Mordecai's not-that-little secret(Regular Show porn)

Story by Toilet paper on SoFurry

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#1 of Mordecai: A Big Boi

Margaret hears from a reliable source her boyfriend has a monster dick and makes sure to try it out


"This will be our fifth date", said Margaret. "We've really been hitting it off".

"I am happily suprised you guys got back together after you graduated from college", said Rigby, seated on the couch next to her. They were chatting while the blue jay finished getting ready to go out. "Mordecai is in a great mood since you both started dating again. He's ignoring me a little though..."

"How so? You guys still hang out all the time".

"True, but we haven't had sex in almost three weeks".

"Right, I forgot about your gay friends-with-benefits thing. Hey, I said you two could keep that up if you really wanted."

"We know, but Mordecai still feels like it's cheating".

"Have you been going out with anyone else?"

"I've been on a few dates with Eileen, we'll see where that goes".

"Wait, I thought Mordecai was the bi one, and you were just gay?"

"No, we're both bi."

Margaret pondered that information for a minute, a little suprised. She sat and checked the time on her phone; they were going to be late if Mordecai didn't hurry up in there.

"Have you two slept together yet?", abruptly asked the raccoon.

"What?"

"Sorry if that was too direct, but have you?"

"...uh...no. The plan was this date, actually."

"Well, that dumb blue bird never initiates, so you have to make the first move."

"That's actually good info. Anything else I should know?"

"Uh...actually...ummmm..."

Margaret raised her eyebrows at the thoughtful raccoon. "Well?"

"Mordecai has...a...he can only be described as "well endowed".

Margaret's eyebrows threatened to shoot right off her head.

"Rigby I have been with a few guys in my day. I'm not worried about his size. Unless of course, it's too small", she joked.

"It's definitely not too small. Mordecai's great-grandfather was a zebra. He must've got some of those equine genes. He told me he had to have reductive surgery when he was 16 because there wasn't enough blood for it, and there was too much strain on the tendons in the base. He tells me they cut almost 3 inches out of the middle."

"Are you kidding right now?" said Margaret, who looked skeptical. She knew Rigby's penchant for odd pranks.

"Deadly serious."

"Okay...I've had a boyfriend back in high school who had like a 9 inch dick. Is Mordecai that big?"

"Way bigger."

"How big is it, then?"

With no hesitation, Rigby said, "15 inches".

"WHAT?!"

"Okay, 14.75 if you want to be exact. It's about 13 inches around too."

"13 inches AROUND? Uh...how,uh..." Margaret stammered, holding her feathered hands out parallel to one another.

"How wide? I think about 4 inches."

Margaret barely believed it, but the small raccoon looked and sounded as serious as ever.

"How does he have enough blood for that?"

"I said he didn't initially. Had to have it reduced. Still takes a while to get it up, but I can tell you from experience he's just as hard as anyone."

"If he's got such a monster dick, how did you take it? You're only 3 feet tall!"

Rigby grinned. "Hey, I'm 3" 2'. And let's just say I don't have a gag reflex anymore. My other hole", he said, motioning to his butt, "can manage about 2/3rds before I gotta tap out".

"If you're serious, than that's gotta be one of the biggest dicks in the world!".

Rigby said, "I looked it up. Mordecai doesn't compare to the big guys out there, like elephants and horses and stuff. But the current record for all avian species is apparently some rooster, with 13.5 inches. They don't know about our Mordecai yet. So I sent in some forms, and the record guys will show up in about a week. They take forever."

"Who takes forever?" said Mordecai as he walked around the corner and into the room.

"Oh, nothing", said Rigby

"Sorry I took so long to get ready, babe, my jacket had a stain on it, I had to find another one." He pecked her on the cheek with that. "Ready to go?"

Margaret regained her composure. "Yep."

"Okay, great. See you, Rigby" said Mordecai as he took Margaret's hand and they both walked out of the room.

Rigby, getting horny over the thought of his former lover, raced off to the bathroom for a quick jack-off session the minute Mordecai and Margaret left the room.

  • * - * - * - * - * -

Later, both lovebirds were waiting for the check at the restaurant. They had had a great time once again. However, it was one of the fancier places either of them had been, so they were apprehensive about the cost.

"I can pay for me, seriously", said Margaret.

"No, I insist", said Mordecai. "I brought my credit card for this reason".

"Let me pay for the tip at least", insisted Margaret.

"Okay, that's fair".

"What's 20 percent, then?" asked Margaret as she pulled out her wallet.

"About...fifteen dollars I think? $14.70 to be exact".

That reminded Margaret all of a sudden about Rigby's comments before she left. She had tried to keep it out of her head for the entire date, because the middle of dinner at the best steakhouse for miles was not the place to bring that kind of thing up.

"Babe? What are you thinking about? It's $14.70" said Mordecai.

"I'll take your check, sir" said the waiter who had come over at that moment.

"Thank you".

Margaret vaguely heard this as she pulled out a one and a five and slipped them under her plate.

The waiter walked off with the check.

"Hey honey..." said Margaret

"Yeah?"

"I got a...personal question to ask when we get in your car".

"Uh...okay"

"We have to drive somewhere first, somewhere private".

With the smallest of smirks, Mordecai nodded in acceptance and agreement as the waiter brought back the check.

Without a word, Margaret got up and wandered out to the car.

Mordecai walked out behind her.

Margaret walked to the driver's side and asked if she could drive, even though it was Mordecai's car and he had driven there.

"Uh, sure, why not" said Mordecai.

Both hopped in Mordecai's new-used station wagon and drove off.

They sat in silence for the entire ride, until Margaret eventually pulled to the front of the coffee shop where she works. Mordecai by this point was confused, yet decided he would just go with whatever his girlfriend wanted. Margaret stopped the car and turned and looked at Mordecai.

"So...I was talking to Rigby before I left. You know how you two had a bit of a... thing before we started dating?"

"Yes. And I know you said it wasn't a big deal if we continued but I still felt guilty and haven't been with him."

"It's not about that. Rugby was telling me that...uh, you...have a, uh...that you're very well endowed."

At this Mordecai could only chuckle and blush. He looked down at his own knees and nodded his head.

"Yeah...babe I can't deny that one."

"How big is it?"

"Um...a little shy of 15 inches."

"Rigby said the same thing. Is it really 4 inches wide too?"

Growing a little embarrassed, the blue jay continued to look down at his hands as he said, "It's closer to 3.8".

"How do you have enough blood to get something like that up?"

"Well...did Rigby tell you about the reduction I had?"

"Yeah. But still..."

"I guess I just do. It takes a while though sometimes...I use Viagra sometimes but don't tell Rigby that, he'll make fun of me".

There was a pause as Margaret pondered that, among other things. Then she turned and asked, simply; "Can I see it?"

When Mordecai hesitated to answer, Margaret quickly unzipped her dress, and slid it off her shoulders, then unclipped her bra. Her perky D-cups bounced as she squeezed them together, asking oh so innocently, "Maybe these will help you get it up?" Mordecai didn't respond, staring at her large perky nipples.

Mordecai sat transfixed as Margaret crawled across the console of the car and plopped herself on his lap.

"Now, this car is kinda small, and we both have roommates..."

Mordecai barely heard any of this as Margaret ground her thick hips into his crotch. He reached around and grabbed her tits, and pulled her close.

Margaret continued, as she reached into the backseat for her purse, "I have a key to the coffee shop, however, and know about a certain spot upstairs ."

With that, she opened the car door and slid out of her boyfriend's embrace. She motioned for Mordecai to follow her inside as she ran around the car to the front door of the coffee shop and went inside. Mordecai watched as she walked inside the shop. He could feel himself getting an erection, just now coming to terms with what was happening. He started to get out of the car, but just before doing so, opened the glove box and grabbed his Viagra, a small bottle of lube and his XL "Overachiever" condoms. Mordecai popped two of the blue pills, thinking he probably didn't need them at all, but wanted to make sure he was at his best for the girl he loved.

Mordecai walked into the shop to see Margaret standing at the top of the stairs. Her underwear and dress were at the bottom. Margaret simply beckoned with a finger and turned the corner. Mordecai excitedly followed. He walked up the stairs to see Margaret opening a door on the left wall. She waltzed on in, paying no mind to Mordecai, and plopped herself down on the bed.

Mordecai walked in and was immediately suprised.

"Why is there a bedroom in a coffee shop?"

"When we moved to 24 hours a day they converted a storage room to this little bedroom so the employees could nap between shifts. Luckily enough for us the place is closed this whole weekend."

The room was painted light yellow, with no windows, and a queen sized bed on the right. There was a small desk and a lamp on the left side of the bed. It was here that Mordecai placed the condoms and lube.

"Oh babe, don't worry about those. I'm on the pill."

Mordecai just raised an eyebrow at this, looking at the robin sitting down on the bed in front of him. He traced her curves with his eyes around her beautiful breasts, down past her trim stomach, pausing at her mostly feather-concealed vagina, around her curvy hips and all the way down to her cute little feet.

He realized he was already as hard as can be, and he definitely didn't need to take that Viagra. He could feel his balls starting to drop out of the hiding spot they were usually in when he wasn't aroused. Mordecai took off his shirt and jacket as he walked over, right in front of Margaret. The robin nuzzled Mordecai's firm, slim six pack and glanced at his toned shoulders. Margaret suspected he had been working out more often as of late...he had definitely firmed up. She felt his massive bulge with both hands, running more than halfway down his right thigh. Mordecai was thankful his pants weren't any tighter...

Margaret wondered how her boyfriend could stomach walking around naked the majority of the time, knowing one badly timed erection could cause his giant cock to spill out of its hiding space in his cloaca in front of everyone. So she asked him that.

"Willpower, really. I usually wear shorts if I'm worried about it."

"I haven't ever seen you with shorts."

"I'm rarely worried about it."

As she pondered this, Margaret gave her boyfriend's massive bulge one more stroke before grabbing him and pulling him quickly down on the bed. He leaned back, calves hanging off the edge. Margaret got up off the bed and wrapped her hands around his pants and underwear.

"Enough talk", she said in a husky tone. "I've gotta get a look at this dick."

With that, she yanked his pants all the way off and flung them aside. When she looked again at her boyfriend, she couldn't help but wonder if she was lucky or unlucky as the girlfriend of such a stud.

Mordecai's penis was a bluish black color, with a thick shaft that barely tapered at all along it's length. Margaret was suprised at the lack of veins it had, and the fact that such a pillar of meat was able to stand straight up with no assistance. His shaft bobbed back and forth as it throbbed. The head of it looked much like a human's, and must have been four inches long itself. There was a dark ring about 1/3 of the way up the shaft, which was an inch or so wide and made Mordecai's cock slightly thicker at that point.

While Margaret is taking in all this info, Mordecai laughed to himself, as Margaret's awed look was not only quite funny, but it looked just like Rigby's expression the first time he saw it. Mordecai also say up and spread his legs slightly, then flexed, which caused his balls to slip free of their hiding space and flop in between his thighs.

"Holy SHIT, Mordecai! You certainly have the sack to match that cock!" Margaret yelped.

She shifted her attention to her boyfriend's now exposed nuts. They were the size of softballs, maybe larger, and held in a taut, feathery pouch.

"Where do you keep THOSE?!"

"Same spot my dick goes" was Mordecai's smart alec reply.

"You know, though...there's more to do with this baby" continued Mordecai, grabbing his erection in both hands, "not to mention these puppies" he said as he gestured to his nutsack, "than just look at 'em."

"Well..what kind of thing do you have in mind?" asked Margaret.

"I'd like one of everything, actually."

"What do you have in mind...first?"

"How about we...no..."

Mordecai paused for a moment.

"No offense baby, but as we're birds with beaks, a blowjob isn't going to work that well."

"Is that what you were gonna ask for?"

"For a second there, yeah"

"Let me guess" said Margaret, "Rigby usually starts with that?"

"Every time. He's a real slut, that raccoon. Trained himself to lose his gag reflex."

"He told me. So...mouth is out of the question." As Margaret said this, she grabbed the lube off of the table. "Let's just do this the old fashioned way."

She crawled on the bed, and got on all fours facing the headboard. Mordecai got up to give her room. Margaret took the lube bottle and opened the cap, and squirted it all over her pussy, which was getting more and more moist by the second. Mordecai took the bottle from her and smeared it on his manhood, before making sure to hop on the bed and rub the lube good and deep in his girlfriend's snatch. Margaret moaned a bit as he worked his fingers around her eager feather covered flaps. Soon, Mordecai kneeled behind Margaret's perfect ass and lined himself up with her vagina.

"You ready?" he asked, almost pleading.

"Definitely. Cram as much of that tree trunk as you can in there."

Mordecai grabbed her hips and thrust slowly but forcefully into his girlfriend's tight, ready cunt. The lube made it easier than he was expecting, but he still was only able to get the first few inches in. Margaret immediately moaned in pleasure. She was already stretched wider than she ever had been.

"OH GOD YES" she shouted. "Keep pushing, stick it in until you hit bottom".

Mordecai kept pushing, his cock getting squeezed tighter the deeper it went. Margaret arched her back and threw her head up in a soundless yell as Mordecai very slowly and deliberately shoved 15 inches of thick, throbbing bird cock into her pussy. Margaret could feel the tip of Mordecai's massive erection stretching out her vagina to new lengths. Her uterus moved back and out as her arousal grew, eager to accept her lover. She let out another little squeak as Mordecai finally bottomed out.

"Holy...shiiiiit...your're...uuunngh...so...big...ooooh..." Margaret panted, punctuating each word with a small thrust against Mordecai.

"You got about...ohhhh yeah...a foot of it in there...mmmmh....better than...most."

Margaret continued to back into her boyfriend, his cock tip bouncing off her cervix repeatedly. Mordecai timed his thrusts so he pulled out all the way to the tip and slammed back in.

"HARDER!" yelped Margaret. "Oh yes harder!"

Mordecai thrusted in and out, taking long hard strokes. He thrusted down a little at the end, bulging out his girlfriend's stomach, and causing Margaret to scream his name amidst a slew of other moans and exclamations. Margaret all of a sudden had a massive orgasm, pushing back into the blue jay and flopping further down on the bed. She squirted all over the sheets and Mordecai's shaft. Mordecai slowly pulled all the way out and rolled the robin over. Before Margaret could regain her composure, he slid back inside his girlfriend's inviting cave and resumed humping, long and slow as possible. He put his hands on Margaret's nipples and pinched and squeezed her breasts, while Margaret grabbed her own knees and pulled them back as far as she could. Mordecai continued to lean forward and nuzzled her cheek with his beak. Margaret arched her neck back in pleasure as Mordecai pecked up and down her neck and shoulders. Margaret could feel the copious amounts of the stud bird's precum sloshing around and starting to drip out of her now very well-stretched cunt. As Mordecai started to thrust a little faster, she was brought to a second orgasm, her chest heaving as she moaned and closed her legs around Mordecai's middle, and clutched her hands around the sheets. Mordecai then held Margaret as he fell back on the bed, bringing her up top to ride on his cock. He could feel the mixture of juices practically pouring from his girlfriend's snatch run down his thick shaft and onto his stomach and balls. He clutched the base of his cock as Margaret started to bounce on top of it. She could feel him stretching her out with every bounce. It felt to her as though Mordecai was prodding her in the liver. Margaret panted as she rode her boyfriend's astounding penis. Mordecai watched as her tits bounced rhythmically up and down, and how she swayed her hips as she rode. Margaret moved from side to side, which caused Mordecai to yell her name.

Mordecai said, thrusting, "Oh, I'm gonna cum, gonna cum"

"Get...it all...in" panted Margaret.

Suddenly Mordecai pushed her off and on to her back. He grabbed her hips, flipped her over, and stood up. Cramming his dick into her pussy as hard as he could, he thrusted down as he held her rear end in the air. He thrusted as he came, downwards into her vagina. Margaret had another orgasm as Mordecai blew his softball-sized balls inside her. The position the robin was in made sure that as much cum as possible stayed inside and filled her up. Mordecai knew exactly what he was doing. Margaret could feel her pussy filling up as Mordecai blew thick rope after thick rope. Her belly noticeably bulged as her boyfriend's big pent up balls emptied inside her. There was so much it squirted back out of her vagina and onto Mordecai's hips. Almost 40 seconds after he had begun, Mordecai spilled one last of drop of jizz and put Margaret back down on the bed. She laid on her front, completely exhausted and satisfied. Her vagina dripped semen in a steady stream.

"That...was easily the best fuck I've ever had." said Margaret.

"Glad you liked it", said Mordecai, as he snuggled up next to her. "You aren't ready for a round two, by chance, are you?"

But Margaret was already asleep.

"Dammit," mumbled the blue jay, "those Viagra were a real mistake."

He stumbled out of the bed and went to go finish himself off in the nearest bathroom.

Sword swallowing

Vitaly the tiger sat in the stands and stroked himself. Gia the leopard stood in the tent under the lights, embarrassed. "Look, Vitaly" Gia said, "I'm sorry I said you don't give me any sexual pleasure. There's no need to-" "Shhhhh" said the tiger....

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