Silverback Episode 11

Story by Jazcal on SoFurry

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#11 of Silverback

Here it is and it is the longest one I have written in one piece so far. Preparations are being made to break the stalemate and for the allied forces to push into the Roarsi homeland.

Hope you enjoy and comments and critiques are always welcome!


The next morning came too quickly. I had had a difficult time sleeping. My mind was racing on top of the sounds in the distance. What sleep I did get was occupied with images of the dead and of Snow. I never realized how much I could love someone until I started dreaming of him, even though I knew that there was no chance of us ever existing together.

I got up out of my hole and went to check on the rest of the troops. They all seemed okay and most of them had gotten some sleep. They were all optimistic and ready to move out after seeing and hearing about what the enemy was capable of. I found Dilis on the far right flank looking over the ammo storage.

"Good morning Staff Sergeant!" I waved to him.

His ears perked up a bit and he turned around to face me. "This morning had better be good, because tomorrow will likely not be as good" he replied dropping his ears a bit.

"Oh, what is going on tomorrow?" I asked.

"Tonight, all of the artillery that was following us up the road will begin a massive barrage on the enemy positions in the forest across the field and continue the barrage deeper into their country as we advance."

"Yikes! I will let the troops know" I said turning to leave.

"Silverback no" he said laying a hand on my shoulder. "Not now, I will tell you when. Right now, ammunition and rations need to be distributed" he finished, taking his hand-paw away. He turned and went back to work. He rummaged through some papers and pulled one out. He examined it and nodded like it met his approval. He glanced back up at me and said, "Could you please send three guys to me to help distribute? I want you on the line in case of an attack."

"Yes Staff Sergeant" I said and left.

The three distributed extra rations and ammo to the Section and I informed everyone that they needed to ration their rations because they wouldn't be rations if we just ate them when we got them. I got a slight laugh but they did as they were told. I received my portion and sat down behind some rocks where I had a great view of the field, but the enemy would have a hard time spotting me. It was a beautiful day. The sky was clear and blue, the wind was gentle, and the sun was shining. It wasn't too hot or too cold. When I breathed in, the air was fresh and sweet. Aside from the distant explosions and gun fire, birds could be heard singing in the trees. Then it hit me. If there are animals in this forest then of course there had to be animals in the other forest and they would all be killed by the artillery barrage tonight! I knew I had to do something deep down.

I turned around to face a tree where a bird was perched. "Hey!" I barked. "Can you come here? I have something very important to ask of you and I am sure the Gods would like this to be done too."

"What? An anthro who speaks the language of a feral? Then you must then be the Interpreter. But word has it that the Interpreter has been given the blade of the Gods. Show it to me to prove your identity please," the bird sang.

"Oh, the blade" I had forgotten all about that and as I looked around, I found it on my belt. That is weird. I don't ever remember bringing it and I never even felt it and no one questioned me about it the entire time. I pulled it from the scabbard and barked back, "This blade?"

The bird swooped down and landed a few yards away and examined the color changing blade. Then he did a sort of bow and chirped, "Yes, I am sorry Interpreter. What is it that you ask of me?"

"There is going to be a great deal of destruction tonight and tomorrow in the forest across the field. If you could please spread the word over to there and try to get as many animals out of the area as possible, then many lives would be spared," I whimpered to the bird.

"Of course, I will spread the word," chirped the bird as it took off and flew over the field.

"I hope this works," I whimpered to myself.

"Even if it doesn't, it proves you have your heart and head in the right place," growled a voice behind me. I turned once again towards the forest to find Tiger walking towards me in an officer uniform. I was a bit taken back by His arrival and didn't say anything as He sat down next to me and stared across the field. He looked at me abruptly, straight in the eyes and I realized that I had been staring the entire time. I looked back at the field and remained silent.

"You know," He purred, "you could say 'thank you' for the compliment or possibly start some small talk."

"Sorry," I whimpered and lowered my ears. "This is still all new to me, Gods watching my every move and then jumping in to talk to me randomly. I mean, half of the time that you guys are around me I am scared to death and the other half I don't know what to do but ramble on and on."

"Sh" He purred in a soothing way. "Jazcal, there is no need to be afraid by what you have done and what you are doing. You are a soldier and We all understand the duties of a soldier. You will know when you have done something wrong, mark my words. As for the rambling, I personally find it amusing to watch you squirm and release the truth so willingly. It shows that you trust Us enough to tell Us almost anything. While flattering, it is also very comforting to me to know that the Interpreter is willing to serve his Gods and be honest with Them. That is one reason that you were chosen for this task," He finished with a yawn.

"Thank you," I yipped and I could feel my tail tensing to wag.

"That is a good start on all of the other reasons you were chosen but for now, I will leave you with this. No matter how horrible this war gets, you need to remember that hope can be found everywhere, if you look for it. Even in the darkest and most obscure places you can find. There will always be hope to be had" He purred. He got up and walked into the forest, never to reappear.

I sat there with my head spinning. Then I howled to the sky when the realization of me being alone sunk in, "Why do you guys always do that? You talk and give me advice, but I am not allowed to ask questions before you disappear." Then I realized where I was and hushed up, hoping no one heard it or that they would assume it was a feral wolf. I wanted to think more about what Tiger had said, but I knew that would only lead to a huge headache. Instead, I returned my attention to the field and watched the grass sway back and forth in the breeze. I pulled out my journal and started writing letters. I told Felix what I was going to be a part of tomorrow in an ambiguous way of course. Because I was pretty sure that the military randomly checked mail to make sure we weren't leaking information. I was a hot target I guess because every letter I received had already been opened and those I wrote to told me the same. I told my step-mom that I was fine and still alive. I did confess to her how horrible it was to kill someone, but that was about as far as I went with hers. I wrote a letter to Serio giving him some basic and general information about what was going on. Then I got to the letter that I was avoiding.

I looked up and gazed back out at the field. Still nothing was happening. I sat thinking about what I was going to write. The soft grass under me, my rifle propped up on the rocks in front of me and something nuzzling my arm. Wait! Nuzzling my arm? I looked down quickly to find a little brown rabbit peeking between my arm and my thigh.

"Oh, hello little one. Can I help you?" I murred down to it.

"So it is true," it squeaked up, "the Interpreter is here."

"Yes I am. I assume you heard about the evacuation then?"

"Yes I did and I have been spreading the word. I came here to tell you that many are heading your warning and fleeing from the forest across the field and the lands beyond. However, the day is going by quickly and it is possible that not everyone will make it out in time."

"I see... that is a shame," I whimpered and drooped my ears.

"Interpreter, you should be proud that you are going to save so many. Without your warning, many would possibly perish," grunted the rabbit as it hopped up onto my thigh.

"Thank you," I murred back. Its words had put me at ease a bit, even if I was still a little disappointed that I couldn't save everyone. There was also something about its behavior that didn't add up. If it was here to give me a report, then why did it hop up onto my thigh and get comfortable? "I suppose that is not the only reason you are here?"

The rabbit's ears turned slightly red as it blushed, "Well... not entirely. I wanted to see for myself that you existed and... you look like you could use some company."

"I suppose I could," I murred back. I shifted my journal to the other thigh and wrote "Snow" on the top.

"Watcha doin'?" squeaked the rabbit as it strained to see what I was writing.

"I am writing a letter to someone," I said as I stared blankly at the page.

"What does writing a letter do?" it looked up at me quizzically.

"Well, writing a letter is like talking, but it can be sent over a very long distance to someone far away," I smiled down at it.

"Oh that is cool. It is like when the wolves howl. Who are you talking to then?"

I sighed a bit. This rabbit has a lot of questions and is kind of annoying. At least it is cute I stoked its back gently, and soft. "I am writing to a friend back home."

"What kind of friend?"

"My best friend," I whimpered the lie.

"Then why are you disappointed to talk to your best friend? It should be a happy moment right?"

Damn, either this rabbit is way better than I thought, or I just suck at lying. Then I noticed my ears had dropped, I really need to work on my lying. "Well... you see, I don't know if he is my best friend anymore. I really messed things up."

"I am not sure about your kind, but amongst the animal kingdom a friend is a friend, no matter what happens between the two" it gave an assuring look up at me.

"Yeah but does that include telling HIM that I love him?" I could feel tears begin to well up again.

"Oh you are one of those." Its comment caught me off guard, but before I could respond it continued, "I think that it shouldn't matter still, you should talk to him anyways and if he is your best friend, then it won't matter."

This made me feel a bit better and the rabbit had a great point. However, what would I say then? "Then what should I tell him? Should I tell him what has been going on and act like it never happened? Or should I tell him how I feel about it?" I wined a bit.

"Both. I mean, do not act like it never happened because if that is how you feel then acting like it never happened would only hurt you."

I took a moment to think over what the rabbit had just said. Every time I tried to think of another reason as to why he was wrong, it was countered by many of the things that Dilis, Felix, and this rabbit had said to me. I was ashamed of myself. I had been avoiding the one thing that made me the happiest in this world because I was afraid of myself. Not what he would say, but how I would punish myself for not choosing the right direction. All of the worry had built up inside of me even though I had nothing to back it up but fear.

I took a shaky breath and a tear rolled down my muzzle as I hugged the rabbit. I wasn't sad, but rather relieved that I was prepared to do something and face the consequences head on no matter what they were.

The rabbit lent itself to being hugged for a moment, and then it began to struggle a little. I loosened my grip and it sat back on my lap. "What was that for?" it grunted up at me.

"Thank you. You have helped me gather myself together and give me the confidence to do what I need to do," I whimpered down to him with a little wag in my tail and my ears perked up. "Oh and what did you mean by, 'one of those'?"

"I meant that you were one of those animals who mates with others of the same gender."

"Do you have something against homosexuals?"

"Homo whats?"

"Animals who mate with other animals of the same gender. Do you have a problem with them?" I growled. I was starting to become frustrated with the rabbit despite its cuteness, honest eyes and great advice.

"Oh, no. It happens all the time with feral animals. I have just never understood why you would waste your time on someone when you aren't going to get any offspring out of it," it grunted.

I laughed all the tension easing. "That is a new way of thinking about it." Before I could continue, the rabbit perked up its ears and looked off to the right where the rest of my Section was.

A small Border Collie peaked around the trees and waved at me. "Hey Sarg! Food is ready and the Staff Sergeant wants to talk to you." He looked intently at the rabbit and opened his mouth like he was going to say something else, but then he left without a word.

"Oh my, I didn't realize how fast the day was going. I am sorry but I have to leave." He jumped off my lap and started to hop away. "And thank you again," I barked out.

"Don't mention it. Just make sure you follow through and I am sure you will not be disappointed." The rabbit picked up speed and disappeared into the forest.

I put my journal away and went to go eat. The food was always good and hot, but tonight, it tasted better. Sure it was the same stuff, but the thought of possibly dying made it taste much better. The Feldjägers took up the line for us while we ate. All of C Section was gathered together. Not one more, not one less. The troops seeing happy enough being that it was a very dull first day on the front.

Dilis cleared his throat and spoke up, "Alright C Section listen up! Tomorrow we are going to attack the enemy's position. There will be an artillery barrage starting in about half an hour so don't be afraid. Get some rest because we are to be up at 0500 tomorrow morning. Remember, no lights, no noise, and stay vigilant. Who knows what the Roarsi will do when they are getting bombarded. So take shifts sleeping with your partner and be ready for anything. Am I clear?"

"Yes Staff Sergeant," they all said in a monotone, and much rehearsed, voice.

"Good. Let's give it to 'em boys."

Dinner ended rather quickly and we took up our previous positions with the Feldjägers. I asked a few of them what it was like to be in an attack. They all said it was better than getting attacked until you got to the enemy's position. Then it was about the same as yesterday. The most common piece of advice given was, "Keep your head down, rifle ready, and keep shooting."

The first mortar shots were fired at the edge of the enemy's forest and unlike the last time I had seen them fire, they continued at a steady pace of fire. While this was happening, a supply soldier came around and handed us each one grenade for tomorrow. I stowed it in the appropriate pocket and hunkered down. What came next made me jump. The thunderous roar of hundreds of artillery pieces suddenly going off all at once was truly terrifying, even though they were friendly. But the sound of them being fired paled in comparison to the sound and the sight of them impacting and exploding. Trees were splintered and cut down, huge pillars of dirt were sent skyward, and the dust began to swirl into a thick blanket where we could only hear and see the flashes of the explosions.

I noticed the small Border Collie from before beside me shaking at the sight. "You alright soldier?" I asked.

"Yes Sarg. It's just, the thought of what those poor anthros are going through and how it must feel is just terrifying." He glanced over at me, "Is it okay to be scared Sarg?"

I smiled a little and nodded, "We should all be scared soldier. After all, who knows what is going to happen tomorrow?"

"Whatever does happen, the Royal Fang Garde will be right up in front to deal with it right?"

"With honor and courage we will win the day!" I said with confidence even though the uncertainty was building up within me. But I could see that I had satisfied the Collie as his tail gave a slight wag and he stared back across at the destruction. "You and your partner get some sleep." I patted his shoulder as I got up and headed out to find Dilis.

Walking down the line, I stopped at every group of soldiers and checked up on them and encouraged them. Whether I was ready for tomorrow or not, the troops were prepared to do their duty.

I found Dilis in the center of the line, kicked back against a tree and watching the show. He pushed his helmet up a bit when I approached and smiled up at me, tail wagging lightly at his side. "So, how are the troops on that side?" he asked me looking back at the spectacle.

"They are ready and willing," I replied kneeling down.

"Good, good. That means that C Section is ready to fight," he shifted to face me more, "How about you? How are you feeling?" he questioned.

"Fine, a little scared but ready to do my duty," I replied.

"Are you really prepared to do all of your duty? For your country? Your fellow soldiers? Your friends?" he insisted.

The last one caught me off guard, but I was ready to answer him definitively this time. "Yes I am," I responded with confidence.

"Oh really? And how far have you gotten with the "friends" part of your duty?" he asked with a sly grin across his muzzle.

"I am going to start right now actually," I replied with a firm nod and sat down next to him. I stooped down hastily and we knocked helmets.

"Whoa there, I believe you. But what will you say?" he asked taking his helmet off and rubbing his ears.

I took out my journal and stated, "The truth."

"I see, well let me know if you need some help with that. I think I am going to try and get some shut eye if you don't mind," he yawned and leaned back fully against the tree.

"Sure thing," I said opening the journal to the page with "Snow" written on it.

"Wake me up in a couple of hours alright?" he said lazily as he closed his eyes.

"Yes Staff Sergeant."

I turned my attention fully to the paper. I have to do this, I thought to myself, no help from anyone else, not even the Gods. This needs to be all me and no one else, Snow deserves that at the very least. I started to write. At first it came slowly to me and as I went, it became easier. I got into the mindset that I was writing to my best friend and he might be worried about me, even if that was a lie. I told him about the past couple of days from the train station (minus the crying on my part) all the way up to the artillery barrage that was still taking place even though it had begun to creep deeper into enemy territory. I got finished with all of the summarizing and I felt good about it, but I wasn't done yet. I hadn't told him that I was going into combat, and most importantly, I hadn't told him anything about how I felt about our relationship.

I looked up from the page and took a breath. I had hit a wall. The sun had recently retreated beyond the horizon and the night began to grow dark. Flares were already being fired by our side over the field, but not a single one came from the enemy. I got up to stretch a little and look up and down the line for any lights. Seeing that there were none, I sat back down and looked at my watch. It had only been about 30 minutes from when I had started. My head was beginning to hurt from all of the thoughts crashing through my head. I wanted to finish the letter and get it sent out immediately, but I didn't know how I wanted to word the last bit. It had to be perfect.

I glanced over at Dilis who was sound asleep. I watched him through the light of the flares as he breathed. I watched his chest rise and fall; his nose and whiskers twitch in his sleep. How his eye twitched every now and again making the white flecks on his cheeks dance and bend the solid white line on his face this way and that. His ears bounced around where they folded down in a charming way.

Caught up in admiring Dilis, it hit me. I quickly grabbed my pencil and began to write as best as I could in the dim light of the flares:

Tomorrow is a going to be a big day. An attack is scheduled to follow the artillery barrage first thing in the morning and my battalion is going to be leading the charge. Regardless of what happens, I want you to know Snow that you are the best friend I could ever ask for and that I will always love you. Jazcal

The last five words clung at my heart. I could feel a tear rolling down my muzzle as I quickly licked at it to prevent it from falling onto the paper. I don't want him to know that I cried. I will write a million letters before I let him know that I cried over him. Especially if... no I am not going to do that again to myself. I tore out the page, folded it, and put his address on the front.

"So..." I heard a yawn next to me, "you actually wrote it." Dilis had awoken and was looking at me through partially opened eyes.

"I am sorry if I woke you. I just caught myself second guessing myself again and I kind of took it out on the page ripping" I explained a bit shyly. "Would you mind if I ran down to the letter station and mailed it real quick?"

"Naw, go get it done. It's not like the war is going anywhere anyways."

"Thanks," I said quickly getting up and running down the trail towards the forward HQ.

I handed it to the mail carrier who was making one last run before the night train left. He sealed my letter shut and ran off into the night without a word. I let exhaled not realizing that I had been holding my breath. I turned and walked back towards C Section. I passed by many soldiers including the Feldjägers and every one that I passed by, who was awake, gave me a pat on the back or a salute and wished me good luck tomorrow. As I approached where Dilis was resting at, I noticed several other soldiers standing around him, talking to him. I labeled a few of them as rabbits by their ears and a couple of mice, but the remainders were a mystery to me. I began to ascend to their position when they saluted and left quickly.

"Who were they?" I asked when I had reached Dilis.

"Those rabbits, mice and otters are going to be our brave runners tomorrow during the fighting," he replied with a look on his face that led me to think he was holding something back.

"Alright, just checking," I sat back down at my previous spot and took my helmet off and shook my ears. It felt great not having them cramped up in that helmet. "I wonder how they got that dream job?" I asked not expecting an answer.

"Sergeant, I don't want you making fun of those anthros," he looked at me and I could tell that I had stumbled upon the hidden information. "Those soldiers are going to be risking their lives to relay information around the battlefield and they will targeted first over the general every time. They are the bravest of the brave that our nation has to offer in order to take that assignment. It is by no means a "dream job,"" he crossed his arms and with a stern look said, "Get some sleep, I will take watch for a while."

I was so embarrassed. My ears drooped to their lowest since I took the helmet off. I hadn't realized what it meant to be runner until he said that. I opened my mouth to apologize, but he looked like he didn't want to hear it. I slouched down and closed my eyes, silently promising to protect those anthros to the best of my ability and somehow make up for my comment.