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[b][i]BRRRRIIIIIING![/i][/b]

"Rrrraaaaargh," an elephant rose like the cryptkeeper, "roise an' shoine Jim."

"Nnnnnnngh", the raptor pulled the covers over his head, "I dun wannaaaaa-"

"Nawww cummon mate, it's Wednesday oi need yer 'elp."

"I'm tiiiiired."

"We're all toired mate." Ashwin swung out from his bed and fwipped off James' sheets. "Up ya get!"

"AAAAAaaaah!" The raptor kicked with a scowl on his face. "I wuz GETTIN' UP!"

"Yeaaah sure you were, cummon brush yer teef an' that."

The room was filled with the sounds of groaning youngsters rubbing their eyes and rousing from their sleep as they filed towards the bathroom with their glasses of toothpaste and brushes separate. Kids jostled and shoved each other in the hall as the bathroom became slightly dirtier with each new brushing, boys and girls scrubbing their fangs and molars until they all headed straight to the main hall for breakfast. Everyone tried to be first in a frantic rush down the stairs and skidding around corners as James struggled to keep up with Ashwin keeping hold of his hand, the elephant blocking through the horde of hungry youths like a quarterback as he parted the sea with his girth to near the front of the queue, the elephant in a light blue shirt and jeans whilst the raptor wore orange shorts and a black shirt.

"Everyone PLEASE," the cheetah swept her hands like a conductor, "single file in an orderly fashion you'll all get your breakfast!"

"Stop PUSHIIIIN'!"

"RIGHT, that's enough or I'll send you two right out and neither of you get to eat!"

The children soon settled, barely and took their trays to the window of the kitchen where dead-eyed teenagers slapped their food straight down into the dents. Meat blocks again, scrambled eggs and some mixed vegetables that they scoffed down with ravenous excitement, the hall filling up to the brim as James and Ashwin took their seats and devoured with moderation out of sleepiness rather than restraint.

"So," the elephant gestured with his fork, "no afternoon classes fer us, first day o' work."

"Mmmh," the raptor shovelled meat into his gullet, "sho, whu-whudda we doin'?"

"Dunno, we foind out when we get there but that's after lunch." He switched his fork to his trunk and scooped scrambled egg with his spoon. "You look better at least."

"Better than you Asswind," James smirked stabbing through leaves and meat.

"Shuddup fossil-face," the pachyderm donked him on the head, "seriously though, gotta make sure yer up to snuff if we wanna gather sum cash."

"Whut's the BIGGEST number of money you ever had?"

"Uhhhh...not sure, oi mean, oi got sum stashed away fer emergencies."

"Really, how much?!"

"None of yer business," he stirred up the last of his egg and finished with the veg, "s'not part of our funds, don' worry 'bout it."

"Do I get the money too?" asked James chewing salad.

"Well, wuz thinkin' oi should 'old onto all of it, cuz yanno, best one of us manages it all loik the grown-ups do, that an' oi can hide it better than you."

"Wh-whutcha mean?!"

"Remember Ms. Okowengo found YOUR dirty mag?" Ashwin prodded with a spoon.

"Th-that wuzn' MY fault!" he squeaked slapping him away.

"Yeah well yer not borrowin' moine, oi've only got the one, you know 'ow much shit it takes to get one when yer not a grownup?!"

"But yer...BIG!" James gestured wildly above their heads.

"Not big enough Jim."

The elephant cleaned up his plate and put it back with James following behind as they went to morning class. Mathematics, a subject neither of them enjoyed but Ashwin paid closer attention than James who floundered frantically and scribbled in his notes for half the class. After that was home economics where the children were taught basic housemaking skills such as cooking, cleaning and sewing. In truth this was teaching them how to do their chores but it also made good life experience under the watchful eye of Ms. Okowengo who gently ushered their fingers to thread the needle and bind the cloth.

"NNNGH!"

"It's alright," she said calmly, "just try again."

"Why is it such a tiny hooooole?!" whined James.

"Because it has to slide into the threads of the cloth."

"OWWWUH!" a human pricked her thumb.

"Don't worry Alice, everyone pricks their fingers first time. Oh, very good Ashwin!"

"Look alrigh' miss?" the elephant pulled up a surprisingly-competent weave.

"That's very good yes!" she smiled holding it up. "A little tight round the middle but your entry is perfect, you have quite the steady fingers!"

"Heh, well yanno," he shrugged with hands and trunk before the bell suddenly rang.

"Alright class have a good lunch! James, Ashwin, hold on a minute." She caught them before they left the room. "Just wanted to check in on James, are you doing well?"

"Uhhh, yeah why?" he stepped back suspicious.

"No no, no reason just wanted to make sure you were fine after Monday."

"Yeah I'm okay, can I go now please?"

"Of course sorry." She bowed with a smile. "Have a good day James I'll see you later."

"Kay, bye!"

They hurried off into the court outside as Ashwin unlocked the door hidden behind the ivy wall that led out into the street, the slush somehow higher than it was before as they made their way towards the pastry shop. The streets became more populated with anthros and humans shuffling into mini-marts to grab loaves of bread and microwaved foods, whilst a barber shop quickly filled up with a hippo gently tufting a human's coiff to look presentable. The sky was brighter today, a warmth starting to settle in that unnerved for the fact that it was January, despite locals preferring to dress down a little for the new year with sleeved shirts. Sy waved them over soon as he saw them with two pies wrapped in bags.

"Arigh' boys?"

"Sup Sy," Ashwin high-fived him as he took his pie, "wanna drink Jim?"

"Sure!" he cried. "Uhhh c-can I have a coke?!"

"Ya sure can lad," the orca went behind the counter and pulled out a soda can, "Four-thirty please."

"Eeeere ya are," the elephant brought out a paper note, "need sum change fer the bus anyway."

"No worries, you back at work now?"

"Yeaaaah gonna check with Mrs. Vanderlik an' see wot's goin' on."

"Ahh fair, still better than math classes eh?"

"Ugh, totally," James popped the can and gulped down the sugar, "math is just soooo BORING I hate it!"

"Well sadly it helps me out a lot," Sy shrugged awkwardly, "so can't really slag it off too much."

"Mmmmm...when did you leave the orphanage?"

"Augh jeez maybe when I wuz about, twenty-three I think. They give ya a choice when ya hit eighteen to either stay an' work with them, or get kicked out on the street since nobody adopted ya."

"Really??" gasped James chewing into his pie. "They just kick you out if no one adopts you?!"

"Yeah Jim," said Ash munching on his, "if no one takes you in by the toime yer an adult, you either work with one o' the grownups or yer out on yer ass down the street."

"Jeeeez."

"Anyways we got a bus to catch, later Sy!"

"Take care lads!" the orca waved them off. "Don' do anythin' I wouldn't do!"

"Wot loik pay yer taxes fer once?!"

"HAH, no feckin' chance o' that!"

Heading up along the street Ashwin led James towards the bus stop, a cracked four-window pavilion with an incredibly thin iron bar pretending to be a bench beneath a timetable of guesstimates for bus arrivals. A small gaggle of elderly people sat uncomfortably in waiting, hangdogged faces from extra-wrinkly primates and canids bantering through their loose jowls which the boys sat apart from. The bus arrived ten minutes later, a chugging relic of a bygone age that rumbled down the street on antiquated wheels and a smokeless engine, despite sounding like it was on its last legs as the would-be passengers shuffled in, slipping coins to the black panther bus driver who mindlessly punched a ticket out for them. Rumbling towards the city the bus passed by old buildings that slowly faded out the closer they came to the centre of London, Ashwin and James taking a seat in the back as they watched the world change from brown and black and grey, to red and green and silver.

"Wooooah."

"Yeah," Ashwin smirked at his friend's wide-eyed grin, "never get tired of it do ya?"

"Uh-uh, everythin's so...sh-shiny."

"Welcome to the city of London. Everythin' in the middle is good, an' everythin' else...well, we live there instead."

"You think we could ever live here?"

"Nah...well, maybe if someone's desperate fer kids."

"I bet someone is," James pressed his hand to the glass, "someone out there would."

The pachyderm sighed and slipped his trunk round James' shoulders as they watched the city of London grow before their eyes. Crossing over the river Thames which loomed prodigiously towards the east and west, curving like the world serpent that ran a trench through the metropolis, severing the rich from the poor as they entered the wealthy districts. Solid red sandstone and ancient foundations mixed with tremendous skyscrapers that reflected the sun as mirrors to the gods filled with lustrous riches that dazzled James in passing. To the east was Westminster, the clock tower where Big Ben chimed stood ever watchful over the city, framed against the Thames riverbank with Parliament in session at its feet and luxurious green hedges along wrought black iron fences in front of prestigious Victorian housing that had been almost seamlessly recreated from their original design. But this was not their destination, more a fleeting glance of what could be as the bus trundled north towards less impressive practical buildings.

To the west was Hammersmith, a middle-class area just on the side of affluent within the presence of Westminster's grace, but a steady conflagration of blocks both office and apartment gave a reasonable structure, nothing that ever stood out for fear of drawing envy from neighbours. To the north ahead was a lower set of streets in the form of Kensington and Chelsea, a modest place yet at the same time people walked with heads held high in pride with a surprising number of storefronts and amenities available on every street. Not even tower blocks stood in this place, humble apartment buildings and a sense of community that almost felt like they had walked into the past where everyone smiled and skipped with between moving supplies and setting up stalls next to walls painted by local youths in freshly hip but socially-acceptable art projects.

"Why can't we live HERE?!" cried the raptor. "This place is so COOL!"

"Heh, trust me Jim," he leaned over at the window, "oi wish we could but we don't get to choose."

"Why noooot?" James smooshed his face on the glass.

"Cuz things 'appen mate. Things always 'appen. Roigh' here's our stop, let's go."

They hopped off their seats and leapt from the bus into the midst of Portobello Road, a market that stretched through the entire lane as various humans and anthros sold their wares from multicoloured stalls that filled with their patter for bargains. A bobcat was selling used electronics whilst a crocodile sold fresh fruit, two humans had a range of surprisingly-legit vinyl albums whilst a grizzly bear sold paintings and vases to decorate any home with at a reasonable price. A fishmonger barked, a baker hollered as scents of fresh produce mingled through every passerby luring them in with prospects of a good deal. The brightness and enthusiasm was what surprised James the most, even the worst-selling vendor kept a smile with practiced hands and clapping paws goading the consumer to approach.

"APPLES 'ERE, FRESH AN' SMOOTH AS A BABY'S CHEEKS!"

"Byootiful vase 'ere my love, put it in yer front 'allway gives a touch 'a class the first thing yer neighbours see-"

"COMIN' ATCHA HARD WE GOT THE LATEST SINGLES! Antiforce, Devon Rising, Venus Galore, they're all here fresh an' packed to be ripped an' burned!"

"I got a brand new M-player at half-price, only one previous owner and barely scratched! Come on I know you got some good music lovers I see my friend over there's offering some good vinyl but, you wanna carry that stuff ya right?!"

"He's right folks, you want the freshest music to rip yourself come to me, you want the music on the go, head to him!"

"Oi Sal!" Ashwin waved to the croc. "Giz an apple 'ere!"

"No prob li'l man!"

The gator hurled a delicious red fruit that Ashwin caught in his trunk, whilst throwing a coin back that the grocer caught equally swift. The elephant cracked the apple into two halves handing one to the raptor who chewed it carefully like a cracker, whilst the bigger boy's mouth took it all with a slow crunch.

"Mmmph, gawd ah luv Portuhbelluh Road."

"Hehehee, yeah, everyone's so nice!"

"Yuh well," the pachyderm gulped, "they got a nice thing going on 'ere."

"So why's it nicer-looking than where we live?"

"I dunno mate, place is just noice, there's always jobs 'ere no matter wot day it is, sumbody needs a free pair o' hands an' a trunk to fix things."

"So, whut you wanna do when you grow up?" asked James turning in front of him to walk backwards.

"Pffft, dunno really," the elephant shrugged, "could just work in odd jobs, make a business outta that, you could prob'ly fit me in most places."

"So, if you got a job, could I come too?!"

"Yeah, why not, hire you as my assistant, yer smaller than me so you can worm yer way into sum places."

"Cool-NNGH!" The raptor tripped stumbling into Ashwin's arms.

"Hey watch it," a polar bear snarled in front.

"Sorry mate," Ashwin gave a salute, "cummon Jim yer not s'posed to drink before eleven."

"WHUH, I-I'M NOT-"

"Shhhhh he gets cranky when 'e 'asn't had his cider."

"A-AAAASH!"

Shuffling along hurriedly past the bear, the raptor stomped with a huff through a stall full of saris that hung like flags around them.

"WH-WHY'D YOU TELL HIM THAT?!"

"Cuz you were walkin' backwards loik a fanny!"

"I-i wuz just bein' silly, I'm NOT DRUNK, I DON' EVEN DRINK BEER!"

"Good thing too, yer eyes are already buggered enough from all that wankin' ya do."

"N-NUU I DON'T!" The raptor threw his fists as the elephant grabbed both. "Not as much as you do Asswind!"

"Hahaha yeaaah but yer still a kid an' oi'm a preteen so oi gots a real body fer it!"

"You got a body, f-fer eatin' cakes, an' if you ate anymore, you'd get so...s-so, fat that you can't even touch yer wiener!"

"Yeah well oi don't still call it a wiener loik a baby, now cummon!" He threw James' hands away from him. "Let's get to this place already."

At the end of the street and through the swelling market crowds they found their destination. A youth hostel where blue and yellow letters shone in friendly font inviting anyone to come in as they stepped through the front door of a partially-ventilated entrance. Soft pebble hues on the walls with fake plants dotted around the reception desk, one or two backpackers could be seen conversing in German as the two kids approached the desk.

"Alrigh' ma'am."

"AH, Eshwin!" A zebra in a green t-shirt with hot pink pants clapped her hands. "Wuz wonderin' where ya gawt to!"

"Sorry traffic wuz a noightmare, yanno 'ow it is."

"Heeheeheh, well ya reddy to git started?"

"Sure, you remember James roigh'?"

"Hiiii miss," the raptor waved with shining teeth.

"Ello cherub, you grown since larst time ah seen ya!"

"Yeah, I'm seven now!"

"Hehaha awwww lecky number! Alrigh' come through then."

She flipped open the side of the desk that allowed them to the back, her office a cozy little spot with a South African flag on the wall and photos of footballers screaming cheers in the stadium. A television was also on a wrap-around desk in a corner of the room that gave the walls a soft blue flicker, burdened beneath a little shelf where dictionaries in various languages sat.

"You 'ad a good holiday Esh?" she asked.

"Yeah wuz alrigh'," he flicked his trunk, "could be better."

"Sorry to 'ear, you 'ad yer lunch?"

"Yeah down at Sy's, yanno the usual."

"Goodie, now yous two gawt sum work ahead of ye's, the drains're buggered frum the slush we 'ad, so I needs you two to unclog 'em."

"Ewwww," the raptor cringed, "drains are gross."

"Yeh but people use 'em, least yer gettin' paid fer it!" She handed two pairs of gloves and face masks for each. "There's four of 'em to unclog so git to it."

"Did you just graft a sock into this?" Ashwin raised his long-looking mask.

"Look, you gotta make do with wot you gawt, thet's a good quality sock!"

"Mine looks weird," James held up a black rubbery snout with eyeholes, "is this like whut crinimals wear when they rob someplace?"

"HAH," the zebra cackled patting his head, "hmhahaha, naw naw cherub just a friend o' mine from the club let me 'ave a spare fer you."

"It smells funny."

"Thet's just the disinfectant, now go on git crackin'!"

Leading them through the backdoor of the hostel she pointed out to where the drains were situated, a small trench imbedded in the street where four slats marked the corners of the building. Putting on their gloves they went to work, Ashwin lifting up the grate before they reached their hands in and started pulling out clumps of refuge to put into waterproof bags that Vanderlik had given them, slush that became pustules of hardened fat and greasy waste.

"Nnn-n-n-n-n-nnnngh!" James whimpered with outstretched hands.

"Oi know Jim," Ashwin muttered holding the bag open, "just hold yer breath an' bung it in."

"This is like, if yer nose could take a huuuge dump."

"Yeah that's wot 'appens when oi get a cold, you remember that last year?"

"Pfffft, yeah, you were like, SPSHRRRR!" James wagged his hand in front of his snout. "Like you were a firehose of SNOT!"

"Hhhehehehe, the laundry people hated me fer all the mess oi made in me sheets, they looked loik a sodding raincoat ya pulled out the Thames!"

"SNRKheeheehah, like someone dumped paint all over yer bed!"

"HAH, alrigh' next drain let's go."

Over the course of an hour they joked in greater disgusting details of the drainage contents, trying to one-up each other in the worst descriptions with each new grate they uncovered. Despite the strange looks they received from passersby they continued with their work, almost filling the bag with semi-solid sludge.

"Alright!" said James rubbing his gloves. "The lost cursed treasure of Bum-Ra is waitin' fer us!"

"Wot secrets could lurk insoid his dark decrepit pits!?" whispered Ashwin extremely loud. "The fabled Booger Headdress of Snortankuffin?!"

"The Toilet Seat of...of...Pootdalidown!?"

"The Golden Showers of Babylon!"

"Wait whut?" James cocked his head.

"It's a piss joke Jim cummon keep up."

"Pfffft...okay, let's crack this butt open!"

"HAH, noice!"

"Wow, look at that." A young male voice came from down the street. "I told you guys orphans were a real piece of shit."

Looking up they saw a pale-skinned human teen in a flash purple tracksuit and slacks with annoyingly-slick dark hair. Two other humans accompanied him, one with blonde hair and the other ginger in dark-green hoodies as their frontman looked the two kids up and down with a visible disgust.

"Fuck you doing round here, scavenging for caps?"

"We're workin'," snorted the elephant, "don' got toime you can insult us another day-"

"I ASKED you a question Dumbo, the fuck are you doing here and not in the cabbage patch where you're from?"

"We took a bus," shrugged James, "yanno, it goes vroom?"

"Heh..." the teen walked up with hands in his pockets and tongue in his cheek, "think you're funny li'l bitch?"

"Funnier than you," said Ashwin pointing at his hair with his trunk, "but that slug on yer scalp's pretty funny too."

"Least I HAVE hair," he kicked a dust cloud at James who yelped and coughed with bleary eyes, "only thing you guys didn't lose in a fire was your fucking skin but then, heh...you both look pretty well-done right?!"

The other two goons cackled with a forced sneer as Ashwin stood up and stepped in front of the raptor with crossed arms. Then he started to squint, peering carefully at the human's pale-skinned throat that made him lean back.

"What?! Fuck you looking at?!"

"Just tryna see if yer dad's cock made an indent in yer throat after all them years."

"Wh-WHAT?!"

"S'hard to say though, 'ow many of his mates you service, is it more or less than yer mum does?"

"SNRRKHEHEHEE!"

James sniggered as the teen snarled with eyes deadlocked towards him, marching over with leg tensing for a kick before Ashwin shoved him back with the full of his weight and a hand placed firmly against the human's chest.

"Touch 'im, an' yer head is goin' in that fuckin' sewer."

"Oh, good, that way I can finally meet your family."

"Oi already met yours down there, now let us do our job, we're just tryin' to do sumthin' decent."

"If you two wanted to do something decent you'd either die already or never come back. Seriously look at that shit you're wearing."

He plucked and flicked at Ashwin's shirt amidst sniggering from his cohorts.

"I thought the whole point of that care home getting shut down was to stop penny-eyed little bitches like you from coming back."

"Oi'm not livin' 'ere Adam, oi do me part to keep this place clean you oughta be grateful."

"I'll be grateful when I never have to see you or that little crybaby bitch again. Seriously, you think I would forget what you did to me last year?"

"Be happy when you're dead."

"...what."

The human leaned past Ashwin with rancid sneer showing his upper teeth to James who stood up defiant.

"I said, I'll be happy when yer DEAD, are you DEAF or what you, y-you SKINHEAD?!"

"Keep that up and I'll turn you into a belt BITCH!"

"I bet yer dad belts you and you like it!"

"Yeah," said the elephant snickering, "you miss your daddy's belt already Adam, wanna get sumthin' good fer Father's Day?"

"F-FUCK YOU!"

He slammed both his hands into Ashwin as he fell back, stumbling against the wall and almost knocking James down behind him as Adam stomped forwards with his fist ready to fly. The raptor immediately kicked him in the shin before his two friends could intervene, but the slick-haired human grabbed his arm and threw him aside to focus on Ashwin. The elephant grabbed both his wrists as the two teenagers wrestled briefly, Adam pushing him against the wall as Ashwin bared his teeth and shoved him back with all his might down into the street. People started to mutter from the stalls in seeing the scuffle, the raptor trying to leap onto Adam's face before he was pulled back by the blonde and ginger humans who took one of his arms each and let him struggle. Their leader made a bullrush towards Ashwin and slammed his head into the pachyderm's gut as he wheezed with a sudden gasp before Adam slammed his fist into the side of his head, knocking him back against the wall in a hard stagger.

"LEAVE 'IM ALOOOONE!" James shrieked.

"Shut up pissypants," said Blondie, "unless you wanna eat my fist next or-A-AAAAAGH AAARGH YOU LI'L BITCH!"

"GUUUHH!"

The raptor chomped on the human's wrist before shoving the redhead to the side as he came bumbling forwards in a crouching run to throw his body into Adam's back, sending him down to the pavement as James frantically leapt on his back and feverishly beat across his head like a drum with snarling rage until the human rolled himself over to throw the raptor off, grabbing the boy by his chest and readying a fist for his eye before Ashwin bodytackled him hard and wrapped his trunk tightly round Adam's throat.

"[i]A-A-a-aaaaaRGHKH![/i]"

"Fuckin' warned you last toime, didn' oi li'l skinfuck?"

"[i]GHAARHKH, HHHHRLH-[/i]"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

The voice of an adult barked at them from the street as Ashwin relaxed his chokehold slightly enough to let Adam breathe but not enough to let him go as they all looked up, seeing a white polo shirt and severe black pants from which a radio sat on the shoulder and a bag with plastic cuffs at the waist. A tanned human police officer with a moustache and traditional bobby cap as he pointed to Ashwin.

"Let him go, now."

"He started it!" said Ashwin.

"N-NO I DIDN'T!" shrieked Adam. "This sick animal tried to choke me!"

"THEY WANTED TO BEAT MY FACE IN!" shouted James pointing at the humans.

"QUIET!" The officer stepped forwards with a hand sliding to his pocket. "You, let go of him now and pull your trunk back."

"Foiiine." Ashwin slipped back his snout as Adam scrabbled away from him.

"Th-they were gonna strangle me!" stuttered the youth.

"I can see that...Ridley." The officer looked down to him. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"My uh...my mum was sick, had to go home to look after her."

"Uh huh...so if I escort you back now to your house and ask her-"

"Wha-uhhh, sh-she's in hospital, yeah, I'm looking after the house!"

"So why are you not at home looking after it?"

"I was GETTING, groceries, SIR!"

"Well..." he motioned his head up the street, "go on and get them then, stop wasting your time with street kids."

"Y-yes, sir."

He waved over his friends who all left heading up the street, slicing a finger across their throats when looking back to James and Ashwin as soon as they were behind the policeman. The officer crossed his arms and stepped forwards to the two youths.

"Happy new year Ashwin...I was hoping you'd stay out of trouble."

"Hard to do that when trouble foinds me," shrugged the elephant, "howsit goin' officer Chen?"

"Not bad, you really ought to stay away from that Ridley kid."

"We were!" cried James. "H-he came up outta nowhere an' started makin' fun of us!"

"I know, but you don't exactly have a good track record yourself do you Campbell?"

"Wh-whuh?"

"Ey-ey leave 'im!" Ashwin stepped forwards with his hand up. "Cummon don' bring that up mate."

"I'm not your mate," warned Chen, "I'm just telling you that if you escalate things and this ends up in court, you're not going to find any friends on your side between the son of a business supplier, and two kids too poor for a legal defence."

"Don't we get lawyers, oi thought you lot were s'posed to give us legal aid!"

"We should, but it's too expensive." The officer swept his arms in defeated shrug. "It sucks I know but blame the government."

"Can we like throw stuff at them?" mused James with a snort. "LIke one o' them burning bottles-"

"Are you actually suggesting that in front of a police officer?"

"So?" The raptor shrugged kicking his feet. "I don't care, you think I'm guilty anyway-"

"No, no." He put his hand up. "I don't have the time to talk through this again, I'm just telling you now for your own good, to stay out of trouble and to stay away from Ridley's kid. Not because you're wrong, not at all, but because you can't afford to be."

"Fine. Can we go now?"

Chen gave a deep sigh and nodded, walking back down the street as James and Ashwin pulled the last of the grease from its grate, tightening the bag and with dual effort dragged it carefully back through the alley surrounding the hostel to make sure it wouldn't burst, leaving it beside the dumpster before knocking on the back door to the office.

"Eyyyy there's me li'l muckers!" the zebra smiled as they trudged back in. "Dit go well?"

"Yeah," muttered Ashwin snapping off his gloves, "til Adam Ridley showed up."

"Ugh gawd is thet li'l prick around?!"

"Yeah!" stomped James peeling his gloves off in turn. "Why's he even HERE, all he does is pick on us!"

"You'd think with his dad he'd lurn to not be a shit," she sat back onto her seat, "you fend yerselves alrigh'?"

"Chen stopped us from kickin' off," said Ashwin slumping on an extra chair, "gave us a warnin' an' let it go."

"S'not FAIR!" the raptor slammed down beside him. "We're like, DOING stuff fer ya an' they get to beat us up cuz they live here, I hate 'em, I wish they were DEAD!"

"Alrigh' alrigh' calm down," Mrs. Vanderlik swivelled in her seat, "no use sweatin' about it, why don' i git you sum ice cream fer a job well dun?"

"You got any 'ere?" asked Ashwin flapping his ears.

"Nah wuz just goin' down the shops fer supplies, if you wait a bit I'll git beck, vanilla alrigh'?"

"[i]YEAH![/i]" cried both boys.

"Alrigh' you both sit tight I'll be beck, don't leave this room or fiddle with anythin' yeah?"

She walked out to the street, the boys tapping their knees and huffing breaths sharply as if trying to blow the minutes faster. Ashwin was patient, closing his eyes with a gentle nap and softly lilting his head. James almost immediately went to the TV and searched for the remote.

"Oi!" the elephant tapped his back. "Didn' she tell you not to fiddle wi' anythin'!?"

"I'm just turnin' the TV on," he slapped Ashwin's trunk away, "maybe there's sumthin' on."

"You don' touch someone's telly withou' permission!"

"Yer not my dad!" The TV flicked on with a click of the remote. "OH, cool Jerry the Hero!"

"Awww fer fuck's sake Jim-"

"No no it's coming on I wanna watch it, pleaaaaase Ashwin?!"

"Nnnnngh, foine."

The raptor pulled up his chair closer as the news continued on, four minutes left before the start of the next programme as indicated by the rectangular overlay of times at the bottom of the screen. A group of disfigured sharks were being led out from giant cargo containers, sobbing and collapsing into the arms of police with cauterised wounds where their fins had once been.

[i]"The operation first began five months ago when Australian police raided several stores in Adelaide concerning a drug operation. Connections to the shark-skin industry had been discovered, leading to collaborations with the Singapore police two weeks later. The thirty-seven victims of the trafficking trade have been relocated to the Barrier Reef Hospital, two of which have already died in transit from their wounds. The crew have all been charged and are currently awaiting trial. Tom Holsbeck, EBC News, Australia."[/i]

The news changed from the far east back to a studio in red where a pale rabbit in a short black blouse continued to the next report.

[i]"Parliament welcomed the news today that there will be an autumn budget at the behest of Prime Minister Woolf. Following great criticism and a public campaign comprised of several charity organisations, the Oaken Branch Government have been accused of promoting austerity and further driving the gap between classes in the country. Lucas Foxx of the One Thames Party weighed in as opposition with the following."[/i]

[i]"People should be afraid of Woolf,"[/i] said a well-tailored wolf in a suit, [i]"he's a boardroom governor who only speaks with numbers and cannot see the thousands who are being put to the streets, expected to provide the same income as those in the wage bracket above them. It's an absurd concept, an old world relic just the same as the prime minister himself."[/i]

[i]"That's all from EBC News lunchtime, and we'll see you again at four o-clock, take care."[/i]

A bombastic theme briefly stung the end of the news as two commercials for programmes quickly went past before Jerry the Hero finally started up. James shook in his seat with vigorous glee as Ashwin sighed through his trunk with arms crossed like a disapproving mother at the odd rockin' intro of two geckos composed of fire and ice, blasting a double helix to compose a young excitable adult who ripped off his superhero outfit to reveal an indochino suit with brazen finger to the sky.

"This show looks so wank," muttered Ash.

"Noooo it looks funnyyyy!" cried James. "If yer not gonna watch it you can just leave!"

"Mmmm oi need to take a dump anyways, you just stay 'ere alright?"

"Okayyy!"

The elephant left the room as James kicked his feet watching the show start. The story began with a sweeping shot of two geckos flying across the rooftops of a beautiful city metropolis shining with blue steel. One gecko wore a silver dress forming a whole crystal beam of ice that she slid along like a skater, the other in crimson armour wrought in flames surged like a comet past her. A giant monster with multiple black eyes for a face shrieked a tremendous soundwave that shattered windows and threatened to break the ice beneath the heroine.

[i]"Queen!"[/i] the firebeast cried.

[i]"I'm fine,"[/i] she landed on a radio tower, [i]"just keep going, Jerry where are you?"[/i]

[i]"I'm behind the monster now!"[/i] the camera cut to the young gecko in a parking lot. [i]"Jeez this thing's the size of a battleship!"[/i]

[i]"What did I tell you about metaphors?"[/i]

[i]"Sorry...I'm setting the trap now!"[/i]

[i]"You sure the lot is big enough?"[/i] growled his father.

[i]"Y-yeah, no worries this place is as big as-...well, that!"[/i]

[i]"Good, you have ten minutes."[/i]

Jerry sighed as he looked at the cars currently parked within the lot, tenting his fingers with soft flames flickering through them. His body was covered in red and yellow with a triangular cape shaped like a cartoonish bang from a firecracker.

[i]"Hhhhohhh boy I should probably get everyone's licences first, they're gonna need some compensation!"[/i]

He walked over to each of the vehicles writing down numbers and registrations, seeing the beast's shadow in the distance as giant flaming fists swung ruthlessly towards the shrieking beast.

[i]"Mmmm this one's four years worth...this one's three-oooh yikes this one's not even taxed well he's gonna miss out, better take a picture."[/i]

[i]"Jerry is the trap set?!"[/i] his father shouted through his ear.

[i]"YEAH, I'm just...testing the viscosity!"[/i]

[i]"I don't hear any bubbling tar!"[/i]

[i]"It's uh...it's a new kind of tarmac, it's called the silent killer!"[/i]

[i]"Hmph."[/i]

The comms clicked off as the screeching continued, Jerry quickly taking pictures of each car before shooting upwards and burning his fists above his head.

[i]"Least they won't get a summary motion, hopefully!"[/i]

His fingers roared to a searing white as he blasted down heat rays upon the empty lot, molten earth sizzling the gravel to cause it to warp and bubble like black porridge in a microwave, a toxic stench filling the air as Jerry coughed with eyes stinging. The cars began to sink slowly with tires popping from the heat, a rippling effect made as the shadow of the colossus came above his head to blot out the sun. Dark lava quickly filled the space as he shouted to his comms.

[i]"OKAY DAD SEND 'IM IN!"[/i]

[i]"FROM THE FIRES OF HELL I SENDETH THEE [b]BACK![/b]"[/i]

With mighty roar of demonic fury, the father drove his fist of flame with such power that it felt like a building had crushed the creature's face to send it tumbling back into the parking lot, falling straight into the soupy ooze as it shrieked and snarled helplessly from the foul chemical stew. The ice queen skated round to send a shocking blizzard upon the parking lot and rehardened the gravel, permanently trapping the creature as its struggles became weak.

[i]"Looks like this case,"[/i] Jerry pulled out his shades, [i]"just fell into liquidation."[/i]

[i]"No."[/i] The frost gecko slapped his head knocking the glasses off. [i]"No lawyer puns what did we tell you about those?"[/i]

[i]"S-sorry I couldn't help it!"[/i]

[i]"This is a serious business Jerry we're not in a comic book."[/i]

[i]"But dad gets to say cool one-liners!"[/i]

[i]"That is not a pun,"[/i] she waved a cold finger at his face, [i]"that is a catch phrase, they are emblematic of his character and strengthen his chi!"[/i]

[i]"Oh come on mom it's just cheesy!"[/i]

[i]"Nothing is cheesy about strengthening your inner powers,"[/i] said the father floating near, [i]"one day you will understand."[/i]

[i]"Is that the day when I get a cool superhero name?"[/i] shrugged Jerry.

[i]"Yes, you have to earn it not because it's 'cool' but because you represent an ideal. I invoke the powers of hellish flame, your mother is the queen of ice."[/i]

[i]"Soooo, you got a name for me yet? Cuz, seriously who cares about a superhero called JERRY?"[/i]

[i]"Would you prefer your full name?"[/i] said the mother prodding his chest. [i]"Now come on, we have to leave before the jackals arrive."[/i]

As if on cue there was a horde of jackals with cameras and film crews waiting to be the first on the scene as they reported the incident with great excitement, with some of the reporters giving equal disdain for the "supposed" superheroes that had caused wanton destruction. The camera panned out of the news camera's view to a very boring office with every grey in the wallpaper chart.

[i]"No no, no I'm seeing it all here,"[/i] said a T-rex in a suit, [i]"well at least there was less damage this time......well, we'll do our best but if you don't have the forms the insurance company can't cover your vehicle unless you can prove it was melted halfway through a parking lot beneath a Xenonite's body. Alright, I'll put my best guy on it, call you soon."[/i]

He clicked off his phone the moment the door opened to reveal Jerry in a strikingly-handsome blue suit.

[i]"Hey Mr. Termon."[/i]

[i]"Ahhh Jamie, Jerome, Jeremiah-"[/i]

[i]"None of those are my name sir."[/i]

[i]"I know I'm just teasing, SO!"[/i] the rex clapped his hands. [i]"Whattaya got for me?"[/i]

[i]"I got eight cars, two of which are untaxed and cannot be claimed for insurance!"[/i] The gecko slipped his photos and notes over the desk. [i]"I wish I had super strength to move them out of the way bu-"[/i]

[i]"You can't save everything Jones,"[/i] Mr. Termon looked through the notes, [i]"but at the very least you can help make sure the right people are getting compensation for all these attacks. But now, it's time to lawyer up!"[/i]

Brief scenes of legal paperwork flowed past as the incredible superhero used his powers of reasoning to file and process motions, calling up plaintiffs and sending off nastygrams to prosecutors with aggressive ballyhoo, all to the most exciting music and whooshing camera angles that beamed on pens and printers.

[i]"Hoo!"[/i] Jerry slammed into his seat. [i]"Think that was the fastest we ever litigated!"[/i]

[i]"Yeah seriously,"[/i] Termon cracked his knuckles leaning back in his seat, [i]"some damn fine work you did there Jules."[/i]

[i]"Does this happen in any other city? Seriously I feel like this place is a magnet for alien attacks remember last month?"[/i]

[i]"Ahhhh yes, First Schekuun Wave...well like I always say."[/i]

[i]"If it bleeds, we can represent it!"[/i] both of them cried with fingers to the sky and a fistbump to each other.

[i]"Not gonna lie,"[/i] said the rex, [i]"since your family showed up business has been good litigation-wise."[/i]

[i]"Well yanno,"[/i] Jerry rubbed his neck, [i]"just trying to do our part Mr. Termon, you know I don't MEAN to make more business."[/i]

[i]"No no of course not Jess, though I have to admit falsifying your name to get you on the bar was...very interesting."[/i]

[i]"I'm sorry, thank you again for being so chill with this, just my parents CAN'T know about this."[/i]

[i]"Nah it's fine,"[/i] he waved dismissive, [i]"not everyone likes lawyers, we get a bad rap in the media so some people out there still think ill of us."[/i]

[i]"It's just, being a superhero is fine long as I keep it secret from the public, so I think it's only fair I get to keep one secret from them."[/i]

[i]"I understand."[/i] The rex grinned with a patient nod. [i]"I appreciate you giving me your trust Jack, besides not the first time I had to falsify a name."[/i]

[i]"Wait, really?"[/i]

[i]"I may or may not have supplied students in my high school with cheat sheets for study tests, can neither confirm nor deny."[/i]

[i]"Wow...heh, alright so uhhh what should I start with-"[/i]

[i]"Um, h-hello?"[/i] A wolf gingerly knocked at the door. [i]"I-is this Termon and Termon?"[/i]

[i]"Yes I'm Mr. Termon, how can I help?"[/i]

[i]"I um...require some legal aid."[/i] She shuffled in with an awkward gait and grabbed a seat with both hands. [i]"My son was hurt in the recent attack, and I'm looking for legal representation."[/i]

[i]"Oh...I-i see, well,"[/i] the T-rex bent forwards with hands clasped, [i]"firstly is your son alright?"[/i]

[i]"Well, no, he's still trapped and the local representatives are refusing to free him."[/i]

[i]"What?!"[/i] Jerry stood up aghast. [i]"Th-that's terrible, why would they do that?!"[/i]

[i]"I do not know, he was just lost, and scared, h-he was searching for me because we got separated in our descent to your planet!"[/i]

[i]"Wait...our planet?"[/i]

[i]"Yes."[/i] She tapped her arm as her face shed itself to reveal a multi-eyed abscess that shook the reptiles. [i]"My name is Glagnerian...I am a Hyypraxian."[/i]

[i]"A Hyypwhatsian?"[/i] muttered Jerry.

[i]"Must be Armenian,"[/i] joked Termon.

[i]"Your company said 'if it bleeds, we can represent it',"[/i] said the alien, [i]"well...I want you to represent me, and my son in court!"[/i]

[i]"...just out of curiosity,"[/i] the gecko tapped his fingers nervously, [i]"is your son the giant alien that's currently half-melted in a parking lot?"[/i]

[i]"YES, that is him!"[/i]

[i]"O-ohhhh supernope."[/i]

The screen blacked out to credits and a gentler version of the intro played over a hero's emblem.

"Alrigh' oi'll admit," said Ashwin behind him, "that weren't as stupid as oi thought."

"Yeah right?!" James grinned with a bounce. "I wanna watch more, you think Mrs. Vanderlik'll let us watch it?"

"Dunno why dontcha ask 'er?"

"E-eeep!"

The zebra came back leaning against the doorframe with a bag full of frozen food.

"Didn' I tell yous not to touch anythin'?"

"I-I'm sorry," whimpered James, "I-i just wanted to watch this cool new show, w-we don't got a TV at the orphanage."

"It's fine, since it wuz just the TV, but next time you ask fer permission. Anyways lit's chow down with sum ice."

"YEAH!"

After putting away the frozen food, she handed them the tub of ice cream along with two spoons, whilst she herself had a bag full of mixed confectioneries ranging from hard-shelled candy to chocolate bars to gummy chews.

"Mmmmm!" the raptor felt his teeth tingling cold. "Dat's gooood!"

"Hehehe yeah," Ashwin chomped on his spoon, "god oi missed this."

"When'd we last have ice cream?"

"Got me mate, last year wuz a real blur."

"You boys excited fer the new year?" asked Vanderlik chewing a nutbar.

"Dunno really," the pachyderm shrugged, "wot they plannin' fer 3500 anyway?"

"Herd there wuz gunna be a big event, party all through Trafalgar an' reachin' all out to 'ere even, block party, get pumped fer the 36th century!"

"Why?" asked James smacking his lips. "Whut's gonna happen?"

"Who knows," she shrugged widely, "could mean more money fer the rest of us, maybe your area could even get a few places open."

"Pfft, fat chance o' that," Ashwin scooped a fat wad of cream, "only thing that's been around longer than us is Sy an' that mini-mart down the road!"

"Yeaaah..." the zebra scratched her head with fingers through her dark mane, "wish they kept Grenfell open, thet care 'ome wuz real good fer you."

"Yeah well wotcha gonna do," the elephant headlocked the raptor with a grin, "least gettin' sent down to Croydon oi met James 'ere."

"Heeheeheeh," James grinned with a tender slap to Ashwin's cheek, "yeah we're like best friends, we're gonna be together forever!"

"Here's hopin'!" Vanderlik crossed her fingers. "Still got me friends back in Joburg I chet to sumtimes on the net."

"Why'd you leave, isn't Africa like SUUUUPER rich an' got lotsa money!?"

"Yeah but it's 'ard to set a business up, buyin' property in Joburg's just crazy, London well, you got a lig up 'ere if yer smart abou' the real estate game."

"Yeah but...why'd you come HERE?" James pointed at the ground. "London sucks, maybe uhhh...France is better?"

"Hhheheheh, yeaaaah but..." she winked with a scritch of her snout, "who's gonna give ya ice cream without me?"

"Mmmmm yeah, okay-A-AAAAH, NNNNNHHH!"

"Hhhahahaha, awwww shit," Ashwin cackled slapping his knee, "you got brain freezed again?!"

"Sh-SHUT UUUUUP NNNN[i]NNNNGH![/i]" the raptor clasped his head with a burning cold migraine.

"Pfffft oi warned ya mate, you ate too fast this 'appened last toime you twat!"

"AaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!"

Once the raptor recovered from his frozen tonsils, the boys emptied their ice cream and Mrs. Vanderlik filled their pockets with money as they went back onto the street, seeing the sky become darker with the prospect of rain as the late afternoon arrived with stalls packing up, people wheeling their wares back to their homes and storage lots whilst Ashwin and James returned to the orphanage.

Days passed by in a blur as January swept through the streets, the slushing snow melting as white polar hills dripped and crumbled from the pelting periods of rain, sunshine barely creeping through as James watched from his classroom window. Numbers and words flew across his pages, jumbled notes and scribbles of monsters that filled the blank spaces. Night-time streets glowed like rivers of lightning, roads becoming slick as cars rumbled through the street, both upon it and above with and without wheels. What little trees there were amongst the black-and-brown landscape struggled to bloom, dead reaching limbs stiffening once again with desperate life as buds unfurled and softly flicked open with tender green leaves. Stretching and plumpening with a vital force that pulsed through each tendril as veins thickened to form a waxen sheen, slowly but surely covering the trees with a mantle of verdant strength.

Birds fluttered past, unchanged since the dawn of time, small flightless princes of the sky that dove between the streets and perched upon nests high atop buildings. Eggs began to crack, the sounds of hatchlings never heard despite James watching one bird flit back and forth to its nest, tiny soft heads bobbing from a pile of twigs. Valentine cards passed over his desk, but none had his name as day after day his book filled up more and more with the stuff his brain forgot. Then he saw it. The rabbit offering chocolate eggs as a cardboard stand outside the mini-mart with daffodil stickers appearing across every storefront. Grass started growing in the barest patches as the cloak of winter faded more and more with each sunrise that he blinked past.

"-demonstrating the futility of the war," droned a tortoise teacher, "equating him and his fellow soldiers to expendable pawns. Now, for this assignment, I want you to imagine you are trapped in the trenches like our character is, and to write a letter to someone you care for deeply."

He crossed over towards the whiteboard where a picture of miserable humans sat in trenches was displayed.

"Imagine you are cold and filthy, you are starved and your friends around you have lost their limbs, they've been blinded, you might have lost a leg yourself, and you won't know if you will ever see tomorrow, or even know how long this war shall be. Write your letters as if it's the last thing you will do, put all your feelings out for as much as you're comfortable with."

The students were not comfortable with this. They tried regardless as they were each given a single sheet of paper doublesided as they wrote what they could with the most awkward display of emotions they could exhibit. As a result most of their letters felt stilted, compromised and halting in their flow before the teacher read over each of their work. Ending on James and Ashwin, the raptor stood before the tortoise in a white vest with grey shorts whilst the elephant wore a crimson set of pants and shirt.

"Not even a full page Campbell?" the teacher leaned over his letter.

"I-i, sorry," he shrugged.

"Surely you have much more to tell than this."

"I dunno, I couldn't think."

"Normally you have a very active imagination I'm surprised you couldn't bring yourself to the trenches."

"Y-yeah...sorry."

"Well, there's always next time, but I urge you to bring your imagination to this classroom, I know that you have plenty to offer, I wish to know all the stories my students have to tell. Now, Ashwin."

The elephant stepped forwards as the tortoise held up his letter.

"This...this, is remarkable."

"Yeah?" he muttered.

"It is...I, was not expecting this from you and I admit that...I..." he slipped a hand over his beak and pinched the bridge between his eyes, "I am trying hard not to weep for the sake of professionalism but your letter is absolutely beautiful."

"Just a letter sir jeez," he rubbed his fingers looking away, "s'nothing special cummon yer makin' me feel weird."

"I'm sorry." The teacher sighed deep to collect his thoughts. "Your...common usage combined with your narrative focusing almost spiral-like towards your family is a very clever means of constructing a story, within the context of a singular message. Your development of family hierarchy in first to last spoken, your references to memories of holiday practices is especially poignant. In fact I would dare say it is one of the best things I have seen written in all my years at this place."

"Uh...th-thanks Mr. Tolland," Ashwin smirked with an odd shrug, "soooo uhhh we good?"

"Yes. I think that will do for today, you can all leave and enjoy yourselves an early lunch, take care children."

The class bolted out with smiles of relief as they departed seven minutes before the bell would ring, racing to the hall to grab the best seats whilst James and Ashwin headed out through the fence door and back onto Penge Road where the streets had dried out from the damp of winter, with more children in prams being tarried about by new mothers of the year with pride at their blessing, old and young alike cooing over the new pups and kittens that giggled and gawped at the strangers and relatives that passed them by. The sun shone brighter as they went to Sy's place once again, the orca smirking as they walked on in.

"Ey boys, glad to see ya's."

"Hi Sy!" James waved to him. "How's you?"

"Ahhh no' too bad, the usual?"

"With two cokes," said Ashwin pulling out his change, "everythin' alrigh' wit' you?"

"Mmmm well spring is here," Sy handed over two pies and drinks, "gotta worry about less customers."

"You should sell chocolate eggs!" cried the raptor taking his.

"Which I'd hafta buy an' they're expensive. Speakin' of money you boys needin' more cash?"

"Sure!"

"Well there's a friend o' moine in Brixton who's lookin' fer a quick pair o' hands, I told 'im you two may be up fer it."

"Wot sorta job?" Ashwin chewed his meat suspicious.

"Nothin' illegal if that's what yer thinkin', christ you have no faith in me lad?"

"Only for yer pies, not in yer biz."

"Hmhmhm you cheeky bastard, alrigh' then well IF you wanna see fer yourself I wrote down his address."

"Alrigh' sure we moigh' as well, thanks mate."

"Take care boys."

He handed Ashwin a note as the boys left, checking over the address upon it as they decided to hop on the bus and head north to Brixton, a district halfway between their home and the Thames where the seagulls became ravenous. Tower blocks loomed above like oblong tombs as they found their stop next to a large estate, graffiti covering the length and breadth of the entire street in both directions with rabid skulls and fierce flames that scarred across storages and apartment floors. The sounds of portable speakers boomed with powerful bass, rumbling their stomachs as low-riding cars trundled past that bulls drove whilst lizards sat on top, banging their heads to the deep deafening rhythm of the streets that snarled beneath their feet. Children ran in small gangs throughout the complex, dogs and lizards and lions climbing over roofs and scrambling up drainpipes with rakish claws as mothers shouted furiously from windows much to the jeering whoops and cackles of half-feral youths that leapt across the skyline with rapacious agility.

Flying cars did not come to this place, a wide berth given as they noticed a lot of green colours flying throughout the streets from the clothes to the graffiti, tracksuits and hoodies on every neighbour that passed them by with sneering looks of suspicion that Ashwin gave back in turn with a glower. The word "[b]MAINLINE[/b]" could be seen repeated throughout the projects in various styles with twisting wreaths of flame and violent howling faces, all of whom were anthro. The only humans that were seen painted on the walls were either dead piles of bodies or faceless soldiers aiming towards the beasts.

"I never been here before," muttered James keeping close.

"S'not a great place to be," said Ashwin, "worse if yer a human."

"Why?"

"You really gotta ask that Jim, you of all people?"

"Wh-whutcha mean?"

Ashwin pointed over towards a mural at the end of a parking lot. A burning building where steel wings flourished above as the angel of the death, screaming the words "[b]REMEMBER THE SAVILE SEVEN[/b]" across the front of the shattered windows. James looked up to his friend nervously before a voice called out.

"Ey you, boys."

They turned towards a grizzled polar bear that sat in the corner of the lot, huddled in blankets with his white fur now soggen to a filth-ridden brown.

"Where you boys from?"

"Croydon down south," Ashwin gestured behind, "wot's it to ya?"

"Just checking, worried you two might be runaways."

"We're not, for starters you'd have to have a home an' parents to run away from."

"...fair nuff," he shrugged, "what you boys wanting?"

"We're lookin' fer this address." Ashwin handed over the note, "know where it is?"

"Hmmm..." the ursine struggled to focus with glassy eyes before pointing east, "that's Berkowitz's place, up that way but it's not a place for kids like you."

"Whysat?"

"This is Mainliner turf. Oh they won't hurt you, you're not human you'll be fine here, but you're too good an' young to get mixed up in business like this."

"Mister Sy said it wuzn't illegal stuff," said James rubbing his claws, "is it?"

"Hmmm...just promise me something." The bear took James' hand with an earnest look. "Promise that as soon as you're asked to do something illegal, you walk away. Alright?"

"O-okay."

"No worries sir," Ashwin patted the raptor's head, "we'll be careful."

"Good."

Leaving the homeless bear they went up along the eastern street to find the address in the form of an old music shop called "Dante's Allegro", a dowdy place with old instruments left displayed on the windowsill from drums to guitars to the rare turntable set in the midst of them all as they stepped inside with a bell jingling over their heads. An old wizened lion with pale mane and a black skullcap upon his head gazed at them from across the red counter.

"Well well, hello there how can I help you?"

"Sy sent us," began Ashwin, "yanno, Sy's Pies, big orca?"

"Ahhhh yes, he said he knew two lads up for jobs. Daniel Berkowitz."

The lion offered his paw that they both shook.

"I thought yer name wuz Dante," James pointed outside, "cuz the place is called that?"

"Hahaha nah, that was my father, I just kept the name because it sounds cool. Anyways I have a few small jobs I could use some help with."

"Just so long as there's nuthin' illegal," said the elephant sweeping his hands, "we don' wan' any dirty money."

"No no nothing of the sort, but I appreciate your integrity. No these are just some small odd jobs that I don't have time for with my age and having to manage the shop, normally my assistant is around but he developed scurvy."

"Scurvy?" asked James cocking his head. "Whut's that?"

"Vitamin deficiency, now I have these flyers," he swivelled round to a stack of papers behind him, "I need to have them put up all along the street where they're good and visible."

"O-okay, sure!"

He lifted the stack over to them as the two youths took a look at its front cover. A reptile draped in a deep indigo cloak with a dog wielding a guitar as they stood back to back, facing the hordes of darkness that glowered around them with show times listed throughout the year in different venues of the country.

"Reiki an' K.K?" muttered Ashwin. "Never 'eard of 'em."

"They've become quite the indie stars," said Berkowitz stroking his mane, "I listened to some of their stuff, the lady sings like an angel and her friend's got some masterful fingers on him!"

"Wot kinda music they do?"

"Mostly folk-hop, tend to switch between acoustic and electronic depending on the day, able to straddle nicely between the alternative and the mainstream."

"Huh...you gonna go see 'em?"

"Oh I'd love to, if I can grab the tickets fast enough or uhhh, if...some come along my way."

He gave a side-eye and a lurid chuckle before waving the boys out the door with two sets of flyers. Most of their spots were chosen by Ashwin for max visibility, taking the length of the projects as they agreed to put half the flyers on each side of the current street but always keeping close whilst older teenage bulls jeered from their low-rider.

"HEY, CIRCUS IS THAT WAY DUMBO!"

"YEAH WELL 'ERE'S A MAGIC TRICK FOR YA!" Ashwin raised his finger with James. "COME CLOSER AN' WE'LL MAKE 'EM DISAPPEAR, STRAIGHT UP YER ARSE!"

"HAHAHA, WITH YOUR WEEDY-ASS FINGERS YOU COULD FIST ME AN' I WON'T FEEL IT!"

"MAYBE STOP BORROWIN' YER UNCLE'S DILDOS THEN YA WEIRD SHIT!"

"[i]OHOHOHHHHH![/i]"

The boys jostled their friend who seemed to take it well, waving the two off with a thumbs up and grinning with approval at the jibe whilst the banger crunched and grinded its rear, sparking hydraulics across the ground.

"Why's everyone so mean here?" asked James.

"Just 'ow they are," shrugged Ashwin slapping poster on a pole, "most of 'em are all fluff they don' mean that much harm, unless yer a human."

"People are nicer back where we live."

"Yeah cuz everyone feels sorry fer us livin' in Croydon. God oi hate Croydon."

"Why?" James slapped a flyer onto a wall. "We got food, an' a place to stay-"

"Grenfell wuz better, close to Portobello, didn' have any friends but at least people were 'appy, not loik Croydon were everyone looks they're about to 'ead to a funeral."

"Why did it close down?"

"Council are toight-arsed pricks, wanted to 'beautify' the place, get rid of all the li'l orphans dirtyin' up the streets."

"That's not fair!" the raptor slammed another poster up.

"Yeaaaah well," Ashwin smoothed out a new flyer, "least oi got to meet you eh?"

He smiled attempting as James shrugged awkwardly, finishing their work within the hour as they returned back to the shop. Berkowitz was busy selling a guitar to a young panther who gleefully tried to strum it.

"Awww SWEET!"

"Now take good care of it young lad," said the lion, "one day when you become famous, the more intact this stays, the more priceless it shall become."

"Y-yeah, totally, thanks so much for the lessons too!"

"Anytime." He waved the youth off as James and Ashwin returned. "Helloooo there my lads, are you interested in music?"

"Nah," said Ash brushing his trunk, "we done all yer flyers sir."

"Good good."

"You do music lessons too?" asked James.

"Yes I was a music teacher when my father had this shop."

"Surprised this place even stayed open," the elephant tapped his fingers on the desk, "everythin' else out there didn't."

"What can I say my family made good investments, sometimes it's not about the fastest boat, it's about having a boat that you built not to sink."

"If I had a boat," popped up James, "I'd just go out to sea, an' I'd never come back!"

"Yeah you an' me both," said Ashwin wrapping his trunk round James' neck, "we grab ourselves a li'l yacht and just sail out to Norway, or maybe Denmark sumplace out east."

"Hmhmhm, well until then," said Berkowitz pulling out a small bag of coins, "here's a small thank-you for helping."

"Aw sweet thanks!"

"You boys heading back now, or would you like something else to do?"

"Uhhh we could still do stuff, s'not dinner toime yet."

"Well you especially uhh, I didn't catch your names."

"Oi'm Ashwin this is James," the elephant pointed with his trunk, "but remember we're not doing any criminal stuff."

"Yeah no crinimal sutff!" James waved his hands.

"No no, no worries," the lion gestured dismissively, "I wouldn't bring you boys into that sort of thing unless you asked."

"Wait, really, if we just asked-"

"NOPE!" Ashwin batted his hand in front. "Just give us a clean job mate."

"Alright then," Berkowitz simpered as he handed them a photograph, "a friend of mine was forced from his home and left behind a few belongings. I need you to go to the address and pick up the objects, there should be no one there."

"No worries," Ash looked over the picture seeing the address on its back, "just a couple o' odds an' bobs an'-"

"FUCKIN' WARMBLOODS!"

"CHILDREN GET BACK!"

[b][i]KRRRSSHHH![/i][/b]

Berkowitz grabbed both their arms and pulled them behind the counter when something crashed through the window. Fire burst across guitars and swarmed the ground from a broken bottle as Berkowitz immediately grabbed a small fire extinguisher beneath his desk.

"ALL MAMMALS SHALL BE JUDGED, THE GREAT JANUS SHALL CLEANSE THIS WORLD!"

"WOT THE FUCK 'APPENED?!" cried Ashwin.

"JUST KEEP BACK!" Daniel shouted blasting CO2. "I have this under control-W-WAIT, BOYS NO!"

"CUMMON JIM THIS PRICK'S GETTIN' AWAY!"

The raptor rushed out with Ashwin before he could think, stepping onto the street in front of the burning shop as a young teenage dilophosaurus started to run. The two gave chase, quickly flagging down the saurian with a blue crested snout as he swung back towards the elephant.

"FUCK OFF!"

"NO YOU DON'T!" The elephant tackled him rugby-style to throw him to the ground. "Fuck ya doing you stupid bastard?!"

"TAKING THIS EARTH BACK FROM YOU FILTHY MAMMALS!"

"[i]HNNNGH![/i]"

The saurian kicked him hard in the gut and threw him off, but then James suddenly leapt at his long neck and frantically choked him with a fist at his face.

"DON'T HURT MY FRIEND!"

"GA-AARGH, GET OFF YOU PRICK!"

He rolled fast to his left to pin James underneath, grabbing the raptor by the scruff of his neck and punching across his face twice before Ashwin shouldercharged him from aside into a tumbling roll. Staggering back up, all three of them stared down at each other, the firestarter in black jeans and a long-sleeved shirt masking the weapons he still carried in his belt.

"What's YOUR problem," he shouted at the raptor, "you're one of us!"

"NO I'M NOT!" shouted James. "You just tried to burn us alive you SHITHEAD!"

"You shouldn't be hanging around with mammals like some fucking pet, the great Janus is coming to wipe out all these warmblood FREAKS, like they shoulda been years ago!"

"Wot fuckin' dogshit you been smokin'?!" brayed Ashwin baring his teeth. "You wanna start sumthin', come at me like a real guy instead of throwin' fires loik sum fuckin' terrorist PRICK!"

"THIS WORLD BELONGED TO US, WE WERE HERE FIRST, AND YOU VERMIN [i]STOLE IT FROM US![/i]"

The dilophosaur came charging towards Ashwin as people watched from the roofs and windows, stopping in their tracks and looking out with shock and bemusement by the teenage saurian that swung a huge fist at the elephant, who ducked back and sucker-punched him with a boxer's swerve. The punk gasped with furious wheeze before grabbing the elephant's trunk, yanking it hard to make his eyes water before slamming his knee into the stomach.

"[i]LET 'IM GOOOOO![/i]"

James came shrieking from behind as he leapt on the terrorist's back, wrapping both arms round his neck and yanking him hard away from Ashwin before climbing up the back to drive him face-first into the ground. Crunching his snout in the pavement, the dilophosaur felt James' bare feet kicking and stomping his head with as before he rolled onto his back and snap-kicked the raptor hard in the chin sending him flying back. Tears flowed from James' reddened face, pain bursting in his head as he launched blindly towards the dilophosaur to grab his arm and bite him with sharp little fangs that jabbed through the scales.

"A-AAAAAGH Y-YOU FUCKIN'- GET OFF, GET OFFA ME!"

Snarling and champing at the bit, the raptor dug as hard as he could until his jaws began to quiver from the tension with the dilophosaur punching his face. The more he pummelled the tighter the raptor clenched, salivating with frenzy before he released just when Ashwin came tearing down upon their foe with a thundering bootkick, the force of a battering ram straight into his chest bowling him back across the street as the audience started to cheer on the youths.

"NICE ONE DUMBO!"

"YEAH GET THAT LITTLE SHIT!"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!"

"Pfft you think they're gonna come round HERE?!"

"Wow look at that little guy go he's really scrappin'!"

"Where are these boys' parents could someone PLEASE stop them fighting?!"

Ashwin stomped towards the dilophosaur who whipped his tail fast at the elephant's legs to knock him down, stumbling enough to give an opening as the amateur terrorist leapt onto Ashwin's chest, beating him across his face with raking slash-punches before something clonked him hard in the side of his skull.

"GNNNNRH!"

"YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?!" shrieked James wielding a small brick. "YOU TOUCH MY FRIEND AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU!"

"YOU FUCKIN' RACE TRAITOR!"

The crowd gasped as the teen made a rush towards the raptor child, James leaping onto a nearby car hood before slamming his brick down towards the dilophosaur's head. The older punk dodged and grabbed James' leg sending him down against the rusted hood, the boy kicking hard at his face with long toeclaws that scratched at his eye and made him stagger before he stumbled up and swiped his armed fist against the hooligan's snout, knocking him back farther before he pounced like a tiger cub ready to crush his skull before the dilophosaurus grabbed his wrist and clocked him with a full thrust to the jaw. He was about to grab the raptor's shirt for another beating before Ashwin grabbed the teen by the back of his shirt and threw him down the street, rolling into a dustcloud as the crowd whooped it up.

"Think yer big fer beatin' up a kid are ya?!" taunted Ashwin. "Thought you could just smash sum guy's place up withou' gettin' yer head kicked in ya miserable li'l TWAT!?"

"You..." the thug stood up reaching for his belt, "you won't be talkin' so big when I skin you."

"[i]HE'S GOT A KNIFE![/i]"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"DUDE LOOK OUT!"

Cries of panic and jeering came as people started tossing bottles and stones at the dilophosaur who had pulled out a switchblade, coming towards Ashwin with its gleaming tip as a pulse of fear shook through him briefly. Tighening his ribs he lowered himself into a wrestling stance, waiting for the right moment to dodge the lethal weapon as the dilophosaur charged.

"[i]F-FUCK-AAARGH![/i]"

"[i]FUCK OOOOOOOFF![/i]"

The dilophosaur suddenly tripped when something cracked his leg, stumbling hard onto his front but still tightly holding his blade after James hurled a small brick at his feet before jumping on top of him. The raptor immediately went for the hand holding the knife, pinning the arm with all his weight and trying to twist the flesh around the wrist with raking claws. The punk slammed James' head with a back-turning elbow from his other arm forcing him off, his face wrought with fury as he grabbed the raptor's shirt with his blade up high.

"You wanna live with fuckin' mammals so bad?!"

"A-A-A-A-AAIIE!"

"You can die with the rest o' these filthy rugheads instea-RRAAAARH!"

"[i]AAAARRRGH![/i]"

"[i]ASHWIIIIN![/i]"

The elephant's scream came only seconds after both the saurians did, Ashwin trying to grab the terrorist's arm before he suddenly turned and slashed at Ashwin's chest, gouging the shirt and cutting thinly above the sternum with a line of red forming. James grabbed the arm with the blade and drove his knee hard into its elbow causing a spasm that threatened to drop it, but the hooligan kicked him away with a stinging elbow crush to the face and a rear horsekick to knock him fully back, before marching towards the elephant clutching his chest as a smile grew on his azure snout. People became more frantic, but too worried to do anything as they tried to throw more garbage at the punk with little success, the blood thickening between Ashwin's fingers.

"DON'T DO IT!"

"[i]THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU?![/i]"

"GET OUTTA HERE YOU FUCKIN' DICK!"

"Yanno, humans used to kill your kind," he raised his knife towards his face, "why don't I take your teeth for a trophy-[i]GA-AAAAIIIIIRGH![/i]"

"Forgot...about the trunk, didntcha?!"

The pachyderm's snout suddenly wrapped round the dilophosaur's limb with the strength of a python, strangling the wrist as bone started to creak with tightening shudders in his fingers as he struggled to hold his knife that feverishly made attempts to stab inwards at the trunk. His legs became weak from the increasing pain as miniature cracks could be heard and he winced harder with blistering eyes until he at last dropped his weapon, the elephant kicking it away as he loomed over the would-be terrorist.

"So much fer takin' it back, ya fuckin' nonce."

"N-NNNGH, a-aaaaagh!"

"HEY ANY OF YOU WANNA HELP OR SUMTHIN'?!" he shouted to the audience. "Not loik two kids were gonna get fuckin' stabbed or nuthin' while you all watch loik it's a fuckin' movie!"

"HE HAD A KNIFE!" cried one bull shrugging.

"YEAH AN' YER BIGGER THAN ME WOT'S YOUR EXCUSE YOU FUCKIN' BEEFSTEAK?! JAMES, YOU ALRIGH'?!"

"I'M OKAY!" cried the raptor rubbing his face with welling tears. "A-are you?!"

"Yeah mate, just a scratch. Just another day in London roigh'?"

"R-right, yeah."

"Oh my GOD are you boys alright?!" Berkowitz came stumbling out of his shop where the smoke finally ceased. "That was stupid of you running off chasing after him like that!"

"He tried to BURN US ALIVE!" shouted the raptor.

"S'WHAT YOU GET!" spat the dilophosaur up at him. "The great fire'll come and Pangaea will be reborn again, and if you're not one of us, you'll be judged by Janus like the rest o' these fuckin' rats-A-AAAAARGH!"

"Shuddup!" Ashwin twisted his trunk tighter round his wrist. "Unless you wanna lose this 'and you'll keep yer mouth shut 'til the police come."

With the help of a few locals they restrained the dilophosaurus until the police arrived forty minutes later, whilst Berkowitz cleaned and bandaged Ashwin's wound to stop the bleeding. The amateur terrorist was cuffed and thrown into the back of a hovering police car before a female camel approached them in officer's clothes.

"You boys got more than your bargained for."

"Yeah," shrugged Ashwin, "just yanno 'ow it is ma'am."

"You're lucky to be alive, you should never take on someone with a knife unless you're trained."

"We didn't know he had one!" James threw up his hands. "Maybe if you got here sooner!"

"Well we can't be everywhere at once, just be glad you're alive and the next time someone pulls a weapon you stay away from them."

"Wot loik them lot did?" Ashwin thumbed behind to the crowd of locals. "Just watchin' the show whilst two kids're bout to get stabbed?!"

"Two kids who could have just run at any time and called us sooner." The camel crossed her arms with a flick of her tongue. "What would your parents think if I had to go to their door and tell them their sons were stabbed?"

"You'd hafta raise yer voice real loud cuz they're buried six feet under."

The elephant smacked his lips as he savoured the realisation on her face. The officer put a hand to her head with a heavy sigh.

"I...I'm sorry. I didn't reali-"

"It's foine, now is there anythin' ya need or can we go?"

"Just a few details about the incident," she flipped out her notebook, "names?"

"Ashwin Venkatanarasimha, James Campbell."

"Do you have guardians, places of residence?"

"Iqra Monassi Trust, fifty-seven Penge Road."

"Alright...would you like me to drive you back, save you the bus fare-"

"Nah it's foine we got return tickets."

"Are you sure?" she leaned down to face him.

"Yeah, oi'm sure ma'am," he met her softened gaze with cold steel.

"Very well...so, what happened?"

Once they gave their details they were allowed to leave with the raptor and elephant taking the bus back to Croydon. At the orphanage gate Ms. Okowengo stood outside with a vape, puffing quietly to herself before spotting the two youths and their multiple wounds.

"What the-what in God's name happened to you?!"

"Nuthin' to worry abou' miss," Ashwin waved as he walked past into the yard.

"Is that a-what, what happened to your shirt?!"

"Nuthin' it's foine!"

"It certainly is not fine, you two have been fighting!"

"We almost got stabbed!" shouted James. "Can we go now, my feet hurt!"

"Sta-...are you serious?"

"Yeah wanna see?" Ashwin lifted the bandage to show the bladed scar across his sternum much to her shock.

"Oh my god, alright but you have to tell me everything!"

"You can just watch the news they prob'ly caught it, anyways later miss."

"Um...alright, later."

"Are they really gonna put it on the news?" asked the raptor as they entered the building.

"Dunno," Ashwin tried to breathe with a wince, "could come out local heroes, ya never know."

"Heroes?"

"Yeah, yanno, 'ave-a-go heroes, people just outta the blue doin' good things loik rescuin' people or stoppin' criminals."

"Heroes are...real?" gasped James.

"Well of course they are," Ashwin scoffed smacking his head with his trunk, "evil people're real so, heroes have to be as well, roigh'?!"

"I-i guess..." the raptor looked at his bandaged chest, "does it hurt?"

"Only when oi breathe, don' worry Jim. We just gotta be more careful gettin' our money up but yanno wot, this?" He tapped at his covered wound with a soft gasp. "This wuz a good lesson fer us to know that we gotta learn to defend ourselves."

"Right," James nodded, "soooo what do we do?"

"Remember Ema's Island, that place we used to go where we 'ad our first wank?"

"Yeah, that old uhhh, hospital place!"

"Roigh', so next toime we're out we takes a trip up to the place an' learn a few things, we got sum comics, maybe check out a couple movies fer research-"

"OOOOH YEAH MOVIES!" the raptor cried with clapping hands. "That'll be awesome!"

"But it's research," stressed Ashwin with a finger, "we 'ave fun with all this but we need to learn to foigh', you especially."

"I know how to fight!"

"Yeah but we can do better, so next toime sum twat with a blade comes at us we don' get scratched, if we can end a foigh' withou' a bruise then we're good."

"Mmmmmm, okay, but it's not gonna be boring right, like we don't have to write stuff?"

"Nah nah it's just loike P.E, yanno just run aroun', do a li'l sparrin' loike them kung-fu artists do, actually we should definitely watch some o' them Asian movies when we get a chance."

"It's fer RESEARCH!"

The two bumped their elbows together with a "SUP!" as they gleefully went to dinner, planning the next stage of their operation over peas, potatos and fake-steaks with a curious look from many children over Ashwin's fresh wound as rumours abounded through the place. By the time they were in bed they had fulfilled a list of "research material" for the coming months as Ashwin stowed away their money and papers within his secret hiding spot just behind his bed's headrest. The summer was going to be the busiest season for the city.