FSE

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I don't know what took me so long to get this out, but here you go. Sorry for the wait, everyone.

Chapter 5: Feelings?

"Okay children, who can remember our discussion of the life cycle last week?" Our Espeon teacher asked.

Everyone raised their paws into the air. "Very good! Now, who would like to explain to me how it works?" The paws fell, and I couldn't help but smile at everyone's reluctance to speak for the teacher.

The Espeon tutted, shaking her head as she surveyed my classmates with an almost disappointed look. "Well... it seems I will have to choose now, doesn't it? Very well." She appeared to scan through the crowd, though, it was obvious that she had already chosen her victim. "Would Jason like to do the honors?"

Sitting beside me, Jace groaned. "Mom, I've told you a thousand times not to call me that."

"Hush now," She scolded him in a sharp tone, giving a quick flit of her tail. "Here in class, I am your teacher. You may call me 'Mother' anywhere else but here. Do you understand?"

Jace sighed and replied in a defeated tone, "Yes, Miss Vester." He stood up weakly and launched into an explanation on how one day we would all die. That we are born to live and how we live to eventually perish. Going on about after we die, the earth uses us as nutrition, or other organisms could find it in us and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah. He tried to include as much detail as possible, because if he didn't, then his mom/teacher would be on his ass for the rest of the day.

After he finished, Jace sat down with a huff: having been embarrassed by his mother in front of the whole class. I silently chuckled to myself, wishing I still had Mom around to embarrass me.

Yes, Jace's mother is a teacher. She's assigned to teach us all about life and how it works. Mystery of evolution, life lessons, and all that crap. I remember the first class I had with her. She gave us an assignment: saying that we had to pick a flower and bring it back the next week. I had contemplated the idea of picking one of the many white-yellow daisies that grew in the field, but decided against it after seeing that many of the other students decided to do just that and get it over with. I wanted to be different. I wanted my flower to be special.

I remember trekking through the forest the whole day just to find my special flower. It wasn't until nightfall that I found what I was looking for.

I was exhausted and walked with my eyes shut most of the time. Back then, I wasn't accustomed to staying up late, so I was in danger of falling asleep at any moment. I'm not really sure how long I'd been walking, but eventually I opened my eyes by chance to see a flower with a silver hue blooming in a beam of moonlight.

I didn't have the energy to notice how beautiful it looked. Didn't notice the way the petals curled at the base. Didn't see how much it resembled a star in the night sky. I knew it was exotic, and that was all I needed to know.

I bit off the flower by the stem and stumbled my way back home.

Upon my arrival, Kris had rushed over and questioned where I had been all night. She didn't bother to take notice of the beautiful flower clamped between my jaws. I didn't focus on anything other than a soft, inviting bed waiting for me when I stepped foot inside. I fell asleep that night with a silver star of the night sky lying beside my head.

A week had passed, then. I sat in Miss Vester's class. The flower in front of me was a sick shade of brown, shriveled, and looked nothing like the beauty it was when I picked it. I had glanced around and saw that the other Eevee had bright, white pristine daisies laying in front of their paws. I realized then that they had picked the flowers just this morning before class started if only to bring up the appearance that they had properly cared for their little bits of fauna.

I looked down at my moon flower, as I had come to know it, and thought that I should have done the same. It had started wilting a couple of days after I brought it home and, not long after, ended up being the shriveled nothing that lay before me now despite my attempts to keep it alive. It had died on me, and... that hurt more than you could have possibly known.

I had wanted to cry. I hated the stupid teacher that gave us this stupid assignment that made me pick this stupid flower that couldn't stay beautiful. I hated myself for wanting to cry. I thought it made me weak. Then I hated myself for being weak. I hated myself for not saving mom and dad and it was all my fault because I was weak and stupid and... well... you see where this ends up going.

Yes. I had wanted to cry, but I didn't shed a single tear that day. I tried to be strong. Heh... but hell, I'll admit. Being strong hurts.

Miss Vester had been walking around and inspecting the flowers that each student had brought in. I was too busy simmering with hatred for myself to hear what she was saying to each individual student. In time, she came up to me and looked at the flower I had brought to class. With a gasp, she addressed me almost cautiously. "Ren, do you know what this is?"

I nodded and spoke in a harsh whisper, examining the item before my paws. "It's a flower. Just like you wanted."

She shook her head, and I could almost hear the smile in her voice. "No, it's not just any flower. This is a Luna Crest. They are amongst the rarest of flowers in existence, and they only ever show up during a blue moon. Admittedly, I was off searching for one myself a few nights ago..." She seemed to notice how depressed I looked and spoke to me gently, trying a new angle to get me to open up, I guess. "How did you come across it?"

I kept my head low, too defeated to even bothering looking into her eyes. There was a pout to how I said my words, a little bothered by how she pushed me to speak. "I don't know. I was just walking. It was night and I was so tired. I didn't know where I was, let alone what the moon looked like. I saw the flower and thought it was pretty. I picked it because I wanted to make an impression. I wanted to be different."

"Well," she laughed, "This is certainly impressive." Pushing on this topic, she leaned closer to me with a light smile tracing her lips. "Now, there's a reason I assigned this lesson to you all. It was to teach, to those who had done it right, that everything lives and dies. The flower didn't look like this when you picked it then, did it?" She gestured towards the pathetic thing by my paws.

I shook my head slowly.

"Good. It was living then, you see? Now, after you picked it the flower started to shrivel up over the week, am I right?"

I nodded, less slowly this time, bringing about the courage to look up into her gentle eyes with only hurt resonating from mine.

She smiled and continued in a soft voice that helped fill the cracks in my heart. "The moment you plucked it out of the ground, it started to die. Everything lives and eventually dies. Now, I'm not saying that they deserve it. And I'm not saying you should go kill yourself. I'm saying that we're all going to get there one day. Someone we love may have passed, or a close friend may no longer be here with us, but that doesn't mean that they are gone forever. We still have memories." She taps her temple with a paw, the smile not leaving her face. "We can look back at those good days and smile. Sure it might hurt and we'll miss them, but we still have to move on with our lives and hope for the best."

She gave me a moment to take in everything she said. I looked at the Luna Crest and almost smiled. Almost. There was still something... missing.

She tilted her head, eyeing me with an almost admiration as she whispered, curiosity and caring intentions clear. "Tell me, Ren. Was it beautiful?"

I smiled to myself, then. "Yes, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It looked so exotic and it shone like a star... the petals... they were soft. At times, I could swear it almost glowed in the dark. It... it was my very own star in the sky."

She moved back and nodded, proceeding to ask one last question. "Now, what are you going to do about the flower now that it's dead?"

It took me a while to answer. I looked at the Luna Crest and remembered it's silvery glow. I remembered the beam of moonlight it grew in. I remembered how I wanted to cry over it just moments ago. I had wanted to see it's beauty again, but it only existed in my memory. And it would stay there for as long as I wanted to... or... needed it to.

The answer came to me almost instantly. I had looked back up at my teacher with a question in my eyes and on my lips. "I'm... going to remember it?"

She had smiled and moved on to the next child with a shriveled up flower.

To this day, I think that things are going to be okay in the end. Tomorrow is when the problems start. The day after, I might fix them. A week later, I might be happy. But I'm not there yet.

Right now, I can just sit here and laugh as I remember how Miss Vester's class has kept me on my toes during my stay here. I might share some of those stories later. Now's not the time. Arceus only knows why we had to have her class as our very last one.

"What you laughing at?" Jace snapped at me.

"Nothing that concerns you," I replied with a smile. He just grunted and turned his attention back to his mother.

I managed to tune back into the lesson mid-sentence. "-assign you something different knowing this is your last class session ever. Are you all paying attention?"

"Yes, Miss Vester," The entire class resounded, a few only actually putting any life into their words. "Good. Now, for your final assignment: find someone you care for. It could be anyone. A parent, a brother, a sister, or a really close friend. Now, take this certain someone and share something special with them. A rock. Some trees. A delicious dinner under the stars. As long it's special to you, then it doesn't matter. If you choose to share with someone in this class, then both of you have to share something special with the other. You may come out of it with something to think about, or you may walk away from it as if nothing ever happened. Either way, it provides some life experience- which is something you little ones need."

She gasped then, casting a glance up at the sun that was still partway through the sky. "Oh dear, it seems that I've gone on for too long. Class is dismissed, and I shall leave you to your own devices." She walked off into the forest towards the clearing that served as her home, throwing her daughter a wink as she passed by.

Ruby, in turn, sighed and shook her head slowly. I didn't have much time to make any sense of the exchange before Cynthia walked over to me with the twins in tow. "Hey there, Ren," she purred.

"Um, hey- hi, Cynthia," I replied, a little uneasily.

She looked at me with half-lidded eyes and a dreamy smile. "So... Ren." The wispy haze in her voice frightened me. "I was thinking maybe, that you and I could partner up for this assignment. We could go somewhere quiet and... oh, I don't know... I could show you something... special _of mine. Something that you won't forget for a long while..." She then leaned in and whispered to me, "Oh, and don't worry about your special little thing. I'm sure it'll... _pop up... soon enough."

Really, I couldn't do much anything but blush and stammer at that point. Cynthia probably hadn't realized the innuendo hidden in her words. Or... maybe she did, and actually implied what it hinted at. Quickly looking for a way out of this, my eyes landed on Ruby and a response came to my mind almost instantly. "Oh... eheh... t-that sounds nice and all, Cynthia, but... I kind of have plans."

She followed my gaze and laughed, a cruel, bitter sound. "You're not actually thinking about going out with that loser, are you?" She looked back to me, a wispy smile playing on her lips. She leaned in so that her nose pushed against mine, lips pursed enticingly. "Come on, big boy, get with a real girl for a change."

Her words only irritated me, and a line creased my brow as I looked on at her in disgust. I took a step back to put some distance between us. "Ruby is a real girl," I defended my friend. "You're nothing but a bully who has absolutely no standards and doesn't really care for anyone but herself."

She looked almost hurt, but I knew it was just a facade to try and get to me. "Ren... y-you don't mean that!"

As if to play into her trap, my eyes softened to an almost apologetic tone. "I'm sorry, but I do. I really don't enjoy those who think they can just push others around, or talk about them behind their back and get away with it. You may be beautiful, sure, but you are by no means nice."

I looked behind her at the twins standing a ways off, eyes glued onto the ground. Knowing Cynthia, she probably drilled it into them that I was hers and they had no right to even think about me. Just then, a thought came to mind.

"In fact, those two over there at least tried to stop you from bossing Ruby around on several occasions." The girls' ears perked up as they looked over to me when I mentioned them. Twin smiles spread along their muzzles as they began to wag their tails. "It lets me know they have kind hearts," I continued, unfazed by the attention they were giving me. "And I really wouldn't mind if they accompanied me tonight, if anything."

The three of them gasped in total shock and surprise, and then Ginger - or was it Cream? - rushed over to stand in front of me, her tail wagging happily as she beamed a smile. "Y-you really mean it?"

"Yeah, I do," I smiled back, a tinge of amusement playing in my eyes. With that kind of enthusiasm, it had to be Ginger. Cream always was the shyer of the two.

Cynthia growled and barked at them, venom dripping clear in her voice. "What did I say?"

The twins stepped back obediently and returned to staring at their paws somberly. Yeah, figures. I shook my head and spoke up, directing my question at the girls as they moved back. "Come on, girls. It's either me, or her," I said, motioning to both myself and the she-devil in kind.

The two exchanged worried glances before tentatively stepping over to sit by either of my flanks, eyes averted so they didn't have to look at the fuming Cynthia before them.

"You'll regret crossing me," She growled menacingly at them, storming away, looking a bit angry. Or maybe she was really angry? Intenesly furious? I honestly couldn't have cared less.

"Don't worry about her. She'll get over it, I'm sure," I said to the girls by my side.

"A-are you sure... s-she... she seemed pretty mad..." Judging by the tone and stuttering, I could distinguish it was the shyer of the sisters and responded-

"Yes, I'm sure. No need to be scared, Cream. Promise."

"Before we go on, tell me," Ginger then spoke up, moving in front of me to stare me down. "Did you ask us out because you like us, or did you just do it to get on Cynthia's bad side?" Oh my, such forwardness! And what's this about asking anybody out? This is a simple class assignment. Geez.

"Well... I do believe that you girls are good-natured," I replied, rubbing a paw at the back of my head with a weak smile. "And I like you for not acting like Cynthia. I like you for coming to Ruby's defense most times when Cynthia would pick on her. And I like you for not holding any animosity towards Ruby." At this, my smile grew genuine and I curled my tail around my paws. "Honestly, though, I just did it to piss of Cynthia. However, that won't stop me from showing you girls the night of your lives."

Ah... bad choice of words. Crap. Upon hearing this, the twins' eyes widened and they looked at each other in a sort of awe-struck manner, twin gasps sounding as they realized the current situation they were in. They had a "date" with me, the most sought after male around. Though the thought in itself made me cringe, I couldn't help but accept it as truth. The squeals they produced as the two cuddled closed and chattered about it could have shattered my ear drums.

"Okay, okay," I cut them off, laughing a bit at their antics. "I got something to take care of. You girls coming?"

At the sight of me, they sort of... froze. I guess the whole "dating me" thing still kind of got to them. The girls then nodded shyly out of nowhere, and I gave a small smile before turning my head and scanning around for a certain Eevee I knew.

I spotted her not so far away chatting with Celia and decided to head over, trying to ignore some of the cold looks most of the guys were giving me and doing my best to not feel bad for a good majority of the females sulking around after seeing that I was "taken".

I arrived mid-conversation just behind Ruby, who seemed to be explaining something to my adopted sister. I couldn't help but feel as if whatever they were talking about was somehow tied in with me.

"-what my mom intended to happen," Ruby finished, not noticing my presence as I approached.

Celia gave a quick glance over Ruby's shoulder at me before carrying on as if I weren't there. "Wow, Ruby. I had no idea your mom was so... devious."

"Yeah, I know," Ruby sighed, shaking her head a little at the comment. "I swear, she gets on my nerves sometimes."

Giving a small smile, Celia leaned in a bit closer to her friend and asked, "So, are you gonna do it?"

"Do... what?" Ruby asked curiously. Then she suddenly jumped a little, and I could see the slight bristling of her fur even at this distance. "H-hey! Why would you want to know anyways?" She half-shouted at Celia, a defensive tone taking over her voice.

Celia's smile grew wider as she nodded at me over her friend's shoulder, tail swishing in a mischievous manner. "Because now's your chance."

"Huh...?"

Ah. Cover blown. "Hey, Ruby," I chimed, making my presence known to the Eevee before me.

"Oh my gosh!" She whipped around quickly, lashing Celia in the face with her tail as she looked at me with hints of surprise and shock in her eyes. "Ren? H-how long have you been standing there?"

I considered her actions and tone of voice to be completely normal given the fact that I approached her from behind, leaving only Celia to know I was coming. Heck, I'd probably have the same reaction myself. "I just got here, actually," I replied, smiling warmly at her. "Something about your Ma being devious. I don't know, she seems pretty nice to me."

Ruby let out a breath I wasn't aware she was holding. She seemed relieved at that moment. Why? Did something happen? I'll bet it involved me somehow, huh? Whatever it is, I'm probably not going to get any answers out of her. Best to just sit by idly and wait for whatever this is to pass. Though... was that a faint blush I saw on her cheeks just now? Eh... probably just the light.

Celia rubbed at her cheek, wincing against the spot where Ruby's tail had struck her. "Ow... that kinna hurt..."

"Oh, geez!" Ruby whipped around again. Had I not ducked down in time, her tail would have hit me in the face as it had my sister's just now. "I am so sorry Celia!" She cried, the tone of apology heavy in her rich, beautiful voice.

"S'okay," Celia mumbled, rubbing at her cheek for a second or two more before getting up and walking off. "Later, Bro," She called to me, giving a little swish of her tail. "I'm heading back home."

"See ya."

Ruby looked almost panic-stricken as she watched my sister go. "Celia, please don't go! I mean... can't you stay for a little while?"

Celia smiled at her sadly, as if apologizing. "I can't. I'm going to show my mom that I finally finished the paralysis powder that I'd been working on for a while now. That's my special thing for the assignment. So... I'll catch you all around."

"Celia-"

"Good luck, Rubes." She walked off without another word, heading home to show Kris the yellow powder she'd been perfecting over the week. I know this first-hand, because I was an unwilling test subject. Since then, I've learned to not sleep around Celia unless I know for sure she doesn't plan on sprinkling any potentially harming chemicals on me while I'm out cold. It's hard to wring someone's neck when you can't move a muscle.

Ruby huffed and sat down. I'm sure it wasn't just me, but there was a tone of desperation in Ruby's voice just then. Something had to be going on with her, but I couldn't fathom what.

"You... seem to be a little on edge today, Ruby. Is there... something particular on your mind?" I asked, tilting my head a bit curiously at her.

Her ears perked and her eyes widened. She looked at me and it seemed she had forgotten I was standing there for a moment. "O-oh, no, I'm fine. I uh... gotta go. My mom wants, uh, well, she expects... I-I mean... my dad needs... Jace and I have to... ah, but Jace isn't here so... maybe Christian, but... he's with his mom and..."

I smiled at her little display. She looked so cute when she stumbled over her words. But as far as I knew, such a thing had never happened to her. The Ruby I knew never got embarrassed so easily. She was always collected and calm, never spoke out of turn, and held her nerve in even the most critical of situations. This Ruby was... different. Shy, hesitant, confused, and a little tense. For some reason or another, I liked this Ruby better than the other one. She's cuter this way.

And here she is, still tripping over her words and looking adorable as ever. A little tinge of red began to stain her cheeks just underneath the soft fur. "- and it's really important, so... b-but if you have something to tell me then I can stay, but Jace is waiting... I mean my mom is... m-my dad-"

"Ruby."

She stopped speaking and bit her lip as she looked over at me with frightful eyes. "Y-yes?"

I smiled as if to reassure her, giving a small laugh at her antics. "You're a bad liar."

She sighed, ears falling back against her head as she looked up at me almost apologetically, a slight pout in her lip. "I know. A lot of things have been happening lately and it's just..." her voice cut off, and a glare filled her eyes. "What are they doing here?" She asked, gesturing a paw to somewhere just behind me.

I looked over my shoulder at where she was pointing, seeing the twins sitting a ways off together. I had almost forgotten they were there. "Oh... I'm sure you know the twins. Cream and Ginger. Say 'hi', girls," I called out to them.

"Hello," They said in unison, each waving a paw at Ruby and giving a small nod.

"That doesn't answer my question," Ruby hissed, keeping her voice low so only I heard her.

I gave a weak chuckle, averting my gaze a bit to the side. "Ah, that. Well, you see, we kinda... partnered up for the assignment."

"Oh..." I thought I caught a flash of disappointment in Ruby's eyes, but if I did, then it was gone the next moment and I was left wondering whether I imagined it or not.

"Is... something bothering you, Ruby?" I asked, genuine concern creeping into my voice.

"No," She blinked, looking back over at the twins. "I just thought it was against the rules to have more than one partner for the assignment. That's all..."

"Ah..." I nodded, titling my head to the side to play the last few moments of class over in my mind again. "If... I remember correctly, your mom didn't say anything about not having two or more partners, did she?"

"I don't think so," Ruby spoke, a little uncertainly, ears falling flat against her head while her tail curled about her paws in thought.

I gave her a small smile accompanied by the lightest of nods. "Which is why I was wondering if you would like to join us."

"W-what?" Ruby asked, a bit taken off guard. It was probably just me, but I could almost swear I felt the twins tense up behind me at this offer.

"Ah... okay, so I know what you're thinking, but you don't have to share with the twins. Technically, they chose me to be their partner, and I chose you, meaning... I share my special thing with them, them to me, me to you, and you to me. At least... I think that's how it works. But don't worry about it for now. Or... maybe that wasn't what you were thinking? Heh... I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. I just thought you'd say yes, but... I shouldn't assume things and-"

Holy Arceus, I'm rambling.

"I mean, if you don't want to come, it's fine. That's your choice and all. I just thought it would be nice. The place we're going to is- ah, I shouldn't have said it was a place. I'm practically giving it away now! Aw man, it was supposed to be a surprise and now it's ruined and I don't even-"

"Ren."

I stopped, completely embarrassed in myself. Now she had me on the ropes. And to think I was so confident earlier. Arceus, they don't come any stupider than me. "Yes?"

Ruby smiled at me, giving a little laugh of her own. "I was thinking about how nobody's asked me to be their partner yet, and how you being my partner is better than either Jace or my mother. So... yes. I'd like to come with you to your special place."

I sulked, ears splaying back against my head in disappointment. "You weren't supposed to know it was a place until we were half-way there."

Ruby tilted her head curiously, ears perking up in attention while her tail swished outwards with a curious swaying motion. "Why halfway?" She asked.

I rubbed the back of my head, averting my eyes and looking out past the horizon, a bit apologetic and a little... well, ashamed. "Oh, that's ah... not really important. It's... kind of a long walk. A-anyway, uh..." I turned to the twins behind me sitting as patient as ever. "Would you girls mind meeting us back here by sundown?"

Cream blinked. "Sundown? Why do we have to be out so la-"

Abruptly cutting her sister off and pushing her away, Ginger gave a little nervous laugh. "T-that's fine. We need to get back and tell Mom and Dad that we're going to be out tonight. I'm sure they won't mind. Right, Sis?"

Her counterpart blinked, obviously seeming a little confused. "But... they don't usually let us-"

"Right. Sis?" Ginger said again, putting a bit more emphasis on her question as if to get some sort of point across.

Cream's eyes widened a bit, and she gave a quick nod. "A-ah, heh, r-right. Yeah, we wouldn't want them to worry when we don't come home after dark. We should go."

They both walked off, calling out a farewell over their shoulders. The scene left me a bit confused myself, but I'm sure it was nothing of significance.

The moment they were out of earshot, Ruby huffed. "I don't like them."

I smiled and looked at her off to my side. "You don't like them, or you don't like Cynthia?"

She frowned, staring at the twins as they walked off. "Both, I guess."

"You guess?" I chuckled a bit, finding it a little cute how childish she acted.

Ruby growled at me. "Why did you invite them anyway?"

I backed off slightly, a little scared of her sudden change in attitude. Although, I have to admit she does look cute even when her anger is directed at me...

Agh! Stop! Terrible thoughts! Bad, heartbreaking thoughts! She doesn't love you. She doesn't need you. Please, just... stop being an idiot.

"H-hey, no need to get hostile," I defended, trying to suppress that lovey feeling from rising up inside me. "I did it to get on Cynthia's bad side. She came up and tried to work one over on me. If... I remember correctly, she ah... hinted at some... very suggestive things."

Ruby glared at me accusingly, fur bristling. "Things like what?"

Holy Mew, the hostility in her voice really did a number on me. I flinched. "Eheh... you know, w-with your tone of voice, I can't help but feel you're going to eat me..." I chuckled nervously in an attempt to diffuse the tension in the air, but her gaze remained hard.

"Answer the question," She said, simply, nothing about her seeming to calm in the slightest.

Oh, man, it's hard to believe how quickly the tables can turn. I felt the blush rising to my cheeks as the conversation I had with Cynthia flashed back through my mind. "Oh, um... I don't think I should say. But you know me, I managed to resist her attempts at-"

"You managed!?" She cried, insurmountable anger filling her beautiful brown eyes. "How do you 'manage' something like that? Cynthia is the most revolting... AGH!"

I sat back and watched as Ruby went into a hysterical fit, going on about Cynthia being a... well, I shouldn't say. This never happened before. Ruby pacing back and forth. Ruby shouting at me for an unknown number of reasons.

It scared me to see her like this. I was more worried for her sanity than whether or not she would claw my eyes out in her blind rage. Plus, the looks the guys were giving us didn't really help out the situation I was in. Ruby's outburst was starting to draw attention, and it was honestly a little embarrassing under the scrutinizing gaze of our peers.

I tried to coax her out of her rant. "Ruby... Ruby please, calm down. You're making a scene."

Without any success, of course. "Oh, I'm causing a scene? _I'm _causing a scene!? You can say that while walking around and talking to that... that... _hussy? _If you want my honest opinion, then she is nothing but a cold-hearted, cruel, irrepressible bit- eek!"

I stood atop Ruby, my paws placed firmly on her chest, not really pushing down too hard in case I accidentally hurt her.

She looked up at me with wide eyes, surprised that I would just tackle her like that out of nowhere and without warning. She gave me an odd look. I could see traces of fear in her eyes, and... something else. Something different that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Ruby?" I said quietly, staring down into her beautiful shimmering brown eyes. "You're starting to scare me. This isn't you. You're not acting like yourself. I want the real Ruby back... my _Ruby." I blushed then, just realizing what I had said and how it came out. My attempt at recovering was miserable at best. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean _my Ruby, I meant you Ruby a-as in, well... uh... you."

I felt that same maddening silence between us as yesterday when Ruby was on top of me, and I had held her close after tackling her out of the way of the falling rock Pokemon.

Only... the difference this time was that I was on top, and right now, I wanted nothing more at that moment than to lean down and kiss her. Just... yearned to feel our lips touch. It would be like heaven to me... a euphoric bliss that I would never want to end because-

Stop! Stop it before you ruin everything you have with her!

"I'm going to get off now, okay?" I whispered, watching her closely, concern filling my eyes.

She simply nodded, her maw slightly agape in her surprise, lips formed in a little 'o'. She looked so adorable.

I removed my paws from her chest, stepping back as Ruby stood up looking slightly flushed. She blinked, turning her eyes away and off to the side. "I'm sorry..."

"Ruby... what's wrong?"

She kept her eyes where they were, studying a blade of grass as if it could provide a way out of this situation. "Nothing's wrong, Ren. I'm fine..."

"Ruby," I sighed, placing a paw on her shoulder. She tensed up at the point of contact, and I was quick to pull my paw back and pretend that it didn't happen. She eventually loosened up, though, ears splaying back against her head. The sight of her like this broke me. "Don't start, Ruby... I know something's bothering you, but I don't know what. If you would just tell me, I'm sure I can help you out somehow. You're not acting like yourself, and whether or not you know it, it's affecting me, too..."

She just let out a breath in response, tail curling about her paws in what I would assume to be shame. "I'm sorry, Ren..."

"Ruby. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

It took her a while to respond, but when she finally did all she said was, "Tonight. I'll tell you tonight."

I was ready to argue. I would have asked why she had to wait until tonight to tell me. Why not now? Just as I was going to speak, she turned her head back to look at me, and I stopped.

There was a shadow in her eyes. She looked tired. She looked scared. I drew my paw back and gave her a smile: my attempt to lighten the mood. "Okay..."

This prompted a beautiful smile from her as relief flooded her features. "Thanks," She offered in a small voice.

"No problem," I replied, taking the moment to admire the soft brown of her eyes. I managed to break my gaze before a blush would burn at my features. "So, what are we going to do until then?"

The Eevee before me seemed a little confused, as if that were a question she didn't expect to be asked. "I... don't know."

Guess it's up to me to suggest something then? Ah, so be it. "Hmm... well, we could start off with what your special thing is."

She tilted her head, a quizzical expression plastering her features. "What?" Then it dawned on her, and clarity filled her eyes. "Oh... it's the sunset..."

"The sunset?" I asked, offering an amused smile.

I could swear I saw her blush. "Y-yeah... I know it's nothing all that special, but... it does mean a lot to me."

There wasn't anything wrong with the idea, so all things considered it should go just fine. "That's nice. We're going to have to wait a while for that though." Looking up, I noted the sun was just reaching its peak in the sky. "What do you want to do to pass the time?"

Ruby mumbled something under her breath that I couldn't quite hear.

"Come again?"

She raised her voice just a little bit, much to the extent that it sounded out like a tiny squeak. "I said we could... talk."

Talk? I've never really had many open conversations with Ruby. It was mostly just, 'Hey, let's go look at the sunset.' and be done with it. But... talk? What would I even say? Was there something particular she was interested in?

"What... do you want to talk about?" I asked, grasping for straws at the moment.

"Anything," She responded, giving a shrug of her shoulders.

Anything? Anything... anything... something! Come on, Ren, you got a brain. Use it! Uh... let's see... She likes the sunset. Sunset... sun.. sunny... weather! Say something about the weather!

"So... nice weather we're having." Arceus be damned that was stupid. Anything else you could say to make you sound more like an idiot? Go on, let it out! It can't get any worse than this. "The clouds are looking especially... poofy today..."

It got worse. It got so much worse. I'm such a dunce. What even is this? Weather? Clouds? Poofy? I've lost all faith in myself. There's no hope for this conversation. I don't even see how I can bounce back from this.

Thankfully, though I don't see why, Ruby started to laugh. It was an adorable sound that set my thoughts at ease. "Of course they look poofy, silly," She snips, looking up at the sky. "Oh, over there!" She points. "That one looks like a tree."

I follow her paw and, surely enough, see a cloud that mirrored an oddly shaped tree. Clouds weren't perfect by any means, but heck, the resemblance was good enough. I suppose somewhere in the world there's a tree with roots growing out of its top.

"That one looks kind of like a star," I offer, nodding my head at a little puff of white somewhere off in the distance.

And just like that, we settled into the game. With our heads side-by-side, laying on our backs and staring up at the sky, we tried to point out different shapes we could find in the clouds.

"Oh, that's a rock!"

"Tch. Weak. I found a bird-looking one over there."

"Ooh, neat! Look, that one looks like a flower!"

"I'm not sure if that's a water droplet or not..."

"Never mind that, I found a snake!"

On and off this continued, and we never bored of it. It was something to do, after all. Who was I to complain about enjoying myself anyway?

At one point in our game, I pointed out a cloud that vaguely resembled a crescent moon. Ruby smiled at that, and said she found one that looked like the sun. She pointed upwards, directing my attention to it.

Try as I might, though, I couldn't find a sun-shaped cloud in the sky. Then, I realized that she was actually pointing out the sun itself in all its radiance and glory. I told her this, and she confirmed that I was indeed correct.

"You're cheating!" I exclaimed, pushing on her shoulder a little.

She just giggled and pushed me back. "Well, then feel free to cheat a little yourself, mister. I won't mind."

Her response stunned me for a moment. I get a freebie? Okay. Well. Let's see here... Uh...

"That one looks like a cloud."

You would not believe how hard she laughed.

. . . . . .

"What's taking them so long?" Ruby pouted, fidgeting in place. She'd been so antsy to get a move on since the sun went down, yet the twins were nowhere in sight.

"I'm sure they'll be here," I answered her, sitting patiently by her side with an amused smile on my face. "Just sit still for a minute, will you?"

"You sit still for a minute," She grumbled at me. Though, she settled down a little, curling her tail about her paws as she looked up at the sky. I felt her press a little closer against me. Might be something to do with how she was afraid of the dark. I don't know... I don't care... I can't focus on anything much past the erratic beating of my heart when our pelts touched.

"Hey! Sorry we couldn't get here sooner! Mom and Dad had a tight leash on us." Someone calls out from a distance, and by inference I can tell its one of the twins. The voice is enough to catch me off guard in my dreamy state, and I jump a little in surprise, moving away from Ruby just slightly so that there's a bit of space between us and our sides aren't rubbing against each other's.

The twins walked up to us slowly. Ginger looked a little ashamed at having arrived so late, and Cream... well, Cream was trying to not look at anything: me included. Her eyes were averted shyly, sticking close to her sister's side. Well, I've received my daily dose of cutesy adorable things for today.

"Problems with the parents?" I ask, amused by the sight of them while Ruby sticks to my side and puffs her cheeks in what I assume to be irritation. I'm a little irked that the two girls made us wait so long, but again, I can be a forgiving enough person to overlook trivial little things like that.

"Y-yeah," Cream mutters by her sister's side, "T-they said something about it being dangerous at night. They talked a lot about... U-Umbreon roaming the darkness and looking for Eevee kits to eat." At this, she only pressed closer against her sister. "We... told them we'd be with you, so... so they let us go."

It's enough trouble to contain the frustration that wells inside me at the notion of stupid folk lore and rumors about the dark typed 'Eon. I put aside my simmering anger and try to get my mind off it. "They'd let you out at night so long as you were with me?" I ask, a bit surprised at this.

"Well, it's no secret that you're strong and capable, Ren," Ginger says, smiling and looking ever bit the opposite of her tense and afraid twin. "Mom and Dad think we'll be just fine if you're looking out for us."

Yeah, sure, that doesn't flatter me at all.

"Well... we should probably get a move on." I nudge Ruby, who hasn't said a word at all during this exchange, and start walking in the general direction of where we're supposed to go.

Ruby and the twins follow in tow, the latter two sticking to my sides while the singular other follows at the back. The twins walked close enough to me that our pelts were nearly touching, Cream shying away from the dark as if still afraid that something would pop out and snatch her away. Ginger, on the other paw, seemed to just press up against me for the sake of it. Though it made me just a bit uncomfortable, I suppose this is what I signed up for when I asked these girls to come out with Ruby and I tonight.

"Hey... Ren?" The shyer of the twins asks, head turning here and about while picking out shapes in the dark of the night. "Do you... believe in those stories about the Umbreon?"

I take a moment to toss the question about in my mind. Stories and slander about bloodthirsty beasts who kill for fun and simply because they can? Memories of my parents flash in the back of my mind. Warm smiles, lullabies at night, and the tender loving care that they held for me. How could I agree with the things said about them? No amount of prejudice would ever change how I felt about it.

"No... I don't."

"Y-you're not scared?" Cream asks again, turning her head to gaze at me with a hint of surprise at my response.

"No... I'm not."

"Why?" Her sister asks, Ginger tilting her head curiously at me as we walk. "They sound terrifying."

"I've... seen one before." I can't get any further into my response as the girls sounds out in shocked little gasps and I'm assaulted by questions.

"Did it see you?" Cream pipes up, her eyes filled with a mixed sense of intrigue and fear.

"How did you get out alive? Did you beat it up?" Ginger adds, hopping a little in place with a smile stretching across her muzzle.

"Of course he fought it," Ruby murmurs, walking a little faster to catch up and stealing a glance at me as she passes. "Ren's pretty strong..."

"He probably ran from it," Cream states, catching up with Ruby just ahead. "Didn't Krystal find him dying one day? That was probably after he escaped from the Umbreon!"

"He wasn't dying because he was attacked," Ruby defended, nose turned up at the Eevee by her side. "He just went too long without food or water and collapsed."

Ginger runs up to Ruby's other side, still squirming with excitement. "If we're going to talk about anything dying, it should be that Umbreon Ren killed!"

"Nobody said he killed it, Sis."

"Nobody said he didn't."

"You can't prove he killed it," Cream quips, sticking her tongue out at her sister defiantly.

"_You _can't prove he killed it!" Ginger repeats, offering a victorious smile.

"Sis, no! Stop that! I hate when you do this!"

"I hate when _you _do this!"

"Stop copying me!" Cream cries, whining at her sister's antics while her ears splay back against her head.

"Stop copying me!" Ginger mimics again.

Then they both turn to me at the same time and shout "Ren, tell her to stop!"

"No, you stop!"

"Stop it!"

A smile tugs at my lips while I watch the pair shout words at each other in unison, completely synchronized, the tones of their voices almost perfectly on level with each other. It must be that connection twins have. I've no other explanation for how Ginger knows exactly what Cream will say and cries it out on key with her sister.

"Sis, please!"

"Why are you doing this now?"

"You're so immature!"

Ruby starts to slow down, leaving the two girls mirroring each other to walk by my side where it was less chaotic.

Turning to her, I give a small chuckle. "Well, I can already tell this is gonna be a fun night."

. . . . . .

"My paws hurt," Cream groans from the back, tail dragging along the ground as she went.

Smiling, Ginger leans in and bats at the female's nose. "_My _paws hurt."

Cream glares at her sister, an irritated growl being enough to keep the mischievous twin silent. Ginger responds with nothing more than a little giggle.

It had taken almost forever for those two to settle down. Their sibling dispute went on and on until Cream finally gave up and refused to speak, keeping her maw shut defiantly.

"We're almost there, Cream," I reassure her, tossing a look over my shoulder to check up on the girls.

The twins walked side by side, paws practically dragging through the dirt while they struggled to keep their eyes open. I doubt they usually stayed up this late, so the lack of sleep really must be doing a toll on them.

Ruby, likewise, is also a ways out of her league. She follows right beside the twins, walking with her eyes shut half the time. A part of me feels some regret at having them stay out so long after sunset with me, but I knew that the place waiting for them was more than worth it.

"You said that the last time!" Cream complains again, the soft whine of her voice crying out just behind me.

"Well, this time I really mean it," I tell her. The sights and landmarks having been growing more recognizable as we walked. "It's literally just up ahead."

Surely enough, we arrive at our destination. A flat wall of rock covered in a curtain of moss rises before us, stretching on upwards and along the ground a ways off.

"Is that it?" Ginger huffs. I can hear the disbelief just dripping in her voice. "We came all the way out here to stare at the side of a mountain?"

Giving a shake of my head, a smile is quick to plant itself on my muzzle. Stepping forward, I reach out and grab the curtain of moss and pull it aside, revealing a crawl space just wide enough for a few Eevee to squeeze through. "After you, Ladies."

"Oh..." Ginger walks up to the hole in the rock and peers through it, giving a shrug before walking in. I'm glad to have gotten no complains out of her. Cream, on the other hand...

"What's in there?"

"You'll see when you walk through," I respond, motioning towards the space where her sister used to be.

"How do I know it's safe?"

"You trust me, don't you?"

"I... well, yes." She responds, fidgeting in place.

It isn't until her sister calls out in wonder from the inside that Cream gets a little curious and actually walks through as well.

Ruby's next, and I motion for her to enter. She follows through without complaint, and I marvel at how smoothly things are coming along. I continue in beside her, our paw-steps soft against the dirt-packed earth.

"So what is this place, anyway?" She asks me. I try not to pay attention to how close we are together in the tight space, but it's hard not to when I can feel each individual bristle of her fur against my pelt.

"You'll see," I say, my voice cracking with the nervousness that threatens to overwhelm me. I clear my throat, hot embarrassment burning my cheeks. Quickly, I try to get something out there to take her mind off the little detail. "I don't think much people know about the place. I guess I was lucky to find it."

Before any more questions can be asked, we enter into a wide circular space. The rock walls rise up high, ending in an open top that reveals the pitch blackness of the sky dotted with stars. The moon is just out of view, radiant beams shining down and cascading in a soft, velvety curtain. Farthest from us near the opening in the wall, there's a lake that sits under the nightly glow, shimmering in the moonlight. And hovering over the water...

"It's beautiful," Cream murmurs, her eyes trained on the radiant, glowing orbs floating over the lake, bobbing along and swaying rhythmically around each other. Flashes of greens, oranges, reds and blues jump out from the main mass of yellow.

The girls stand there, shocked in awe at the spectacle before them. They've probably never seen anything like this in their lives before. I suppose it's fair that they reacted that way, given I had a similar result upon discovery of this place.

I allow them a few moments to gawk before looking back out over the lake. "Yo, Aaron!" My voice rings out, bouncing around the rocky walls for a few moments before fading away.

A single light from the group above the lake flies upwards before speeding its way over. A Volbeat hovers before us, disbelief and wonder on his features as he stares at me. "Woah, no way!" He shouts, a great beam of a smile stretching his face. "Is that Ren? Bro, how long has it been?"

I laugh, reaching a paw up to scratch behind my head sheepishly. "Sorry, man. I kind of... got over the whole dead parents thing. Stopped needing things to help cheer me up, you know? I mean... it still bothers me every now and then, but it's not as bad as it used to be."

I smile up at the Volbeat, thinking back on when I'd first found this place. It was always a great go-to if I ever needed to get away from my life and lose myself in the show. I might have been away for too long. I almost forget what it was like to watch the colors above the lake and forget about everything but the simple beauty of it. "Anyhow, I'm back for tonight. And I brought company."

Aaron positions himself so that he's floating, head pointed to the ground and an arm crossed over his chest, the other placed underneath his chin while he eyes the girls with a grin plastered on his face. "I see. Knowing you, I expect you intend to show these ladies a good time?"

"Ah... I suppose you could say that."

He flips himself right-side up, practically radiating an infectious, happy mood. "In that case, you don't need to worry 'bout nothin', Brotha. Aaron's got you covered!" Just as quickly as he approached, the light bug sped away.

"Hey, wait!" I chased after him for a good few lengths until I grabbed onto the back of his leg before he could fly out of reach. He gives me a curious look as I tug him down to my level. "No hearts," I hiss at him, swearing under my breath. "I swear, Aaron, you cannot put any hearts in the show. I will personally murder you."

A confused look falls over his features and he glances over my shoulder at Ruby and the twins, too far away to hear anything about this discussion. "I'd be doing you a favor, though..."

"Aaron!"

He laughs, shaking my paw away and holding his arms up in mock defeat. "Okay, okay! Chill a little, yeah? It's nice to see you back. Wouldn't want to scare a brother away, after all." He wins and clicks his tongue, making his way back to the group of other Illimuse and Volbeat mingling over the shimmering waters. "Just relax and enjoy."

Releasing a shaky sigh, I make my way back toward the girls.

"You know that guy?" Ruby asks as I get there.

"Yeah," I murmur, turning to look at the mass of lights to try and locate Aaron. I've already lost him to the crowd. There were just so many of them. "I used to come here a lot. It... helped with the depression, you know?"

"Oh... Ren, I had no idea..."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Ruby's about to push the topic until a bright flash of red light stops her. Over the lake's shimmering waters, the show has started.

Illimuse and Volbeat twine around each other, giving off individual lights of color as they go. They paint images with their light, sometimes melting away into the raw, pure spectrum of color. Accompanied by the sight is a low, melodic hum. It's a sound which rings out clearly as every participant sings, something that wavers and changes in pitch with the color of the light.

The girls watch in fascination. The place alone surely was enough to take their breath away, but this? It was even better to have your own private light show. It was something to stare at and lose yourself in, so that you felt at peace with the world.

Nothing was wrong. There weren't any problems in a place of such beauty and heavenly grace. Here, you weren't you. You were the grass, and the water in the lake, and the stars up above. You were the moonlight that filtered down onto the land, the darkness of the sky and the crisp, fresh air. And, most importantly, you were the color.

You were the show. You were those lights above the water that twinkled and sparkled and faded into existence. You were the warmth of it, the happiness of it, the pure joy and elation of it.

You were beautiful, and nothing could ever take that away from you so long as you sat there and just... watched.

Until a bright, red, pink, and sparkly heart explodes in the center of it all. And another. And then another...

Aaron, you are so dead...

. . . . . .

"That was amazing!" Ginger exclaimed as we had exited the crack in the rocky wall and the curtain of moss fell behind us.

Despite my discomfort at the show of hearts and lovey romantic singing of Aaron and his friends, tonight actually did go out pretty well. On the way back home, the twins stuck to my side, soft purrs echoing in their chests as they talked about their favorite parts of the show. Their earlier exhaustion seemed to have been forgotten amid the excitement of it all.

"The ending had to be the topping! There were so many explosions and lights!"

"Did you see that swirling thingy they did? It was so pretty!"

"I really liked the part where it was raining red and yellow and, oh, pink is such a beautiful color!"

"Pink? You remember those hearts, right? And how Ren-"

"Blushed? I know! It was so thoughtful of him!" Cream sighed, picking up on her sister's sentence without missing a beat.

"It was so adorable of him." Ginger purred, pressing closer against me. You would think she were glued there.

Also, I am not adorable! I did not blush! That was all the blood rushing to my head and threatening to explode out of sheer embarrassment. But, of course, you can't argue against two twins who have their hearts set out for you.

This was practically how it was the entire return trip. Every now and again I would glance back at Ruby. She was falling behind, and I figured it was due to exhaustion. Who knew how far past her bedtime it was? Though, whenever I'd try to look at her, she'd turn her eyes away. On the rare occasion she didn't avert her gaze, I'd smile at her reassuringly. What I wouldn't give for her to be the one rubbing against my side instead of these two.

When we finally got back, the world was quiet save for the rustling of leaves and grass that came with the soft late night breeze.

Everyone was relieved to return to their families. Before the twins had a chance to run off, something occurred to me in that moment.

"Ah, hey. Cream? Ginger? You didn't get a chance to share your special thing today." I was only inviting them along to get back at Cynthia for being so cruel, but an assignment is an assignment. The only ones who hadn't done their part were them two.

An amused spark lit up their eyes, and there was something in me that almost regretted reminding them. "Oh, that's right!" Ginger laughed. "I almost forgot. See, my sister and I-"

"-Didn't know what exactly to do for that," Cream continued, both her and her sister moving to either side of me. "So... we thought real hard about it throughout tonight and-"

"-We figured this would be an appropriate thanks for putting up with us," Ginger finished.

Quickly, they both leaned in and pressed twin kisses on either side of my cheeks before pulling back and offering shy, timid smiles.

"Thanks, Ren." Cream murmured, the light tinge of scarlet burning her face clear even in the faint wash of moonlight.

"It was fun." Ginger chimed in, tugging her sister along after her as they sped away.

I watched them run off, cheeks burning where their muzzles had touched. I bring a paw up to rub at the spot a little, smiling at their antics. Well, that was sweet of them. They really are nice girls.

"Alright, Ruby. We should get you home. Your parents are probably worried sick. I didn't mean to keep you out this late."

There's an exhaustion I can see in her. Behind the drooping eyes and thousand-yard stare, there was something else. Something that sent little flags of concern waving around in my mind. "Are... you alright?"

She flinches at my voice, bringing a paw up to rub at her eyes. "Yeah... I'm jus' tired..." Her voice had a... bitter, defensive tone. I was starting to think I'd done something wrong until she offered me a weak smile. It wasn't much in ways of reassurance, but it put my mind at ease.

"Climb on my back, then. I'm not going to have you exhaust yourself any further."

I expected some sort of refusal to my offer, but surprisingly enough she just climbed on the moment I set myself down before her. Heck, if I was her I wouldn't want to be standing right now, let alone walking.

There's a smile that draws itself across my lips at the closeness of the situation. Sure, any girl in the world could rub herself against my side and purr. I'd hardly bat an eye. But with Ruby? All she has to do is put a paw on me. There doesn't need to be any affection to it. It could be at my shoulder or the tip of my nose, and I'd still react the same way. Just having her on my back like this is enough to empty my lungs and make it hard to breathe with that familiar ache in my chest.

There's some solace I find in how her paws wrap around my neck. There's a pleasure I take in the weight of her atop my back and the light breaths that sound next to my ear. It makes me shiver.

"Ren?"

"Yes?"

"Do you... like the twins?" Her voice is soft and dreamy. I can hear how tired she is. The question was probably brought out of her from somewhere in her sleep-deprived mind.

"Why do you ask?" I question, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. I'd say I did a pretty good job of it.

"They were... really affectionate tonight," she murmurs, pressing herself closer against me.

"Oh?" I laugh, thinking back to the actions that had just transpired moments ago. "You mean the kisses?"

Ruby's claws slide out from their covers and she hugs me tighter, gently pricking at the skin beneath my fur. It takes all the composure I have to hold back the warm, trembling sigh that threatens to spill from my lips. She nods against the back of my neck, choosing to stay silent.

"Well... they're nice girls," I start off. My ears flicker as there's a slight hitch in her breath, causing her next exhale to be warmer than the last. It washes against the tip of my ear and I gave an involuntary shudder. Oh gods, why does she have to be so enticing even when she literally isn't even doing anything? Thankfully enough, my voice doesn't shake as I continue. "But I don't think I'll be chasing after either of them."

So don't worry about it. You're the only girl for me, after all.

I wanted to say it. I wanted so bad to just say it. But it was a stupid thing to do. Someone would end up hurt in the end if I did. I didn't want that, so I kept my mouth shut. Things were safer that way.

Ruby's claws slid back into their sheathes. She was silent the rest of the way back. I presumed she had fallen asleep. Poor girl. I really shouldn't have kept her out so late. Her parents would probably kill me.

When we come across the line of bushes that separates the outside world from her home, I ease myself downwards and prepare to wake Ruby up. It turns out that she wasn't asleep after all, stepping off my back just as my stomach hits the ground.

"Sorry for making you stay up so late past your bed time."

"It's okay. I had fun."

I smile despite myself. Hearing that was enough to warm my heart. She had fun. At least I did something right for a change. I stand back up, brushing a paw against my chest to wipe away any dirt that might have gathered there. "Right. You take care, Ruby."

Just as I start walking away, she calls out for me to wait. I stop without getting the chance to even turn around. "Yeah?" I ask her.

"I..." Ruby seems as if she's struggling with something. Her mouth is open, but words aren't coming out. She heaves a sigh, staring at the ground while speaking out just loud enough for me to hear. "I want to change my special thing."

I wasn't really expecting to hear something like that. Change the special thing for the assignment her mother gave us? Was that even allowed? And, most importantly... "Why?"

Her eyes get watery while she looks up, pawing at the ground while trying to keep her gaze level with mine. "Because it wasn't... special."

"Ruby," I smile, finding the little whine in her voice someway between adorable and amusing. "The sunset is a very special thing."

"But... it doesn't _mean _anything..."

"Of course it does. It means a lot to me when we watch the sunset together. Doesn't that count for something?" I really wish she would just drop this. If I go on like this any further, something stupid might come out of my mouth. Oh, by the way, did you know I love you? Like, I've had a crush on you for years. Haha, I know, weird right?

"It's not... You..."

"Ruby, I don't understand... w-wait... are you crying?"

Yes. There's a shimmer in her eyes and tears brim beneath those soft brown pools. "We watch the sun set together all the time, Ren!" She cries, pushing her paws down into the ground defiantly. "It's nothing new. It's old, tired, and... normal. I want to do something... different." She takes a few steps closer to me, her nose practically brushing against my lips. Her voice goes soft, and it trembles with emotion. "I don't want you to look at me and think of a stupid sunset. I want you to look... and I want you to see me. I... I want to do something... special, Ren. "

I would speak, but my breathing just stopped. I would take a step back, but my legs have locked up. I would try to rationalize the situation, but my mind has gone numb. Before I can even fabricate other scenarios that show Ruby doesn't mean anything by these words, her lips press against mine.

Just like that, my brain kicks into gear. Her kiss fires a warm impulse to shoot from my lips down to the tip of my tail. The only thing I can think of is her. How her muzzle is soft like I imagined it. How perfect this kiss is, with its warm passion and hinting at desire. How she presses against my lips with hers and how I want to make those tears falling down her cheeks go away.

How I don't want anyone to hurt her, ever.

Not even myself.

I can't

I can't.

What happens when she finds out I'm not normal? That I _want _to follow the same evolutionary path as my parents? She'd think I'm a monster. Who in their right minds would ever love a monster?

This, right here. This kiss is everything I'd ever wanted. Just for her to really look at me. To give me the time of day. To smile at me with something... more. And even though I've been yearning to kiss her for years... even though I could be happy for _once _in my miserable life, I can't do this to her.

Not Ruby. Please.

"Ren?"

Her eyes flutter open as I pull away. An embarrassed blush burns her cheeks in the soft glow of moonlight and she's just so... divine. How could a goddess ever love a beast?

"I'm sorry, Ruby..."

"Did I..." Tears spring to her eyes, and she shrinks away shyly. Something about what I said brought a tremble to her voice. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no. I... I just..."

"You...?"

"I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't." I can feel myself about to cry, too. It was hard to remind myself that I'm doing the right thing here. It was better before this. Before when she didn't have any feelings for me. I could have left. I could have gone away from here knowing she wouldn't miss me.

Damn it! Why do these things have to be so difficult?

"Ren, I..."

I don't think I could hold myself together if she started crying right in front of me. I didn't want to see her beauty shatter into a pool of crystalline tears. And most of all, I didn't want to know it was me who made her cry. It would break my heart. It would destroy me.

"Goodnight, Ruby."

I ran before she could say anything. I just had to get away. Far, far away from whatever road that would take me down. If I looked back now, I would see her face lost and confused, hurt and scared. It would be my fault, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

So I didn't look. I just ran back home, letting my tears blur the edges of the world until I stood upon smudges of brown and green, and the moon in the sky was nothing but a misplaced dot of white on a canvas of black.

Nothing but a mistake.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to let go and forget about the way her lips felt. She kissed me. She _kissed _me. Why do I feel so sad? Why is it that I want to die when the greatest possible thing just happened to me?

Why does it hurt? Gods... why does it hurt so much?

When I finally got back home, my body burned for rest. I hadn't realized how exhausted I was: how physically and emotionally drained tonight had left me. The others were asleep; Kris, Nathan, and Celia all curled up in their respective places. I made my way over to my bed as silently as possible, holding back the hiccups and gasps, my throat aching with the effort it took to subdue the wild noises threatening to leap out of my body while tears streamed down my cheeks in rivulets. I would cry in silence. Nobody needed to hear. The world doesn't need to know that I'm in pain.

Getting to my bed, I pushed my muzzle deep into the straw and dried grass. I didn't want to feel anything. Not this terrible darkness filling my heart. Not this throbbing ache behind my eyes. And definitely not the depression and hatred for myself that lay just beneath the surface.

Let me sleep.

Let me forget.

Please.