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A Bump in the Raod

Chapter Nineteen

By Roofles

When I woke up. I screamed.

Not because of the sharp pain in my chest or side or the fact I was butt naked (I was naked more often in the past few days than I had been in my life, I swear...). But I screamed because when I opened my eyes a crazy ass African wild dog was standing above me, straddling my naked hips with his own and staring down into my face, our noses touching. His was bumpy, wet and breathing against me.

Lewis was in his get up like the first time I met him. That white chalky paint (I'm assuming made from some kind of animal bones) left his face with a milky white mask. The top of his head and ears, along the top of his muzzle and the sides of it as well; as if he had put a skull on his head, leaving large black marks around his eyes magnifying them as he stared at me. And then he smiled.

"Morning sleepy head." And I found myself nearly punching, pushing him off of me. And regretted it the second I did.

Turning on my side I hurled my guts out, coughing my guts out; it danced in my belly and felt as if someone was strangling it as the rang it out. My chest was burning and my side felt as if someone had stabbed me several times. I winced, feeling at the spot as my eyes clamped shut not even wanting to look at the aftermath of it all.

Some strange puke green paste, the same stuff people used as a face mask, had been slathered on my wounds. The same goop was on my chest and back as I slowly sat up. A hand-paw steadied me as Lewis crouched at my side. I swore he was just staring at my groin the whole time. Damn hound dog.

"You know," Lewis said looking back up me, far too slowly for my comfort, until our eyes met. "If you wanted to see me again you didn't have to go an get yourself killed."

"It was a good excuse, though." I coughed the joke out, my throat burned and ached as if I drank liquid fire. My whole body just felt exhausted.

"The best!" Lewis tail wagged and his face grinned, the bone necklace he wore rattling around his neck. His wrists had similar bone trinkets. Arms marked and painted just as his face was, hand prints on his chest with white stripes underneath. Very skilled, intricate patterns had been done on his thighs as if Lewis had used his nail as a brush to do it and spent a great deal out time to dress himself up; that or he was just bored. He wore a loin cloth made out a lion skin (as if to make a point) and had nothing else in the regards of actual clothing.

"Lewis." My voice was hoarse and I swallowed several times. "I was joking." I sputtered, coughing again and nearly throwing up once more. A hand held the back of my head and a bowl of cool refreshing water was placed against my lips like a cup. I drank my fill, coughing half way through before finishing it. It was a little more gelatin like that water but I didn't care.

"I'm dying." I managed to choke out resting back and take slow, heavy breaths. I chuckled though. One thing about pain. It told you you were still alive at least. Even if you were dying.

"Were dying." Lewis corrected standing up. I dared to look and regretted it. Stupid dogs and their hanging sacks. I quickly looked away, why did he even wear a loin lion cloth? Or would it be lion loin cloth? "With my genius, you are saved! I have healed you." He said overly dramatic and crouched down in front of me placing his hands on my shoulders and just staring, very wide eyed, at me. Unblinking. So I blew in his face and he flinched back. Or at least one of his ears flinched.

Lewis hopped over me making me groan as I ducked down. My chest ached and I touched it half expecting to feel a gaping hole there. Or to feel fur. But there was only green paste that had hardened into a mold. It stunk like..feces, urgh. And had suction cupped to my skin like tape, I was not looking forward to peeling it off.

"Where's Marco?" I managed to choke out after giving the room the once over.

It was Lewis's boondocks like shack in the middle of the swampy South. I'm surprised banjo's weren't playing. In one corner were a collection of exotic plants, each looking more viscous than the next. Some were still attempting to strangle the voodoo doll collection the wild dog had, much like someone would collect and display beanie babies. Other plants had large gaping mouths that were drooling something pleasant and sickeningly sweet like pure raw sugar.

Bones of birds, crocodiles and other animals rested on shelves. Shrunken heads hung from the door (each one that of a wild dog matching Lewis, I didn't ask). There was a workbench in the corner that also served as a kitchen table. Rotten meat and food mixed with bowls of herbs and pastes were laid out across it.

A large black cauldron boiled and bubbled in the middle of the room with a sand pit filled with wood underneath it that burned and crackled with a strange fire that didn't burn anything but heated the room making it feel like we were in the Savannah rather than in a swamp.

Underneath me was a large bed and a curtain was drawn to the side. I could smell the wild dog on the loose sheets and tried to ignore the pile of magazines features guys sporting tight fitting briefs and play girls. Romance books were set up on the other side. Erotic ones at that. If I could I would've leapt out of the bed with a loud yelp, not wanting to be in the same spot the wild dog...enjoyed himself on his free time.

The rickety roof above us shook as the wind howled outside and the whole place lurched as it bobbed up and down on the water of the swamp. Home, sweet, home...

"Where's Marco?" I repeated myself as he didn't seem to hear me the first time.

"He left." Lewis said far more disappointed than even I was. His face had broken down and it looked like he was going to cry. "He just left me." I frowned as the drama queen went on. "After all I've done for him, after saving his brother without asking for a single kiss, just left!" And then he made a loud boohoo sound covering his face; then instantly snapped out of it the next second some kind of timer went off and headed into the corner after it with a giddy glee.

I just looked around the room in front of me, glad the curtain was drawn over the outhouse toilet in the corner next to the bed, and tried to look for someone else. "And Varric?"

"Who?" Lewis asked looking over at me. He was holding Clark, his strange chicken with eyes that looked in the wrong direction of each other and had a long serpent like tail with colorful peacock rainbow feathers around it. The chicken "binged" like a timer going off again. Lewis bobbed him on the head with a close fist and the chicken made a strange cluck sound and was promptly dropped to the floor.

Lewis seemed to forget about me, and the chicken who was now flapping around the room, and began adding things into the cauldron. Lizard tails, eyes and bat wings fell into the smoking cauldron. Lewis was just making dinner again apparently.

"And Tezca?" My voice grew soft as I looked around the room. Even closing my eyes, trying to focus and extend my sense; I couldn't feel the jaguar as I had before. I couldn't hear his voice in the back of my head or that constant presence that had gone unnoticed this whole time. Until it was gone.

Lewis didn't even seem to hear me as he skipped around the room, bones rattling and shaking as he went.

I suppose Tezca was gone. Even though he had given me everything. And I took a moment to reflect on that.

And then a bell jingled on the door, each of the shrunken heads making a different bell like sound (except the one that had been turned to stone), and the door swung open.

What stood in the door took my brain several seconds to catch up and process what it was.

Tezca. Though it wasn't at the same time. He looked more like he had in the memories than as the feral jaguar spirit. He stood tall, taller than me at that, and for some reason that annoyed me greatly. Now I'd have to be looking up at him rather than the other way around, though the jaguar had been rather large as it was.

His legs were raised at the heels like that of an animal yet everything else seemed human just covered in that thick tawny yellow fur with black rosettes even along his tail. His chest was white like his under arms, legs and toes and finger tips. Powerful legs at that; making even the great redwoods look like sapling in comparison as those legs held up his even larger form. His waist was a bit thinner around the edges and his stomach sunk in. His hands were large and could easily hold my whole face in it's bone crushing grip. He was wearing a loin cloth that was far more fancy than the pelt Lewis wore around his hips. Tezca arced an eyebrow as I stared at him and I could see a smile pull on the corner of his black lipped muzzle. If I thought he was big before he was massive now. Broad shoulders and an even broader muzzled head looked back at me.

Bracelets of Aztec design made of a reddish gold like clay and metal clung around his wrists and ankles, colorful feathers sticking out of them. A similar one was on the end of his long flowing tail. A far brighter gold belt of multi-square shaped patches looped around his chest around the cloth of jungle green that covered his upper thighs, lower back, hind quarters and over his groin. Another golden belt was looped over the top of it holding it holding it all in place. Though it kind of made it look like a girdle, heh.

"Zip it." Tezca growled seeing the look on my face. "This was the style back then!"

Behind his ears were more of those colorful feathers and from each ear hung square earrings that dangled down with golden weights, like tiny designed punching bags. He did really look like some kind of Aztec god that stepped out of a history book and through the door. And I mean literally through the door without opening it.

"Sure it was." I laughed back at him, then coughed, choking and had to cover my mouth.

A hand-paw rubbed my back as I threw up a bit more. A cloth wiped it away and I looked away in my embarrassment and shame. A tawny yellow fur face was next to mine and it wasn't Lewis who helped me but this man-jaguar. Tezca.

I didn't say thank you, as ashamed as I was. To be seen in this state. You try dieing and coming back and tell me you look good doing it. I'm not Gandalf. Tezca at least had the right mind, seeming to know not to say anything about it and kept rubbing my back.

"I tried to tail after Marco, convince him to stay." Tezca shook his head though and took a seat next to me, not on his hunches, but rear and spread his legs out, open a bit as he relaxed. I'm surprised the whole room didn't shake."Even in this form I cannot stray far from you."

I just nodded and rested for a few moments.

It did seem to help now that he was close once more. The burning pain in my chest was now a dull ache. The sharp stabbing pain in my side, only pin pricks. And my whole body had a pleasant warm...tingle to it. As if that fur was rubbing against it.

"I figured," I managed to hold back a cough. "You would be gone. Or something." I looked at my own hand, my left one where my fingers had been replaced by fur ones before in that dark soundless world. I figured I'd be like Tezca was now, a were-jaguar. Not him being like this. And I expected to never be able to see or talk with him again...

I wasn't sure how to react to be honest. He was bigger than I was. And we weren't connected as before. I was free, in a way, from him. And yet then...why wasn't I happy about that? I'm not sure. I can't even think straight at the moment. So much shit has been going on.

"Sorry," Tezca said and stood up once more. I was thankful he had the courtesy to have an under wrap to hold his...manhood from dangling down like Lewis's was. I don't know what I could do if his was bigger than mine, hah. "I left you in this state." He said softly looking down at me.

I wasn't angry about that. Nor did I expect him to stay. Hell if I was able to finally split I'd be running through the forest jumping with glee at the freedom. Yet here he was, coming back even though he could do just that. Leave. Or maybe he couldn't? Maybe I was indeed reading far too much into this and just...afraid he would leave me, heh. Patehtic, aren't I?

Tezca took a step back, looking over his shoulder, before sitting, directly, behind me. His legs spread out next to mine and I felt his lower chest brush against my head as his arms wrapped around me. At least he made a good pillow like this. I didn't mind as much as I should've. Being held by another guy like this. I guess it was different. Seeing as how he wasn't human or anything.

His grip was strong, secure and had a warm muskiness to it. It made me feel as if we were connected once more. It was nice like he had draped a blanket over my back that had just come out fresh from the laundry. His chin rested on my head and I frowned at that as he ruined my moment of bliss.

"Seriously?" I grumbled and I could feel his face pulling in a grin.

"We'll track him down after you recover. You still need to punch him in his fat face." Tezca chuckled, not squeezing but hugged me tighter. Even if I was in tip top shape I doubted I could've, ever, escaped that hug.

"You're far more...affectionate now." I tried not to make it sound any more awkward than this already was. I could feel a burning blush on my face and had to bite my lower lip to stop myself from enjoying it.

"Affectionate?" Tezca asked pulling back if only slightly to look down at me. "I am just making sure you heal properly." At least he was unaware of the fact that a small, tiny, miniscule part of me was enjoying this.

I didn't reply and he just rested his chin back on my head. Both our eyes watched as the wild dog went about some daily routine he had perfected throughout the ages.

Feeding, watering and adding manure to the plants. Dusting off the shelves and checking on the fire underneath the cauldron. He went over and took a large bite of the rotten meat on the counter and dropped the rest down onto the floor. The chicken waddled over and began pecking at it. Before being stepped on by the wild dog as he made his way around, for like the Fifth time, in the small room. Clark's eyes popped out like one of those stress squeezing men things. Though they didn't cluck when you popped their eyes out.

"He's sort of all kinds of crazy." Tezca said slowly watching him a bit longer.

"Says the massive were-jaguar." I grumbled looking at the wild dog.

"Yup. That should tell you just how crazy he is." Tezca just smirked as he played off of it.

"What happened to Varric?"

"The cat"? It was odd to hear the jaguar refer to him as a feline, even though he himself was a feline... It was just odd when you actually hear something like that. Like me calling Marco a human. Well bad example, I'm not even sure he could be called one anymore. Or that I could either...

Tezca went on not seeming to notice my dilemma. "He disappeared shortly after you got stabbed. Not sure where he disappeared to." And it sounded as if he didn't care about it either. Tezca didn't seem to like Varric, maybe it had something to do with the cat holding the medallion for so long without ever wearing it. I needed to ask him about that actually.

"What about Yue Ling?" I asked and got a rumbling growl in reply. I could feel the chest behind me shacking like a tremor and even without looking knew Tezca had bared his fangs. A nasty, frightening sight I was glad I missed.

"She fled." Was the only reply I got. I didn't push the subject. The phrase don't poke the bear seemed to also apply with massive jungle cats as well. Hell I rather poke a bear than piss off Tezca. Even a three headed dog, werewolf and giant serpent god couldn't stand up to him. What luck did an average Joe like me have?

"How long will it take to recover?" I asked the cat but got a reply from the dog.

"Depends." Lewis said slicing up a carrot that looked like a banana but bled like a tomato into the cauldron.

"On?"

"If your spirit will assist you or not?"

"Tezca already is. I think." I asked looking back at the cat who nodded and then to the dog. Could Lewis not see him or something?

"Tezca who?" Lewis asked not even looking.

"The giant were-jaguar in the room."

Lewis frowned. "That's not funny." And it took me a moment to realize he thought I had been telling a knock-knock joke. You know that headache I always got when talking to him? I was getting it again.

So I closed my eyes and rested my head in my hands. "Can no one see you again?"

"Well you can. So someone can." Tezca said as if looking on the brighter side of things. HE gave me a headache as well.

"Lovely." I chuckled lightly and rested back against him. "I'm insane again. Talking to my imaginary friend."

There was a sharp prick against my chest and I jumped slightly as Tezca poked me with one of his nails.

"That felt real enough?" He chuckled and I elbowed him in the chest. He didn't even flinch back as it connected with his side. Stupid were-jaguar's and their stupid strong, firm, musky fur bodies that served well to rest against.

"Two steps forward, four steps back." I grumbled. We were suppose to move away from each other and now we were square back to where we had started. I wonder if I bled on him he'd take a solid form again and stop harassing me. No... He'd just harass me physically at least this was only mental rapage.

"I told you we were bound. More now than before. Before it was only spirit. But now," he growled almost intimating. "I'm inside you." I shuddered at that and he gave that coughing roar like laugh. A strange sound that did and didn't fit the jungle cat.

"Don't say that." I looked away trying not to blush at the already awkwardness of this all. And of course Tezca made it worse as he gave me another strong but controlled squeeze with both his arms and legs and I was too aware of the fact he was wearing only a cloth over his groin.

"All the way in. Pulsing and pumping and growing as I fill you up. From the inside." And as he said that I could basically hear the song fuck you like an animal.

"You wish." I said giving him another quick jab with my elbow and a chuckle hoping, praying he was joking.

He might've been in my head but damn if he didn't have a solid chest. He was more ripped than I was. Bigger with more muscle, taller and able to hug me like I was just a large teddy bear. Tezca was enjoying my indignation on the matter far too much.

"Lewis." I asked a bit louder than I meant too as Tezca muzzle began rubbing up and down against my cheek, his whiskers scratching it and overall being irritating as all hell. "It's not possible to extract Tezca from me... but could you give him a physical form or body? Separate from mine." That way he'd stop psychologically harassing and mentally raping me. And just do it...physically. Well fuck, I really couldn't win could I?

"A body? Tezca? Who?" Lewis looked at me, tilting his head to the side those large ears standing up and dull brown eyes looking at me like a stupid puppy. When you see something cute, like a seal, you wanted to club it? That's how I felt when I looked at Lewis.

"The jaguar spirit." I said jabbing Tezca once more with my elbow. "Fuck off," I snarled at him who just chuckled in return.

"I could fuck on." Lewis said clearly not noticing the fact I was talking to the Seven foot plus tall jaguar in the room. He was really good at ignoring the metaphorical elephant in the room. That or Lewis was just stupid. Both were reasonable, believable answers.

"No, no. Never. Ever. Ever." I made sure to put great force into each word hoping to make sure it sank into his head. Lewis just looked at me as if he hadn't heard. "Can you or can't you give him a body?" I repeated.

"I can't. No. That's beyond me." He said the last part waving through the air as if talking about the night sky in a melodramatic fashion a charlatan might use to con someone into believing them when they told you the future. And even after everything I've seen, done and knew... I still didn't believe those frauds. "But you can!" He added breaking my thoughts.

I looked at him much as I had done with Tezca when he told me to eat his, still pumping, heart. It tasted like chicken. And crunched like an apple if you were curious.

"What do you mean." Cautiously weary, I asked. I had too long of a day(s) with little to no sleep. I wanted nothing more than to rest back against the fluffy chair that was Tezca and go to sleep for the rest of the month and the next. "Do I even want to know?" I asked more to Tezca and myself as I groaned loudly resting my head once more in my hands and covering my face.

"Well you've already done it before didn't you?" Lewis inquired. "Marco told me what happened with Temo,"

"Tezca," I corrected.

"Timmy was able to manifest himself into the real world." Lewis just went on not even stopping though he corrected, sort of, Tezca's name. "That shouldn't be possible unless you, yourself, can do it."

"And how did I perform such a feat, pray tell." I asked trying to get a straight answer for once in this crazy world. Life is never so easy with the people I associated myself with. Looking back at Tezca, the large jaguar just shrugged. Great. Some help he was. The all knowing jaguar about random facts of spirits and nastiest but couldn't be a source of useful information.

"How am I suppose to know that!" Lewis nearly shouted, barking a laugh afterward and then giggling like a school girl. My god. I hated him. I would love to pick up the chicken and smacked him with it a few times if I thought it would've jarred his brain a bit into working properly. Like a good smack on the side of a computer. Hell I wanted to do it even if it didn't help him.

"He's referring to when the hunter attacked with the construct." Tezca said looking down, I looked up and our noses bumped. He snorted against my face much like a rhino would do before it charges. Ok maybe him just in my head would be a lot safer without bringing him back to the physical world.

"That was an accident. I don't even know how I did that." I said looking back down at Lewis and all but ignoring the jaguar. Or attempting too. If a giant jaguar is man handling and molesting you from behind its seriously hard to ignore. "It was your damn voodoo doll that did it!" I said nearly giggling as Tezca tickled my sides. I swatted at his hands.

"What?" Lewis voice caught in his throat and truly it looked like he was offended by my comment; he took a step back, eyes going wide and his lower lip quivered just enough without being over the top. Damn, he would've made a great Shakespearean actor. "I would never!" He said the last part high, scoffing and turning away quickly to look over his collect, his shoulders falling with him and nearly slumped against the display case. He deserved the emmy. Lewis picked up a doll, that look far too similar to myself, and petted over its face. "They only store souls, unable to conjure them."

"Well yours did." Blunt. Maybe Tezca was rubbed off on me and not just on me.

"After you bled on it." Tezca corrected. And I continued to ignore him.

"After I bled on it." I still said anyways frowning as Tezca smirked.

"Well blood is the medium for a lot of things. Connects it to ourselves and the physical plain of existence. In which we live." Lewis said like a professor would in front of a class at Yale or something before dumbing it down for my sake. "Using it as a base is the most practical way for one to invoke a spirit from the Neverever."

"So by accident I did it?" I frowned. That really didn't help me. Was I suppose to bleed on Tezca or what? "Look. I'll deal with that later," I got up and was a bit wobbly on my legs but Tezca supported me. I'm not really sure how a spirit can but whatever. "Where'd Marco go? I have something to punch him." I got light headed from standing up to quickly and swayed a bit. I was a little too aware of my whole nakedness once more.

"He left." Lewis shrugged.

"Well how do I follow him?" I spat like venom at him, giving him a snarl due to the pain.

"You don't." Lewis said flatly.

"Look. Don't tell me what I shouldn't do or the risk its going to be or any of that bull shit. I've had enough of it." I scowled, glaring at the wild dog, little good as it did though. It felt nice to vent.

Lewis just shook his head back and forth his large ears flopping against his face as he did so not even seeming to notice I was angry at him. "No you don't understand. You don't. As in you can't."

"What?" I snapped taking a step and nearly falling face first on the floor. I felt an arm wrap around me, holding me up before guiding me back onto the mattress. "I need to...get out of here." I coughed and got another bowl of water in return. Tezca was far slower with it than Lewis had been. And I was greatful for that.

"You really should rest. The whole dying thing took it out of you." Tezca said softly and I felt a pink padded thumb rub against my cheek as he wiped away a tear I hadn't even known I shed.

"Yeah. If only life was that simple." Coughing a bit I faced him. "Look just possess me or whatever, use your body to get us out of here. Whatever works. Then we'll find Marco. Punch him. And sort this all out."

Tezca held his tongue, heh...a cat holding it's own tongue that's a first. It hurt to even chuckle. Before reaching out and touching my chest with his large palm, Tezca never strayed his eyes away from my own. It covered my whole chest before it melded with it. A fucked up sight I won't lie as his very body just slipped over my like a glove, draping over my back like a pelt before tightening against my skin like a warm, musky leather jacket that was two sizes too small. I could feel his blood outside my skin before it became...one. It felt as if his very body was crushing me before, finally, it subsided and as I opened my eyes. I was Tezca.

Or he was me. Not really sure how that worked.

Lewis watched with a bored fascination like a scientist testing a reaction. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for it to be done.

"So where's the exit?" I growled standing up.

"The doors right there. But I'm telling ya' you can't get out the way you came."

I took a step, the whole building lurching with my extra weight, before stumbling and hitting the wall hard. The whole shack lurched on it's side and I found myself wincing.

"You need to practice, baby steps." Tezca voice said in the back of my mind and I could actually feel him roll his...our eyes as he spoke.

"Thanks for the warning, dick." I steadied myself against the wall and looked at Lewis who hadn't even really moved as his house nearly tipped over. Everything slid perfectly to one side and as the shack resettled itself they slid back nothing even falling over. Maybe there was some kind of sanity to this disorganized place. "Then please," I purred the word through clenched teeth. "Tell me how I get out?"

"Don't look at me." He shrugged. "Ask the swamp guardian how."

I swear if it was yodo I'm going to just go to bed and never wake up.