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I looked down at my granddaughter. For once, her tail wasn't wagging.

"Grandpa, Grandpa! This is terrible!"

The little Great Dane jumped around on her four feet, eyes frantic. She looked so much like a tiny version of me that I wondered whether she'd grow as fast and as big as me, too.

"What is it?" I asked, though I knew. All the adults at the dog park knew.

"Something terrible has happened to Jiff! And I think I know what..." said Elsa.

"What?" I asked her.

"She was abducted! The second worst thing that can happen to you," the puppy explained. I cocked my head at her, but she kept her conviction even in the face of my scrutiny.

"You've ranked the worst things?" I glanced at the concerned parents as they milled around nervously. The police dogs were taking turns questioning everybody about the missing girls.

"Not me - Daddy did," she admitted. "The fifth worst thing is getting lost, the fourth worst thing is getting neutered...whatever that means."

I was taken aback. I assumed neutering would be my son's greatest fear. "What else?" I asked, curious.

"Third worst is losing a leg - like when Foofoo got hit by a car."

"What happened to him?"

Elsa growled softly, just remembering what happened. Then she narrated, "He ran into the street without looking both ways and a Prius ran smack over his leg. He didn't die though, but they cut his leg off."

I gave an officer a polite nod. The German Shepherd had already questioned me, so he moved on to the next adult. "Why is being abducted the second worst thing?"

"Because of pedophiles! I bet that's what happened to Jiff and Milly. They got grabbed and now they're in for it..."

"In for what?" I asked, wondering exactly what my son had told her.

"The bad dog is going to rape them, over and over. That's what happened to Vera, too. She could barely walk when they found her, because she was taken by a Rottweiler who was way too big for her. Giving birth almost killed her! But at least she didn't die." Elsa spoke so matter-of-factly about her friend's horrible fate that I almost chuckled, despite myself.

"Is dying the worst thing?"

"Of course," Elsa replied. "Like when Andy got electrocuted into a burnt crisp, or when Bonbon got hit by a car. When they found her she was half-eaten by crows. Or Vadar!" She exclaimed suddenly.

"What happened to him?"

"Swallowed alive by an escaped python," she said proudly. "They looked everywhere for him until they found it, belly almost bursting."

She seemed positively fascinated by death. Looking the half-year-old puppy over, I made a snap decision. "I've gotta go to the bathroom," I said.

Elsa said, "Huh?" but I was already walking toward the nearest officer.

"It's been hours," I complained. "My grandaughter needs to...do her business."

"So do it," the canine cop replied, looking down at Elsa, who'd followed me. "Two girls have disappeared, you know, and we've got work to do."

Coughing, I hung my head, leaned forward, and whispered to the young dog. "Shy bladder," I explained.

Perhaps because I was old he took pity on me. "Fine, you can take her behind the bushes there, but keep her close. There's no telling whether there's a predator still around or not."

"Thank you," I said gratefully. "And I'll keep her very close. I don't want her to end up like those other girls." I walked over to the bushes, Elsa in tow.

"Why did you tell him that? I don't have to go," Elsa asked, curiously.

Now that we had a little privacy, I sat my heavy rump down and curled my thick, brown tail around my legs, looking down at Elsa. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Let me tell you a secret." I had her rapt attention now. My granddaughter _loved_secrets. I could only guess how she'd take this one. I continued, voice soft and low, "I know where Jiff and - Milly, was it? - are."

Elsa's eyes widened. "Did you see the pedophile? Why didn't you tell the police?"

I smiled at her. "There was no pedophile. The second worst thing didn't happen to them."

"Did they get lost?" she asked quickly. "Did you see them wander off? Where are they?" she added, tail flicking impatiently.

Leaning back, I smiled at Elsa and lifted one paw to pat my aging gut. "In here," I said simply.

She looked at my thick stomach, easily big enough to hide her two friends, but she just furrowed her brow and said, "That's not funny, Grandpa. Did you really see them?"

"I'm not joking. When Milly was playing hide and seek behind the water cooler and no one else was looking, I gobbled her down. Two quick gulps, and she was gone. Jiff was just one gulp; as she slid down the big metal slide, I was waiting at the bottom with my mouth wide open."

"I don't get it. Where are they really?" She still didn't believe me. Should I cut my losses, or go for broke?

"In here," I said again, rubbing my fat belly. She rolled her eyes, so I said, "Come, feel."

As Elsa moved closer, I gave a loud belch, finally releasing some of the rank, steamy air from my stomach. Sure enough, the last small bit of swallowed oxygen vanished, and my gut began to move. Elsa's eyes widened, and I pushed her head up against my furry belly so that her ear was right up against me.

She could feel and hear it now, the last, desperate struggles and whimpers from her friend, Jiff. Milly was long gone by now, and soon both pups would just be food filling my stomach. "That's really her! How could you eat her, she's my friend!" she gasped, trembling.

"She _was_your friend. Now she's dog food. How does that make you feel?" I couldn't have known that the dog going down the slide was her friend. I watched Elsa carefully, but I could already see the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Grandpa, why? Please, please let her out...please!"

"It's too late for her. Can't you feel it? She's hardly moving now."

Elsa pulled away from me, crying. "No. Stop, Grandpa! No!"

"I'm sorry, Elsa. I can't. It's too late. But there is something you can do for me."

Through her sniffles, the little Dane said, "...What?"

"I'm still hungry. What say you convince another little pup to come out here to the bushes with you," I said, hoping against hope that she'd say yes.

"What? No!" she gasped, horrified.

"Maybe a pup you don't like very much? I'll even let you watch." This was her last chance - one way or another, she'd have a front row seat as I had my third snack.

"No way! Grandpa, why? I've...gotta go..." she said, spinning in place.

My paw landed with a thud on her tail. She wasn't going anywhere. Smiling sadly at my stunned, weeping granddaughter, I said, "I'm sorry, Elsa." Her eyes widened again as she struggled to pull her tail free. I continued, "You know where you're going now, don't you?"

Trembling, tears in her eyes, Elsa nodded. I gave her once last, disappointed smile before plunging my large, floppy jowls around her. She was so small that my teeth slid around her like a cage. I lifted her with just the strength from my tongue, raising my head and tilted back until my granddaughter's head was pressed up against my throat. Her little legs kicked uselessly out of my mouth, and Elsa squeaked as her little head was suddenly engulfed in darkness. My tight, warm throat closed around her head, muffling her sudden, urgent cries. Too late for that, I knew.

My son was _not_going to be happy. He'd made me promise I wouldn't eat her, but we both knew that promise could only go so far. It's not like he'd never eaten a pup before! When I explained to my son that I'd swallowed his friends, he had been more interested than horrified, and had even brought me a third snack. Elsa, on the other paw, had volunteered herself. He had plenty of daughters; he'd forgive me eventually.

Elsa kicked and squealed and whimpered, but there was no hope for her. I was already drooling, and she slid down almost as easily as Jiff. First her head, and then her front paws, and then her midsection slipped into my squeezing, churning esophagus, allowing my to close my mouth completely. Down she slid, nothing more than a thick bulge in my throat.

My stomach rumbled, and I groaned contentedly. She might be my kin, but she was just as delicious as her friends had been. For one, blissful second, her entire body was tucked neatly in my esophagus. The next, firm _gulp_sent her splashing into my stomach alongside her friends.

Belch! "Excuse me!" I said, patting my stomach. I could feel her squirming around in there, the lack of oxygen quickly getting to her. Her kicks and struggles weakened fast. Groaning, I lay down until she stilled almost completely. I wasn't _about_to get caught.

With a nice thick belly that just made me look a tad overweight, I panted as I crawled out of the brush, looking for the first officer I could find. Putting everything I could into it, I gasped, "Help, help! I looked away for _one_second and she was gone! Someone took my Elsa!"

The parents all looked startled and huddled protectively around their children. Now they all knew that there was definitely a monster on the loose, hunting for pups. The police gaped and quickly organized the parents into groups for safe escort to their homes as a young officer questioned me about what I'd seen, if anything.

"I sure hope you can find the bastard who did this!" I said at the end of the interview. "And return my girl safe!"

"We'll do our best, sir. This park is closed until further notice." He never noticed the small stirring in my gut. I walked home fat, safe, and happy, trying to figure out exactly what I'd say to my son. The police were fixated on the idea that a pedophile had stolen the children.

They never thought to look for a _real_child predator.