Against the Horizon - 04 - The Fourth Stage of Grief
Chapter 4 - The fourth stage of grief
After Alex and Derek had somehow managed to convince Thomas not to try and strangle Joss, the impromptu party could begin. When the first conversation topic came up, though, the six friends suddenly weren't in the mood to celebrate that much. "Helena, Derek, and... you," Thomas glared at Joss, his tail fluffy and puffed up from indignation. "I think you should leave this place as fast as you can. I'm not kidding.""What?!" the three exclaimed all at once. The nerd nodded. "I'm dead serious," he briefly glanced at Alex and Marnie, sitting on the bed alongside him. It was only in that moment that the fox-boy realized that those who were changing had taken seat on his bed, and those who were still human on Joss'. "We three are already changing, so there's nothing we can do, but maybe you can...""Bullshit," Joss replied curtly. "Joss is right. Well, kinda," Helena stepped in, trying to be more diplomatic. "The point is, we don't know what's happening to us. Maybe it's not limited to the campus, maybe the whole world is..." Alex shook his head. "That's unlikely. We would've known by now."Thomas nodded again. "I agree. The only logical conclusion is that whatever is causing us to change into anthropomorphic animals has a range that is limited to our campus." He grinned, looking amused all of a sudden. "I never thought I would've used the words 'logical conclusion' and 'anthropomorphic animals' in the same sentence... It's still kinda weird."Alex cleared his throat. "By the way, how's the situation in the campus?"Helena frowned. "The attendance to the lessons has taken a nosedive in the past couple of days, some of the professors have taken an emergency leave, and this morning even a couple of shops were closed with no explanation whatsoever... no one has actually left the campus, though, or so I heard. And speaking of which... I don't want to leave, either. I don't know why, but there's something - like a weight in my chest - that's keeping me here." The girl looked at Derek and Joss. "Are you two feeling the same?"The Hispanic guy nodded. His dark, deep eyes were watery; he looked on the verge of tears. "Yeah... I mean... Okay, I'll say it: I'm scared. I'm scared shitless. I don't want to change, I don't want to become... whatever you guys are becoming. I mean, what will our families think of us? What will the world think of us? What's going to happen when this thing will become public knowledge? And yet, for some reason... I can't bring myself to run away from this place. I don't know if someone or something is messing with my brain or if I'm just worried about you guys, but... I can't. I simply can't." Derek was staring at the floor, his black hair falling over his forehead, creating a curtain to shield his eyes. What happened next would've to be seen to be believed: Thomas got up, opened his arms and hugged his roommate, tightly. "I'm sorry, Derek," he said, and his apologies sounded genuine. "I kept shoving my stupid tail in your face without even thinking about your feelings... But really, you should've told me!"Derek tried his best to smile a bit. "I... I thought that trying to behave like I normally do would've helped me dealing with, well... all this. But I guess what's happening to us is not what's usually called 'everyday life', huh?" The young man sighed. "I guess this is just too much for me to process...""It would be too much for anyone to process," Marnie observed; she was still calm and composed though, even eerily so. "Although... We have no other choice."A moment of silence. "Well, at least we can rule out the possibility that it's a virus of some sorts," Thomas observed. Alex scratched himself behind a hear, making it twitch. "How can you be so sure about that?""Think about it, Starcross: a pathogen agent would try to infect as many people as possible. Keeping us inside the campus certainly won't help it spread." "So..." Derek mumbled. "What are you suggesting? That we're just like sea monkeys in a small tank and something is having fun watching us change?""I... Yeah. Maybe. I don't know...". Thomas growled, showing pointy teeth. "Gaaah, I feel so frustrated and impotent!"After that, no one in the room wasn't in a good mood. Helena and Marnie quickly excused themselves, and Thomas helped Derek got up from the bed, putting his arm over his friend's shoulder. "Come on, let's go back to our room. I'll make you some tea and we'll watch a movie, your choice. And I promise I won't talk to you about my tail again, 'kay?" Derek just nodded, but at least he seemed a bit relieved. "Hey, Thomas?", Alex said when his friends were already at the doorstep.The nerd turned around. "What?"The fox-boy smiled, showing off his impressive set of canines. "Who knew that under all that spite and arrogance you really had a heart?" Thomas snickered. "Go yiff in hell, Starcross".*After Joss and Alex had somehow cleaned up their room - in an awkward, tense silence - the frat boy grabbed his smartphone and started browsing through his Facebook profile, laughing and making comments from time to time. The fox-boy, meanwhile, had powered up his laptop. "Wanna search for some news, too?" Joss asked from his bed.Alex shook his head while clicking on the Skype symbol on his desktop. "I just want to talk to someone." Please, tell me she's online... He feverishly prayed while staring at the loading screen; luckily, the icon next to the name of the person he wanted to call was bright green. Alex, after checking that the webcam wasn't on, started the call."Um, mom?"The voice of his mother - happy and maybe a bit tired because of the work - came out of the laptop's speakers. "Hi! I was wondering when you were going to call me.""How are you?""Busy, as usual. You know me, can't stay quiet. You?"Alex lowered his gaze. "I'm... I'm fine.""I can't see you for some reason, there must be some problem with the call.""N-no, it's just that... I didn't turn the webcam on. Our room is a real mess, you know...""My fault!" Joss, now standing behind Alex, exclaimed in a cheerful tone. "How are you, Mrs. Starcross?""Hi Joss!" Alex's mother and his roommate apparently got along very well for two people who had just talked a couple of time via Skype, but again, Joss got along very well with basically everyone. "How are you?" "Everything's a-ok! But sorry, didn't want to interrupt the call.""Don't worry. So, Alex, to what do I owe the pleasure of talking with you?", the woman asked in a joking tone. "I...". Alex bit his lip. "I just wanted to hear your voice."A long moment of silence followed. "I see... Alex, it's perfectly fine to feel homesick sometimes. After all, you've never been that far away from home... We've always been together, you and I. Go Team Starcross, remember?" The voice of the woman suddenly gained a melancholic shade."Go Team Starcross," Alex replied, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. As far as Alex could remember, he had never seen his father. There was no picture of him in the whole house, and he didn't even know his name; it was a topic neither he nor his mom had never brought up, and Alex was perfectly fine with it. He had always got along well with his mother, she had been extremely supportive when he had come out to her and - despite having a very good job in a law firm - she had to make many sacrifices for him to go to the college. They've always been together, two against the world, and only now Alex realized how much it must had been tough for his mother to go back to their home every evening in the past few months and not finding anyone to greet her. "I'm always here, whenever you need me, Alex. Never forget this, okay?"Alex bit his lip again, trying his best not to cry. "Okay. Thank you, mom." The fox-boy stared at the screen in silence for a couple of seconds. "Well, actually... I wanted to say one thing.""Go on.""U-um..." There was a tight, rigid knot when Alex's throat used to be until a minute ago. "I... I want you to know that no matter what happens... I'm still me. That's all.""Are you sure you're okay, Alex?" The voice of his mother now sounded concerned. "You didn't by any chance get some embarrassing tattoos you don't want to show me, did you?"Derek's words floated through the fox-boy's brain for a moment. I mean, I've seen tattoos hundreds of times more embarrassing. "No, don't worry... And thank you, mom. I'm feeling much better now. I'll call you again tomorrow, 'kay?""Okay. I love you, Alex.""I love you too."Alex closed his laptop, ending the conversation, and stood there in front of the desk, his back sagging, his eyes unfocused. And then, all of a sudden, he felt the warmth of another body pressing against his: Joss was hugging him, and it was one of the gentlest hugs Alex had ever experienced.Thanks to his now very sensible nose, the fox-boy could smell the kaleidoscope of scents coming from his roommate: shampoo, aftershave, and the distinctive aroma of his skin and sweat underneath them. They all seemed familiar... and very comforting. "Take your time, dude," said Joss, and Alex could feel his warm breath against his ear. "You can cry if you want to. I'll be here for you." Alex just closed his eyes and rested his head against the chest of his roommate. No more words were spoken. No more words were necessary.A dark evening had fallen fast over the campus, claiming its streets and buildings and plunging them into a strange, uneasy quietness. Neither Joss nor Alex were very hungry, so they just munched some potato chips while absent-mindedly watching the latest episode of The Walking Dead on Alex's laptop. "You know, it could be way worse, dude. We could be turning into zombies," Joss joked at one point."Yeah, that would be awful," Alex replied. "Are you sure you don't want to go to that Iota Beta Iota party you were reading about on Facebook?" Joss ruffled the fox-boy's hair. "Dude, I go to a party, like, every night. But this evening I just want to stay here and relax with my best pal." The frat boy yawned. "And I can use a good night of sleep every now and then anyway."Alex felt the same warm and fuzzy feeling he had experienced when Joss had hugged him blossoming again in his chest. I would've never thought that, the first time I met him, but... Joss is a great friend, he thought. Maybe he's not particularly bright and he should work on his grades a bit more, that's true; although, the kindness he's showing towards me is so pure and disinterested... He's by far the nicest guy I've ever met. "Thanks..." the fox muttered. "You're welcome!" Joss stared at him, frowning. "Dude, I don't want to scare you, but there's definitely something wrong with your face.""W-what?!" Alex exclaimed, instinctively bringing his hand-paws to his nose, only to feel it pulsing and contorting under his leathery pads.Joss gestured at the bathroom door with his head. "You should go check yourself in the mirror."His roommate was right, something weird was happening to his face: it looked swollen and misshapen, especially in the area around his nose and mouth; there was no pain, of course, but staring at himself in such a pitiful state made Alex want to puke his stomach out."I think I know what's happening, dude," Joss chimed in. "You're getting a proper muzzle.""Y-yeah..." The thought scared Alex a little bit: even with fur already covering his face and a black canine nose, he was still somewhat recognizable as Alex Starcross... But an animalistic muzzle would've changed that, too. No, he urged himself. Stop focusing on those depressing thoughts. Focus on the change, instead. You can't fight it, you can't control it or influence it in any way... It'll just happen whether you want it or not. Marnie is right, there's nothing we can do about it... So maybe we should simply try and enjoy the ride? "Is it stretching?", Joss asked. "Yes, I think it is. Does it hurt, dude?""N-no..." And his face was indeed stretching, his jawbone reshaping, his teeth becoming wider to accommodate his extending maws. Aside from the occasional creaking of his bones, it was just like his face was made of silly putty."So... does it feel good?"Alex shrugged, his eyes crossed, trying not to lose a moment of his change. "It doesn't feel anything in particular." Except maybe a little disgusting, he added mentally. He pressed a finger against his nose, trying to see if he could push the growing muzzle back, but to no avail. The change couldn't be controlled nor it could be influenced, after all. "So... A change that is neither painful nor pleasurable..." Joss looked like he was immersed in deep thought. "I'm sure Thomas would say that this is, like, a wasted occasion from a narrative standpoint or whatever."Alex stared at his roommate wide-eyed, now completely oblivious of his change. "That's... surprisingly insightful, coming from you." "Um... Thanks, I guess?""And by the way, he would totally say something like that," he added, trying to set his extending muzzle into a smile. Or something about penises, I dunno.Joss nodded. "Were all your other changes that... dull, dude?""Dunno. I mean, except for the ears, I was sleeping through most of them. It's probably so that our bodies don't waste excessive energy... But you're right, now that I think of it it's kind of a disappointment." The fox-boy shrugged. "I guess this means that what's important is not the change but the results?""I'm sure you're right, dude. By the way, I think your transformation is over for now."Alex glanced at the mirror, and the muzzle of a fox stared back at him, a slick, elegant, triangular shape covered in red and white fur, with a black, damp nose on the top. Black lips parted a bit, showing two lines of pointy teeth and a long, pink tongue. It was, undeniably, the face of a beast, of an animal, of something that couldn't possibly be defined as a "human being."And yet, Alex could still recognize himself: the presence of the person called Alexander Starcross still lingered there, albeit in a much subtler way than before. Yes, his face was completely different, but the look in his eyes, the way his forehead frowned, the peculiar fold of his lips... They were still there. When Alex was twelve, he discovered for the first time the concept of DNA, and was very excited at the prospect of creating his own personal pegasus by adding wings to a horse... At least until five minutes later, when his mother quashed his hopes and dreams by explaining to him that DNA didn't work like a box of construction blocks, and that adding a pair of functioning wings to a horse would've been basically impossible, just like creating any other perfect hybrid between two different animal species. Or a hybrid between a human and an animal.In other words, what Alex was staring at in his bathroom mirror could only be defined as "a miracle". "Wow," the fox-boy muttered, staring at his body. For the first time since the previous evening, he was starting to feel aroused, his nipples contracting and hardening and a tingling, pleasurable sensation spreading all over his groin area. No, bad fox, bad fox!, he scolded his own body. I don't have time for this right now... as much as I would love to. Because there was no point denying it, his latest masturbation session had been amazing. His new canine shaft was so sensitive... even a bit too much, to be honest. "Now you only need a tail," Joss observed, staring at his roommate and nodding."Yep," Alex replied. The bump just above his ass crack still hadn't grown a bit since that morning. "Do you think I haven't finished changing because I still haven't completely accepted what's happening to me? Like some sort of psychological block?"Joss gave him a funny look and ruffled his unruly red hair again. "Dude, you're turning into a fox. Stop trying to find some logic in that."Alex grinned. He knew exactly what Thomas would've said if he had heard that."Ignorance is bliss, Starcross. Ignorance is bliss".Alex was lying on his belly in the darkness, his eyes staring at the screen of his laptop - the only source of light in the room - without actually seeing it: right now, the fox-boy was experimenting with his newly heightened senses.He could tell with certainty that Joss had fallen asleep some minutes earlier just by listening to the rhythm of his breathing, peaceful and constant, not unlike that of a child. For a moment, Alex wondered if his roommate would've minded if he had climbed into his bed to sleep alongside him, enjoying the warmth of his body. Probably not, the fox-boy concluded, but he didn't want to risk getting aroused; instead, he decided to focus on the smells and the odors in their room, sniffing around with his sensitive nose without moving an inch from his bed. The sensation was overwhelming, as if the bedroom had suddenly started shining with many bright and intense colors: Alex felt on his tongue the taste and the crispiness of the potato chips that had fallen on the floor, revelled for a moment in the pleasurable, musky scent coming from his sleeping roommate... and sneered when the pungent stench of dirty clothes and dust entered his nose, obliterating any other odor. We should really do laundry as soon as possible, the fox-boy thought. And clean the floor. With napalm, maybe. Alex wriggled a bit on the mattress, flailing like a fish, feeling nervous all of a sudden: the stuffy smell of his bedroom was driving him crazy, and after a whole day locked inside, the urge to run in the fresh, dark air, his senses and mind overblown with thousands of different stimuli was too much to resist. Makes sense, he thought, climbing down his bed in complete silence. The animal part of me has its needs, too. But Joss was right, there was no need to try and find some logic in what was happening to him: the night was calling, and he couldn't help but answer. He quickly discarded his shorts, putting on a pair of baggy jeans and a grey hoodie, and admired the result in the bathroom mirror: he didn't mind wearing clothes, even as a half-animal hybrid, especially because - he had to admit - he looked kinda cool with the hood over his head, even if it didn't hide his long muzzle. Well, it's not like I plan on being seen, he told himself, looking around for a pair of shoes and then deciding he could as well go barefoot: none of his footwear would've fitted his new feet-paws anyway. "See you later, Joss", he murmured at his now snoring roommate before sliding out of the room, as silent as a ghost.*The campus was, quite literally, a small microcosm in the middle of nowhere: the nearest town was at a little more than four miles' distance, and the college was surrounded by three sides of thick, luscious woods. Only a handful of students wandered into town during the weekends - usually with the goal of buying booze for the frats' parties - because there was really no reason to, except maybe for going to the theatre to see a movie. The campus, in fact, offered to the students every sort of commodities: convenience stores, a large bookshop - even if Thomas had been complaining about the size of the comic book section since the first time he had set foot there - a gym, a couple of coffee shops and a large underground room choke full of washing machines. That's probably the reason why the world still hasn't noticed what's happening here, thought Alex while dashing through a small wooden area between two of the dorm buildings. At first he was headed to the same old spot on the dorm roof, before realizing he didn't want to simply look at the campus: he wanted to hear it, to smell it, to savor it thanks to his new extraordinary senses. And really, it was very difficult for Alex not to start barking in excitement while running barefoot alongside the faculty buildings and through the well-kept, cosy paths. He could hear the faintest sounds, his nose was collecting hundreds of different smells, and the pads under his feet-paws were able to interpret the ground with absolute precision. But that was just a small part of what was happening to him: his new body was way faster than his human one, and Alex felt he could run for hours without even breaking a sweat. He was nimbler, more energetic and even stronger, as he had discovered when he had stumbled into the training grounds of the athletics team and had decided on a whim to do a quick set of pull-ups, a feat that he could've never be able to accomplish so fast and so well - if at all - no more than three days before.It's like being truly alive for the first time, he thought, jumping over a thick tree branch and resting there for a bit in perfect balance. Hehe, I'm a ninja, he thought. The excitement was bubbling inside his heart like champagne, and - just like the wine Derek had made him taste - it was exhilarating and intoxicating. The sound of someone stumbling down the path alarmed the fox-boy; he quickly jumped back to the ground and dived into the nearest bush. "What the...", he whispered, staring at the figure that had just emerge from the evening daze. It was a guy, probably a sophomore or a junior, wearing a varsity jacket emblazoned with the colors of the college; he was half-singing, half-mumbling something intelligible, probably because he was drunk... well, more like completely wasted, to be honest: he couldn't walk straight for more than one step, and he had a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels clutched in his right hand. Despite being completely wasted, he was kind of cute in a sorta hipster way, with dark-rimmed glasses and a long, pointy goatee that complimented well with the thick, dark, curved ram horns protruding from his forehead. He looks like a satyr, Alex mused, looking at the guy passing him by and stumbling down the path. It kinda makes sense for him to be drunk. The fox-boy frowned. If changing people start walking around the campus like that, it won't be long before the secret of this place is discovered..."U-um..."A timid whisper coming from behind him made Alex jerk and jump out of the bush; he quickly turned around, babbling some unconvincing explanation. "It's not what you think, this is just a costu... WHAT?!" On the other side of the bush, at least fifteen feet long, with a sinuous tail rolled up under his scaled brown and bronze body and a shy stare in his reptilian eyes, stood a giant snake. A giant snake with sporting a pair of arms. "Oh my god..." the snake whispered, his forked tongue flickering outside his mouth a couple of times. "Y-you are... just like me...""Dude, what the hell?!" Alex exclaimed in response. "You scared the crap out of me! You can't just walk... I mean, slither behind people like that!" For some reason, he was more angered than shocked; after all, he already knew that a human-snake hybrid existed, at least according to what Joss had told him. Apparently, that crazy girl was right, he pondered. I hope she hasn't really seen Slenderman, though, that would be scary...The fox-boy was suddenly pull out of his thoughts when he felt a cool, scaly appendage starting to wrap itself around one of his legs: the snake was in front of him and was hugging him tight, his tail moving like it had a mind of his own. "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." he whispered. He sounded like he was on the verge of crying. "U-um, you're... You're not trying to crush me, right?" Alex asked, cool sweat trickling underneath his red fur. "'cause you look like a python or something like that, and I know what constricting snakes do..."The snake immediately released him from his hug as if the fox-boy's skin was scalding hot. "I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to..." he murmured, his eyes staring at the ground."N-no, I... I was just surprised!" Alex waved his hands frantically, trying to sound as apologetic as possible. "I mean, I still haven't met someone whose transformation is, well, more advanced than mine. Oh, right, I'm Alex Starcross... nice to meet you."The fox-boy extended his right paw-hand, and the snake grabbed him with his right hand, a hint of prudence in his gesture. He still had fingers, long and tipped with claws like that of a lizard. "My name is November. November Raines".