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Sitting at a desk peering down at a book was a small plum-furred feline wearing robes and scarf. Mara's amber eyes were scanning the lines of text, taking in every letter and glyph on each page, careful to understand the meaning of each word and symbol before flipping to the next. One of her ears twitched as she heard the song of a bird chirping outside of her window. When she looked, she saw nothing there but steady snow falling in little flakes that kissed the glass before sliding down. Winter was coming along steadily and she realized that meant that her break would soon be here. In turn, it also meant that the year was passing and another would come. Mara found her thoughts wandering away from the book beneath her and toward a different direction. When she had first arrived at the academy, she had been so excited and proud. The entrance exams had been no trouble at all and she had even been placed with the third year students meaning that she was considered somewhat of a prodigy, and yet, right now when she thought of that she could feel nothing at all. A quiet morning like this on the weekend would normally give her some sort of comfort, some sort of joy because she could actually study magic, and yet, she felt nothing still. In fact, there was something creeping up inside of her that she had not thought would ever bother her in her time here at the academy. She was feeling concerned about her future.

Mara had studied hard from her first day until she almost burned out but with the help of her mentor she had found herself growing a bit more steady in her search for knowledge and she had even found herself a lover with her new found ability to interact with others. Well, she had to admit, her ability to interact still left a lot to be desired but she was trying. Mara still spent nights without sleep with her nose buried in books, but at the same time, her pace had slowed and she was better for it. At the same time, it gave her time to think, to think about things that she had never been concerned about before and she absolutely hated it.

Her tail flicked from side to side as she continued to watch the white expanse outside of her window with chin resting in paw now. A single year had gone by and her next year would be her second year, and yet, she would be well into her fourth year where she could apply for proper apprenticeships and even appeal for funding for her own research provided she had proper reasoning behind it. As a student, she had always pushed herself to learn as much as she could so she could unravel the mysteries of magic but as a career, what did that leave her with? A researcher at the court? The hoops that she would have to go through would be immense and even then, what would she even do? They would constrain her to what they wanted her to look at, to what they needed her to do rather than what she could look into by herself. They were also more restrictive than the academy itself with what was and was not considered forbidden. With all of that in mind, it meant that her future was unknown.

Mara had always grasped academics easily and had always understood what she wanted right there and then in the moment. There were only small hiccups on her way to what she desired. Never had she questioned where the end of her journey might take her, where she wanted to go. It made her brow crease alongside a pressure that began as a beating drum at the back of her head that traveled all the way to her temple. Even when she forced herself to look down at the book, the words, and sigils which she had been reading so flawlessly all seemed to coalesce into some sort of unintelligible mess.

Fixated as she was, she could not hope to continue studying for the day or even relax. Today was a day where relaxation was usually on the mind of students and normally that meant reading for her, and yet, with this fixation in her mind she could do nothing but think and think some more about what to do. In this type of situation, Mara had been used to sitting on her bed and thinking and thinking until some answer came to her but the more she chewed on that train of thought at her desk, the more she realized that she would get nowhere like that. She had no experience with what the future might hold and she had never studied possible career paths, so what could she do? What Mara needed, was advice.

A sudden thought struck her. Mara remembered that there were other people that she knew, other people that could give their knowledge and experience to her with a quick conversation. Her lover might've been invaluable in learning many lessons but her lover was also nearly as young as she was and certainly would only tell her to take things slowly, and so, there could be no other course of action except to go to her mentor Ridel for advice. Clapping the book shut, the feline student pushed her seat back and hopped off it. She retrieved her bag and set her personal tome in it before she took a breath and stepped toward the door to step out, but even still, the cloud twisting about in her mind continued to grow.

The young feline had hoped that the walk to her mentor's office would have helped clear her mind, but instead, it only seemed to push her deeper into her fixation. Mara walked with her eyes set forward and she didn't see a single thing in front of her. She moved on automatic while her thoughts were playing with several different ideas at once. There were so many questions that she could ask that could lead her to the right answer to get rid of what she was thinking, and yet, there was also the distinct possibility that whatever answer that her teacher gave her might be something that she might not enjoy. Mara grimaced as she wondered if Ridel would be disappointed in her for taking this long to ask about such a thing. She realized that she should have been asking these questions a long time ago and with that realization she found herself wondering if she should turn back and ask another day but she knew if she did not ask now then she might not ask ever.

Before she knew it, she was there. Mara caught the sight of her mentor's door with a passing eye. She had been so focused on her own thoughts that she almost stepped past it. The troubled student hadn't been aware that she would be here so soon. With a shrug, she sighed and reached to open the door. It felt heavier than normal but her desire to ease the irritation in her mind kept her from letting the door slip. When the door was cracked open enough, she poked her head inside and looked to see if her Mentor was there. A gray-furred rat sat at the desk with his eyes focused on a small stack of papers in his paw. His cloudy blue eyes turned up to peer over the papers and at her head peering through the door before he smiled and set them down to wave her over.

With a sigh, the feline stepped inside just as she heard Ridel's voice address her, "Take a seat. I was just getting started with a bit of paperwork but nothing so pressing that I cannot spare some time for whatever it is that you need."

Mara took a seat in front of the old rat's desk, her eyes trailing around toward the office for just a few moments to try and collect herself. There were books of all kinds stacked and lined on bookcases along with various magical artifacts tucked away in the corners of the office. It was a simple room that one could possibly call a study rather than a teacher's room. When she finally turned to look at her mentor, she saw that he was looking at her with a small smile, eyes watching her with not a hint of impatience touching any of his features. Ridel had been one of the teachers to approve her place at the school with the third years rather than with the rest of the first years. It meant that in many ways he was her patron and she appreciated him immensely even if she did not understand all of his lessons.

With a breath, the student began, "I don't really think I know what I want to do with myself." The question had come out quickly as a string of jumbled up words rather than a concise thought as she had hoped but she gnashed her fangs and tried again to correct herself, "I mean. My future. What I'm going to be doing after studying."

Ridel answered her calmly, "Why...I imagine with your personality, you'll be studying some more." The old man looked at her gaze calmly, Mara's mouth set in a firm line, her ears tugging back as she struggled not to retort. Ridel nodded, "Hm. You've never been in the mood for jokes but I don't think I've seen that look out of you before. Well, let's start with this. Why are you so worried about what may happen years in the future?"

Mara's lips tugged down at one corner as she spoke, "I came here to study magic, yes? To learn the mysteries of the inner workings of the arcane and that has always been my goal even after attending here. I had wanted to be a researcher at the court or some other institution but I realized how restrictive that might be and I realized that no matter what I do I would be trying to crack the secrets of magic but...I don't know what I want to do other than that. It is too vague for me to really garner what career I would be able to even try."

When the feline finished speaking, Ridel leaned back in his seat and tapped his digits together before nodding, "Okay. Telling you to not worry, that you're young...Will obviously lead you to more frustration knowing you. You're not the sort to drop something once you start thinking about it, so...I think I can help you with this." Mara's ears perked up and she leaned forward expectantly just as Ridel continued, "What is it that you enjoy doing most Mara, where do you feel most comfortable. Your interests, both smaller and large, will take you to where you want to be."

The small feline thought about that for a bit, eyes focused on the desk rather than her teacher to let her focus fully on what was in her mind. She thought about it while her mentor waited and continued doing so for just a little bit until she muttered, "I guess, I really like to read tomes and enjoy keeping my own personal one based off of what I have learned. I also just enjoy books in general. Taking information from a source and then learning it is something...Nice I guess? More relaxing than talking to people and well, I remember enjoying my times working at the library before I uh, before the incident."

Ridel nodded again and said, "And so...There you have your beginning. These books didn't come out of thin air and the research that led to them was done in many different fields, not just purely research for the sake of it."

Mara's ears twitched, her eyes peering toward the books on the old man's bookcase before she felt the gears slowly ticking together at the back of her mind. The pressure she had been feeling began to fade away even as she started thinking about the various possibilities involved in a career surrounded by books, dealing with books, or even writing her own tomes. Perhaps even a combination of the three. It put a small smile on her face.

A sigh escaped her mouth as she spoke, "I see...I think this gives me somewhere to start. Thank you sir. That is all I had to ask."

The old rat chuckled, "Of course. It is what I am here for. You so rarely come here believing that you have to do every single thing yourself, and yet, that isn't true at all. You have me. You have Ana. The librarian would be glad to and I'm certain Riz has forgiven you for the incident with the sealed tome. There are many people you could be meeting as well, peers and other teachers that have much to offer should you need it." Mara's smile returned to a small line. Socializing was not her strong point but she understood what he meant. She had already learned that other people could be a great resource for her studies and more, and yet, it was still something she wasn't quite ready to dive in headfirst. Her head came up to attention as she heard the old man clear his throat, "And Mara?"

"Yes?" She asked with a tilt in her head.

Ridel reached over and gave her head a gentle pat, "Please don't worry so much. You have so much time to think and wonder. Explore the world around you. There is time to consider, time to learn so much more and there will always be something else. Next year will be an important year for you but you aren't going to be forced to do anything. You'll simply be trusted enough to actually explore your options just a little bit more that is all that means."

Mara scoffed, ignoring the touch at her head, "Of course I have time! I have time to waste and time that I could be spending on the important things." She then softened her tone and looked away, "But rushing things wastes time and not slowing down to see the opportunities around me is also a waste. Thank you, sir I'll take your advice to heart."

Ridel laughed before pressing down on her head, ruffling his digits through her fur before pulling his paw away to let her huff and puff, "Good! You listen well and you're starting to understand what I've wanted you to learn. Regardless, my doors are always open Mara. You know where to find me and how to contact me even if we cannot meet. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

The feline thought about it for a moment before she shook her head, "No sir. I think that is all. I'll be sure to stop by more often."

Mara meant to say something else to express her gratitude but her thoughts were already tossing and turning against one another as she darted out of the office. There was much to do, much to learn and plenty to plan. Sure, she didn't have to worry about her future now or even next year and she could take her time, at the same time, she had been given a starting point where she could see and think about so many possibilities. The storm that had been clouding her mind had cleared away leaving room for her other thoughts to gather. Perhaps, she was thinking about this just a bit too much but now instead of feeling pressure, she felt excited to know that there were so many possibilities that she could match her skills to. She'd have to think of a way to properly ask the librarian for forgiveness so she could work part-time there again. At the very least, she needed to try and earn his favor before the Winter break.