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My life with Eevee chapter 2

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-the cover art is what I imagine Styx and Max look like

-prepare yourselves

-I'm not gonna tell you what you should be prepared for, just be prepared.

-PREPARE!

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"Sterile?" Cloe gaped, completely taken aback by that admission.

"Basically" I muttered disinterestedly, having long ago come to terms with my infertility. I didn't like kids anyways.

"It's the result of DNA damage that occurred when I was conceived. At least that's what the doctors say" I yawned, beginning to drift off. 11 pm isn't the best time to be playing board games. Cloe sent me off to bed, after she beat me at the game that is. I found myself sitting in my bed, max curled up in a ball near the door, sleeping peacefully. She's a heavy sleeper, able to stay under during an earthquake. Dad's Blaziken was hanging out in here because Helios was doing one of his weekly cleaning sessions in their room. You heard me. I sort of just stared at the wall for a while, contemplating the meaning of life. As I saw it, you're here because a trillion to one chance event occurred and we all ended up evolving from pond scum. My insane dad says we're here to, I believe 'fuck shit up' were his exact words. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a sound I should have recognized immediately.

"Ziken" came a feminine groan from the floor next to my bed. I leaned over slightly and was greeted by a terribly arousing sight. Dad's Blaziken was on the carpet masturbating. She had her eyes closed, one hand fondling her breast and the other dipping fingers in and out of her sex.

"Oh my god" I whispered to myself, looking away with a fierce blush. I was against the whole pokephilia thing, but no amount of that mindset made it any less arousing. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't bear it, listening to her pleasure herself, but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt her. I tried my best to calm down, trying to quell my raging hormones. I was disgusted by the erection growing in my jeans.

"Please go down" I groaned, probably a bit too loudly. I realized too late that Blaziken wasn't moaning any more.

"I know a way to make that go down" she purred seductively, slowly unzipping my pants. I was shocked, terrified. Then something occurred to me, she was talking.

"Cloe did you set this up?"

"No" she said from the other side of my door. Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do with her. Oh god that sounded wrong. I groaned at my own perversion, which Blaziken must have taken as a sign of encouragement, as she immediately took my entire length in her mouth. Man it felt good, but god I hated it. I couldn't believe I was letting this happen. If I were a religious person, this would have been an abomination.

In future "Cloe tells me you don't think this is ok" Blaziken said matter-o-factly, stopping her treatment of my groin.

"I just. I don't know what I feel"

"We Pokemon have a saying. What feels right, can never be wrong"

"Ok" I sighed. I couldn't say I was ok with this, but I resolved to stop fighting it. Blaziken was right. She smiled, knowing her words had gotten to me. Although I was aware that she had just made that saying up on the spot.

"Oh and could you tell Cloe-"

"Yeah I'll do that"

She straddled me, dripping juices that were hot, unusually so. If the heat that came off max was intense, her's was unbelievable. As a fire type, and especially one of her caliber, I shouldn't have been surprised. She plunged suddenly, and I was wrapped in a burning vice. The heat was unbearable at first, made even more so by the friction of her movement, though I eventually adjusted. I could feel the warmth from her flowing through every inch of my length. She groaned loudly, very loudly. I made a quick check that my door was closed, not wanting a repeat of last time. She felt heavenly, that wonderful heat, more than making up for her lack of tightness.

"Ziken" she moaned, no longer under Cloe's influence. It felt wonderful, her moving over me. Every so often the impact with my pelvis would make a wet squelch. I couldn't speak for her, but I hoped I made her feel half as good as she made me. I like to think that makes me a considerate lover, but perhaps not. I placed a hand on her breast, rubbing it sensually. Her fur was soft, smooth. She cooed when I circled a finger around her nipple. She felt exotic, or what I considered to be that. I'd never been with a real woman, so I had little to color my impressions. The sensual nub protruded from that beautiful mound of flesh, stiffening with every touch, every caress. I kissed it, her nipple. As ridiculous as it may sound, she tasted of cinnamon. I wrapped my lips around that nub, tongue circling as my finger had before. Her nipple dropped a dollop of what I assumed was milk on my tongue. At the time I didn't, even consider the importance of that fact.

"Blay" she moaned, and moved me to the other breast. The walls of her sex continued to ripple over me, and it was delightful. It went from base to tip in a slow practiced motion. Combined with her quick raising and lowering, it's a wonder that I lasted as long as I did. I erupted in her suddenly, filling her womb with pointless seed.

"Ken" she tutted disappointedly. She tapped me on the nose in a gesture that I assume meant 'do better next time'

"Sorry" I blushed. A deep crimson. I rarely feel self conscious, but this was an exception. She chuckled and kept going. The feeling this time around was altogether different, I had her natural lubricants, not to mention my own seed. It seeped out around the edge of her opening with every move. At first I was creeped out about going again without washing away the evidence of my first session. It seemed gross to have it all over me, even if it was my own. I got over it though. Not because I didn't care, but because there were better feelings to worry about. If I weren't balls deep inside her, I might have had the brain function enough to be weirded out by the fact that me and Dad had sex with the same Pokemon. Her walls spasmed suddenly, indicating her closeness to orgasm. One would think her first would come before my second, but I was still sensitive after the first round. I exploded inside her, letting out more than the first time, if that's even possible. She came, crushing me almost painfully.

"Blaziken!" She cried, almost loud enough to hurt my ears. I had just enough time to zip up my pants before things went sour.

"Vee" came Max's voice from the foot of the bed. Me and Blaziken both wigged out, practically hitting the ceiling. Max was sitting there on the ground. There were tears running down her cheeks, soaking into her fur. Dad's Blaziken edged out of the room awkwardly, leaving me to fend for myself. Jerk. Evidently Cloe was back in business, because the next thing max said to me was something I understood better.

"I-I thought..."

"I thought you loved me" she cried. The fur of her cheeks was soaked with tears. I was now faced with a serious dilemma. I did love Max, but not in that way. At least... I didn't think so. I was confused, and not sure what I thought.

"I... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings Max." I said to her. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Max was special to me, no matter how conflicted I was. I moved forward to hold her, to hug her, to give her any sign at all that I did indeed love her. But she backed away from me, and I couldn't blame her. It hurt, knowing I couldn't even get close to max, physically or emotionally.

"I'm sorry."

--now we see what Patrick is up to. I bet you're exited.

"Patrick! Where did you put my throwing shoes!" Demanded Becky, while I sat on the couch.

"If I told you I'd have to kill you" I laughed.

"GOD DAMMIT PATRICK!" She shouted, then just sighed. She was about to lay into me again when Max ran out into the living room and jumped up in my lap. She was shaking, and her cheeks were wet. Me and Becky shared a look, we knew immediately that something was wrong, though we didn't know what. Styx walked out a few seconds later, staring at the ground like he did something wrong. I hugged Max, trying to make her stop shaking. Becky was concerned about Styx, while I took care of Max.

"Sweety, what happened?" Mom asked, wrapping him in a hug of her own. Either through personal experience or some sort of witchcraft, I already knew what was going on. It was rather obvious at this point.

"It's ok max. Everything's gonna be ok" I tried to be soothing, but I knew nothing I could say would affect her. The only person she needed to hear from was Styx.

"I'm so sorry Max" Styx said. At this point I became aware that Styx was crying too. What was going on between these two was rather clear, though the specific details were still rather fuzzy. Apparently Cloe was also a part of it, because what Max said next was in a language I understood.

"What does she have that I don't?" Max cried. I knew Styx had done something stupid, but now the picture came into focus. There was another woman in this, and I was loath to find out who.

"Is it because I'm small?" Max was sobbing, and I understood why. As a parent it's my job to stand by my kid, but even I had to admit, he screwed up big this time.

"No Max, you're perfect no matter what size you are. It's my fault, not yours" Styx was digging his way out of the hole he was in, hopefully he wouldn't bury himself again.

"Then do you just not like me?" Max had gone from sadness to anger now, which I know from experience is the most dangerous step in the dance of regret. Styx reeled like he had been punched

"How could you even think that. I love you max"

"Then why?" It was Becky that asked the question, much to everyone's surprise.

"I don't have an answer, and I don't have an excuse. All I can say is that I'm sorry, Max" Styx practically fell into a sitting position.

"Ok." Max said. She was hurt, and it was going to take a while for her to be back to normal, but for now the issue was over. I was already aware of Styx and Max's 'activity'. For him to turn around just a few hours later and go at it with someone else, I understood why Max was so upset. It would take a while for her to get over this.

--back to Styx again

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I need your help dad" I said, sitting across from him at his old chessboard. This is where he thinks, this board. He got it from his father, who got it from his father, and so on for /supposedly/ over a hundred years.

"The only thing that can fix this now is time, Styx. You just need to give it time." He sighed, rubbing the top of the black queen, which he does whenever he's contemplating important life decisions. Each significant piece has a thought, and the pawns have emotions. "The board of the world" he calls it. His answer was unsatisfactory at best, though I suppose he was still right. The only way to resolve the issue is to give it time. I never was the patient type. Which is also why I don't invest in the stock market.

"But for now, I think it's best that you get some distance from Max for a while. So I think you should come hang with me for a while" he offered, leaning back in his chair. On the one hand, this would be an excellent way to see what dad does in his free time away from the house. On the other hand... Yeah I got nothing.

"It's decided then! I'll clear my schedule" he picked up and shook an etch a sketch full of gibberish.

"That's your schedual?" I asked incredulously.

"No, of course not. It's for comedic value" he laughed. And, despite myself, I had to laugh with him.

Dad's schedual turned out to be nothing but 'whatever the hell I want' written six different times, which I had to give him props for. It seemed everything my dad did was for the sake of being hilarious. Whether he did that on purpose, or he was just naturally ridiculous, was actually a really good question, and I asked him.

"A little of both" he chuckled. Tomorrow was going to be a very interesting day, filled with hilariousness and insanity.

"We should start by burning something" Dad said, tapping a pencil on his clipboard impatiently. We sat in the living room at eight in the morning, dad snacking on a loaf of bread.

"We've been over this, we aren't burning anything" I sighed. All seven of his ideas so far involved destroying things, which shouldn't be as surprising as it is. Dad is freaking nuts after all. I mean, he has a huge refrigerated vault in the basement filled to the brim with orange cream soda. That's not normal.

"Then maybe we should just go for a walk" he suggested. At first I though he was being sarcastic, but it turns out he was completely serious. It's just impossible to get a read on him sometimes.

"So whatever happened to your old eye?" I asked him, as we walk down the street. We had already stopped at some of the local stores, including the place Dad refers to as "the explosive kitchen" which is actually a diner, not an explosives manufacturer. He used to work there apparently, and the cook is a nut job who cooks everything with ridiculous amounts of fire. That explains why Dad worked there.

"I replaced it with this glass eye like six years ago." He chuckled.

"I've got a whole collection of ridiculous glass eyes. I've even got one that looks like a kaleidoscope" he laughed. He got a glass eye for no other reason than that kaleidoscope eye. He's really quite nuts. We wandered around for a while, before we came to an old partly rundown shop that sells knickknacks. The name of the shop was worn away to unrecognizable paint lines.. The place is guarded by a Houndoom named Crowley, which is only slightly less obvious than naming him Cerberus.

"Nice to meet ya kid" Crowley said, his voice deep and guttural, but also overwhelmingly friendly. A strange combination, to be sure.

"How is he talking?" I asked.

"We have an Espurr around here somewhere that translates for us" he responded, roaming around aimlessly. True to his word, I caught a glimpse of an Espurr peeking out from behind a shelf at the end of the aisle. When I looked directly at it however, it ducked back behind the shelf.

"She's a shy little thing" Crowley laughed, a deep booming laugh that struck fear into my soul.

"Please don't ever laugh again" I shuddered.

"That's what everyone says" he laughed again, much to my dismay. I decided to get away from Crowley before he started again, and the closest source of entertainment was chasing after that Espurr. Dad, not at all to my surprise, was already doing that exact thing. The Espurr ran away with her arms flailing, running back and forth in between aisles like a scooby doo chase scene. It was adorable.

"Hey wait for me!" I laughed and joined in. Me and Dad eventually cornered her in this one aisle, the shelves forming walls and her trapped between us. Then, in a little puff of smoke, she was gone.

"In my experience, that's the end of the chase" Dad laughed, taking a moment to catch his breath. The shop owner just sat behind her counter and tried not to burst out in a fit of laughter. This was apparently not an uncommon show. Dad went back to browsing the store, while I went to go do the same in a different direction. Every single item on every single shelf was the kind of stuff that literally nobody could possibly want. Except my dad, but he's insane.

"Hey don't bad mouth your father, he's my best customer" said the shop owner. Apparently I had been talking out loud.

"Are you kidding, I'm you're only customer"

"Shut up" she laughed. I shook my head. Everyone Dad hangs out with is a crazy person. I was examining a rusted waffle iron when I felt a tugging on my pant leg. I turned around to see the adorable Espurr looking up at me.

"Uh, hey..." I began, raking my brain to try and remember if I had heard her name. Then, a thought forced it's way into my head, and smothered anything else I tried to think of. Susan.

"Susan?" I asked. She nodded, clapping her little arms together happily. I realized something, she was supposed to be avoiding people, so why was she confronting me? Again, thought forced itself into my head. _ You need my assistance. _ Then she pointed her tiny arm towards a door, which she then ran off and disappeared into. When I opened the door everything in the room was different shades of purple, and the main accessory, a queen sized bed, was no exception. She was spinning around happily, like a ballerina

"This is not at all what I expected" I muttered, looking around at everything. For a third time, thought forced itself into my head. I can imagine.

"Can't you talk?" I asked, still looking around the room. There were at least fifty stuffed animals in the room.

"I... not... can't... well." She struggled, mouthing the words awkwardly.

"Thats fine" I shrugged, smiling. S orry, I'm not used to talking to people. she giggled, also telepathically.

"So... What did I need your help with again?" I asked, just then remembering the reason I came in here. I apologize in advance for this. she said, before something in my mind rose up and blacked me out.

I awoke with a groan, and the first sight I saw was not what I expected to wake up to. I was being raped. Susan was bouncing up and down on top of me like a jackhammer, writhing in pleasure. In an attempt to free myself from this predicament, I was made aware of restraints on my wrists and ankles, making escape all but impossible. _Yes. _ Susan groaned, sending telepathic signals that I doubt she realized I was receiving. _ O _ h god he's so big. she moaned. She only had my tip inside her, bobbing on top of it. She was tiny, so much so that I'm amazed even the tip actually fit inside her.

"What the hell are you doing" I grunted, pulling against my restraints furiously. I moaned unintentionally, pleasure beginning to override my other senses. _ I apologize again, but -oh god- but I haven't done this before and I was on fire and- _ she cut off, suddenly clamping down on my tip. Her cunt started rippling over me, milking me for what her body desired. _ OH MY GOD. _ she exclaimed. Even with her lack of coverage, I was pushed over the edge. I started spraying inside her, filling her till it started to flow out around her. My restraints came lose, apparently she had been holding them together with her psychic abilities, no longer able to sustain them under the stress of orgasm. But it didn't matter, I had no intention of escaping.

"My god you're tight" I grunted, and she blushed furiously. _ P _ -please Styx, d-don't say things like that. she was embarrassed. Even now, she was very shy, which actually made her all the cuter. Dammit brain, stop saying things like that. I barely know this Pokemon, it's not the time for me to be getting sappy. Y-you think I'm cute she asked, still wrapped around my cock. She was as far down on me as she could physically get, but I wasn't even half inside her. Her vagina was very shallow, it seemed.

"What!? No, I mean, what I meant was... Yes..." I blushed, deep crimson, avoiding eye contact. She kissed me on the cheek, and immediately turned away. I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. she said softly. I put a hand to her cheek.

"Yes. You should have" I kissed her on the lips. Deep. Passionate. Intense. I pulled back away from her. We were connected by a strand of saliva. I hadn't realized I was kissing her for so long, but it had to have been minutes at least.

"I... lo... I love... you" she mouthed, smiling happily.

--let's get back to Patrick

A rusted waffle iron, now that's just not safe. A rusted dagger, that makes me want to cry. A Russian nesting doll? I could use one of those. Bag of ball ball bearings? Sure, why the heck not. Empty zippo lighter? Yes. Weird looking thingamado? Absolutely.

"See anything you like" Crowley grinned, knowing full well I had. This is one of my regular stops, and I always find something useful. Ball bearings, for example. Coat them with some magnesium, some napalm, they make beautiful shrapnel. Russian nesting doll? It's cool to play with, good decoration. Empty zippo? Zippos are cool. Thingamado?... Uh... Pass. This place is full of wonders! Oh god he's so big. A thought presented itself from nowhere. What was up with that? Weird. Styx, d-don't say things like that. The voice in my head was undoubtably feminine, and whoever it was, was talking to Styx. I may or may not be absolutely insane, well actually I know I am, but I haven't imagined conversations in my head for at least four years. The only conclusion is that I was hearing a conversation I wasn't supposed to be hearing. And based on what I'd heard, Styx was having sex again.

"I'm gonna go, uh, check out some of the things over there" I pointed at a shelf over by the back. I don't know why, but something just said there. When I got to the back, I heard a conversation for real, confirming that I was not going crazy...er...

"I love... you" said the female voice. I've heard that a lot lately. It was coming from the other side of this door that I never noticed before now. I cracked the door open just the slightest bit, and peeked in. Styx was inside, having sex with the shy little Espurr that always hides from everyone. I immediately closed the door again. The less I see of that the better. There are at least eight ways that I could react to this situation, and six of them involve fire. The other two are actually sane, so let's go with those. I could barge in on them, but in all the two times he's had sex, that's happened for both of them, I'd prefer to not make a habit of if. The other plan? Wait, possibly forget all about this, but also possibly bring it up at a later date for no particular reason. That one sounded simple, so I went with it.

"What's goin on over here?" Crowley asked, completely oblivious to the situation.

"Uhhh, has that Espurr been acting strange at all lately?" I asked him, which was a very suspicious question actually, but he made no notice.

"Nothing beyond what she usually does" he shrugged, or the dog equivalent of shrugging.

"Anything else weird?" I asked, Crowley still not finding any of these questions suspicious. He's a nice guy, but he's a bit slow when it comes to picking up on social cues.

"Well... There has been this strange scent floating around the place..." He puzzled. Strange scent floating around, a Pokemon who usually avoids everybody spontaneously having sex with someone she's never met. It's very obvious what's going on.

--back to Styx, about ten minutes later.

"So... what... we... do... now?" Susan asked, looking up at me with a big smile on her face.

"I don't know" I shrugged. My life is just one giant ass ball of confusing. First Max, who I've had since I was a kid. Now Susan, who I've only just met. Why am I so desirable!? I had to laugh at that. If only human women liked me this much. Then again, women are too damn complicated.

"I'll... Talk... Mar... Margrette" she smiled, before running out the door at top speed. I could only assume Margrette was the shop owner. I followed after her, and found her talking to a Raltz in the corner of the shop. It's amazing that I never noticed the little one before. They were having what I could only assume was a psychic conversation. Susan suddenly turned around, smiled up at me happily again. _ Margrette says I should go with you. _ she smiled.

"Uh, I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean Margrette, she's-" Margrette is a boy! Susan pouted, crossing her tiny arms adorably. _ Everybody always thinks he's a girl, he doesn't like it. _ she kept pouting, even stomping her tiny feet. She is so freaking adorable! She ran off again, this time towards the shop owner. They had a conversation, full of adorable flailing by both parties. I walked over to observe at a closer angle. Susan stopped talking to the shop owner and wrapped half of my leg in a hug.

"Missy... say... I... go... you." She squeezed down on my leg, which succeeded in being cuddly and adorable.

"Wait, what?" I was slightly dumbfounded.

"Susan doesn't actually belong to me. She just wandered in one day and started hanging around the store. If she feels like hanging around you, by all means she can." The lady, who's name may or may not have actually been Missy smiled.

"I admit, I'm gonna miss having her around, even if I only ever saw her when she was peeking around the shelves. But if she's happy, I'm happy" she smiled again. Susan licked her cheek and jumped up and latched herself in a hug around my neck. I fell onto my back from the impact, laughing all the way.

"It's decided then!" Dad laughed, practically coming out of the woodwork as usual. He seemed a bit too enthusiastic about this, even for him. Something was going on here, but I didn't have the time to contemplate it.

"See ya later doll" Dad winked at Missy.

"Not even in you're dreams" she laughed. We left the shop, Dad carrying all the useless things he'd bought.

"What was that about?" I asked, referring to his exchange with Missy.

"She's an old girlfriend of mine. I just like to mess with her" he laughed. Not sure what Mom would think of that. We fell into silence at that point, walking along quietly.

"She really is shy isn't she" dad chuckled, referring to Susan, who was clinging to me like a kid to their mother as we walked home. She was adorable, looking off at everything that moved, and clinging tighter to me when we passed other people or Pokemon. It occurred to me that she may actually have been scared of all these people. I payed close attention to her when we passed people, and she genuinely seemed afraid of them.

"Styx" Dad whispered, nudging me in the arm. He had noticed it too. She trailed off. I'm just not used to people. she chuckled nervously, gripping my leg.

"Don't worry about it" I said. Despite my reassuring, not to mention that of Dad, she remained very much apprehensive.

As we arrived back home, Susan having loosened up some, we opened the door and went inside. Immediately, Cloe rushed forward and picked Susan up, hugging her excitedly. "Ohhh, he's so cute!" She giggled, Susan flailing around terrified.

"Not... boy" she pouted, trying to gnaw through Cloe's arms in order to escape.

"Oh!" Cloe exclaimed, accidentally dropping Susan in the process, who hit the floor with an oomph.

"I'm so sorry. I thought you were a boy" Cloe apologized. The next person to come out and see Susan was Dad's Blaziken, who greeted her with much the same enthusiasm, and also mistook her for a boy.

"Ziken" she chuckled nervously. Next was Markus, who also thought she was a boy.

"Not... Boy!" She muttered, clearly frustrated. She plopped down and crossed her arms with a huff.

"Not... Boy" she continued to pout. We all had a good laugh, much to her dismay. After that Liamus came out to meet her, also mistaking her for a boy. I was noticing a reoccurring theme. Next was mom.

"Well, hey there little lady" Mom smiled, patting Susan on the head.

"Not boy" she muttered, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Of course you're not a boy. What idiot thought you were a boy?" mom chuckled. Susan took a moment to to point at literally everyone in the room, myself included.

"Yeeeeeaaaah, I thought she was a boy too when I first saw her" Dad chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. Susan proceeded to pummel dad's leg with her tiny arms, which was more adorable and funny than painful or fear inspiring. Mom had to facepalm.

"You're all idiots" she sighed. The last person Susan had to meet was Max, who walked out of the hallway and stared at Susan with a "who the fuck is this?" look. Susan did much the same thing, until eventually they were standing in front of eachother having a tense staring match.

"Purple cat" Max growled.

"Brown chihuahua" Susan retorted.

"Big ears!"

"Tiny dog!" Susan muttered, which turned out to be the worst possible thing she could have said. Her size is a subject that you absolutely never bring up with Max. Or any other woman... Ever... Seriously, for your own good... In an instant they were rolling around on the carpet in a fight that was equal parts terrifying and adorable. It took the combined abilities of everyone there to pry them apart.

"Ok, both of you. Rule número uño, no fighting. You're free to have arguments, we all do, but if I see that again, I'll skin you and wear you as coats" Mom said, laying down the law.

"Rule number two, you're free to have 'activities' whenever you want, but keep it private" she said.

"Ac... tiv... activities?" Susan questioned. In that instant, every person in the room vanished, road runner style.

"She means... Uh...." I chuckled nervously, trying to think of a delicate way to phrase it. Max whispered something to her, and Susan started blushing so intensely you could see it through her fur.

"Oooohhhh" she continued to blush.

"Sex"

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-usually I try not to add in too many of the new generation Pokemon, because they started to get ridiculous. But I love Espurr. :3