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Ahh... This feels so fucking amazing... Kissing my ex never felt this good... I break the kiss and look into the eyes of the young man in front of me. His eyes are very similar to mine... but I guess that's what makes me so attracted to him. "I love you, Connor," I whisper. The red fox smiles and opens his mouth, but... his voice doesn't come out... Instead, I hear much deeper and horrifying voice as his smile turns into a frown...

"This is wrong, and you know it. Just get over it, Andrew." Everything in the room I'm in fades into darkness... but that voice is still there... That voice grates on my fucking nerves... It's pretty damn creepy... "Connor would never love you like that. Just give up and get over your feelings, because you know he would hate you if you told him." The floor beneath me starts opening up, and I feel a bunch of heat coming from it, as well as lots of yellow and orange light. I look down... and there's a bunch of fire and lava...

"Shit!" I yell as I try to run, but I bump into some sort of wall. "Fuck!" The edge of the floor is fast approaching, and I can't do anything but go over the edge and hang off of it as it stops moving.

The voice speaks again... "Tsk, tsk, tsk... If you keep thinking like this, you'll go to hell. That's surely where God will send you."

I growl and shout, "God doesn't fucking exist!" I'm so fucking scared right now... I don't know what's going on... but damn, I'm fucking terrified... "Hell doesn't, either! Now let me the fuck back up!"

Shit! I'm slipping! I try to dig my claws into the metal floor, but they do nothing to stop my fingers from losing their grip. "Dammit! Rrgh!" Dammit, dammit, dammit! Eventually... both of my paws slip right off, and I scream as I fall toward the lava.

"He's your brother. He will never love you the way you love him. Ever."

"FUCK!" I look around... I'm... I'm not in that place anymore... I'm back in my room... Whew... It was just a dream... Thank fucking god... Ugh... I can't stop shaking... and my breathing is so heavy right now... Goddamn... I'm sweating, too... I reach up and pull at my hair... That... was fucking scary... I'm not one to be scared easily... but damn...

Wait, what's that noise?! I shout and jump before I realize... it's just a knock on my door... "Y-yeah...?"

The door opens a little, and the face of a red fox peeks through. "Andy, are you okay?" It's just Connor... Thank god... Well, it's kinda good, kinda not... It lets me know that really was just a dream... but it's hard for me to be around him again... Especially when I keep having those fucking dreams...

"Y-yeah, I'm f-f-fine..." I shakily reach my paw up and knead my forehead. "I-it was just a n-n-nightmare..."

My brother frowns and replies, "But brother, you're shaking and stuttering!" He opens the door and walks in and over to my bed, sitting next to me before hugging me. "That nightmare must've been pretty scary. " He holds my face to his chest, stroking the back of my head... It feels so nice... It always does when he holds me close...

"Y-yeah, it was really fucking scary... but you're here for me... so I'm okay now..." He's the only one I'd ever show this much weakness to... I wouldn't admit I'm scared to anyone else but him... and maybe my best friend... I just... I hate acting like this... It makes me feel weak... Usually, I'm not a scaredy-cat... but... I can't help it right now, and I don't fucking know why...

"Well, that's good. I hate it when you're not okay. You're my brother. I care about you. And I love you." He kisses the top of my head, and I blush lightly.

"Yeah, I know... I love you, too, Connor..." God, I wish I didn't have these fucking feelings for him... Makes things so damn hard when I'm around him... I wish I could just love him as a brother...

"Hey, do you want me to sleep next to you tonight? You seemed to sleep pretty well last time I did." My cheeks immediately turn red, and my eyes widen. I mean... it is nice sleeping next to him... but with these feelings... it's... it's kinda awkward... I mean... who wouldn't feel awkward sleeping next to the person they're in love with... especially when all you both sleep in are your boxers...

"You don't really want to..." I reply. I know I risk just having another nightmare without him here, but it's better than risking doing something dumb while he's here. I don't want to deal with what would happen if I let him sleep next to me...

"Andy, don't be stupid. Of course I wanna sleep with you." He stops himself from speaking as he thinks for a second. "Okay, that didn't come out right. I don't mean that I wanna yiff you... I just wanna_sleep_with you... I mean, I wanna... Ugh, you know what I mean."

I chuckle a little and smile. At least he's made me do that. He may not be good with words sometimes, but that's okay. "Yeah, I know what you mean..." He's gonna be obstinate about this... It's not like I could convince him otherwise... "All right... Go ahead..." He smiles wide at my response.

"Yes!" he exclaims. "Just lemme go grab Sonikku, okay?" With that, he runs off to his room. He has a Sonic the Hedgehog plush that he's been glued to since I can remember. Until he was about twelve, he wouldn't go anywhere without it. He used to have to put it in his backpack every day. Now, he just holds it while he sleeps, but he says he has trouble sleeping without it. It's okay with me, though. It's not like I'd ever make fun of him for it. Not like a bunch of people in elementary and middle school did.

He comes back in, holding the plushie close to his chest. "Back." He walks over to my bed, and I scoot over to make room for him before he climbs in and lies next to me. As he smiles, I look at the Sonic plush. It's worn and tattered, sewn up in several places by me. Yeah, I know how to sew. So what? Big fucking deal. Anyway, there are several mud stains, and there's barely any cobalt still visible on the doll's surface, but my brother still loves that thing. It's amazing how big of a deal a plush can be, but if it keeps him happy, then it's worth it.

What, you wanna know what happened to make the doll look like that? Well, long story short, our parents are fucking bitches, and they kicked us out of the house when we were ten because I was gay. We had to live on the streets till we were twelve. Until then, nobody fucking helped us. A nice couple we saw once rented out an apartment for us. We still don't know why they did that, but it's helped us survive. Now, we're living on our own, and thank god we are. No orphanages. No parents. Just us.

But anyway, I digress. "I hope you can sleep better now." He reaches down and grabs one of my paws before closing his eyes. "Good night, bro. I love you."

"Good night." And within only a minute, he's asleep. He's always been fast to fall asleep when he has that plush with him. Heh... He's really cute when he's sleeping. Luckily, while he's not the heaviest sleeper, he's not the lightest, either. Meaning that there are chances for intimacy with him. But if I do something stupid, then I risk waking him up. I haven't done something stupid yet whenever he sleeps near me... but I'm always so fucking worried about it...

I reach up and caress the side of his muzzle, feeling his soft fur under my pawpads. God, I wish I could touch him like this when he's awake... I move my paw down a little and feel his chest... He doesn't have much muscle... but that's fine with me. He's still beautiful no matter what. He'd be beautiful whether he was overweight, underweight, short, tall, or anything else.

I love him so much... but I can never tell him that... Ever... I move my paw away and close my eyes, soon falling asleep...

---

Mmm... Man, I'm warm... It feels nice... Really nice... I'm usually never this warm when I wake up... Why... why am I warm...? I open my eyes... Oh, yeah... Connor's sleeping here... I forgot... but... he's really close... Like, inches away...

Wait... Shit... My arms are around him! Fucking shit! I can't believe this! I put my arms around him while he was fucking sleeping! God, I'm such an idiot! I blush hard and slowly and carefully move my arms away from my brother... and he doesn't wake up... Thank god... Holy fucking shit, I can't believe I just fucking did that...

God, my face is burning up right now... Dammit... I roll over and look at the alarm clock... 9:07... Connor's not gonna be asleep much longer... I should get out of bed before I do something else stupid... I quietly slide out of bed and walk out of my room and down the hall to the bathroom.

I close the door and turn the lights on, looking at my face in the mirror above the sink. My purple-tipped brown hair is a fucking mess. And no, the purple is not natural. I dye the tips of my hair purple because I think it looks cool. If you don't like it, then you can fuck off. I look closer... and I can see some bright red skin on my cheeks showing through my white fur. Goddammit, I'm still blushing!

I turn the faucet on and run some cold water before splashing some on my face. It wakes me up and cools down my face a little bit. "Dammit..." I whisper. "Why do I get like this around him...? He's my brother..." I sigh and make the water warmer before cupping my paws and pouring it over my hair. I grab the hairbrush and brush my hair down until it looks presentable, and then I turn the water off and dry my hair off.

I look at myself in the mirror one more time... and the more I look at myself... the more I start to see Connor in the mirror, too... Damn... I shouldn't be in love with him... and even though I am... I know I should just ignore these feelings... It's wrong... There's nothing wrong with being gay... Nothing at all... but Connor's not gay... and he's my goddamn fucking brother...

Connor's still there in the mirror... Ugh... No, he's fucking not... I tightly close my eyes and hit my forehead with my fist a couple times. "Snap out of it, Andy..." I slowly open my eyes, and I'm in the mirror again... I sigh and open the bathroom door before walking back over to my room. When I get in there, I see Connor stretching... and there's something sticking up in his boxers that I don't think the notices yet...

"Morning, bro," he groggily says as he smiles softly at me. "How'd ya sleep? Hopefully a bit better?"

I nod and blush a little as I try not to stare at his crotch. "Yeah, I did... but Con, there's something you might want to take care of. Just... look down."

He tilts his head before doing as I say... and I can almost immediately see the red on his face. "I-I see that... I-I-I'll be back..." He gets up and quickly runs over to his room before shutting his door.

I chuckle a little. He's so cute... and now I'm starting to get a boner, too, thinking about him with one... Damn... And it probably won't go away, either... I sigh and lie down on my bed before pulling down my boxers, making my red penis bounce out of the patterned underwear.

I reach down and squeeze the inflated knot at the base of my shaft... I moan softly as I do... It feels good... I start stroking up and down, my pawpads providing pleasure as they run across the sensitive skin of the organ. As I do... images of Connor start to pop into my head... Thoughts of him naked... Of him pawing off... Of him playing with himself...

I know I would never be able to see him do these things...and I know I shouldn't think like this... but fuck... It's turning me on so much... I start to stoke a little faster, letting the pleasure rush through me... "Fuck..." I mutter. It always feels good when I paw off... Especially when I think about Connor... I wish I didn't think like this... but what the hell...?

Before long, I hear a moan coming from Connor's room, and I blush hard... but it turns me on even more... Goddamn, why does he turn me on so much...? "Connor... I love you... I love you so much..." I start to fantasize that I'm yiffing him... God... I want to do that so bad... I want to bury my penis into his tailhole... That would be so nice... but I can't... I'll never be able to...

But fantasies are still nice... I start to paw off even faster... I'm getting closer... It feels good... I moan quietly and keep stroking... Fuck... I... I'm about to cum... Oh...

I moan a bit louder as I cum onto my stomach... Man, that feels fucking good... Ahh... Man, I wish I could actually yiff him... But I can't... and he'll never love me like I love him...

I start to drag my finger through my cum and start eating it... Salty today... Tastes good. I wish I knew what Connor's tasted like... but again, I'll never know...

I soon finish cleaning up, and then I get up and slide my boxers all the way off before tossing them in my hamper and going over to my dresser. I pull out a clean pair and pull them on, afterward going through the dresser and grabbing a t-shirt and shorts, putting them on as well.

I look down at the shirt I put on. It's one of my favorites. A rainbow shirt with two male symbols and a plus sign in between them on the front of it. I love gay pride stuff. I'm very proud of being gay. If anything, my parents disowning me and Connor made me proud of it. It was a weapon to kind of use against them. To let them know, even though they didn't have any contact with us, that I was not giving up. That the thing that made them disown me has become a source of pride for me... and having Connor with me helps a ton.

But... I guess that's why I'm so against being in love with Connor... He's really what keeps me going. Without him, I wouldn't be this proud. It's all because of him that I'm still here and didn't kill myself a couple years ago. And I feel like, if I told him how I really feel about him... he'd hate me. And I can't have him hate me. It would take away my motivation to do anything. To keep my job. To keep doing well in school. To keep living.

Maybe, if I don't tell him, my feelings will just go away. If I ignore them, they'll just disappear after a while, right...? That's what I thought a year ago when my feelings for him started to form, but they haven't gone away, and it's been driving me insane with how much they've been occupying my thoughts lately. I can barely go an hour without thinking about him. Sometimes, not even that.

So I've been debating on whether I should just try and let the feelings pass again or just tell him. Each day, I get closer and closer to telling him, but I can never bring myself to. I don't have the balls to just tell him straight up. I don't have the fucking balls to tell my own brother how I actually feel about him. That's kinda pathetic. I'm just fine with being gay, but being in love with my brother is a whole different story.

But... today, with having to spend a whole day with him... I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to keep my trap shut.

I see him walk out of his room and stretch, dressed in a t-shirt and jean shorts, just like I am, except he's wearing a "Nerds Rock!" t-shirt instead. He's also wearing his glasses... and those always make him look adorable. "You ready to go, Andy? We still need to get breakfast."

I snap out of my daze and respond, "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go!" Man, I hope this day goes all right...