The Myrakkari Chronicles (v.1.0) Chapter One
#1 of Story Drafts - For SF Member Critique
This is the first draft of the first chapter in my story series that I am writing. THIS IS A CRITIQUE PIECE ONLY, AND NOT THE FINAL DRAFT!
Feel free to comment, or offer suggestions.
THE MYRAKKARI CHRONICLES - CHAPTER ONE - A NEW BEGINNING
Chapter One
The Myrakkari Chronicles©
By KittaniPuma
Copyright: KittaniPuma 2014
https://kittanipuma.sofurry.com/
Chapter One
A NEW BEGINNING
The immense expanse of the Mezeronan Forests sprawled out in all directions, as far as even the most keen eye could see. The bright red-gold glow of the morning star streamed its first rays of the morning atop the canopies of the yudaji trees; their blue-green leaves swaying lazily in the temperate breeze as flocks of the brightly plumed kudabi birds began their buzzing morning songs.
Slithering down the trunks of the colossal yudaji: The green-flecked black suuil horned-serpents began their decent to the forest floor, looking for their morning meal and the slinking dark grey-black atiikan dogs began to creep out of their thicket dens to do the same.
Contrary to the deceptive calm that seemed to permiate the forest, the green was alive with the most exotic creatures; all now welcoming the coming of the morning star in their own natural ways.
Meanwhile, deep in the heart of the forest, dwelt the feline Myrakkari: a collage of different tribes; banded together to form one. Years ago, the warlike Setalu had attacked several of the feline tribes boardering the Mezeronan forests. Seeking new lands and plunder, they were swift to prey upon the once-peaceful villages. The canine wartribes of the Setalu had cut a swath of destruction across the feline ancestral home; raping, pillaging and setting alight all who resisted. Those who had survived, fled to the deep green of the Mezeronan forests, where the Setalu dared not enter; for it was a sacred place to all of The Sphere.
The Mezeronan Forest was a place of peace. The forest , it was said, was where the gods dwelt, and therefore: was ordained to swallow up any intruders that brought war with them.
And so, here the feline tribes banded together to rebuild their lives. Families were raised. Huts were rebuilt and fresh game was plentiful. However, despite their peaceful lives, the Myrakkari hadn't forgotten their ancestral home; their home that burned with an innermost fire in their hearts.... a desire to return to the land of their heritage.
~
Maya roared with pain as the tribal midwives braced her. Their glowing green healing salves covered her sweating body as she gasped and cried out. "Oh gods!" She gasped, laying on a heap of pelts which served as a birthing bed. Clothed in the traditional green Myrakkari birthing garments, merely ribbons of green cloth wrapping their bodies, the midwives spoke in hushed tones to the mother; attempting to calm her, and reassure her that the kitten was coming soon.
With each contraction, an undescribable thunderbolt of pain ribboned throughout the mother's body. Maya roared again, and again. She was frightened. It had been almost two days! Why wasn't the kitten here yet? Another bolt of pain, followed by her screaming roar. Maya stared, tears streaming down her cheeks, at her husband; a black panther warrior named Argoth, who knelt by her side, Maya's paw in his, gripping tightly.
"Something's wrong!" She screamed.
Another contraction. Torrenting pain. Maya's echoing scream.
Argoth clenched his golden eyes as he bent down to touch his nose upon his mate's head. His atiikan dog fang necklace brushed her soaked hair.
"I'm here, beloved. I'll never leave you. You are strong; the Myrakkari's most talented huntress.
The kitten is coming."
Maya roared again. This time, her cries were accompanied by a terrified sob as her strength began to falter.
Argoth licked Maya's forehead before he turned to snarl at the ancient lioness in the corner of the hut, who was chanting her shamanistic blessings and rattling her thorned fetishes.
"When!?" Argoth roared. His eyes glowed ferociously as he warrior trembled with anger. He never held much belief in the shaman's powers. However, his faith in the gods were never as challenged as this. "Speak witch! When is my son going to be born?" He hissed his words with such vem, that the shaman had to take a few steps back into the wall of the hut.
"The kitten is coming, Argoth, you must trust in the gods! It will be very soon." The shaman began to sweat. It has been a long time since Maya went into labor, and she began to feel uneasy. Her reputation as the village shaman was at stake. Not only that, but Maya was as a daughter to her; ever since she lost her own kitten to the Setalu.
"It had better, woman. Or I will rend your throat...." Suddenly, Maya screamed an earsplitting roar that seemed to shake the hut. The midwives winced, but their dicipline steadied their paws from leaving the labored mother. Argoth clenched his mate's paw tightly and tears began to form in his golden eyes. "Please, Maya, you must breathe. Breathe, beloved. Breathe!" The warrior held his mate's paw to his chest as the tears in his eyes began to trail down his cheeks. He clenched his eyes tightly as he kissed his mate's paw. Maya roared again as another contraction took hold.
The proud panther warrior looked up from his laboring mate to the azure sky that shown through the smoke-hole in the hut's roof, and suddenly, he cried out,
"Gods of the Sky! Goddesses of the Earth and Spirits of My Ancestors! I beg of you! Deliver us our child! May she pass through the Eye of the Sphere into our home! Hear us!"
Argoth drew a deep breath, and with Maya's final contraction, he let out a fierce desperate roar that thundered through the trees into the very heavens above. The creatures of the Mezeron fled from the terrifying sound. The birds took to the skies, and all that remained was the echoing roars of husband and wife, calling in desperation to the gods above and below for mercy.
~
Small mewing sounds emenated from the hut, surrounded by clamoring villagers. Maya and Argoth lay side by side, sobbing with incredible joy as they gazed at the newborn kitten in
Maya's arms. Wrapped in soft fabric made from weavings of shed fur, the little kitten mewed softly at it's mother.
Maya smiled through weary eyes as she looked up at her mate.
"Our precious girl. Oh, she looks so much like you."
Argoth purred, "I say she looks like her mother; strong and lovely."
He bent down and kissed his mate passionately. The kitten mewed louder.
Maya chuckled softly and held up the newborn kitten to her breast; who nuzzled it and began to suckle. Maya purred and Argoth brushed his paw over Maya's shoulder lovingly as she fed her kitten.
"She is such a treasure." Maya purred. "The gods have heard us...." She looked up at her mate, smiling. "....and heard you."
Argoth smiled, and raised his eyes, looking once again to the sky above.
"...Yes." He smiled, gratefully. "....Yes they have."
The tribal shaman walked up, shakily; an acolyte supporting her from both sides. "For which, you should be eternally grateful." Her voice was harsh, but wavered as her talismans and charms, which dangled from her clothing rattled and clinked. The effort of performing the sacred rituals to the gods, were very demanding, and some said that it may stand to paw with the actual birth itself. However, she could still be up and about, unlike Maya, who couldn't move from the birthing bed.
"We ARE grateful, Teza. More than anyone could possibly imagine! How could you even believe that we aren't?" Maya stared incredulously at the shaman, whose gaze softened at the sight of Maya nursing the newborn.
Argoth, however, became angry. His fur prickled and stood along his back as his nostrils flared. "Teza! You....." The warrior's voice trailed off as he took a deep breath, and released it; though never taking his glaring golden eyes from the ancient lioness shaman. "We ARE grateful. AND we are extremely grateful for the service you did for our family. We welcome you into our home, Lady Teza." Argoth's gaze softened somewhat, humbling himself as he reminded himself of the shaman's loyalty to duty and to tribe.
The lioness shaman blinked, impressed by the warrior's self-control. Then, surprising the couple, she smiled; something that was a rare sight in the village. "Good, Argoth. Your dicipline will serve you well in the years to come." The old shaman staggered in, led by her acolytes and was seated by the couple. "Keep your dicipline close to your heart. Both of you." She brushed her greyed paw softly along side the kitten, whom had drunk it's full, yawned, and began to drift off to sleep in her mother's arms. "For it will serve you in the difficult years to come."
Maya and Argoth looked at the lioness quizzically as she rummaged in her clothing and brought out three stones, a feather, a necklace of bones and a red crystal. "These were found under your doorstep this morning, as is tradition before a birthing. These objects are omens." Teza held up the three stones. "These symbolize the three moons of the goddess which travel across the heavens of The Sphere. These fortell that your child will be sacred to the goddess. And to the goddess, she owes her life." Maya's golden brown eyes widened, though Argoth, unaware of the mysteries of the goddess, looked worridly at the reaction of his mate. "What does that mean, exactly?" He asked.
The lioness shaman smiled reassuredly. "It means, that your daughter may be destined to become a priestess."
This time, Argoth's eyes widened. It was a great honor to become the Myrakkari Priestess! Pride filled the warrior's heart as he beamed at his wife and sleeping child.
"There is more...." The shaman's tone lowered worridly. Argoth turned to the shaman again, who held up the feather. "This was found in your hearth during childbirth. This omen, is an omen of warning. Your daughter will be drawn to explore the forest. Many dangers are out there for her, and I fear that if she flees to the forest without caution, she....." The shaman hesitated and sighed. "....She may not return."
Argoth gently put his arm around his wife, defensively. "Is there anything that could be done?"
The wise shaman held up her paw. "Wait, there is more." She held up the necklace of bones. "This was shown to me by the spirits as I performed the rites of birthing. It is an omen that fortells that your daughter is going to be a mighty huntress. She will have powerful medicine. Powers of intellect and cunning, which will serve her well in the forest."
Argoth leaned back.
The lioness picked up the red crystal. "And this..... has not appeared in a Myrakkari village for hundreds of years. It is a bloodstone fragment from the Heart of Sphere; an ancient and holy artifact. It was said that it was stolen by the Setalu from our most sacred shrine.
Ages ago, before the feline tribes created the bow or spear; the Heart of Sphere was set into the crown of the first of the tribe's namesake: The Lord Myrakkar.... our first ancestor."
Maya and Argoth sat quietly. Questions flew through both their minds, though Maya spoke up.
"What does it mean?"
Teza smiled warmly and gently placed her paw on the sleeping kitten and whispered, "It means that your daughter is a precious treasure. A treasure with a destiny.... Raise her well, Maya and Argoth. For she may well carry the future of the Myrakkari....." The ancient lioness motioned for her acolytes who helped her to her feet. She shuffled to the hut doorway and turned her head to glance back at the new parents. "....A future for us all."
The shaman exited the hut; leaving the hushed parents and their sleeping kitten.
"Argoth?" Maya placed a paw on her mate's chest, who turned his head to smile lovingly at her.
"Don't worry, beloved. Nothing will harm our kitten."
The warrior hugged her close, careful not to wake their sleeping daughter.
"Nothing will harm our treasure." He kissed her muzzle and watched his newborn daughter sleep.
Maya smiled. "That is what we are going to call her... Treasure... in ancient Myrakkari." Maya looked down at her sleeping kitten who yawned and mewed softly in her sleep.
Maya whispered to her, softly. "Our little Kittani....."