The Adventures of Ernest: Totaru Tales
The Great Poke-Digi War changed everything. Both sides lost many lives and never got the upper hand. So the Pokemon decided to get help from the humans. In an effort to prevent that from happening, the Digimon dropped 6 bombs onto the 6 populated continents. However, the chemicals in the bombs bonded with the DNA of the humans and not only give them powers, but made them enter the war. The humans fought to end the war with the help of one man...Carson D. Boughton. He ended the war and brought peace to all three worlds. This story revolves around his great-grandson and the suprising path he chose to follow. I don't own Pokemon or Digimon...yet. Won't be too much longer though.
"Alright. Calm down." Ernest said looking at the totodile hopping up and down. Ernest closed his eyes and began to transform into a pair of underwear. It was two months ago since Ernest got a job as a babysitter/bodyguard, and even though Totaru can be a handful, he makes it through the day with some of his sanity intact. Ernest finished transforming and felt Totaru pick him up and slip him on. *It's not a glamorous way to live, but at least I have food, shelter, and peace and quiet.* Ernest heard Totaru call for his brother and felt his tailhole open up. FRRRRT! *Ngh! Well...mostly peace and quiet anyways.* The walk to school was calm as usual. Totaru's friends met with him for a few minutes before class started. Ernest would spend his time between meditating, singing songs in his head, and sniffing Totaru's SBD's. With the emphasis on deadly. Totaru's first class went by very smoothly. He had five minutes before heading to his next class. "Hey Totaru. What goes on?" Ernest tried to find out who he was talking to. *Yo Ernest. You awake?* Ernest smiled. *Oh. Hey Jin.* Ernest said opening his telepathic connection. Jin smiled and began to open his locker. "Hey Ernest? Can Jin come over?" Asked Totaru. *Hmmm. I don't know...let me check. Hey Jin. Totaru wants to know if you can over.* Jin laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I can come over." He said. Totaru cheered and they began walking to their English class. Ernest listened to the other kids talking while they waited for class to begin. FSSSSSST! *Ngh!* Totaru looked back at him. *Sorry. I still have gas from the chili from last night. And I'm trying to wait till gym class to let it out.* Ernest gave his butt a few licks. *It's fine.* He said. Totaru smiled and turned his attention to the teacher. English went by as usual. Totaru was barely hanging on and Ernest tried to keep him awake."
Ernest finally just knocked the sleep out of him and went back to meditating. *Row row row your boat. Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,. Life is but a dream.* Totaru cleared his throat. *Sorry.* He said. Ten minutes later, the bell rang and Totaru walked outside. Totaru caught up with Jin and they walked to their gym. Totaru walked into his designated bathroom and locked the door. "So. How long this time?" Jin asked. "About seven or eight minutes." Said Totaru. Jin smiled and said goodbye. *Are you ready?* Totaru asked sitting on the toilet. *Go for it.* Said Ernest. Totaru smiled and began to concentrate. FRRRRRRRRRT! BRRRRAAAAP! Ernest sniffed his farts and waited for him to continue. BRRRRAAAAP! FRRRRRRRT! Totaru felt the first log reaching his tailhole and began to push. Ernest opened his mouth and ate the log. Totaru groaned as he pushed another log down Ernest's throat. Ernest gave Totaru's butt a few licks to help him out. Totaru groaned and kept trying to push more out but failed. *Look in your backpack. Front pocket.* Totaru looked inside and saw a bottle of laxatives. He pulled the cap off and drank a little bit. FRRRRRRRRRT! BRRRRRRRRRRNT! Ernest sniffed his farts and gave his tailhole a few more licks. Totaru gave another push and finally managed to resume pooping in Ernest's mouth. Totaru finished up and rested. Ernest shoved his tongue deep into his tailhole and began to clean it up. "Hey Totaru. Are you doing okay?" Jin asked knocking on the door. "I'm fine. I'll be out of here soon." He said. "Yeah...not gonna lie. Unless dodgeball became your favorite sport, you're better off staying in there." Jin said. "Jin? I'm not fine. I think I need a bit more time." Said Totaru. Ernest couldn't help but smile. Jin said goodbye and walked off. Totaru laid back and relaxed. Ernest licked his tailhole and waited for time to tick on by.
"Stop for now." Totaru said getting up. Ernest felt him pulling the front of his pants down. "Totaru. Class is about over. So get changed." Said Jin. Totaru smiled and pulled his pants back up. A few minutes later, Totaru walked into his classroom. "Okay class. Normally, we would start with our test and then lunch. However, I forgot the tests at home. And the principal has asked us to come to a meeting after lunch. So no test today." The pokemon cheered and pulled out their lunch boxes. *Hey Jin. Who's the kid in the corner?" Asked Ernest. Jin looked back and sighed. "A new student. Everyone in the gym were going after him." Ernest thought about it for a minute. *Hey Totaru. Let me out of here.* Totaru nodded and raised his hand. Three minutes later, Ernest was in the bathroom with him. "Ahhhh! Feels good to walk again." He said stretching his limbs. Totaru smiled and turned to him. They walked back into the classroom and looked at the pokemon sitting in the corner. Totaru sat in his chair while Ernest walked over to him. The young pokemon looked at him in fear. "Hi. What's your name?" Ernest asked getting into a squatting position. The pokemon looked at him in silence. "Tamaka." He said. Ernest looked at him and smiled. "Nice to meet you Tamaka. My name is Ernest." Tamaka gave him a light smile and took his hand. "Hey! Get away from him!" Ernest turned around and saw a Gargomon walk towards them. Tamaka cowered in fear. Ernest stood up to face him. "What's your problem? I was just trying to make conversation with him." Gargomon slowly looked him up and down. "Heh. Trust me kid. You don't any of what I am right now." Ernest smiled. "Oh? Then bring all 450 lbs of ya. Or should I count over inflated ego."
"Pretty big talk coming from from a bipedal worm." "Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal bitch." Gargomon laughed. "Oh man! You're the best challenge I've had yet. You can talk the talk. Now let's see if you have the walk to back it up." He said getting into a stance. Ernest copied him and got into the same stance. Gargomon stood there and smiled. He then got back up and cuffed his hands behind his back. "I'm gonna make it fair. I'm gonna beat you my hands behind my back. How does that grab ya?" He asked. "Well it doesn't if you're not using hands." Ernest with a smile. Gargomon growled. "Smartass!" He yelled rushing at him. Ernest waited for him to get close and punched him in the stomach forcing the wind out of him. Gargomon gasped and coughed trying to get fresh air. "You're boring." Said Ernest. He then punched him again and sent him crashing into the wall. Everyone gasped as Ernest walked over to him. "Such power." Gargomon said looking up at him. Suddenly, he gasped. "It can't be...are you...a Boughton?!" He asked. Ernest smiled. "As it just so happens, I am." Their audience yelled in surprise. "In fact, Carson D. Boughton is my great-grandfather." Gargomon gasped and kept looking at him. Ernest smiled and turned to Tamaka. "Come here." He said. Tamaka slowly got up and walked over to them. Ernest placed his hand on his head and began to pet him. Ernest knelt down and smiled. "Ripple strand." He said snapping his fingers. Gargomon yelped as he was transformed into fabric and then into a doll. Ernest picked him up and put him into his Tamaka's pocket. "Okay. Raise your hand if you're gonna tell people I'm here." He said. Everyone hesitantly raised their hands. "Okay. Now if you don't want to end up like him, put your hands down." They quickly put their hands down. "Thought so." At that moment, the announcement came on for teachers to let their students return home for the weekend.
Ernest went over to Totaru's table and cleaned up his mess. He then walked over to Tamaka's bag and picked it up. "Ready?" Asked Totaru. "Nope." Said Ernest. He went over to Jin and picked him up. He then walked over to Tamaka and did the same thing. "Now I'm ready." Totaru rolled his eyes and they headed home. "Our legs aren't broken you know." Said Jin. Ernest looked at him and smiled. "Your point?" He asked. "Hey Tamaka? If you don't mind me asking, is that your dad?" Asked Totaru. Tamaka sighed. "No. I never knew my dad. And my mom died in a tornado." He said. "I see. So does that mean that this guy is a slave trader?" Asked Ernest. Tamaka nodded. "Even better." Totaru looked back at him. Ernest winked and kept walking. "Mera. We're home." Totaru said walking through the front door. Ernest put them down just as Mera walked in. "What's up?" He asked. Ernest shrugged and got comfortable on the couch. Mera tapped him on the head and pointed to Tamaka. "Used to be a slave. Set him free. Oh and bind." Said Ernest. Mera nodded and held out his hand. "Tamaka." Mera smiled. "They call me Mera." He said shaking his hand. "Hey. Where's the bo staff I gave you?" Asked Ernest. Mera looked at him. "I blew it the hell up." He said. "What? Did it have an opinion?" Asked Ernest. "Eat me." Ernest chuckled and looked at Tamaka. Tamaka yawned and looked like he was ready to pass out. Ernest picked him up and puthim on the couch. Ernest looked around and noticed that Totaru had fallen asleep as well. Ernest climbed into his bed and after bidding everyone goodnight, closed his eyes and fell asleep.