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Chapter 23 :

Beginining Again

Two months had passed, and autumn was almost gone. So much had happened leading up to it that it felt like a breath of fresh air to have a break from it all. It felt like a reprieve to finally give everyone time to process.

Megan had found Clairibelle, a woman of singular wit, wisdom and desire, and yet so desperate to be loved by her. Cassidy had found Eli, a man every bit as gentle and kind as she ever could have hoped for. His baby was showing on her now, practically a bubble on the belly of her thin body.

Millie, their long lost family member, had returned to them. She wasn't the same innocent little dog she had been when they lost her, but how could she be after all she had been through? Yet now that she was with them again... Now that she was home, at least some of her old self had returned.

Annabelle finally had the man she loved at her side. Ranger was able to walk without his crutch again, and he had begun helping Henry start on the foundations of the new buildings. The first one would be for him and his woman. A bit of incentive to learn how to build it right.

Rosie... Her time at the cabin had affected her deeply. She had been a bit distant ever since. Not so much sad as she was wistful. She knew she did the right thing, but now she was living with the memories of two men gone from her life, both at the apex of her loving them.

It helped that Sophie was spending a lot of time with her now that Annabelle was occupied more often with her man. The last of the crops had been hauled in and their work together was done until the spring, making the absence of Sophie's best friend feel all the more pronounced to her. She couldn't help but feel a little jealous, but happy for her as well.

Penelope was pregnant, just as she wanted. Megan had never seen anyone seem to glow as much as she did now. She never stopped smiling. Never stopped gently stroking her belly. Nothing could have satisfied her more. She and Daisy were closer than ever because of it, sharing looks and smiles at the joy of it all.

Then there was Henry.

He and Elsie finally understood each other. The both of them were hesitant just to jump back into bed together, but they were talking now. She sat with him during meals, and no longer walked away as soon as they were done. She still wasn't taking part of the other activities in the barn, but she was far less withdrawn about it now. It was almost as if they had started over, getting to know each other all over again as if the relationship was new. They just needed a little time...

Both of them, this time.

There was still a lot to face for all of them... Thresholds to cross, and difficult decisions to make. It was a moment of peace for the farm though, and they all welcomed it.

It was always kept warm inside the barn, despite the October chill outside. Halloween was almost here, and the women talked and laughed about their daughters and what they had decided to wear. There was nowhere for the girls to go, but it had become tradition just the same. Every year the girls would work on their costumes, and then one by one they would all knock on Henry's door. He would tell them how amazing they looked. He would give them candy and hugs. He would tell them all he loved them.

Henry was always adamant that they observe the holidays. They deserved that sort of normality. They deserved to be children.

It wasn't uncommon for all their mothers to give in to this distraction. When talk turned to the children, it was difficult not to lose themselves in it. Henry made his way around the room out of courtesy, but they would all be too wrapped up in the conversation to need him for anything.

It was always a sad time of year for Elsie though. She loved to listen to them talk and laugh about their children, and she smiled at how happy it made them. She only wished she could be a part of it.

She had never realized before that she was not alone in that. Not until this time.

She watched Henry as he moved around the room, tending to his tasks, and she saw something she'd never seen before. She saw herself mirrored in his smile. She saw her same sadness in his eyes, even as he was happy for the others. She realized that his only wish was that he could be part of it as well, and he done all he could to make that true.

He gave them candy on Halloween. He handed out baskets for Easter. He dressed up as Santa for Christmas.

It raised a question she had never considered. He and Catherine had never had a child. For the first time she had to ask herself... Had they wanted to?

"The outfits are all completed, for the most part." Daisy did most of the stitching, and this was her favorite time of year. The costumes were only ever seen by her and Penelope before the big night, "I finished the last of the hats for our little witches this morning, but we still need to figure out how to make the broomsticks."

"Well, make them as functional as possible." Clairibelle called across with a laugh, "Child sized cleaning supplies could come in handy later."

"Come on, CB." Sophie smirked back at her, "How much coal are they going to be able to pull up from the mines if we make them do the sweeping up too?"

Everyone laughed. Henry made his way over between Rosie and Annabelle, always his first stop even though he knew they would wave him off on a day like today, "I think I can cobble together some broomsticks easy enough. Just the three, right?"

"Oh, thank you Henry. I was hoping you'd offer." Daisy smiled back at him, "Bridget and the twins are the only witches this year."

The three were all Penelope's children, and even the sound of their names made her smile brighter and caused her to rub her now visibly swollen belly a little, "Zoe and Vera were a little annoyed at first that she wanted to dress like them, but she so adores her sisters. She just wants to be part of what they do."

He moved away from his first stop, not bothering to offer any of their toys and knowing they wouldn't ask. He moved past Penelope and Daisy, touching each on the shoulder affectionately as he went...

Then he paused.

He moved to the rail beside Elsie, leaning on it with both hands and letting loose with a sad sigh that got everyone's attention.

"I love them all." He said quietly, "You know that, right?"

"You never needed to say it." Clairibelle called across to him with a smile, "No one ever doubted that."

Elsie moved closer to him, letting him slip his arm around her and tucking her head against his neck. It was a thing they'd done in this place countless times before, but somehow more and also less sad than it had ever been.

"Right. Well." He said, a little embarrassed at himself, "Someone change the subject, please?"

"Consider it done, Boss." Sophie chuckled, leaning on one arm on the rail in a way that wasn't the slightest bit feminine. She looked over at Clairibelle. "What was it you said Mimi was going as again?"

"Twilight something or other." CB said with a shrug, watching as Henry leaned in to give Elsie a hug, before moving away from her again, "It's from a cartoon she likes. We've been working on the stripes for her hair all... Morning. Oh, hello."

As one they followed her gaze. Henry had started to walk away, but Elsie had taken his arm and pulled him back to ambush him with a kiss. Nothing gentle or polite, she pulled him hard into it to press her lips firmly against his, wrapping her arms around him tightly to make sure he couldn't pull away. He was surprised at first, but not unwilling...

That is until she pulled him backward with her until her back was against the wall, one leg coming up to hook around his passionately and trying to undo his shirt.

"Elsie..." He started to struggle against her, taking her hands up to stop her from undressing him, "What are you doing?"

"Make love to me, Henry."

Everyone was just staring now, though none with the same degree of shock and discomfort as the only man in the room, "Here? Now? What's gotten into you?"

"This is a place of love, Henry. For everyone but you and me." She said, letting her eyes drop, "I stopped... Because it didn't feel right doing it in front of you, knowing how you feel. But I could... With you."

Henry was having a hard time processing, "Not... Everyone. Megan hasn't..."

"Make love to me." She cut him off, not paying any mind to his counter argument enough to point out how wrong he was about Megan, "Stop being ashamed of what you do in this room. Do it, and I'm yours."

He stared back at her, his mouth slightly open, "Are you saying..."

"Yes, Henry." She said, smiling as she let the front of her dress fall open, reaching up to unhook the hoses from herself so that he could see her fully, "No more running. No more doubt. I'm ready to be with you."

No one was willing to say anything for a long moment. No one but one person, who said something no one expected to hear...

"Everyone look away." Clairibelle said calmly, turning to lean on one elbow so that she was facing the wall, "Let them have this."

Henry looked around the room as one by one all the women turned away from them. He realized in that moment that this is what they all wanted. What they had always wanted for him. All his hiding from himself in this room, acting like he was just another piece of machinery in the system... That was for him. They wanted him to be Henry. They wanted him to be a man, and know the love that they all knew here.

"Elsie, I..."

She put a finger to his lips and smiled, "No more talking. Just make love to me."

Again they kissed, even as she barely shrugged her shoulders to let her dress fall to the ground around her. She pulled him against her again, pinning herself between his body and the wall to let him feel her. The softness of her thighs against his... The plumpness of her mound as it pressed against the front of his jeans and the swelling manhood inside of them. Any ability he had left to fight this was gone.

He reached down to fumble with his fly, finding it pleasantly difficult as the moist lips of her sex ground against his fingers. First he tried to just fish himself out, but she was having none of it. She grabbed at the offending jeans and yanked them down, boxers and all, freeing him fully before straightening up again to snag his shaft with her fingers and slide it right up inside of her in one smooth movement.

She wasn't willing to wait. She needed this.

She gasped as he started to slowly buck his hips into her, letting her leg come up again to hook around behind his, and her arms wrap around his body. Her head came down on his shoulder, and that was all she needed to do. It was all on him now.

"I'm yours..." She whispered in his ear, "Claim me."

He began thrusting faster, urged on by the words he had so many times given up hope of ever hearing. She was so warm inside, moist and inviting as her body accepted him completely. She started gasping in his ear, and he knew she was close. Then the moan... It had been so long since he'd heard it. A hummed song of pure silk, like music in his ear as her pleasure crested and flowed over, flooding through her body.

It was all he needed. He couldn't hold it back and he didn't want to. He thrust in once more, pressing their bodies together as tightly as he could manage as his own pleasure made him weak. She could feel him emptying himself inside her, filling her up with the seed that she still hoped beyond hope would find purchase. She knew it never would, but the thought of it... Of carrying the child of this man that she loved so much, it made her smile anyway.

Soon they were just standing there, still connected and gasping for breath. Slowly Henry remembered where he was, and his eyes looked around to find that everyone was still looking away, but what was more...

Smiling. All of them.

He took a moment or two longer to lean into her, giving her a kiss on the neck before finally pulling away. He pulled his pants back up, doing up hs fly and clearing his throat, "Right... Well. Someone change the subject?"

"No, boss. Not this time." Sophie turned back, giving him a smile that he found to be almost proud, "You don't get to just bottle it up again."

"This is what we've always wanted for you, Henry." Clairibelle was looking now too. Megan was leaning on the rail next to her, the pair arm in arm, "You're one of us now."

Henry put his hands on his hips, smiling despite the blush that had taken over his cheeks, "I'm... Uh... Going to need a little time to process this."

Elsie had been going about getting her dress back on, completely ignoring the dribble of their combined fluids making their way down her leg. She moved up alongside him again, taking him back up in another tight hug, "I'm ready to move in, Henry. If I'm still welcome."

"You... Really?" He started to stammer, before collecting himself, "Of course, Elsie. It's all I've ever wanted."

They held each other like that for a while, happy and just on the verge of crying. It had taken so many years to get to this point, and now they were finally here.

"All in all, I'd say it's been a pretty good day." Clairibelle said with a chuckle, "So anyway... We were talking about Mimi's costume."

They went right back to the conversation like what he had just done was the most normal thing in the world.

It helped, and somehow... It felt normal too. She was right.

He was finally one of them.

It was almost an hour before the women had all filed out, showered and dressed, leaving only Henry and Megan alone to finish the job of cleaning up. Henry was clearly beside himself, not sure what to say or do besides what he was supposed to, and that was something she was not about to let stand.

"Do they know, Henry?" Megan said, mopping the area despite the fact that none of the girls had really made a mess this morning, "What this building used to be?"

Henry paused. He had wondered if she had pieced that together or not, but he was never going to talk about it unless she brought it up. A room like this wasn't built with the intention of milking cattle. The rails were added later, but the pit in the middle and reinforced rafters gave away it's true purpose.

"Elsie called this a place of love, and I... I agree with her." Megan said, still continuing to mop without looking at him, "But this was a slaughterhouse. Do they know?"

"You'll notice that most of the girls are milking cows." Henry said with a sigh, "My father raised cattle for the meat. I'd started going another way with it long before the Change started, but..."

Megan finally stopped to look back at him, silently letting him gather his words.

"The barn has been redone a couple times over the last half century, but the stonework is the same." He shook his head, motioning toward the pit filled with straw, "We keep it covered up, but they've all seen the stains. They know."

"Everything has changed so much. Not just them, but all of us." Megan sighed, leaning on the mop a little, "It's not the same world anymore. We're not the same people."

Henry smiled a that, letting his eyes close as he turned to the counter along the wall to lean on it, "Couldn't have said it better, Megan. Thank you."

"Don't mention it." She said, returning to the task at hand. She smiled to herself, and decided to have a little fun, "Also, you were wrong. I've had sex in here. CB even milked me once, just so I'd know what it felt like."

Henry's eyes went wide, a little flush coming to his cheeks as he tried not to picture it and failed spectacularly.

"Right, well..." He said, voice cracking slightly, "Lets finish up."

Millie had barely left Cassidy's side the entire time she'd been here. They did everything together, but mostly they shared a love of naps. Cassidy on account of the havoc the rapid pregnancy was putting her body through, and Millie on account of being still so much like a dog. That's exactly what the pair were up to while most everyone else was either working the morning shift in the barn or off at school, laying lengthwise together on the couch under a heavy blanket, and tangled in each other happily.

The both of them had a lot on their minds though, and when one or the other stirred, their thoughts usually went back to one thing. Something neither wanted to talk about, but which was bearing down on them quickly.

The judge's sentence was almost up.

This time it was Cassidy that slowly roused first, letting that heartbreaking thought do laps around in her mind. She'd only just gotten her best friend back, and she didn't ever want to be apart from her again. It wasn't up to her though. It was Millie's choice, and if she really did love this man...

Her thoughts drifted then to her own boyfriend. How many people wouldn't approve of them being together, much less having a child? It just wasn't right of her to be too critical of her Millie's choices, especially after what she had been through.

Eli... That thought came back to distract her from the previous one, bringing a gentle smile to her lips. Millie had been sleeping in the bed with them so their time alone had been a little rare lately, but she found herself wondering if she could maybe borrow a few minutes with him once he got back from school. She'd been feeling a little extra sensitive lately. Downright horny even. She wanted her man to satisfy her, and she wanted it bad.

"Are you thinking about Eli?" Came the whisper from the little dog curled against her.

Cassidy blinked a little in surprise, "How did you know?"

"I can smell it." She said with a sleepy giggle, "You're getting excited, You know... There."

"Well that's embarrassing." Cassidy said with a sigh, "I didn't know you could tell that sort of thing."

"You love him. It's okay." Millie shifted, wrapping her arms tighter around her sister, "You can always have time with him, if you want. I don't want to take you away from him."

"Thank you. It's been a while." Cassidy nodded, at least as best she could laying down. The comment cemented her mind about the other thing. She had no right to keep her from the man she loved, so she changed the subject instead, "I bet you smell Clairibelle getting excited a lot."

"She's different, isn't she?" Millie said quietly, "She gets excited when she looks at me, even though she doesn't want to I think. She gets real excited when she looks at you."

"I don't think she can help it." Cassidy replied. Her mother had explained the situation somewhat, but knowing her mom's girlfriend got bothered by her was a little awkward, "I bet she has to change pants every time she looks at mom then."

Millie lifted her head, looking Cassidy in the eyes...

"No."

Cassidy looked back at her curiously. That didn't seem possible.

"At least not at first." Millie explained, "Haven't you seen the way she looks at Megan? She feels something different for her than she does for everyone else. I think that's why she wants to be with her."

"Well, you may be right about that part." Cassidy waited as Millie settled her head against her again, "But... You used to call her mom."

There was a silence after that, but then Millie sighed, "It's been so long. I'm worried it won't sound right. I'm afraid to find out."

"I gave up after a while, you know. I thought you were gone forever." Cassidy reached up to stroke her shoulder lightly, "But do you know what the last thing we did before we came to the farm was?"

Millie shook her head.

"We stopped at the gas station up the road, and she put up fliers offering a reward for any news of you." Cassidy sighed, remembering how pointless it had seemed to her by then, "Mom never gave up. She always held out hope that we would see you again someday."

"Really?" Millie's eyes opened back up, "She did that for me?"

"I think she'd like to hear you say it." Cassidy squeezed her a little tighter, "I mean, if you still feel that way?"

"Of course I do." Millie said, sniffling a little now, "You're my family."

Another silence, wrapped in the kind of thoughts that were too big for either of them. Eventually Millie spoke again.

"She went to the... That place." She didn't even want to say the name of it anymore. It took Cassidy a second to realize that she meant the whorehouse, but once she did Millie continued, " I could smell it on her. Why did she do that?"

"I had to."

The pair both startled a bit, sitting up to find Megan coming out of the hallway. She and Clairibelle had come in the back door, once CB had relayed what the girls were talking about. Megan felt a little guilty about that now.

"Mom?" Cassidy furrowed her brow at her, "You didn't hurt anyone, did you?"

"Of course not." Megan shook her head, lowering her eyes sadly, "I needed to talk to Charlie. Ranger said he was the only one that knew the whole story."

Millie pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them in a motion that was clearly defensive, "I don't want to talk about that."

"That's alright. You don't have to. Not until you're ready." Megan took a step toward her, "But I had to know. How can I help you if I don't know what you've been through?"

A mist of tears had come to the little dog's eyes, but she said nothing. Just a nod.

Cassidy was concerned, but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't let that go, "How bad was it, mom?"

"Worse than I feared." Came the reply, "But if everything Charlie said is true..."

"He wouldn't lie about me." Millie sniffled, burying her face in her arms now, just the way her sister would when she was nervous, "He... He's not perfect, but he cared about me."

"He still does." Megan let the silence fall for a few moments, then turned away, "Wait here."

She was only gone for a few moments, gathering something from her room before coming back, this time to sit on the couch next to them. She said nothing, just holding out one hand to Millie to give her back something that had been taken from her so long ago. The last piece of who she had been, and had always wanted to be.

"My collar..." She began to weep as soon as she saw it, "He kept it?"

"He wanted me to tell you he loves you." Megan said, placing it into her timid hand as the little dog reached for it, "He also said never to come back."

Millie looked at it as best she could through the tears. She looked at her own name, engraved on the little piece of metal looking right back at her. It was proof that she was who she wanted to be. She felt things she couldn't explain. The sadness she had become all too familiar with, but the other things... A sense of pride... A sense of finally being free... A sense of it finally being...

Over.

"Mommy..."

She fell against Megan, wrapping her arms tight around the little woman. Megan caught her up in a hug of her own, no less eagerly.

"I'm so sorry, Millie." She said, starting to cry as well now, "I tried so hard, I just couldn't find you. I tried..."

"Cassidy..." Clairibelle had been watching all of this quietly, but even she had a tear in the corner of her eye now, "Would you like to go for a walk with me? I think they need to talk for a bit. Alone."

Cassidy looked back at CB curiously for a moment, "But I..."

"There are things I don't think she can say in front of you." Clairibelle said, smiling gently, "Things a person can only say to their mother."

It took a long few seconds for that to sink in, but soon Cassidy smiled. She reached up to scratch behind Millie's ear briefly, then stood, "Yeah... I think you're right."

"Besides..." CB said, putting an arm around the girl as they fell in step headed to the back door, "You owe Muffin a thank you. You're eating as fast as she can cook it."

The pair left and started up the road toward the bunkhouses, passing a couple of the children just between the main homes, who stopped what they were doing to watch them curiously. Cassidy was always nice, but she almost never left the guest house. This was unusual, but also progress. Once they were out of earshot of the girls though, Cassidy had to ask something.

Something Awkward.

"Millie said earlier..." She paused, clearing her throat a little, "That you... Get excited when you look at me."

"I can't help it. Don't take it personally." Clairibelle didn't even seem embarrassed, but she let her arm slip off the girl's shoulder to give them some space, "I would never act on it."

"Yeah, but she said it was, like... More excited than when you look at other people?"

"That's because I don't just see you. I look at you and I see Eli." She said, smiling gently, "That boy is a stud. It's hard not to picture the two of you... Well. I'll stop right there."

Cassidy giggled at that, much to CB's surprise considering how serious things had been just before, "You're not going to pull a Penelope on me, are you? Should I start up a waiting list?"

"I'd almost be willing to have another kid just for a go at him." Clairibelle chuckled back at her, but her smile faded soon after, "Maybe someday, but not yet. Not until I'm sure."

Cassidy noted the look of concern, and paused to turn and look at her, "What's wrong?"

"Mimi is still young. For now she's alright, but if she turns out to have my... Condition..." CB sighed sadly, folding her arms, "It was so much worse at first. She's going to need all the help I can give her to control it."

Cassidy nodded slowly. She knew enough about CB now to know a little of her past, and it honestly sounded like an awful thing to go through, "You won't have to do it alone."

That brought the smile back, and the pair locked gazes for a moment before Clairibelle moved to put an arm back around her to start them walking...

"I really like you, Cassidy." She said, giving her a little squeeze, "Thank you."

"I like you too." Came the reply.

They both already knew. They had bonded months before over something that still barely seemed real to Cassidy. Something she couldn't help but giggle at the thought of, which made CB look down at her curiously.

"What?"

"Oh, you know..." She said, still giggling, "I just wondered if you got excited because of... Well, the other thing we did."

"What? No... That wasn't sexual, and you know it." CB leaned in a bit, as if someone else might hear, then added with a whisper, "Besides... You're too gentle. I like my nipples chewed a little more."

Cassidy couldn't help it. She giggled like like mad, unable and unwilling to contain it.

Clairibelle just smiled.

"You really are your mother's daughter, you know that?"

Two nights later, just after dark, and Henry was sitting at his desk entering invoices into a spreadsheet. He'd been putting it off, but it was coming up on the end of the year and it was time to get things sorted out. Mostly he was just picking at it, filling the space between knocks at his door.

He smiled at the sound of one of those knockings now, standing from his seat to go see who it was this time.

"Trick or treat!"

Three little witches stood before him. The twins in identical dark blue dresses, and their little sister in purple, with long and pointy hats and clutching the brooms that he'd made for them.

"Oh my goodness..." Henry said, folding his arms to look them each over, "You've really outdone yourselves this year! Those costumes are amazing!"

They all giggled and smiled, clearly proud of themselves.

"Elsie!" Henry said back over his shoulder, "You have to come see this!"

"Oh?" She called back from the kitchen, "Who is it?"

"Bridget and the twins." He said, watching as she appeared now from the other room, having brought three pumpkin shaped baskets with her, each stuffed to the gills with candy, "They're witches this year."

"Are they now?" She said in mock surprise, pausing once she saw them, "They're not going to turn us into toads are they?"

Henry and the girls all laughed, then he spoke again, "I don't think we're in any danger. They look like good witches to me. You're all good witches, aren't you?"

"Yes Mister Hoyt!"

They all giggled, excitedly grabbing the baskets as Elsie handed them over and taking stock of the haul. That wasn't the best part though. What came next was what made this night great for them. Henry knelt down, taking each of them up in a tight hug. He whispered to them that he loved them in their ear, just loud enough for each one to hear. Each time he said it, the words were special. Each time the words were only for them.

Each time, and every time... It made them happy.

"Now don't you go eating all that candy at once." Henry said to them as he stood back up, "And make sure you brush your teeth, okay?"

The three little girls started off the porch, the twins breaking into a skip as they started across the street toward the guest house. It was an extra special year, after all. Now they had two doors to knock on. The littlest one stopped though, looking back through the door past Henry at Elsie, standing a bit behind him and smiling.

Bridget set her candy down on the porch, and walked back in to hold her arms up to her. She was smiling brightly, inviting a hug from the woman that none of the children knew very well. The one that was always so sad.

Elsie dropped to her knees, and wrapped her up tight.

"Thank you, Miss Elsie." She said it a bit loudly. She was the youngest child on the farm, and hadn't quite learned volume control yet, "I love you."

Tears sprang to Elsie's eyes. It was all she could do to contain how happy she was, even as she pulled away to stand again, "Thank you, Bridget. I love you too."

Just like that, the girl was off again to snatch up her basket and run off after her sisters.

Henry closed the door, smiling back at the woman he loved as she sniffled back her emotions, "I never used to care much for Halloween when I was a kid. Now I think it might be my favorite holiday."

"I can see why." She moved up to him, placing her hands on his chest and leaning in against him, "I wish I'd done this with you years ago."

He put his arms around her, placing a kiss on her forehead as he did so, "You're here now."

They stayed like that for a moment, but there was something she wanted to know. The question that had come to her days before in the barn, but which she had yet to ask.

"You and Catherine..." She said quietly, "Did you ever... Try?"

"Yes. We did." He sighed, squeezing her a little tighter, "That's how we found out about her illness."

Elsie sniffled again, letting her eyes close, "I'm sorry, Henry."

"Me too."

They stayed that way for a bit, finally both understanding each other the way they had always wanted to. There was no more running from it. This house was her home now. This man was her love. She belonged here.

Another knock at the door, and they pulled away from each other. A little look in each other's eyes, and a gentle kiss...

Then they walked to the door to answer it together.

As a couple.

"Trick or Treat!"