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The warrior, the druid and the badger By Strega

Erik's horse snorted and half-reared as they hit a bend in the road, and as they passed a tree he saw why. Coming the other way up the rutted trail was an enormous badger.

"Gods above," he swore as he grabbed the hilt of the longsword hanging from the saddle. Calmer nerves prevailed as he saw that the badger too had a rider.

He could only stop and stare. The broad, turtle-like body of the beast supported a blanket, saddlebags, a bedroll, and other items too numerous to take in at a glance. Sitting in the saddle was a bearded man holding a wooden staff with leaves sprouting from it. That and the traditional curved sword hanging at his side told Erik what he was, if the wagon-sized badger mount wasn't enough of a clue.

"Ho there, badger rider," he said with a grin. "You must be a druid."

The suspicious look the man was giving him lightened, and there was a hint of a smile. "Good eye. This is Thistlefur, my companion." He learned forward to scratch behind the monstrous badger's ears, and it stopped letting out the teakettle-like hiss it'd begun when it saw Erik.

"Don't mind her," the druid continued. "She doesn't like scale armor." The beast's beady eyes, fixed on Erik's chest since he appeared, half-lidded in pleasure as the druid kept scratching her ears. "I wore it a few times and it pulls her fur out. Gets caught between the scales, you know."

Erik was in his second-best maille, enameled bright red with darker red leather beneath and a marked contrast to the green-dyed leather armor the druid wore.

"It's not every day I see a dire badger," Erik ventured, and walked his horse a little off the trail to show he wanted to linger a bit. The druid clicked his tongue and the badger waddled after, foot-long claws leaving grooves in the dirt. "And she's much larger than most."

"Thistlefur is very special," said the druid, and Erik had time to give the thing a thorough looking over. It was at least twelve feet long nose to rump, not counting the short thick tail, and six or eight feet wide. Its true bulk was hard to estimate because of its long and brushy flank-fur but he thought it must weigh a couple of tons. Its head alone was the size of his whole body. "And a good friend."

"You probably hear this everywhere you go," Erik said, "But as soon as I saw you riding her I thought of this song." It was a dirty song sung by both bards and drunken bar-goers he must have heard in a dozen taverns by now.

For the first time a full smile creased the druid's face. "It's true, you know. Well, that verse is, anyway. That fox gave Thistlefur such a humping as she's not had before or since, and she's let warhorses have a go at her." He slapped the badger's flank and it almost looked as though she smiled as she twisted her head to look at him.

"So the foxtaur is real? I've just heard rumors. I've met Volpa, but...."

"Real as you or me. Half of a giant volpa on top of a giant fox and he swore Thistlefur waggled her rump at him. A dog is a dog even when it's a fox and he did apologize me for knocking me off my mount when he, well, mounted her. Hialfi, his name is, and his knot is bigger than your head even with that helmet on."

That was rather more detail than Erik expected or needed, but he was still curious. "What do you do when there isn't a giant foxtaur around?"

"Well, it's obvious really," the druid said with what he would boast later was an admirably straight face.

"You turn into some big animal and mate with her?"

"I just strip down and crawl in. Wiggle around for a while until she's happy. She squirts me back out...eventually."

The druid held the stoic expression as one of horror crawled its way onto Erik's face, and then he couldn't hold the laughter back any more. He slapped the badger's flank and guffawed, and it wasn't until Erik, face stony, turned his horse toward the road that he finally gasped to a stop.

He held up a hand. "Sorry. Couldn't resist. People don't ask me that sort of question very often. Seriously though, Thistlefur has needs and I am not powerful enough to turn into anything big enough to satisfy her. When she's in the mood I fist her."

"Fist," Erik repeated, not sure he wanted to know. Surely he didn't mean -

But he did. The druid held up his hand and made a fist. "Just what it sounds like. All the way to the shoulder."

Erik grimaced. "Well, a man has to do what he has to do."

The badger, who had been looking back and forth from the druid to Erik, let out a whine and pawed the ground.

The druid grunted. "Serves me right for teasing you. Now I've gotten her excited. Pardon me a moment." Erik drew back cautiously as the man waved his leafy staff, and as vines sprang from the ground in an arc between them and the road. Within moments a barrier of thin but solid-looking brush cut off all view of the rutted trail. Nothing he couldn't have ridden right through, but it did block his view of the road, and vice versa. The druid slipped the staff back into a loop on the badger's back.

"It's been a while since she needed, ah, attention, and it's the least I can do since she carries me around all day. Feel free to watch."

Repulsed, yet somehow unable to simply leave, Erik transferred his sword to his belt and slid out of the saddle. It took a moment to put the blinders on his horse, the well trained animal standing perfectly still since it was accustomed to being fed when it was tied to a tree like this. Nor was it disappointed this time. It was munching oats from a bag when he returned his attention to the druid.

The badger turned away and crouched down, not that it had far to go on its thick legs. Its short but furry tail hoisted high and he had an uncomfortably clear view of both its anus and the pink slit beneath it. The druid was making soothing noises as he stroked the wet folds of the beast's sex.

The great paws shifted as she curled around until one ink-dark eye was focused on her master, and a chattering noise emerged from her fanged muzzle as the druid slipped a hand into her.

There was a squelch as the man pushed his forearm, leather bracer and all, into the badger. The upraised tail flagged back and forth and the beast let out a long hiss of what Erik assumed was arousal.

It was horrifying and yet he couldn't look away. "I'm from a farming family. I've seen this done with cows, but not so the cow could, er, enjoy it."

The druid was rubbing the outer folds of the badger's wet sex once more. The man shot him an amused look. "You know, those bracers would amuse her."

"I thought you said she didn't like scale mail." His scale coat ended at the upper arms, but wide leather bracelets covered with more enameled scales protected his forearms.

"Not against her fur." The druid stepped away and bowed theatrically toward the badger's rump. "Want to see if she likes it against her flesh?"

Erik cast a nervous glance at the wall of foliage between them and the road. Somehow it seemed too thin to cover up what he was about to do. "Promise me you won't tell that bard."

The druid laughed. "The song is about the fox, but I swear, if you hear a verse about you fisting a badger I will let you punch me in the nose."

"I'm going to have to wash my armor," Erik muttered as he stepped forward. The badger's sex was at least a foot long from top to bottom and almost triangular. He hesitated, only for the beast to whine plaintively and back up into him. He had to step back smartly or get a faceful of badger ass.

The druid smiled as he stepped back as well. "Don't keep her waiting, son. She knows what you're doing back there. Do you?"

"Right," Erik muttered, and clenched his fist. There was a wet sound as he stuffed his hand and then forearm into the beast. The sensation was like nothing he'd experienced. Wet, smooth flesh slid over and around his fist and armored wrist, and it was alive, warm and pulsating. The badger let out a long chittering noise and backed up again.

This time he was ready and stiffened his arm. Erik grinned as his arm disappeared to the shoulder into the badger's sex. It occurred to him to pull out partway and push back in, and as he did the scales of his armor scraped along the walls of her vulva. Each time they did the badger twitched and chittered.

"I think Thistlefur's opinion on scale mail may improve after this," the druid grinned. "Use the other arm too."

Uncomfortably aware that he too was aroused - he'd never dreamed of servicing a giant badger, but her enjoyment was contagious - Erik shook his head. "It's not that wide, I'd need to lie on my side or something."

Even with just one fist the badger was loving this. She grew more and more excited, pawing the ground and pushing back against him. He was to the upper arm in her and had to crane his head away lest he get a closer look at her asshole than he really wanted. The muscular depths of her sex clutched and rippled as the badger chittered, until finally the vulva clenched down tight. Erik frowned and tugged, but wet as it was in there the beast had a grip on his arm and just wouldn't let go.

"Did she come? She's got quite a grip."

"Oh no," the druid said from close behind him. "It'll take more than that."

"What," Erik said, for suddenly the man's hand was on the back of his helmet the other on his shoulder. "Now hold on -" but the druid shoved with all his might, and with a squelch Erik's head, helmet and all, followed his arm into the badger's sex.

"This isn't funny," Erik said, and was immediately aware the druid could not hear him. The outer folds of the badger's sex were more loose than the wet tunnel further in and everything went dark as her vagina engulfed him to the shoulders. The scent of aroused badger was overpowering and his open-faced helm left a space for her wet flesh to press right against his lips. He hadn't planned to kiss her, and if he had, certainly not like this.

The badger's pulse thrummed through the flesh wrapped around his arms and face, and a shudder went through the beast. There was a new tension in the muscle surrounding him and though thick flesh and fur separated him from the outside air he heard a deep, shuddering growl.

The excited badger arched her back and thrust her rump toward the ground, and the druid hadn't backed away. Two hands pressed against Erik's lower back, holding him upright as the beast's sex slipped down over him. Dripping-wet flesh pressed Erik's armor tight against his body as the badger's pussy expanded over Erik's shoulders and engulfed him to the elbows. The shudder in the surrounding flesh intensified and there was finally enough of him stuffed into the badger to bring her to climax.

In the wet dark Erik's eyes went wide, because as the badger tensed and shivered she didn't squirt him out. The ripples were in quite the opposite direction and actually sucked him in another few inches. At the same moment the big female straightened her legs and short though she was at the rump he found his booted toes barely reached the ground. The only thing holding him up was the badger's sex and it showed no signs of letting go.

"All right already," he grumbled. "You've had your joke." He kicked irritably at the inside of the badger's thigh. He could just imagine what his friends would say when they heard about it, and the druid who stuffed him in had to be enough of a jackass to spread the word. When he got out he was going to punch the man right in the nose, badger or not.

He was pushing at the badger's rump with his other hand, managing to pull himself perhaps an inch or two out before being sucked right back in, when he realized the druid was not standing idle. In just a few seconds the druid reached around his waist and undid the buckle on his sword belt. For the first time Erik felt genuine alarm. An instant later that alarm turned to fear.

There was a new shudder in the fleshy walls wrapped around his upper body. The badger let out a long growl that penetrated the meat surrounding him and that flesh rippled once more. This time it wasn't a spasmodic, even orgasmic thing, but more like the muscles of a throat as a bite of meat is swallowed. The sucking grip around his arm and body tightened, and his eyes went wide as he was sucked even further into the badger.

With his other arm pinned to his side now by the folds of the badger's sex Erik could only kick and swear. Inch by inch the horrible wet sex pulled him in, and as he was swallowed by the badger's nether bits the druid was snatching pouches from his other belts. Erik just missed grabbing the treacherous druid's wrist as the man reached close to the hungry sex to pull a medal from his armor. But the fluids dripping down his arm let the man slip free, just as they lubricated his own passage into the badger.

He was in her to the rump now and Erik's kicks hit only air, yet the badger showed no sign of stopping. The long tunnel of her sex wrapped tight around him and in some obscene reversal of nature he was being pulled in instead of pushing him out.

Her hatred of scale mail had to be diminishing as dozens of pointed metal plates, now sodden with her juices all the way past the metal to Erik's skin, scraped her innermost recesses. Each time he wriggled in another futile effort to escape they dug in and tickled her once more, and with a long shuddering hiss the badger tensed. There was no doubt that she came again, but the tense grip of her sex still rippled in the wrong direction and Erik's face emerged into a looser space.

Erik coughed wetly, spat out a mouthful of badgerjuice, then punched the unseen wall of what had to be the badger's womb. He had gone in fist-first and unable to resist but now he made his displeasure felt.

"Usually I have to tie people up to get them in there, but you were very helpful," the druid said to Erik's feet, which were all that remained outside. "And about scale mail? That was the truth. Hates it. Seems like she likes it an awful lot when it's on its way in, though." It had taken quite a few spells to modify Thistlefur so she could do things like this but it was always entertaining watching a struggling adventurer get sucked in.

Thistlefur was a sweet-natured beast, but she did have to eat, and she was happy to obey her master's suggestions as to what that food might be. He personally loathed adventurers, and so he fed his companion and removed annoyances all in one go.

He had just pulled off one of those dark red leather boots when he saw Thistlefur's upraised tail flag back and forth. Almost too late he noticed the hilt of a dagger protruding from Erik's second boot. He grabbed the dagger as with a long, shuddering yowl his companion tensed. Thistlefur came once more and the boot and accompanying bare foot were sucked into the wet depths of her sex. With a last slurp and a wet slithering sound there was nothing left of the adventurer but the gear he'd managed to strip off and a new droop to the big badger's abdomen.

"This isn't funny any more," Erik complained darkly. The badger's sex had pulled him right in and he was curled up in the sweltering heat of the beast's womb. He'd given up punching the fleshy walls after four or five swings with little sign of reaction. His dagger was gone, along with everything else with a sharp edge he carried. The druid had stripped away any means to hurt the badger as part of this sick joke.

"Damned beast," he muttered, and slapped the wall of the cavity. He immediately regretted it as droplets of thick fluid splattered his face. He was where the foxtaur's seed had gone, and that of horses, and who knew what sorts. And, he was sure now, other adventurers. The druid's lies had been too practiced and his pet's sex too ready to devour Erik. Others had been tricked, or forced to stick some portion of their body into the badger and had been sucked in.

Somehow he was not surprised then when the warm fluid dripping from the walls of the womb caused his skin to start to tingle and burn. He had been swallowed whole, just not by the beast's mouth. He wondered, briefly, if the beast was some sort of aberration or whether the druid had used magic to allow it to do this. In the end it didn't matter.

"What kind of a man feeds people to his mount's pussy," Erik complained, but there was nothing for it. Unarmed and with two tons of badger wrapped around him he wasn't getting out unless she let him. He had already felt for the opening through which he had arrived but it had puckered shut and he wasn't even sure which of the fleshy folds was the one through which he had arrived. More and more of the caustic fluid dripped down onto him and it was clear he wasn't going to get out. Oh, maybe his armor would survive to be disgorged, or the metal scales anyway. The main part of him, well, he was made of meat, and the womb might as well be a stomach.

In the darkness Erik's eyes shifted back and forth as if to see if there were any onlookers. He had never been sucked into a sex before, and he never would be again. There was no one to see him reach below the hem of his scale maille coat. It only took a moment to unbuckle his belt and slip a hand into his trousers. The warm badger juice coating everything made a decent lubricant, and who would ever know?

The rippling walls kneaded the caustic badgerjuice into every crevice of his body. His armor and the padding beneath it were long since saturated. They would offer little protection from what was about to happen. He ignored it as best he could as he stroked.

What sort of monstrosity was this thing, anyway? What sort of creature ate people with its pussy?

The womb rapidly filled with digestive juices that would consume first his seed, then the rest of him. He would have an interesting story to tell when he reached the heavens.

"Well, darn it all," the druid said as he watched Thistlefur's bulging abdomen twitch. He had surreptitiously cast Detect Magic as soon as he saw the man, since one could usually judge how threatening someone was by the amount of magical devices they carried. Bright and clear had come the glow from those dark red boots, and he'd only managed to get one off. He'd seen leather sucked into the badger's pussy before and knew that he now had only one boot of a set to play with. The other would be digested along with its owner. It wasn't the first adventurer he'd stuffed in there but it was annoying to lose magic items that way. At least he had the man's horse and the gear he'd gotten off him before Thistlefur had her fun.

Then the badger's sex twitched with with a belch of escaping air the missing boot reappeared. The druid reflexively caught the slimy thing as it bounced off his chest; it must have been pulled off the man's foot by the muscular walls of Thistlefur's vagina.

"Well, then," the druid said with a smile, and patted the badger's rump. "Good girl!"