Kristoffer's Redemption chapter 7
#7 of Kristoffer's Redemption
chapter 7
Kristoffer's Redemption
Chapter 7
I've put my trust in you.
Later that night Kristoffer went back to his nursery to find an old school desk next to the rocking chair in the corner. The desk had a sticker strip of the alphabet along the top and there was a small indention along the top above the alphabet strip that was used for holding your pencils and what not. Kristoffer, turned around and closed his door then he walked to the desk and sat down and took the key for his diary and unlocked the lock, then he opened it and began to write.
2014 October, Monday. Hey diary, so I really like you, the smell of your leather, the feel of your pages, and your lock lets me know I can tell you things I can't tell anyone else because no one else will be able to read you, I think you and I are going to be good friends, so any way, you were given to me tonight after dinner by Jennifer, she's really nice, and it kind of scares me, because I've put my trust in her hands so easily after such short a time. Today she told me I was going to get a sister sometime soon, her name will be Shela, and I wonder what she will be like. I hope she won't be mean or anything like that, I grew up with a borderline abusive older sister who got away with everything and left me holding her bag, so I'm pretty sick of mean sisters. Blaze asked me something a little while ago, and told me to really think about it, he asked me "in the end, what do you want out of this?" I'm not sure what I really want out of this, I guess I'd like to be a better person, not so insecure, or insincere, but aside from that, I'm not really sure what I want out of this. And in a way I guess I'm also hopping that I can leave here with memories of a newer, better "childhood."
As Kristoffer wrote, he was so engrossed in his new nightly task that he didn't hear the door bell, or hear his own door being opened and Blaze's heavy footsteps coming close to him, he didn't even see Blaze out of his peripheral vision! And Kristoffer just continued to write.
And one of the things that could help me make those memories is a new experience with a "sister" one who is nice, and plays with me, or talks to me nicely, one who will be worried about me when I'm sick, just a better big sister, or maybe a little sister who will look up to me, but still let me know that she cares. You know? I also guess I'd want to be able to trust others better, I don't know if they can fix these things, truthfully I have my doubts that they can, but one can dream, right? Well diary, it was nice to have this talk, I feel better. I'll talk more tomorrow night. Thanks for listening, c u l8er.
_ _ Kristoffer had just closed and locked his diary when he finally noticed Blaze standing there with a broad grin on his muzzle. "Well, well, well pup, you wrote that page like you've been keeping a diary all your life. Did you keep one before we took you in?" Blaze asked walking closer to the kit before him, who was capping his pen and putting it in the groove at the top of the desk, Kristoffer then crossed his arms and leaned back looking like a high school student. "I have kept a diary before yes. So what? did you come up here to tuck me in? And I really hope you didn't read anything while I was writing." Kristoffer said to the other Reynard as nonchalantly as he could, Blaze smiled and gave a hearty chuckle at Kristoffer, "Don't worry pup, I was so mesmerized by how fluently you wrote the calligraphy that I didn't even pay attention to what you was writing. And I wouldn't have read it even if I had wanted too, what you write in that book is between you and that book, and no, I did not come up here to tuck you in, Jennifer, wanted me to get you and bring you back down stairs, there is some one here she wants you to meet." Kristoffer, cocked his head to the side and wondered who would be here at this time of night, and eventually his curiosity got the better of him and he stood up and followed Blaze down the stairs to the living room where Jennifer sat with a very unhappy snow white timber wolf sat on her lap and her maw was muzzled as well, Kristoffer thought for a moment before he took in the other females apparel and concluded without a reasonable doubt and much to his own dismay, that this timber wolf was his new sister.
Kristoffer walked to his new sister slowly and tentatively, he did not see the mitten's and cuffs on her wrists to keep her from lashing out at the fox that was to be her brother, as Kristoffer approached the wolf let out a deep, threatening, growl warning the Reynard to keep his distance, the growl warranted a decently firm smack on the thigh by Jennifer, the wolf meeped and then growled again but then fell silent, Kristoffer was not fazed by the growl but instead took a tactic that none of the others in the room had expected. "Jennifer, umm I know that you're the 'mommy' but umm that wasn't exactly called for. It wasn't a threat but rather simply a warning. She doesn't scare me. I grew up with a borderline abusive older sister so, Shela doesn't scare me at all. Umm so do you think you could refrain from such um actions until they really are called for? Please? For me?" Jennifer's eyes got wide and her mouth hung open for a bit before a smile crawled over her face, Blaze was quite surprised that Kristoffer had taken such a token of the wolves hatred so coolly and even said that it didn't bother him in the least, the wolf, however was completely caught off guard by the Reynard's comment and even how he actually stood up for her, it was safe to say, if the muzzle wasn't keeping her maw closed, her jaw would have fell on the floor and her eyes were as big as dinner plates, Kristoffer however calmly took this opportunity to walk over to his new sister and gently scratched her behind the ears, "so I take it your Shela?" he asked the wolf who then blushed and simply nodded. "Well it's nice to meet you, and it's nice to see another arctic creature than myself for a change, I'm sure the feeling's mutual seeing as most arctic wolves stay with their own kind, it's rare to see one this far down south." The wolf nodded and let a sigh escape her muzzled mouth a bit, by this time Jennifer was quite happy with how things were going but she knew that it was past Kristoffer's bed time so she smiled and patted Kristoffer's head. "Kristoffer, now that you have met your sister, it's time for bed, so I want you to go to your room, leave the door open, if you haven't done it then write in your diary and then I want you to get into your crib and wait for Blaze or myself to come and tuck you in. alright?" Kristoffer nodded and started to leave when Blaze spoke up "ohh Jennifer, he's" was all Blaze got out before Kristoffer ran to him with surprising speed and tackled him down to make him stop talking, he then whispered in Blaze's ear "Blaze don't tell her I already wrote in my diary, I want to write again about meeting my sister while it's still fresh in my mind." Kristoffer said before Blaze rolled him over onto his back then the two looked up as Jennifer, cleared her throat quite loudly. "AH HEM! Now, what has Kristoffer already done?" Blaze smiled and then grabbed Kristoffer and set him in his lap and then parted his lips to show off his teeth which were as white as his fur and seemed to glitter like freshly fallen snow. "He already brushed his teeth like a good pup should, and he did such a great job I felt I should tell you. I think such a good job deserves a reward, Don't you?" Blaze said as he looked down and winked at Kristoffer.
Jennifer thought about this for a moment then smiled and nodded, looked at Kristoffer, "Blaze is right, a good job such as that is worthy of a reward, So Kristoffer, what do you think your reward should be?" Jennifer, asked with a smile as she wrapped her arms around Shela's shoulders absently and rested her chin on top of the wolves head. Kristoffer thought about this for a minute then he snapped his fingers and got up off of Blaze's lap and walked over to Shela and Jennifer and took one of Shela's mitten paws and pulled on it. "I want to play with Shela in the play room for at least a half hour!" Kristoffer announced as he continued to tug the wolves paw gently, Jennifer cleared her throat again and looked at Kristoffer sternly, Kristoffer, looked up at his caretaker and cocked his head. "No, it's late, how dose 5 minutes sound?" Kristoffer let go of the wolves paw and crossed his arms and looked at Jennifer across his muzzle. "No 25" he said with a small smile creeping upon his muzzle, Jennifer grind and called his bluff, "10, minutes." She said smiling back Kristoffer thought a bit then smiled at his care taker and took Shela's paw again and tugged "let's meet in the middle 15 minutes." Blaze chuckled behind him and Jennifer sighed and smiled "alright, 15 minutes." Jennifer smiled and let go of Shela whom was then promptly more or less dragged to the play room where once inside Kristoffer closed the locking sliding door and went to a spot where they couldn't be seen unless his caretakers were to actually come into the play room, where he then had Shela sit down and he then got behind her, "look I know I'm taking a risk by doing this but, I did stand up for you just a bit ago, so you do short of owe me." Shela rolled her eyes and huffed but being a wolf she knew that the fox was right, she did owe him for standing up for her in the living room, and had even gotten her away from the other 2 foxes as well, so he's done 2 things for her that she owes him for. "So do me a favor and don't bite me. Okay?" this statement puzzled Shela, why would this Reynard say something like that, but then as she felt the muzzle fall into her lap, the comment suddenly made all the sense in the world. Shela then did something that was not expected, she turned around and Hugged the fox and whispered in his ear "If you tell anyone about this, I will hunt you down and turn you inside out myself, got it?" to this Kristoffer giggled and hugged back. "You got it. But I got some stuff I want to ask you. If you don't mind." Shela sighed and sat back a bit facing the fox and looked down then looked back at him. "You have done 3 favors for me, so in return, I will answer only three of your stupid questions. Does that sound fair?" she asked with a sigh.
Kristoffer smiled and wagged his tail and nodded. "Yes, that's quite fair. Thank you. So first question. What is your full name and what part of the north are you from?" Kristoffer asked, but Shela was strict, but Kristoffer would learn that in just a moment. "My full name is Shela Dawn Hokkyok and I'm from the eastern part of the arctic circle, where my family lives, you have one more question, so make it count kid." She said sternly and Kristoffer was confused by this. "How do I only have one left?" "Easy, you asked two in one. So you have one left." Shela stated in a matter of fact tone of voice and Kristoffer nodded in understanding as it made since so he thought about his last question very carefully. And then finally it came to him. "Shela, why are you in this program? I mean surely you know why they are trying to help you. Right?" Kristoffer asked hoping he didn't cross any lines and Shela sighed and looked at him. "Tell you what. I'll tell you why they said I'm here if you tell me what explanation they gave you about your reason for 'help', deal?" she said looking at him with a dejected look on her face. Kristoffer didn't even think about the question and simply nodded in agreement. "Yea sure. It's only fair. They said that they are 'helping' me because of my history of psychological abuse, and because I have trouble trusting people because of it. Also because of my history of self-mutilation, so they are trying to help me work out my problems so I'm not so depressed all the time." Kristoffer said softly knowing that the trusting part was something that made it hard for him to share this kind of information with other furs. Shela however was very surprised by this. And suddenly her reasons looked rather small compared to his, but a deal's a deal, and as a wolf, it didn't sit well with her to just leave him hanging after he opened up to her so soon, and with trust problems at that! So she decided to keep her end of the deal. "Well, they said they are 'helping' me because I'm a bully to others, I don't let others in both the right and wrong reasons, and I was also a cutter myself, so I guess that's one of the reasons for these mittens, to keep me from using my claws, but it makes everything so damn hard to hold on too!" She growled and then sighed. Looking at Kristoffer who simply nodded in agreement. "Yea but, one other solution that doesn't make you so err disabled is to simply blunt your claws, that's what my friends did to me, they got tired of me cutting with them so they pinned me down and blunted my claws, I've tried everything to sharpen them again, from filing them, to even an old foxes remedy by using a sharpening stone with some water on it! But nothing worked, they've gotten a little sharpness to them over the years but not enough to really do much aside from maybe cutting paper, or nylon string, but that's about it." Kristoffer said looking down at his claws then looks up at Shela as a thought occurs to him. "Hey Shela, would you answer just one last question if I can get them to at least blunt your claws? I mean that would be better than those mitten's right? And the moisture from your natural skin would make the fur on your paws matt and clump and tangle to the point it would need to be shaven off to fix." Shela cut him off with a squeal of delight at just the idea of getting those mitten's off. "I'd let them rip my claws off if it meant they wouldn't keep these stupid mittens on any more!" Shela said in a sing song short of tone of voice. "Okay when my 15 minutes are up I'll try and talk them into it then." "Tell you what, you hold onto that question till when they agree to it, then I'll answer 4 more of your questions!" She said wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing tightly in a very tight bear hug. "S, s, Shela, c, c, can't breathe!" Kristoffer choked out and then Shela squeaked and let him go and he slumped down and accidently laid in her lap gasping for air. "Oops I'm so sorry." It was about this time that Blaze came into the play room to announce that their 15 minutes were up and when Kristoffer saw him he promptly got up and walked to him.
"Hey Blaze, Look um Shela and I were talking and..." Blaze cut him off by pushing a blue pacifier into his muzzle and the points to the book case and they see atop it is a baby monitor with a little red light and they realize that their whole conversation had been heard. "your right, You did take a risk by taking her muzzle off of her, and you also did something that Jennifer had specifically advised against, However, she made the deal to share that information with you if you shared your with her, you told her you had trusting problems, and still managed to tell her about yourself, Kristoffer Jennifer and I are both very proud of you. And as for the deal about blunting her claws, Jennifer and I will think about it. Now it's time for you to update your diary, Jennifer is waiting for you in your room, and Shela, I will be taking care of your bed time routine. But first we need to get that muzzle of your washed, we told you we don't allow swearing and you swore any way. So now you have to face the consequences of that action. And Kristoffer, I won't allow you to stand up for her on this one, she was told the rules and she broke them because she didn't think we would find out. That's a bad habit that we are trying to help her break. Doing things behind others backs. Now, up to your room, Jennifer doesn't like to be kept waiting." Blaze said as he walked to Shela with a collar and a leash and Kristoffer felt bad but then thought of one last thing he could do to help his new sister out. "Blaze wait. Umm did you ever think that maybe now that she's calmed down, maybe if you simply asked her too, that she might go with you willingly?" Kristoffer said in Shela's defense, this also made Blaze stop for a moment and then Kristoffer saw his shoulders relax as he then walked up to Shela the collar and leash still in hand but something was different. "Alright Shela. Will you come to the bathroom and accept your punishment willingly like a good girl, or do we need to do this the hard way again?" he asked her and she sighed and stood up and slipped her covered paw into his paw and they walked out of the door together.
Kristoffer, walked upstairs to his nursery where he did indeed find Jennifer in the rocking chair waiting for him. His diary was still were he left it set, and his pen was uncapped and set neatly next to the book and Kristoffer walked over to it and then carefully opened it trying not to let Jennifer see he had already made an entry which didn't work but she said nothing and sat patiently as he recorded the new events.
2014 October, Monday.
Hey it's me again, so I met Shela, she's an arctic wolf from the eastern tribes of the arctic circle where the rest of her family still lives, she was a little mean at first but after her and I bonded in the playroom for a little while she seems to be a very nice wolf. And she even answered some of my questions about why she was here. I know that Jennifer had asked me not too, but I couldn't help myself! Even though I didn't promise I wouldn't tell anyone, I'm going to say that I did, I think Shela would like that. Since she and I talked she seems to be a bit more open to the "help" but I don't think she really accepts it yet. But who knows. Any way diary, thanks for letting me talk to you and open up to you. Well I've got to go now, so see you tomorrow night. Sleep well.
When he was done, he closed the book cover and locked it up again then he capped his pen and put it back in the groove then he turned to Jennifer who was sitting there smiling at him sweetly. "so, you heard what Shela and I was talking about?" he asked his ears falling a bit as Jennifer nodded and picked him up and set him on her lap. "every word pup, and I have to say, the fact that you opened up to her without getting to really know her first was very brave of you, it's a big step in your trust problems, and that's the only reason I'm not upset that you didn't listen to me and asked about her problems. And I thought your claws were unusually dull. Normal fox's claws aren't normally supposed to be that blunt, now if you want, I know some ways to sharpen them back up for you, but it would mean going to a groomers, and you will have to prove you won't use them to hurt yourself if we get them sharpened again. Got it?" Kristoffer thought for a bit and then looked down his ears flattening, this concerned Jennifer, and made her wonder if maybe she had said something to upset him. "Kristoffer, what's wrong dear?" "It's well, it wouldn't be fair if I get to get my claws sharpened up, and Shela gets her blunted...If you are going to blunt hers, then I want mine blunted too, so it's more fare to her." Jennifer was shocked by this, He was really going out of his way to stand up for her, make deals with her based on what was fair and unfair, and trying to help make the situation easier on her at every step! He was making progress but at the same time, was un-intentionally setting himself back! "Kristoffer, are you sure that's what you really want sweetie? I mean you said your claws have been blunted before, and so you above all should know how painful it can be, are you really sure you want to go through with it?" Kristoffer looked up at Jennifer with a half sad half happy look on his face. "I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart, in time it will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard and got so far and in the end, I somehow made it matter after all."
"Kristoffer that's a good start but listen, if we're going to make this work, then you've got to let me inside even though it hurts." Kristoffer looked down then looked back up at Jennifer with a sad look. "But Jennifer, you know why I can't do that. Not yet. I'm still too broken." Jennifer put his pacifier back in his muzzle cutting him off then she laid his head against her breast where he could hear her heart beat and began to rock him gently, the rhythmic beat of her heart, and the soft rocking was making him sleepy but he still remembers the last thing he heard before sleep over took him, "don't hide the broken parts that I need to see, like it or not, it's the way it's got to be pup" after that, everything went black as Kristoffer succumbed to the darkness of sleep, Jennifer rocked him for a bit longer before she tucked him into his crib and went to help Blaze with Shela..