The Bullshitter's Club
The Bullshiter's Club
The room was more of a private club that just happened to sit behind a bar and nightclub. To get in, one needed an electronic slide key and there was no official wait staff. If you wanted a beer, you had to go out to the bar at the disco. The entry cards were available simply by asking the bartender, who would, if you were new, explain that the "quiet room" was a private club, not owned by the bar, and not open to the public. This was for legal reasons, as the state no smoking laws clearly banned smoking in any place open to the public. Then the bartender would slide the card to you and you'd be able to enter the hermetically sealed room.
Many would think that such a private club would be some sort of kinky sex dive. In reality, it wasn't. The owner of the disco was simply looking for a way to keep from losing smoking customers, and the neighborhood outside wasn't comfortable to loiter. There was no room to build in outside seating and still be within the confines of state law. The "private club" also gave the owner a new profit line. While you could not buy alcohol or food in the "quiet room", the owner could sell tobacco. And as a nod to trendiness, the owner also rented hookahs by the hour. In all, the private club was quite profitable.
The large brown bear sat in the wooden chair, his back to the wall, and lit his pipe. You could still hear the thump-thump-thump of the electronica of the disco in the next room. This was the meeting of the bullshitter's club. The talk that night was about "first time stories". Any kind of first time would do. The only rule was that you couldn't tell about your own first time. You had to make something up about the stock characters. Jack, the Dalmatian and Gary, the bear.
The bear listened to the fox in winter gray fur to his left tell his anecdote about a young Dalmatian that found himself rooming with a bear for a convention.
"All that weekend, the young Dalmatian kept waking up with his paws in the bear's underwear. Finally on Sunday morning, the last day of the Con, the pup and bear found themselves alone in the room. Their roomies had cleared out. The bear decided to push the pup and see if the pup was really serious. The bear locked the pup in a kiss, then pushed him on his back. The pup had a bright red, engorged dick with a swollen knot, dripping with excitement. The bear hesitated for a moment, watching to see if the dog would say "no", then slurped at the red plug. The dog came almost immediately, being his first time and the bear slurped and smiled before licking lower, lubing the pup's tailhole with the spoo he hadn't swallowed. The bear then lined up his hardness with the slick hole, and you can guess the rest."
The fox puffed on his cigar, "I'd go on, but obviously, it wasn't the bear's first time, was it?"
"Oh come on," exclaimed the Coonhoud to the fox's left, opposite the bear. "Y'all caint tell a story lahk that un and leave us hangin'."
"Yeah," said the boar to the bear's right. "And all technicalities count. This was the bear's first time with this pup."
The bear just grinned and puffed on his pipe, knowing the fox loved this kind of attention.
"Oh, alright. Now where was I? The bear was about to fuck the Dalmatian, right?"
The bear took the stem of his pipe from his muzzle and peered into the bowl as he tamped down some of the ash in the bowl. "Yep," he said, before striking a match and puffing the bowl back into life.
The fox took another puff on his cigar, "Okay. The Dalmatian looked up at the bear, scared at the sudden hardness at his now-slick tailhole. He wasn't sure whether he was ready for this or not, but looking up at the bear, he just couldn't bring himself to say "no". The bear hesitated, 'Do you want me to do this, Jack?' he asked.
The Dalmatian looked up at the bear, then bravely nodded.
'You have to say it, Jack. Say "Yes, Gary. I want you to fuck me."' the bear rumbled, swirling the dripping head of his cock around the slick, wet pucker of the Dalmatian.
The Dalmatian tensed up, then sighed, 'Yes Gary. This is my first time, but I want you to slide your thick bear cock in me. I want you to fuck me. Just... be gentle?'
The bear smiled, 'See? That wasn't so hard Jack. And don't worry. This might hurt a little at first, but it'll feel real good later.'
The bear started to push in slowly to the now sloppy, wet tailhole of the spotted dog. He'd just gotten the head in when the dog clamped down hard and gasped, 'Ow... It hurts too much...'
The bear backed off pushing in, 'Breathe, Pup. Then push out like you're taking a big dump.' The bear lifted the Dalmatian's hip slightly to get a better angle for entry and then suddenly felt his thick cock slide all the way into the panting dog beneath him.
'There, Jack. You did it. I'm all the way in.' The bear leaned over and kissed the panting dog. 'Now just relax and let me know when you're ready for me to start pumping ya.'
Jack had never felt so full in his life, and the pain of the bear's entry was starting to ease. He felt very warm and breathless as, after a couple of minutes he looked up at Gary after such a tender kiss and said, 'Okay. Go easy, but I want you to pump me.'
The bear grinned and kissed the spotted dog again, then started to pull out and push back in in first short, then increasingly longer strokes until he was long-dicking the spotted dog. He watched the dog carefully, noticing the flaccid, sheathed cock start to engorge and creep out of it's hiding place as he hit just the right spot. Then he felt his balls tighten, knowing he was close, and started to pump harder, pounding into the once-virgin tailhole of the Dalmatian.
'D-do you want me to cum inside you, Jack?' the bear grunted, trying to hold off the inevitable.
'Uh-uh... Yes! Yes, Gary. Cum deep inside me!' the dog howled, his cock spraying their chests with another dose of Dalmatian spoo.
The sudden tightness of Jack's tailhole pushed Gary over the edge and it felt like he was pumping gallons of bear spoo into the spotty dog.
Just then, there was a smattering of applause from the door to the room. The Badger and Fox that had been the bear and Dalmatian's roommates had returned.
'Woo! Jack got the bear! And Gary's got a cute ass!' exclaimed the fox.
'Do I get to have sloppy seconds?' giggled the badger."
The table erupted into laughter.
"Nice little twist, Maj" chortled the boar. 'But I thought you weren't going to make these two a couple.'
Maj stubbed out his cigar and smiled, "Well... They may not be a couple, but no one forgets their first time. Anyhow, anyone else want a beer before Chance tells his version?"
"Yah. Git meh a cider, would ya Maj?" The coonhound slid a five dollar bill over to the fox, then tamped down his corncob and placed the half-smoked pipe on the table as the fox headed for the door.
Everyone at the table shifted in their chairs, getting comfortable. Maj slid a bottle of cider in front of the coonhound and drank half his beer all at once. "Thirsty work," he said, putting the mug down on the table.
"Yah, sure. Ah suppose it's mah turn?" said the coonhound.
The boar rumbled, "Cut the accent Chance and save it for your husbands back home. We all know you're really from New England."
"Now don't be that way," Chance smiled at the boar. "You'll get another boyfriend."
The boar grumbled something inaudible.
The dog adjusted his suspenders over his ample belly, "Speak up if yah want ta be heard, boy. Now give me a moment and I'll get started."
The coonhound produced a box and slid it across the able to the boar, "For you, Steve. From my husbands and I, because we love you."
The boar looked a little non-plussed but opened the box, finding a pipe inside with a large bowl and a stem long enough that the bowl would almost touch the table while he smoked it.
"Now you don't have to say anything. Just fill up that bowl and enjoy. And come over to our place after we finish up here." The coonhound hugged the boar from behind, then sat down and consulted his notes.
The boar started to fill the large bowl from a tartan pouch he pulled from his back pocket, "I'm not going to be molested, am I?"
The coonhound leered, "That depends on you, curly-tail."
The boar blushed as he quietly puffed his new pipe into life and the coonhound got started.
"Gary sat in front of his computer, his flannel shirt unbuttoned and his jeans un-zipped, watching a video. The video featured a middle-aged bear, a bit on the skinny side, doing almost exactly what Gary was doing. The bear in video was stroking his seemingly huge cock. Every few strokes there would be a flash of cock ring showing underneath the bear's balls and the left paw the bear stroked with was adorned with a wedding ring. The video was titled 'Watch Daddy Bear Enjoy His Pipe', and every few strokes, the bear in the video would puff on the pipe in his jaw while he edged for the camera.
Gary, of course, had no pipe. But his own cock was out and he was stroking it. In a lot of ways, the bear in the apartment mirrored the bear on the screen. There were differences, though. Gary was a bit heavier, and his cock was short and wide. To Garry, it always had been a mild source of embarrassment. In the high school locker room, to his furtively wandering eyes, all the other males had huge packages and his always seemed so small. The doorbell jerked him up, almost forcing him to go off as he glanced at the clock on his desktop.
'Shit! He's here!' the bear said, hurriedly zipping up, closing the browser window and hurrying to wash his paws. He rushed over and unchained the door to his apartment and opened the door to reveal a Dalmatian wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with U of F Firedogs and tight jeans.
Jack sniffed, then hid the sniff behind a sneeze. 'Yep... I've definitely interrupted something,' he thought to himself.
'C-come in,' the bear stammered. 'Can I get you anything before we get started on your homework? A Soda?'
'Sure,' the Dalmatian grinned, taking his accustomed seat by the computer and watching the bear head off to the kitchen before pecking at the bear's keyboard to see what he'd been doing. Jackpot! No auto-clear of the browser cache.
'Can you bring out some of those cookies you had last time?' the Dalmatian asked, buying a few more seconds to see the vid the bear was watching.
Gary had been just about to return to the living room of his two-room apartment. 'Sure. Just a sec.' The bear turned back towards his cupboard.
The delay gave the Dalmatian just enough time to start the video and confirm something he'd suspected when he'd chosen the bear as his tutor. He felt his cock grow in his sheath just a little.
He jumped as the bear set the cookies and the sodas on the desk, 'What are you doing!?!' the bear demanded. The Dalmatian was surprised. The normally quiet bear had seemingly grown six inches in height and was furious.
The Dalmatian stood up, remembering he was still a baseball player, and looked the bear in the eye. 'What does it look like I'm doing?'
'I don't know. All I see is you sitting in front of my computer, looking at porn!' the bear almost spat at the dog. 'I ought to ask you to leave.'
'Yeah... sure. And what else? Tell people that a member U of F's baseball team digs male porn? At least I'm open about it.' The dog growled. If he was going to get thrown out, he'd get a few good digs in, first.
'What? Are you suggesting...' Gary was sweating now. The dog knew!
'Yes, I am. I looked that sight up in your browser cache. And I've thought you were cute for months, now!'
Gary sat heavily on the couch. 'I'm cute? But what about your girlfriend?'
'What about her? She left me last week anyway. Nothing personal. It's a Sorority thing.' Jack plopped on the couch, looking up at the bear. 'Sit down. You need to know a little something about Jocks, it seems.'
The bear sighed as sat down next to the dog.
'Now first of all, Jocks keep each other's secrets. So I'm not going to blab about you digging guys, bear. So relax.
'Second, Jocks help each other out. In the locker room, there's always some guy who's just been dumped or is getting the cold shoulder. So a paw-job between friends ain't nothing worth mentioning. Sometimes it turns into a bit of a party.
'And third, especially with weight-trainers, a bit of extra protein-gathering is something a blind eye is turned towards.' The dog grinned at the bear.
'Now, unless you want to start something, I believe I'm paying you to be my tutor.'
The two got started on the dog's Calculus work, but there was a bit of tension. The bear felt very warm each time he leaned over the dog's calculations to fix a problem or explain a theory and the dog had a plan in the back of his mind.
After about an hour, the homework was done and the dog stretched, 'Now... I interrupted something when I came in. Wanna finish it?' The dog grinned.
The bear blushed badly and said nothing.
'I'll take that as a yes...' the dog whispered in his ear and started to massage the growing lump in the bear's jeans.
The bear fumbled with his belt buckle and the dog batted his paws away, 'Let me do that.'
The Dalmatian unzipped the bear's pants and smiled, 'No underwear? Kinky bear.'
The bear tried to say something , but it came out as 'Oh....' as the hard, exposed bearflesh disappeared into the dog's muzzle.
The dog came up for air and grinned at the bear, 'Nice muzzle-loader.'
The dog stood and in a twinkling was naked. The spotty dog had just the beginnings of an in-fielder droop to his tummy. The bear gasped at the Dalmatian's endowment. To the inexperienced bear, it looked huge.
'I-I'm not sure what to do,' Gary stammered.
'Are you really a virgin?' Jack grinned. 'Then I'll have to do something extra-special for you.'
The spotty dog bent over his bookbag, raising his tail and giving the bear a long look at his pink tailhole and firm ass. When he stood back up he held a green condom and some lube. He knelt in front of the bear and unrolled the condom over the bear's stiffness.
'You're gonna fuck me,' the dog whispered and started to lube up the latex-coated flesh and his tailhole.
The dog climbed into the bear's lap and lined his tailhole up with the hard knob that protruded, 'Let me do the work. You'll figure out your part.'
The dog started to slowly push himself onto the bear's fat, stubby cock, feeling it spread him open and fill him up.
The bear couldn't believe the tightness and couldn't believe that he hadn't cum yet. The condom was doing it's job as the dog settled down, the base of his tail brushing the bear's balls. He placed the bear's paw on his dripping cock.
The bear smiled and started stroking the seven inch cock, noting how warm it felt in his paw as the dog started to ride him. After the first couple of strokes he started to thrust with the dog and soon all that could be heard in the room were moans and fur brushing fur.
Jack looked at Gary, enjoying the look of concentration on his muzzle, 'It's okay, bear. You can cum inside me.'
Gary panted, 'I'm getting close, dog. Urg...'
Jack knew the condom was filling with bear seed and stroked his cock fast, causing a spurting fountain of dog cum to spatter his chest and a howl to escape from the dog as the door to the apartment flew open.
Framed in the doorway was a middle-aged female bear, holding a bag of groceries that dropped to the floor, 'Mom?...' Gary started as the door closed.
The bear grinned at her son, 'I was wondering when you'd make a move on that hunky ball player.' "
Everyone at the table blinked. The bear taped the dottle from his pipe into the ashtray, "That fell a bit flat, Chance."
"You think? I came up with a better ending if you want to hear it."
There was a general nod around the table. The coonhoud looked mournfully at the now-cold corncob on the table and began.
"The bear couldn't help himself. He felt his muzzle brush the dog's at he thrust hard into the Dalmatian's tailhole, locking the canine in a deep kiss before wrapping his paws under the dog's legs and with a sheer effort of will, lifting the dog and turning him to the right so that the spotty dog was lying back on the couch without ever sliding his dick from the warm pucker. The bear's nature took over, piledriving his stubby bearmeat into the willing spotty dog hard and fast. Growls escaped from the bear and the dog started to wonder if the bear really was a virgin.
The new angle of penetration caused the bear's stubby dick to grind against the spotty dog's prostate, driving the dog over the edge with a howl as he painted the bear's chest with spoo. The sudden tightness of the spotty dog's sphincter drove the bear over the edge soon after, filling the condom in the dog's tail-hole.
The two panted, the bear slowly pulling out. The condom hit the carpet. The spotty dog sealed the muzzle on the bear in a slow, come-down kiss. 'Well... I guess we don't need to study biology, do we?' Jack quipped.
The bear threw a pillow at the dog, then dragged him off to the shower."
There was a smattering of applause as the four furs adjusted in their seats. The bear got up, "Anyone want a beer or something before Steve gets started?"
Maj nodded, "Yo. A lite beer, because I don't want to drink too much.'
Chance sipped his cider and re-lit the half-finished cob he'd been nursing all night. The bear returned with three mugs, sliding one in front of Steve, waving away the paw that groped for a wallet.
"I told you we'd take care of you until you get back on your feet, Steve."
The boar drained off half the mug and set it down, "Thanks, Ben. But y'all are still making me pay with a story, ain-cha?"
The bear sat down and re-lit his pipe, saying nothing.
"Come on, Steve. Out with the story. I've got a date tonight," called out the fox, who was triming a fresh cigar.
"Upstairs, with some lucky boi-toy that doesn't know you yet? Ow!" piped Chance, getting kicked in the shin for his trouble by the boar.
"Maybe..." grinned the fox, "Actually, I have a date with a woman I met on Matchmaker.com. Gonna try to make my mother some kits to spoil."
"Sure, Mav. Right... A power-bottom like you?" grumbled Ben.
"Seriously! Her husband's been shooting blanks, so the deal is he sinks into my tailhole while I spurt my perfectly good stuff into her." Mav's eyes twinkled.
"All right. I'll believe you. If you invite me to the Bris. Now if y'all are settled in, I'll begin," grunted the boar.
The three other guys nodded and Steve took one last draw on his new pipe before setting it aside to begin.
"The old bear switched on the reading lamp next to his armchair and settled in as the wind and rain outside picked up, spattering the windows. It was going to be an ice storm.
The room was small, but well appointed. One armchair, a desk, and a loveseat for company. There was a fireplace on the north wall where a fire blazed away, knocking off the chill of the storm. The mantle and the walls were decorated by mementos of the bear's life. There was the series of twenty pictures, each showing a successively aging bear in priestly collar, posing with 25 cubs. There was a framed letter from the Pope. And finally, a framed certificate, showing off the bear's PhD.
The bear switched on the radio.
'...freezing rain tonight. Power outages are expected, so I hope all of you out there have candles. And now, more jazz.'
Soft jazz filled the room. The bear reached towards the jar and pipestand to his left, selecting his "reading pipe", a honey-brown briar with a deep bend and a large bowl, the rim of which was scarred from the caress of hundreds of matches. After filling the bowl with care, the bear lit up, tamped down the curls of tobacco that threatened to overflow the bowl, then lit up again before opening his book, wondering when his roommate would return home.
The bear nodded over his book, the warm bowl of his pipe bumping against his chest, staying in his muzzle out of habit, when the door opened and the sound of icy water falling hard entered the room. The door slammed shut and the bear was suddenly awake. The book hit the floor and hot ashes scattered over the bear's furry, shirtless chest as the bear simultaneously patted out any hot embers and placed his pipe on his chair, rushing to the foyer.
There was a crackling layer of ice around the oilskin that wrapped the dog. Even wrapped in oilskin, the dog was soaked through the fur. The dog fell over, exhausted as the bear started to peel off the ice-encrusted coat, cracking the ice to do so. The then pulled off the dog's sopping boots and his wet clothing to reveal a naked, spotted dog. He started toweling off the dog with a blanket, surreptitiously checking out his roommate's package, wondering. He'd quit the Priesthood because he just couldn't deny his sexuality any more, but he'd still not acted on it. Still, the lust felt nice and warmed his paws as he helped the wet dog dry off.
'You're going straight to bed, Jack, before you get any worse. you can tell me about it in the morning,' the bear rumbled, half picking up the damp dog and pulling him to the bedroom.
The bear had just gotten the spotty-dog into bed and was setting the heat on the electric blanket when the power turned off, pitching the house into complete darkness.
'I guess we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way,' the bear grumbled as he stripped off his pants and climbed into bed with the shivering dog, warming him up fur-to-fur. The shivering dog passed out and the bear soon joined him.
Hours later, the power was still no on, but the spotty dog was no longer shivering. He blinked his eyes, took a deep sniff of the chest fur his nose was buried in. He couldn't remember how he got into bed, but he recognized the scent of his roommate. And the pints of liquid courage he'd drunk earlier still loosened him, so he reached over and felt the bear grow warm and hard in his paws as the bear woke up.
'I see I've finally gotten you in bed with me, Father,' the dog slurred slightly.
Before the bear could say anything, the spotty dog sealed the bear's muzzle in a kiss, then snuffled down the bear's chest, inhaling the scent of bear, tobacco, and ashes, before wrapping his muzzle around the stiff bearhood awakened by his paws and nursing.
The bear groaned in wonder at his first blow job in nearly sixty years of life. He knew he should stop the spotty dog nursing on his dick, but the ridges of the dog's hard pallet and his soft tongue immobilized him until, shaking and hips thrusting on their own, he spurted hard, painting the dog's tongue with pent-up seed.
Jack nursed on the bearhood in his muzzle until it softened, eliciting groans from the bear as he slurped the super-sensitive flesh, then crawled back up to snuggle with the bear, his hard doghood rubbing and leaking into the bear's thigh.
Gary wasn't sure what to do next, though years of reading gave him ideas. He settled for stroking the dog's hardness and talking.
'I thought you were straight and divorced, Jack.' the bear rumbled.
The dog moaned, turning to give the bear better access, 'I was, Father. Married, anyway. Susan left me because she walked in on me in bed with a man.'
'Oh. Well why me?' Gary asked, 'And don't call me Father. I stopped being a priest nearly ten years ago.'
'Sorry, Gary. Because you're kind, handsome, and your scent! The combination of your pipe tobacco and your fur makes me want to bend you over and fuck you silly,' Jack nearly ejaculated.
The bear felt himself blush badly and took a deep breath, uncertain about his next move. 'Well, why don't you?' he asked.
Jack was taken aback, very warm himself. 'Are you sure?'
'It'd be my first time, but after 42 years of celibacy, I'm sure,' Gary breathed.
The dog sealed the bear's muzzle in a deep kiss again, then chuckled, 'Roll over, bear.'
The bear rolled over and tried to relax, but he was still tense. The room was suddenly cold without the blanket when he jumped a little at a cold, wet nose touching his tailhole, followed by a warm, wet toungue. Gary couldn't believe getting licked under his tail felt so good as he moaned loudly, encouraging the dog to lick harder as the dog got him ready.
Jack felt like his cock was so hard, it'd shatter like glass as he rimmed the older bear. He wet one pawdigit and gently slid it into the tailhole while licking to loosen the bear up and was met by a tightening, then an encouraging groan as his searching found the swollen nut he was looking for. He slowly added another, and a third before pulling out, hoping the bear was loosened enough and ready.
Gary gasped at the sudden stop in the dog's administrations and gulped, knowing what was next. He was shaking slightly, but steeled himself to commit, trying to relax as he felt the dog's stiffness at his tailhole.
'Relax, Father. And raise your back up a little. I'd hurt you if I thrust right now,' Jack whispered. The bear complied. 'That's better. Now I want you to push out like you're in the woods.'
Jack pushed firmly forward against the bear's pucker and gasped as he slid right in. The sudden warmth drew him in until his knot bumped the bear's tailhole and his balls knocked against the bears. The bear grunted, squeezed as if to push Jack out, then relaxed, panting.
'You okay, Father?' Jack asked, hoping he wasn't hurting the now not-virgin bear too much.
'I'm okay,' the bear gasped. 'That hurt for a moment but I'm fine now. I feel so full.'
'It'll feel a whole lot better soon. Are you ready for me to pump you?' Jack asked.
'Yeah. Do it, Jack. Pump my tailhole.' Gary grunted.
Who was Jack to refuse? He started with slow, long strokes, then quickly grew more violent as he felt the bear pushing back to meet him, soon nearing the edge, his knot pushing the bear's tailhole open wider and wider as he pounded into the bear's tail.
Gary couldn't believe how good the pumping felt, his prostate getting massaged from deep inside, he cock stiff again, drooling on the bed under him as he felt his balls tightening to release another load. He gasped at a sudden pain, followed by feeling even fuller as the dog's pumping became faster and much shorter, then suddenly felt very war deep inside as the dog's cock exploded, painting his guts with dog spoo as a howl shook the room.
Jack hadn't meant to, but thrusting for the first time in five years since the divorce, felt so good, he tied with the bear then came hard with a howl of relief. Then, panting, he reached around the bulk of the bear.
'You've gotta be close, Father,' Jack panted, stroking the bear's dripping cock, feeling the bear tighten then roar as the bear came again, painting the sheet underneath with bear cum.
The two rolled over to their sides, panting. Jack was still to hard and wide to pull out.
'I never thought it'd be so good.' panted the bear. 'Thank you, Jack.'
'I enjoyed it, Gary. Or should I say "Father".' the dog chuckled.
The lights suddenly came on in the room. Jack was startled and now soft enough his knot pulled out of the bear. He watched at the bear got up and gingerly waddled to the door.
'You're going to your bed now, I suppose,' Jack sighed.
The bear said nothing, turning off the lights. Jack rolled over, alone again, when he felt the bed dip.
'Nope. I'm staying right here.' Garry said as he crawled back into bed, pressing his resurrected hard-on under the dog's tail. 'Turn-about is fair play. I told you not to call me "Father". Now I'm gonna drill you like an Alterboy.'
Laughter and applause erupted around the table as the boar finished his story and took a mock bow.
"I guess I'm up next, " Ben rumbled, knocking the dottle from his pipe into the ashtray in the middle of the table.
"Yep," Mav said, sipping the scotch he'd been nursing all night. "And hurry up. I really do have a date in about an hour."
Chance grinned and patted the boar's paw, "I've got a date, too."
"And that leaves me lonely again," Ben sighed.
"Yeah, right," Steve grunted. "You've got a wife and family to go home to, Ben. Though you and your wife *were* entertaining last week. How's your tail?"
Chance and Mav looked stunned. "Uh... I'll tell that story another time, guys." Ben blushed brightly, then cleared his throat and checked his notes. "Here we go."
"Oh no you don't, " Chance barked. "Spill, bear. Or we'll get Steve to embellish the story."
"Yeah. I told about my date tonight, even if you don't believe me. Spill, bear." Mav growled.
"All right... Well," Ben growled, getting irritated, "Steve was over at my place for dinner last week. Afterwards, we were out on my back deck with our pipes when my wife said she wanted to see some smokeplay. One thing lead to another and, well... We ended up in a position where I was screwing my wife and Steve was, literally with that corkscrew-tipped cock of his, screwing me. I came so hard I swear that if Beth gets pregnant, Steve is partially the father. And my tail-hole has been sore all week from the roto-rootering."
"Now can I start my story now?" Ben asked, taking a steadying gulp of his beer and consulting his notes.
" 'You're fucking gay, aren't you?' the elephant demanded.
The bear sat stunned for a moment as the elephant steered the 1974 Gremlin into the parking lot of a drug store and killed the engine.
'Are you going to answer me?' the elephant demanded.
Gary gulped and finally found his voice, 'All I said was that in high school I sucked a guy off once. You asked.'
'You still didn't answer the question. Do I or do I not have a gay boyfriend?' the elephant pressed.
The elephant watched the bear squirm until finally he whispered, 'I don't know.'
'You don't know?' the elephant almost trumpeted.
'I mean... Beth, I've never done anything with anyone. The one time... the guy was twice my weight and threatened to beat me if I didn't.' the bear confessed.
'And he came in your muzzle and you swallowed?' Beth pushed.
'Well... no. Some guy opened the locker room door loudly and interrupted. Not much happened, though I was teased about my hard-on.' Gary bit his lip. He hadn't meant to admit he'd been turned on by the encounter.
'Okay, fine,' Beth sighed. 'Here's what you're gonna do. Across the street is a gay bar. Don't tell me you didn't know about it. You're gonna go in there, and tomorrow, you're gonna tell me about your night.'
Gary sat and Beth trumpeted, 'Move, Gary! Look... I want you to know yourself. You don't have to sleep with anyone. Just find out who you are.'
Gary slowly opened the door and got out. Beth backed the car out of the parking space and Gary leaned through her open window, 'You sure this is what you want?' he asked.
Beth kissed him, 'Yes, Gary. I'll be okay. Now go find yourself.'
Gary stood in the drizzle in the parking lot for ten minutes, trying to figure out what had just happened. Then he sighed and started walking towards the neon sign that beckoned to the east.
The sign read "Bullwinkle's", which, thought the bear, was a good name for a gay bar. The standard joke was that after Bullwinkle came out, Rocky was obviously the top. Not true, as the two were consummate actors. Rocky had a wife and five children, and Bullwinkle was a liberal gay activist. The bar was named in his honor.
Ben hesitated at the door. It was frosted glass and he could hear loud disco inside. He was just about to open the door when he heard, 'Hey Gary!'
Gary jumped and looked around the corner to see a spotted dog in jeans and a leather jacket beckoning to him. Gary shrugged and walked closer, recognizing Jack after a moment.
'Jack! I haven't seen you since we graduated from high school!' Gary exclaimed.
Just then, the line Jack was standing in budged and Gary found himself pushed along into the club. This one wasn't a disco club, but a rock bar. Some hyena was on stage doing a credible cover of Iggy Pop's "Search and Destroy".
The night flew by as Jack and Gary renewed their friendship. It was 2 AM as the two of them left the rock bar, their ears ringing when Jack said, 'Come to my place for a nightcap, bear?'
Gary nodded, and the two shared a cab to the apartment Jack rented. Jack seemed subdued, but Gary didn't want to bring anything up in the cab.
Gary unlocked the door to his apartment and gestured for Gary to go in first, turning on the light. Gary walked into the tiny apartment, seeing a coat stand in the corner and the back of a couch and a TV. Moving in, he also saw an armchair, a full piperack, and a jar within easy reach. The room smelled of tobacco but not smoke.
Jack hung up his jacket and gestured for Gary's coat. Then he started walking to the kitchen, 'Beer okay, Gary?'
'Sure,' Gary said, taking a seat on the couch. 'When did you start smoking?'
'Roommate in college smoked. It was a purely defensive gesture until I found I liked it.' Jack called from the kitchen. He returned with two beer bottles.
The two sipped their beers in silence and Gary could feel a tension until Jack set his beer down and blurted, 'So you're gay?'
Gary was taken aback and grunted, 'No.'
'I think you might be fibbing. Why was you paw on the door to Bullwinkles?' Jack asked.
'Long story,' Gary almost whispered.
'Oh come on, Gary. You're talking to the dog that walked in on you servicing Butch. Look at me. I'm gay.' Jack said.
Gary sighed and sat back on the couch, 'Figures you'd bring that up. How much did you see of that?'
'Just you licking pre off your muzzle after you came off him. I know he pushed you into it. He'd pushed me into it the week before. Now why the dodge?' Jack asked.
'I'll tell... I have a girlfriend Jack. At least, I think I still do. An elephant named Beth.
Anyway, I finally told her about Butch back in high school. And she was like "You're fucking gay"' I told her I wasn't sure and she was like, "You need to find out. Go to Bullwinkles.'"
Then she kissed me and drove off. That's the Cliff Notes version.' Gary confessed.
Jack absently reached to the pipe rack, them stopped, 'Mind if I smoke?'
Gary shrugged, 'It's your apartment. And I like the smell of a pipe.'
The dog filled his pipe and lit up, carefully tamping down the burning, curling tobacco the threatened to escape the bowl before lighting again, then sat back.
'Okay... So you hesitated at the door and I called you over. What were you hoping to find out?' Jack asked.
"'I don't know. I...' Gary stared at his paws.
He didn't hear Jack stand up and stand in front of him, lifting his chin, 'Maybe you were looking for this?'
The dog leaned in and softly kissed the startled bear, licking the bear's lips that parted slightly, before parting with a lick the the bear's nose.
Gary felt very warm and a hardness in his pants, licking his lips at the taste of dog and tobacco.
'I can help you explore if you want, bear. But you've got to tell me.' Jack said, pipe in jaw, leaning over the bear.
'O... Okay,' Gary breathed, not knowing what would happen next.
The dog stood up, placed the pipe back in his muzzle, and started to unbutton his shirt. 'Okay... I'm going to make suggestions and you either say "yes" or "no". You only do what you want. Got that?'
Gary nodded, nervous and harder than he'd ever been in his life, his jeans tented uncomfortably.
The dog knelt, 'I'm going to take down you pants now. Okay?'
Gary gulped and nodded again.
The spotty dog puffed on his pipe and blew a cloud of smoke at the bear's crotch before looking up, 'Ya gotta say "yes" or "no", bear.'
Gary felt his cock jump at the warm cloud and stuttered, 'Y-yes. Do it.'
Jack placed his pipe in an astray and grinned at Gary, 'See? That wasn't so hard.' The dog squeezed the lump in Gary's jeans, 'But this is.'
The dog expertly unzipped the bear and let the jeans fall to the floor, leaving Gary standing in boxers, 'That's nice. Underwear goes too?'
Jack waited, then cleared his throat before Gary cottoned on and said, 'Yes.'
The underwear hit the floor and Jack licked his lips at the hard cock revealed, glistening with pre at the tip and replaced his pipe in his muzzle and blew another cloud of smoke at the now exposed bearhood.
'I'm nervous too, Gary. Can I touch your dick?' Jack asked.
Understanding better this time Gary said, 'Yes. Please stroke my dick.' He paused, 'A-and lick it if you'd like.'
Jack placed his warm paw on Gary's hardness, stroking the smooth flesh and coating his paw with pre before licking his paw clean and setting his pipe aside again. Jack then licked Gary's bearhood swirling his tongue about the base before sinking and closing his muzzle around it.
Gary felt his knees buckle, but managed to remain standing as Jack serviced him. He was speechless as the dog's muzzle came off him with a pop.
'Very tasty, bear. Now I want you to finish getting naked while I do.' Jack licked his muzzle, the started to take off his shoes.
Gary sat on the couch, lifting up his jeans and underwear to get at his boots. When he looked up, his clothes in a pile on the floor, he gasped at the contract of bright red on the dog's black-and-white body.
'See something you like, Gary?' Jack asked, sitting in the armchair, pipe replaced in his muzzle.
'Yes,' Gary replied hoarsely.
'I'm going to sit here and let you...' Jack trailed off as Gary sank to his knees and returned the favor Jack had performed earlier. The bear didn't seem so shy now.
'That's good, bear.' Jack breathed, the pipe in his muzzle staying in place out of good nature. He heard the bear almost purr, feeling the bear's unschooled tongue hit all his sensitive areas. He took one last draw on his pipe, then summoned the effort to place it in a ashtray before groaning and feeling his balls tighten.
'B-bear.. I'm going to,' and the dog gave a soft grunt Gary found adorable before feeling his cheeks bulge and swallowing once with surprise as a slime filled his muzzle.
Gary didn't know what to do, so he suddenly rose and locked his muzzle with Jack, kissing the dog fiercely and spitting the remaining dog cum into his muzzle and Jack swallowed it down.
Jack panted as Gary sat, bewildered. 'I guess you now know that cock snot is an aquired taste. I tried to warn you.'
Jack walked over to the bear, pulling him up and to the bedroom, 'Now to take care of you. If you want.'
Jack waited outside the door. Gary's eyes widened. 'Yes,' he said.
Jack walked into the bedroom, 'Have you and Beth had sex?' the dog asked, sitting on the bed.
He watched the bear blush, 'Well... sort-of. She's gone down on me and let me lick her, but no penetration.'
'Wow... A real virgin,' Jack grinned. 'That's okay. I think you know what comes next.'
Jack opened a drawer on the bedstand and placed a tube in the bear's paw. The label read, "White USP Surgical lube". 'I want you to get me ready, bear.'
Gary gulped, but sank to his knees as the dog lied back on the bed. He licked the dog's balls, then surprised himself and Jack by swirling his tongue around the dog's tailhole, tasting the mustiness and bitterness.
'Ohh...' Jack moaned, 'You didn't have to do that, bear. But keep doing it.' The dog was rock-hard again as the bear laved at his hole.
The bear stood, spreading the cold lube on his fingers and started spreading it on the dog's hole, pushing his fingers in, not sure what he was doing, but amazed at the warmth and tightness. He felt a bump the size of a nut with his finger and the dog twitched and moaned.
'That's right, Gary. Right there.' Jack moaned.
Gary withdrew his fingers and Jack raised his legs higher, resting them on Gary's shoulders. 'Okay, bear. Push into me, nice and easy...' Jack cooed.
Gary pushed in, not believing the tightness and warmth. He sank deep into the dog, feeling the dog's hard-on press into his stomach as he bottomed out.
'Now pump me, Gary. Pump me until you cum deep in my tailhole. I want you to breed me.' Jack growled.
'Yes.' Gary growled back, complying with the dog's command.
Gary pumped at the dog, feeling so close, not believing what he was doing until he grunted, 'Jack... I'm going to cum.'
'That's right bear. Breed me!' Jack howled, his cock spasming and pumping doggie cum, squirting the bear's nose. The sudden tightness of the dog's sphincter pushed Gary over the edge as he reflexively pushed in, spasming deep in the dog's bowels.
The two lie on the bed, panting.
Jack got up, returning with the bears clothes and his re-lit pipe. The silence was awkward. Finally, the dog asked, 'Your questions answered, bear?'
Gary looked up at the dog, 'Can I try you pipe?' the bear finally asked.
Jack wordlessly handed the pipe to the bear and watched the bear take a puff, coughing on the inhale before saying, 'Don't inhale. Just taste.'
'Oh,' the bear said, trying again, the handing the pipe back to the dog. 'Thanks. Just something else I've always wanted to try.'
'I still love Beth, Jack. But what we just did was so good. I think I'm Bi?' Gary rumbled.
'A-any way,' the bear stumbled, 'Can I stay the night?'
Jack smiled as the tension and awkwardness seemed to drain from the room. He placed his pipe in the ashtray and pulled back the bedclothes.
'I'd like that very much, Gary. But you're sleeping in the wet spo... Hey!' Jack exclaimed.
Gary puffed on the dog's pipe, 'What?'
'Put that down and get your fuzzy but in bed, Mister. And get one of your own in the morning.' Jack growled.
Gary chuckled and returned the pipe to the ashtray, then snuggled up next to the dog as the dog turned out the lights.
'Thanks, Jack.' the bear rumbled, 'for everything.'
'No Gary, thank you.' the dog smiled. "'It was my pleasure.'
The two quickly drifted off to sleep."
"Going a bit semi-autobiographical, Ben?" Mav asked, stubbing his cigar out in the ashtray.
"Maybe a little," Ben answered as he got up to stretch.
The rest of the table got up. "It's getting late. Same time next week, guys?" Steve grunted.
"Sure," Ben smiled. "If you can pull yourself away from Chance and his husbands."
The groups drifted towards the door and out into the bar. Stopping outside, Chance held up is paw, "So... same characters next week, but this time Space Opera?"
"Sure," Ben said and Mav nodded.
The group broke up, Ben going left, Mav going right, and Steve and Chance heading to the car across the street.
Later that night, an old bull walked through the back room. The music from the disco was off, leaving an almost erie silence in the bar. The bull reached under the table and pulled off a tape recorder.
"Now to see what you four left me to pay your bar tab." the bull rumbled as he sat naked in front of his computer to transcribe the tape.