FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's note: Any reference to actual events, people, or places are just coincidental.

"Liek" is pronounced as "leek"

"Li'thel" is pronounced as "lee-thel"

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Chapter 7 â€" Guilt

Location â€" Liek's House: Liek's Room

"Now this is what I call freedom to control," said Yu moving Liek's arms around.

"I'll ask you again, who the hell are you?" growled Li'thel.

"Now, now kitty cat. You don't want to use that kind of tone with me now, do you? In that condition I could, oh, kill you if I wanted to," warned Yu.

"Tch," muttered Li'thel accepting his defeat.

"Damn it! Give me back my body!" shouted Liek.

"Why should I? I'm enjoying my freedom and I want to enjoy it even more," answered Yu.

Yu walked around a little and jumped a few times in place.

"I forgot how good a human body feels. The only downside is that I have to eat to survive. If only I could get the body of a god," said Yu amused.

"I'm still here you asshole. You still have a question to answer," said Li'thel.

Yu stopped moving around and turned his head to Li'thel with a scrunched up face.

"Why do you have to ruin my fun? It doesn't really matter any way since I'm starting to get sick and tired of you ," said Yu grinning.

"What...are you planning?" asked Liek in anger.

"It's for me to know and you to find out," answered Yu. "Now watch like the helpless dog you are."

"Damn it," muttered Li'thel under his breath.

"Remember how I told you that I am the creation from all dark thoughts that Liek possesses?" asked Yu.

Li'thel reluctantly nodded his head.

"Well, I'm about to make one of those thoughts become a reality. From the moment you had him leave the Gundam," smiled Yu as he grabbed a heavy dictionary.

"You...You can't be serious!" exclaimed Liek.

"You're right. A book seems too weak in a man's hand," said Yu placing the dictionary down and pulling a knife from under the bed.

"Seeing how you're going to die, I should answer a question that will be taken to your grave. You asked me who I am, right? Well, I told you I am a manifestation of Liek's darkness but that's not all. I truly exist as a dark soul but I found the right person to inhabit and use to my whim," said Yu as he walked around to the left side of the bed.

"This is the worse way for me to die. Defenseless," muttered Li'thel.

"Hmm, I'd hate to see such white bandages turn red but I guess it can't be helped. I'm the messenger and you're the mailbox," said Yu trying to sound funny.

"I should be laughing but you suck," growled Li'thel.

"Oh well, at least I won't be the murderer," said Yu as he raised the knife over his head.

Everything after that seemed like a blur somehow and yet, I saw everything like when a movie slows down to create a dramatic effect. The knife sank into Li'thel's chest before it was lifted up again. This process repeated so many times I lost count and probably my sanity. Before I knew it, I was stabbing him to death with powerful vigor that I actually enjoyed what I was doing while in the back of my head I was trying to stop. Li'thel's mouth did open but I heard nothing expect my fast breathing and the sloshes of blood as the knife went in and out. What seemed to last for all eternity quickly came to an end as I regained control of my body and fell back onto the ground starring wide eyed at what had elapsed.

"I heard screaming! What's going on in here?!" shouted Henry as he burst through the door with Lily following right behind him.

Lily stopped at the threshold and covered her mouth as she starred at the cold, red body of Li'thel. She slowly extended her left arm in horror as if reaching out to grab something.

"Li...Li'th...Li'thel...?" asked Lily shaking uncontrollably.

One step and mom was already on the floor crying her eyes dry. I can probably guess correctly that dad looked from Li'thel to me and then to the knife. Completely speechless, he reached down for mom and pulled her out of the room to calm her down somehow.

"You cold blooded murderer," said Yu.

I didn't know what to say at Yu or at myself but I knew Yu was pleased with the outcome.

"And to think I could trust you with a knife. I thought you had more self control than that," said Yu slightly proud and disappointed.

All I could say was, "You bastard."

"Well, it was nice playing with you. See you another time," said Yu happily.

It took me a couple minutes before I can get a complete handle on my barely sane mind. I know I'm holding the murder weapon with the blood and finger prints completely obvious. I'm having a wave of cold sweat that is mixed in with fear that I wish I never knew. Haven't felt this way since the police car exploded near me. It took me quite a while to figure this out but the joy of killing lingered in the air and in my system. The only questions I had were, "Who is the next person to die?" and "What's wrong with me?"

"Liek, we need to have a serious talk," said Henry at the door.

I hadn't realized that I was also paralyzed with shock so my dad sat down beside me starring at both Li'thel and the bloody knife.

"You're a mess, Liek. I think you need some professional help because you can't go stabbing people to death like that. I mean, you weren't always like this. From what I've seen, you were always a good person who'd help those in need. You saw your mom, right? Did you even consider the consequences of killing someone?" lectured Henry.

"I.I.I...didn't mean...to do it," said Liek slowly.

"If you didn't then why did you?" asked Henry.

"It...just...happened," said Liek even slower.

My head feels dizzy and I can't really concentrate anymore. I don't even have the power to stand up so I did the next best thing there is. Pass out where I was sitting. Some how though, I couldn't even pass out and just continued to stare at the corpse ignoring what my father was saying.

"There's no point in killing when you don't need to," continued Henry but he soon caught the drift that Liek wasn't paying attention and left the room.

I slowly regained my ability sanity and accessed the situation a little better as time passes by. Mom's wailings can finally be heard downstairs as she continuously shouted "Li'thel" at various intervals. It took me a while longer to understand what I have just done to both myself and my mom. Mom lost somebody important to her and I killed that person out of my anger and probably resentment. I'm starting to regret what I did and ponder on the idea of sadness for a few seconds before tossing it aside.

"I'm never going to hear the end of this," thought Liek as he stood up dazed.

Location â€" Liek's House: Bathroom

I'm back in the room where I first met Yu and everything was still the same. It was difficult to look into the mirror of a murderer and see all of the blood stains. Blood stains on my clothes and body and it only made me feel worse about what I've done. All I could think about was what's going to happen to me in the future. Will I go to jail? Am I going to get disowned? Should I flee to the country side and live the rest of my life in solitude? There were many questions but these were the only ones that stick out.

"I have to get out of here," said Liek out loud. "I'll go anywhere where they won't ever find me. The feds or my family and friends."

A knock sounded against the closed bathroom door but Liek ignored the sound and tried to calm down and think as rationally as he could. Another knock sounded a few minutes later but Liek continued to ignore the sound. This process continued for another 30 minutes before Liek got fed up with the sound and opened the door as bright light shined through the crack and blinded Liek for a moment.

Location â€" Hospital: Emergency Room

"He seems to be waking up. Luckily he relaxed before we added the IV or else things wouldn't have progressed smoothly," said a far away voice.

The blinding light turned out to be the bright ceiling lights but Liek was confused about where he is. The sedative was starting to wear off but he couldn't concentrate well to understand what was going on around him. People moved past him quickly and he couldn't recognize any of the faces. The only thing that stood out was the blob of white that kept going back and forth.

"Oh god, he's alive," said Lily as she popped her head around the curtains.

Lily had been crying for a long time since her eyes were still puffy and her face red.

"Is it okay for me to see him now doctor?" asked Lily to a man in white standing next to her.

"Yes, it is perfectly fine. We're lucky to have gotten there on time. A slight delay could have resulted in his death," answered the doctor.

Lily was slightly relieved and she moved to Liek's side.

My...death? Did I try to commit suicide in the bathroom? I don't have any recollection of it but the noise around me hurts my ears. I just wish that everything would become quiet for a while.

"Liek. Sweetie. I thought I was going to lose another person precious to me. I don't know what I would have done if you were gone too," said Lily trying to keep her composure.

I opened my mouth but I couldn't speak and it felt really dry. Doubt they fed me water while I was unconscious. I wanted to say something but I couldn't since I was afraid of making my mom cry again. The guilt just keeps on building no matter what I try to do. At this rate, I'll never forgive myself for what I've done.

"I shouldn't have had your dad leave you alone after what had happened. I feel guilty for letting this happen," spoke Lily apologetically.

I recognized my guilt as murdering someone she cared about and seeing her apologize to no end about what I did. Mom kept on babbling even after I closed my eyes but it wasn't for long when a large sound ripped its way into my ears and forced me to open my eyes again.