FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

CONTENT WARNING: threatening behaviour, foul language, sexual kink, T

FIRST INTERMISSION

“...so Jerry was his plush toy all along?” Guy Lelland took a sip of cocoa from his new Korps cup and thought. “Say, are you sure you’re doing A Christmas Carol tonight? It’s more like Citizen Kane!”

Vector put a finger to Guy’s lips and shushed him. “Tap hasn’t seen Citizen Kane yet!” he whispered.

Tap seemed to warp into their presence. “What about Citizen Kane?” she said.

“Oh, nothing... just...” Guy looked quickly around himself at the others; Tap didn’t look as if she’d let it go without an explanation, Vector’s ears were starting to sink and his expression was anxious. “I think your boyfriend wants to watch it with you,” Guy concluded.

“Oh! Vector isn’t my boyfriend...”

“He’s my boyfriend!” Blindspot said, wrapping a possessive arm around Vector’s narrow shoulders. (When had the big badger come in?)

Guy watched the pair for a moment, then smiled.

“Aw, what a cute couple! You look like Jeremy and Jerry in happier times!”

Blindspot’s smile broadened and he hugged Vector closer. Vector smiled too, and his inner ears turned a little pink. Tap leaned closer to Guy.

“Compliment Vector!” she whispered. “Go nuts with it!”

Guy cleared his throat. “Although you have the cuter bunny,” he said. “Look at that face, so symmetric, so sweet! And his long throat, how do you resist nibbling it? And look at his chest, slender and well defined right down to his waist, then those perfect bikini hips! A perfect pretty bunny! Oh, but you know what his prettiest feature is? Those ears! Long and slender with perfect tips. Are the black tips natural?”

Vector was hiding his pretty face in his hands, wiggling in embarrassment. His long, perfect ears were laid flat against his neck and shoulders. There was a suspicious bulge in his tan shorts.

“Natural,’ he said, his voice weak. “Thank you,” he added.

“He’s acting all embarrassed,” Tap whispered, “nut he really loves it!”

“How come yer bein’ so nice to my bunny?” Blindspot said. (His tone was friendly, but with a slight edge.)

“Oh, just... just to be nice.”

Blindspot nodded. “Yer a nice guy, Guy.”

“Well, a wise man once told me, to get through life you can be oh, so smart, or oh, so pleasant. I watched Jeremy being smart. I tried pleasant.”

“Oh, are we doing Harvey now?” said the pink vixen in Vector’s watch.

Guy shivered with a look of horror. “No thank you!” he cried. “Imagine having an invisible human that only you can see haunting you! Completely flat muzzle and a big nose and no fur at all? I... I can’t even imagine it!” and he shuddered again.

“According to mythology,” Rose replied, “humans have hair on the tops of their heads, under their arms and in the region of their groins. Males may also have hair on their lower faces and on their arms, legs, backs and chests, but this hair is so sparse that it only serves to emphasize how naked their skin is otherwise. Their skin can be any shade from very pale to very dark and in some cases red or yellow. In the movie, Elwood P Dowd mentioned that Harvey was very smooth and very pale.”

“Well that might have suited Elwood P Dowd, but I’d have to be pretty drunk to want Harvey for a friend!”

“Dowd spent most of the movie being pretty drunk,” Rose replied. “Fun fact! Jimmy Stewart had modest telekinesis. Harvey was the only movie where he used it for special effects.”

”I heard about that!” Vector said. “Didn’t he use his telekinesis in the strafing scene in North By North West?”

“No,” Rose replied.” That was a practical effect. The stunt plot actually strafed him.”

Guy and the three agents gave each other stunned looks.

“That doesn’t sound very safe,” Blindspot said.

“It wasn’t,” Rose replied. “That’s why it was the last scene they shot. Alfred Hitchcock was not known for taking good care of his talent. He and Jeremy would have appreciated each other.”

Blindspot gave Vector a close snuggle. (Vector relaxed into it gratefully.) “Who stole his toy bunny?” he muttered.

Guy leaned closer to Vector’s watch where it sat on the table across from the cocoa dispenser.

“Rose, isn’t it?” he said.

“Hello,” the pink vixen replied.

“May I ask you something? It’s about that pretty rat girl.”

“Ewynn?” Rose replied, (pronouncing it “I win.”)

“Quite a name! She seems to like me, but everybody is trying to keep her away from me.”

Rose sighed. “Please understand, Guy. The purpose of The Korps is to take power away from small-c conservatism once and for all. The world is increasingly full of hatred and shame, including violence and murder, for anybody who deviates from an increasingly narrow interpretation of ‘normal.’ The Korps seeks to enforce tolerance and acceptance for what are really pretty minor deviations in behaviour. Those who have power purposefully cause all this hatred of harmless others to keep attention away from themselves while they use their power to take even more power for themselves away from people. Since it’s the basis of much of their strawman campaign, The Korps emphasizes sexual and gender freedom, among other things. We want everybody to be free to be their truest most genuine selves, sexually and otherwise.

“Incidentally, Lelland and Fellows Arts has never been a target for The Korps because your customers are entirely other businesses and because until recently you’ve been an ethical company.

“But Ewynn, well, she’s into a sexual kink that squicks even Korps agents! I have no doubt that I, too would be squicked by it if I had actual emotions.”

“Why? What... what the heck is she into?”

“Scat.

“Ewynn likes older partners. She implied that she would like to have sex with you and she meant it. But she would undoubtedly ask you...”

“What?”

“...to shit on her face. And she might eat it.”

Guy looked up at Ewynn, his expression incredulous, to find that she was looking back. Her face fell as she watched him. He looked away, ashamed.

“Rose, this scat thing, is it a kink or a fetish?”

“Congratulations on knowing the difference,” Rose replied. “It’s a kink, she can do without it. It’s one that she’s very fond of, though. She always... she’s coming.”

“I like the warmth and heaviness,” Ewynn said. “I like the feel on my face and the smell. I like watching it come out of you and onto me, like a gift. It makes you feel real to me. I can’t explain why I feel like this, it’s just me.”

“But why me?”

“Because you’re a sweet, old guy, Guy! I feel like I can trust older men. I just know I can trust you! Look how you put yourself in danger for Jeremy when he doesn’t even like you.”

“He does. I know it.”

“You could go to prison for years just for contacting ROSE! But now you’re here with us watching Jeremy go through this ‘cause you care ‘bout him. I know I can trust you, you have a good heart.”

“It is pretty strong. I swim laps with branches everyday. Ewynn, do you have a power too?”

“Tap,” Rose said, “your turn.”

Tap drained her cocoa, picked up a fresh cup, added mini marshamllows and pushed through the rear door.

“Wish me luck!” she said.

The rat girl smiled. “I have two powers!” she said. “I can manipulate combat, I can make one side win if they’re losing or force a stalemate. My other power is to manipulate fate, that’s the more powerful one. I can make things happen the way we want them to happen. But that’s an awful responsibility and The Korps doesn’t use me very often.”

“Good! It sounds like cheating the world.”

“I used it tonight though, to nudge Jeremy towards accepting the past. We kinda have to use my fate power, this would normally take a psychiatrist years and we only have one night.”

On the monitor set up over the cocoa table, Tap was saying, “You’ve been crying a lot. You lost fluids, electrolytes and strength. This’ll make you feel better.”

“Actually,” Ewynn said, “I’m watching that for my cue. I need to give Jeremy one more good nudge tonight. Guy, can I tell you something?”

The beaver nodded. The rat leaned close.

“I’m scared of my power!” she whispered. “I’m scared one day I’ll do something bad without meaning to. I don’t wanna hurt anyone!”

“Because you have a good heart!” Guy whispered back. “That’s the best insurance you could have against doing something bad.”

“You think so? And being careful, too,” Ewynn replied.

“And having a clever AI to help you make hard decisions,” Rose added.

“I love you, Rose.”

The pink vixen purred in reply.

On the monitor, Tap said “It’s something hidden!”

“Oops!” Ewynn cried. “That’’s my cue!”

“Something you’ve forgotten!” Tap added.

Ewynn quickly settled into lotus position in a chair, eyes focused on the middle distance. A faint light quickly surrounded her.

“Don’t take away his choice.” she murmured. “Just a nudge,”

“And he’s waiting right behind this tree,” Tap said.

#

STAVE THE FOURTH

Jeremy was sitting, still staring at the card Blindspot had given him when Tap got to the table. Crystal was gently petting his shoulder, Sunny stroking his arm. Tap approached quietly and sat opposite him, but smiled anyway.

“Hi, Jeremy,” she said. (Jeremy looked up slowly.) “I’m Tap, I’m your Agent of Christmas Presents.”

“Present,” the bear replied. (Tap tilted her head.) “It’s the Ghost of Christmas Present. Scrooge never sought the spirit of good will in his own heart, so the Spirit showed it to him in the hearts of others.”

Tap giggled cutely. “We’re villains!” she replied. “We don’t always go by the book. I got four presents for you! Here’s the first one.”

Tap slid the cup across the table to Jeremy. He just stared at it.

“A cup of cocoa?” he said.

“With lil’ marshmallows! You’ve been crying a lot. You lost fluids, electrolytes and strength. This’ll make you feel better. Go on, try it!”

Jeremy picked up the cup and took a sniff. What he smelled must have surprised him, because his expression was comical. Tap giggled, but stopped herself quickly. Jeremy took a sip, then a longer sip.

“It’s just like mom used to make!” he said. “How did you do it?”

“Oh, we took a couple bars of baking chocolate ‘n melted ‘em, then beat in milk ‘til it was the right consistency, then added sugar ‘til it tasted right.”

“Two whole bars?”

“We got lots of cocoa! ‘N lots of marshmallows, too. You can have more if you like. D’you feel better now?”

Jeremy took another long sip. “You know,” he said, “I do feel better.”

Tap grinned. She reached under the tree and brought out a box, (Forbidden Fuschia with a white bow.) “This is your second present. I’ll just tell you what it is, ‘cause it might not go in as easily as it comes out. It’s all the stuff we collected about you and your mom ‘n dad, the stuff Blindspot told you about. There’s home movies ‘n copies of reports from the army hospital about your dad, and the hospital he went for his heart attack, too. And there’s your grade school and high school reports and your mom’s diaries! You’re not supposed to read other people’s diaries, but maybe you should read your mom’s, they say a lot about her and your dad. And you, too. And, well, there’s lots of stuff, you’ll see when you open it.”

Jeremy opened the box anyway. He looked inside, but when he saw how full of stuff it was, we closed it again.

“You certainly stole your research well,” he said.

“We think we’re giving it to its rightful owner. That’s you.”

“You know a lot about me, you Korps agents.”

“Your company isn’t one of our targets. Until a few years ago you were ethical.”

“Then I got rid of Guy.”

“Now you’re not so ethical. But you only deal with other companies and you don’t threaten the environment, much, so we’re not too worried about you.”

“Nice to know.”

“All this research was just to help un-break your heart.” Tap gave Jeremy a sly grin. “So I got your third present.”

“Well, go on.”

“It’s something hidden!”

“What... What?”

“Something you’ve forgotten!” Tap added.

“Don’t mock my mother...”

Tap reached back to the trunk of the tree and gently took something in her hand.

“And he’s waiting right behind this tree,” she said.

“No,” Jeremy said, so softly he could barely hear himself.

Tap brought something out in both of her hands and showed it to Jeremy. It was a cloth doll, a pink, velvet bunny with dark, button eyes and a crocheted smile. Tap held it sitting in one hand. Its fluffy tail stuck over her little finger, her other hand supported its back with its lop ears draped over the back of her hand.

“Jerry!” Jeremy cried as he took the precious doll from Tap’s hands and held it up under its arms. “Jerry!” he sobbed as he held its face to his and nuzzled it, the fur around his eyes already damp with tears. “Jerry, jerry, oh my God! Jerry!”

Jeremy held little Jerry close in both arms, rocking side to side, sobbing. Tap crawled across the table and took the big bear in her arms. She held him close and rocked with him. Crystal and Sunny looked at each other through the goggles of their masks and wrapped their arms around the pair.

“I missed you!” Jeremy whimpered. “I love you!”

“Jerry missed you too, sweety,” Tap replied. (her own voice trembling a little.) “Getting back together with you was all he could talk about while we were cleaning him up for you. And now you’re back together forever and he’s so happy...” And besides that, Tap could only squeak and cuddle the big bear.

(Outside by the cocoa table, Guy was snuggling with Alice as they both cried with Jeremy in the TV monitor. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, but couldn’t pull himself back together. Neither could Alice. “Aw don’t be sorry Guy!” Blindspot whimpered. “Look ‘round, there ain’t a dry eye in the place!” Blindspot was cuddling Vector under his chin; the bunny’s fur was getting wet from his own tears and his master’s. The big wolverine down the hall took off his gas mask long enough to blow his nose. Even Rose was daubing at his holographic eyes with an equally holographic, pink, frilly handkerchief. Ewynn came out of a sort of trance, looked up at the monitor and grabbed Guy and Alice in a big hug. “We did it!” she squeaked. “We did it!”)

Jeremy turned away from his precious long enough to look Tap in her face. “Thank you,” he whimpered.

But Tap could only squeak in reply, so she settled for holding him even closer and patting Jerry’s head.

It felt like forever, but was really only about half an hour that they stayed like that, Jerry safe in Jeremy’s arms, The big bear holding him, looking at him, saying his name, over and over until at last he’d calmed down. The big wolves never let go until Tap did, (and they didn’t escape without big, warm otter hugs, too.)

“My time’s almost up,” she said, as she retreated to her side of the table. “I have one more present for you first.” She reached under the tree and pulled out another box, gift-wrapped like the others. Inside, Jeremy found a portfolio, bound in fine, scaled salmon leather and triple folded.

“Remember when you were eight and your mom wanted you to learn to do art, because she knew you loved it?”

“I hated art.”

“Uh huh. That’s why you were so good at drawing bunnies under the tables when you were only three!”

Jeremy’s mouth opened, but he found nothing to say, so he harrumphed instead. Tap giggled in reply.

“She gave you an art portfolio like this one for Christmas. It had pencils and pencil crayons and pastels and a weird sized block of plain paper to draw on. And to spite her, you broke all the pencils and threw them in your Yule fire. Then you broke all the pensil crayons and threw them in the fire, too. And you mashed up all the pastels. Your dad made you wrap them in paper from the weird drawing block first so they wouldn’t make a mess. And you mashed them up one by one and threw them in the fire. Then you tore up the cheap paper block and burned it too. And last of all you tried to burn the portfolio, which was the only part worth saving, so your mom took it away and donated it to, well, we couldn’t find out where. Your mom was really hurt by you doing that.”

“I told her I don’t like art.”

“Well it’s a good thing she made you learn anyway or who knows what kind of business you’d be in now! Maybe even something that would have attracted The Korp’s attention long ago!

“But anyway, this is a really good art portfolio. It has three good mechanical pencils and water colour pencils and a place for a wet sponge to wet them on and an ink pen and ink and pastels and it holds standard #4 art blocks, like the ones you have a ton of in your storage room. And you can make art with it or give it as a prize to one of your artists or a customer or something or jump up and down on it singing The Anvil Chorus, we won’t care!

“But please, Jeremy, promise me one thing. Promise you’ll make a picture with it first, then you can do whatever you like. Please?”

“Wh... What do you want me to draw?”

“Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”

“What?”

Tap giggled, wiggling cutely as she did. “Sorry, I had to get in one line from the book! Why don’t you draw Jerry?” she added, more seriously. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind posing for you.”

“All right, I’ll... I’ll draw Jerry, then decide what to do.”

Tap smiled and stood up. “We all knew you still had a heart,” she said. “We weren’t sure we could reach it. N’y’know what? I’m proud that we did! We’re gonna give you a few minutes to get rea... What? ...reacquainted with Jerry before we finish up. (Thanks Rose.) Drink your cocoa, you need it!”

#

SECOND INTERMISSION

“But you bunnies eat their own poop!” Ewynn exclaimed.

“It’s not the same thing!” Vector replied.

“You’re trying to say you don’t eat your own poop?”

“Look, it’s true that a rabbit’s digestive track isn’t long enough for our herbivorous diet. We can get something from fruits and veg, but grass and hay and even most of veggies take more processing than we can do. So we have two kinds of poop. There’s regular pellets, they can be flushed or they’re hard and dry enough to bag and garbage if we have to. The other is caecotrophs. They’re kinda globby and packed with nutrition we couldn’t absorb the first time through. We have to eat those.”

“See? You eat your own poop, so how come it squicks you so much when…”

“It’s not the same!” Vector roared. “Anyway, I don’t eat my caecotrophs. I douche everyday so I’m nice inside for Master to fuck.”

“Then you’re missing nutrition!”

“I eat supplements instead.”

“Supplements?”

“Every drug store and grocery has them. They’re about the size and weight of caecotrophs, they’re just as packed with nutrition and they taste a fuck of a lot better. And they don’t give you bunny breath!”

“But you only know that because…”

“Okay, yeah, before I met Master and joined The Korps I used to eat my own caecotrophs. But it’s not the same thing as your kink!”

In her hologram above Vector’s watch on the table, Rose cringed.

“Rose,” said Blindspot, “D’you believe they’re actually arguin’ over…”

“I hear what they’re arguing over, thank you!” Rose declared.

“Rose, you okay?”

“Maybe I should be grateful. I think I truly understand what uncomfortable means. It’s not a useful feeling.”

Blindspot snorted and burst into laughter.

“You can laugh!” Rose exclaimed. She turned away, her expression miserable. “I do not keep you agents busy enough!”

“Guys,” Blindspot said, snickering, “will ya quit arguin’ over shit? Yer makim’ Rose uncomfortable!”

“Rose?” said Ewynn.

“Uncomfortable?” Vector added.

They turned to look, astonished. Rose’s pink vixen glared back at them.

“Truce?” Ewynn proposed.

“Let’s just call it a draw,” Vector offered.

The back door to the break room opened and Tap walked out. She immediately went to the big samovar of cocoa and poured a cup.

“I need this!” she grunted. “That was rough!”

“My turn?” Vector said.

“We’re giving Jeremy another break,” Rose replied. “But get ready, he’s only getting a few minutes.’

Vector concentrated for a moment. The dampness in his face fur eased out as a fine mist and hung in the air. He looked around for somewhere to put it. At last he drank down his cocoa and levitated the mist into a puddle inside the cup, (as Tap and Blindspot stared.) He found and put on his RCGs.

“Rose, please take me through the list of points I need to make one more time.”

Further from the table, Alice sat close to Guy.

“Sir?” she said.

“Oh Alice, just call me Guy! You don’t work for me anymore.”

“Guy,” she said and smiled. “Soon I won’t work for Mr Fellows anymore, either.”

“Maybe little Jerry will have something to say about that.”

“He sure was happy to have his doll back. It means so much to him! But, Guy, do you really think he’s changed that much just from… um…”

“From Jerry’s missing piece being back in his life?” Guy sighed. “No. But The Korps isn’t through with him yet! Just look at that bunny! He doesn’t look very mean.”

“And that’s exactly the kind of bunny you need to be afraid of, some of our worst customers! I mean, some our most demanding customers.”

“And it takes an otter with a lot of patience to deal with them. You’re worth your weight in gold, Alice.”

Guy patted Alice’s hand. She blushed and giggled.

“Guy,” she said, “are you really considering… that rat girl… I mean… sex with her?”

“Ewynn?” Guy sighed. “Since Melissa died, I’ve been lonely. I miss her, but not just that. Melissa and I, not to be too personal, but the fact is we had a pretty active…”

“Life?”

“Sex life. If you can be brave enough to just say it, so can I. And I miss that! It was important to me, to both of us. I miss that kind of intimacy, I miss it a lot! Ewynn wants me! Even though I’m an older guy, she really wants me! Do you know how many men would give their left nut for a girl who just really wants them? I’d be a fool to say no!”

“But isn’t she into… into a really…”

“A really weird kink, yes, and it bothers me. But Rose told me it’s a kink, not a fetish, she can do without it. And if she doesn’t want to, if it’s that important to her, well, we can work something out.

“Alice, I want her. I want her badly enough to walk beyond the stream to get her.”

“Outside your comfort zone,” she replied. Guy nodded. “She’s staring,” Alice added.

Guy looked up. The rat girl was not just staring, she walked right up and kissed the beaver’s nose.

“I’m gonna be so good to you!” she cooed. “I’m gonna take good care of your friend!” she told Alice.

“Now Vector,” Rose said, “do you have all that?”

The bunny nodded. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” he said.

“Good, because Jeremy just put Jerry down.”

“What?” Vector bounced to his feet. “Oh em gee, no! No no no!”

(CONTINUED IN “STAVE THE FIFTH”)

(NB. Copyright notices can be found at the end of the final chapter. Tap’s super power is that she can absorb, control and emit most forms of energy, although she usually does heat and electricity.)