Never wake again.
Slight drug use... meh... just to be safe...
And here's Ian, after being rejected. This is just how I felt when my loved one told me we couldn't be... hope you like it. Comments are welcome.
"Rui"
The name was all that occupied his mind... it echoed inside his skull. Resonating until it was only but a distant whisper. "Why... why?" was all his lips whispered in the solitude of his dark room. Ian stared up at his ceiling, the only place in his room without any page filled of handwritten poems, uncolored drawings of the deer, or simply scribbled with his name that covered up his walls. "We're meant to be together... we... we are destined to be together... it's... it's fate..." His lost stare in the ceiling was both filled with desire and hope.
Suddenly, his arm was up in the air, stretching to an imaginary deer watching him back. "Rui... come to me..." Ian feverishly whispered, gesturing to his ceiling. But his illusion faded when a chilly draft whirled in his room from his open windows, distracting him from his thoughts. He got up to look out the window, to the town below the hill, with lights flickering everywhere. "If only I could see you from here..." He leaned over his window, looking at the night sky. "If only I could be with you in my dreams... and never wake again..." he wistfully sighed, thinking about his deer... about his graceful smile... his uplifting laugh.
He sighed again dreamily, imagining what his soft fur would feel like next to his cool scales, imagining him pressing up to his chest, sleeping with him in this cold windy night. He shook his head, tears sliding out of his eyes as he fixed his eyes at the approximate place where his deer lived. "If only..." his heart sunk, his memory recalling the dull pain he had in his heart... the cold feeling of being immersed in hopelessness... the sinking pain of rejection.
"I'm sorry Ian... but I don't love you." These words hit him as if they had been fired with crude precision to his heart, from a gun. "I don't love you... I loved someone else and he rejected me... why should I take you in?" Ian whimpered as he felt again the sinking sensation in his heart, and the memory of his deer turning his back to him, running away from him without even saying good bye.
Smiling weakly, he knew it was time to embrace the night... to vanish from this world. Waving goodbye at the deer running away from him, he picked up the syringe that lay next to him, plunged it in the pit of his elbow, and pushed the anesthesia in his veins.
"May the night never let me wake again..." He whispered before shutting his eyelids, vanishing from the world.