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_ September 1992 _

Tommy Ainge never thought he'd ever look forward to the beginning of the school year. But as the last few weeks of summer vacation slowly dragged on, the idea of being able to return to school was something he eagerly anticipated. Getting back with friends that he'd spent the entire summer missing was a big part of it, but more than that he couldn't wait to have the chance to leave the house each morning after being cooped up in his room for the past six weeks.

He and his friend Ryan did what they could to stay in touch, but that proved more difficult than they hoped. They were able to spend an hour or two with each other every week or so, but both of them were too nervous about being caught to take their friendship to the next level, which bothered Tommy to no end. Even fantasizing about Ryan was started to get old for Tommy; after experiencing the real thing once, it was hard to reach that same level of excitement alone. Fortunately, Ryan was entering 6th grade at the same school, so at least there was a chance that they would cross paths from time to time.

On the morning of the first day, Tommy's father made sure to reiterate to him before he left how important it was to keep his secret under wraps. "I know it's going to be tempting to tell one of your friends about this," he said. "But you can't. Even if you tell just one person, he'll tell one person, and that person will tell two people, and they'll tell five people, and pretty soon the whole town will know. Understand?"

"Yes, Dad," Tommy replied. Of course, he knew that Ryan was already in on the secret, but there was no way he was going to tell his dad about that.

"All right. Come straight home after school, OK? And give me a call when you get home. Good luck, kiddo."

"Thanks, Dad. Bye!" With that, Tommy left the house.

It was hard for Tommy not to break out into a sprint upon opening the front door. The smell of the fresh morning air hit his nostrils, and it was glorious. He briskly made his way onto the sidewalk, making his way to school, as a familiar voice rang in his ears.

"Hey, Tommy Boy!"

Tommy turned his head. About 100 yards behind him, the friends that had all been away during the summer were walking together, waving excitedly at him. It brought an immediate smile to Tommy's face, and he walked back to meet them.

"What's up, guys?" Tommy said cheerfully, giving high-fives and playful headlocks to each of them as he joined the group.

Tommy, Andy, Travis, Jose, and Justin. The five of them were all about the same age, and grew up together in the neighborhood, and for the most part were inseparable. Each of them had their own unique characteristics; Andy was the tall and skinny one, Travis was a little husky, Jose had the best tan. And right in the middle was Justin Grey, the unspoken figurehead of the bunch, the boy that Tommy had been crushing on even before Ryan had entered the picture. Whatever All-American looks Justin had before the summer break were even more striking now, as his body seemed perfectly comfortable with growing into young adulthood. The weather was still mild enough that they were all wearing T-shirts outdoors, and it was obvious to Tommy that Justin had packed on a fair amount of muscle while he was gone.

"So how's your summer been, Tommy?" Justin asked. "Anything interesting happen around here?"

"Uh... not really," Tommy stammered. "Just the usual stuff. Y'know, summer and everything."

"Right." Justin smirked. "I guess someone has to stay home while the rest of us are off having fun, right?"

Tommy smiled nervously. "I guess."

"You OK, Tommy?" Andy chimed in. "You look like you're nervous about something."

"Yeah, like you're hiding something," Jose added.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Tommy said, trying to sound like he was playing it off but obviously failing. This whole "keeping a secret" thing was turning out to be harder than he thought, especially among a group of friends who could practically finish each other's sentences.

"C'mon Tommy, spill it," Justin demanded.

"Did you meet a girl?" Travis asked.

"No..." Tommy said meekly.

"Well then, what is it?" Justin prodded.

"I... I can't tell you. It's a secret."

"Tommy," Justin said, with a little more authority in his voice, "why would you be keeping anything a secret from us? Aren't we your friends?"

"Yeah..."

"Then tell us."

Tommy was not about to let the cat out of the bag just minutes after walking out the door, but he didn't want to embarrass himself either. "It's personal, OK? Just lay off."

A harmonic chorus of "OooooOOOOOOooooooh", echoed from the other boys.

"You did meet a girl!" Travis proclaimed.

"So is she hot?" Jose asked.

"What's her name?" said Andy.

"Does she have tits yet?" Justin added.

"Shut up!" Tommy said, completely flustered.

"Hey, we're just messin' with ya, Tommy Boy." Justin rustled Tommy's hair. "If you don't want to share her with us, that's fine."

"Guys, I didn't meet a-"

"Hi Tommy!"

The boys stopped in their tracks. Tommy looked up and saw Ryan standing in front of them all, an oblivious smile on his face. "You guys going to school too?"

The awkward silence that hung in the air for several seconds was finally broken by Justin. "You know this kid, Tommy?"

Tommy cleared out the frog that was suddenly lodged in his throat. "Uh... guys, this is Ryan. He moved here during the summer."

Ryan enthusiastically waved at all of them. "Hi, Tommy's friends!"

His greeting was met with cold stares from the other boys.

"Can I walk to school with you guys?"

Tommy was about to invite him into the group, but he could feel the icy reaction that Ryan was getting from his other friends. "Uh... Ryan, maybe you should walk by yourself today."

"Aww..." Ryan groaned.

"I'm sorry, OK? We'll talk about this later."

"All right," Ryan replied dejectedly, watching as the older boys walked past him, barely acknowledging his existence.

It was a quiet, uncomfortable walk the rest of the way to school. The encounter with Ryan seemed to bring the entire mood of the group down, but Tommy had no idea what the problem was. It wasn't like them to dismiss someone so rudely like that before, even a smaller kid. He thought about bringing the subject up on the way to their first class, but couldn't find an elegant way to ask about it.

Once they arrived, the routine of the school day seemed to bring everyone out of their funk, and by lunchtime the guys were back on an even keel. His friends shared most of his classes, and it was both a blessing and a curse to know they were nearby. The only downside was that he wouldn't have a chance to meet up with Ryan any time during the day. He saw the younger boy keeping a distance but hovering around the group during the breaks in class, and the others seemed acutely aware of Ryan's presence.

"What's the problem, guys?" Tommy asked as he took a bite of his sandwich. "He's not a bad kid."

"We'll talk about this later," Justin flatly replied.

"But he's my-"

"Later," Justin repeated, staring directly into Tommy's eyes as he said it. Tommy didn't press the issue any further.

When the school day ended, Tommy visited his locker to deposit the books he'd just gotten from all of his classes. After closing the locker door, he turned around to see Justin standing right behind him, with a rather stern look on his face.

"Tommy, you got a minute? We need to talk."

"Uh... sure," Tommy replied, knowing exactly what the conversation was going to be about.

"Good. Let's go somewhere private, OK?"

They walked to a nearby boy's room, where Tommy watched curiously as Justin knocked on the doors of each of the stalls to make sure nobody was in them. When that was done, he turned back to Tommy.

"What the hell is your problem, man?" Justin asked. "What're you doing hanging out with that kid?"

"Who, Ryan?" Tommy said. "I was wondering why everyone was being a jerk to him. I know he's a little... 'out there', but he's not a bad kid or anything like that."

"No, that's not what I mean. You know who he is, right?"

Tommy shook his head slowly. "No..."

"Well if you showed up at a gathering once in a while, maybe you'd know."

"Wait, what? What's a 'gathering'? What are you talking about?"

Justin squinted at Tommy. "You don't know what a gathering is?"

"No. I have no idea what's going on."

Justin blinked his eyes a few times, his expression growing more and more confused before it finally normalized. "OK, never mind. I'm sorry. Just forget it."

"Justin, why are you acting so weird all of a sudden?"

"It's nothing. Honest. Just... stay away from that kid, OK? He's bad news. Trust me on this."

"Do you know him or something?"

"I can't say anything else, Tommy. Just trust me, all right? And don't tell him I talked to you about this, either. If this gets back to his dad..."

"What about his dad?" Tommy asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Justin sighed in frustration. "I really shouldn't be doing this," he muttered under his breath. "OK, look. Me and you are friends, right?"

"Yeah."

"We've been friends since we were both little kids, right?"

"Yeah."

"So if I ask you to keep something a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone?"

Tommy shrugged. "Yeah."

"I'm not kidding, Tommy. This could be life or death here. You need to swear to me that you won't tell anyone about this. Including your parents. You swear?"

Tommy put his hand on his heart to drive the point home. "I swear."

"All right." Justin took a deep breath in preparation. "Tommy, I'm a-"

The bathroom door swung open, and both boys' heads turned as another boy, an 8th grader who looked like he could pass for a college sophomore, came in. Justin fell silent as the boy made his way to the urinal, stopping to look at both of them as they stared wordlessly.

"What're you two staring at?" the boy asked obnoxiously.

"Nothing," Tommy replied.

"Nope, nothing at all," Justin agreed.

"Then buzz off," the 8th grader said gruffly. Both boys complied, slinking out of the bathroom.

Justin heaved a sigh of relief. "That was close. Too close. Look, Tommy, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, OK?"

Before Tommy had a chance to reply, Justin was off like a shot. Tommy could only stand there in a daze, trying to figure out just what the hell his friend was going on about.

A minute later, another familiar voice was heard. "Hi Tommy!"

Tommy snapped out of his daze and turned to see Ryan, the boy he'd just been told to stay away from, walking up to him. "Wanna walk home together?"

It caught Tommy flatfooted for a moment, but the instructions he got from Justin still rang in his head. "Uh, I can't. Sorry."

"Aww, why not?" Ryan moaned.

"Ryan, I don't think we should be friends anymore, OK? You're getting me in a lot of trouble."

The look on Ryan's face was one of surprise, and hurt. "But..."

Tommy sighed. "Just go away! Leave me alone!" He walked away from the younger boy, taking long strides so he could get out of there as soon as possible without running.

It was a few seconds before he heard a quiet whimpering behind him. He stopped and turned his head back to see Ryan standing in the same spot as before, as the boy's whimpers grew into sobs, and then full-on wails. His face was beet-red as tears streamed down the younger boy's cheeks.

His heart sank at seeing Ryan in such a state. It's not like he wanted to do it. Seeing Ryan's heart break in front of him was the very last thing he wanted to do. But he couldn't let his friends see the two of them together. He looked back for a few more seconds, then went back to walking home.

One thought echoed repeatedly in his mind.

This is going to be one crazy school year.