Chapter XIV: Choice and catharsis
Laying on the couch as still as he could, Aran tried to think of a different place in a desperate attempt to escape the pain. Every move appeared to hurt, except for his fingers, which idly tousled with Damian's fur.
Not paying attention to anything in particular, the wolf caught snitches of one half of a conversation. Jennifer appeared to be speaking with someone on the phone. From what managed to penetrate Aran's mind, he could make up that she was discussing his current situation. The call was ended rather abruptly with the collie saying that she would wait for the other person.
Time passed on as Aran struggled. Every now and then, he would open his eyes to glance at the clock above the couch. A good twenty minutes passed before the doorbell rang. Jennifer hurried to the front door and let the visitor in. Aran estimated that it would be the person she spoke with on the phone.
"I'm glad you're here, even though that means your expectations were correct," she said.
"Don't worry, we might be able to turn this around and use it to his advantage," a familiar voice replied.
Jennifer entered the living room with her visitor. Aran's ears had not betrayed him.
"I can't say this often enough, wolfie, but you really are a piece of work," Kaiser said.
"What're you doing here?" the wolf muttered.
Kaiser sat down on one knee, next to the couch.
"Listen, Aran, you're suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Ursaurine can only keep its effect as long as it is taken at least once every forty-eight hours. It has been over three days since your last dose, so you actually surprised me that it took the symptoms so long to develop."
"I figure you're not... going to give me ursaurine?" Aran queried, interrupting himself to let out a groan.
"On the contrary," the Doberman said, producing a small glass bottle from his pocket, "Rehab is part of your treatment, remember?"
"Then what's inside that?" the wolf asked, referring to the lime green transparent liquid in the bottle.
"This is a chemical compound that will greatly relieve the burning pain. It does so by counteracting the chemical reactions in your brain that cause the phantom pain. Your brain is merely making you believe that you're in pain, while it's in fact a subliminal request for more ursaurine. Do you get all that?"
Aran nodded.
"Now, as you might have expected, everything comes with a price. This antidote, to put it bluntly, has a few side effects. Since the chemical targets parts of your brain that control muscle movement and motor skills, your strength will diminish and you will have less... accuracy when moving your limbs, so to speak."
"You said that like I have a choice."
"In a certain way, you do. Either you take the antidote and lose some of the grasp on your body, or you take painkillers until it's over. The latter, however, will target the effect rather than the cause, and since the pain is not actually physical, you'll probably still suffer."
The wolf remained silent for a while to ponder his options.
"How bad are those side effects?"
"I've used it with a couple of other charges that had used steroids, but the effect varies. Some of them just became a little clumsy, while others lost the ability to walk properly. Don't worry, though, it probably won't affect your mind, and it's not permanent. "
"W-will I still be able to talk? I mean, being dressed and treated like a puppy is one thing, but speaking like one is a step I'm absolutely not willing to take."
"And being treated like a puppy is?" Kaiser countered.
Aran put up a pouty face.
"Sorry, that was inappropriate. So far, we haven't had a charge that suffered from speech impediment as a side effect. I can't guarantee you won't either, but if there is a chance, it would be slim."
The wolf inhaled sharply, then let the air out in a deep sigh.
"Fine. I'll take the risk."
"Antidote it is?" Kaiser verified.
Aran nodded and the Doberman turned to Jennifer, who had been waiting in the background.
"When you screw the cap off the bottle, the glass tube connected to it will serve as a pipette. One dose should be enough for him, judging by his weight and size."
"How many doses should I give him on a daily basis?"
"One in every eight to ten hours, depending on his condition. Should he still feel the effect of his withdrawal, contact me again."
The wolf was relieved to hear that, although the Doberman was not kind to him, Kaiser was not cruel either. Both dogs appeared to be concerned about Aran's health.
"Just take one dose and water it down a little, like you do with the painkiller."
Jennifer nodded. "How long will I have to give this to him?"
"Start with three days. He'll probably be okay after that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more... business to attend to," the Doberman replied.
"Sure. You know the way out."
As our visitor left the house, Jennifer rinsed the bottle the wolf had drank from earlier. She then put in a dose of the antidote and watered it down. With the potion of redemption in hand, the collie turned to her charge.
"You know the drill by now, pup?"
Aran tried to sit up, but moved too fast, which caused a surge of pain flaming through his back. Whimpering, he relaxed his muscles and prepared to face the feeling of his upper body falling back down on the couch.
However, Jennifer had noticed this just in time and reflexively caught the wolf. Her grip still hurt him, but it was better than the alternative. Sitting on her knees, next to the couch, she supported Aran's upper body with one hand and fed him the small bottle with the other. Within seconds, Aran had drained the bottle.
"Yech," he muttered, showing a face of disgust.
"Did it taste that bad?" Jennifer half joked.
Aran nodded, then stayed silent for a while as the collie scratched him behind his ear.
"Jennifer? Are you taking advantage of me?" the wolf asked.
"What? No, I'm just trying to make you feel comfortable."
"That's not what I meant. This whole rehab thing... I feel like you're using my withdrawal as an excuse."
"An excuse? For what?" the collie asked with genuine curiosity.
"For everything. Treating me like I'm your puppy, the clothes, the husky," he summed up.
"The diaper?" Jennifer filled in.
"More than anything else. Why do you do this to me?"
The collie compassionately shook her head.
"How long are you going to keep asking those questions?"
"As long as you refuse to answer them. You said that everything would sort itself out eventually, but I still don't understand it. I don't need any of this and I didn't ask for it. I want to go home!"
"Home? To your mother?"
Aran growled.
"You're doing this on purpose! Stop playing dumb, you know exactly what I mean!"
"Little one, first of all, I have been clear about raising your voice to me. Since you're already dealing with enough suffering for now, I won't punish you, but I won't forget this either. Second, I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation. You speak of going home, but your words tell me that you don't _have_a home."
"How can you tell that? Besides, I do have a home. I live with my best friend and I'm perfectly content with that."
"Correction: you used to live with your best friend," the collie replied sharply, "He was arrested a few days ago, remember? He even got betrayed by another 'friend' of yours. And how I know this, you ask? You're not my first charge, remember?"
The wolf remained silent, intimidated by Jennifer's outburst. A few seconds later, she sighed.
"Sorry, Aran, I'm not supposed to talk to you like that. I understand that you're confused and you want to know the meaning behind what we do. My other charges were less rebellious than you were, but maybe they were actually docile and I was lucky with them."
"I-I... I'm lost, Jennifer," Aran said in confusion, "Are you mad at me?"
"In a way I am, but that's just because you're not behaving the way I'd like to see, so that's essentially my problem. This is about you, though, not about me. We're only trying to help you, Aran. It'll be easier and faster if you cooperate."
Somehow, the wolf felt sorry for his caregiver, but on the other paw, he still wanted her to let him go.
"But I don't even know what you guys want from me, so how can I give you anything?
"You make a valid point, little one. I cannot tell you about our intentions, though, since most of our program doesn't work properly when the charge knows what's coming. However, I might be able to give you some insight on our motivations."
"Really?"
"Probably, yes. But I want to see some improvement in that attitude of yours before I can give you such a reward," she said sternly, but kindly, "And don't bother trying to fake it, as I know well enough if you're playing pretend. Do you understand me?"
Aran pondered for a few seconds, but finally gave in, albeit reluctantly.
"I'll try to be good," he said with a tone of defeat.
"That's my puppy."
Jennifer put her hand on the front of Aran's diaper and gently squeezed it.
"Hey! Whatcha doin'?" he said, wanting to move away from her, but his body refused.
"No need to be jumpy, little one," Jennifer reassured, "I was only checking your diaper. You'd better get used to that."
The wolf crossed his arms and put up a pouty face.
"Looks like you could use a change, am I right?"