Easter Morning
#4 of Diary of a Polar Bear
A powerful rumbling in my stomach woke me well before dawn.
"Fuck," I thought. "What day is it?"
I rubbed my eyes and saw my room had redecorated itself for a major holiday--a profusion of muted pastel colors.
"Ah hell," I thought, feeling my stomach's distress escalating quickly. "I'd better get outside."
I got out of the house before it was too late, making my way to the far corner of the yard. It was nominally a compost pile but in practice was a place I could unload when I felt like I might break a toilet otherwise.
Now, they say rats have the instinct to escape a sinking ship.
Mockridge was a mouse, not a rat.
My poor boyfriend had taken to my bowels like a fish to water, and spent most of his free time there. I couldn't feel very well whether he was inside me or not, but he did spend most nights in me and I worried he was about to get a rude awakening.
My belly let out a tremendous growl, and I dropped down on all fours--even if my bad knees could hold my weight squatting, I could tell I wouldn't have enough room under me in that position to let it all out.
I bore down, feeling my massive tailhole open wide. The opening was a foot and a half across even without any stretching, but the load passing through me was still big enough to hurt--actually I could feel it blocking my exit, so I pushed harder, straining to get the burden out of me so my stomach could go back to normal.
My asshole gaped wide as I pushed out, and suddenly with a low loud boom a massive projectile shot out of my ass and demolished the neighbor's fence.
A shout of "what the hell?" came from the house next door, followed by the slamming of doors as its occupant ran out to survey the damage.
What a time to be caught with my pants down, I thought, never mind that that pantslessness was my usual state of affairs. "I'll pay to have it repaired, I'm sorry," I called out as he approached, taking the offensive with my defense before he could sound off.
I'd seen the gorilla from time to time; I knew the name on his mailbox said 'Tantivy', though we hadn't met yet. Like most folks he was shorter than me, but still massive and imposing--a mountain of shaggy blue-black fur and muscle and hefty paunch in boxers loose enough to show no bulge. "Actually I'll pay double the repair cost," I added, "for your trouble."
Tantivy's expression was hard to read in the morning dimness, but he was giving me a look that still felt dangerous. "And of course you'll be hauling this away," he added, waving a hand to the far end of his yard where a massive slightly-soiled-but-otherwise-brightly-painted Easter egg had crashed into a tree. There was no anger in his voice, but there was firm sternness behind it.
"Right," I said, trying to will the embarrassment away from my cheeks. "Of course."
"And surrender the cannon you shot it with, so I don't have to call the cops."
"Um." I rubbed my face. "That's going to be... a bit difficult..."
The ape scowled. "Just 'cause I ain't throwin' a fit doesn't mean I'm jokin' around with ya, marshmallow."
"I'm Pollux." I raised my paws. "And I don't have a cannon. I mean, look."
He stepped over the remains of the fence carefully, and looked around the yard.
I didn't exactly have a lot of landscaping to explore: a shed against the back corner, a tree or two, the patio furniture, the compost pile...
Tantivy came back after he'd walked the perimeter and failed to find anything capable of firing projectiles. "All right, how'd you do it?"
"I shot it out of my ass."
He looked back at the egg and gave me an incredulous frown--the gorilla's face could be impressively expressive--and poked my stomach. "You're pretty big, but you ain't that big."
My stomach started to grumble again. "I may have to do it again in a minute. Um. I'm going to run down to the basement to try and avoid any more property damage. You can come if you want."
I scooted off without waiting for him, waddling down the back stairs about as quickly as you'd expect a super-chubby polar bear with a case of the Easter eggs to manage.
I was already on all fours, my butt aimed at the far wall and starting to strain when I saw the gorilla's hand-like feet hesitating at the top of the stairs.
"Come on, come on," I grunted. He descended into view just as I felt my hole opening up, the egg slowly starting to crown.
"Holy fuck," Tantivy said, wisely staying out of the line of fire as he came around to look at my rump. "Your hole is huge."
Boom again as my ass fired its load, immediately followed by the deep and resonant crack of the apparently-very-solid egg hitting the basement wall and the rather softer sound of a fat polar bear's legs giving out under him.
Tantivy helped me up. "Well, you weren't kidding. That's a weapon of ass destruction right there. You all right?"
My hole was burning from the strain. "Not if this is going to happen for the rest of the day."
"The rest of the day?" he said. "This has happened to you before?"
"Not like this," I said, "but it'll leave when the holiday does. That's how it works around me."
"Runaway magic, eh? I think I can help you with that."
"And how would you plan on doing that?"
"Little magic of my own. You got anyplace we can get comfortable?"
"What kind of comfortable do you need?"
The gorilla leaned in close to me, putting one leathery hand on my lower back. "You know. ...comfortable."
"Um," I said. The burly ape's advance was not at all unwelcome, though with my ass in the state it was in, I wasn't sure I would perform well in a dot-dot-dot-comfortable situation.
"Sorry," he said, misreading my hesitation. "Your, ah, endowments distracted me and I'm sure I crossed the line." He headed towards the stairs.
I reached out a paw to stop him. "No, it's all right. I was just surprised. Forgive me if I'm foolish for misunderstanding, but you were offering intimacy that would help with my ass-blaster problem?" He nodded. "How does it work?"
"Lead the way and I'll show you."
I walked Tantivy back to the spare bedroom. For some reason, even after letting him see me fire an egg out of my ass, I still felt somewhat shy about showing him the explosion of pale pink and green and yellow that were my own bedroom's Easter guise.
The gorilla took up a seat on the bed, leaning against the headboard and beckoning me up to follow him. The bed creaked a little under our combined weight, but it'd held up under worse stress.
I felt the rumblings in my stomach begin again--the feeling of another egg forming inside me.
Tantivy smiled down at me. "Want to help me out of these shorts?"
I lowered my ears back. "I don't mean to be rude, but--" A split second after starting that sentence, I realized that pragmatically there's never a way to continue it that isn't rude.
"Starting again already," he said, apparently seeing the distress on my face. He ran his hand down the side of my beard. "It's okay."
He shucked off his pants and tossed them to the side of the bed. "It's usually more fun to let a guy discover it for himself, but desperate times..."
The gorilla's crotch was as fluffy and featureless as a stuffed animal's.
He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down till I was between his thighs, my nose against his crotchpad. As I breathed in his deep musky scent, I could feel the disquiet in my stomach lessen.
"Ah, man," I said. On instinct I took his smooth crotch into my muzzle and started sucking and nibbling at the expanse of fur. The pain in my belly diminished, though my ass was still just as sore.
He looked down at me, rubbing my headfur behind the ears. "That helping, marshmallow?"
"Pollux," I insisted, mouth half full. "And yeah."
I took hold of the gorilla's hips and pressed him closer against me, resting his legs on my back as I worked my tongue over the softness between them. Tantivy growled out his appreciation as though his groin were fully the erogenous zone it appeared not to be.
It was a few minutes of enjoying his body before I felt the pain in mine had gone altogether. I extricated myself from that roll of softness below the curve of his belly, breathing heavily.
"It should last a few hours," Tantivy said. "I can come back and help you out again after lunch, and you're welcome to dinner at my place later."
I took the gorilla's hand as he moved to leave. "Well hold up there, big fellah," I said. "I want to get to know you a little better now. Like--"
"When I was thirteen," he said, preempting my question. "I woke up and it was gone."
"You didn't freak out?"
He sat back down on the bed beside me. "I felt like I didn't have to. So I didn't. That was how I knew I'd picked up my knack."
"Which I'm gathering is broader than keeping eggs from shooting out a guy's ass while he munches your crotch."
"That part wasn't actually necessary," he said, laughing. "I thought you were cute. And yes, a lot broader than that."
He put a hand on my forehead.
Stress drained out of me, questions faded, and the pain in my ass and the ever-present ache in my knees disappeared.
My mind felt like a clear blue sky.
Tantivy chuckled a little and moved down to my lower half, rubbing his hands down my thighs as he pressed his face against my crotch.
"I'm going to guess what your next question was going to be. You were probably going to ask me... what it feels like."
The gorilla extended his tongue and gave my crotch a long, slow lick that encountered no obstruction.
The sensation was electricity shot through with fear. Had he...?
He felt me tense up and stroked my thighs firmly, sending the river of calm flowing through me again. "Like I said, it'll only last a few hours. No fear."
His tongue went to work on me again, followed by gentle nibblings, and I moaned out from the bowels of my lungs with the pleasure emanating from my blanked crotch.
Tantivy's hands found their way under my rump, augmenting the sensation by stroking the massive ring of flesh that was my tailhole as he sucked on my featureless crotch with surprising eagerness.
The first orgasm took me by surprise--the sensation of climax without release being new to me--but that was nothing compared to the steady succession of them that followed shortly after. The gorilla's mouth worked me over like a musician at play, every note drawn out with skill and fluttering through my whole body.
I have no idea how long it went on, but I know I was still shaking several minutes after Tantivy had left.
I woke up in full sunlight to Mockridge's weight on my chest.
"What are you doing sleeping in the spare room?"
"I met our other neighbor," I said. "He helped me out with a problem I was having."
"Did that involve trapping your boyfriend in an Easter egg and leaving him in his yard?"
"I didn't--" I started. The mouse's words were angry, but there was laughter in those little eyes. "Probably. Wasn't intentional. You all right?"
"I'd be more worried about you. Did you know your dick is missing? I looked everywhere."
"C'mon," I said, picking him up off my chest and setting him on the headboard. "We'll talk about it over lunch. After a workout like I just had, I'm famished."