears upwards to hear his name. "Come Cirrus, this isn't you, you know this is wrong."

He knew this was wrong, it was all wrong, of that he agreed with Phillip. And in that agreement something surged beneath him, yes this was wrong, his body was wrong and soft and too weak. The heat flushed through his body, running down along the line of his back as he felt a pulsing growing in his chest, the beat of his heart thick and steady. There was a crack and his hips suddenly started to shift and slide, his pants started to grow tighter, biting around his waist as he shuddered and tried to stumble towards the door again. His legs weren't working right, his pants were growing tighter and clinging to him, growing more uncomfortable as he could feel every seam catching against him and digging against his skin in the most uncomfortable fashion possible.

He reached out with his hands to try and shove Phillip away, but as they lifted up he watched his fingers pulling together. The nails were growing over one another, the two middle fingers sealing as they grew larger by the moment and thicker. The nails on his thumbs were growing as well as his arms began to change as well, his arms pulled forward and grew larger as well, the bone thickening rapidly. There was a pop along his hips as the pants tore with a harsh sound, ripping the seams open and loosening along his ass as he was thrown forward, his weight was all wrong. His chest was swelling opening, barreling open and helping to drag him down. His thickening nails scrabbled against the thick straw on the ground, while Phillip crouched down.

"Come out, Cirrus, come see me... remember what you are, forget that silly human mind." Phillip's hands reached down and ran along his hips, dragging and pulling to ball up the fabric so it slid down his ass.

"Not Cirrus." Jacob gasped out wildly, his eyes squeezing shut as he grew larger, he could feel the muscles growing and thickening rapidly as there was another popping noise.

His shoulders weren't right, his arms felt constrained from their normal free movement as he struggled to get back up. Above him, Phillip purred the name Cirrus over and over again, calling to him as he struggled to throw away the changes that were overtaking him. The memories rippled, an uneasy pond where things merged together all wrong. He remembered being led to his home, his father waiting for him, but he was too tall and he was being ridden by a light person on his back. He had pranced and tossed his head up high in the air as his father looked him over critically. No! That had never happened, his father had looked at him while riding his pony. That was the right memory.

He opened his lips and cried out, a high pitched whinny burst from his throat as a sharp stabbing pain formed along the bridge of his muzzle, his eyes began to water as he jerked his head backwards. He kicked with his hind legs while he heard the little mare answer, a high pitched call that made some part of him surge forward. His eyes blurred and shifted while his nose began to push outwards, growing thicker and heaver as his lips hung loose and heavy on his head. Another shudder rocked him, his body shaking as he felt as if he were burning alive with a fever, and the strange name was called out again, mocking him, like a childhood game.

The halter began to tighten along the edge of his jaw, biting painfully as the looseness of the nose band suddenly draped over his nose. He tried to focus his eyes, but they were changing too much, they weren't facing the right direction and were all wrong. He cried out again, a high wild cry as the band beneath his jaw was adjusted to fit his changing features and he was drawn in close to the man he would have loved. The fingers spread and stroked right along the line of his cheek and rubbed towards the back of his ears. Ears that twitched and jerked in place, pulling back flat.

"My lovely Cirrus, welcome home." Phillip murmured into one of his ears, while Jacob tried to latch onto a protest, his body gleaming with sweat as he trembled on the ground. His eyes refocusing, but they didn't look over his normal nose, they looked over a broad pale grey muzzle that darkened towards the tip. A horse's nose, he had a horse's nose!!

~ ~ * ~ ~

Jacob spent a night in a stall on four hooves that he should have never possessed, large heavy things that felt strange and awkward at the ends of his legs. His head drooped down nearly to his knees while he looked down at a still trough of water that reflected a long equine face and ears that he should have never possessed. His pants lay torn in the corner, thrown apart while he ignored them and concentrated on whatever had been done to make him this way. Large eyes looked back up at him, a head that would have fit neatly in any stable, the broadness of his forehead made him look intelligent and a long thick neck that would have been the envy to any stallion. He was a horse, inescapably a horse.

That wasn't the worst of it, the worst of it was that his mind and memories felt filled with holes that he couldn't fill in, or rather, he as a human couldn't fill in. There was something other than human that lurked beneath his mind, and that was what made the pieces tumble home. He couldn't remember his first steps, but the equine part of his mind knew them, he had been damp and cold, and the large looming form of his mother had licked and coaxed him up onto all fours. He couldn't recall the first time he had eaten solid foods, but part of him recalled the shock of something sweet and crunchy being given to him from a smooth hand. Those were the memories that he was left with, chasing each other in circles as he was forced to remain standing miserably in one place beside a mare who was disturbingly interesting to him.

Phillip must have stayed in the cottage, he certainly hadn't taken the rented mare home to her own stable. He arrived back down in the barn around daybreak, his lips upturned in a bit of a smile and smelling of freshly cooked bacon and fruit that made Jacob's stomach clench painfully in protest of his own empty one. He had been left with hay and some grain, and neither had seemed appetizing to his refined senses, so the young lad who walked into the room made him snuffle in interest and step towards the stall door. His hooves were strange to walk on, they felt so heavy that he could barely get them to lift up properly, but at the same time they still felt more secure than his own two legs had felt.

"There now, Cirrus, are you ready to relearn a bit?" Phillip smiled at him, reaching up to pick up a dark bit of lead rope. "I can't have you loafing about here with this lady here."

I don't want to be loafing around with that mare! Jacob pinned his ears back angrily and glared at his one time friend, fighting not to look at the stall next to him.

Phillip didn't even bother to look abashed at the glare aimed at him, instead he stepped into the stall, neatly shoving Jacob backwards a few steps before the lead was clipped firmly in place just beneath his chin. He gave an angry shake of his head, only to have the lead tug down firmly, forcing his large head to droop down towards his knees where he couldn't do much more than hold still. He rumbled unhappily to himself, flaring his nostrils as the young man gripped the lead just beneath his chin and gave a pull so that he was forced to step out of the stall.

He would have lunged forward, but it was impossible to navigate on the strange heavy hooves that he walked forward on. He snorted unhappily and gave a toss of his head to jerk up higher in the air, his nostrils flared open wide as the lead forced him step by step out of the stall. He lashed his tail back and forth behind him, humiliated to feel the hairs barely hitting up against his upper ass cheeks. His tail was docked short behind him, he had seen that last night, it was barely six inches long with the long hairs going down just a little bit lower, but not by much. He folded his ears miserably against his head, glaring at his tormentor who led him past the stabled mare and out towards the front door of the barn. He was getting out of here, that's all that mattered.

"Easy, old son, we'll get you tacked up in no time. We have to return that mare of yours don't we?" Phillip reached up and rubbed over his large nose as he flinched and gave a jerk of his head backwards, he wasn't going to get tacked up! He wasn't a horse. "Ahh still thinking you're Jacob are you?"

Of course I'm Jacob! How dare he treat me like this! The former man gave a short jerk of his head as the lead was fastened up to a small ring set high in the door. It purposefully kept his head up as he was given less than two inches of slack.

"Your father paid quite a bit to have a son, not quite the son he wanted, but we assured him you'd be an obedient and proper heir. Or at least my father did." The lad moved around him with a light slap against the haunches so he crowded forward. "Unfortunately you weren't what your father wanted, and I couldn't take you going after Elana. But don't worry, Jacob is just a myth, a mask, you know who you are beneath that. Cirrus, you know."

He shivered at the name Cirrus, a quiver running over him that made his nostrils flare open wide, gasping in a breath. He didn't want to hear that word, he didn't even want to consider it, he pulled his ears flat back and barely bucked when a sudden heavy pile of leather was thrown over his back and spread over his sides with a rattling of metal that made him twitch. Phillip was comfortable with the harness, his clever hands pulling it over his body and aligning the straps while Jacob kept his ears flat back and struggled to ignore the indignity. His father hadn't bought him! Why on earth would anyone want to turn a horse into a man?! Phillip was insane, he was doing this to try and prove a point of some sort and he wasn't about to rise to the bait. He had grown up with an old and proud heritage and name, not in some dusty stall.

He held onto those thoughts, even as the straps were pulled beneath his belly and cinched tight, pinching slightly before they were loosened to ensure that they were comfortable. His short humiliating tail was pushed up and through a crupper, the hard leather bit beneath the underside of his tail and made him jerk forward a few steps as it was securely forced high in the air and then allowed to drop down between his haunches. He turned his head, twisting the lead rope around so he could see the harness as it was pulled higher along his shoulder and loose buckles fell down along the edges of his shoulders making him twitch his skin.

It was dark black and every bit of metal was polished until it glittered in the light, obviously of high quality and costly as it was settled a bit more firmly over him. The leather wasn't hard or sharp, in fact, it was padded where most of the pressure from pulling would draw the straps down tight, the softness a strange sensation on his naked coat. When the lead was unclipped he turned his head all the way about to look at the black leather that set off the pale coloration of his coat and the silver that made him look as if he were gleaming. His ears flicked up slightly and he shifted on his hooves as he ran a critical eye over his large body. He wasn't a light horse, there were no lean muscles or long legs meant to leap over fences in a hunt. He was powerful, strong, muscled.

He arched his neck as he watched the muscles rippling along his haunches, his heavy legs shifting beneath him with a dull thudding sound when he pricked his ears up higher in the air. His hooves were large, the size of plates as he lifted and dropped them, dark black beneath the darker grey stockings that ran from his knees down. There was no dirty fall of hair matted and tangled, they were smooth so that every muscle, every movement could be seen. He felt a dizzying rush of familiarity at the sight, and pride, he was a draft horse of breeding. Not for a plow, not for hauling in the traces, he was bred for the elite and noble, a knight's stallion, a breed of the highest order tested throughout time.

He barely twitched as the heavy leather collar was pushed over his head and down his neck, turning as it went and settled heavily along the base of his neck. A soft voice murmured to him as Phillip stepped forward to lean in close so that the clips could be fastened in place one after another. He pushed forward and snorted as he felt the human stumbling backwards from the press of his chest. There was a playful slap to his shoulder as he gave his head a shake and tried to recall why he had been fidgeting and why he had wanted his head free. His nostrils flared a little and he turned his head down to nose against the man, he was almost familiar in his own way, almost familiar in the way that he moved his long hands down to stroke over the thick heavy neck in a comforting way.

"'Eya Cirrus, that's right, my fine fellow." The voice whispered in his ear softly, the warm murmur almost tender as the hand reached down to grip beneath the edge of his halter.

He struggled to remember what he had been trying to hold onto, his mind felt strangely heavy as more leather straps were pulled up and over his head. They slid along the bridge of his muzzle as a set of dark squares slipped to either side of his eyes, blocking part of his vision as thin bands of leather were pushed up and over his ears, the buckles brushed along his cheeks while he snorted nervously. His head was pulled up into the air as the bridle was buckled onto him and a heavy cold bar was pushed right up against his lips and nudged so they slipped open.

Before he could puzzle out what was going on, a thumb hooked between his lips and shoved into the gape of his teeth to give a tug to force his muzzle open. The cold metal bar slipped over his tongue, the long edges of the ends of the bit pressed against either side of his lower jaw as he gave a sudden jerk into the air. He let out a short angry squeal . A bit! Phillip was shoving a bit into his mouth! Jacob shrugged off the languid heaviness that had threatened to roll over his mind and instead pushed roughly against the bit that pinned his tongue down. He clattered it against his teeth roughly in an effort to get it out, the taste of it foul as the slender fingers tugged and pulled, buckling the bridle onto him securely.

A bridle?! How dare he?! Jacob let out a muffled angry squeal, rearing backwards as his former friend gripped the edges of the reins and gave a sudden yank down to force him back to all fours.

"Let's go, Cirrus, you've lazed about enough. You were bred to work and work you shall." The hand gripped the reins, clutching them tightly as he glared from partially blinded eyes. "Father should have known that you would revert back to this, he always said he was surprised you lasted as long as you did as a human."

I am a human! I always will be a human!

~ ~ * ~ ~

I am human.... I am human... I am human.. The words were a mantra, spoken with every lift of his hooves and drop down as they hit the ground.

The snow crunched beneath plate sized hooves as Jacob dropped his head and felt a short snap against his powerful haunches. The whip didn't sting, but it was a touch that promised something worse as he threw his weight against the collar that pressed around his neck. The snow fell down along his back, melting immediately as his skin heated up and ran wetly along his sides. His nostrils flared open wide, sending out frosted breath on the air as he lowered his head and threw his weight forward a bit more firmly, hating himself as he did so. He wanted nothing more than to lock his legs in place and refuse to move, but he had already found that the quirt could be painful when he disobeyed. He couldn't believe that he had been brought to this.

The cart was an elegant affair, light and nearly weightless behind him, made from cherry wood that had been polished to a deep ruddy hue and offset with gold brass points. It was the sort of cart many of their groups used in racing or when speed was of the essence, he had been in them dozens of times and now he was pulling in the traces. The little mare could have easily pulled the cart despite her small stature, but she was tied to the back to follow in his wake as Jacob set his ears back miserably. It wasn't hard work, but it was humiliating to feel the cart rolling behind him and the reins that rested over his back and guided him with light touches as the rode opened out in front of him. The taste of the bit was bitter on his tongue as he lowered his head slightly as the whip lightly brushed along his haunches.

"Pick up those feet, m'lad!" The edge of the whip touched again, not painful, not snapping, just a gentle caress over his powerful haunches, but it was enough. He still had a welt from the one sharp strike that it had taken him to get him going.

He lifted up his hooves higher in the air and felt the harness snugging around him as he began up the hill that would lead him towards to the main road entering London. His short tail twitched within the bounds of the crupper as he moved into a trot and heard the cart rattling behind him. His hooves sank into the mud of the road, squelching it up around the edges as he concentrated on every step, every rise and fall of his hooves felt like he was about to trip over them. He could feel them, but not in the way he had felt his feet, it was an entirely new experience that brought up old memories from deep in his mind. The press of the harness, the feel of the collar that pulled down along the base of his neck all worked together to create strange sensory memories that made his mind stir uncomfortably.

The harness jingled around him, rattling and creaking with each step as he had heard a hundred times when he had travelled this way, but that wasn't the memory that tugged at the back of his mind. He could recall throwing his weight against the harness as he trembled and shook with nervous energy, unsure of what was being asked of him or why he was being harnessed up in this way. He had been on a road very like this, but the cart had been empty at the time and a groom had been at his head, the gentle fingers had rubbed over his muzzle to sooth him while he was forced to walk forward. The wheels of the cart had been so frightening, the thing had been chasing him! Only the blinders had kept him from watching the terrifying thing behind him, but he had heard it coming right after him!

The feel of hands on him, the gentle voice that encouraged him to step forward had soothed away his terror. NO! He had been in a cart with his mother, he had been laughing and excited as he bounced about and his fat little pony had pulled the trap along at a fast clip. It had been the first time that he'd driven his carriage by himself and he had never felt so big in his life. That's how it had happened, not with himself being harnessed up. That was a false memory planted by the man he had once called friend. He tried to shrug it away as he trotted over the incline and moved onto the hard packed cobblestones that lead into London. His hooves suddenly hitting them and feeling almost slippery as he snorted and tossed his head up higher in the air. The lightest touch of the reins pulled against his mouth, making him slow to a brisk walk. He dropped his hooves to the ground tentatively, almost positive he was about to fall down at any given moment. But he didn't.

The reins were held a bit more firmly, a guiding touch as he went forward and blinked his eyes rapidly as a firm touch coaxed him back into a trot once he had gotten almost used to the cobblestones. He shivered his skin, but sped up, having to trust the hold on the reins as he went along and heard the mare's hooves echoing behind him. That was almost a comfort, the presence of the mare let him know that he wasn't on his own in this strange situation, it settled some part of his soul as he began to smell the harsh smoky scents of the city begin to spread over the air, mingled with the dampness that was such a part of life there. He flowed into his work, savoring the way that his muscles responded and threw into the process of pulling the cart behind him.

His world was narrowed down to a thin strip just in front of him, unable to see past the blinders on either side, he could only judge where his hooves would fall, not what was around him. It made him feel strangely vulnerable, his only access to the world around him was his driver, the soft voice and hands that guided him. He didn't want to trust Phillip, after all that had happened he had no reason to trust the man. No reason to put his faith in him ever again, but he had no choice. He had to obey the light pulls of the reins, the gentle guiding brushes along his back that kept him to one side of the road that began to pass by small buildings and scattered homes that ringed the outskirts of London. The air became more familiar, and more foreign, all at once.

This wasn't his home, his home was a place of warm grain scents and straw, the taste of water that was fresh and clear as it flowed along a creek. He didn't like the smoky smell that was filling his lungs, he didn't like the dampness that seemed to soak into his harness and fur, he didn't like this place! The rattling of other carts could be heard, horse hooves before suddenly a rattling tinker's cart came trotting up beside him. Cirrus threw his head up with a little whicker of shock, nearly freezing as it nearly brushed against his side as a scruffy mule went trotting down the road towards the heart of London. He could hear his driver calling to him, pulling the reins up so that he could stop and stare at the cart while a tremor ran along his haunches. Only after he had gotten a good look was he give a gentle cluck so he could step forward with a flick of his bobbed tail.

More carts and carriages went by him, most of them at a trot or faster, but each time one went by him, he felt a bit more secure. None of them lunged after him, he had seen them before this, there was nothing strange about them, but it did make him depend even more on the reins to guide him. He was guided to the side several times to let a larger carts and carriages pass him, other times he was sped up as he came upon a cart that he had to pass. His driver knew what to do, there was a calm confidence found there that made him relax and flick his ears back so he could catch the soothing words that encouraged him as he arched his neck and lifted his legs higher in a showy trot.

The buildings were huge, they closed in on all sides as they entered the city proper, his ears flicked back flat to his head uneasily as he heard a strange loud roar. It spilled along the street making him stumble backwards with a rush of terror as something that smoked and sped along erupted from one of the side streets. It was loud, it was terrifying, it was strange and deadly looking, making him partially rear and fight the gentle tug of the reins that tried to settle him. He wanted away! He wanted to run! He turned about with a terrified squeal as the thing blasted past him, but he couldn't turn well in the traces, he couldn't get away! He couldn't escape.

"Easy! There lad, easy!" His driver hopped down from the carriage and suddenly grabbed either side of his muzzle, pulling it down so his nose was shoved against the chest. "Just a motorcar, nothing to be afraid of."

The fingers moved to rub under his chin while he trembled in place, a slight hint of sweat running along his shoulders and neck as the loud strange thing faded away into the distance. His ears twitched back firmly against his head as he heard the frightening thing slip away, the urge to run making him tremble as the fingers stroked down the sweep of his broad neck. The touch was sweet and tender, gentle and caressing as he puffed out breath after hot breath, his eyes flashing an edge of white before he slowly began to calm down. The words murmured in his ear didn't mean anything, they were just comforting sounds as the hand gripped the reins and gave a gentle pull to coax him forward.

He lifted his head up, snorting a little bit as the hand remained over the top of his muzzle, the warm scent filling his senses as he was led forward. One slow step at a time he began to pull the cart again, trusting in the hands that held the reins and pressed against his neck. His nostrils flared wide with each breath as he turned his head about, looking at every sound that startled him. From the clanging of a tinkers cart to the shouting voices that echoed around him. His driver never stopped him from looking, only murmured comfortingly and stroked along his neck lightly to keep him soothed before moving on again.

Eventually their slow walk ended in a place that smelled deliciously and comfortingly of horses and hay, no fear, but of the warm herd scent that he craved. His ears pricked forward and he forgot about the buildings that loomed overhead, the harsh scent of smoke and the strange feeling of being closed in. He lifted his head up and whickered an eager greeting, the mare attached to the cart calling as well before there was an answer that filtered in from the barn proper. He ignored his driver's attempts to hold him back and surged forward, his ears pricked up on his head and nose working even more eagerly as he tasted the various scents, trying to sort them all out from one another.

"Phillip! Good god I was worried about you! Father was ready to send out my brothers to look for Fleet, did you find her?" The girl swept up towards him, making Cirrus jerk backwards and pin his ears back at the crowding. He nosed against his driver anxiously as the bouncy thing tried to reach for his reins.

"Easy, Gianna, let's get him unharnessed and settled. The mare is just fine, she seemed to enjoy following the cart instead of pulling." His driver rubbed along his ears gently and gave a pull. "I brought you a present."

The girl made another high pitched noise that made him snort, only slowly realizing why he had his ears back so distastefully. This was the maid that Phillip had been having a dalliance with when he had first come to the stables. Like a bubble his mind popped and he shivered his skin all over while he was led into the garden of the livery stable, his shattered personality pulling itself together bit by slow bit. He was Jacob, Jacob Torrings of the House Torrings, founded by Sir Edward Torrings. He gripped onto those words with a shudder as he came to a stop and suddenly had a hand rubbing affectionately over his nose. Had he truly forgotten himself? Where was he? How had he gotten here?

The last hour was a strange blur, soft edged and indefinite as if he were remembering something from his very early youth and it had lost the clarity. He didn't even fight as the heavy poles were unfastened and released him from the carriage. His ears pinned flat back to his head as Phillip moved around him and started to unbuckle the heavy leather straps that were wrapped around him. His skin twitched and jerked as if he could shake the harness from himself, as if he could rid the floating sensation that was weighing heavily on his mind and making it impossible to really concentrate on what was going on. All he had was his name to cling to as a part of his identity and even that felt strangely unsure and unsteady.

"I'd like you to board Cirrus here for a short time, I won't be able to take him back to our estate until the spring, you see." Phillip spoke as he slid the harness from Jacob's broad white-grey back, letting the edges slip over him almost in a caress. "I can pay you of course, and as a present you can have him stand stud. I know your father is always unhappy at spending money on the larger cart horses and he's of a champion line."

"He's intact?" Gianna's question came with an absolutely humiliating feel of a hand on his haunch as she glanced under him. "We can count that to your boarding fee."

"No, my dear, think of it as a gift. It'll do him good to keep busy." Phillip hung the harness up and caught his reins as Jacob tried to jerk backwards, snorting angrily at the very idea that he was going to stud any mare.

He was forced to stand still, miserable and humiliated as he was brushed down in a cursory fashion to get any sweat from him and dirt. Gianna tended the mare that he had rented the day before, returning her to her neat stall while Phillip even forced him to lift up his heavy hooves to pick out muck and mud that had been packed into the sole. He had to cling to his own mind, his identity, something that he had known all his life felt fragile and falling apart over the edges. It was all crumbling as there were holes and other memories that roiled beneath the darkness, rearing up and demanding that he acknowledge them before they faded away again.

All he could think of was relief when his bridle was peeled off, dragged from over his ears and tugged down far enough that he could let the bit out. He worked his jaws several times with relief, shaking his head so that his mane fell forward along his forehead before his former friend moved down to grip the underside of his halter. The fingers were so soft and gentle, massaging the places where the leather had pressed the halter a bit too firmly against a skin, the man murmuring softly to him.

"Come on Cirrus, let's see you stabled so Gianna and I might... work on our agreement." Jacob pinned his ears down flat to his head.

"You know, you're going to be wasted on Elana, Phillip." Gianna giggled playfully, hooking her arm in his own. "I'll be quite sad when you finally make it official."

"Mmm, yes, perhaps. But that doesn't mean I have to give you up all together." He leaned down to kiss her, his tongue plunging into her mouth eagerly while one hand kept a firm hold on his halter, forcing him to watch. Like the dumb beast he had been turned into.

~ ~ * ~ ~

The days in the livery stable were endlessly boring with nothing to keep Jacob's mind busy, nothing to do, nothing to concentrate on except for trying to keep ahold of his own mind. Each day the grooms came into the stable and he was treated like every other beast, brushed down swiftly so that he was at least clean and appropriate looking, fed some grain and hay and then left alone for the bulk of the day. He ate, though he hated the food he was given, he drank and he humiliated himself every time that he had to relieve himself no matter if there were people watching or not. He was stalled on the opposite end of the building quite a distance away from the rest of the horses, so he didn't even have them to amuse himself with.

Instead, he was forced to repeat to himself his own lineage, a game that became ever more important as each afternoon he was exercised. Gianna or one of her brothers or her father took him out in a cart to gather patrons who wished to rent a buggy. He pulled a light cart as easily as if it were nothing, and each time he felt as if he were losing a part of himself. He was crumbling around the edges, what he knew about himself was falling apart. There were holes in his memories, gapes that were being replaced with things he tried to deny. Memories of four legs and a sprawling pasture, of warm horse scent and the comforting touch of his mother's nose against his small body. Every day ended and he felt less of a man, or rather, he felt as if the part of him that was a man was more of a mask that covered who he really was.

I am not a horse._He repeated the words in his mind, drooping his head lower as he heard the stable door open for the tenth time that day. _I am a man, I always have been."

"You're sure now, aren't you Lucas?" Phillip's voice sounded almost put upon as Jacob lifted his head. He had to concentrate to understand what the sounds meant, words had started to become harder to understand as of late. Harder to puzzle out.

"Positive, Gianna said that you wanted to be here just in case anything happened. It's the other percheron, the black. Father says she should be ripe." The room that tended him spoke confidently as the pair of them moved into the stable proper, leaving Jacob struggling to understand what they were saying.

When he finally figured out what they were talking about he snorted and jerked his head up into the air, his ears going down flat to his head in affront. Phillip came up to him with a smile on his face, his lips curved up in amusement as he pushed into the stall and reached up to unhook the lead that kept him in place and ensured that he couldn't wander. The hands stroked along his cheek lightly, running along the underside of his jaw so the former lad shuddered in reaction, the skin twitching along his back.

"There's my stubborn lad, time for you to do your duty, eh?" Phillip murmured softly and gave a push with the lead that forced him to step backwards out of the stall.

I'm not going to do that! I'm not interested in human females, why would I do that to a mare?! He bared his teeth as he was pushed backwards step by step, twitching his skin nervously. Hasn't he done enough?! I'll never go after another female he wants again if that's what he wants.

"Stubborn stubborn lad..." The words were whispered into his ear as the lead slapped him in his chest and made him prance backwards, nearly rearing as he clattered out into the middle of the stable. "Get her out in the garden, use a twitch just in case she's fidgety!"

Jacob tried to scramble backwards, but the grip on the lead was firm, yanking him downwards as he gave a slight buck. He wasn't going to do this, he had learned his lesson, he had done everything asked of him in this strange game, it was time to set him free. His father would set out searchers for him, he would rouse the country side as his disappearance became known. Phillip was playing a game that he didn't understand the rules for, he didn't even care if he lost, as long as he was let go! Anything to-

Jacob froze in place, all four legs stiffened beneath him as a scent spilled past him, an enticing scent that filled his muzzle and made him gulp down a breath, sucking it down deep enough that his chest belled outwards before he shuddered it out again. What was that scent? It wasn't the warm comfortable scent of horses, it was richer, sweeter, almost intoxicating as he flared his nostrils again and tasted the air greedily in an attempt to find more of it. His head lifted up, high enough he was yanking against the lead before there was the sound of hooves on stone and a dark black mare was led from the normal stalls and to the walkway. The scent grew stronger, sweet on his tongue, filling his senses until his short bob tail began to snap back and forth along his haunches rapidly.

He didn't know what the scent was, but his body suddenly felt a rush of energy as he curled his upper lip so far back it nearly touched the bridge of his nose. He sucked in a deep breath, belling out his chest as wide as it would go as the lead went slack allowing him to prance forward a few steps, his hooves lifted up high before it went tight again making him swing his body to the side with an angry squeal. The scent grew fainter as the draft mare was led out of the stable and he lunged forward again, yanking roughly against the lead and nearly dragging Phillip with him as he tried to get to the opening to the garden and that scent. Rich, fertile, filling his senses and making the thick dark sheath beneath him begin to stir so the weight of his glans pushed out.

N-no... Wait. MARE! STOP IT!_He squealed out angrily to himself and locked his legs in place. That was an animal out there, the scent was the mare. _I am a human, damnit, not a beast!

He forced his legs to stop moving and turned his head away from the open door, the lingering scent was there, tickling his nose and making his breathing come out in trembling bursts, but he could think. He latched onto himself, he was human, he had always been human, he would always be human. His personality, so full of holes and gapes already, felt frayed as he trembled and place and felt his body respond despite his frantic thoughts. The dark shaft drooled out of his sheath, spilling downwards to swing beneath him as Phillip shifted the hold on his halter and gave it a firm tug, forcing him forward slightly so his neck strained, but he kept his legs locked. He wasn't going to do this! He couldn't do this!

The firm pull dragged against the lead, forcing him to shift forward so that one hoof lifted and dropped again, bringing him that much closer to the scent. The turn made his head face the opening of the garden, able to see the bob tailed mare being neatly held in the open area and a bit of rope wrapped around her upper lip to pinch it so she was distracted. He took it all in as he was led forward another step, and then another, the heavy cock swung back and forth beneath him as he moved. His nostrils couldn't help but flare open as that scent attracted and repelled him both, he knew he didn't want to lift his head and snuff after it, but there was nothing he could do to stop himself. His skin quivered as he was led down the narrow rows, even past livery customers who could easily see the state of his body.

As he was pulled forward the scent grew stronger and he could easily see the dusky folds flashing at him with a glimpse of slickness as they winked. Her clit flashed into view briefly making him peel his upper lip backwards again as his cock stiffened and became smoother by the moment. For the first time he could feel just how much he had changed there. He had known he had ben changed there all along, but now he could feel it curving in an arch beneath him, too large to stiffen straight beneath him for more than the moment it took to slap up against his belly before it swung back down again. It felt sensitive and warm, the heat flushing through him as he picked up his hooves a bit more and drew in another deep breath. He knew this scent, he could recall it, this was a mare. His mare.

His mind frayed over the edges, pushing away memories that had never seemed to be his own as he lunged and fought the lead to get forward. He stepped into the garden and let out a low whuffling sound to his mare, her body stiffening and prancing nervously as he was allowed to strain his neck forward and barely brush along her hind leg. The scent filled him as the soft folds winked and glistened just before his nose, but the lead dragged him backwards. His cock flexed under his belly, slapping lewdly as he tried to lunge forward to get back at her. He squealed angrily, swinging around and jerking his head up before his handler forced him to walk in a broad circle, his cock swinging back and forth beneath him. He wanted this, he wanted her, why wasn't he allowed to go back to her. He reared slightly as he was nearly drawn all the way away from him before he swung in a wide circle and was allowed to approach the mare again.

Not right.. this isnt' right.. Like a fly the thought made him shake his head, shuddering his skin to be rid of it before he was allowed to stretch out towards the haunches again.

He nipped lightly against the back of her leg, lipping and touching as her tail jerked a few times, twitching to one side so that he could rub his lips upwards with interest. His cock flexed harder against his chest, spilling out a dribble of precum that oozed down towards the ground messily. His nostrils quivered, snuffling hotly and brushing this way and that to explore her, tasting that hot scent. He wanted this, he didn't know why his mind was running in circles but this was a mare. His mare! He let out a short rumble and nipped higher up before his nose hovered just above the winking folds and drank in her scent, his lips curling back again.

And then his lead was suddenly given a firm yank, pulling him back so he squealed and stomped a hoof on the ground, trying to fight it. He lunged forward, but no matter how he fought his head was pulled away so he pranced about, his entire body quivering with eagerness as he was forced in a circle, but he strained back towards her. His eyes rolled wildly and the voice in his mind was thrown away to the wind as he was pulled towards the door. NO! That was HIS mare! He lunged backwards and the lead stopped him, almost trying to drag him back into the barn as he scraped his hoof against the ground wildly and fought it. NO! He wasn't going back!

The lead went slack and that's all Cirrus needed as he swung around and returned to the mare. He didn't nuzzle her haunches, he nipped them firmly against before pushing his chest right up against the haunches firmly, his head sliding along her back. The mare startled under him, swinging around with a little buck, but he was already pushing up and over her, his forelegs scrabbling against either side of her hips and hooking there as his heavy chest rested along the line of her rump cheeks. His entire girth stiffened and swung up high to slap against his belly as he used his forelegs to cling around her haunches as he strained his neck forward. He caught the side of her neck with his blunt teeth while rolling his haunches, jabbing his fat swollen glans up between her legs.

There was something so wrong with all of this, but not much of him cared as his cock tip hit hard against the edges of her legs and pushed upwards or slid down. He left trails of wetness along her as he grunted and kept his teeth on her neck, holding her in place as he jabbed blindly at her haunches, only growing more frustrated each and every time he missed. When he drew backwards a warm dry hand suddenly wrapped right around the tip of his cock and squeezed. With a wild squeal he drove forward, trying to work himself through the hand, only to have the hold drag him back down, nudging him lower until he was pushed up against the plump slick folds.

The moment he felt the mark he lunged forward, ignoring the scream of protest in his mind as he felt the hot slick passage wrapping around him and clamping down tight. The walls caressed and stroked over him, pulling him in deeper as the next spill of precum splattered into the mare's belly as inch after heavy inch plunged into her. The walls clamped down and squeezed, pulling tighter so that his hips shuddered when his medial ring pushed into her passage and he walked forward another step and another, arching his back as he made his claim. Her entire body shuddered under him as she startled forward, but her handler kept her firmly in place as he dragged his hips back.

She was tight, so tight, the swollen passage rippled and pulsed with the winking flexes tightened and relaxed her as he pulled his medial ring out with a slick wet noise, yanking almost all the way back to his glans. His body knew what to do, his body was on fire with the need to mark her, make her his mare, pass on his genes. There was no room left in him to consider anything else as he plunged back into her, sinking his medial ring in and driving himself in all the way up that his orbs nearly clapped beneath her legs. He could feel the spongy tip of his cock hitting up hard against her barrier, smearing the thick viscous precum along her at the apex of the thrust before he dragged out.

The only sounds were his short grunts, the sound of hooves and the lewd wet noises each time he drove himself into her. Her slickness coated over him, mingling with his precum as it smeared along the thickest part of his base as he lunged forward harder, trying to use her forelegs to drag her back against him. The heavy swell of his balls pushed upwards at the apex of each thrust before he dragged backwards, feeling the caress sliding over him so a shudder went down his spine. He drove himself inwards time and time again, mindless, caring nothing except for the sweet scent of mare that was flooding his muzzle. This was who he was, this was where he belonged, he knew this, he had always known this. It was a simple truth.

The stallion muffled a squeal as he plunged forward harder, his weight pushing the mare a few steps beneath him as his tail flagged up high behind him. The tip of his cock began to spread open wider and wider, the tip swelling rapidly and growing more sensitive as his urethra jutted out to caress right against the vulnerable opening of the mare's passage. With a groan he sank himself forward, forcing every last inch into her body until her folds were splayed open into a lewd O around him. His balls contracted up tightly, sending up the first hot rush of seed along his shaft.

Pleasure rolled over him, spilling through his body in a white hot rush that left no room for any other thought as the thick gooey cum erupted out to plunge against her cervix. Rope after rope of it was sent up, flooding the mare as he shuddered above her, his forelegs curling along her sides as he could feel her walls clamping down and pulling, milking him and coaxing it ever deeper as he continued to pulse. Forcing it ever deeper towards her vulnerable belly before he started to rock his hips, rolling back and forth through her passage as he released her neck and panted shallowly. His ears flicked back slightly as he lifted his head and shuddered, the last spill of his seed oozing into her as his cock began to soften within the clutching walls.

He felt wrong, strange and uneasy as he stepped backwards, pulling his length from her with a lewd wet noise while the flared tip tugged and stroked lightly. His breathing came out in hot snorts as the mare startled under him and his tip popped free with a wet noise and he dropped down to all fours with his softening cock pulling up beneath him. The mare's dark folds spilled out some of his seed, oozing towards the ground as she kept her tail up high in the air. Cirrus blinked for a moment and then shuddered, part of his mind rearing up in horror despite the rush of pride that he felt. It ate at him as he crested his neck and a hand stroked along it, his eyes turning towards Phillip. Jacob pulled out of his daze slowly, humiliated and frightened by what he had done.

His former friend rubbed along his neck, speaking to him as he rubbed up just beneath the line of his chin. The words came out, but they didn't make sense, the sounds didn't shape anything at all like what they should have. He concentrated, he tried to repeat the sounds in his mind, but they meant nothing. He couldn't understand what was being said, he didn't know the language. He didn't understand. The stable groom spoke up as well, but the words were just as foreign as they would have been if he had been in the orient. They meant nothing at all to him. Nothing.

What have I lost... He returned to his stall dazed and trembling, barely holding the man named Jacob together as he did so. He could feel Cirrus, he could feel the proud creature rolling beneath the surface, satisfied, content, at ease with life from breeding the mare.

~ ~ * ~ ~

The sound of bells rang in the air as the stallion threw his weight forward and arched his thick neck, the chimes created a merry tone as he lifted his legs high in a prance while dragging the sleigh behind him. The snow was deep, nearly to his knees, but he didn't care, he was at home here and the wind barely touched him as he crested his neck and felt the reins lightly touch him so he turned subtly and swept down the hill at a brisk trot. Cirrus twitched his ears back towards his riders as laughter spilled out of Phillip's lips and he leaned back in the blanket that had spread over himself and Elana. The chimes and the creak of the snow the only sounds as they passed beneath the stars and his arm rested along the narrow curve of her shoulders enjoying the way she nestled up to him.

"Isn't this better than your party?" He murmured softly down at her, watching as her dark eyes flicked upwards and her lips lifted up in a slight smile. "Not to say it wasn't lovely."

"It is," She murmured ever so softly. "I never knew you had a sleigh, is it rented?"

"Yes, but Cirrus is my own, I had him brought in especially for you." Phillip's eyes ran along the grey percheron with his powerful body gleaming silver in the moonlight. He didn't even glance back at them as they swept down the hill and onto level land again, skimming over it as if in a dream.

"He is lovely," Elana smiled at him. "I would have thought that Jacob would protest you sneaking out like me. I would have thought that he'd be at the party at the very least."

"Ahh, he was only trying to spite me, you know." He tilted his head down towards her, feeling the warmth of her so intimately close. "He's been called back to his parent's estate, he was failing to meet their standards."

That was the official word, the one that had been handed down from his parents once they had been approached. Only they knew the truth of the matter. They had risked their fortunes for the chance for a child to be their heir, and in doing so they had known the risks involved. Jacob had been born as a colt, a fine promising young stallion and only magic had made him into a man. Magic had given him a personality, substance, an identity as he was delivered to his parents. Magic had kept him in that shape, magic had kept the 'man' in charge, but no longer.

He had stopped the steady flow of magic that kept him in that shape, pulled it away to reveal the creature beneath the human. He had done more than allow the real memories to come back, to call out the stallion that had been hidden under magic and dominated by a man's memories. Day by day the magic faded as the dark brown eyes lost their outrage and confusion, became what he was supposed to be. Cirrus. Phillip's parents had always said that it should have never have worked as well as it had, they need not know why the magic had failed.

As he felt Elana curling so close to him and watched the pale grey form pulling the sleigh, the bells chiming like fairies' music, a smile crossed his lips. The world was back the way it should have been. Jacob never should have existed anyway.

Cirrus arched his neck as his driver called out to encourage him to lift up his legs and he threw his heart into it. His muscled body moved smoothly, the sleigh weighed nothing to him, barely testing his large body and the snow only cooled him down as he pulled into the darkness. It didn't matter that he couldn't see well in the darkness, he trusted the man who guided him with a firm hand on the reins. He had always trusted this man, always loved him, in that, at least, the lingering shreds of his humanity agreed.