FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Copyright 2005, Cole Rhead [[email protected]](%5C)

Distribute freely, so long as the text, including this header, is unaltered and never sold.

I request that I be contacted just to let me know whenever this is posted somewhere new for distribution.

I welcome and invite all comments, criticism, questions, and suggestions.

This is a continuation of Aiden's Story. If you have not yet, please go read it at http://www.yiffstar.com/index.php?pid=4435

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We were greeted by the scent of flowers and spices the moment we opened the door into our room. Cool air blew out through the open door, a welcome relief.

We had spent the day wandering the twisted, crowded streets of Jaran, the hot sun shining on our fur throughout. We had long, leisurely meals of wonderfully exotic food in outdoor restaurants under canvas canopies. We lounged on the soft, well groomed grass beside the river that meanders right through the middle of the city. We swam and played in the water together, where the handful of tourists either hesitantly or enthusiastically joined the small crowd of locals in their acceptance of public nudity. We had a wonderful day.

This city was poorer than any of the ones we had been in before, but it was what I thought of as a stable poverty. In my travels with Sam, I'd observed that there are essentially two kinds of poverty in the world. The unstable variety fosters desperation in people, producing crime, violence and suffering as people struggle to survive. In the stable variety, however, people learn to cooperate and live simpler lives, less dependant on consumption and material possessions.

I have a great deal of respect for the people who live in these stable poverties. They often seemed to have a greater respect for nature and for each other, and in my experience always welcomed outsiders to experience a taste of their way of life.

Here it is even common practice to trade food, items and services for each other without money, an idea that had previously been unheard of to me. For example, Sam earned us our lunch by teaching a restaurant's cook to prepare her favorite snack. We earned drinks to go with our meal by agreeing to take a bowl of the cook's new special along with us, offer a taste to people, and let them know where they could get more. Sam even exchanged some of her own clothes for an outfit of handmade clothing fitting with the styles and materials of this region.

Still, the people here are not immune to the forces of economics, and one could have a wonderful vacation in this place without working at all if he were willing to pay for it. Of course, using money still proves necessary much of the time, but it seems these people's minds are made to think in terms of exchanges, not numbers.

Another thing that Sam and I kept finding we had to adjust to through our travels was local laws and customs about feline pets. This city tolerates feline pets like myself fairly well, but our status as animals is strictly enforced. To be in Jaran, I was forbidden from speaking and required to wear a collar and a pair of pawbinds whenever I was in public places. Pawbinds are simply pieces of leather or fabric made to fit around a felines' paws and prevent the fingers from being unfolded, making them useless as hands. Sam bought me the most comfortable pair, little more than a set of straps that slip between my paw pads and around my fingers, fastening around my wrists.

It annoyed me that the law applied such requirements that had absolutely no purpose except to exert the canines' dominance over my race in one more way. That was something I should have been quite used to, though. My own body is an expression of that dominance; otherwise I would walk on two legs as an equal with the canines. In the end, though, I really couldn't blame these people for anything more than what I had already accepted as a fact of life.

Still, the pawbinds were quite effective. I tried just to see if I could, and I wasn't able to free the straps on my paws without the use of my fingers.

The only thing that really bothered me, though, was that I couldn't speak with Sam throughout the day. I often wanted to ask her questions, make suggestions, ask for something I wanted, and discuss whatever came to mind as we often did. Fortunately, she had always been very good at reading me, and she still talked to me, asking me questions I could answer without speaking.

For that night Sam had secured us a room at a small hotel near the center of the city. The local hostel did not allow felines, and the only suitable place to camp nearby was where we slept the night before, a half day's walk behind us. Sam was prepared to splurge a little and pay for the room, but it seemed her reputation of being helpful and educated got around town. In the end she got the room free, in exchange for agreeing to help the manager write a set of advertising brochures in the morning. I was just happy to have a soft and private bed to share with my Sam that night.

Every once in a while the generosity of the people in this city stuns me. An outsider with skills or possessions that are rare and valuable to this place can easily find his day filled with pleasant surprises as long as he's willing to share. Our room, once you got past first impressions, was actually quite simple, but simply beautiful, unlike anything I could have expected.

Flower petals lightly fragranced with spiced oils blew past us as cool, humid air blew out the door to our room. The air was a welcome relief from the hot, dry air of the city. Inside, the room was only perhaps twelve feet by twenty-four feet big, but it was more than we needed. The walls were stone, cut smooth and covered in painted murals, colorful scenes of nature and community traditional to this region. One wall, left blank, was covered in a sheet of water trickling down its side. A horizontal crack in the wall near the floor formed a small lip that caught the water and drained it away. Two lights at the top of the wall shone down at it, and the reflection that lit the room was a warm, gently rippling glow. The floor was completely covered with an enormous down quilt, probably twice as large as needed just to cover the area, its edges fastened to the bottoms of the walls.

At the far end of the room, a circular hole went through the quilt, the wood floor, and into the stone below. The space was filled with blankets, more down quilts and pillows, so soft and deep that your body would sink in below the level of the floor when you laid down inside. It was just big enough for someone to stretch out without touching both sides, but to me it looked ideal for two people to cuddle together.

We both stood there at the entrance for several moments, stunned by the beautiful, cozy little room before us. We slowly stepped in and removed our bags from our backs. Sam closed the door behind us and we both spent the next several minutes just looking at the murals, the water, floor, and bed without saying a word. When I tried to step into the bed, I was surprised as the sheets sank in under my paws and I fell in, caught the next instant by the most exquisitely soft place I could imagine.

Samantha laughed, stepping over and crouching at the side of the bed. "This is so beautiful! I've never seen anything like this before." She smiled down to me, reaching in and stroking my cheek. "Thanks for being so patient today, Aiden. I love this city, but I wish they were more accepting of you."

I grinned up to her, reaching over and gently grabbing her hand, pulling her into the bed pit with me. Sam let out a squeal of surprise, laughing as she landed in the soft mass of cloth, feathers and leopard. I hugged her tightly, pressing my lips against hers and giving her a kiss. "It's well worth it, Sam. I loved it here today, too." I smiled, relaxing my arms around her and giving her a longer, softer kiss. "I'm quite comfortable being your pet, Sam. Having to wear things that enforce that don't offend me."

Sam unbuckled the straps around my wrists and removed the pawbinds along with my collar, tossing everything across the room. "Maybe you should be offended, Aiden. You shouldn't be treated like an animal." She kissed me again, her hands gently closing around mine, slowly unfolding my fingers and massaging my palms.

Two bottles of water and a tray of food had been left for us beside the bed. The tray consisted of a variety of small, thinly sliced meats, cheeses and breads, still fresh and hot. After Sam released my hands, I reached up and took the tray, setting it down on a flat spot across from Sam's body. I folded pieces of meat and cheese into a slice of bread and fed the little morsel of food into Sam's happily accepting mouth. "To these people, I am an animal," I replied. I smiled and opened my mouth to accept a morsel of food from Sam's fingers. "Mm, thank you," I said, after swallowing. "Don't you remember that memorial we saw this morning?"

The memorial I referred to stood in the town square. Enormous bronze statues of heroic canines dotted the square, some in military uniform and holding rifles, some bare but for torn clothes and a knife held ready in their hands, some with nothing but their own fur and bare hands. Each stood defensively in front of children and females, protecting them from the feral feline beasts that had burned down their city. The felines were smaller than the heroes, but all sculpted as masses of angular muscle with frightening claws and snarling teeth bared, ready to attack.

The scene was quite moving, especially when I noticed, with considerable surprise, a special statue hidden among the others. A bronze, adapted leopard, features gentle and realistic, cowered away from the attackers along with a woman and a child clutching onto his leash. It was obviously an unauthorized addition, put in with great care long after the construction of the memorial. My kind did not exist during the War. It had been allowed to remain, though what exactly it was meant to express was unclear to me.

"Of course I remember it, Aiden," Sam replied. She picked up the tray, setting it up beside the bed again. She looked back to me, caressing her hand down my chest and over my belly. "I never thought of you as an animal." She kissed the spot between my bottom two ribs, her hand stroking down my flank. "I finished reading your journal today." She looked up into my face. "You never told me that you loved me like you wrote in there."

I smiled to her, caressing a hand over her cheek. "I remember you loved me the moment you first laid eyes on me, the night of your tenth birthday. You never said anything, but I always knew." I gently held her cheeks in my hands, rubbing my fingers over her neck. "I never wanted to interfere with your life. All I've ever wanted was to be there with you while you lived out your own life."

Sam frowned slightly, looking at me in disbelief. "Aiden, how can you really mean that? What do you mean you don't want to interfere? The things you wrote were incredible. I.. I knew you loved me, but I never imagined it was that kind of love."

"Samantha," I said, my use of her full name catching her attention. "I love you more than my poor writing could ever say. I even love you for the way you have never seen me as anything but your equal. But the fact is, I'm a pet. It's impossible for me to ever become anything more than that.

"I've had a great deal of trouble with that fact in many times of my life, but I've always come to the same conclusion. I'm sure my opinion would be different in other circumstances, but my life has been wonderful. I wouldn't trade getting to sleep cuddled beside you every night for all the freedom and power in the world. I can't imagine a better way to live than to share life with you.

"But," I continued, pausing for a moment. "I realized long ago, I could hurt you with that love. If you knew exactly how I felt, you would never have had some of the experiences you sought out in recent years. I know that you one day want to meet a handsome wolf, you want to marry on a grassy hilltop, you want to have children, you want to do so many things with your life that you could never have if you devoted yourself to me."

I smiled at her expression. "I have read everything you've ever written many times over. Whether you know it or not, you tend to reveal all your fantasies in your writing.

"Anyway, I always thought that if you knew just how I felt about you, you would naturally want to give yourself back to me. That decision would either have to be kept secret, or be abhorred by everyone around you. If you live normally, we would both be happier."

Sam frowned, her ears lowering a little as my words took a few moments to process. "Aiden.. You can't ask me to just forget how you feel about me."

I smiled, shaking my head a little. "Don't. Please don't forget that. I wrote what I did knowing that you would read it. I thought it was time. All I'm asking is that you continue to live life. Meet boys, flirt, make love, fall in love, have children of your own, make your own family. All I will ever ask is that I can always be there for you."

Sam hugged me close, pressing her face in against my neck, holding me tight for a long time. I held my arms gently around her, softly caressing over the back of her head. I felt her tears soaking through my fur.

When she finally pulled her head back again and looked across into my eyes, a wide grin spread on her face. Passion in her eyes, she gently held my head in both hands and gave me a long, loving kiss until I felt dizzy with lack of breath. When she finally released my head, she suddenly stood up above me, looking down at me with shining eyes and a smile.

The outfit she exchanged for that day was simply stunning. I had never seen anything like it. A fine, crimson red cloth hugged low on her hips, wrapped around her body under her tail and navel. A small strip of cloth fastened over her tail, covering where it joined her back. Below her hips, the sides were cut away, so the cloth tapered down to two six inch wide strips, one in front and the other in back, both coming down to the level of her knees. A pair of fine silver chains were woven into the two bottom edges, their weight the only thing keeping the two strips of cloth hanging between her legs from moving freely.

Sam's chest was covered with a wide strip of leather of exquisite softness and elasticity, meticulously stretched and shaped to fit her flawlessly. It hugged close to her fur, perfectly shaped to conform to every curve of her body and breasts. It stretched just a little with her every movement, fitting almost like a second skin over her fur. By her request, it was decorated in black ink over one breast with a leopard spot, copied directly from my side.

The last piece of Sam's outfit was my contribution. A silver chain, two inches wide and very thin, hung around her waist. One side stayed up on the left side of her waist while the other side hung down lower around her right hip. The chain was shaped so that it would fit naturally that way.

The overall effect of the outfit was to draw in your eyes and not let them go. Her clothes maintained her modesty, but the way they hugged close to her body and moved along with her offered just enough hints of what lie below to fuel the imagination. Even I, intimately familiar with every last detail of her body, found myself staring at her, admiring the curves of her body hinted at by the clothes.

In this town, such an outfit on an attractive woman was nothing out of the ordinary. But the way she attracted eyes and smiles from men and women alike made it seem as if it was. I was thankful that in this part of the world, cultural respect for women was such that Sam's safety was guaranteed as long as she stayed in public places where local men, always eager to help, were close at hand.

I laid on my back, watching Sam as she seductively swayed her hips, caressing her hands down her bare sides and belly. Her hands stopped over the clasp of the silver chain around her waist, unfastening it. She carefully lifted it in both hands, leaning over and setting it down beside the bed. When they returned into view from over the rim of the bed, each hand held a small piece of chocolate. "Eat this," she said, and I opened my mouth to accept the chocolate as she reached down to give it to me. She set the other on her tongue and took it into her mouth, allowing it to slowly melt.

There was something spicy, sticky and slightly bitter mixed into the incredibly rich chocolate, as if the chocolate was only there to mask its taste. I held it in my mouth and allowed the melting chocolate to run down my throat, without a word of question.

Lately Sam had started becoming more adventurous and imaginative when it came to sex. I was interested in trying new things myself, but she always seemed to have a greater imagination and more ideas to draw on. I always encouraged her to satisfy her curiosities with me. Many of our experiments didn't turn out to be as nice as we hoped, but every once in a while we found an amazing experience.

Samantha closed her eyes and continued her slow dance, swaying her hips back and forth, caressing her hands over her body. Slowly, she lifted one hand to the back of her neck and rubbed slowly while the other moved up her body. She freed the two leather straps under her raised arm, suddenly releasing her top from around her body. She tossed it aside, and then caressed her hands over her newly bared breasts.

I had been quite aroused ever since Sam first laid down in the bed with me. To be perfectly honest, I had been quite aroused for most of the day, especially after our time by the river and after Sam showed me her new outfit. The fact of my self-ownership gave me a wonderful degree of control over my body, though, and I was able to keep from showing my arousal until Sam laid down with me.

It was quickly moving beyond mere arousal, though. My mouth, throat and stomach felt warm and tingly, everywhere the chocolate had touched. My loins began to ache, throbbing with pressure. Overwhelming desire seemed to tingle through every nerve in my body. But my limbs felt heavy, discouraging me from doing anything but lie still and watch Samantha.

I gazed up at her, admiring the way her long, smooth, and very fit muscles moved under the grey fur of her lean, graceful body. The scent of her arousal filled the room stronger and sweeter than I had ever experienced, her chocolate presumably having a different but similar effect on her body. I felt as if I were hypnotized by the beautiful contrast of the soft, gray furred curves of her body against the red cloth between her legs, both swaying slowly above me.

Sam turned around so that I could watch as she slowly unfastened the strip of cloth over her tail, revealing where the cord of muscle joined her back, one of my favorite spots on her body. She bent over, holding her tail high. Maddeningly, the cloth covered her perfectly, the fine material only giving hints of the shapes it draped over.

Sam's hands set down on her thighs, slowly sliding up her legs until they lifted up the red cloth around her hips, showing off her long, strong legs all the way up to her hips. The cloth shifted suddenly as the top of the three clasps holding it on around her waist was released. The top folded down a little with the release of the second clasp, exposing just a little of her beautiful rump. She stood up straight again, her tail lowering slightly just moments before the release of the final clasp. The fabric slid down her leg, hanging by the last clasp, still in her fingers. She tossed it aside.

A slight moan escaped Samantha's lips as she rubbed her hands over her body, hips still swaying with slow rhythm, tail moving side to side, giving only the slightest glimpses between her legs.

When she turned around, at last showing me her entire beautiful body, my body could no longer stand it. I let out a moan as the ache of pressure in my loins grew stronger, fluid trickling from my body and beginning to wet the fur of my belly.

The next thing I knew, Samantha was kneeled beside me, her breasts brushing over one of my thighs as she leaned in to groom clean my belly with her tongue, even as the slick fluid continued to trickle onto my fur. I moaned again at the sensation of her tongue sliding over my fur. My sense of touch was extremely hypersensitive, but not painful. It felt as if her tongue was sliding over my entire body, every inch tingling with sexual energy. She gently nipped at my belly, and for an instant my overwhelmed mind worried she might swallow me whole.

My body was shaking and my heart raced. Everything was too intense. I was getting scared. "Sam, I.. I..." I struggled the find the words to express what I was feeling, but nothing came to me. My mind refused to work properly.

I panted heavily, the room beginning to spin around me. I felt like I was suffocating. My heart pounded in my chest, my head throbbing and aching with each beat. I breathed heavier, gasping for breath, panic creeping in around the edges of my mind. I struggled to find something solid to touch, something I could hold onto, but I couldn't find anything. I began to feel like I was floating in space, lost.

I had a vague sense that Samantha was trying to hold me down, trying to calm me. There was fear in her voice.

A strong hand held my throat, choking me, pressing the back of my head against cold metal. Another hand gripped tightly around my mouth while two more slipped a leather muzzle around in their place. With a sharp tug, its strap was drawn tight, and then fastened to the metal post behind my head.

My arms were already secured to horizontal posts coming out at shoulder level from the one my head was against. Straps held them at my elbows and wrists. Down below, straps looped around each ankle, each with a short rope fastened near where the vertical post sunk into the concrete floor.

They sprayed something in my face this morning, before I had been forced into the long series of airplanes and other vehicles that made up my day. It made my nostrils burn and made it difficult to see. I couldn't focus on anything farther away than my elbow. Anything farther was just a blur. I never got to see where they brought me; I never saw their faces or caught their scents.

"This one is special," I heard a voice say somewhere in front of me. "We've been pursuing him for years. He's been causing a lot of problems and our goal was just to get rid of him." I could hear a grin in his voice. "But myself, I believe he would make a perfect pet. He may be a challenge, however. He knows our process and he's developed numerous ways of producing resistances to it. This is why I have invited you all to observe."

I watched as a metal hook came into the small range of my vision, held by white-furred hands. It touched my neck as it hooked around my shirt. An instant later it was pulled down, the sharp inside edge easily slicing though the fabric of my shirt. The same was done for the arms of my shirt and both legs of my pants. The ruined fabric was pulled away and tossed aside.

I shivered at the feeling of the cool air against my body. I felt ashamed as I was stripped naked in front of... how many people? I could do nothing to cover myself. I was so tightly bound I could hardly even wiggle my arms.

"They are lightly sedated to make them easier to handle, but it's still very important they be well restrained. He's also received the D-30 spray I discussed earlier, and he is very nearly blind right now." I followed the sound of the man's voice as it moved closer to me, toward my side.

"The process begins with this." Sadistically, the man held it right in front of my face so I could get a good look. A large syringe filled with a silver liquid, like mercury, and a short but heavy gauge needle on the end. It disappeared again into the blur of distance. I growled and struggled as a moment later I felt the sharp needle pierce my skin, just inside my elbow. I turned my head to watch, just in time to see the last of the silver liquid disappear into my body. The sensation was like fire slowly spreading through my veins.

The man was still talking about something, but I was too busy struggling and trying to scream through my securely closed mouth to catch any of it.

I coughed and shook my head as a bucket of cold water was thrown on me. I quickly lifted my head from the ground, but immediately regretted it as a wave of dizziness came over me.

What happened? I felt cold stone beneath my body. Had they released the straps? I felt sick all over, the pit of my stomach aching painfully. Maybe that injection... what was it?

"Drink this, quickly." I frowned, lifting my head again to look up at the voice. It took a few moments for my eyes to focus, but the wolf looked familiar... where had I seen him?

"Drink it, Aiden. It will help you feel better." Still disoriented and confused, I looked up at the second voice. A gray wolf, a young woman, so beauti-- Sam! She pushed a glass with just a tiny amount of liquid into my hand, making sure I had it before letting go. "Go on, drink it."

I downed the contents of the glass in one swallow, and then only got a brief moment before I lost it and the rest of the contents of my stomach into the bowl that had quickly been slid under my head. After a few dry heaves, I felt a pair of arms close around my body and gently roll me away from the bowl, setting me back down on my back on the stone street.

The familiar looking wolf looked down into my face and eyes with a worried look on his face, but my dizziness was already beginning to clear. He smiled softly. "Sorry this happened to you, boy. If I'd known she'd be sharing the dragon's milk with you, I'd have warned her about what it does to felines." His voice stood out sharply in my mind. The local accent is a bit harsh, more from the back of the throat than any other I had heard before. His voice, on the other hand, was smooth, educated, accented from another part of the world. The memory of his face nagged at my mind. It was so close, but I couldn't seem to get a hold on the memory.

Sam slowly wiped a warm, wet cloth over my face, then wiped my mouth and chin. I let out a deep sigh as the cloth helped clear my head. It felt wonderful. She smiled and offered me a small white candy. "Just a mint," she promised. I opened my mouth and accepted it. I didn't need her reassurance; even after what happened, I still trusted her absolutely. She leaned in and kissed my nose, holding my cheeks in her hands. "I'm sorry, Aiden. Jhoren has offered to pay for another night here, if you want to relax another day before we move on. Does that sound good to you?"

I rolled over and got my paws on the ground, standing to stretch out my body. I was feeling much better than just a minute before, but I still lost my balance and stumbled a little before lying down again. "Yes, that sounds good," I said, thinking of the many miles to be crossed by paw on the next leg of our journey.

I looked up at Jhoren again and the memory finally surfaced. He and Sam met earlier that day, during the time we spent by the river. He looked like a local, and he seemed to know the city by heart. He bought Sam a drink, and then she insisted on buying him one in return an hour later. They talked, stretched out on their backs on the grassy shore of the river while I napped between them, my head resting protectively on Sam's belly. He recommended the hotel to us before we parted ways.

Sam softly stroked a hand over my head. "Come, let's all go inside. Can you walk, Aiden?" I nodded softly, struggling to stand back up on my paws, still wobbly and dizzy. I stumbled again, but before I could fall, Jhoren's arms closed around me and lifted me up.

I felt vaguely insulted to be picked up and carried by this stranger, but I doubted I'd have been able to manage the short walk on my own. I let out a soft sigh and rested my head against his chest, too tired to hold it up on my own. He was strong, to be able to carry my weight with so little difficulty. His fur smelled good, something subtle and natural I couldn't place, almost like cinnamon. I had to admit he was an attractive wolf. I think I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke in our room to the sound of laughter, politely muted with respect to my sleep. I opened my eyes slowly, finding myself curled up in a small nest constructed of pillows and blankets in the corner of the room. Red and orange sunlight poured in through the narrow windows along the top edge of two walls- sunrise.

I cautiously rolled upright and lifted my head, but the wave of nausea I'd expected never came. I stood, my balance recovered, and stretched out my body. I'd never been so thirsty or hungry in my life.

The soft sounds of conversation stopped abruptly when I peeked my head over the edge of the bed pit. The two wolves inside looked up at me and smiled, asking me how I felt. They were both lying on their backs beside each other, both still fully dressed. Jhoren was dressed the same as he was earlier. Sam, though, had at some point changed into a pair of shorts and a white shirt. I couldn't remember if she had changed before or after we were all in the back street. It didn't matter- I admit I often found myself thinking defensively of Sam, but I was comforted that they were both dressed as they lay in bed together.

Sam smiled up to me. "We've been up all night talking. Jhoren has invited us both to go spend the day at his home. It's about half an hour up the highway, right on the beach. He's even arranged for transportation, so you don't have to walk too much today."

I frowned slightly. It sounded like a very nice plan; I liked the idea of spending the day relaxing in the shade of a comfortable home overlooking the beach. But I was still uncomfortable with the idea of Sam getting in a car and going home with someone she had only met the previous day. We were very far from home, in a part of the world where law enforcement is famously vulnerable to corruption, and I was capable of doing very little to protect Sam. "We'll miss the train ride we have our tickets for, Sam," I said, looking down into her eyes. The tickets weren't good for another week and we could easily make up the time, but it was the only excuse I could think of. The best I could do was give her an opportunity out and leave it up to her.

Sam's eyes looked right back up at mine. She recognized my hidden protest and she was sure of her decision. "Jhoren felt so bad about what happened to you, he offered to upgrade our tickets to first class for any day we'd like to leave."

I nodded slightly. I was worried, but I always trusted Sam in the end. Her judgment of character was uncanny. She could read me as if she could see my thoughts, but her intuitive sense of people seemed to work for everyone. I smiled, turning my attention over to Jhoren. "How generous. Thank you."

Jhoren left soon after and brought back breakfast for everyone, including a double portion of food and extra water for me. Sam sat beside Jhoren, both of them cross-legged with their backs against the wall, and I lay on the floor facing them. I could see their attraction in each other clearly, the way they automatically sat beside each other, the way they looked at each other, the way they picked at each others meals and they way they laughed and talked.

Of course, that attraction certainly wasn't hampered by the fact that they were both wolves. Compared to every other breed of canine, wolves seem to be relatively rare in the world. There are small parts of the world where wolves are in majority, but virtually everywhere else they comprise only a percent or so of the population. To me, wolves are the most beautiful breed, and I admit it is likely to be my own bias at work here, but they seem to me to be particularly intelligent, confident, and charismatic. A somewhat disproportionately high number of wolves are in public positions in politics, famous performers, or famous athletes. It seemed to me, at least on a subconscious level, wolves are an admired breed.

But, it seems to me, nobody admires wolves more than other wolves. Now and thousands of years ago, wolves have always had the strongest families. While wolves are generally perfectly comfortable living among other breeds or even loving and making a family with a different breed of canine, there is an undeniable tendency in them to prefer the company of fellow wolves. Despite their relative rarity, most wolves marry other wolves. One of Sam's grandmothers once worked out that Sam was purebred by at least six generations.

I feel like I'm stating the obvious here, but that's no matter. The purpose of this journal is to help me order my thoughts and record my experiences, and I have no plans to share it with anyone but Sam. Sam, as you read this, please understand that I was never anything but happy for your relationship with Jhoren. I admit I felt some jealousy, but that was purely my problem to get over.

Jhoren was quite handsome. He was built like a swimmer- enormous paws, strong legs, long back, soft ripples of muscle up his abdomen, strong chest and back and arms, and large hands with long fingers. There was not an ounce of fat to smooth the muscle on his body, but at the same time his build wasn't the slightest bit bulky. His face was soft and friendly, but at the same time filled with confidence, intelligence shining out behind his eyes. His fur was dark, a charcoal black that changed to a light gray that ran from under his arms, across his chest and tapering down to a fine point low on his belly, following the thicker fur on his body.

We took a long, leisurely breakfast, enjoying the cool comfort of the room and each other's company. Jhoren seemed to be trying to focus his attention on me that morning more than Sam, though his mind was still clearly pulled in her direction. He asked me a lot of questions about myself, everything from what I liked to eat and do at the beginning of the conversation, down to more difficult questions as the conversation progressed. Among many other topics, we discussed for a while what properties I admired in females, we discussed how I felt about the history and current situation between canines and felines, and we discussed what I would like the world and my life to be like, if it were entirely up to me.

These sort of hypothetical questions were difficult for me, but I tried to think carefully and answer them as truthfully as I could. The last one was especially difficult. For virtually my entire life, what I desired more than anything was simply to be with Sam, and to have the comfort of knowing I would have that luxury for all of the foreseeable future. I did my best, though, always trying to answer openly and thoughtfully, and Sam and Jhoren always seemed satisfied.

After glancing at his phone when it made a small chirp, Jhoren smiled and stood up. "Our ride is here," he said, and opened the door for us. By that time we were all long since done eating, and even I was beginning to feel restless.

The car waited for us outside, its driver standing before it as we came out. He wore a crisp black suit and sunglasses, absolutely impeccable despite the oppressive heat of that day.

He and the car were a strange sight in the place. Nobody in this town could afford to own their own car, let alone this long, black machine that promised luxury with its dignified understatement of an exterior. Having servants in this part of the world isn't quite the unimaginable luxury it is back home, but it was still clear that Jhoren was fairly wealthy.

"Ordinarily, I hate being driven around." Jhoren smiled. "But I doubt Aiden would have been very comfortable trying to hold onto the back of my motorcycle. Fortunately, it means I was able to arrange a bit of a surprise for Aiden here." As the driver took our bags, Jhoren stepped before us and opened the door in a gentlemanly fashion that came so naturally to him one might imagine it practiced from birth.

I only caught sight of the warm amber eyes glowing inside the darkness of the car for an instant. In a flash of black fur, I was knocked over onto my back and securely pinned down before I even realized what happened. I found myself staring up at a feline face covered in perfectly black fur, white teeth contrasting sharply as she laughed out loud. She grinned and licked my face. "Aw, you're too easy!"

Jhoren just grinned. "Aiden, I'd like you to meet Dalia. She joined my family as a cub the day I was born, and she's been my best friend ever since. That's why you and Sam caught my attention yesterday, after I saw you two playing by the river."

Cubs of my kind are very rare. It's rare for a feline female to become pregnant, and even rarer that she be allowed to carry the cubs to birth. As I understood, it was almost always the result of the female being deliberately paired with a sexually capable male for the purpose of producing cubs. Over the years, I'd received several invitations to be such a male, sometimes for a considerable amount of money. Sam even encouraged me to accept a couple of them, but I was never quite comfortable with the idea.

The process is carefully monitored by BlackPaw under the pretense of prenatal care, and of course the cubs must all be given an implant like mine and daily visits from a BlackPaw trainer. Producing pet cubs makes memory-wiped adult pets such as myself seem cheap in comparison, but it allows the pet to never have to go through the adaptation process or memory wipe, and allows the owners to train and bond with the pet from infanthood. For an instant, I envied Dalia for never having to wonder about a previous life.

Dalia stepped off of me and nudged me impatiently. "Come on! We're going home. It's hot out here and I want to go swimming!" She turned and disappeared into the car in a single graceful bound.

She was beautiful. Before that moment, the only person that had ever stunned me with her beauty was Sam, but I was speechless even as I watched the panthress go. I glanced up at Sam, but she just gave me a knowing smile that said as clearly as if it were spoken, 'go on, have fun, it's only fair.' So I climbed inside the car to join her.

I had only ever met one other feline since the end of my training, aside from Dalia. She was a cheetah, in need of a grooming, and only just intelligent enough to cheerfully fulfill her job of assisting her old, nearly blind owner. I was disappointed by the experience.

I laughed as Dalia grabbed hold of me and rolled us both over onto our sides. Cuddled behind me, she groomed my neck and ear while she asked me questions. "I heard I'd get to meet a cute leopard today! What's your name? How long are you and her going to stay with us?"

I laughed and rolled over to face her. Without missing a beat, she continued her grooming over my face. I answered her first two questions and a dozen more, all the while unable to hold back a wide smile as I enjoyed her grooming. She was, of course, exceptionally friendly, outgoing, and gorgeous in my eyes, but she also seemed quite intelligent. She told me about travels all over the world with Jhoren, about her adventures joining him climbing and sailing and flying. It almost sounded as if she rarely went inside, even preferring to sleep on a hammock outside the house.

The weeks that followed were the best of my life.

I am ashamed that I have not kept up with recording them in this journal. These memories are so precious to me that I must have them written down; I cannot trust my mind to allow them to fade away as all memories do.

Fortunately, now I can wait a short time longer than normal before I must hide away from distraction and write in this book. With Jhoren's gift, I will not forget. It is still very important to me, however, that I write the memories here in my own words soon. There is something special about writing, and something much more special about having Sam read what I write here.

I will write all these memories soon, I swear it, but now I only have a short time to write before we leave. Jhoren sent tickets to David to fly out here and visit us. He's arriving at the airport this evening, and we're picking him up right from the tarmac in time for him to join us for dinner. I can't wait to see him.

I have a feeling that Jhoren is waiting to make an important announcement. I dare not speculate what it might be yet, but he looks as if he's keeping a wonderful secret.

While I still have time, I'd just like to quickly write out the most important parts of my time living in Jhoren's home. I expect I'll probably rewrite it later when I have more time, but perhaps just getting it down on paper will order events in my mind more clearly.

Our time with Jhoren was perfect leisure.

I really enjoyed the time I'd spent alone with Sam on our trip. It wasn't despite the countless miles of walking we had to do. It wasn't despite the time our pocketbook was stolen and we couldn't pay for transportation or food for two days until replacement cards and checks arrived. It wasn't despite how we earned or traded for our entire stay in Jaran, just before Jhoren met us, rather than paid for it. It wasn't despite the many difficulties we worked our way through, but very much because of them. Of course I always hoped things would be easy, but it would never have felt like a proper adventure if it were too easy.

Still, it felt wonderful in a very different way to know that we didn't have a single thing to worry about while we were staying with Jhoren. We did only what we pleased with our days. When we were hungry, we had something prepared for us, cooked for ourselves or drove into town to find a restaurant. When we were restless, Jhoren never failed to suggest an activity that we immediately agreed to. When we were tired, we slept.

Dalia and I taught Sam and Jhoren the joy of taking short, frequent naps. For them, it seemed to more often than not just be a time to lie together in comfortable silence and daydream rather than a time for sleep, but it served the same purpose.

Of the many nights we ended up staying with Jhoren, our third night in his home was the most special to me. I remember vividly how it began; the cool, crisp air, the stars blazing brightly above, the soft crash of waves breaking on the beach. We were all on the back deck of Jhoren's home, ready for bed, but not quite ready for sleep.

Sam and Jhoren lay in the twin hammocks on one end of the deck, hung so close together that an unmatched swing would invariably bump the two together. They whispered to each other, laughing on occasion, and spent long silences gazing out at the moonlight reflecting off the water.

By that point, there was no denying the strength of their interest in each other. Sam decided to extend our stay there until the end of the week at first, and then another week after that just the next day. Even that had an implied 'for now' attached to it.

Dalia and I were doing well together, too. I wouldn't say we were developing quite the emotional attachment that Sam and Jhoren had, but we still did quite well. The only other person I've ever been really close to in my life has been Sam. Sure, I loved David, and I got to know a lot of people from our home town, but I have never truly felt like an equal with anybody but Sam, and now Dalia.

Dalia was amazing to me. I spent much of my waking life reading, writing, trying to teach myself to draw, accompanying Sam throughout her days as much as possible, or just being content to sit and observe those around me. Dalia, on the other hand, spent her seemingly boundless energy enjoying nature. She loved to explore the uninhabited forest that bordered near Jhoren's home. She loved to climb the trees there and nap in their branches. She could climb the cliff faces, cracks and boulders almost as if they were stairs. She could hold her breath for a minute at a hard swim, and often collected fascinating little items from deep under the water, just off shore. She was friendly, outgoing, and very openly affectionate.

I would never call her stupid, but it was obvious to me that her intelligence was of a very different sort than mine. She could read, but she did not find the same pleasure in it as I did. She did not like to write, but she was a fantastic storyteller. She could not draw, but she sung beautifully. She had a knack for finding beauty in the world, and where it did not exist she had a talent for creating it with surprisingly little effort.

That night I lay still, stretched out on my back for Dalia, receiving the first nose-to-tail grooming of my life. It was bliss. The feel of her tongue and mouth slowly working over every inch of my body was the most incredibly soothing thing I could imagine.

I watched from the corner of my eye as Sam and Jhoren's hammocks swung softly in unison. Sam reached over and ticked Jhoren, and a moment later he leaned over the edge of his hammock to nibble playfully at her belly. She burst into giggles like I hadn't heard since she was a child. I smiled broadly as I watched Sam climb up out of her hammock and in beside Jhoren in his.

As always, though, Dalia managed to pull my attention back to her. Her tongue drew one last long stroke right over my navel before she licked her muzzle and stepped forward, moving her body directly over mine. She looked down into my face, mirroring my smile.

Her eyes flicked up toward the forest, she bit her lip in a moment of decision, and she looked back down into my eyes. She kissed me, softly at first, then closing her eyes and pressing in, drawing it out. When it broke, we were both trembling slightly, surprised by the level of passion in that brief moment.

She smiled to me. "Come find me, Aiden. I'll be waiting for you," she said, and in a flash of black fur, she bound off toward the forest behind me.

"Hold on, Aiden." I stopped just short of taking my first running bound after Dalia, turning my head to see Jhoren giving Sam a kiss on the cheek before getting up from the hammock and stepping over to me.

I frowned, looking back toward the forest, Dalia now well out of sight. "I'm sorry. Now isn't a good time, Jhoren." I took a half step away, displaying my eagerness to go quickly.

Jhoren smiled. "Trust me, she'll wait a few more moments. This couldn't be a better time. I promise, just a few minutes."

I hesitated just one more moment before turning and following him inside into his office. "Aiden," he began, "I've been talking with Sam about this the past couple days. She said you would probably be uncomfortable with me telling you all this. Forgive me, but I cannot keep a secret from you just for the sake of your comfort. I believe if you really think about it, you'll be glad for the opportunity."

Jhoren picked up a small wooden box, turning it over in his fingers. "I am passionate about a number of things, Aiden. Among the biggest of them is learning more about the implant that controls the life of my closest friend," he smiled softly, "and of you, Aiden. Among my first memories is in the hospital, watching from a distance as Dalia received her implant once she was grown enough to take it. It frightened me how much power the words of the BlackPaw trainers had over her mind and body afterward.

"As it turns out, the control implants aren't nearly as well understood as BlackPaw would have everyone believe. They were mostly developed, along with a handful of related technologies, toward the end of the War. They're now what some people refer to as 'Black Technology.' Since the end of the war, active research has simply disappeared, and a great deal of what was once known is now lost.

"I can't explain why. I'm not interested in the conspiracy theories, the lectures on scientific ethics, or any of the other nonsense that surrounds these technologies," he continued. "I'm interested in discovering what was lost." He looked at the little wooden box a moment, and then set it aside before picking up a large book and a thick stack of folders filled with papers. He smiled, looking proudly at the stack of information. "It's absolutely fascinating, Aiden. Nanotechnology and biotechnology were decades ahead of what we have available now. All the technology that went into your implant and the whole adaptation process was all developed almost ninety years ago. It was all- and still is, really- a closely guarded secret. Nanotechnology is what reshaped your body and your genetics from what you were born in to what you are today. It's also probably the most fantastically useful and dangerous thing that science has ever produced. Biotechnology--" He stopped himself short.

He sighed softly. "I'm sorry. There's time for all this later. I'm sure you're eager to go find Dalia, but there's just one thing I want to offer you first. I won't waste your time any more than I have to."

He picked up the box again and opened it, turning it for me to see. Inside, carefully held in place by precisely cut foam, was what looked to me like a silver grain of rice inside a small glass vial, and a small, complex mechanical device, sandwiched between two silver discs about the size of coins, hinged together on one end.

"I acquired three of these devices a few years ago. They're the only ones known to exist. They're priceless." He pulled out the vial, removed the cap, and shook out the silver grain inside into his hand. He held it forward for me to look more closely at. "I gave one to a university to be studied. I gave the second to Dalia." He smiled. "And I would like you to have this one."

"It's a recording device," he explained, "a miracle of nanotechnology that we can barely even understand today. The university has been working on it for years and they're still trying to figure out how to even analyze it." He picked out the other device from the box, opened the hinged discs, and carefully loaded the grain into the mechanism inside.

He set it down and reached forward toward me, gently taking both of my ears between his thumb and forefingers. He felt carefully around the tips, adjusted the position of his fingers just slightly, and then started rubbing firmly.

A feeling of calm came over me, my anxiety of leaving Dalia waiting for me while Jhoren explained old War technology to me instantly dissolving away. I smiled, letting out a sigh. This was a trick Sam discovered long ago, but it never failed.

"When the control implant and the body altering machines were developed, they seem to have decided to put in number hidden features in your body. Mostly for testing their work, or to allow room for future improvement, I believe. One of the most interesting is in your ears. Your ears are just full of very specialized nerve endings. Rubbing your ears like that probably touches a few thousand, but I'm told the effect is very nice for short periods of time. Unfortunately, we don't have any idea what almost any of them are really for."

He gestured toward the silver device. "They make it possible for this thing to work, though. This will implant a tiny recording device in your ear, right on the edge near the tip. After a few minutes, it will attach itself to some of the nerve endings and begin to record your experiences, your feelings, your thoughts. I believe they were developed with the idea of capturing felines in the war, training them to be spies after receiving their implant, and then sending them back to the feline side of the world. With some training, you can learn to play them back and re-experience any moment after you've received it, any time you like."

He smiled warmly. "Dalia told me she has something special for you tonight. I just thought you might like to preserve that memory."

The decision was not as easy as it might seem. The possibility of being able to record and replay experiences seemed wonderful to me. I would be able to revisit the best moments of my life after this day, without having to rely on the imperfect recall of my memory and journal. I realized I would give anything to be able to re-experience the first time I made love with Sam, or to re-experience just what it was like the day I met her.

However, although I have grown to accept the effects of my implant, the thought of it clinging to the bottom of my brain still revolts me. I try not to think about it much, because the thought usually makes me start to feel sick after a few moments. The thought of allowing Jhoren to put something new inside my head struck me as horrible as it was tempting.

Jhoren smiled and stroked his hands over my head after a few moments of my indecisiveness. "Aiden, if you change your mind, it's a trivial task to remove it again. Just a tiny cut in the edge of your ear and I can squeeze it right out. It even looses all its memory the moment it's taken out of your ear.

I finally smiled and nodded, Jhoren's words tipping the balance of my indecision. "Yes. I'll do it."

Jhoren moved quickly but carefully the moment I agreed. He squeezed a bit of a cold-feeling gel onto the tip of my ear right from the tube, careful not to get any on his fingers.

He picked up the silver device, careful where he placed his fingers, and squirted a clear liquid, pure alcohol judging by the scent, all over the inside, sure to completely soak it. Then, without giving me another moment to reconsider, he put the two hinged halves of the device around the tip of my ear, took a brief moment to align it, and squeezed the two halves together with fingers on both hands.

My ear had apparently been numbed by the gel, but I still felt a sharp sting as the grain was injected under my skin. I reflexively jerked my head away, but Jhoren was ready and moved his hands with me, still holding the device closed around my ear tip. He laughed softly. "It's okay, Aiden. The worst is over." He chuckled. "Dalia was chewing on my wrist at this point. I'm glad you're taking it better."

He held it for just a few more moments, then pulled the two hinged halves apart again. A brief sting, then no more pain except the numbed ache at the tip of my ear. "There," he smiled. "Not even any blood." He carefully wiped my ear clean with a cloth. "Go ahead and touch it, you can hardly even tell it's there." He grinned a little. "Now go. I'll explain how to use it when you come back."

Just moments later, I was bounding through the forest at full sprint. It didn't take me long to get to the spot where I last saw Dalia, but she clearly had no intention of making it that easy for me.

I stopped and looked around. I had barely used any kind of tracking skills in my rather domestic life, but I at least knew how to follow a scent and be observant. I hoped that would be enough.

It only took a minute to locate a nearby paw print in some firm mud. Turning my nose to the ground, I closed my eyes and sniffed the spot, smiling as something familiar tickled my nose. Looking ahead, I grinned with anticipation.

With some difficulty at first but slowly getting easier, I followed the scent, sweeping my head back and forth to keep myself centered on the strongest point of the trail. I followed it slowly and carefully, making my way deep into the woods. Without my own trail of scent available to retrace my steps, I doubted if I could find my way back out even remotely near where I came in.

The branches overhead filtered the moonlight, leaving the ground dappled with its soft white beams. It was pretty, but it made it almost impossible to spot paw prints or other subtle signs of Dalia's passing.

My paws squished into soft mud, and for the first time I noticed the sheen of moonlight on the surface of the river before me, the sound of its gentle current. I was so intent on following the scent that I hadn't even noticed it was there until I was a step away from walking right into it. However, I did notice that right between my paws was a single paw print of Dalia's, leading right into the water. I knew I was on the right path, but how would I follow her now?

I looked around, working out the problem in my head. She could have swum all the way across, gone out and come back onto this shore somewhere else, or ridden the current well down the length of the river.

I decided that the current of the river was too quick to swim against, so she could not have come upriver from this point. Next, I saw rapids downriver where the water crashed over large rocks, and decided she would not have gone that way. That left a short walk along either shore, looking for clues of her presence. Unfortunately, I doubted I'd be able to pick up her scent where she'd still been dripping wet from the river.

I wasn't able to find any sign of her presence on the banks of the river except where I knew she got in, but on the far side I found a narrow trail of trampled grass. It had been followed many times before, but it seemed by nothing more destructive to the grass than gentle feline paws.

I followed it. The trail led off into a big clearing in the forest, filled with dry, yellowed grass as tall as my head. Every once in a while I had to jump up onto my hind legs and balance on them for a few moments to see over the grass and be sure I was still following the barely visible line of the trail.

The grass was so thick I could barely see anything more than arm's reach away from me. I nearly bumped into the stone wall of the cliff face before realizing I'd reached it. The trail ended right there, as if the cliff had been dropped from the sky right on top of it.

I looked up. It looked like an impossible climb to me, but by that time I'd already witnessed Dalia achieving several seemingly impossible climbs. She couldn't possibly expect me to do that, though, could she?

I reared up on my hind legs again, resting my hands on the cliff face for balance. I looked around, then up, then behind me. A tree's branches arched overhead, one of them running into the cliff face and integrating itself into the cracks in the rock.

Jumping down and turning around again, I found the trunk of the tree in the thick grass and climbed up. I did not come near hoping to match Dalia's climbing skills, but I was glad to be a member of a species with a natural talent at climbing trees. I made my way up to the branch I'd noticed earlier.

I almost couldn't believe it. Blocked from view below by the branch and leaves, I could now see a wider crack in the rock just above the branch. It looked like the branch had broken away rock to produce the opening, revealing a larger cave inside. I immediately crossed the branch and squeezed my body inside.

It was dark inside. It took a few minutes of sitting inside the opening before my eyes adjusted enough to navigate safely through the cave, but I heard the singing the moment I stepped in. Dalia's voice, singing softly and sweetly, reverberating through the (extensive, by the sound of it) caves was hauntingly beautiful. As soon as I was confident of my eyes, I made my way forward, following the sound.

Just as I was beginning to get scared of getting lost in the maze of interconnected caverns while I followed the beautiful Siren's call of Dalia's voice, I found her. She looked positively angelic, bathing in a pool of soft white light at the bottom of a bright shaft of moonlight, surrounded by stars.

I was stunned frozen and speechless as the illusion held for a time. My body was freed again as the illusion broke down, but the truth was no less beautiful to me.

Dalia lay stretched out on her back, smiling warmly but continuing her song as I stepped inside. She was up to her neck in perfectly clear water, in a smooth stone basin occupying most of the floor space of the cavern. Plumes of steam rose from the warm spring water, making the air glow with moonlight. A hole in the rock overhead let the moonlight pour inside, and then shimmer off the crystalline surface of the stone walls all around.

I stepped into the water, a pleasant shiver going up my body from it warmth. The air inside the caverns was quite cool and it felt very good to let my body slip into the warmth. I walked across toward Dalia, the water level never quite high enough to force me to swim. It was hottest and deepest in the center, and I could feel the slight current of water flowing in from beneath.

Dalia's song ended and for a few moments the only sounds were the slight splashes of water as I made my way through. She smiled warmly up to me, opening her arms and inviting me in closer.

I smiled, laying down beside her, letting out a sigh as the warm water enveloped my body. I looked down into her eyes, leaned in, and without a word I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her.

No words were necessary. Something about this place made speaking feel sinful, as if it would destroy the beauty of the cavern to utter anything less beautiful than it.

Dalia purred warmly, filling the empty air again with its sound. She lifted her hands to my body, one on the back of my neck and the other to my flank. She pressed gently back up into the kiss. She moved confidently; she obviously knew what she wanted, but still she trembled ever so slightly. I wonder if I had been trembling the same as her.

I got back up onto my paws and stepped over, moving my body over hers so that my eyes looked directly down at hers while we kissed. Balancing on three paws, I used one hand to caress down her neck, chest and sides.

Her body was more like mine than anybody I'd ever met after my training all those years ago, but it seemed terribly foreign to me. I ran my hand over her chest as if expecting to feel breasts I could see weren't there. Her shoulders tugged at my attention, a blend of person and animal that simultaneously struck me as familiar and strange. Her hands seemed incredibly beautiful to me; strong, dexterous fingers and thumb that naturally folded neatly into paws bottomed with tough leather pads and tipped with a handsome set of claws.

I wondered if this is how Sam felt every time she laid with me, fascinated by every strange and beautiful detail of my body, or if she had long since grown as accustomed to me as I had her. If that were the case, I wondered, how did she feel with Jhoren? I sincerely hoped it felt this good.

I lowered my body a bit, adjusting my position over Dalia. Her body may have seemed strange to me despite its familiarity, but it felt perfect against me. Somehow the curves of our bodies just seemed to mesh, satisfying some need inside me I'd never realized even existed.

That night was the first time I made love to Dalia. It was the first time I'd been so close to a member of my own species. It was the first time I'd lusted for anybody but Sam. It would be far from the last.

I felt like a virgin again. My muscles trembled and my heart fluttered. I was once again unfamiliar with the intimate details of the body before me, or the tastes of the person in it. Still, my body lied about how I felt and moved with smooth confidence born from endless practice.

I am proud of my body without reservation, but the simple truth is a leopard's body is relatively ill equipped to pleasure a wolf in mating. But I have never had to wish for more and I believe Sam has never been disappointed because I taught myself to make up for the different in species with skill and practice, and I believe I have become very good at it.

Now with Dalia, I took full advantage of the level ground of our matched species and put to use everything I could to make Dalia feel good. I have no doubt now that I was successful.

Tonight Jhoren will spend more time with me, teaching me to use the device in my ear to replay my memories. It is more difficult than I first thought, but Jhoren promises me I am getting close to achieving control over it. The lessons so far have been like a strange sort of meditation, trying to relax myself and take control of a part of my mind that I'd never used. I've managed to get flashes of images, strange feelings, and a great deal of confusion, but Jhoren promises soon it will be second nature to me.

I will write in more detail when I've learned to recall the events I'm trying to describe. Although I remain vaguely uncomfortable with it, I have decided to keep the recording device Jhoren gave me. I have also, however, decided to keep my journal up to date. I find it still has the effect of more clearly ordering my thoughts, and I simply cannot deprive Sam of her favorite reading material. She almost has me convinced it could be published, after a thorough editing. I'll believe that after almost everything she's ever written has been published first- her work is better.

I have only a short time left before we leave to pick up David. I'm so excited to see him again I almost feel like going outside and waiting in the car until it's time to leave. Sam has just asked a favor of me, though. Having found me hiding away to have some time alone with this journal, she came in and read the last page as I wrote it, then asked me to write just one more part before we leave.

She wants to read about the night that came three days later, from my perspective. "Quickly, roughly," she said, as time is now running short. She said it will help her decide what exactly she will tell David about these past weeks.

That night I was laying with Dalia in the soft grass between the wooden deck behind the house and the sandy beach before the ocean. We had taken out the Big Blanket, a huge area of thick, soft cloth that Dalia had taught me to fold, roll and tie into a cozy little nest perfect for the both of us.

Meanwhile, Jhoren and Sam lay together on a large towel spread out on the beach. Jhoren lay behind Sam, gently holding her back to his chest with one arm, their legs tangled. They both picked at the last of the dinner Dalia and I had delivered to them half an hour earlier, they sipped on a couple glasses of wine, and they talked, though most of their time was spent in silence, enjoying the sunset over the water.

We had all spent our day relaxing on the beach and playing in the water. We all swam and splashed and played games in the gentle waves of the shallow water along the beach. We napped in the shade of two large umbrellas set up in the sand, and then when their shadows moved and the sun woke us once again we got up to play some more. Sam and Jhoren spent some hours reading- Sam read one of Jhoren's favorite books, and Jhoren worked his way through Sam's writings. Dalia and I walked along the edge of the water for an hour or so and then back, our paws splashing in the water each time a wave rolled under us.

Jhoren and Sam wore nothing but their fur, just as they had all day, just as they had much of the time we spent at Jhoren's home. Even back home nudity was considered acceptable among family and friends, with some privacy. The two seemed to appreciate that even those constraints didn't apply in this part of the world and that they could be comfortably nude together with no extra implications.

Those implications seemed to find ways back into everyone's minds, though. Dalia and I made no secret that we had been mating. In fact, I think Sam and Jhoren had seen us on more than one occasion. I usually tried to find some privacy, but Dalia could hardly care who saw us.

Also, Sam was going into heat. She could have covered her scent, of course, with the right cream and the right clothes, but she made no attempt to hide it. And unless she had taken her pills to suppress the urges- which she never did- it would be very difficult for her to spend another night simply cuddling with Jhoren. Even if she did, her unmasked scent would torture the poor wolf all night. So the choice at this point came down to avoiding Jhoren for the night or mating, and she clearly had no intention to do the former. Nobody had said anything, but I got the feeling that everybody had come to the same conclusion as me.

Just moments after the last of the sun's rays disappeared over the water, Sam turned her body around to face Jhoren. She closed her eyes, nibbled gently at his chin and softly slid just the tip of her tongue over Jhoren's lips. Jhoren smiled, gently sliding his hand up behind her head, and pressed his lips firmly to hers, his mouth parting slightly along with hers. They held the kiss until they both had to gasp for breath.

I found myself thinking about what sort of a mate Jhoren would be, if their relationship ever came to that. He was caring and attentive, though that could be said for most men trying to attract a woman. He was gentle and sweet, but still had the capacity to be strong in will and opinion. He was not afraid to disagree and defend his position, but he was similarly unafraid to admit he was wrong when defeated. He was educated, intelligent, and curious enough to make Sam's interests his own.

He was a wolf, and a very fit, handsome one at that. Sam always insisted that species was not important to her, and in a way she proved her point with me. I refuse to believe, however, that his species was in no way a factor contributing to her interest in him. And completely aside from species, Sam also always said that she preferred intelligence over physique. As if the two were mutually exclusive- a partial truth, perhaps. To me, though, the fact that he took such good care of his body spoke well for his personality, apart from his attractiveness.

Finally, of course, Jhoren was fairly wealthy. He worked and earned his money, but he did so to enrich his life, not to make a life of his work. He turned away greater wealth and power without second thought to maximize his leisure time. He owned a number of companies, but daily control always rested in the hands of someone more interested in the work. Sam told me that money was far from the most important factor, but she made no attempt to argue it was not a positive factor.

I smiled. One can never truly know, but he seemed to live up to what I believed Sam deserved from a mate. He had the potential to fulfill all of her fantasies. It nagged at me a little that I didn't know any of his flaws- I refused to believe he didn't have any- but that was a task for another day.

Sam smiled to Jhoren, putting her hands on his chest and gently pushing him down onto his back. She leaned in, licking and nibbling at his exposed throat. Her hands rubbed softly over him, fingertips feeling out the curves of his body.

I found myself thinking back to our first time, the way she took control of the situation as a way of controlling her fear of it. I smiled. I'd hoped this would be just as exciting, just as special to her as our first time had been.

Sam moved a leg over Jhoren's body, resting both hands on his chest. She held her body low over his, her breasts brushing over him and the fur of his belly clearly tickling between her legs. She lowered her head again, pressing her lips back to his, moving her hands to hold each side of his head. She moved her knees back down Jhoren's body and in close to his slides, and then carefully, very slowly, eased herself back.

I jumped, startled as Dalia licked my cheek. I trembled, panting lightly, looking back over at her. She just smiled, gave me a soft kiss, and set her head back down, gazing out in the same direction as me. I took a deep breath and calmed myself again, realizing how involved I'd become in watching Sam. I hoped she didn't feel as strongly about seeing me with Dalia and I did seeing her with Jhoren.

The slightest of whimpers from Sam drew my attention back to her. She buried her face in his chest fur, resting part of her weight on his body, holding still for long moments before resuming her gentle, rhythmic motion over him.

Jhoren laid beneath her, holding her in firmly with both hands, his mouth licking and nibbling gently along her cheek and the edge of her throat. He exhibited impressive self control, allowing Sam to have full control over their first mating.

They took several minutes together, their bodies beginning to move with such passion that I felt as if I could sense it like heat from a fire. Jhoren whispered in her ear and she nodded. Suddenly, he took her body in his hands and flipped them both over together. Sam laid on her back, lifting her legs and wrapping her thighs around Jhoren's waist.

Jhoren's pace was quick, building from the pace Sam left off with. He grunted, bared his teeth, and thrust once more, hard against Sam's body. Sam let out a cry, eyes widening in a moment of shock. She gripped his shoulders with her hands, whimpering softly for a few moments, then suddenly baring her teeth and grabbing his neck, biting gently. She held on even as her ears laid back and she let out long moans of pleasure.

It took me a few moments to realize exactly what happened. Jhoren's final thrust tied him with Sam, an instinctive reaction to his climax. Sam certainly knew just what was going to happen when she allowed him to flip them over. I had little doubt the experience is quite a shock the first time.

Jhoren gently rolled them both onto their sides and held Sam close, whispering into her ear. She smiled, hugged him tightly and gave him another kiss.

I gasped in shock, startled by the feeling of Dalia's lips against the tip of my sheath. Watching Sam and Jhoren had me extremely excited, but until just then Dalia had respected my need to watch over Sam just this once. Her patience was obviously fresh out now. I laughed, letting my body slide back down to the floor of the cloth nest, purring loudly. I certainly couldn't complain.

I hope I've covered the details you wanted, Sam, and I apologize if my writing is rushed.

I love you, and I hope you understand that I am nothing but happy for the recent events in our lives. I am winning control of my jealousy, but I've always known there's nothing for me to be jealous of.

I have suspicions that you have some wonderful announcement that's been occupying your mind lately. It must be important, to keep even me in the dark these past days. I've tried to be sure to let you know exactly how I feel about everything. The purpose of my life is to ensure you're never alone when you don't want to be, so I hope you don't feel like you've made this decision of yours alone.

Not long after you read this for the first time, our family will be reunited for the first time in what feels like ages. I can't wait to see David again.

It's time to go.

The double doors on the left side of the car suddenly buckled inward in an explosion of noise and flying glass as the truck hit them. The car flipped over, leaving its occupants in freefall for just an instant before landing near the bottom of the ditch beside the road.

Nearly three weeks had passed since the first time Aiden had been in that car, a time he treasured as one of the best in his life.

Aiden regained consciousness almost a full minute later, finding himself laying on the ceiling of the car. Blood ran down Dalia's unconscious face right in front of him. Looking back, he saw Jhoren clutching a severely broken arm to his chest, taking quick, shallow breaths as he began to go into shock.

Sam's eyes caught Aiden's a moment later. "Keep still, Aiden. Don't move. We're all going to be okay, just don't move. Put your head down." She kicked out the window behind her; the door around it was jammed shut by the crushed frame of the car.

The moment her paw broke through the glass, two brown hands closed around her ankle and pulled, roughly dragging her over the broken glass and outside. They grabbed the scruff of her neck once she was out, twisted until she began to choke, and hauled her up onto her paws.

Aiden, of course, dove out after her.