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39.

I'm going to talk with Vince today. Dimitri doesn't seem sure that I know what I'm doing and is threatening to pull the plug on my little act of assertion before it even begins, but deep down I like to think he's proud of me for standing up to another fur.

Seeing Herb hurting that fennec felt personal. It was like seeing myself getting abused. I had to help him. My conscience demanded I put aside my own fears and do something. And to be honest, I was optimistic, like this could be my chance to revive the old me. It's been a long time since I'd dared to hope for anything better than survival in here, and it was nice to have those feelings again.

I walked out on to the Yard invigorated. Dimitri and Jake were with me. It felt like I wasn't doing this alone and that was great. Vince and Greg were hanging around the door like always, but... no Hash again. I hurried to the wolves.

Vince stopped talking to the fat wolf and looked at me. "Keep it in your pants, Ellie. Hash is grounded." He looked back at Greg and said, "had to have been fifty of those fucking roaches," he shuddered, "he's lucky I did make him eat them."

From behind me Dimitri grumbled. "Let's move this shit along."

Vince smirked. "Got a date? Hope you're not using a competitor." The wolf wisely took a step back, "but I am glad you came to your senses and decided to let me deal with Piter."

This wasn't about Piter as much as it was Herb. And Dimitri is only going along with this because of me. But Vince never let reality get in the way of his understanding.

"Alright, the plan is simple," he told Dimitri. "I wrote this note pretending to be Piter. It's got all sorts of juicy things about his drug running, prostitution, protection - some of it might even be true. We give this paper to Ellie, he, I dunno, flirts, or whatever the fuck he does to annoy Herb. Herb gets a hold of the paper, and then the snitching bastard turns the note over to the guards.

"Word gets back to Piter that Herb was the one who tipped them off and bang!" he clapped his hands. "Piter's got guards up his ass, Herb's mouth is permanently sealed, and yours truly swoops in and takes over in all the chaos!"

The vagueness of 'takes over in all the chaos' worried me a little. I don't think Vince planned that far ahead.

"What d'ya think, partner?" he asked Dimitri. "The Pack will have to make me an Alpha for this."

"I think you're an idiot."

"No vision, big guy. That's your only problem." Vince took a tightly folded piece of paper from his pocket. I put out my hand but the wolf ignored me and held it out for Dimitri. "Are you clear on the plan? Any questions?"

Dimitri just glared. I hesitantly raised my hand, uncertain how else to get answers. "Did Hash write the note?"

Vince's ear twitched. "No. Me and Greg hammered this out over lunch."

I would have felt more confident in this plan if my coyote would have been involved. "W-will he be out here tomorrow?"

Vince narrowed his eyes. "I'll let him out when I think he's learned his lesson. Or I need him for something. Until then, Hash can deal with the fucking roach infestation he brought to our cell."

Dimitri put a hand on my shoulder before I could say anything I'd regret. "I'm done here," the tiger announced. Vince looked like he had more to say but he was learning not to argue with the big tiger when he decided to walk away.

"Yeah. Me and Greg have to have a chat with..." Vince snapped his fingers and glanced at where Hash would have stood. "With someone. Greg, you remember?"

The fat wolf shrugged.

"Fuck." Vince was probably regretting leaving Hash behind. Serves him right I thought as I watched Greg and him take off in an aimless search.

I was left there with Jake. It was the first time I'd been left without someone to tell me what to do since I'd met Vince. Rather than enjoy this minor increase in freedom, I felt afraid. I hated that that's how I reacted. Jake and I did what we always did, walk to the edge of Pack territory and keep to ourselves.

"How's your back?" I finally worked myself up to making smalltalk.

Jake nodded without bothering to hear the question.

It was infuriating. Last night after his time with Kalvin, that whip-obsessed hare, he came back to his cell really out of it. The back of his shirt was faintly striped where he'd bled through the improvised bandages. Jake held onto me, probably not even knowing he was doing it while I sat on the bunk, rubbing the back of his neck - the only part of him that I could tell wasn't hurt. He seemed to drift in and out of consciousness, sometimes waking up shaking. I seriously considered getting Dimitri to ask him if I should get a guard. But I'd seen Jake break from pain - God help me, I let it happen - when Dimitri thought it would send a message to Piter. This was different.

Then he started crying, hard. In fragmented bursts of words punctuated by sobs he told me Kalvin was getting out. He told me he was going to be all alone now. I'd come to admire the red fox's unconventional strength. He was damaged, maybe even more than me, but he had an inner spirit that was somehow surviving this hell. Seeing the last of him cracking... it hurt me too. I couldn't stop my own tears from coming. I promised him I'd be there, that he wasn't going to be alone.

"Jake," I stopped walking and waited for him to look at me. "Please talk to me. I-if it's about what I did to you... I'm sorry, I'll never stop being sorry. If it's because I'm trying to set you up with Sanders, I'll stop. Just please don't disappear like this. I swear I'll be here for you." My voice cracked and I swallowed hard, fighting down my overactive emotions. "You said we foxes need to be stronger than other furs. Can't we be stronger together?"

Jake didn't respond right away, but he didn't turn away either. I waited, looking down at my feet.

"What's the point?" he asked quietly. "There isn't anything we can do."

"There's always something we can do. It might not be a lot, but, but everything starts out small." I moved in closer, just in case the wind might carry my words. "That thing with Vince and the note, that was me. I saw Herb abusing the new fennec. Something snapped in me and I had to do something."

Jake's eyes widen a little. "This sort of thing, this and that," he pointed right at my heart, "it's going to get you killed."

"Fuck it. Why bother living if there's nothing you'd die for?"

"And Hash? What if your stupid justice gets him killed?"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Suddenly Jake seemed to find more to say.

"If you piss off Piter, he'll find away to hurt you more than you could ever know, before he kills you."

"H-he already wants to kill me," I said weakly.

"Yeah, you. But now you're getting other furs involved."

"I have to try! All any of us can do is try." If I left it all alone, if nothing ever changed, what's the point of anything? "And I'll keep on trying until I'm dead..." Jake shook his head pityingly. I wasn't so sure of what I was saying anymore. Hash was everything to me and if I was putting him in danger, I needed to reevaluate what I was doing. If that was even an option anymore. Vince and Dimitri were both expecting me go through with my end.

I stood there in a daze. My mind raced until it lost momentum. There was very little I could do and it seemed like I had even less to gain. I don't know how long it was that I remained cerebrally lost in the dark, but it was Jake who called me out of it.

"It feels tight," he said. "My back. You asked how it was."

"Oh. I, I could ask Dimitri if he'd let me come over to your cell later and I could rub it for you."

He shook his head. "That's alright. I want to feel it for a while."

I think I understood why.

***

Dimitri wasn't breathing hard, but he did look damp from his exhaustive workout regimen. I wasn't looking forward to getting locked in his cell and having to experience his scent, but it was nice to see him walking back from the feline territory. It meant I survived the day's Yard time. And to top it all off, he didn't look like he was in a bad mood.

I let my tail wag to show him I was happy to see him as Jake and I waited around the doors back into the prison. I was becoming used to the little stings brought by all my minor acts of debasement. Probably because I knew what it felt like to be really humiliated.

"Hi, sir," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could.

He didn't verbally respond, but he tussled my hair as he walked past. I hurried ahead of Jake to walk next to Dimitri. As soon as the returning inmates began to thin out I got his attention. "Sir? Sir, can I see the note Vince gave you?"

"Hmm, I guess you better. It's you who needs to deal with it."

He gave me the tightly folded square of paper. I glanced around to check for any guards before opening it. Jake had me worried that this could end up putting Hash or any of my friends in danger.

"Shit," I whined under my breath. There were a lot of tiny scribbled words and I skimmed it quickly, my teeth sinking deeper into my lip the more I read. This was not good. I must have been muttering to myself, Dimitri smacked my arm lightly - for him anyway - and raised his eyebrows.

"Not good," I told him. Vince had a very distinct style of handwriting. It was something any fur could recognize. "They're going to know Vince wrote this," assuming the prison keeps any sort of handwriting samples from us. "And, and, my fucking name is in this!"

To keep the letter believable, Vince must have thought it was smart to put some casual references to the other canines in H-Block. Ellie R. pay $9 for Emerald Harbor covering the spread over Cowfurs. I bet Vince thought it was hilarious. Too bad he didn't know how much Blake and some of his guards hate me. This would guarantee me another write-up.

I stared down at the note in disbelief. "Ditch it," Dimitri said.

"Maybe... maybe I can smudge some of this out." I started rubbing at a word experimentally.

Dimitri put his arm out across my chest, slowing me. I looked up to see half a dozen guards lining up furs in front of our cellblock. "Not an option, pup."

Fuck! I looked for an out. The letter was too damning to just drop, and the guards looked like they were patting everyone down... I crumpled the note and shoved it in my mouth. Disgusting, I know, but not even in the top ten worst things I've had to swallow in this hellhole.

"Against the wall and no talking!" shouted a llama, holding a baton like he was directing traffic. The few inmates on their way past us to other cellblocks would slow down to laugh until the llama would turn around, motioning at them with his club and making hollow threats.

I'd never been through a cell search before and even though Tront warned me it was coming, I had no idea what to expect. No one seemed to be freaking out, so I tried to imitate the looks of bored inconvenience. It was hard to do when I saw Chad was the one frisking us.

Chad was one of the few guards I respected. He was a wolf but was too new to be on the Pack's payroll, and I'd like to think he was too moral to ever be bought off. A leopard with graying hair an expression that screamed indifference was instructing Chad as he patted down inmates.

"Naw, just check the pockets," the leopard said as he drew closer. "They do a more thorough check in the block."

"Isn't that... redundant?" asked Chad as his hands slid cautiously into Styen's pockets.

Styen couldn't resist making a scene. "That's not a shank, I'm just happy to see you." It earned a laugh from the other furs but it also had the leopard yanking him out of line.

"Shut the fuck up," the leopard barked. "Tront," he yelled into the cellblock, "make this asshole's cavity search extra deep!"

"Take a joke," Styen protested as he was shoved through the doors.

"First five," the leopard shouted out.

The line moved a few steps. "W-what's happening?" I tried to whisper at Dimitri.

"No talking!" Chad said sharply. His hands patted down my empty pockets. "Strip searches," he whispered to me. "Mostly just to keep you occupied while we rummage through your cells." He smirked apologetically and moved on to Jake.

***

"Next," the leopard ordered, and it was finally our turn. Dimitri, Jake, me and a few others were ushered through the heavy cellblock doors. I looked around. The inmates were milling about in a loose line at the back of the common area, watched over while a couple guard teams made their way from cell to cell.

Tront stood in the middle of the cellblock, directing the operation. Every now and then a uniformed fur would exit a cell carrying a plastic bag, show it to Tront, who marked something on his clipboard, and then drop the bag into a cardboard box at his feet.

I'm not sure why I thought any of us would be treated with the dignity given a feral, but it still caught me off guard when we were taken just a few steps to the side of the door and ordered to strip, right there in plan view of everyone. Jake didn't seem to care, he never did, and Dimitri was one of the rare furs who you'd find more intimidating without his clothes. I, being observant to a fault, could keep from noticing the guards wandering eyes and overhearing the disgusting comments from the other inmates.

A raccoon stepped in front of me while his accomplice rifled through my pile of clothes. "Open your mouth."

My throat tightened at the memories I've come to associate with those words. The raccoon took a small flashlight from his belt and clicked it on. "Oh," I said with relief and opened.

"Wider. Move your tongue." I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. He clicked off the light. "Put your hands against the wall and spread your legs."

Like I often do in these kinds of situations, I closed my eyes and wished for it to be over. The raccoon wasn't gentle, but at least he wasn't getting off on this. I opened my eyes when I heard one of the guards near me call out to Tront.

"Hey, look at this."

I twisted my head to see what was going on. It was the guard searching Jake. He was pointing at the fox's back. Tront walked over and he let out a low whistle. The cuts and blisters from his evening of fun were not pretty. But I knew from the start Tront wouldn't get anything out of Jake as he pressed him for information and offered to send him to the infirmary.

In the end the stallion gave up, saying he would make a note of Jake's condition, but if the fox didn't want to say anything, his options were limited. Tront glanced in my direction, the both of us looking away as we made eye contact. He probably felt guilty for fucking me, and I didn't want anyone thinking I had any connections to the guards.

"Alright," Tront said, "send in the rest."

The raccoon pulled on my shoulder, pointing to the common area. I picked up my scattered clothes and hopped on one foot while trying to get a sock on.

"Take it with you and dress over there," he scolded.

Of course. Me and the other recently violated furs carried our clothes and walked across the cellblock. The llama and Chad were moving to take up positions by the inmates now that the last batch was being sent in. Our paths crossed.

"Hold up," the llama stuck out his baton at Jake and me. "Don't start no shit. Canines over there," he pointed.

I blinked, taking a new look at how they'd lined us up. They grouped us, segregated us, just like on the Yard and in the Cafeteria. "I, I-" the urge to say I belonged to Dimitri was almost overwhelming. "Can we stand there, please, sir?"

"No." The llama didn't give it a second thought. If I would have pleaded, or tried to explain Piter and his pack might hurt us, I would have been the one in trouble.

"They're with us," Sanders called out, a sentiment not shared by many of the other felines who did nothing but pretend not to notice the scene.

Before the llama could say anything, Chad, my fucking guardian angel, spoke. "Why can't they stand by those furs? I've seen them hanging out with the tiger."

The llama grabbed Chad by the shirt, ignoring the chorus of ooohs he pulled the bewildered wolf close, whispering harshly, just loud enough for me to eavesdrop.

"Don't ever fucking contradict a fellow guard in front of these fucks!"

"I was just asking-"

"No! You have questions, bring it up when we're alone. These inmates aren't your friends, they aren't even furs. They're ferals, dressed like furs. You don't mix ferals unless you want to see a fight... And now is not the time for that."

Chad frowned, "alright, chill." He turned on Jake and me to escape the llama's anger. "You heard him, move it."

We moved into the open maw of Piter's gang, placed as far away from Dimitri and the felines as they could be.

***

The moment the guard watching us turned his back to assist his fellows in invading the privacy of our cells Max shifted around Cole so he was standing next to us. He didn't even give us a chance to get our clothes back on before he started his sadistic sport.

"I'm amazed the guards still think you're foxes, given all that time you spend getting passed around by the cats." He knocked the armful of clothes away from Jake.

Jake scrambled to grab them, both of us dressing as fast as we could. Max was standing on Jake's shirt when I was finished. The red fox tugged at it but the wolf only laughed.

"Leave him alone!" I snapped.

"You wanna go?" he spread his arms, daring me.

I surprised him and myself by taking a step forwards. Tront's voice froze me, bellowing he wouldn't hesitate to write all of us up. It got Max to give Jake his shirt back.

The guards went about the search slowly and with little enthusiasm. I watched the ones on the upper level as the got to Dimitri's cell. We had no contraband, Dimitri made sure of that, and he barely kept anything to begin with. I only had a tattered cardboard box with some paper. So why were they taking so long in there?

I inched away from the wall, trying to get a look at Dimitri to see if he was worried - as unlikely as that would be, who knows, he's surprised me a lot. I jumped right back, pressing myself into the wall at the sight of Blake entering the cellblock. My breathing quickened enough to get Jake giving me a concerned look. I flashed him a trembling thumbs up and took some deep breaths.

It was a daily race between Piter and Blake to see who I feared more. Right now it was Blake. While Piter was a psychopath, he was also a prisoner, locked up like me and everyone else. But Blake was one of the head guards, and he hated me for reasons I couldn't understand. The black wolf was always promising me he'd make sure I'd die before getting out. The whole reason he put me in a cell with Dimitri was be cause he thought the tiger would kill me in my first few nights.

Blake strutted past the line of inmates, ignoring the mumbled and outright shouted insults. Don't notice me don't notice me don't notice me.

"Inmate Regal."

Fuck. I cringed at his voice. He turned around, shouting to the guards who'd stepped out of the cells when Blake arrived. "Anyone find anything in that cell?" I didn't need to open my eyes to know where he was pointing. I peeked only when I was sure he was walking away.

Blake took the clipboard from Tront, nodding absently while the stallion spoke and gestured to things in his box. Blake was more interested in writing something down before passing the board back to Tront and heading back in my direction. The stallion was still talking, trailing off as the wolf ignored him. I watched Tront flip to the page Blake wrote on and then glance at me. Tront might have looked confused, but I knew exactly what happened.

In a needless confirmation Blake grinned at me. "Gave you a nuisance violation for hoarding toothpaste. Read your orientation booklet, dumbass, you can only be in possession of two tubes at a time."

The lying bastard!

***

Dimitri looked at the mess while I stood behind him, struggling to see through the cell's doorway. The cells we passed looked like they were hit by a hurricane. I was worried Dimitri would be put in a bad mood if anything were to disturb the austere, monkish existence he'd cultivated.

He growled something and walked in. "Take care of this fucking mess and then put your mouth to work," he said flicking on his TV. I watched him flop down on his bunk and start to unfasten his pants like he was at home on a couch.

The cell... looked cleaner than any place I'd ever lived. My box of papers had been emptied and left in a small pile. It didn't look like anyone had even touched Dimitri's things. The candy and chips I was allowed to keep were all still on the shelf.

So little of life made sense I decided and got down to my afternoon chores.