Second Chances & New Beginnings: Chapter Seventeen
#18 of Second Chances & New Beginings
And here we go... almost done.
I didn't really pay much attention to what happened next as I thought about what I could have done differently but the truth of the matter was that she'd made her fate and choices obvious at the very beginning. This was the way that she'd wanted to go out, and for her having me there at the end was probably an amazing comfort, though it tore a hole in my heart so vast that I wondered how I was ever going to fill it.
When O'Flannigan reached the command-post where I'd originally been guiding my team Vivian charged up, her green blazing with fury, "What the hell were you thinking?" she almost screamed as she grabbed me into her arms tightly.
"You wouldn't understand momma," I replied, not doing anything to hide the fact that I was still crying at the loss that I'd just suffered. "She was..." I choked, before she looked down and paused realizing that I was crying and didn't need to be yelled at but rather held and comforted as my grief at Mel's death was tearing through my soul like a wrecking ball studded with spikes.
Momma seemed to relax before sitting down on a camp style chair and hugged me to her breast. "Shhh kitten, I'm here." She murmured softly rocking me in her arms gently with her muzzle between my ears.
Those gestures let me relax and let full vent to my grief before I softly said, "Momma... can you please... necklace." I sobbed out holding the bloody necklace out so that she could see it.
She paused for a moment before taking it from me and gently reconnecting the clasp before placing it around my neck. "You loved her so much didn't you?" She asked softly though I knew that I really didn't have to respond to that question I still found myself nodding the affirmative.
"She was my sun, my moon, my great lioness of the hunt." I stated while trying to control my tears.
"Daren Ross." Came a voice and I turned my head to look and I could see two figures, one taller than the other dressed in black, and the other was dressed in a soft blue dress.
"Yes?" I asked, trying to blink the tears from my eyes. "You did it, the one that we came to rescue is alive because of what your team achieved." The voice, who I recognized as Seamus said before the figure in the blue dress came over to where I was sitting with momma.
"Is he going to be okay?" Amanda's clear, soft voice asked before she placed a hand on my back, "Is he hurt?" She continued.
"No, I don't think any of this is his sweetheart," Vivian stated softly, "He isn't injured right now, but inside he is deeply hurt dear. Somebody that he's always loved isn't with us anymore and that hurts more than any person can possibly understand." She finished softly moving me slightly before gently pulling Amanda into a place on her lap beside me.
"Who is gone?" Amanda asked before closing her eyes and taking a soft sniff before bursting into tears of her own, "Mama Mel!" She almost screamed out hugging both me and momma as tightly as she could, sobbing in absolute desolation at the loss that was tearing through her as much as it was tearing through me.
I joined her in sobbing and I could feel my chest aching from the pain in my heart that I couldn't express or contain and together we fell asleep expressing the absolute loss of one who meant so much to us.
The light seeping through the curtains was that of late morning when I finally came too and I took a moment to realize that I wasn't alone in my bed. Hugging me tightly was the form of Amanda and I could see that in the dim light of my room that she was only wearing a goodnight, and the fur around her eyes was matted, much like the fur around my eyes, from the tears that we'd shed the night before.
I heard a sound and looked to the door to see Vivian standing there, dressed for a casual day at home, though I could also see the stress of the last couple of days around her eyes and face. "Finally, awake kitten?" She asked before I nodded,
"Yeah huh momma." I answered sitting up, trying to do my best not to disturb Amanda as she slept, though I did take a moment to notice that in her sleep the cub was softly nursing on her thumb. "I'm sorry momma that I did that last night but..."
"I understand kitten, you loved her, didn't you?" She asked softly while sitting down beside me and opening her blouse and the nursing bra she was wearing.
I nodded my head whimpering and feeling the tears in my eyes as I almost desperately came over to her and latched on, wanting, no needing the comfort that I usually got when I nursed from her breast.
"Shhh shhh kitten, that's okay, let it out, you can't help it." She said softly cradling me in her arms and rocking softly while petting the back of my neck gently.
I wasn't at all surprised when I felt the bed move slightly and a soft, almost crying voice asked. "Can I...?"
"Yes, you can dear, I think you need this as much as Daren does." Vivian answered and I felt the brush of a head against my whiskers as Amanda took her place beside me and began nursing. Even from my place I could see the tears in her eyes as she snuggled up and nursed strongly he arms circling around me to hug Vivian and myself tightly.
When I looked up into Vivian's eyes I could see that her eyes were shining with emotion as she softly rocked us in her arms and tried her best to comfort us in our shared grief.
A short time later she gently got both of us to let go before closing her top and standing with me in her arms. "Amanda can you deal with your... accident yourself?" Vivian asked, her gaze looking down at the cub's quite obviously soaked goodnight.
I saw her nod slightly and then blush as she realized the condition of what she was wearing. "Sorry Mrs. Mackenzie." She said softly, standing and looking for the door to the ensuite.
"Sweetheart, you can call me Vivian if you want, though Daren here has taken to calling me momma."
"Yes Mrs... yes Vivian," Amanda stammered before ducking into the bathroom and closing the door before opening it again, "Uh... where are my clothes, an' do you have any panties for me?"
Vivian sat me on the changing table and then turned and located Amanda's clothes and a small package of panties that she'd probably picked up from a local store on the way home. "Here you go cub, don't be afraid to ask me or my mate, Jack, anything."
"What's gonna happen to me now?" Amanda asked shyly and I could still see the pain of the loss of Mel in her eyes.
"You're going to live here cub, with Jack, myself, and Daren." Vivian replied softly while kneeling down and giving Amanda a hug, "Now you go get cleaned up and then we can go down for breakfast."
"Not really than hungry," Came Amanda's reply, though a small growl from her stomach refuted that statement.
I could understand why she didn't feel like eating since I felt pretty much the same way but I knew that once I actually got some food into me that I might feel a tiny bit better.
True to Vivian's words a few minutes later the entire family was sitting at the table having something to eat, though I suspected that for Jack and Vivian, that this meal was actually lunch. Neither of them mentioned my crazy run earlier that morning but I could see in their eyes the stress and worry that run had brought on. I could also see that they understood my reasoning behind it as Mel had meant so much to me and were not going to admonish me for something that was so obviously almost suicidal in nature because of the simple reason why.
I took a moment to gently reach under my shirt to pull the ring out and look at it in the light of day. It was such a small thing and yet, now more than ever, it carried so much meaning for me.
"Daren?" Came Jack's voice, "Today I'm going to go talk to Adam Jennings and Judge Williston to see if we can give Helen O'Shea that same kind of deal that I got you, and I think you should be there, if you can keep yourself, more or less, on an even keel."
I nodded softly, "Yes daddy, I will keep myself together." I told him, "Her death still hurts me so much, but I know that she'd want me to carry on and ensure that Helen doesn't face the judge and prosecutor alone."
"That's the spirit." Jack said and I could see in his eyes that he was proud of me.
An hour later, I sat in a familiar office with Jack beside me and on the other side, dressed in orange was Helen. On the other side of the desk sat the judge, who had scared the pee out of me on so many separate occasion and beside her stood the prosecutor.
"Am I being lead to believe that you want me to sign another one of these deals that are so obviously flawed Mr. Mackenzie?" Jennings said with a slight growl, he was tabby patterned morph of a housecat.
"What is flawed about them Adam? I mean I know that they are admittedly different from a usual deal, but I've yet to see any real flaws in it so far." Jack answered smoothly, "I feel that under current circumstances, that to send Ms. O'Shea into a prison right now would be very unfortunate and a waste of her potential as a member of society."
"What is flawed?!" The cat growled, spluttering slightly, "We've already found that you're first case is a Class One hacker who should be locked up for a very long time and instead you've basically let him off with only a slap on the wrist for all of the bad choices he's made."
I growled at the man's choice of words before standing up in my chair. "Mr. Jennings, you are implying that I had a choice in what I did with my life." I paused to take a breath, "I guess I had a choice to be born in a low-rent trailer park, I had the choice to watch my mother and father fight on a continual basis. I chose to come home one day to my mom having left, I chose to be there when my sister stepped out into a busy intersection. I know I chose my next move when I was fourteen, to escape my abusive drunk of a father, but what choice did I really have? It was either that or die by his hand. Then I chose to end up in the worst part of the city with only a friend and lover to keep me from ending up dead, never mind the choice to come home one evening to find a friend of mine lying in a pool of his own blood because some bangers decided to slice him up for the papers in his wallet... you mean those choices?" I growled out the fur on the back of my neck standing bolt upright. "Those are the choices that we don't really have a choice to make sir, all we can do is do our level best to survive." I finished before Jack gently pulled me back into my seat.
The judge nodded from where she was sitting, "Jennings I think we should considered extenuating circumstances such as young Mr. Ross has pointed out. He made some very valid points, and from what I've read here, Ms. O'Shea has had a very similar history, though she's also tried to do what she can to shield her younger sister from that same path."
After more than a few moments of looking back and forth between me, the Judge, and Jack, Jennings nodded his head and looked down at the folder in front of him before he signed the top sheet. "I don't really like this form of punishment, but I can see that it might be effective in this case." He stated before giving the folder to the Judge. "I don't ever want to hear the name Ross or O'Shea ever again as a defendant on my docket." He said while looking at me.
I nodded, "I don't ever intend to do something like what I did before. I've got a second chance Mr. Jennings, and I don't intend on throwing it away sir." I told him, "Thank you for giving Helen that chance too." I finished before looking to Helen who offered me a rather wan looking smile, though I could see the marks of her own tears in her reddened eyes.