A Glimmer of Light in the Void:Chapter 6
So I feel like a total shallow bitch for misjudging Steve and Trevor. When Mew finally cut four way call, I was left internally cursing my luck of being forced to entertain the two stoic stick-in-the-muds and mentually fortified myself from being kicked out of the conversation loop when they both elapsed into total guy-related topics. However what I got instead well...it's would be easier to just see for yourself.
OH and before I get into that: just be aware of the fact that I can't actually understand Poketongue. After one angry outburst made by Steve: the three of us accidently discovered that the three of us could communicate telepathically if the thought was 'shouted' to one or multiple members of our little party of three.
Trevor assumes that our minor telepathy is possble because our souls/minds/whatever had to be loosely linked to make this whole dream diving thing possible.
I theorized that since I'm a fully awakened Light One back in reality, I may have previously unknown telepathy powers.
Steve's guess is that we both have no clue what we are talking about and we are just trying to give him a headache to mess with his focus so one of us can finally win a match on the twin's SSB Brawl game that they had brought with them for entertainment.
Considering that Trevor and I both simultaneously winced at Steve's guess: the most correct theory was pretty obvious. After watching poor Yoshi getting shot into the stratosphere for the 1,812 time by another Falcon punch: I finally decided to call it quits and relent under the nurses continuous badgering to take my daily meds. "Ugh! I thought Mew told you guys not to use the twins AI"
Trevor chuckled briefly before replying . "We aren't using them. You're just making yourself too much a target." Trevor's 'voice' volume that was nearly inaudible thanks to just how much focus he was using to avoid Steve's jabs and fiery kicks while launching careful counterattacks and punishers with Lucas's more range focused kit. How the crafty bastard managed to do anything under Steve's relentless up-in-your-face assault is beyond me
"And you're just bad." snickered Steve as he flashed a sneer at me. The pair of them had the nerve to pause the game to high five before diving right back in as if nothing happened. I'll admit I was contemplating testing what would happen if I spontaneously decided to murder the pair of them or just be the good girl that seethes silently while applying an ice pack to the burn she had just received. In the end I just decided watch the innocent game evolve into a heated pissing contest when both remaining players simultaneously took off their kiddy gloves.
" Then you guy's admit to having played the game enough to know it's mechanics exceedingly well and have damn good muscle memory despite not even using your own bodies?" In response both adults dropped their controllers as if burned, there was a tiny bit of irony in the fact that this reaction was in the middle of the deciding aerial battle that would decide to whom goes the spoils. The result being both characters free falling to the point of no return and ending the match in a draw.
"Don't. Tell. Mew." both ordered me with tones that oozed a malicious vibe in the most dead serious faces I've ever seen those bodies make.
"We wouldn't hear the end of it since we refused to play the video games we bought for her."Steve exclaimed before shooting a glance towards Trevor while they set up the next match."Which reminds me: we still have to send those back and retrieve ours from underneath the floorboards and set them up when we get back."
"I already turned them in the day before we left.... Don't remember what you were doing at the time. Wait...didn't you wrap them up in plastic bags to protect them from water damage?"Obviously sounding confused over Steve's reply.
A random fact that was quickly learned with spending only a bit of time with the pair was that Trevor was very easy to read even though the guy seemed incabable of facial movements other than the occasional twitch and unreadable eyes. You just needed to listen instead of watching for visual cues. Was probably the reason the guy stayed silent most of the time.
Now Steve looked very confused "Um no...? It's not like it's gonna rain underneath the house or something."
Distrust now worming it's way into his tone: Trevor's next words came out slow as if he was trying to step around a verbal mine feild minefield "Sorry... but now I have to ask a really stupid question: Was that just a really bad punch-line or are you actually serious?"
Steve scoffed, now seeming just as angry as he was amused "I was being serious actually. But I have a feeling you're now calling me dumb. I knew that I smelt a tussle brewing when I woke up this morning."
(Kaboom!)
Apparently Steve wasn't kidding since he did in fact get up to stretch for a bit, a lot of focus towards xyrs arms and shoulders. Meanwhile poor Trevor slowly inching away from Steve with an expression that just about screamed "I can't tell if he's joking" and to me "Help!"
Ok so there appears to be an exception to the rule I stated about Trevor earlier. What? I can't get stuff wrong now and again? Well you can bite me than!
I pretended not to notice anything and said what I was gonna say anyway "Wait...so despite living with you guys for weeks on end: Mew doesn't know you two are secretly dorky gamers that could most likely make any child and adult cry with your skills?"
"Well not really gamers per say since we only play a few games somewhat obsessively-
"-Brawl just happens to be one of them-"
"and we were trying to bore her away and playing with her would have done the opposite-
-We have our tough guy image to consider!"
"Beer!"
"Sports!"
"Fast Cars!"
"Dick and Ass!"
"Umm Steve? I think you should have left that part out. I'm pretty sure that refraining from saying anything vulgar in front of children is on page 1 of any new to parenting book." Trevor's voice came out a little more than a stuttering auidble whisper as an adorable blush overcame his face that was so potent that I swear that steam came out of his ears and pores. Apparently the guy was embarrassed easy.
Saving that little tid-bit of info for future usage.
Steve didn't seem to notice Trevor's behavior... or just paid it no mind. No idea. Heck it was probably as simple that xe was used to it. Does it even matter? "We are not- Oh yeah! We are kinda parents now aren't we. Now THAT is the weirdest part of our whole situation. I'm not happy with our first being a teenager... makes me feel like an old fart and we haven't even been with the girl a full day yet." Steve managed to sigh and continue on before anyone could get a word in "Tre. Tre. Tre-" "Each 'Tre' was accompanied by a disappointed head shake "-Trust me when I say this: This girl doesn't have a innocent bone in her body."
I eventually folded under the constant straight faced duo death beam that was STILL being trained on me, wasn't even looking at them anymore and could somehow still sense them glaring at me. "Ok OK OKAY I get the point: mum's the word." Had long since broken down from the sheer silliness from every broken conversations and was trying to regain the ability to breathe from laughing so hard.
It's been like this ever since Mew left. Honestly I can't figure out if this was the two's actual personality shining through their stoic masks or if they were just acting to get on my good side.
"Thank you" the pair said as they turned back towards the game. Just as the pair of them finished swapping of characters and stages a brown-ish cream colored blur burst into the room and straight into my chest and arms: consequently knocking the air out of my lungs.
"H-Hamleck-" I wheezed while the little coon did his best to push himself into my stomach and a tear apart my favorite pajama shirt. On the bright side, at least I was sitting on the bed when Hamleck slammed into my stomach so at least I fell on a pillow when I blacked out for a few seconds. By the time I came to: Hamleck was a shivering lump underneath my shirt.
I swear if there is so much one measly tear on Tweety Bird's face imma go all Granny on this coon.
I was about to ask for an explanation of what was going on when the sound of hurrying footsteps and prepubescent laughter met my ears. Before I could say "Ah" the next thing I know a blur in my perifial flew past my bed and into the closet with slam and a click. My new unanswered question was answered by Steve.
"Hm? What in the-? Where did Trevor go? He was here literally a second ago" The shivering lump underneath my shirt must have realized what a poor hiding place it was using. In response to this realization Hamleck flung himself to floor and immediately began scratching, howling, and whimpering at the closed closet door: obviously wanting in. But to the coon's dismay the muffled "Min" must have been a "No" since the poor Zigzaggoon's anguished cries and scratching became even more feverish.
Sadly by now it was much too late for the poor bastard since the hurried footsteps and laughter's owners chose this moment to let themselves into my room. I turned to face the group of 5-9 year old monsters whose gazes were scanning my room for their prey.
Putting on my best mommy face I put on my best mommy face (which by the way is really hard to do with a respirator) "Hadn't I already repeatedly told you guys to knock before coming in? I mean c'mon what if I was buck- naked?! Trust me that isn't a sight that you wanna see" The hive mind of 13-14 kids decided that a simple giggle and nothing more would be the most appropriate response to my 'stern' talking to. In the end my serious poker face was no match for the adorable sound so I ended up rolling my eyes with a stupid grin written on my face. "So how can I help you rugrats today?"
A little 7 year old boy (whose name I forgot) was the first one that excitedly explained over-exaggerated imaginative mis-adventures they were having with Lucky. This adventures had something to do with vanquishing bad guys (doctors, nurses, and security who saw a while animal roaming the hallway and decided to do something about it before getting outsmarted by the sly coon), crossing The Maze unscathed (the name the children gave the hospital's various of confusing corridors) Sneaking into the kitchens to nab a few bites before fleeing in terror when caught. You know; the usual kid stuff.
Don't be fooled into thinking that Hamleck is a Robin Hood in coon's clothing. In all actuality Hamleck probably stopped to entertain just a few kids before the mob ambushed and overwhelmed him to the point that he had to make a tactical retreat. Which of course meant that he had to also to use his wits to avoid the various of human's and Pokémon that tried to get their hands on him.
Then again I don't really know the full details admittedly because half my attention was elsewhere that wasn't on the 6 year old girl named Rachel who had picked up the tale and was trying to tell me about the adorable and mischievous tricks Hamleck had performed before and during Hamleck's outlaw run.
A little redhead girl about the age of 5 who went by the name Abby and was currently fighting another dark-haired girl (whose name I didn't know off the top of my head) for the right to cuddle with Steve/Amber. To Steve's credit xe somehow knew the two ultimate truths when dealing with toddlers despite not ever having any of his own. The first was that there is no escape for an animal (especially small ones) aside from harming the child; since, everyone knows if a foul deed such as that is ever committed: a angry mama bear will suddenly appear out of nowhere to annihilate anyone foolish enough to hurt their cub.
The second fact was that toddlers are easily shocked stupid over the smallest of gestures. Deciding to manipulate only one of these facts: Steve used one of the twins signature fireworks to distract the girl trying to yank xyrs body out of Abby's grip while simultaneously giving Abby's cheek an adorable nuzzle. While the two were squealing with delight Steve used this opportunity to scamper out of the room into the hallway: giggling mischievously along the way as if to taunt the 7 or so tots that made chase.
Scratch what I said earlier: I was very impressed with Steve's wit.
At that moment my full attention was suddenly returned to my own group when another boy around the age of 9 asked the inevitable question. "So where's Lucky?"
"Uhhh-" I began while trying to think of something smart to say in order to save Hamleck from being devoured by a pack of wolves. At that same moment 7 year old boy who had been the first to speak up exclaimed "Hey! He's under the bed." The kids cheered with triumph as they advanced towards the bed which immediatly sent my mind reeling and heart racing as Hameleck's howl of terror prodded that damn hero's complex.
"HEY uhh- Oh! Do you guys want to see a show today?" It was as if I had shouted "Red light!" since every tiny body froze mid-movement. Just when I feared that I broke them, many loud "YES!"'s were heard as the remaining 10 kids cramming themselves into my room surrounded me like a eager mob out for blood.
A sigh of releif could barely be heard from underneath my bed.
Had to say I was very surprised at their reaction until a sudden realization hit me. "Huh...now that I think about it, it has been nearly forever since we've preformed."
"It has been forever." was the grumbled reply from the peanut gallery.
"Well we can't have a show right this minute; since it will take a couple minutes to get everything set up and get these knuckle heads all prettied up for show time. Plus it's almost dinner time and I don't think anyone wants a repeat of The Great Grilling of 2014."
Everyone shivered in remembrance of the victims of the rage demonstrated by their own parents when we all accidently missed meal time and every parent thought their kids were kidnapped by some Pied Piper. This disastrous event happened all because no one thought to check the stage area: the always empty 4 man hospital room usually reserved for coma patients but I had taken to use it for my shows since it's the only private place big enough and out of the way of the workers of the hospital.
Ever since that day I've scheduled shows after meal/med time and had each kid give me a 'ticket'; basically a field trip slip with just the parent's signature. I know, I know: I'm paranoid. But is it paranoia when that simple slip of paper has saved me from countless misunderstanding fueled wraiths of even more paranoid and overprotective parents?
The answer is heck nope!
"Anyway get your slips and meet me at the staging area in 60 minutes on the dot. Make note that those that attend get to see a brand new show!" The faked over exaggerated inflection in my voice almost made me wince with how bad an attempt it was. Turns out I didn't even need to fake excitement or get up to shoo the kids once they heard those magic words since they were gone so fast I'm surprised they didn't leave smoky outlines.
A moment later I heard the tell-tale sound of a door creaking open.
"For someone that claims not to be the most imaginative girl: you sure dabble a lot in various of art related hobbies" My body leapt with a start at the sound of that 'voice' coming from everywhere and no where; which freaked me the fuck out until I finally tilted my head enough to spot Steve's head sticking out of the easily removable ceiling tiles near the rightmost corner of my room.
"Someone should tie a bell on you" I growled, good mood ruined and now glaring venomously at the Plusle who appeared very pleased with xemself.
In my peripheral part of my vision on my opposite side I spotted Trevor and Hamleck cautiously coming out of their hiding spots "I was about to say that" Trevor grumbled while shoving away Hamleck whose greeting of sniffing and nuzzling against Trevor must have been way too friendly for the blue mouse/human's taste.
I ignored them and responded with a short amused guffaw."Before I make my obligated comment back first tell me: how in the world did you get up there and return here so quickly with seven little girls chasing you?"
A small grin flickered into life on Steve's face before dying to make way for an uncaring expression and posture while the Plusle took a moment to examine xyrs non-existent nails "Oh it was nothing really. Just used the standard sorcery and mind games anyone with my talents of my caliber would use to escape that situation."
"You sprinted into the men's restroom and used various of objects to climb into the ceiling." Trevor's matter-fact-tone hit us both with a sledge hammer of "Duh" The force of the blow almost made Steve lose his footing, which would have been really bad at that height; even with already being in a hospital with highly trained specialist.
"S-shut up you buzz kill!" Trevor's only response to Steve's fury was a light chuckle.
As if to change the subject Steve's gaze focused on me. "I believe the deal was that I would share and then you would defend yourself from being called out as a lying fibberpants?"
I couldn't help but laugh stupidly at their back and forths before shrugging as I replied to Steve's question "Technically I didn't lie nor have I ever said that I didn't enjoy dabbling in artsy outlets. In fact I have more than the average person it. You name it and I've most likely dabbled a bit in it and enjoyed it ...except reading and writing" I cursed and honked a loogie to the floor as if suddenly tasting something vile "that shit can just burn for all I care... which is why chorography is always a bitch and a half"
During my monologue I noticed Steve eying the floor and its surroundings with calculating stare: I decided to give xem a helping hand. Managed to fit the nearly weightless ceiling tile back into it's designated place with the other hand that wasn't holding the small Plusle while I was at it. All the while without managing pausing in my explanation. "What I meant when I said that is that I'm no good at birthing new ideas. The full extent of my artistic prowess is to recycle other older artist's ideas, styles, and designs ,etc while giving them a more modernized feel with my own kind of spin on things. Basically a fan fiction. A very bad one."
Steve was cracking up, probably amused that I got defensive over such a casual subject "That still sounds like artistic talent to me. The fact that you have so many outlets is pretty damn staggering kid."
"Thanks for the random complements lady killer but... if you call me kid again: we'll find out if it's possible for you to fly in my dream land." The bit of venom that I meant to underline with my tone came out a lot greater in quantity and potent than originally planned: but I chalked that off as the sudden tiredness and hunger that I was now feeling making me a bit grumpy.
Hmm maybe I'll take a short nap after I get everything set up? Odd... I can't seem to remember if I have enough time for a nap. Oh well, I guess I'll grab a coffee instead of a nap to be on the safe side.
A nervous laugh drifted from Steve's throat as I carried xem passed the windows on the way to the closet that contained my various of stuffs, junk, and clothes; but for now it was just the container that held the costumes, props, and other great kind of supplies. "Noted...Is that-?"
"Yes. Yes it is my little princess." I wasn't even bothering trying to smother the evil snicker that came after this statement.
"No. absolutly not gonna fucking happen ever!" For once I was thankful of the twin's duel mischievous natures because it gave me the practice needed to hold Steve's squirming body even with left my arm convulsing from the electrical currently being shot through it. Meanwhile my right arm was reaching for the most girly-est, frilly pink dress you ever did see.
I swear that revenge will never again look as pretty as this.
As always I took a moment to admire the cherished object and think back to how expensive the silk was and how long it took me and my Mom to painstakingly sew the tiny multicolored flowers into the arangement of one big flower. Simplistic and probably overused in design but the simplicity was just a part of it's charm as well as the love that radiated off of every stitch. I loved this thing so damn much that it's probably mere child's play to recreate it inside my head.
It's too bad that the very sight of this dress violently tore open many of the healing cuts, slashes, stabs, and gouges that lay waste to my soul.
My responding laugh sounded a bit hollow even to me; hopefully I was fast enough in my reply that it went by unnoticed "Don't be such a little bitch. Just pretend that it's one really large shirt that is too big for your body"
I don't think anything that I said was heard though.
Each one of the Plusle's words seemed more frantic and panic filled then the last as if that was possible "Nope-Nuh-uh-NO-NO-NO- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
...
Before any mental scaring could occur however a sneeze alerted the trio to a presence above their heads. To their surprise a familiar pink feline was levitating above their heads. "S'cuse me? Huh that's odd, didn't even know it was possible for astral projections to sneeze. Of course my luck deemed it necessary to ruin this moment for me"
All three of the trio glance simultaneously at the still open doorway that held the always busy hospital lobby. Seeing the expressions of panic and horror Mew waved a dismissive hand "I'm invisible to everyone but you guys. But some privacy would be nice." Before anyone could move the open door was seemingly nudged closed by a gentle hand with little more than the soft click of the lock being flipped into place.
Mew's gaze shifted to the trio staring at her as if they were still processing what they were seeing. Mew of course did the most logical thing and decided to jump started their systems back with kisses and hugs for each of her lovely friends. Even managed to smooch Trevor right on lips for at least 10 full seconds before the mouse finally snapped out of it and registered the lip lock. Immediately Trevor began blasting the cat with blast of electricity; something that Mew didn't feel beyond a tingle (no matter how much Trevor amped up the juice) while the kitten Pokémon cheerily shouted "Sup nerds!?"
The first person to fall under Mew's headlights was poor Steve who made scorch marks during his sprint to hide behind Jayne "Babycakes a little fyi: you would really rock that dress both here and IRL. Just saying there's some food for thought love. Lovely design by the way Jayne, remind me to call you if I'm ever overcome with the need to wear clothes.
Jayne and Steve transformed into a jabbering stuttering gibberish mess. Meanwhile Trevor made a lunge for Mew's throat; but of course was easily dodged when Mew fell backward as if falling onto a bed only she could see floating mid-air with a long yawn. As a result of this action Trevor slammed face first into the wall that was behind Mew and embarked on a one way trip into dreamland.
Steve only had time to register the syringe hovering behind Trevor's neck before the syringe broke the skin on xyrs own neck.
"Oh yeah I forgot! Jayne turn around, close your eyes, and don't open them until I say so."
Still surprised stupid Jayne could only manage a timid reply of "W-why?"
"Weeeeeeeell spirits are kinda similar to human babies in the aspect they don't wear clothes when they first come out."
"Eeeeeep!"
Steve heard the words that were being spoken but couldn't seem to comprehend them. Was too busy fighting the sudden feeling of vertigo that was causing his vision to spin faster than any Hitmontop's Rapid Spin. In fact the more Steve seem to fight the spinning sensation: the faster and harder the spinning became.
Feeling the vomit beginning to rise in the back of his throat: Steve looked down only to discover that his body had become a living breathing top floating about 3 feet of the floor. Faster, Faster, Faster Steve spun until the Plusle's body had seemingly lost all of its shape besides being a small cream and red twister of solid color. Steve assumed the same thing was happening to the unconscious Trevor.
Lucky bastard.
Just when Steve thought xe could take no more without something physically or mentally breaking: the spinning suddenly stopped. In it's place was the dizzy aftereffects and the feeling of becoming suddenly very vulnerable. There was another strange sensation that Steve couldn't put his finger on...felt almost like he was flyi-
SMACK THUD
Something fleshy halted Steve's few moments of being airborne. In a odd wild moment of lucidly Steve smelt Trevor's scent. Not that damn Minun's musky rubbery smell, but the actual natural scent that Trevor himself carried that immediately brought the images of a forest of maple trees or syrupy pancakes. Steve gripped onto this smell with a vice grip because it was calming, helping him regain lucidy, and made him feel less like a person being thrown into a reverse-blender on its highest setting.
"Poof!...hmm not bad. You can look now JJ" When I heard Mew's statement: I hesitantly opened my eyes.
Immediately my eyes roamed the room until they locked on the men lying in tangled heap on the floor in front of main doorway of the room. Curiosity was rudely prodding one of my kidneys as it whispered the reminder that I hadn't gotten a good look of my soon-to-be-caretakers. Admittedly during that time I was too distracted with embarrassment , shyness, and anger during the first meeting to get a proper look that was one of observation and not distorted from teenage hormone induced lust and fantasy:
The first guy -that I knew without a doubt was Steve- looked to be your average-joe sort of a guy. Classic red head medium length. Caucasian of being a primary Scottish in decent. Seemed to be about 5'8-6'0 feet tall that was seemed filled out rather well. The guy's arms and legs seemed be filled to the brim with 100% muscle that looked like it could rip clean through the black suit-and-tie that Mew had apparently donned on him seconds before if he flexed just the right way...kinda felt pity for the poor fabric.
Steve must be a man of my own heart because even being a few paces away I could see his muscle gut trying to escape his shirt.. Wasn't like he was obese or anything (if I were to guess like 90% of it was pure muscle) It's just even if you have the slightest 'fluff' it's a pain in the ass to cover all of it with a shirt that fits your torso perfectly. Besides even if he was technically beefy enough to be called obese or something else similarly stupid: I had immense respect for people with a healthy appetites. On another note -but still kind of related to my latest point-; It was thanks to the gut poking out of Steve's shirt that I was able to piece together that this guy hadn't ever heard of the device called a razor.
One thing about Steve that fascinated me was just how huge the neck was. Two baseball gloves wouldn't be able to wrap all the way around the dude's neck it had that much girth! What I thought was tattoos of spider webs at first glance was actually a large series of visible veins criss-crossing like highways on the guy's neck. Besides having a square jaw-line sharp enough to cut through solid bricks: the rest of his features were cookie cutter. The guy was oddly very clean shaven in the facial and neck area despite the glimpse that I got of the forest growing on the rest of his body.
Poor Bud would be drooling if he recieved the same eyeful that I was getting; Steve fit his type to a T.
The second guy was the reason I knew the first guy was Steve since I remembered that Trevor was the largest of the two but... apparently forgotten how massive the size difference was! I'm not just talking about height wise either. When I say this guy was built I mean he was BUILT like brick house. I could almost clearly make out the distinct muscle groups through his clothing; Trevor was that cut. Not an ounce of fat on the fucker! Stand this guy next to the Incredible Hulk, shave a inch or two of muscle mass off the Hulk then you will have an exact match. I could almost hear the fabric of his penguin suit screaming for mercy and the guy hadn't even moved yet!
I don't see why I didn't noticed all that during the first meeting or had somehow managed to forgot about it. I blame the fact that Trevor was trapped in a Minun's body for a week and that his current personality didn't match his container. There was just something about his personality that made the giant shrink 10x smaller then he physically was; as if he just wanted to become part of the scenery and would be happy to move through life with his head down.
Still it was amazing that I had picked a fight with this guy without a second thought! I'm now regretting laughing when Steve and Mew made him the butt of so many jokes and tricks.
Anyway besides the features that bitch smack you in the face with obviousness: the rest of the guy's features seemed bland in comparison. Race seemed to be a mix of Caucasian and African American or maybe Hispanic; was never that great at distinguishing races so I don't know for sure.
Skin was a soft caramel brown color. Black hair that was cut military style. Pronounced round jaw with round head whose size strangely matched the dude's body; which is so unlike the body builder's that you sometimes see on TV. If it wasn't for the Trevor's face consuming beard he would be what's commonly referred to as 'baby faced'. A look that would usually be a turn off for me but Trevor pulled off the 'look' extremely well; if anything the 'flaw' made him even more handsome and a touch bit innocent. With those features combined Trevor managed to look approachable and intimidating all at once: something that I had never seen before. I honestly get why Mew won't stop flirting with the guy since drop dead gorgeous didn't even begin to describe the Adonis in front of me.
Made Dr. Wisecraft look like a sissy.
Mew's chuckle startled me back into reality before I heard her whisper into my ear: "Just thought I would let you know that you're staring like a hungry Munchlax"
"W-was n-not!"I nearly shouted. Don't even know why I bothered saying anything even hinting at denial since it was previously unknown to me that my mouth was hanging open just a bit until Mew had closed it with her tiny paw. There wasn't any drool or anything; but the fact that I was caught with my hand in the forbidden cookie jar made me explode with embarrassment. The bitch had the nerve to shoot me a motherly smile as if I was being an adorable hungry little kid just drooling during mealtime.
Not even a moment after this Mew turned to face the duo and started spewing the most random thing in the most authoritative, serious voice that I'd ever heard come out of her mouth. "The pimply pimp purchased a pack of potpourri pretentious petticoats for his hoes."
The very moment the last word was uttered: a long white thread snaked it's way out of the men's chest and began to wrap around the unmoving duo. The thread's work was so quick that it was almost violent the way it wrapped around the -at first- unmoving pair. When the thread had submerged them both up to the belly button, the man whom Jayne remembered was Steve sat bolt up-right and then began thrashing tearing at the thread with his hands in a blind panic.
The poor guy looked so terrified that I felt truckloads of empathetic pity since I had been the same exact position as him before. I whacked my brain for some tips but I could only come up one "Steve just let it happen, the cocoon just becomes tighter the more you fight the process."
Apparently Steve was still responsive despite the panic but before he could say a word the thread had started it's first layer around his mouth, all i heard was something muffled and incoherent. Since Steve couldn't communicate with words, he used the only other thing available: the sheer amount of terror and fury in his eyes was so potent that I had to fight a sudden urge to flee screaming out of the room. Instead of that however I grit my teeth and looked away : immediately I felt like the biggest pile of shit ever created in this universe.
Two guesses on Mew's reaction.
I cleared my throat to catch Mew's attention but she was too busy rolling on the floor laughing to hear me. With the second throat clear however Mew's laughter shifted to muffled giggling as if she was trying to stop but failing badly at it. Mew was giggling so hard that she couldn't get out a word and her eyes that were tearing up a bit, but still somehow she managed to communicate a questioning gaze before being consumed in her seemingly uncontrollable laughter again.
I shook my head, accepting the reality that Mew was too worked up to give me her full attention. That accomplished: I decided that I would take the chance of repeating myself and said as loud as I could without outright yelling "Shouldn't you have...I don't know... warned them about the details to what you were planning? I mean the whole cocoon thing, and of the fact that it takes about a week of the body being in a state of complete and utter vulnerability to become a Light One? They are probably freaking the fuck out right about now."
Immediately the Mew's amusement died as if it never existed "That heinous language is befitting a lady dear" Mew was staring at me with a utterly serious expression, after about 10 seconds a hollow laugh tumbles awkwardly past Mew's lips before she says "That's what Cresselia would have said if she were here...that was a joke that failed apparently. If you knew me then you would know I really don't give a fuck what words you use JJ." Before I can repeat my question and not missing a beat Mew suddenly makes a pffffffffft noise with her mouth and continues talking "And miss the opportunity to see the look on their faces before and after the changes to their bodies? Hell to the no gurl! You should know me better than at least that Jayne."
I tried not to grin during my reply but failed miserably "That and you're still mad about being the butt of most of their jokes a few hours ago right?"
"Aww I guess the cat's out of the bag. See, I don't get why they don't ever expect retribution for continuously dissing AND basically treating me like skunk that's wandered into their garage. This poor pussy cat may never know. Learn from their mistakes JJ"
"Already on it." I gave the feline I was now scared of a affirmitive thumbs up and a friendly wink.
" No problamo. See you're already learning from them! I knew I made the right decision making them your adoptive parents. "
"Something tells me I'm going to be the one doing most of the babysitting." I took a moment to sigh before continuing "How did the human race survive when our best men and women have the minds of idiotic children."
"That's funny, I've been asking myself the very same question for centuries!" Mew like usual once again began laughing at something that really wasn't all that funny.
We had only been left alone for a few minutes when I figured out that something foul was coming. How did I know? Simple: Mew was nervous.
Let me repeat myself for a moment: _ MEW _ was nervous about something.
Despite Mew adamantly denying something being wrong: Mew was currently mimicking a house cat in a hostile alien environment. Every follicle of hair standing in attention, hissing under her breath, the whole nine yards. Heck I'm pretty damn sure her pupil's transformed into slits (something I didn't even know was possible for her to do and was creepy to the fullest extent of the 9 levels of hell).
Obviously saying Mew was extremely nervous and on edge was the understatement of the century.
Meanwhile I was trying my damndest not to throttle poor Mew out of the mind numbing terror that was consuming every nook and cranny of my consciousness. Before I could continue my persistent badgering however a earth shattering earthquake picked up my 178 pound ass like a rag doll and slammed me into the only wall that held any windows; luckily they didn't break and impale me but still:
Oww?!
"Mew what the fuck is going on!?" I shouted as I tried and failed to grab onto something. anything that could keep me anchored long enough for me to gain my vertigo back, avoid throwing up, and move away from the windows before they actually did break to impale me.
But sadly that just wasn't in the cards today.
A quick glance at Mew revealed to me a suddenly bashful looking floating feline kicking an imaginary pebble as she said a barely audible "Noooothing"
As if on cue the windows actually did shatter showering me in a rainstorm of sharp glass and wind. But before the glass could make contact a pinkish bubble like barrier blocked the worst of it.
"MEW!?"
The bitch had the nerve to sigh exasperatedly at me as if I was totally overreacting to a slight rocking of the boat before answering me. "You know how in whatever outlet you view horror stories in -whether it be book or movie form- most ever single one have many facts in common?" I would have shot Mew a glance that would tell her that she lost me but that didn't seem to need to since she kept going without a single pause. Just the opposite in fact since the suddenly bashful pink cat began to talk faster and faster with every word that escaped her lips as if that would lessen the blow of the terrible news she was stalling in telling me about. "For example when more than one soul inhabits a single body: those two souls battle for supremacy over the right to pilot that body?."
Don't know why that last bit was phrased in a question but I obeintly rolled with it just hop-no- praying that Mew was going somewhere with this. "Yeah but I don't see how that's got to do with anything especially when Trevor and Steve can seemingly inhabit my body without a problem."
By now cracks were splintering all over the place to the point where Mew was forced to widen the shield I was surrounded in to make room for herself plus the two cocoons that were still occasionally wiggling on the floor. Seeing where my gaze was and my mounting panic Mew turn my head so that I was face to face with her stupid grinning muzzle ;as if to tell me without actually saying 'Don't worry about it we'll be fine'.
Bitch is crazy if she expected me to naively and ignorantly put my blind faith in her.
Took a moment of this awkward staring contest for Mew to continue "Trevor's and Steve's souls are not actually here. Just a molecule of them that just so happens to give them awareness and allows them to react with this environment; meaning -like you- they are intangible as a dream."
I interrupted with a groan that would put even death rattles to shame "Get me out of this sci-fi novel please? Before my head explodes." Mew laughed at my response even though I wasn't joking.
After that little moment Mew's expression transitioned into almost a motherly kind of tender as if she was a parent about to give a toddler the 'Your pet just died speech'. This did nothing to qualm my the knots being twisted in my stomach, accomplished the opposite in fact. "You know how I said that I would limit my...let's just call it... pressure shall we? -before I came here?" Before I could say anything Mew continued "With mortals that shit is easy as reshaping wet clay. But for us Legendaries it's literally impossible. From what I'm told by the Ice Queen: it was like trying to slice into Titatanium alloy with plastic. Lucky us right?" Mew laughed again briefly before quickly sobering. "Which means you got all of my awesomeness in your tiny little body. Which is a honor really."
I took a moment to digest this little tidbit till I finally replied "But what does all of that mean to me? " I was more confused than terrified at this point even when the floor finally broke away to reveal that we were floating on nothing in every sense of the word.
"I have three sets of bad news going from bad to worser ."
"Worser isn't even a word" I found myself mumbling like a three year old brat. A bad poorly timed grammar correction that was brought about into existence by the temporary burst of insanity. Something that I blame fully on the seemingly hurricane like wall of what appeared to be dark energy coming at the four of us from all possible all directions. Our incoming box was moving in the same speed as the world's fastest train, that is if my rough estimate on how fast it was going was correct. Sad thing was that we only had about 4-6 city blocks worth of distance separating us from the deadly looking walls.
Mew didn't seem to be paying this new threat any mind even though she was staring right at it. So I guess that's what stopped me from having a panic induced asthma attack.
Barely.
Mew responded to my little quip by rolling her eyes before replying "Yeah well... it is now. Anyway since we kinda only have two minutes until Darkrai's energy destroys our little bubble. During that time I'm gonna explain everything simply and quickly as possible. o don't you dare interrupt me like Steve and Trevor have a tendency to do, you hear me?."
"Is that why-" My brain thankfully intervened to flag me down before I wasted my breath in asking such an obviously dumb question in such a time sensitive crisis "Never mind! Aright I'm picking up what you're putting down, go!"
"I'm gonna teleport you three out of here so your body doesn't implode like and overflowing water balloon-"
Did Mew even know just how horrifying that piece of little imagery was!? My lungs seemed to seize up as the panic induced asthma attack finally overtook me loud enough to the point that Mew had to scream in order to be heard. The detached insane part of me laughed out loud at the fact Mew had the foresight to spawn a digital timer so that I/we would know we had a minute and thirty seconds until...whatever the fuck happens if we all get absorbed into that dark energy.
"-Which means I'm gonna act as a place holder to keep your body from decomposing without a sentient soul inhabiting it and fight the battle that was way out of your league from the get-go without shattering your sanity into a thousand pieces...no offence but all mortals are just that fragile. AHHH TANGENTS OVERPOWERED!-
A minute left
"-In the meantime a old friend of mine is gonna help keep your soul concealed, anchored to this plane, and safe from the Hell Hounds that are gonna be all over your ass like virgin in a pit full blue balled sexual deviants and predators on a Tuesday-"
Seriously Mew's imagery would be impressively hilarious if I wasn't A)terrifeid out of my mind at my new grim looking situation and B) If the imagery Mew was using didn't make the situation 10x worse.
10 seconds left, and judging from the fact that my ears may have exploded by the rumble and roars the mass was bellowing: probably not even that. Wouldn't know because I closed my eyes a long time ago.
With my literally seconds away from ending and my filter and brain currently on vacation together: I was running completly on impulses and right now those impulses were telling me to ask a really stupid question "ALL THIS STUPIDIDY BECAUSE NO ONE WANTED TO WAIT A YEAR AND YOU WANTED TO HELP!?"
Mew laughed "BEING IMPULSIVE AND CARING ABOUT YOU GURL APPEARS TO BE A TERRIBLE COMBINATION"
"I HATE-"The reason I stopped speaking and leapt out of my skin from sheer fright were all linked to a single tender pressure against my lips. Reflex slapped my eyes open to see the Legendary pink feline dubbed Mew kissing me full on the lips while our very lives hung in the balance.
I hereby decree that I will never be shocked stupid again. There is just no way to beat THAT!
Before my brain could even finishing processing the lip lock: my sight was completely overwhelmed by a bright light. A moment later my senses and vertigo fell face first into a brutal slaughterhouse full of stimuli. I was still reeling Mew's kiss and and bright light so badly; I could only manage to process hospital sounds and smells, the fact I was floating over my own body and a mass of people-shaped vague outlines: that I never even felt the four tendrils made entirely out of cloth and something papery latch onto all of my limbs until it was already yanking backward at breakneck speeds.
The force of the snap pulling me towards a yellow-ish (maybe gold?) person shaped object that I'm sure I left a vapor trail. Didn't even have enough time to even think about screaming as whatever had me opened up like some kind of sentient door which held nothing but a gaping maw of an expansive pit made entirely out of the blackest of black darkness.
A void that was only interrupted by the tiniest glimmer of light in the distance. A glimmer of light that that I was currently being so gently, and tortuously slow that I wanted to scream with impatient frustration. Would take eons at this rate...
For some reason during all of -what I assumed at the time was my death- I didn't feel a tiniest hint of fear. Just a mix of over-whelming sense of tranquil peace-like calm, acceptance, and general whatever-ness.
That is until I crossed the entry-way of the sentient door: then I felt a all consuming warmth and...well it's tough to explain what I felt but I can try. Have you ever been around someone that was experiencing an emotion so strongly that you immediately felt that very same emotion at a weaker or maybe even the same intensity? Well... probably not unless your some sort of empath or sensitive to other people's emotions: me being the latter to a tiny degree.
What was the emotion?
The word joy and love doesn't even give these emotions justice because it was that... yet way much more. I wish I could accuratly describe what I felt during that moment; but joy and love are the only words that I know of that are even a hint.
Weird I know but that's not even the oddest part of all.
Yes even given all the extreme oddness in my tragic back-story in which you've only caught glimpses of so far the oddest part is placed in this paragraph. The weirdest part in this whole entire heap of improbable and impossible situation would have to be the fact when the door shut with the loudest slam that I ever heard -yet did nothing to frighten away my already more than half-unconscious state- was when some primal part of me clued me in that I experienced all of these sensations before in another place, another time; but just didn't have the stuff neccessary to transcribe it accuratly remember beyond a slight nagging feeling.
Seriously how freaky is that?