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Hidden: Chapter 16

Clinging On

I was led from the room by the guards, leaving behind Captain Norman and the oddly silent Crane in the war room. I mulled over the thought of killing the captain as I was led past my original room and toward the brig. It would have been easy. He was fat and vulnerable when he was standing next to me. One swipe at his neck would have done it, no need to make such a mess. A bit of restraint, I would still retain my identity if I consciously kept my more animalistic behavior in check. It would have been a choice that I would have made, not giving in to urges.

I mentally shook my head. It was that voice, full of rage and spite. Whenever I let my guard down, it would taunt me relentlessly, trying to get past the mental walls I had to take control. I had it under control at the time, but I had no idea how long I would be able to keep it under control. That day dream, flash, or whatever, was too close for comfort. I told the admiral I would keep it in check and I fully intended to do so. It was one thing I would have control over in this situation.

The brig was not much. A destroyer wasn't designed to take on prisoners so it was more like a few rooms that were always under guards. It would have been no different if I was locked in my room. I was shoved in as soon as the door opened. Luckily, the admiral was there and he caught me, nearly falling over. He held on to me for a moment and let me go. I stood up, brushing down any fur that was standing up or had been flattened in the wrong direction. It was interesting how it became part of my routine to take some time to make sure my fur was in good shape. It was also maddening because if I didn't it would gnaw on my mind until I gave in.

When I finished my grooming, I looked at the admiral who had gone over and sat on the bed. There was only one bed and a chair by a small desk.

'He's old and weak.' The voice was just a whisper, but it was enough to annoy me. I pushed it away.

"The Mars base." The admiral spoke up, looking down at the dull, gray metal decking under his feet. "If the reports is true, then it must be gone." The usual air of confidence that radiated from all high ranking officers that I had met was gone, replaced by an old defeated man. "Then there are the other bases. So many lives just gone under the mushroom cloud." Using his hands, the admiral exaggerated an explosion. "Gone, poof, just... like... that."

Moving to sit beside him, I reached out and rested a paw on his shoulder. Feeling the bone and loose skin, I could only think about how frail we all really were. "Sir... this isn't the time to mope." Not exactly the most inspirational thing to say, but it was all I had. I wanted to mope with him a bit. Seeing him sad made me feel sad as well. Damn dog behavior. I really was his pet in a way. I followed him everywhere, basked in his praise and wanted nothing more than to please him. Captain Norman's threat lingered on my mind. I need to play along for the admiral's sake.

A hand reached up and grabbed mine. "It isn't, your right, yet here I am, moping." The hand squeezed mine and I whined. "No, offense to you, but I've always had a soft spot for dogs." I didn't take offense, not from him. "Big eyes full of expression, those tails that wag at the littlest sign of attention..." He looked at me smiling. "Man's best friend." I wagged my tail, but for some reason, that made him frown. He let go of my paw and turned away. "The problem is, you're no dog. You were a man at one point. Yet, I still tried to turn you into one." My hand was still on his should and I slipped it off and brought into my lap.

"Sir, I don't hate you for what you've done if that's what you're implying." He slumped a bit and gave a loud sigh that made my ears twitch.

He ran a hand through his thinning hair. 'No, it's not that, it's... it's..." He stumbled over the one word. I knew he wanted to say it, but why was he so scared to say it? How could be any worse than what I had already heard? NATO was pretty much gone, whatever was left would take years to recover. The members of NATO would be hesitant to commit large amount of resources when they knew now that someone had to means to blow them away on a whim. What did he still have to hide?

I gave him a moment and he sighed one more time. "I can't keep it secret forever." He shifted to look at me. I didn't nice it before, but he was on the verge of breaking down. His jaw was clenched and he had his fists balled up so tightly his knuckles became white. "I am the reason why this is all happening." I had heard that one before, from my own mouth at one point. I didn't understand how he would justify it. "A while ago, I was contacted by Dr. Ruse." The mention of the doctor got my absolute attention. "I got him to Mars, but not before the Eurasia incident." He looked at me guiltily. "After that he continued his research, the research that created the gas that changed you." He put his hand on my chest. I watched it as it moved with each breath I took. Soothing, the way it went up and down, rising and falling.

"How does that mean this is all your fault? The Eurasia was a freak accident." The hand left my chest leaving me feel lonely.

"Let me finish boy." He said to me. "After the incident and it was brought to my attention that you were alive and... well. Dr. Ruse tried to get you for his research, whatever that was. I wouldn't let him have you, it wasn't right to let him experiment on you when you were still so human. In exchange, I got him other subjects, the werewolves from the ship." I winced a bit at that. I didn't agree on experimenting on them since it still felt like they were people at one time. On the ship, I saw them as enemy combatants capable of killing me and that justified my actions, but this was a bit too much. I was about to voice my concern but he continued.

"You're going to hate me for the next part." His eyes made contact with mine, they were sincere. "I later learned that Dr. Ruse had gotten a hold of Crane..." I took a quick breath in, nearly choking on it. "I let him keep him. When I saw him, he wasn't all there, just a husk with bits and pieces clinging on, so I let him keep him." I got up and looked down at the man. He made no move to run.

'Kill him. He betrayed you. He said he would rescue him.' The voice was loud now, pounding my thoughts. 'He lied. He's responsible.' I tried to shake it out, but it kept coming at me. 'He's weak, vulnerable. Kill him.' I was about to lose it when a soft touch on my arm got my attention. The voice faded away in an instant at it.

"He was going to use him to get to you." He tightened his grip on my arm. "He was going to take you and I couldn't let him, so I took you with me. I never did get permission to bring you along today. As an admiral, people just don't question you, so I took you away." I was breathing heavily, the voice may have retreated, but I still felt its presence. It nearly got through again. Twice in one day. Too close, too many times.

I was too lost in thought that I didn't notice the admiral get up. He stepped towards and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I was caught off guard and I let out a muffled yelp and nearly threw him off. I stopped when I felt the shuddering and heard a sob from him.

"I'm so sorry for all of this." He cracked and held to me. "So many dead, so much suffering. I should have stopped this all when I had the chance. It all makes sense now." He was more just mumbling between each deep breath that he took and it was hard to understand. "Dr. Ruse was always against us, I knew it as soon as Crane walked into the room. He's responsible and yet I'm no more innocent for letting this happen." He quieted down after that, still crying over my shoulder. I patted him lightly on the back. I was mad at him a bit for not keeping his promise, but I was determined to get to Dr. Ruse. I didn't think that the admiral would create such a farce to pass most of the blame off to someone else. If what he told me was true, then Dr. Ruse was controlling all of this.

I set the admiral down on the bed. He laid down and after a few minutes he was asleep. I took a seat on a chair that was by a desk. There was nothing to do, but plot. If the doctor needed me for his research, then that's where Captain Norman would be taking us. The problem was, I didn't know where they were taking us. He could be anywhere, the solar system was a big place and there were so many possibilities.

Right then, my prayers were answered. There was an electronic crack as the intercom came on. "All crew t-minus 15 minutes until arrival to Mars. T-minus 15 minutes." There was another crack as the audio was cut off.

Mars made sense. If Dr. Ruse was at the facility, then he would have been underground where it was safe from whatever kind of device was used to destroy the surface. Also, no one would try to come when there was the radiation danger. Dr. Ruse simply had to stay where he was and let us come to him. He had his facilities to run his experiments and plenty of test subjects. If he just went on like normal, the rest of the facility's personnel wouldn't question him, they would be too busy getting the rationing ready. It would be hard to get to Dr. Ruse alone, but I needed answers. I would get the answers to the question I asked him way back on the Eurasia, then I would kill him to simply rid the world of him.

It was barely a plan, more of an idea really, but it was a start. The finer points would piece themselves together once we got to the planet and into the facility. I would also need to get the admiral to safety as well. I went on like this, completely focused on the task at hand, a good trait that I got from being part dog I suppose. Some dogs, I had seen before, were so focused while others couldn't even lick their own balls for more than a few seconds before they got bored. Glad I was a shepherd and not some lab.

The door to the room opened and two guards stepped in followed by Crane. He looked at me and then the admiral who was slowly waking up from the sudden noise of their arrival. "Hey cap. Get the old man, we're leaving." The admiral called him a husk with bits clinging on. I wondered how much exactly was still hanging on. He still had his laid back speech pattern and called me cap. Did he know who I was, or was that just a part of his old self that made him call me cap without him knowing it? I pondered a bit more as I helped the admiral up.

We were led to the airlock where more guards were waiting with the fat man. "Sadly I won't be joining you on the way down." He moved off to the side so I could squeeze by. When I got past him, I turned around.

"If you got on the shuttle, we would come crashing down to the surface." I knew he couldn't do anything about a joke. The remark got a few snickers, even one from Crane, but it quickly went away when Norman glared at the dog. He stormed off without another word, but Crane didn't laugh again, he went back to that empty kind of way. The puppet without strings, just waiting for someone to move him along.

We got on the shuttle, a guard had to push Crane on board who got a bit better once things began to move again. I sat next to the admiral, Crane was directly across from us and five guards were situated around us. It was a silent ride down to the red surface, the only noise was a radiation alarm that went off, signaling that we were getting close. Closer to Dr. Ruse.

'Kill him, he's the one responsible.' Even though the voice seemed to blame whoever took its fancy, I thought about it. 'Rip him to shreds.' I didn't think about that one and quickly expelled the voice.

The ship set down with a thud and the pilot came into back. "As soon as I open the doors, get moving. There is a lot of radiation, but I set us down next to the elevator. It's a tough son of a bitch with emp shielding and should still be working. Move fast and you will be fine." I didn't know what to expect once the doors were open. The pilot left, going back to the cockpit and the rest of us unbuckled from our seats and stood in front of the door. Crane and one guard were in front of us and the rest were behind us.

"Five seconds."

Everyone got ready to make a mad dash. It was comical since everyone had their own position to just rush out.

"Four."

I prayed that the elevator did in fact worked.

"Three."

Crane was shifting from one foot to the other in anticipation. Another bit of him that clung on.

'Two."

"Jesus." Crane muttered. "I hope they have a bathroom right by the entrance when we get down there." That got my hopes up, maybe there was a way to save him. Another thing to put on my list.

"One."

"Move fast, don't stop." A guard behind me said.

The doors opened and we rushed out.