Furry Fables for Fun Furs: Avian-Hater
Story by Albus Kane on SoFurry
Don't be a bigot. It's beyond simply impractical.
One day, a scrawny Bunny named Mortimer was trying to cross a massive canyon. He was on one side, and his home was on the other. The bridge was closed for repairs. Avian and dragon species, however, were just fine. A dragon walked up to Mortimer and offered him a free lift over to the other side. Mortimer replied "Why would I trust a Dragon? I just know you'll take me back to your cave, burn me to death with your breath, and eat me alive". The Dragon in question would do no such thing, and he clarified this. However, Mortimer did not believe him, and so he simply crossed on his own. A large Flying Squirrel and a Bull offered another plan: the Bull would throw the Squirrel, with Mortimer on top of him, and the Squirrel, the one needing to pass, would glide over to the other side, having already planned on using that method to cross. "And how do I know that the Bull won't just break my spine if I speak ill of anything he likes? I tend to not keep my brilliance hidden away. Why, just the other day, I suggested to some impoverished folk that they get some jobs. They said that nobody was hiring them because they were Sloths and Pigs, but I just stated that maybe they were proving the employer right about their being lazy", Mortimer blurted, mistaking his racism for intelligence and uncommon sense. The Bull simply threw the Squirrel across, and the Squirrel landed perfectly. The Bull then walked away. Then a Gorilla came with a launcher that would launch a stake with one end of a rope on it, and he hammered the other end into the ground. "Ah, yes! A Gorilla! What a lovely plan! Perhaps you could use your excellence with vine- and rope-climbing and your brute strength to help me? Also, who thought of this plan?" "I did. I have a formal education, and a good one at that", their exchange went. Mortimer simply held his tongue, for he knew not to anger the one that would carry him to his destination. However, as the Gorilla was climbing across with his hands, holding Mortimer with his feet, he started slipping. "I have to reduce the weight if I'm going to make it across" the Gorilla admitted. "YOU ARE NOT JUST THROWING MY LIFE AWAY LIKE EVERY OTHER BRUTISH APE!!!" Mortimer screamed, and then the Gorilla let Mortimer fall into the canyon, obviously to his death, and finished climbing without any further problems.