Corruption, part 4
#4 of Corruption
Gregg stood on the porch, in front of the door. He didn't want to be here; he wanted to be anywhere, but here. Except he didn't feel he had a choice anymore.
As he had promised himself he fought the lion's influence, but it lasted for all of first two weeks. At first things went well. He focused on his job, and Sasha. When ever his gaze drifted to a guy he'd force himself to focus back to his work. He let the guys at the office know he wasn't going to do anything with them anymore.
Then things started to slip, sex with Sasha hadn't been satisfying, but he'd been telling himself that he was just a question of exerting his will. He was completely intent on making it work. He never intended on going back to the bars.
He nonetheless found himself there one evening, where he picked up a guy and brought him back home. It was only going to be this one time he told himself, He needed it to give himself the energy to last until sex with Sasha became good again.
It was a week before he went back to the bar to get his itch scratched so he could work on the sex with his girlfriend for another week.
He was back the week after that, and the next one. The one after that he came in the middle of the week after an especially bad day at work, and then at the end of the week. With Sasha out of town for that weekend, he spent it in a bath house, doing, and being done, by any guy he found.
After that he was fucking a guy when ever he wasn't busy with Sasha. He didn't even notice when he stopped having sex with her.
What made him realize things had gone too far for him was when he lied to Sasha about having to work late so he could go have sex with guys. The next day he called Joe for help. He would tell him everything, as crazy as it sounded.
But Joe wasn't home. He hadn't been home for a few months, Marsha told him, barely able to stop sobbing. No one had seen him, he'd disappeared, leaving his wallet and keys on the kitchen table.
Gregg felt his hope evaporate as he hung up the phone. Without Joe he didn't know how he could fight anymore. He looked across the kitchen to the knife block. He even went to it and took the knife out, the same one the lion had taken out for him.
He looked at it and then put it back. He wasn't going to use it. He wanted to live. Even if, he couldn't believe he was contemplating this, it meant as the lion's . . . . he couldn't even complete the thought.
But he knew he couldn't continue to feel this way.
He thought about calling Sasha, to explain why he was doing it. But he couldn't get himself to pickup the phone. She might be able to change his mind, and in the end he knew he would hurt her. He knew it would happen anyway, he simply didn't want to see it. So he took out a pen and paper pad to write his reasons down, but he couldn't find the words. In the end he just wrote 'I'm sorry' and left his home.
* * * * *
He found the key behind the loose patio board without having to search for it. With the door unlocked his hand hesitated on the knob. He could still go home. He could explain to Sasha what had happened to him, why he'd been behaving like he had.
He closed his eyes and sighed and he turn the knob. Who was he kidding. To do that he would have to confront the things he had done AFTER the lion had released him from his control. He didn't even want to think about that, how could he confront it. He locked the door behind himself and put the key on the table next to the door.
The entry way led to the living room. It looked completely normal. Gregg was disappointed slightly, He had wanted the lion's home to show some sign of his abusiveness. It shouldn't look ordinary.
He only stood there for a moment. > whispered a voice at the back of his mind. He placed some kindling in the fireplace, lit it and once the fire had taken added two logs, making sure not to smother the fire.
> He took his clothes off, folded them and placed them on the table next to the couch. He knew where the guest bathroom was. It was small and didn't show much signs of being used, but towels and a good soap were waiting for him. He knew that even if no one ever used it, the lion would make sure it was always supplied with good quality products. He took a slow shower, normally he would simply rush through one, but this time he wanted to be careful that he hadn't forgotten any part of his body.
His cock reacted as his soapy paws moved across his body, becoming erect as they moved further down. He grabbed it to take care of it. > the voice reminded him. He let go of it and finished washing.
Once done, and dry he looked around the house, except for the door leading to the master bedroom, he wasn't surprised to find it impeccability clean, but he had hoped for something he could do to keep himself busy until the lion returned. Without anything to do, he returned to the living room. He added a log and then stood, waiting for the lion.
He didn't know how long he stood, only that he had added two more logs before he heard the door unlock. He didn't know what to expect, of the lion, or himself. He steeled himself for whatever might come.
"Hello Gregg," said the lion as he looked him over, "I was hoping you'd choose this over the other alternatives." He smiled sweetly at him.
Gregg was surprised to find he didn't feel a need to smile back, that voice which had been hovering at the back of his mind since he had entered the house was unusually silent. For a moment he contemplated looking away, but he wasn't going to simply submit himself like that. He kept his gaze on the lion, but there was no defiance in his eyes.
The lion moved in front of him. He used a finger to lightly caress the side of Gregg's muzzle. It took an effort of will on his part not to react in anyway at the pleasurable touch. "This is your last chance to change you mind if you want to leave."
"Do I really have a choice?" there was no edge to Gregg's voice. He didn't want an argument. He simply wanted all this to be over.
"Your clothes are there, you can get dressed and go back to the life you now have."
Gregg looked away as he remembered that life. He closed his eyes to try to keep his emotions from overwhelming him. "Can't you change me back to the way I was before? Doesn't me being here prove you've won?"
The lion carefully moved Gregg's head so he would face him again. Gregg opened his eyes to find that he was looking into the lion's. There was a surprising tenderness in them. "I won't change you back Gregg. This isn't about winning. It's about carrying this through to the end. You have to make your decision now."
Gregg closed his eyes again. He tried to tell himself that he could go back to his life, even if it meant hurting Sasha at some point. But the way his heart skipped a beat at that though showed him he was wrong. "I'm staying," he said softly.
"Then you know what you have to do," answered the lion tenderly.
Gregg walked to his clothes and took out his wallet, then he went to the fireplace. The first thing he saw when he opened it was money. He threw it into the fire. **We will never have to pay for anything,** said the voice, now stronger than before, as he watched the bills burn.
Then it was multiple business cards he had accumulated from clients, he'd always meant to do a cleanup of them, but kept forgetting. **We won't have to worry about them anymore.** in the fire they went. After them went his car insurance and registration, health insurance. **We will be cared for from now on.**
The last thing he took out of the wallet was his driver's license. He looked at his picture on it, almost as if he was looking at a stranger's. He hesitated. A part of him didn't want to let go of it. He was standing at the edge of a chasm. If he fell it might never end, said the part of him that was now trying to hang on to who Gregg had been.
He looked at the lion, who was looking back at him with a caring smile. He saw the love in the lion's eyes, the strength in his body. Yes, he might fall, but he knew the lion would be there to catch him. He would sooth away his pains and his worries. All he had to do was walk off the edge.
With a flick of his wrist the driver's license flew into the fire. As he watched it melt the voice that was who Gregg had been grew distant. He closed his eyes as vertigo took hold of him, and waited for the lion to catch him.
END