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Sam's warm, fuzzy lips pulled away from me abruptly. I opened my eyes to see him quickly stand up and wipe my kiss from his mouth with a large, furry arm. Jonas turned to face us from the fire and Sam looked away from me, toward his house. It was difficult to tell what his blank expression meant. It was almost like my affection had drained him of emotion. My face must have turned beat red in the awkward silence that followed.

"Uh... Are you two alright?" Jonas asked after several tense moments, while my stomach tied itself into an embarrassed, regretful knot.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and managed to reply.

"I- I'm fine..." I said. "Just a little shaken is all."

"Yeah," Sam added. "Let's head inside. Ya should get some clothes on too, Mal."

His eyes briefly darted back to my nude body and I couldn't be positive, but he seemed to be focusing on my crotch. His glance only lasted a split-second, but I was convinced of what I saw. It gave me a tiny bit of hope despite the fact that his words had a distant tone. I watched his hulking wolf form slowly revert back into the handsome man I admired. Jonas helped me to my feet and we followed Sam's hairy, naked, tantalizing rear inside. We went to our separate rooms inside and got dressed. I sat on the bed for a long while, thinking about what I had done. Was it the right decision? Sam's reaction was not what I expected. At least he hadn't struck me. Still... I was disappointed. Maybe it was because Jonas was there too. I didn't think Jonas would have cared, but Sam might feel differently. I had to admit that I didn't really know Sam all that well. Maybe that was the reason he was reluctant. Hell, maybe he hadn't even thought of me in that way before I kissed him. I had no way of knowing for certain.

I sat there for a long time, wrestling with myself. I felt like somehow, now that I was free of my glamour that my life would be drastically different. It wasn't. I was still a stupid kid. My only chance to learn about my new life was Sam. If I scared him away, I would truly be alone in a world that I just didn't understand. But... I still wanted him to know how I truly felt about him. The smell of cooking meat filled my nose and beckoned me down stairs. So down I went. Sam was sitting in the living room, staring at a fire he must have lit in the fireplace. I entered the kitchen instead. Jonas was cooking something in a frying pan on the stove: hamburgers. I opened the refrigerator and poured myself a glass of milk.

"What happened out there when I wasn't looking?" Jonas asked. "Sam's been really quiet since he came back down stairs."

"What's our plan for the next few days?" I countered, trying to change the subject.

Jonas gave me a concerned look, but answered my question anyway.

"Sam's going to teach you a bit about lycanthropic life. Then we can discuss what to do about the cult that is hunting us."

"What ever happened to that man who followed us to the low court?" I asked.

Jonas grimaced.

"Sam lost track of him during their confrontation and he got away. It's a bit disconcerting that he hasn't found us yet, to be honest."

I shrugged. I was grateful that we hadn't been discovered. Or maybe we had been and the cult wasn't acting on it yet. For all I knew, the monster that Sam had killed in my bedroom a few nights prior might have been sent by them. Jonas flipped the burgers while I finished my milk.

"So we're not going to talk about the awkward silence between you two outside then?"

Jonas looked at me like a parent would have. I sighed.

"I... I kissed him..."

The changeling in front of the stove raised an eyebrow at me.

"Then you should probably talk to him about it so there's no confusion. Whatever kind of relationship you end up having with Sam; the more you two know about each other, the better off you'll be in the days to come. Trust me on this, Mal."

I stared into my empty glass as Jonas removed the cooked burgers from the pan and added three more raw patties in their place.

"You don't care that I... prefer men?"

Jonas shrugged.

"Why would it matter to me? My culture... that is, fae culture, never split hairs about love the way humans do. However, those closer to humans like loup garou tend to have more baggage in regards to traditional human taboo." Jonas flipped the burgers again in the pan. "Basically, I'm trying to say that who you 'prefer' is your business, not mine. Unless I'm the object of your desire, of course."

He said the whole thing so matter-of-factly that I was taken aback by it. I suppose the fae were far more progressive than I initially thought. When I didn't immediately respond, he continued.

"Though, if I were to take a human or loup lover, I doubt it would end happily. Your life-spans are just too short when compared to mine."

His tone became sad so I abruptly switched the topic before I ruined two moods in one day.

"What do you know about Sam, Jonas?" I asked.

"I know he likes to keep to himself. I know that his first transformation was rough. I don't know if he ever moved passed it, but if he plans on helping you with your newfound talents, then he'll have to open up a bit, don't you think?"

I sighed. It was clear that I wasn't going to get any new information from him. I would have to talk to Sam directly.

"Go ahead, Mal. You've still got some time before dinner is ready."

I nodded. What else was there to do? I made my way back to the living room. Sam was still sitting on the couch, gazing into the crackling flames that filled the fire place. I sat down in a chair opposite him and waited for him to notice me. After several minutes of silence, I spoke first.

"Sam?" I said.

He quickly turned his head as if being pulled from a dream.

"Y-yeah, what is it?" he asked.

"About earlier..."

"Accidents happen," he said. "It's alright."

"It wasn't an accident," I insisted.

Sam took a deep breath and brushed his hands along the top of his legs several times. It was like he was gathering the courage to speak. It was odd to see him this way.

"Look, I can't... I'm not..."

Nevertheless, his words caught in his throat.

"Forget about what I did," I said. "What's wrong?"

"As if it was so easy to forget..." he mumbled. "I guess I should come clean."

I nodded as a lump formed in my throat.

"I lied yesterday. There is another death I'm responsible for..."

***

"I ain't told anyone else about this. It's kinda personal, an' all. It was soon after my first change. My mum was teachin' me about bein' a loup in secret. I was workin' for a local grocer as a heavy lifter in the stockroom. At the time, there were rumors flyin' around about the foreman's wandering hands, but I wasn't a girl so I never worried about it. One night, I was workin' later than usual. The other stock lifters had left early an' I was left to finish up by myself. To this day, I dunno if they left me there on purpose as some kinda twisted rite of passage.

"As I was bendin' down to lift a few sacks of flour, I felt someone's fingers slidin' along the crack of my ass through my jeans. I dropped the bags and whirled around with my lip curled, ready to belt whichever joker had touched me. The foreman, Mark Wallace was standin' there with one hand on his crotch an' the other frozen in the air. To be honest, he wasn't ugly. He smiled handsomely under his graying mustache an' said a pick up line that I can't remember. I do remember givin' him a sidelong glance, but it was clear that he wasn't jokin'. It was just us in that back room an' we both knew no one would come check on us. Everyone else had already left the store. I admit, at that point in my life I was very new to sex. I hadn't even so much as experimented with anyone except myself. The thought of just touchin' another man's dick had me hot and breathin' heavy.

"I was also young an' stupid. Mark pulled a rolled up copy of Playboy from his back pocket and we looked at it together while we each gripped the other's throbbin' dick. I had seen Playboys before, but on that night, it seemed them girls were perfect; perfect eyes, perfect smiles, perfect bodies... After a while, though, I was spendin' more time watchin' Mark's handsome torso rise an' fall with each pulse of blood through his meat. And once I started thinking about it like that...

"I dropped to my knees in front of him an' took him in my mouth, suckin' and lickin' at his flesh. He was surprised at first, evidently none of the other boys were as eager as me. Mark continued flipping the pages of the magazine for a while and then tossed it aside, gripping my head with his hands as I made him moan above me. My heart raced in my chest, faster and faster until the whole room seemed very far away. I was focused only on the pleasure of the hot meat in my mouth an' my own in my hand. I remember thinkin' how good he tasted; how delicious human meat was...

"Mark's hissin' warnings of 'teeth!' that gradually became louder an' more frantic seemed so far away and I foolishly ignored 'em. When the explosion of release hit me like a tidal wave, I barely heard the sound of my own roarin' growls over the intense feeling. In the moment, I didn't want it to stop. But eventually, the scent of sweat an' semen an' blood filtered through the pleasurable haze until I found myself alone an' naked in front of the torn up corpse of my foreman."

***

Sam stared into the fire again, abruptly ending his story. I realized that I had been clenching the arm of the chair so tightly that my fingers ached. It was no surprise to me now that he was reluctant to consciously show affection. I assumed that his cuddling me in bed was involuntary, though it brought horrifying thoughts to my head about how dangerous he might have been if I had tried reciprocating. I was also certain now, that Sam enjoyed both women and men, though I was no longer sure that I wanted to go all the way with him. We sat in silence for several moments until Sam turned back to me and smiled.

"I ain't been with anyone that way since," he said. "I'm bein' honest this time."

"Were you scared?" I asked.

"'Course I was; so scared that I ran away an' haven't looked back."

I didn't know what to say.

"But sometimes I think of my ma, you know? She probably missed me. I think she knew what happened when she read the news... I guess I'm just not suited to living with humans."

"Are you sure you should be giving me advice, then?" I asked.

Sam snorted at me.

"Is that all you got from this story? That I'm a loup who can't control himself? I've shown plenty of restraint around you so far, haven't I?"

I smiled.

"So you do like me," I said.

"What? That's not what I meant!"

Sam's face turned red as he grew defensive and I cracked a smile. Sam looked like he was about to say something further, but Jonas arrived with a plate stacked full of steaming hamburgers. We ate in relative silence, other than the sounds of chewing and swallowing. Though Sam glared at me in annoyance several times throughout the meal. When we were done, Sam pointed one of his thick fingers at me.

"You. Outside, now!"

"But I'm not done with my drink..." I said.

"Outside!" Sam barked.

I hurried to obey. Jonas chuckled to himself as he followed us. The sun had already set and a chill hung in the dusky air. Streaks of orange and red light dimly lit the sky between the trees. Sam grabbed my arms and moved me off of the porch and out onto the lawn. When he was satisfied with my position, he walked a few paces away and turned to face me.

"Clothes: off," he said.

I disrobed and watched him do the same.

"Remember these rules: hands off, eyes up here."

He pointed to his face when he said it.

"The point is to focus. Don't let yourself get distracted."

I nodded.

"What are we-?" I started to ask, but Sam interrupted me.

"Change!" He ordered.

Thinking back on it, what Sam demanded of me was pretty unfair. Both of my previous transformations had been completely involuntary. I didn't know how to trigger it willingly yet. Nevertheless, I tried. I thought back to what made me change in the first place. I remembered Sam's well built, hairy chest inches from my face. I remembered is whispering voice in my ear. My eyes drifted downwards on his body in front of me at the memories.

"Eyes!" Sam barked.

I winced and looked back up at his amber colored irises.

"Stay focused," he said with a more gentle tone.

"Got any specific advice?" I asked.

"Don't rely on the feelings that triggered yer uncontrollable transformation. Those are the ones you need to keep in check."

"So what should I be doing, then?"

"Try to remember what you felt after you transformed," he said. "Remember those instincts that brought you back here if you can. It should be quick an' almost instant, like this."

I watched Sam's familiar black fur sprout over his body and his limbs snap into their alternate configuration. It sounded like it should have been painful, but his face remained calm throughout. His request, though, was much easier to fathom. My advantage over Sam was that I actually remembered much from my first change. I looked into his yellow eyes as I thought of the thrill of stalking the deer. I remembered the feeling of power that came from watching other predators flee from me. I remembered the claws on my right hand digging into the flesh as I tore out the animal's throat with my jaws.

"Very good," Same said. "That's... wow..."

I didn't feel any different. Sam must have noticed my confused expression and he gestured to my right arm. I looked down to see a much thicker, muscular limb, covered in gray fur with a sharp claw on each finger. The rest of me was still human and despite my loss of focus on transforming, the furred arm still remained.

"How'd ya do that?" Sam asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Ya only changed part of ya," he said. "I ain't never seen that before."

I couldn't answer.

"My assumption would be that it has something to do with the cult," Jonas piped up from the porch.

"What good does this do them?" I asked.

"Well none, now," Sam said, adding a chuckle. "Let's see if ya can go all the way, hm?"

I smirked as my brain created a lewd double entendre with his words. Apparently that was all I needed because I felt the transformation quickly take hold of the rest of me. This time, it was painful. I felt every snap of bone and expansion of muscle. The sprouting fur sent fire streaking across my flesh. I clenched my teeth, but that was a mistake. As they grew and became sharper, they dug into my gums. I tasted delicious coppery blood and lifted my head towards the night sky to unleash a terrifying howl.

"Ah, shit, Mal, not again!" I heard Sam say.

I felt his weight on top of me and one of his large paws against my throat. My limbs scrambled under him of their own accord. My body was trying to get free despite what my brain told it. However, now that Sam wasn't holding back, he was just too strong. My vision blurred and I was overcome with darkness as Sam cut off my air supply.