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Promises Made to a Memory

By Sonny Dae

© 2025, All Rights Reserved

The train rattled and rocked. The lamps flashed through the windows as it passed, the only breach in the dark void that currently enveloped them. To Hayate, it meant nothing. His primary focus was on keeping his dinner down. The constant rocking was bad enough but being stuck in a metal tube surrounded by a bunch of bodies made it unbearable. So many different scents both new and old, with natural, soaps, colognes, and body odor mingled together into a monstrous mix that made his eyes water. How anyone could stand this for extended periods of time, he didn’t know. It was the one thing he hated about public transportation, but it was also the only means of long-distance travel. So many bodies pressed together like this. And he wasn’t the only one if the wrinkled snouts and random coughing was any indication. They were all in this together and would suffer in silence.

The train rocked especially violently, and someone stepped on his foot. The offender mumbled a half-hearted apology and went back to whatever fascinated them outside the window. There was nothing to see but darkness and even if there was, the train was moving too fast to comprehend any of it.

Someone took his paw. He tensed and looked down only to immediately relax upon seeing the familiar reddish fur of the wolfess sitting next to him. “You okay?” Fiene asked. She tilted her head just enough to make her floppy ears flip to the side. Whether she knew that Hayate found that adorable and she was doing it to calm him down remained to be seen, but it worked, nonetheless.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Hayate replied, looking down at his knees. “Guess I’m just nervous. I’ve never gone to the surface before.”

Fiene’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Never had a reason to,” Hayate replied with a shrug. Under his breath, he added, “And the tickets are stupid expensive.”

The way Fiene’s ears twitched showed she heard the comment. “Yeah, Full Moon’s pretty expensive to live. But on the upside, the—wait.” She turned fully to him, her ears rising. “If you’ve never been up there then that means that you also never saw the sky?”

Hayate shrugged. Fiene sank back into her seat, looking devastated. “You can’t be serious.”

“I know what it’s supposed to look like,” Hayate said with a reassuring smile. “Besides, folks in New Moon have bigger things to worry about than staring into the void.” In truth, it always bothered him. Everyone knew why it was called the New Moon Districts. Because it was never seen even if everyone knew it was there. So it was where they sent the undesirables. Like a junk drawer, it was the place where anything that didn’t have a place, would stand out too much, or ruin the projected image was shoved and forgotten. The streets were cramped and filthy, poverty was the norm, but it was home. Folks down there looked after each other.

For the longest time, Hayate hated canids from the Full Moon District. He had never met one, but he heard the stories. Stories of the way they looked down on them. Stories of how everyone up there believed the New Moon was a hellscape overridden with crime and disease. Stories that folks just had to wear a mask to get around because the air was so poisonous. And according to Fiene, many of the those rumors were true. Canids feared losing everything or being forced to move underground. To them, it was the worst kind of punishment.

That could be why she was so determined to learn the truth for herself. She was from the Full Moon. She volunteered for an internship so she could come down to New Moon and confirm the truth for herself. When they met, she didn’t turn her nose up at him, she didn’t call him filthy and mangy. The first time she saw him, she approached him without fear or concern and asked him for directions.

The train rocked again, making Hayate yelp. He quickly looked down, his ears burning with embarrassment.

“The train’s not gonna derail, y’know?” Fiene said. “It rocks and shakes a lot, but there has not been a single incident since they built it.”

“I know. I ride it all the time. Just never this high up. And it never gets easier.” He knew he couldn’t see it, but he also knew how high up they were right now. Much higher than any building. He shuddered at the thought of how far they had to fall if the worst happened as unlikely as it may be.

“Yeah, the trip to the surface does take a while.” She sighed and leaned back in her seat. “I hear the fancy officials get to take some kind of teleporter. They just step through and”—she snapped her fingers—“they’re right there.”

Hayate nodded in silence. As much as he would have loved to have that kind of tech, he understood why it would never be. It would become a logistical nightmare if folks could teleport to wherever they wanted. Although he wouldn’t say no to a private portal straight to Fiene’s place.

But knowing his luck, teleportation would probably make him nauseous.

Fiene grabbed his paw again and rubbed it. “I’m glad you agreed to this.”

“I wasn’t gonna say no.”

“I know, but you could have.”

“Well, this is important to you, and I can’t say I’m not curious. I want to see what you have planned for our anniversary. ‘Introducing me to something new’ is incredibly vague.”

“And you’ll just have to find out what I mean by that.”

The train jolted again, this time the lights flickered briefly. Hayate stared at the ceiling fearfully. It never occurred to him that the train could get stuck in the tunnel. Fiene patted his knee. It was enough to calm him down.

The rest of the train ride went without incident. It took everything Hayate had to not rush the doors the moment they stopped. Fiene grabbed his arm, pulled him close, and placed her chin on top of his head. Feeling his arm squeezed between Fiene’s breasts, her heart beating against him drowned out everything else.

“Can you do me a favor and close your eyes?” Fiene asked.

Hayate tilted his head. “But why?”

“I want to show you something. This is going to be a night you’ll never forget.”

With a shrug, he closed his eyes. If nothing else, he trusted Fiene. She would never lead him astray.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. No longer confined in the train car, he picked up the difference immediately. The air felt lighter and didn’t carry the hint of old metal and garbage. He could tell there was more space to move around just going by the distance of the various footsteps around them and the quieter noise.

They eventually got off the sidewalk onto something softer. Some type of grass if Hayate had to guess.

Finally, they came to a stop.

“Okay, open your eyes,” Fiene said.

****

The moon looks beautiful tonight, Hayate thought as he looked up at the night sky. The moon looked exactly as it did that night, the first time he had come to the Full Moon District.

He would never forget that night. The mixture of emotions welling up within him as he saw the moon for the first time. It was mesmerizing and terrifying. Looking up and seeing no limit to the world above gave him a sense of vertigo. The sky looked as if it would swallow the world whole. But having Fiene next to him, her warmth and her scent was relaxing, grounding. So long as she was there everything would be fine.

Hayate looked down at the grass. It was this very spot that it happened. He remembered it well. He was so nervous. The spot was easily visible from the path, so anyone walking by could see them.

But all of those fears and worries had vanished the moment Fiene pulled him close. He remembered everything. The feel of the moonlight on his fur as he took his clothes off. It felt surprisingly cool especially with the night breeze. He remembered how the moon shone on Fiene’s naked form, bathing her in an ethereal glow. He remembered how his heart pounded when Fiene pulled him down onto the grass, and that excitement soared when he first slid inside her. She was so soft and warm, and he went in effortlessly. He remembered every thrust and moan. Every heave of her breasts, dark nipples painted in the pale light of the sky. He remembered burying his snout in her hair, the smell of shampoo and grass mingling together. He remembered taking her paw into his as he thrust deeper. The way she wrapped her legs around him as if trying to meld their bodies together. How she angled her hips so he could go deeper. The way she panted in his ear. He remembered when they finished together, their paws and mouths locked as they shared their orgasms. He remembered laying there beside her, naked and exhausted, the moonlight leaving nothing to interpretation.

****

Hayate shivered as a breeze washed over them. They hadn’t brought any blankets, so they only had their fur to keep warm. Normally that wasn’t a problem except for the coldest of days, but the heat of their passion was fading quickly and the fall weather reminded them where they were. He pulled Fiene closer and kissed between her breasts. “That was better than I thought it would be,” he said.

“Glad you liked it,” Fiene replied, stroking the back of his head. “But we should get dressed. It can get pretty cold up here this time of year, and you’re already shivering.”

“Just a little longer.”

She continued to hold him close, the sound of her heartbeat lulling him to sleep even as he fought against it. He wanted this moment to last forever.

He took her paw and kissed it. “Thanks, Fiene. For everything.”

“Um, you’re welcome? Where’d this come from?”

“I guess I always believed that I would hate it up here. I was worried I would feel out of place.”

But eventually the cold became too much, so they dressed quickly and continued the “tour”. It was getting late so most of the buildings they passed was dark with only the street lamps to light the way. It was a stark difference to what Hayate was used to. He was used to the city feeling restless even at night. Most stores didn’t close. The streets always seemed packed. The noise outside rose and fell but never ceased. Maybe it was because they were on the surface.

It was so silent, it was unnerving. The crowd from the train dispersed quickly. They would go entire blocks without seeing anyone. He was used to silence being a bad thing. Isolation was to be avoided. The canid who went off alone wasn’t seen again or was found in pieces.

If Fiene was worried, she hid it well. Hayate couldn’t stop swiveling his ears in order to catch all surrounding sounds and carefully watching every alley they passed.

“You can calm down,” Fiene eventually said. “It’s a lot safer up here.”

“You don’t get the attacks up here?”

Fiene’s ears fell. “No, we do. They’re just…less frequent.”

Hayate pulled her closer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to kill the mood.”

“You didn’t, and it’s fine. This kind of stuff is bound to come up at some point.”

Still, he didn’t want to have this conversation now. Not with the night going so well. It was his first time on the surface. They should be enjoying themselves.

He decided to change the subject and try to salvage some part of the evening. “So is there anything to actually do at night around here or is every store closed?”

Fiene hooked her arm around his, her tail wagging furiously. “We have to walk a little further for that. We could have gotten off closer, but I wanted to show you the sky first. It’s harder to see where we’re going.”

“No, I think we got off plenty back there. Although”—he gave her rump a quick squeeze—“I can probably work in another round.”

She giggled fiercely. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He heard the music before they saw it. Rounding the corner revealed a street just as lit up with store signs and life as any in the New Moon. The street was completely packed, making it impossible to see anything in any of the buildings without standing right in front of them.

But even without visuals, he felt the difference in atmosphere. This wasn’t the usual bustle of too many bodies packed in a small space because they had nowhere else to go.

“This is where folks go when they’re looking for a good time,” Fiene half-shouted in his ear. “Stay close. I know a place where we can hear each other think.”

Even with being practically glued at the hip, it was a struggle to keep up. He was used to navigating crowded spaces, but that was usually by himself. It didn’t help that he was trying to take in the sights and sounds as they maneuvered.

They eventually reached a restaurant and bar that wasn’t too crowded. Entering the building felt like stepping out of the train station. The relief from the confinement and noise was pure bliss.

Before he could take in the surroundings, Fiene pulled him towards one of the tables. “C’mon, I want you to try the drinks here.”

****

“Hey, buddy, how’s it going?”

Hayate blinked and realized where he was. He had somehow found himself back in the restaurant that he and Fiene frequented. The place hadn’t changed much since their last visit except for a new coat of paint. Except for the other two customers sitting at the bar, the place was empty.

Hayate sat at the bar as far from the other patrons as possible. “Pretty dry tonight, huh? This place is usually livelier than this.”

The bartender, a rough-looking coyote with a wide face Hayate didn’t recognize, nodded. “Yeah, it’s that time of year where most folks are more worried about staying indoors than going out. Plus there was an attack just down the street from here about two days ago. Things tend to dry up for a few days after that.”

Hayate nodded. Whenever there was an attack in New Moon, it was business as usual. Most places didn’t see any ebb in traffic.

“So what brings you out tonight?” the bartender asked as he wiped down the counter. “You sound familiar with this place, but I don’t recognize you.”

“I haven’t been here in a while. Me and my girlfriend would always come here for our anniversary.”

The bartender, nodded, his ears flat. “Yeah, judging from the look on your face, it’s not going well this year?”

“Maybe, if we were celebrating anymore.”

“Oof. I feel that.” Bartender placed a glass on the counter, filled it with a dark liquid, and passed it to Hayate. “Here, it’s on me. You’re free to stay until closing so long as you keep it down.”

That wouldn’t be hard. The other patrons didn’t show any more interest in him than he did them. As he sipped his liquor, his gaze shifted to their table. Fiene insisted that they sit in the same spot whenever possible every year.

He remembered their first time here. They were just vibing to the music and enjoying their drinks. He didn’t even notice when she had unbuttoned his pants and freed his member until her fingers were curled around it. By then he was too enraptured by her soft touch to complain. Whether anyone could see them or not, he didn’t know or care. The hardest part, besides the fun stick she was playing with, was keeping his facial expression neutral. But she didn’t make it easy. She slid low, kneading the base and the flesh around it before slowly sliding back up to the tip, massaging it until her palm had been lubricated then starting the cycle all over again. He remembered how she stopped just before he could finish, leaving him frustrated yet relieved. The last thing he needed was to make a mess under the table and potentially ruin his pants.

Once again, he had been so distracted, he didn’t notice Fiene slip under the table until her hot breath was coating his shaft as it passed her lips. The way she worked her tongue, how she suckled on it while rolling his balls in her free paw brought him to the brink quickly. All he could was close his eyes and put his head down while she thoroughly drained him. His legs felt weak when she finally returned to his side.

“Mmm, tasty,” she whispered. “You weren’t kidding when you said you do a second round.”

Hayate smiled to himself. That wasn’t the first time she “helped herself to desert” as they would put it. Every year when they returned, she got a tasty treat.

And somehow we never got caught, Hayate thought as he sipped his drink.

“So why come back now?” the bartender asked. “If that’s not too forward. It’s just that most folks come here to forget the past, not relive it.”

Hayate took another sip to buy himself time to readjust his thoughts. Hopefully I didn’t say anything out loud. “I honestly don’t know. I just found myself visiting our favorite haunts.”

“That’s pretty dangerous.”

“When aren’t things dangerous?”

The bartender laughed and stared washing a glass. “Ain’t that the truth? But seeking it out is very different from it finding you, y’know?”

Hayate motioned to the two patrons further down the bar. “They bad company or something?”

“Eh, one of them’s an old fart who comes here every night and the other talks less than you do. If you want some privacy, I don’t mind fucking off and leaving you be.”

“No, no. I don’t mind talking. It might help, actually.”

“So how long were you a regular before…?”

It took him a moment to get the hint. “Oh. Hayate.”

“All right, Hayate. Call me Kenzie.”

“Okay, Kenzie, so me and my girlfriend have been coming here for about six years.”

The yote whistled. “Six years is a long time.” He refilled Hayate’s glass. “So what happened?”

Hayate shrugged as he played with the glass. “Grew apart, I guess. She got this new job in the Outer Rim. Some research or the other. I wasn’t ready to leave. My whole life is here. My friends, my family, even my job.”

“Yeah, I get that. Packing everything up and starting over is hard even when it’s with someone you care about. But you guys really couldn’t keep things going?”

Hayate shrugged again. “We wrote each other. I tried to go out there whenever I had the funds to spare.” He paused as the realization hit him again. “Then one day, she just stopped responding. I sent a few more letters just in case something happened, y’know? But I never got a response. After a year, I figured I should take the hint and move on.” A blatant lie, but the yote didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know that he knew exactly why Fiene’s letters stopped. The final one, an official document addressed to him outlined her fate and the chances of them having a future.

He carried the letter everywhere. Opening and closing it in the hopes that its contents would change. That there would still be a chance. That Fiene was still alive.

But the yote didn’t need to know that. Hayate wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Kenzie didn’t respond right away. He just polished bottles in silence. Finally, he spoke, “Damn, that’s rough. Did you ever try to get out there to see her? What if something happened?”

“If something happened, I was supposed to get news,” Hayate replied, annoyance creeping into his voice. Why couldn’t he just drop it? “Besides, why go out there to get rejected to my face?”

“Because you love the girl that’s why,” a gruff voice responded.

Hayate looked down the bar the interloper. An old hound stared back.

“Oh, now you speak?” Hayate asked.

“Today’s your anniversary, ain’t it?” the hound asked.

Hayate was too taken aback to speak. Did he know this old dog from somewhere? No, he couldn’t. But then how did he know?

“Listen, son, you cared about her enough to keep coming back to the same place for six years,” the hound continued, seemingly ignoring Hayate’s shock. “Those aren’t feelings you just toss aside. That’s why you’re still coming back here even when you’re alone. The least you could do is get some closure.” He turned back to his drink and added, “Or at least give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“Stop acting like you know her!” Hayate shouted.

“You apparently don’t know her if the first time she doesn’t write back, you assume the worst,” the hound replied calmly.

Hayate jumped to his feet. The old dog’s words cut deeper than Hayate would have liked. He hated that this stranger was right and read the situation perfectly. The truth was he hadn’t given up on Fiene, but he couldn’t do it. He was too scared. What if he was wrong? What if she really didn’t want anything to do with him anymore?

“Hey, buddy, I know you’re going through something, but I can’t have you picking fights,” Kenzie said. “If you can’t be chill, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Hayate growled and downed the rest of his drink before saying, “I was just leaving anyway.”

He reached for his wallet when Kenzie stopped him. “It’s on the house,” the yote said. “Just don’t go taking your anger out on anybody, all right?”

He left without responding. Picking fights wasn’t the plan for tonight. There actually was no plan. He just looked up and found himself riding the train to that place. Just like going to their favorite haunt wasn’t part of the plan. He was just there.

As if he needed the reminder. He didn’t want to be reminded. The letter in his pocket reminded him enough.

Was that why he never visited? Because it was too painful?

“Maybe I should see her,” he said to no one.

****

“Hello? Are you home?” Fiene asked, waving a paw in Hayate’s face.

He started at the gesture but quickly regained his composure, ears burning with embarrassment. “Yeah, I’m home,” he mumbled.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him close. “You were pretty out of it for a while now. something on your mind?”

They had moved away from the noise of the night crowd and were walking yet another empty street. That he couldn’t even recall when they left the restaurant proved just how distracted he had been.

“Just worrying about the future,” he admitted. “What happens if you turn into one of those things? Or I do?”

She took his paw and gave it a squeeze. “Don’t think about that. I mean, sure, it can happen at any time, but do you really want to base your decisions around a what-if?”

“I don’t, but in the New Moon, this is a very real threat.”

“It’s a threat up here, too. Folks are just better at hiding it. The truth is, I’m scared. I don’t when it’s gonna happen or who it’s going to happen to. I just know that whatever happens, I want to enjoy our time together.”

“Yeah, but—”

“You just need to trust in us.” She squeezed tighter. “Promise me you’ll trust in us. We’ve gone this long.”

“But—”

She held his muzzle shut. “No. Promise. Promise me you won’t let anything else take away your happiness. I know you, Hayate. You’re the kind of guy who weighs his options and if you think something isn’t worth it, you leave. But this isn’t something where you can weigh the options and think with your head. I’ve never given you a reason to doubt me, so trust that I care about you and would do anything to protect you, even from me.”

He knew there was no arguing, so he nodded. “Yeah, I promise.”

She gently kissed him. “Thank you.”

****

Hayate stopped and wiped the tears from his eyes. This was why he was retracing their steps, wasn’t it? He still hadn’t let go. That old dog was right, he needed to know. If nothing else, he could say he kept his promise all the way until the end.

****

“I hate long train rides,” Hayate said.

“At least the view is nicer,” Fiene replied.

He couldn’t deny that. Riding the train to the Outer Rim meant they stayed above ground the entire time so he could see the fields as they rode by. This one smelled nicer as well although he suspected it had to do with there being fewer bodies. He doubted as many canids were riding to the Outer Rim as were traveling between the Full and New Moon districts.

The realization still did little to distract from the growing pain in his lower back.

He shifted for the 50th time and went back to staring out the window. Seeing this much open space with no buildings in sight felt weird. It felt too open, too exposed. And with the open sky overhead, it felt like he could drift away at any moment.

“Is this your first time going to the Outer Rim?” Fiene asked.

“Yeah. I mean, there’s no farmland underground. Why are we riding out to the west end of nowhere again?”

“Because my bosses want me to assist their field team in testing the new cores. If these things work, we’ll have a much more reliable power source. Think of all the good that will do.”

“Yeah, for the folks topside at least,” Hayate mumbled.

Fiene didn’t respond, but her ears drooping showed she heard that.

Hayate swore under his breath. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little on edge out here. It’s so…open. There’s nowhere to hide.”

She cuddled closer. “Do you need to hide? Just enjoy the view.”

“Yeah, we don’t get views like this back home.”

Still, he would rather be anywhere else right now.

As if sensing his tension, Fiene lay her head on his shoulder. “You worry too much.”

Hayate continued to stare out of the window. “You’ve been to New Moon. Can’t afford not to worry. It keeps you alive down there.”

“I know. I just…wish you didn’t have to.”

He grabbed her paw. “I know.”

****

The train rocked slightly, but it was enough to jolt Hayate out of his nap. He sighed heavily and straightened up. The train would be reaching his stop soon anyway.

Looking out the window, he was shocked at how little everything had changed. The view was almost exactly as it was back then. The were more clouds in the sky that day and it hadn’t just rained. The only thing different was the sense of being swallowed up by the world was gone. Even the train car was pretty much identical to back then. Was it the same one they rode in? He couldn’t be sure; he was too distracted that day.

He remembered how to distract from the existential thoughts creeping over him, he held Fiene close, enjoying her warmth, her scent. Feeling her heart beat against his side. When he started fingering her while she sat in his lap, he didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was how warm and soft her insides felt. How she moaned softly in his ear. In that moment, only they mattered. The hardening of his member between her thighs. The way her fur tickled his crotch. The scent of her soap overpowered the musty stench of the train car. Her moans and whispers drowned out the squealing of the train wheels and the rattling of the windows. Holding her soft breasts distracted from the pins in his back from sitting on the lumpy chair. When he reached his limit, she placed him inside her. “Can’t have you making a mess all over the seats, now,” she had said. When she pulled her panties up, the thought of her walking around with a part of him still inside him sounded so arousing. But most of all, it made him happy. He loved that she was willing to do that with him, and he loved the way she made him feel for it.

How he had wished back then that the moment lasted forever.

The train brakes squealing brought him back to reality. They were reaching the station. With a heavy sigh, he rose from his seat and approached the door. Even knowing she wouldn’t be standing on the other side, he steeled himself anyway for what potentially awaited him.

****

Hayate had to shield his eyes as they departed the train despite being next to the window of the train car. Once his vision adjusted, he was greeted by an open field that stretched on forever.

“You can’t even see the wall from here,” Hayate said.

“Not from here, but we’ll be able to see it once we closer to the lab,” Fiene said. Her grip on Hayate’s arm tightened. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“It’s not like we won’t see each other again. We’ll still write, and I’ll come visit when I can.”

“Assuming they let you,” Fiene muttered under her breath. “They’re so damn anal about their list.”

“I don’t know, a little anal never hurt,” Hayate whispered before kissing Fiene’s shoulder.

“Speak for yourself. You’re bigger than you think. Now behave. We’re supposed to be meeting someone, and I’d rather not be half-naked.”

“I still haven’t fully recovered from the train anyway. But if we can get some alone time in your room later--”

Someone clearing their throat killed the rest of Hayate’s thoughts.

****

“Hey, buddy, you lost?” A paw fell on his shoulder.

Hayate jolted and spun around coming face-to-face with the brown-furred wolf who interrupted his reminiscence. The two years of distance had aged the wolf greatly giving him a more grizzled appearance and a dropping of the muzzle that came with old age.

Hayate swore. He had hoped to not run into any familiar faces until he saw Fiene. It would have made things go much smoother.

“Oh, Simiyu, I didn’t expect to see you here,” Hayate said, trying to hide the nervousness creeping in to his voice.

The wolf’s ears fell. “Hayate? What are you doing out here? No one told me you were visiting.”

“I came to see Fiene,” Hayate said, stepping around the wolf.

“Wait,” Simiyu said.

Hayate didn’t stop. “I know where it is, and I don’t want to hear about your stupid damn list.”

Simiyu cut him off. “One, you’re not on the visitor’s log, and you know how they are about that damn list. And two, it’s a three hour drive from here. Unlike out in the city, there’s no public transport. You either need wheels or you’re legging it. And if I let you walk the whole way by yourself I’d never hear the end of it.” He motioned for Hayate to follow as he walked off. “C’mon, my car’s not far from here.”

“Don’t worry about me, and I doubt anyone would care that much.”

Simiyu stopped and sighed, his ears flattening again and his tail going slack. “Look, Fiene is our friend, and letting something happen to you wouldn’t be a good way to honor that, would it?”

Hayate said nothing and followed.

The ride was long and awkward. Hayate had nothing to say and Simiyu clearly didn’t want to be the one to break the silence, either. The wolf was incredibly stiff and kept glancing in his direction. It made little difference so long as Hayate got what he wanted.

Hayate never felt so relieved upon reaching the facility. The car had barely stopped before Hayate was getting out of it. He muttered a quick word of thanks and headed for the front door.

He just reached for the handle when Simiyu reached past him and opened the door.

“Did you forget that you need clearance or at least someone to vouch for you?” the wolf asked. “Look, I’ll give you some privacy when the time comes but stop trying to ditch me.”

Hayate gave a low growl but didn’t protest. If this was what it took, then he would do it.

A blast of cold air hit him when he crossed the threshold. Hayate shivered a little in the cold air. The place was just as he remembered it back then, cold and uninviting. Everything was colorless and bland. How anyone could stay here without going insane was beyond him.

Sitting behind a desk across from the door was Madina. The fox stood out from her surroundings like a beacon. Her bright green dress, her hair tied with a matching ribbon, and yellow glasses were a stark contrast to her grey fur and monochrome environment.

“Simiyu, you’re—what is he doing here?” Madina asked, pointing at Hayate.

“I saw him at the station,” Simiyu replied. “What was I supposed to do, let him walk? You know she’d never forgive me.”

Hayate turned to the wolf. “She?”

Simiyu’s ears went flat again. “Yeah, our supervisor would never let it go,” he said with a weak chuckle. “C’mon, the next train isn’t until morning, so you can stay with me for the night. I’ll show you to my room.”

Hayate didn’t move. “I can see the room later. Just tell me where Fiene is buried so I can see her.”

Madina suddenly became interested in her rainbow-colored nails. Simiyu stared at the wall.

Hayate’s ears fell. “She is buried here, right? The letter didn’t tell me and her parents wouldn’t tell me.” He cut in front of Simiyu even as the wolf averted his gaze again. “She’s here, right? Tell me she’s here.”

“Hayate,” Simiyu said. “There’s something you should know—”

“Don’t you dare!” Medina shouted. “It’s not our place to tell him!”

“Someone needs to tell him!” Simiyu shouted back. “He came all this way, he deserves to know!”

“Know what?” Hayate cried.

The door to their left opened and red-furred wolf in uniform stepped out. “What’s all this shouting about?” she asked.

Hayate’s mouth dropped. He recognized that red coat anywhere. The shape of her floppy ears, her rounded muzzle, those kind brown eyes. The only thing he didn’t recognize was the streak of white fur that ran from her chin to the base of her neck, disappearing behind the collar of her shirt.

Hayate could only stare, unable to speak. Joy, pain, and anger swelled up in him, locking his thoughts.

Fiene looked to everyone before her eyes locked on Hayate. Her eyes widened as her mouth fell open.

“You know what? I think I left the car running,” Simiyu said. He whirled around headed out the door.

“Huh? What was that?” Medina said over her shoulder. There was nothing there but a wall. “Someone’s calling me, so I should see what they want.” She also hurried out through another door on the right.

Hayate continued to stare as he tried to process what he was witnessing. This couldn’t be right. It had to be a trick, a dream.

Fiene recovered first. “I guess I have some explaining to do.”

That broke the paralysis holding Hayate. With a frown, he reached into his pocket and snatched out the letter that had destroyed his life for the past year. “They told me you were dead. I mourned you for a year! I still am! And all this time, you’ve been here?”

Fiene’s tail tucked between her legs. “Hayate—”

“So what was the plan? You were gonna stay here forever? Or were you gonna just go to some other part of Lunaris and hope we never run into each other?”

“It’s not like that,” Fiene said, her voice breaking.

“Then what is it like?” Hayate cried. “Were you just going to start over without me? Find someone else, get married, and have a family while I rotted away in the damn gutter wondering why it could never be me?!” He threw the letter on the floor. Fiene flinched as if it were thrown at her.

Hayate sniffled and wiped the tears from his face. “Why couldn’t you just tell me the truth? Why the lie? Why hurt me like that? So what was it? Did you just stop loving me? Was the long-distance thing too much? Did you find someone else?”

Fiene shook her head to each question. The tears flowed freely down her face.

“Is it the mark?” Hayate asked. “Yeah, I see it, and I know what it means. It means you’ll turn one day and become one of them. Was that it? Because of the promise we made? Could we really not have our final days together?”

Fiene continued to stare and sob softly. Hayate wanted to feel something, anything besides the rage and sadness that choked him. He wanted to run over and hug her, but all he could think about was how she threw him away.

“It’s not like that,” someone said. Another fox entered the room, this one with black fur. He was dressed in the same uniform as Fiene, but no white patch was visible on him.

Hayate whirled on the interloper. “You mind? We’re having a conversation.”

The fox didn’t budge. “We Paladins look out for each other. I’m not abandoning my partner.” To Hayate’s shocked expression, he added, “Yeah, you heard me right. When first showed signs of turning she approached us and was officially initiated. So she’s immune to turning, but now her life will be forever dedicated to protecting the rest of the population from the unlucky ones. Unfortunately, part of joining the Paladins is giving up your past. No inheritance, no titles, no heirs.”

“So you’re saying we can’t be together because she’s a Paladin, now?” Hayate asked.

“Yes, and no. Officially, no one enforces the ‘no relationships’ rule. The problem is, it doesn’t get any easier. She’s going to go off on long assignments and there’s no guarantee she’ll come home. She’s going to have nightmares of the monsters she faces and horror they inflict. There’s going to be many sleepless nights and hard days. She going to be taken to dark places you can’t fathom and you can’t follow. So for many Paladins, it’s just easier to stay away.”

Hayate turned back to Fiene. She stared at the floor, playing with fingers.

“What about our promise?” Hayate asked. “We promised to never let anything take our happiness away. To always be there for each other no matter how bad it got.”

Fresh tears dripped off her nose. “We also protect each other even from ourselves,” she said softly. “I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t ask you to suffer for me.”

“And you’ll never have to,” Hayate said. He quickly closed the gap between them. He half-feared that Fiene would pull away. But she didn’t react not even when he took her paws in his. “I don’t care how hard it gets. I love you and I want to be with you always.”

“Looks like you got yourself a stubborn one, Fi,” the fox said. “If I were you, I’d hold on to him. Guys are like are incredibly rare, and having the extra support won’t hurt.”

“But—” Fiene began.

“Look at him,” the fox said. “Look in his eyes and see if he’s joking. The hardest part about this job is doing it alone. If you find someone willing to walk that path with you, you take their paw and thank the powers that be for blessing you. Now if you’ll excuse me, you two have some catching up to do.” The fox made it halfway to the front door before stopping and turning back to them. “Oh, Hayate, right?” When he nodded in response, the fox continued. “There’s a support group for those dating Paladins. I’ll make sure to give you their info before you leave.”

Hayate nodded. The moment the door closed, signaling they were alone, he pulled Fiene close, wrapping his arms tightly around her and burying his head in her chest. He inhaled, taking in her scent. His tail wagged furiously.

“I missed you so much,” he said.

Fiene returned the embrace. “I missed you, too. I’m sorry I lied.”

“It’s all right. You were just keeping your promise.” He lifted his head to look her in the eyes. “So is this how it feels to be dating me? All that talk about me being the calculated one and it rubbed off on you.”

Fiene chuckled and kissed his nose. “I guess so.”

“So now it’s my turn. From now on, promise you’ll trust in us. No matter what happens, you’ll trust that I love you and will never abandon you no matter how hard it gets.”

Fiene at having her words thrown back at her. “I promise.”