Sam and Max - Return to the Office
           This is entirely a work of fiction. None of the characters exist (well, I don't think so). All the characters are copyrighted Steve Purcell. You must be [insert legal age to view pornographic material in your country here] to view this. This work is coded as follows: m/m. You may reproduce and distribute this lemon anywhere, as long as you follow these guidelines:
1)Â Â Â Â Â You must keep it intact
2)Â Â Â Â Â You must mention me, Bahamut Dragons, as the author.
3)Â Â Â Â Â The viewer must not have needed to pay in anyway to access this file.
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Author's Comments:
Some stories are better than others and this one... well, this one isn't. Not a great opening to my new work I know and actually, this fic was supposed to be part of a trilogy of stories where Sam and Max go through various fairy tales and meet the characters within, such as Cinderella and the 3 little pigs. The story was eventually scrapped because I wasn't satisfied with anything I was writing. I'm not sure why, maybe Sam and Max were not the right characters to write about at that very moment. Nevertheless, I decided to modify what I had to make it a one-shot.  I do hope some people will enjoy it, even if the author himself doesn't believe in his work. My next one will be better, I know because most of it is already written, though it's about the Simpsons so if that isn't your cup of tea, well better luck next time.
And as always, you may contact me by e-mail at [email protected], ICQ: 11722319, Y!: bahamutdragons, MSN: [email protected] (don't use as e-mail). See y'all, stay tuned for the next episode.
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Sam and Max
Return to the Office
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"Wow, I never expected THAT to happen," Max said as he picked his teeth with a toothpick.
"You said it little buddy. Who would have thought man-eaters could be so... unpleasant," Sam added, using a nail to pick a piece of meat from his own teeth.
"At least they were tasty enough. I guess we can call them man-eated now."
"You crack me up little buddy," Sam concluded as they returned to their trusty Desoto which was half pushing through the stone temple wall after a nasty collision. Thankfully, their car was mightier than such pitiful obstacles and soon, Sam was at the wheel with Max at his side, driving back through the jungle on the way home.
The luscious jungle would have been a wonder for any to witness... any but our two heroes that is. For those who had already travelled around the world many times over, crossed time and dimensions, set foot on the moon and even visited hell, a few trees were hardly worth their attention. It's no wonder therefore that they soon both fell victim to the heat and exhaustion of the day, Sam instinctively keeping his toes on the steering wheel and keeping them steady during through his sleep.
It was only a short time before the various shades of green gave way to a golden beach and the great blue ocean beyond. Nothing could halt the car however and especially not its driver who was dreaming of many mini-Maxes, all taunting him and shaking their puffy tails teasingly while avoiding his grasp. Without hesitation, the Desoto crossed the dunes and dove bumper first in the water, its momentum never quivering for a moment. The wheels simply kept on spinning, propelling the vehicle along the waves and on the way back home.
It was only hours later when Sam arose from his slumber, yawning and stretching yet skilfully keeping the steering wheel perfectly steady with his feet. After all, no use driving recklessly without any passer-bys to witness it. Looking over to his partner's side, he found the seat vacant. Further investigation revealed Max standing at the edge of the back seat, his back to the canine, a small stream flowing between his legs into the clear water. There was no way of knowing how long the lagomorph had been releasing himself but as the moments passed, Sam couldn't help but be amazed at the continuous stream being let out and trailing behind them. Before he was done, it felt as if Max had released more than his own body volume in liquid.
"Ah, much better," the rabbity-thing sighed as he shook the final few drops out before making a zipping motion, a futile gesture in fact since he never wore any pants. Nevertheless, once he turned to face his partner, no sign remained of his genitals.
"Oh hey Sam! You just missed a raft travelling salesman. I bought out all his water supplies. And then drank it all. And then peed it all."
"I never knew you had such a large bladder little buddy."
"The better to drink you," Max answered in an old voice.
"And what a big mouth you have," Sam added.
"I hear no complaints about it," Max simply responded. "Say Sam, are we there yet?" he whined.
"Well I don't have my trusty sextant on me, but according to the clouds and the sun, I'd say we're still a few hours away from the coast."
"But I'm so bored!" Max cried out, letting himself drop on the car, arms crossed. "There's nothing to do and no one to beat up!" he pouted.
‘Typical Max,' the canine detective thought as he looked at his best friend in the world. So much like a child, his mind constantly seeking interest in the world around him. Sam wished that he could snap his fingers and make something appear on the horizon to lift his partner's spirits. Alas, the trip shaping up to be very calm and only the low hum of the engine chugging away broke the harmony of the moment.
Unlike the lagomorph, the dog could appreciate the stillness a little more. Shaking his head, he resumed his laying position in the driver's seat and closed his eyes to better enjoy what nature had to offer. He felt the sun warm up his fur, so much that he removed his vest and tie, leaving them folded neatly on Max's unsure seat; he even unbuttoned his shirt underneath. The wind on his face and chest cooled him off properly and without the heat disturbing him, various unknown smells found their way to Sam's muzzle, many he couldn't even recognise. Being a dog, smells were one of his primary domains of curiosity and these only made the moment that much more special for him.
           Minutes passed before he forced himself to open his eyes to observe his hyperactive friend, who had remained eerily silent. Looking to the back of the car, he found Max looking intently at the water, keeping one hand in the sea and seemingly trying to grab something though Sam could see nothing to grab. He assumed that his partner was simply lost in his imagination. It did make the lagomorph that much more endearing to him, to see childish wonder every time they came across something new, though often times that wonder turned to chaos as he tried to make it explode.
           Sam sighed as he turned to get a better look at his little friend. They had known each other since they were little and went on countless adventures together. And Sam wasn't an idiot, he know that Max was ostracised by society simply for being himself. In a way, it kept Sam even closer, because he was the only one who truly understood the lagomorph. Their bond was solid as steel and Sam wouldn't have his life any other way than with Max.
           Just being in Max's presence now, seeing him trying to fish with his hands, kneeling on all fours, his puffy tail in the air, made Sam excited. It was undeniably cute, and maybe more than that. In this very instance, Sam found his friend downright sexy. His tail started to wail about as if it had a mind of its own and his felt his pants grow tighter. He didn't know exactly what had caused it, but the canine was suddenly hornier than a bitch in heat. In one swift moment, his pants were off, thrown on the rest of his clothes. And still Max had noticed nothing, the perfect prey.
           Remaining as silent as he could, the dog slowly approached the rabbit, first leaping over his seat and then crawling on his stomach to close the distance. Max's white bum was now right in front of him, shaking as the rabbity-thing kept fishing against all hope. He heard not the dog approach him and almost fell to the water in surprise as he felt the canine's agile tongue slide between his cheeks and around the his puckered hole. The lagomorph's body became tense, his head raising to the sky in a silent "oh" as his hands grabbed to the edge of the car, trying not to fall off from the pleasure.. Despite the surprise, he knew exactly what the rugged and moist feeling crawling between his butt cheeks was. After all, Sam was a dog and was expected to be sniffing in other people's business; it was part of his business. Besides, there were few things Max enjoyed more than having his partner taking care of his business.
His tongue ran along the tight entrance hole once, then again, and once more, each time letting the tip of it slide deeper into the orifice. It didn't move fast, perhaps savoring the moment, exploring the hole and its surroundings with slow and calculating movements. The dog was good, Max had to admit. He knew the rabbit's body perfectly, knew exactly how long to linger and where for maximum pleasure. At times, he would even let his tongue run between his legs, along his scrotum, before returning to his butt.
The taste was familiar to Sam, very analog to the smells associated with that area. His pal kept very clean and only a hint of cooper taste transpired among the lavender Max used as a soap. But the dog did not feel solely on the bum hole, he also enjoyed the feeling of every twitch and every sound his mate made. Every move he made sent shocks down Max's whole body. He was getting aroused, another smell added to the cornucopia the rabbity-thing already emitted. It only made the canine shove his face and tongue deeper between the mounts of his bum and into his lewd orifice.
Max could not contain himself, nor would he have if he could. He moaned out at the top of his lungs all the ecstasy of having his best friend doing the dirty business. His toes curled with every lick, the tongue so strong and rugged, trying to scratch an itch that would not go. The lagomorph required a lot more than simple tongue to be satisfied, his lust requiring nothing less than feeling his ass filled and stretched savagely. He needed to feel the chaos I created in the world done to him.  And Sam knew it. He was ready to move to the next thing.
Lifting his head, Sam placed the tip of his cum drizzling erection at Max's opening. At first glance, one might have thought the cock wouldn't be able to fit, but that was without considering all the strength the dog was willing to put into pushing past the tight ring. And the lagomorph would have no say in it, nay, he wanted no say in it. All that he wanted now was to be taken full by the canine, to be ravaged in every sense of the term.
There was no warning, only a quick grab of Max's hips followed by a single thrust which impaled the short rabbit on ten inches of cock. To an outsider, it would have looked wrong. Such a small creature could not possibly find pleasure on something so large penetrating him. Yet Max would have been satisfied with no less and immediately started to buck his hips, trying to slide the erection in and out of him as fast as he could, meeting Sam's mighty rams with all of his force.
Preliminaries and pace building be damned, the canine at once became a mighty piston, bucking his hips, letting his cock slip to the edge of the lagomorph's orifice before thrusting back into him with the power of a jackhammer. Max felt powerless in his best friend's arms, his cries of bliss echoing across the ocean each time the totem was rammed into his prostate. His desire could not be fulfilled, his whole body shaking, trying to get more velocity.  Sam had overwhelmed his body and so Max had absolutely no conscious control over anything he did, no control over the powerful orgasm building in his stomach.
The dog, on the otherwise, was nothing but control. He kept a strong a steady pace, the sensation of tightness squeezing his rod pushing him to greater thrusts. He knew release what imminent, not only for himself but for Max as well, which only made each of his moves more furious. His partner became a simple symbol of his pleasure, a toy to milk him into exhaustion. And that's how Max loved it.
There were no words between them, only grunts and moans telling the tale of savage lust in no uncertain terms. It was only a few moments later, in a haunting howl and a final deep push, that Sam finally let his seed flow into his little buddy, falling to his back with Max as he felt the sweet cream fill his mate's belly. Max had no choice but to follow Sam and now sat on the cock. Already on the brink and now with better leverage, he continued thrusting the member, which was still splashing its semen. Still conscious, and perhaps wanting to drain himself completely, Sam grabbed his toy, his marionette once more with his large furry hands and pumped his meat still. It didn't take anymore until Max finally crossed that threshold and exploded, splashing his seed flying high into the air, into the sea and onto the car.
           The moment came and went too fast for both of them and both detectives eventually came no more, Max's waterfall of semen turning into a drizzle and then naught, leaving nothing but a new stain between Sam's legs, a new memento of all the adventures the freelance police had in this car.
           He let himself fall backwards, Sam's softning but still massive organ still nested in him. Sam smiled serenely as he wrapped his arms around his little buddy and counted the seconds. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. And then the rabbity-thing was back up and to his legs, cum flowing freely from his stretched orifice on the seat and even on Sam himself. The instant was past and Max was ready for more.
           Turning to his friend, as if he had forgotten between them only minutes before, Max frowned: "Are we there yet?"