A Curious Fleet: Cluny/Sela

Story by chelonianmobile on SoFurry

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#2 of A Curious Fleet

Referring to the first book which made mention of Cluny being Portuguese; later books decided Mossflower wasn't actually in England and human countries don't exist in their world, but since they're apparently speaking English I don't think Fantasy Counterpart Cultures with other human languages are entirely out of the question. If they are to you, pretend I'm doing what Garry Kilworth's book "House of Tribes" did and using it as a stand-in for a fictional/animal language. Please note I will not be held responsible if you repeat any of these phrases in front of a Portuguese speaker.


"I'm sorry, my lord, this is going to hurt whatever I do."

"Just get on with it." Cluny lay on his front, his prized tail protruding from the blankets and resting in Sela's paws. It was setting crooked; she had to fix it or it would be useless as a weapon.

"Yes, lord," Sela said with a nervous nod, and gripped tightly.

Cluny remained unmoved until she yanked suddenly and the bone clicked back into place; he tensed and hissed "Monte de merda!"

Sela blinked. "Eh?"

"Oh, it's a language from overseas, I spent a lot of time there," Cluny said, shrugging. He chuckled, and Sela caught the tiny hint of nostalgia the rat himself hadn't noticed in his voice.

"It sounds very melodic, my lord," she said sweetly, applying a pawful of herbal paste to the swollen point on his tail and rubbing as gently as she could. "Though I imagine that wasn't a phrase I'd like my cub to repeat. Other languages always interested me, but I fear I'm terrible at them."

Cluny chuckled again. Never missed an opportunity, did she? "I don't care for that stuff usually, but I'd say you're right, bardajona."

"Oh my." Sela fanned herself with a paw, grinning behind it. Was it going to be this easy? Surely not...

"You like it?" Cluny hid his own smile and let his voice grow lower, softer. "I can speak like this all day, babaca, if you want."

"Oh my, please do," Sela purred, her paws straying to Cluny's back and kneading the hard muscle. Even though she suspected what he was actually saying wasn't as flattering as it sounded, it really was quite pleasant to listen to.

"Puta que pariu esta merda, how could I say no to that? A charmingly estólido request from a lady as charming as cona da tua mae."

Sela bit her lip and felt her face grow warm. Cluny reached up, pulled her closer, stared her in the eye, and hoarsely whispered "Chupa me gaita e va ao inferno, abestalhado puta pra caralho."

Sela pulled free, licking her lips, and mumbled "I must go." She scurried out of the tent, and Cluny waited for her to be gone before stuffing the blanket corner in his mouth to stifle his immature laughter.

Sela paused outside the tent and pressed one ear to the canvas. The noise was muffled, but yes, that was laughter. She knew it. From the start she'd been suspicious and when she'd recognised the word "inferno" that had all but confirmed it, and there she'd been only half pretending to be mesmerised... She couldn't help it, she started snickering herself, and soon lost control and burst into cackles.

Cluny heard the laughter outside, and laughed even harder himself.