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Afterglow... it was a concept I'd heard a lot about, read a lot about, but never really experienced. ,Most of, well ALL, of the sex I'd had had concluded with the awkward "get dressed and try and leave ASAP" kind of ending. At least until last night. It was felt wonderful. It felt special. It was the first time I had began my morning with anyone else in my arms.

It felt scary too. Just like the first time, I had the same feeling of unease. We had crossed another boundary. Again at James' own initiative, but that didn't mean anything. I suddenly felt guilty as I held James. I was putting my own feelings above his own now. Would he feel the same way waking up? I rolled away from his body when I felt him stir. I couldn't keep my paws off of him, and my hand strayed to his own. My thumb ran across the raven colored fur. It felt silky and slightly slick with sweat. No surprises there. I generated enough body heat to warm a small building without blankets.

I assessed the mess level as I laid there. We were both on our backs now. Our chests held the bulk of it, and I found my cock and balls were pretty sticky. We'd actually kept a lot of it off the sheets, but they still reeked of the heady musk of sex. It smelled different than when James brought a girl in. It was heavier, stronger, and much better, in my opinion. I hoped that James liked it too.

It was almost eleven when James opened his eyes, but i thought he had woken up before that. There was something about how he was breathing. He laid in bed for a few seconds before rolling off to the side. "Good morning." The tone was very matter of fact. He had definitely noticed me holding his hand, but he didn't seem to care one way or the other.

James unhooked the bedposts and pushed his bed back to its normal place. He balled up the sheets and tossed them into the hamper. It was then he noticed that his chest was pretty sticky from rubbing our bodies together. He ran a hand up his body, starting from right above his sheath and ending at his collarbones. I couldn't help but notice that his cock was poking just out of his sheath, and my own dick gave an involuntary twinge. I hoped that he didn't see that.

"I'm taking a shower before lunch."

"Sounds like a plan." I watched james pull on gym shorts and a crappy shirt before grabbing some actual clothes and his shampoo. He cracked the door open and slipped outside. I dunno why I dawdled. I fingered my dick a little, but I stopped before I actually got hard. I was feeling surprisingly unhrony right now. After about five minutes I stood up and shoved my own bed back on the other side of the room before throwing on the sleep clothes I never put on last night. I couldn't find where I put my own shower gear right away.

I hated the dorm showers. There was absolutely no space. I was a big bear, no way around it. I was six foot five and I was certainly heavier than I wanted to be. I had to duck my head and I basically couldn't turn my body without brushing up against one of the walls. I started soaping myself up, and only once I had finished rinsing that I had to give in.

I'd always liked to fap while I showered. It had started in high school when it was one of the few moments of privacy in my household of six, but it was arousing in it's own right. The sensation of water scorching the skin under my fur was another huge turn on, but by now I had been pawing myself in the shower for so long that my brain correlated a quick rinse to foreplay. Even two minutes in the shower would get me hard and leave me with major blueballs if I was so pressed for time that I couldn't give myself a quicky. The brain's weird like that.

I leaned back into a corner of the shower and turned the nozzle so that it'd hit my fave. My hands reached for my gut and my cock. I was half hard already, and my member throbbed hard enough to make my knees weak when my hand grabbed fistfulls of my stomach.

My left arm ran through my fur and caught the water falling over my body. I felt my dick lengthen through the grip of my paw, almost like a pointed, knotted cock slipping out of a sheath. My soaked body felt silky and smooth rather than rough, and I thrust my hips into an imaginary body, grinding into a slim, toned body. My lips parted by a fraction, as if to accept a kiss, or a series of kisses. I shot four ropes against my body as I slid slowly down the shower stall until I was sitting on the floor. I let rinsed my cum off my belly, and only once I shut off the water did I realize what I had just did.

I didn't move from my place for more than five minutes. I felt filthy instead of clean, and I stared back into my reflection in the shower knob. The splash of gold across my muzzle was distorted so that my whole face was illuminated in the reflection, and my mud brown eyes stared back into me. They were both magnified and slanted, and they stared back into me, as if in accusation. A drop of water in a sink seemed like a thunderclap, or perhaps someone shouting at me.

It was different than having sex with him. When we had blown each other or or fucked it was a mutual thing. But in the shower I had objectified him. I had turned him into a vessel for magnifying my personal pleasure. It had felt goddamn amazing when we fucked, and almost as good when I was imagining that we fucked. But I was being an idiot. For the first time I had a glimpse into the reasoning of James' distaste for porn stars.

I shouldn't get attached. I couldn't get attached. I was an experiment. James was probably more inclined to like women than men. I was just an experiment. I was a willing participant and I enjoyed our excursion, but it wasn't anything more than that. If I treated it any different I'd do nothing but start an argument. James was a friend. He was a good friend, but he was just a friend. I toweled and dressed quickly and left for the library.

The lab was deserted on a saturday at lunch time, and I opened up Blackboard to check what assignments I needed to do over the weekend. I had a bunch of sociology reading to do, and I printed off five different book excerpts. The stapler had a difficult time keeping the paper together, and when I dropped the stacks on the table my pencil and highlighter bounced by two inches. Good thing I was a fast reader.

finished my soc homework fast enough, and I switched to bio osme time around three. I forgot my virtual textbook, but I was too lazy to walk back to my room. Instead I redownloaded the torrent I had snatched at the beginning of the year to dodge the three hundred dollar price of the real damn thing. I didn't eat lunch and I didn't even notice that I missed dinner. Not exactly normal for a bear like me. It wasn't until almost nine that I realized how hungry I was, and I meandered to The Den.

The Den was really called Denia's Market because some rich alumni paid for the renovations. It's food wasn't exactly great, but it was cheap and it was open late. I ordered a chicken wrap and sweet potato fries and grabbed a cup to fill with coke. I began to sip the foam of the top when someone tapped my shoulder. "Dude, where were you?"

I turned around to meet dark blue eyes that contained concern and a trace of accusation. I bought some time by taking a swig of my drink before saying, "Where was I supposed to be?"

"Did you forget about game, Sam?"

I slapped my forehead in frustration, but my insides uncoiled in relief. "Oh damn. I completely forgot. I was plowing through my homework at the lab. What'd I miss?"

"Nothing. Dylan didn't show up either and we didn't wanna play with two missing." James frowned. "We really need to find a replacement for him. He didn't show up three times this month."

"Shame. He's a blast when he shows up."

"When he shows up is the phrase that confirms the reason why we need to look for someone else.'"

"Have you ordered yet?"

"Yeah. Want to duke it out in Dark Souls when we get our food?"

"Sure, I guess." My insides were sinking now. I was responsible for ruining three people's nights now. On top of that I was starting to realize that I was mortally terrified of learning what James thought of our sex last night, and I was probably going to get an answer tonight. Suddenly being roommates started to seem like a bad idea.

James had already started tearing at his burger by the time I got my wrap, and we ate wordlessly while we walked back to the dorm. I let us in, and I noticed that James had opened the windows and sprayed down the beds with febreze.

We set up our TVs, hooked up the ethernet cables, and started up Dark Souls. I tried to keep my tone casual. "Ash Lake? We'll get some privacy there."

"Yeah."

I picked Marcus, my double wielder. I had a love affair with the murakumo, but it's windup was problematic. But I could solve that problem by whipping a scimitar in their face if someone decided to get cocky. James picked his Jin Kisaragi cosplay: katana plus crystal magic weapon. The first match went to James. And the second. And the third. And the seventh.

"Sam, get your head in the game. I should be getting trounced right now."

"Hmm?"

"Exactly."

"Sorry." I logged out and switched to my pyromancer. My gameplay seemed only to be getting worse.

"What's bothering you Sam?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"I'm not," I protested. My transparent state of denial was not shrouded by my feeble lie.

"Dude, you never forget game, and you just lost about thirty matches in a game I haven't touched in months. Something is sure as hell bugging you. Just tell me to fuck off if you don't wanna talk."

I blushed under my fur. Fucking off might not have been the best choice of words for what was on my mind right now. "I don't want to tell you to fuck off."

"Then tell me that you don't want to talk about it." James' eyes flashed blue. He was eying me with an introspective frown. He wasn't angry. He looked closer to worried. In a way he reminded me of me when I was at a crossroads and not sure which choice was best.

"You're worried about last night, aren't you." It was a statement. "You're feeling guilty about having sex with me, and you're feeling guilty for enjoying it."

My jaw dropped. It was almost comical. "Well... yes."

"Don't." said James, sternly.

"I... James, I-"

"Don't."

"But-"

James growled. That more than anything snapped me into reality. James never growled. He always seemed to be ashamed of his lupine heritage. Every time his tail wagged or he let a growl or how slip through he'd take a moment to beat up on himself for losing control. We sat in silence for a whole minute.

James' voice was softer now. "Sam... please don't feel bad about it. You didn't ask for sex last night or in April. I asked both times. In fact I liked it both times. The burden isn't on you."

"But it is," I mutter. I couldn't maintain eye contact.

"Why?"

"Because I liked it too." Another pause.

James shrugged. "So what? Sex feels good. Or at least, it should."

"James... The reason I really liked it was because, well... it was with you." I bit my lip and closed my eyes. To my shame I felt the ghosts of tears starting to form. I blinked hard three times and looked up at the wolf before me. His face was hard to read, but I thought I had seen shock and apprehension behind his dark fur. I looked away again. I had said too much.

I stood up to leave, but James stood in the way of the door. He was standing too, and while he looked casual, his stance was ready, his legs at shoulder with, and his arms were held slightly out from his hips. It was clear he didn't want me to leave yet. "Doing it with you felt good to me too, Sam. Sex means more when you know the person. At least for me."

I picked at the fur on my arms, and after a minute I was able to meet those gorgeous dark blue eyes. "Yeah, I think it does."

James stepped aside. "You going somewhere?"

"Just food," I lied.

James fished out a five from his wallet. "Get me a burger."

"Ok."

I stepped up to take the money. As I took the bill, James quickly wrapped his arms around my shoulder.

"Sam. You've been a good friend."

He let go quickly, and let me leave without comment.

I dawdled to the Den. I would have dawdled back, but then the food would've gotten cold. When I passed James his box, he nodded wordlessly from his desk. It was like no words had been said twenty minutes ago. It was probably for the best. When I finished my sub sandwich, I got up again. I kind of felt like a shower.