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Chapter 23: Tell Me You Love Me

When Zaldon entered Kel's hut, he was greeted by Yzlo and his wife, as well as Aliona, Loryn, and Kira. Aliona was wretched and tearstained, and Zaldon stooped down to hold her a moment, smiling to himself when she kissed his cheek. Yzlo and his wife were more than happy to know Keeno had returned safely. Yzlo took Zaldon aside and whispered in a trembling voice, "Heal him, Zaldon!" Zaldon promised that he would, hugging Yzlo and his wife before they left. Loryn and Kira came forward next, looking just as distraught as Yzlo and his wife had. Kira had her arm around Aliona, and Zaldon realized they were taking her away with them.

"But," began Zaldon, "Aliona, you don't have to leave!"

"Zaldon, don't be a fool," said Loryn, shaking his head. "We all know why Kel is in a coma: he wants you! Do whatever you have to do to bring him back -- even if that means fucking him blind!"

Zaldon colored up to hear Loryn's words and couldn't look at anyone. He felt a strange relief when Aliona squeezed his paw and kissed it. He looked down at her and they smiled at each other.

"Do what you have to do," Aliona whispered, her thick lashes fluttering out tears. "Kel needs you so much -- more than you realize!"

Zaldon was startled, but he promised to do everything he could. Aliona seemed pleased. She smiled at Zaldon again, then let Kira lead her from the hut. But Loryn remained after, staring up at Zaldon. Zaldon felt a pang to see tears in Loryn's eyes.

"If it was up to me," Loryn said, "I'd club you over the head and never let you leave the summer village again."

Zaldon closed his eyes. "Don't make me feel any worse than I already do." He was warmed when he felt Loryn's arms around him. He opened his eyes to find Loryn clinging to him, his eyes squeezed shut, those stripes twisting over that handsome and distraught face. Zaldon held Loryn back and even kissed his mane, whispering that he would do what he could, swearing that Kel would be better in a matter of hours.

"Good," Loryn said, straightening up. Zaldon watched him go to the curtain and take up his spear. He came back to face Zaldon and smiled at him. "Zaldon, you big sexy brute, you. Go in there and give him that medicine he's been itching for." Loryn gave Zaldon a playful clap on the ass, then shouldered his spear with a fond smile and left the hut.

Zaldon took a deep breath, then moved behind the curtain and up the dark hall. He didn't need to guess which room Kel was in: he could smell Kel's sick, unwashed body, his sweaty fur. Zaldon pulled back the curtain and there was Kel, moonlight pouring in to touch that limp black body in the bed. Zaldon felt his heart sinking to see Kel so thin and weak, to see that black fur once so glossy now shabby, falling out in clumps. Tears started to his eyes, but he remembered suddenly: Kel must never know that he cared! He wiped angrily at his tears, then knelt beside the bed.

So Kel was in a coma. That was easily remedied: Zaldon placed his paw on Kel's forehead and closed his eyes. Kel coughed at once, his chest heaving as his mind was suddenly snatched from its dreams. Zaldon watched sadly as Kel's lashes fluttered weakly, as the green eyes drifted around unseeing. Zaldon cradled Kel's head in his big paw and leaned down and whispered, "Kel? Kel, I need you to wake. I need to know what's hurting you so I can fix it. Kel?"

Kel's green eyes cleared. He was awake now. He looked slowly around at Zaldon and drew in a sharp breath. Zaldon's eyes were so cold and unfeeling! Kel looked miserably away.

"So they brought you?" Kel winced to hear his own voice so hoarse and cracking.

"Yes," answered Zaldon indifferently, still cradling Kel's head. "Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. Where does it hurt?"

Kel wanted to say his heart, but Zaldon could never fix that. He stared at the opposite wall instead, thinking with a pang that those black eyes were so cold. Zaldon really was angry at him! But at least he knew Kilyan was back now, he was safe. He was going to give Kilyan a piece of his mind for this later! How dare he bring Zaldon here! How dare he!

Kel grew very still when he felt Zaldon pull back the sheets. Kel wanted to cover himself. It was embarrassing, all those black hairs sprinkled everywhere. And now his cock was bare to Zaldon's probing eyes, and he knew if Zaldon touched him again that that cock would go up just like that and he would die. Oh, he would die!

But Zaldon did touch Kel again. He placed a careful paw on Kel's chest and rotated it, closing his eyes and lifting his chin and as if he was trying to sense something. Kel saw him swallow thickly and knew suddenly that he was trying to quiet his passion too! So Zaldon wanted him even though he was angry at him? Kel didn't know why, but this made him even more dismal. He started to cough and saw Zaldon open his eyes.

"It's your lungs," Zaldon whispered, unable to hide a sad glint in his eye when he gazed down at Kel. "It hurts when you breathe, doesn't it?"

Kel didn't answer. He dragged a bitter paw over his eyes, wishing Zaldon would just go away. He'd rather lie here and be sick than have Zaldon looking down at him without a hint of compassion. They might as well have been perfect strangers!

"And you're feverish," Zaldon went on, placing a paw on Kel's forehead again.

Zaldon closed his eyes again, and Kel felt himself sinking in the sheets, felt as if something was draining from his body. He gasped as this something was sucked out of him. He heard Zaldon gasp too, and looking around, he saw Zaldon's fur glistening as if he was breaking out in a sweat. Zaldon had sucked the fever into his own body! Kel stared at him in dismay. Zaldon was shaking a little, but the fever seemed to leave him as quickly as he'd absorbed it, then he placed his paws on Kel's chest and he closed his eyes again.

"Now to fix the lungs . . ."

"No, d-don't --" Kel protested. He started coughing badly the longer Zaldon's paws remained on his chest, almost as if the coughs were being sucked out of him as well! He felt his lungs swelling, the pain receding, his body growing stronger even as Zaldon started falling forward, coughing and weak. Kel looked down and saw that Zaldon's paws were glowing with this strange power, glowing as they touched his chest. And Zaldon looked so weak now, Zaldon was coughing -- Zaldon had bags under his eyes! Feeling suddenly fit and strong, Kel wrenched Zaldon's big paws away to stop him, his green eyes bulging in his alarm. Zaldon collapsed on top of Kel, coughing and weak now, and Kel cradled him.

"Zaldon, what have you done!" Kel hissed.

"I took the sickness -- into myself --" Zaldon managed around coughs. "It will only last so long . . ." He broke down coughing and Kel held him tight, wishing those black eyes had not looked at him with such bitter hatred.

Sitting up in the bed with Zaldon cradled in his arms, Kel took Zaldon in for the first time. He was beautiful. So beautiful. But hadn't he always been? That big, muscular body and those bulging arms, that broad white chest. God, he even smelled the same! Kel closed his eyes, breathing in Zaldon's musk sadly. But he couldn't have Zaldon. Zaldon hated him. He must hide his desire, just be polite, act as if they had never even been lovers . . . Zaldon seemed to want it that way.

When it finally seemed as if the sickness had passed in Zaldon, he froze as if he had just realized he was in Kel's arms. He fumbled to hurry off of Kel, keeping his black eyes hard but looking embarrassed all the same. Kel sat miserably in the bed and watched as Zaldon's spoke as if to the wall, his big paw rubbing the back of his ears.

"The shedding should stop in a few hours and you should be able to walk around soon -- you can't now, can you? Your legs look so w-weak --" Zaldon failed to hide his emotions yet again, and this time, Kel saw.

Realization hitting him, Kel snatched Zaldon's paw as he was climbing to his feet. Zaldon looked around, startled.

"Kel --"

"You still love me, don't you!"

Zaldon blushed and his dark eyes darted everywhere, as if he was trying to look at anything except Kel.

"I love Julyan now. We're over, Kel," he said to the wall. Then the black eyes looked at Kel's, piercingly cold, and he whispered, "Isn't that what you wanted?"

Kel wasn't fooled. "No!" he growled. "I never wanted that! I only said those things because I thought it was best!"

"And you were right, Kel," said Zaldon. He raised his eyebrows frostily and tried to rise again, but Kel clung to him.

"If you don't love me anymore, then why the hell are you here!"

Zaldon bit his lip and the black eyes softened at once. "Kel, let's not do this. I came. I healed you. Now I'll go back to my life and you'll go back to yours. It's over, Kel," Zaldon said firmly. He looked Kel directly in the eye and said, "I don't love you anymore."

Kel let out a growl that startled Zaldon. He jerked Zaldon down to him by the paw and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Tell me you love me!" he whispered fiercely, squeezing his eyes shut, his forehead pressed to Zaldon's.

Kel realized with a leap of his heart that Zaldon was trembling. "It's true!" he whispered in triumph, pulling Zaldon's body to his.

They knelt together on the bed, Zaldon with his forehead resting down against Kel's. Zaldon had his eyes closed and he was trembling all over as Kel held his paws tight in his own. Kel started smoothing his paws up and down Zaldon's broad back, kissing him hard on the lips, his brows knit together in his need to hear those words.

"Say it! Tell me you love me! You love me -- you do!"

"I love you!" Zaldon burst at last, the words trembling as badly as his body. "I never loved anyone more!"

As if Zaldon's words had released something in them both, they embraced in a deep kiss. Zaldon was still trembling as he kissed Kel, and Kel felt himself trembling too, felt his body melting as those big arms held him tightly, as that big paw smoothed up his neck to curl in his mane. They fell to the sheets together and kept kissing, and when their lips parted, Kel heard Zaldon sob.

"Why are you pretending you don't care!" Kel demanded, the green eyes firing.

Zaldon buried his face in Kel's mane. "I didn't want you to get sick again, damn it! Why do you think? You're sick because of me, aren't you?"

"Oh, Zaldon, I'm sorry for the things I said -- I -- I just thought it was best if we didn't see each other again --"

"And now look at you! Why, Kel? We didn't see each other for sixteen fucking years and you didn't get sick!" Zaldon's trembling paws brushed Kel's mane back from his eyes, and Kel felt the joy wash over him to see those black eyes looking down him with that concern, that gentility he had missed for so long.

"Well, I was busy then. I was raising two children. The nest wasn't empty. But when Kilyan and Zalia left, I remembered how I always wanted to settle down, to live out the rest of my life quietly with Aliona . . . and you. And with no children to look after, I have more time than ever to be thinking of you, Zaldon, wanting you . . . I'm sorry I let myself get sick like this -- I -- I never meant to --"

"Just like you never meant to ensnare my heart," said Zaldon, pulling Kel tighter in his arms. "Just like you never meant to fall on top of me that day. But either way, I was hooked."

Kel looked up and was warmed to find Zaldon smiling at him.

"Damn you!" Zaldon whispered, kissing Kel fiercely on the head. "Always and forever, no matter who else I love, you will always have my heart. And I guess . . . there's nothing I can do to change it. Or hide it."

Kel laughed softly. "Thank god for that. For a moment I thought you really didn't love me anymore. But then I saw it in your eyes -- you looked so sad for me that I couldn't walk --"

"We'll get you walking again. In fact, we should start now. The sooner you can use your legs, the better," Zaldon said, sitting up. "Here, put your arms around my neck . . . that's it . . ."

Zaldon carefully helped Kel to stand, and Kel fell heavily against him with a groan, his knees trembling. They moved from the room and down the shadowy hall together, Zaldon guiding Kel through shaky step after shaky step.

"But where are we going?" Kel whispered, clinging tight to Zaldon.

"You reek, Kel. I'm going to bathe you."

Kel's heart leapt to hear these words and Zaldon smiled at him.

They entered the front room of the hut where the fire was roaring. The bathing basin was beside the fire as usual and fresh water was inside. Kel remembered vaguely that Aliona had been wanting to bathe him but could not carry him to the front room, of course. She was going to have Loryn or Yzlo carry Kel for her, but he had then slipped into a coma.

Zaldon helped Kel step into the basin now, and Kel sank back in the water, grateful to feel it flowing through his fur. He watched Zaldon disappear up the hall again, and when he returned, he had Kel's bed sheets, which he threw on the fire. He disappeared again, and Kel knew he was putting fresh sleeping furs down.

"Just a quick bath," Zaldon said when he returned with washcloths and soap. "And then we'll work on helping you walk."

Zaldon knelt beside the basin with a smile, rubbing the soap in the washcloth. Kel smiled back at Zaldon, drinking in his handsome face, his powerful shoulders, and he closed his eyes when those big paws started carefully massaging his chest with the washcloth.

"So you're a grandfather," Zaldon said, massaging the soap into Kel's shoulder and neck. "That must've been some comfort after having an empty nest."

Kel tilted his head back, receiving this gentle massaging with his eyes closed. "Those first months after Roan and Zane and Enya were born, yes, it was. I so busy bouncing those little pups on my knee, feeding them and caring for them beside the fire with Aliona. And Aliona and I were only too happy to do it. You know newlyweds: Kilyan was knocking on our hut every five minutes with his pups, trying to grab for a few moments alone with his wives. And Zalia did much the same."

Zaldon chuckled.

"And, god, Zane is big. Have you seen him? He'll be as tall as you and Lynny when he grows up. And he'll probably be aggressive and bossy, just like his grandfather. He already is."

Zaldon laughed softly, reflecting on Lynny's aggressive nature with a smile. "Yes, and little Roan looks so much like you and Kilyan -- only he has all these little white flecks. The boys couldn't stop staring at my Yuri."

Kel looked around. "You have a pup! But -- how?"

Zaldon laughed at Kel's confusion and didn't blame him: Arorta, Nisma, and Nasma were twice his age and besides: Zaldon liked cock and cock alone.

"Julyan and I found Yuri washed up on the beach, the poor little thing. Her mother had drowned during a storm. They were runaway slaves."

"Oh, god," said Kel, his brows knitting together.

"Yes," said Zaldon sadly. He rubbed more soap into the washcloth until it was foaming, then quietly bid Kel to sit forward and started washing his back.

"She is a moon wolf, all the way from across the sea. I've been teaching her our language and she's adjusting nicely. Julyan adores her. Calls her his little angel."

Kel smiled to himself. "How is Julyan?"

"Oh, Lavender Eyes hasn't changed a bit. You know he's been trying to make me visit you for the past seven years?"

Kel lifted his eyebrows, surprised. He had never imagined that Julyan would want that for them. It wasn't that Julyan was the jealous type, but Zaldon belonged to Julyan now. At least, he figured that was the way Julyan would have seen it. He supposed he'd been wrong.

"Why didn't you?" Kel whispered sadly.

"You know why," Zaldon said in a low voice.

"Zaldon, when you pushed me away twenty-three years ago, when you said I couldn't have you anymore, I didn't care! I came for you anyway!"

"I know, Kel," Zaldon said quietly. "But you already know I would never intrude on your life here --"

"Intrude!" Kel cried angrily. He twisted around and grabbed Zaldon's paw, peering with earnest green eyes into the dark spheres he had come to love so much. "You could never intrude on my life! Not when we love each other!"

Zaldon dropped the washcloth with a shaking paw and whispered, "Oh, Kel, I -- I've been waiting years to hear you say that! After you said you didn't want to see me anymore, I just couldn't bring myself to come here --"

"I know -- I'm sorry!" Kel whispered, wrapping his arms around Zaldon's neck. Zaldon held Kel back, and he felt a pang when Zaldon sobbed against him. His big gentle Zaldon, crying! It broke Kel's heart to hear those sobs, and he pulled back, kissing at Zaldon's tears.

"Goddamn you," Zaldon whispered, laughing. "It wasn't supposed to be this way! I was supposed to pretend I didn't love you and just go back home --"

"And now here you are in my arms."

They smiled at each other.

"Come, Kel, let me dry you off and then I'll try to get some strength back in those legs and you can rest. . . ."

Kel let Zaldon help him to stand, and leaning against Zaldon for support, he smiled warmly at the big white wolf as he toweled Kel off briskly with one of the warm furs that had been spread beside the fire. Kel saw with amusement that Zaldon was blushing when he rubbed the towel over Kel's hard thighs and very near to his cock. Kel closed his eyes and quieted his building passion, though it was very hard with Zaldon's face so near to him. His work done, Zaldon wrapped Kel in a waiting blanket and lifted him into his arms. Kel placed his arms around Zaldon's neck, smiling as he was carried back to the bedroom.

"But I thought you were going to help me with my legs," Kel said when Zaldon carefully laid him to rest in the fresh sleeping furs. Kel sank back in them, silently rejoicing that they smelled so fresh and so clean, as did the pillows. Kel looked up and realized with a skip of his heart that Zaldon was kneeling over him.

"I am," he answered, smiling. And to Kel's delight, Zaldon took Kel's thigh firmly in both paws and started massaging.

Kel closed his eyes, his brows pressed together, and he sank into the sheets, murmuring, "Oh, Zaldon . . ."

Zaldon smiled, continuing his work. He massaged each of Kel's legs up and down from the thigh to the ankle. He even paused to rotate Kel's ankles, and Kel felt the stiffness flowing out of them. Lying there groaning under the firm but soothing touch of Zaldon's big paws, Kel knew that this too was some sort of magic. He felt the strength returning to his legs, just as Zaldon had promised, and pretty soon, he could lift his leg and bend it if he wanted. But he didn't. He just lay there, pretending it wasn't working so that Zaldon would keep touching him in this delicious way. And he soon realized that Zaldon's big paws had traveled up his thigh to his balls.

Kel's eyes flew open in his surprise. Zaldon was fondling his balls, cupping them, smiling at him. He started stroking Kel's cock, slowly caressing it into the hard-on that Kel had been holding back since Zaldon first walked in his bedroom. A shudder went through Kel's body at this gentle, at this deliberate caressing, and suddenly, Zaldon's mouth closed over Kel's cock. Kel groaned. Zaldon's mouth was as gentle as his paws: softly sucking him, that tongue slurping in loving laps, and his lips closing tight around the shaft. Zaldon sucked Kel in long, slow strokes, grunting when Kel felt himself swelling thicker. And Kel had been wanting this for so long that it wasn't long before he came in Zaldon's mouth. He heard Zaldon gulping, swallowing his cum, and as he lay there breathlessly happy, Zaldon was suddenly hovering over him, smiling down at him.

"What did that have to do . . . with my legs?" panted Kel.

Zaldon grinned, "Nothing at all."

They laughed together, then Zaldon leaned down and kissed Kel on the lips. The kisses continued: on Kel's cheeks, on his eyes, and Zaldon sometimes paused to brush his nose happily in Kel's neck. Kel trembled under this affection and whispered, "Tell me you love me."

Zaldon's black eyes smiled into Kel's and that fire was there -- that hungry fire Kel had been waiting so many years to see.

"I love you!" Zaldon whispered.

Kel put his arms around Zaldon's neck, "Then make love to me!"

And Zaldon did.

Zaldon put Kel's legs on his shoulders, running his paws up and down Kel's thighs, smiling down at his lover, at this beautiful black wolf who was lying beneath him with eyes warm with love -- those green eyes that had held his heart captive for the better part of forty years! He slid his cock carefully inside and knew his was the first dick to touch Kel there in years when he gasped. Kel squirmed and bit his lip, and Zaldon started moving inside of him, feeding his cock carefully in and out. Still massaging Kel's thighs as he made love to him, Zaldon saw the green eyes looked up at him, breathless, smiling, and Zaldon knew his eyes looked much the same. Looking warmly at each other, they knew in that moment: two wolves had never been so deeply in love.