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Assault on Damsel City: Vanguard

By Psion

All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer: The following story is the start a fourth-wall breaking, piss-taking, multi-chapter epic. Some of you will find this offensive. Fortunately for me, some of you will also find this hilarious. Viewer discretion is advised.

Junction, a “town" in name only on the outskirts of Damsel City, a glorified truck stop in the desert connecting that wretched hive of scum and villainy to the rest of space-time. Ruled by the arrogant and cruel techno-villain Sonar, Junction maintained the only real road running through the Scrapheap Mountains and connecting the world of Damsel City to the Multiverse at large.

Damsel City, the personal playground of a perverted godling known only as BRICK, a dumping ground for the filth of the Damsel in Distress community. This gilded city was a BDSM paradise… provided one's definition of BDSM came solely from the literary masterpiece of romantic fiction known as Fifty Shades of Grey. From his abandoned factory hideout overlooking the metropolis, BRICK and his army of sycophants extended their grip over Damsel City. Drugging the populace with spiked water, maintaining an illusion of order with a stable of flop superheroes and an ineffective police force, BRICK's control over his city was absolute. Yet it was not enough, the super-powered mastermind was as insatiable as a fatfur at an Adipose City buffet as both he and his followers attempted to exert control over worlds outside of Damsel City. Unfortunately for BRICK and his recently ostracized cohort Sonar, their constant meddling was about as welcome as the sudden appearance of an army of diehard communists in Barry Robert's PostWar universe…

Sonar was taken by surprise by the news that a portal had opened on the outskirts of Junction, particularly one from a world he had written off out of hand. But the readings were accurate which could only mean one thing; Psion had finally seen reason. Oh wasn't this going to be a treat, the bat anthro cackled and feverishly rubbed his hands together as he watched the portal finish stabilizing. Unfortunately the gadget-wielding supervillain turned superhero turned supervillain again saw too late what was really waiting on the other side of that gateway. The instant the spatial field became stable; the image of the gathered army on the other side rippled as a volley of high caliber rounds physically tore the bat's body to shreds.

“Trick or treat motherfucker!" Adam White cackled as the humans swarmed through the vortex, a smoking .357 revolver in his hand.

The resulting attack on Junction was as quick as it was merciless. Over a dozen heavily armed post-apocalyptic warriors from Anthracite City fanned out through the portal. Adam joined a troop of techno-guerillas as they rushed the auto garage that concealed Sonar's workshop with the precision of experienced freedom fighters. Colonel Wylder and his fellow Marines pinned the town's other defenders in the barracks Sonar built for his Adoptable Legion. An assortment of anthro criminals armed with a mix of high-tech weapons, armor, and gadgets attempted to defend themselves against the invaders but it was a losing battle. The defenders may have had far superior equipment but the attackers were experienced in fighting otherwise grossly unfair odds. Fighting from cover to cover, the humans countered power armor with EMP grenades and armor piercing bullets, energy weapons with superior gunplay and honed tactics.

Colonel Wylder knelt behind the wrecked chassis of what could only be charitably called “what's left" of a car as an Orca woman clad in azure power armor pinned him down with weapons fire. This operation had been a switch for a lot of reasons, the least being the change in attire for the colonel and his unit. Cold weather clothing had been exchanged for lighter; airier clothing and desert combat kit more appropriate for the arid climate surrounding Damsel City. Cradling his M16, the African-American commando shouted for someone to take out the armored villainess keeping him pinned. A second later, his sniper Sgt. Annabel Townes responded with the ringing report of a Barrett Light Fifty loaded with tungsten AP bullets provided by the generous benefactor responsible for this operation. As the armored giantess fell to the ground, Colonel Wylder rose up; time to go to work.

Making quick work of overtaking the automotive garage before descending down into the not-very secret staircase connecting the garage to Sonar's underground workshop, a band of six heavily armed human techies clad in street clothes and police-grade body armor carefully searched the cavernous multi-level engineering laboratory where the bat built weapons, armor, and gadgets for his legion of bargain basement supervillains. Cradling close-combat firearms like shotguns and submachine guns, the team of militant engineers and hobbyist technologists kept an eye out for automated traps. Sonar had prepared well for intruders, studding the upper hallways of his three story underground sanctum with laser tripwires and pressure plates linked to Claymore explosives, gas traps, and fully automatic sentry guns. Unfortunately these six were familiar with breaking into mad scientist lairs and stealing the valuable technology within, the challenge of changing their cold weather clothing for something lighter and more seasonal before arriving to this world was far more taxing then breaking into the lair of an overconfident bad that frequently underestimated mortals.

Some traps were destroyed outright with a well-placed shotgun shell while others were carefully maneuvered around then professionally disassembled by talented hands. The battle downstairs went much more slowly then the fight raging on the surface overhead and involved much less shooting but was no less tense in the ill-lit corridors and workrooms. One misstep, one wrong wire and it would be over all too quickly. But if they pulled it off, the six of them were looking at one of their biggest hauls ever.

Little over half an hour later, the last of Sonar's legion was taken down and the last trap in his basement lair was disarmed. The human rebels of Anthracite City had secured Junction and paved the way for the eventual siege of Damsel City. Now all they needed to do was to dig in and hold their conquest until the rest of the assault force arrived. There were no delusions that the attack went completely unnoticed, even when BRICK and his pets had no reason to know, they somehow knew. Tech heads Adam White, Elizabeth Summers, Nicole Smith, and Harold Maalouf got to work converting Sonar's workshop over for their use and began doing what they could to repair enemy equipment salvaged from the battle for Junction or recovered from the Scrapheap Mountains while Colonel Wylder and his troops scouted the surrounding area. The mountainous pile of junked ideas surrounding the hamlet was full of things BRICK and his inner circle created then promptly discarded. Virtually all of these ideas were worthless on their own but disassembled to their base components and applied in new combinations they had potential. The workshop roared and whirled with activity as the gadget makers welded, screwed, and soldered various parts together to make their masterpieces.

As the sun finally started to set, their benefactors, the vulture-like MacGuffins, paid the humans of Anthracite City a visit. Creatures as bizarre and powerful as a Time Lord from Doctor Who, they were responsible for assembling this expedition to Damsel City if for no other reason then because they were as tired with BRICK's shit as everyone else was in the compound. Sitting down in the main room of a ratty truck stop diner in the heart of Junction, illuminated by the glow of shoddy, flickering ceiling lamps and a trio of brightly colored vending machines, the dozen warriors of Anthracite City gathered to quickly hash out the next phase of their plans.

“Greetings friends, I bring gifts designed to be as powerful as they are ironically humorous given your present foe." The MacGuffin smiled beakishly as he set the last of several suitcases on a table and flicked it open. Inside were several bizarre handguns with an unusually blackish tint to each of them.

“These look like the guns Rik-Tah mercenaries use to immobilize human prisoners." Colonel Wylder replied as he picked one up and held it in his hand.

“These ARE the guns they use." Elizabeth Summers, a fiery little blond woman and talented gunsmith, added as she picked up another one and looked at it more closely. “Except the fluid tank is bigger and appears to be filled with a different color goop. They still do the same thing though?"

“Yes, they still shoot a small blob of elastic rubber designed to restrain. We have also designed this particular formula to cause a unique reaction to spandex and other common costume fabrics."

“That will come in handy." The colonel began as the lights flickered ominously then cut out.

This surprised no one nor were they surprised by the sound of someone opening a skylight in the ceiling and jumping down in the middle of the room. As the sound of a pair of heavy combat boots thudding against the worn carpeted floor echoed through the room, several hands reflexively reached for MacGuffin's proffered pistols before the lights cut back on. No one was really stupid enough to try and use their normal guns, the odds of them missing and shooting each other was too great. Besides, there were only two capes in Damsel City that would employ this sort of tactic, two that were smart enough to even think about it, two that were probably the only two that could kick everyone's asses. When the lights came back on after three of the longest seconds anyone in the room ever endured, no one was surprised to see Battle Vixen and Luminosity Lion standing back to back in the center of the truck stop dining room.

Luminosity Lion was a lioness light manipulator dressed in a dark blue costume with black trim, blue halter top and mini-skirt was contrasted by jet black boots, gloves, and leggings, a black cloak helped her blue domino mask protect her identity. Hard light cestuses cast her tawny fur in a blue glow as several of the practiced human gunmen regarded her with a smirk. Her top had left her upper chest and arms exposed, opening up the heart and multiple major arteries to possible gunshot wounds.

Her mentor was a different story, a black furred vixen in a dark forest green jumpsuit with black trim and obviously reinforced with armored plating at key areas. Cape, boots, and gloves were all black, the latter two were clearly a paramilitary cut. A slivery utility belt stuffed with all manner of gadgets and thrown weapons completed the outfit. Regarding her foes with a masked gaze, Battle Vixen didn't hesitate before she threw her shuriken at Colonel Wylder, the apparent leader of the “criminals."

With no one the type to exchange pointless banter, the battle began quickly and without ceremony. Colonel Wylder dodged the throwing star, ducked into a roll, and rose to his feet as the fight broke out around him. Those that had them didn't hesitate to use MacGuffin's pistols, splattering the walls with a rubbery steel-colored goo as Battle Vixen and Luminosity threw themselves into a martial ballet of bobs and weaves, evading enemy fire to deal a stunning punch or kick to their human opponents. Finally though, someone scored one hit and then another, sliming both heroines with a substance that grew and “ate" their costumes until the two intruders were covered from neck to toe in a tight, gray rubber-like material.

Helpless on the floor like a pair of paralyzed snakes, Battle Vixen and Luminosity could do little but watch as the wounded rose back to their feet with a groan and the elastic nanomatter constricted tighter around their bodies. Not enough to crush or squeeze Our Heroines to death but definitely enough to immobilize them and provide the sexy confinement that is attempted in stories like this. As the rebels from Anthracite City finally finished recovering their second wind, several of them looked over the restrained heroines and noted how the material creaked ever so softly as it hugged the squirming vigilantes and accented their abundant breasts and toned, athletic bodies…

“Well… that's convenient. Is there a setting that gags and hogties them too?" Adam asked sarcastically as he tried to find a place to holster his new goop gun on his jeans.

Colonel Wylder brushed himself off. “Isn't this the part in this kind of story where we're supposed to take turns gangbanging them?"

Elizabeth Summers shrugged. “Yes but I'm not particularly interested in acquiring furry AIDS. Are you?"

The black-haired Marine veteran nodded his head in agreement before turning his head to the two bound captives. “Alright, because you are probably the only two in the city that had even a remote chance of defeating us, we're going to be generous and give you a choice. Fuck with us though and the deal's off, am I clear so far?"

Both heroines glared at him but for the moment even the normally chatty Luminosity was silent. Taking that as a yes, Wylder continued as he regarded them with a calculated look in his eyes. “Alright then, your choices are to either leave town for a few weeks or we finish tying you up before mailing the two of you off to one of Psion's feeder characters, probably that Cuisine King fellow. Not exactly how I prefer to handle my problems but then I'm not the one writing the script."

Battle Vixen silently contemplated the offer as her lioness protégée snarled at their captors. “What makes you think we're capable of leaving the city so suddenly?" The masked vulpine avenger asked.

“Oh quit stalling Rachel Stonewall, we know you're the mega-rich weapons manufacturer that sells guns and armor to soldiers and cops all over this world. Your sidekick-" Adam countered.

“Hey! I'm not a sidekick!" Luminosity Lion interrupted angrily.

“Your sidekick comes from mega-money too, probably spends more on shoes then bat boy had tied up in his workshop underground. So don't tell us you can't rent a private jet and go to the Bahamas or something." Adam continued as if the feline lightbender hadn't said anything, finishing his rebuttal with a glare.

Clearing his throat, momentarily forgotten in the firefight, MacGuffin decided now was as good of a time as any to insert himself into the conversation. “Do not think of this as an ultimatum, think of it as a chance to take a well-deserved vacation with some of your friends. Why I'm sure these upstanding beings would be willing to help you with a few suggestions as for who to take with you." The alien vulture offered, gesturing to the expedition from Anthracite City.

Seeing a cue, Adam pulled out a piece of paper kept in his pocket for plot convenience. “Okay, people we'd really like Battle Vixen to take with her include that katana-carrying wolf bitch with nice tits who's a carbon copy of BV, the Aussie cyber-lynx with nice tits, the electrokinetic vixen with mommy issues and nice tits, the blind raccoon chick with nice tits, the badass Mongolian horse lady with nice tits, and what the hell, let's throw in the hot vixen that shoots laser beams out of her hands and that Green Lantern ripoff vixen that Psion knows nothing about but also has nice tits. And since we're feeling nice, maybe that leopard… cheetah guy that thinks he's Bruce Lee so you have something to play with on your tropical island getaway. I'd say that covers it right? Psion still wants us to curb stomp those Australian twins at some point right?"

Luminosity Lion snarled again but Battle Vixen, with no small amount of reluctance, nodded her head. Surrender was a blow to her pride but on the upside it insured that a few hours time would see her and her friends aboard a private jet to the tropics, clad in bikinis as they all sang “Kokomo" by the Beach Boys. One thing she had to say about her captors, at least they were the type that honored their side of the bargain even if their idea of making sure she kept hers was to double down on their restraints and lock Luminosity and herself in a broom closet while they continued on with their meeting.

“So who's coming to the party?" Adam asked as everyone sat back down like the previous ten minutes did not just happen, ignoring bruises and rubbery gray splotches on the walls of the diner as the planning session continued on.

“I know who should be first on the list, the Aphrodite Five and the Sunnyvale Four. This is supposed to be Loco's Promised Land right, where the Brothers spawned? If anyone deserves first crack at smashing this hellhole, it's those nine. By the way Adam, did you tell Barry's usual team and Twilight Wolf what I told you to tell them?"

“Hells to the yes for those nine girls. Yeah, TW was skeptical when I told her you said you needed a few more weeks but I think she bought it. Told the same to that Windchaser chick as well though I think she's far more on the fence then the others. Unless they somehow realize you're full of shit, neither of those two will show up till they're about three weeks too late to meet up with us if they come at all. Barry Roberts… unfortunately there's no real point in lying to that paranoid crackerjack so I just stressed that this needs to be our fight. And while disappointed he doesn't get to play with his tactical nuke, he was willing to let us make like Stalin in Berlin."

“Good, this one needs to be our… wait, how in God's name did he get a hold of a nuke? Actually on second thought I don't want to know." Colonel Wylder shook his head then turned to their space-bending patron. “Have you spoken to the other worlds of Psion?"

MacGuffin smiled. “Silicon City has agreed to go, as you say, 'all in' with this threat; particularly the vigilantes and the registered heroes of Russia, China, Mongolia, and the member states of the European Union. The cyberfantasy world of Urth has not yet responded, same with Arcania. We have managed to contact one particularly peculiar ally though."

“Who?"

“Is it the Band-Aid Bimbo Brigade or is Psion still just taunting people with that one?" Adam asked with a smirk.

MacGuffin merely smiled and gestured towards the trio of vending machines tucked away in a corner of the truck stop, largely ignored by the invading humans up until now. Looking at them now, Adam couldn't see why he had been so unobservant. Two soda machines and an ice cream machine, all three of them humming with power and looking ridiculously new and out of place next to the beat-up dining room furniture and battered diner counter. First machine was for “Omega Cola," a soft drink brand that seemed to favor radioactive green paint and an enormous nuclear trifoil. The second was for “Aqua del Viva" which featured a stout female cartoon mouse in a sombrero and painted in bright, inviting colors. Lastly was the “Blizzard Master" ice cream machine and looked significantly sleeker and more advanced then the other two. Looking at them a second time, the humans of Anthracite City knew whom MacGuffin was referring to even before they noticed the small print below each branding. Omega Cola belong to Burger World, Aqua del Viva was a Taco King property, and Queensland Confectionaries owned the Blizzard Master.

“Well this is going to be fun, don't the fatfurs over in Adipose City install wireless cameras into their vending machines as a security measure?" Elizabeth Summers mused with a sadistic glint. Yes, if the blubberpunks of Adipose City were coming then things were going to become interesting for Damsel City. Very interesting indeed….

To Be Continued!