Suicide
I'm sitting in the library at my school, googling "How to kill yourself" because my stomach is in knots. My tail's drooped, my ears are low and the worst part is no one knows. For the first time in my life I curse my ability to lie exceedingly well because no one will know how I'm feeling. They can't see past every wall I've thrown up and every smile and joke I toss out. It fools them all everytime, and even when they do slip past the wall and I let slip how I'm feeling, I tell them later that I was just down in the moment, I'm better now.
I'm never better.
Shutting my laptop, I realize I've got a chance. A choice to make.
I stuff all my things into my backpack and stand from my seat. I make my way to the stairwell and make the climb, going up another two stories before I'm standing at the top of the stairs. The door to the roof isn't ever locked, and I take it to step outside.
The roof is cold and blustery, and the wind rips through my jacket to chill me past my golden fur and down to the bone. I sigh and drop my backpack, reaching into my pocket and pulling out my phone.
I love you, I'm sorry.
One text to my mom.
Don't be mad...I'll miss you guys.
Quick message to my best friends, to let them know.
Fuck this world, I'm outie! X'D
One last Tweet that's so definitively me and everything I've built my life up to be; one big joke.
I drop my phone onto my backpack and calmly stroll over to the edge. Both hands placed on it. Someone spots me and points with a scream, and other heads turn.
Ah fuck, they spotted me. Oh well.
It's so easy to take a deep breath, tense my muscles and leap.
The seconds pass before I see the blackness.
Then it's light.
It's warm.
The warmth spreads, and I feel myself smile.
I'm going...
I'm going...
I'm gone.