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Thicker Than Blood

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Pt.4 – Duality

Emptiness. You were swallowed into a world of emptiness. Here you were again with those thoughts, the ones you managed to push aside. When you weren't busy working or drinking, you were here. It was your friend, after all, and it knew you better than you knew yourself. It made the choices for you, controlling every one of your actions like a puppet on a string. You came to this apartment to leave behind the life you knew. You wished to wilt away here: To throw out any thought of self-preservation, alone from the world and it's inhabitants.

They were better off…

You didn't realize how long you had been hunched over, crying your heart out, until you pried your hands from your face. Grace was there for you, kneeling by the chair you sat in, one paw on your knee and the other on your back.

She was there for you when you moved in, sitting on the couch beside you when you were all alone. You admitted that you never knew what to expect, or how to face the world by yourself.

She was there for you on your birthday, happy to bake a special cake for you and for her. You told her there wasn't going to be anyone coming over, but she made it a party the both of you enjoyed.

She never knew the truth but she was there for you countless times and you could never repay that debt, no matter how hard you tried. Little things here and there were all you could afford. She never wanted to take them from you, but you insisted. You insisted on trying to prove something that didn't need proving. The world was a scary place and you wanted to pretend, just like you did before, that you could handle it – that nothing would phase you.

It never happened.

You were just as scared as you were that night.

Just as broken, too.

Grace pulled you into her chest, slumping your body into the fur that lined her neck as you offered no resistance. Maybe she was hoping to calm you down. You never told her anything, never said a word. She just always stood by as an eager shoulder for you – that always pained you. You felt greedy… just like them, as if you were taking advantage of her kindness. But what could you do now, other than cry?

“There, there," her soothing voice lulled to you. “You're safe, Vincent."

It was the last thing you heard before drifting to sleep in her soft tufts of fur, drained of all emotion.

…

The smell of a home-cooked stew brought your eyes from slumber. When you woke up, you noticed you were tucked in a bed. Your body felt weak but this wasn't new to you. There were many times you woke up not willing to face the day. What made today different?

Oh, right…

You said to yourself before rising up from the large bed. Memories came and went for you, so did the days. Your hands rubbed your eyes in a circular motion multiple times. The last events seemed to trickle in your mind, one by one, making your teeth grit with just how painful they were. Why were you still feeling sorry for yourself? Your hand gripped the sheets tightly before pushing it aside, getting up to examine the room you were in.

Her room was a complete change from the living room: clothes littered the floor and random trash was placed here and there. The room smelled pretty heavy of dog but that was to be expected. There were some cute posters thumb-tacked onto the walls of various game characters and movies done in the same art-style that stuck to the sweatshirt you were wearing. She's still into that stuff, huh? A small grin briefly placed itself on your face, then died just as quickly. What really caught you eye were the adult magazines and “toys" peeking out from a box on the ground. Guess she had her own vices too – you couldn't blame her. You just assumed she was out here on her own, never once talking about her family, or even a boyfriend on that matter. She was always a certain kind of strange but her honesty was never at question, one of the traits you endeared the most from the bashful woman. What if- What if, maybe, she was more like you than you knew?

“Like me…" you said to yourself, looking down at your chest. Your heart hurt, wondering if she felt some of the same pains you did – you may never know. She never opened herself up to you like you did and well, you still couldn't exactly claim that. If she knew the truth, you'd probably get sent to go see professional help. It wasn't a bad idea but the cost, the appointments, everything about it just rubbed you the wrong way. You despised it with every ounce of your being: to have yourself picked and prodded away at, like some sort of failed science experiment.

A soft knock on the door signaled the end of your reflection time. “Vincent?" The Saint Bernard peeked her head through the doorway. “Oh, y-you're up. Sorry for the mess…" A nervous chuckle quickly turned to silence as you watched Grace earnestly. “I, uhm, made some soup. Would you… like some?"

“Uhh, yeah," you say, unsure of how long it'd been since you last ate. “I think that would be nice."

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Pt.5 – Familiar

It was around six o'clock. The square table was set with two bowls, two spoons, two chairs, set on opposite sides. Whatever it was smelled heavenly, and wasn't a peanut butter sandwich or mystery meat. You took your seat, waiting for Grace to finish in the kitchen. You were a guest in her house, after all, even if you two lived a wall apart. Admittedly, you were starving since the moment you could smell it. Your mind had blocked your hunger but now it was in full effect. She took one look towards you and couldn't help herself, giggling pretty loudly.

“V-Vincent, just go ahead and eat." She made a gesture, wiping her paw against her short muzzle.

“You sure?" Your face looked dumbstruck for only a second. Wait, did she just- were you drooling? You couldn't tell so you wiped your arm against you face in a hurry. You couldn't hide it and, yeah, you were. That was… pretty embarrassing.

“Yes! If you keep that up, y-you'll need another shower." Grace giggled to herself once more before sitting down.

That got a chuckle out of you, and at least she was honest. Still… Eating with company, huh? You knew you were going to enjoy this – It had been some time since you sat down and had a real meal. One spoonful was enough to send your taste buds in shock. You couldn't help yourself: you started scarfing down spoonfuls of the thick soup, chock-full of vegetables, meat, and broth. You took the time to look back towards Grace every once in a while, trying her best to enjoy it without getting any on her fur, which was a bit of a shame. It seemed like she was quite used to it, which did put a damper on that thought.

“I'm glad you really like it." Her soft, serene voice stated between quiet slurps.

The minutes flew by with a hefty aroma of soup lingering throughout the house.

“That was- oh man, that was too good." You said out loud, mainly to yourself, patting your stomach with a content sigh.

Maybe it was a good idea to have these clothes after all. You think you gained a size from the sheer weight of the meal, sitting in the chair with a sort-of smirk on your face. Grace smiled softly, in turn. She didn't seem to mind it – life just continued in her house as the clink of dishes being washed gave a sense of normalcy.

Normal? The faint taste of that word grounded you from the emotional high you were on. This was just another day for her, only you were being included. Your hand stopped rubbing your stomach: it now grabbed the fabric of your sweatshirt, wondering again how you were going to repay her for all of this. It had you thinking for a moment, before you looked back at the clothes. Right, these weren't yours.

“Oh yeah," you stated matter-of-factually, trying to speak loud enough for her to hear, “what did you do with those clothes of mine?"

“I put them in the washer machine." Grace seemed to be too focused on the dishes, barely looking over her shoulder. “They should be done soon, then they can go in the dryer. Wh-Why do you ask?"

“I just…" You lost yourself in thought – part of you already knew where this was heading and shame crept on your shoulders. Were you really trying to leave? It only seemed that much harder to convince yourself about your true motives. You were only curious: you knew that but it didn't stop the thoughts. Why did everything have to be such a tug-of-war for your mind to come to terms with it? Why was it so hard to just accept the help? You were pissed off, mostly at yourself, but most of all…

The emptiness was underneath your feet, ready to swallow you once again.

“Why don't you stay here until Monday?"

That caught your attention faster than you could react. Was she reading your mind? A long sigh escaped from your breath. Even if she was, it was the only option you had, really. You've always kept your nose out of the other tenant's businesses so you couldn't imagine asking a favor out of the blue. That certainly made your skin crawl, owing a complete stranger a favor. You barely remembered phone numbers, let alone even used the damn thing since it was mostly for work. It's all your life revolved around, thinking more deeply about it. Sure, there were games or exercise from time to time, but that didn't define you. It was just another piece of the day to solve boredom – a means to an end. You never had a chance to explore that realm, nor did you put the effort into it.

So what choice did you really have?

“Are you sure?" Your voice sounded nothing like yourself, meek and timid.

“Of course, Vincent!" Grace said with that certain cheer in her voice, taking off the wet gloves she used to wash the dishes. “W-We can make a slumber party out of it: stay up, play some games, watch movies… It'll be fun!" Her paws clapped together, sending small tufts of fur on her body swaying in the after-breeze. Her ears flopped and tail wagged, almost as if her entire body was getting excited just thinking about it. Well, you couldn't argue that it did sound like a good time. It would definitely raise your spirits: it always felt good to see her smile and it made you smile too – seeing her like this always did.

“Alright," you said, getting up from the table, “but we're not playing that damn Meowio Kart game. You know how I feel about it."

“Aww, come on!" She rushed to you, tugging on the loose sweatshirt with those puppy dog eyes. “Just oooone game. I promise I'll go easy." She pressed herself against you closer and closer, just showing how much of a child she still was, despite her appearance.

You couldn't say no to a face like that… “Okay, fine. One game."

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Pt. 6 – Drifting

The night was nothing short of pleasant, both of you in your natural elements. Still, no matter how you tried, you weren't a match for her gaming skills. It was an upset, but that's when you had your choice of movies: ones that always managed to scare the big dog into a clingy child. You didn't even need a blanket with how warm that silky soft fur of hers was. You both shared snacks on the couch, huddled up together, and enjoyed each other's company.

When the movie finally ended and credits rolled, you decided to look at the time. It was getting late. Grace's head was on your lap, already dozing off. She looked peaceful. Her breaths were deep and warm, brushing against your loose sweatpants. You were petting her head for some time before you decided to touch her wet snout lightly. Her eyes blinked slowly before she made a cute yawn, looking up to you.

“Hey. Finally awake?" You whispered with a smile.

“Mmm. Five more minutes…" She turned back and nestled herself in your lap again.

“H-Hey…" You said with a stutter.

She didn't want to get up, and you couldn't exactly either with this huge lap dog on you. Maybe you could let her rest a bit longer. It was the least you could do. Your eyes shifted down to look at Grace, following her small, round muzzle, down to her fluffy collar, and past her body's features. You hated to admit it but she was the definition of “plump to perfection." It only worked to define her body's assets even more. Already, you felt your body getting warmer with each thought under that tank top of hers. Those tight sweatpants-

“G-Grace?" Ah shit! You had to get her off your lap.

She really didn't want to get up but eventually, she drowsily made her way, rubbing both her eyes in the process.

“Oh? Oh!" The realization finally caught up with her. “S-Sorry, Vincent!"

“It's alright." You immediately feigned a sort of hunch, like your body hurt. At least, that's what you hoped she saw.

“I, uhm…" Her gaze darted around the room, coming up with some kind of excuse. “D-Do you need, uhm, a b-blanket? I'll go grab one for you!"

You didn't even answer and she already got up and headed to her room. Was she really ashamed of just laying in your lap? If anything, you should be the one. Or wait, is there some kind of thing against petting anthro dogs on their heads? You didn't have enough time to think about it before she came back with a huge blanket.

“I hope it's comfy enough…" She laid the blanket down beside you. Her attitude seemed to calm down, if only a little.

“Thank you, Grace. I really-"

“It's alright, Vincent. Really, it is."

“Okay." You sighed, looking down at the blanket. “G-"

“Good night."

Her voice seemed cheery, but she immediately turned away before you could really say the same. A thought crossed your mind, if you had gotten too hands-y with her. Was what you did really that bad? You hoped she wouldn't be mad at you or was just putting on a facade.

Shit, what a way to end a perfect night…

You didn't get much sleep between the personal thoughts and what to do after this weekend. There were a couple “what-if's" that never got answered and you couldn't focus on them at all. You just kept thinking about Grace. You thoughts spiraled into more “what-if's": What if I hurt her? What if I said something? What if I didn't say enough? It started to eat at you, not being able to come to terms with it. She was the only person that you could trust, the only one you really knew around this place. She took you in, helped you, fed you.

Now you felt a hole in your chest…

You tossed and turned on the couch.

Another night, not an ounce of sleep.

Then, you could hear it. It sounded muffled, like whimpers or crying. Fuck… she was a sweet girl. She doesn't deserve to feel like this. No one does but especially not her. You had to make this right. What could you even say? “Sorry. If I would have known, I wouldn't have done it?" That just made you sound like a Grade-A douchebag, passing off the problem instead of solving it. Whatever. You couldn't just stay on this couch the entire time. You had to do something.

You crept through the apartment as best as you could. The door wasn't far but you didn't want to alert her either, you couldn't give her a reason to just act like she was sleeping the entire time. Slowly, you grabbed the door knob and opened it just enough to peek into the room. And then, you couldn't believe it.

Your free hand placed itself against your mouth.

The bed covers were tossed to the side. Grace laid there, completely naked. The scent of her permeated the room and now leaked into the doorway. You couldn't stop looking, even if you wanted to. In one of her paws, she held onto the tank top and pressed it firm against her muzzle, burying her face and sounds inside. Each gasp and huff was loud enough, eliciting the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on edge. Her other paw was deep in her crotch, twiddling her wet digits between the flaps of flesh. You grit your teeth hard, trying to keep any noise from coming out.

“Ahh, V-Vincent~" the voice muffled out into the shirt.

You continued to watch. You didn't know why. Was this the way she felt about you now? Did she always feel this way? You felt wrong standing in that doorway, staring at your friend, who you thought you knew. You wanted to close the door, say something, do anything. You couldn't. You were weak. Tears rolled down your face, unsure of the emotions going through your mind. She never stopped – she moaned your name over and over in the night. Her paws completely enveloped by her thighs until she reached her climax, letting out a loud sigh. She reached over to grab some spare tissues, wiped herself off, and then turned in bed. The shirt was still clutched firm in her paw, close enough to her snout.

You waited until she was fully asleep, closing the door as quietly as you could so you could head to the bathroom. Once you were there, you jerked off. You don't know why you did: It felt dirty in every damn way you could think of, yet unlike anything you ever felt before. She was on your mind more than you wanted to admit. You wanted to breath that warm air again. You wanted her all to yourself. Then reality set in again, only to bring more soundless tears.

When you came back to the couch, you hoped sleep would come quick. It never did. Only a drift into unconsciousness.