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We pulled into a parking spot away from all the other cars. He withdrew a blunt from his pocket and dug in the center console for a lighter.

"You want to hit it?" he asked, putting it to his lips and lighting it.

"Obviously."

He took a long drag before handing it over to me. I looked out the window towards the beach while Justin went on Twitter. My tail came to rest on my lap and I found myself gently petting it. I took a couple small hits, I'm already high enough, might as well let him get to my level. I used to love being in the car with Justin. We'd take either my car or his to the beach, or some vacant parking lot, and just relax with each other and talk for hours. It's weird to think that some of my happiest moments with my tiger was in the car. Not that that was a bad thing. In that stage of our relationship, we were somewhat constrained to meeting in a car or at some public place. Not going to lie, I love public play. Something about it is just...really hot. I think for me, it's the thrill of the potential passerby to see. His roommate at the time was super conservative, and, even though my roommate was gay, Justin had an image to uphold. Being a football player meant a lot of push back if you're gay. For the most part. My ex, a football player as well, had teammates who were primarily ok with it. He played football for a few years, and I think he still does, at some other college. Fortunately now, it doesn't really matter if he's gay, he doesn't want to go pro anymore and is going for an acting degree, or something. Yes, acting. He's actually really good. But back to the point, he's out, and no schools were looking at him, so it didn't really matter. That sounds insensitive but those are Justin's words. I don't think he was that passionate about football.

Now we live together at an off-site apartment complex. And my mother didn't really approve of Justin for several reasons. A few of them he couldn't help, and some were Justin's stupid fault. So now, because Justin and I live together and have to pay rent and other bills, I had to cut down on my classes and so did he. We began working a lot and soon we were both always tired and grouchy. It was nice before. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those times.

"What's wrong?" Justin's voice shocked me out of my trance.

I smoothed out the fur on my tail. "Just thinking about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Just- I mean, y'know? Like personal emotional stuff."

"Why are you emotional?"

"I'm not."

He scoffed and went back to his phone. "Whatever, Scout, don't say I never try."

My high was starting to fade. "Try what? I don't want to talk about it."

"If not now then when? After the beach? You'll say that and never bring it up again. I'm tired if always asking you what's wrong to try and help and you turn me down and act like we're not in a relationship."

I narrowed my eyes. "How am I acting like we're not in a relationship?"

"You don't talk to me about shit. It's always nothing or that you don't want to talk about it. All I'm trying to do is be here for you and it's like you always say 'well, fuck you Justin'."

I folded my arms and my tail tightened around me. "I don't have to talk to you about everything."

His eyes challenged my own. "I'm not asking for everything, I'm asking for something."

My ears folded back and I turned towards the beach. "OK, can we stop for right now and try to have a good day?"

"I am going to have a good day. You're the one who's gonna act all depressed, then Liz is gonna walk away with you to figure out what's wrong. So I want to avoid that and you just tell me what's wrong."

Ugh, fuck him. He needs to stop being right.

"I...just...want...have you ever wanted to go back to when we first met, knowing what we know now? To do it different, I guess?" I got out before I took another hit.

He looked out the windshield at the blue sky. "No."

I cocked my head. "Why not?"

"Because people change, for good or for the bad, they still change. And everyone can and will change. Like...I love you, Scout, I do. What happened last night- I'm sorry. I just want to feel like you care about this."

"This what?"

"Us, Scout," he says looking back at me and gesturing between us. "This relationship. You don't care. I want to do stuff with you, or just be with you and you always go off and do what you want. You always complain. I just want you to be happy with me."

"I am happy with you. And I like being alone from time to time, ever since football we've just been constantly together. I love you, I do, but I need free time, sometimes."

"So what if I left a day and you just did whatever?"

Cause I don't trust you to keep your dick in your pants.

"I don't know. Maybe? Look I don't want to talk about it right now. Can we just relax and smoke then just go?"

He studied me again before shrugging his shoulders and taking the blunt. We both sat in silence for a minute, reading posts, before Justin spoke up about a drag queen we both follow, a very talented fox named Willum. She was very outspoken about issues plaguing our country, and about LGBT issues as well. To be perfectly frank- I look up to her. She's tough but beautiful and doesn't take shit from anyone. That sounds like the start of a bad movie but Willum is a gem.

After a couple minutes of talking, m my phone blew up with texts from everyone asking where we are.

I open the car door as I say, "Alright let's go."

Fumes escaped from the car, a family of foxes nearby stuck up their noses at the stench. But this was a pretty relaxed area, as long as you're not being stupid with it, and being a nuisance, generally people don't care. Ed, another fox, would be here later and he had better stuff than us. Honestly he's the one who gave me my first encounter with it. I like to think we're really good friends but I know he has more in common with Justin. So whenever he came, Justin and I would go back out to the lot like we agreed and smoke a little of what he has and let the other fox finish off our blunt. Liz, a lively ferret from New Jersey, was against smoking, but she's mostly playing around. She has a government job, and a good paying one at that, so everyone had respect enough not to do anything illegal in front of her. Vic, cheetah, was ok with smoking but she kept it to drinking mostly. Chloe, a slender wolf, smoked with us as well, but not without her fiancé.

Justin finished hiding the blunt as I stretched outside the car. He closed his door and opened up the back door on his side, grabbing our bag full of stuff. He walked over to my side and we began walking down together. The sand felt amazing on my paw pads. It wasn't too hot but not cold, kind of a nice middle. It was only the beginning of spring after all. I first saw Liz, well, I heard her. She has a way of being able to get her voice to rise above others. Vic and Chloe were nearby, laughing, with drinks in hand. It looked to be Mike's Hard Lemonade.

"Well look who decided to actually come out and hand with us," Liz laughed as we walked up.

I sat down next to her and gave her a half hug while Justin took the seat next to me, next to Vic. "Mhmm. You know I'm a very busy fox."

"Boy, what do you have to worry about? Sleep?" Vic said before taking a swig of her drink.

"Sleep is very important to me," I smiled.

Liz inclined her head and sniffed before dramatically holding her nose. "You reek. Did you just smoke?"

I laughed and scratched the back of my neck. "Maybe."

"You're ridiculous- wait, what the hell is that?"

She grabbed my head and swiveled it to face her. She looked at my ear, the broken piece, and let go. "What happened to you?"

Her eyes bore through me. "Oh," I coughed, "did you not see it the other day? I went on a hike to collect fish and a branch snagged my ear. Really fucking hurt."

Liz narrowed her eyes, but dropped the subject thankfully. I know she spared glances at me from time to time, but I was appreciative that she didn't go any further. Well, at least not right now. I'd probably hear about it later through Snapchat so Justin couldn't see what we were saying. She was sly like that. 'Almost like a fox', I'd tease her.

Vic handed me a Mike's, and even though I know I wouldn't get drunk off of it, I needed the drink. The downside of Florida is how hot it gets. For Liz, Justin, and Vic, it wasn't too bad, their fur was shorter than mine and Chloe's. We were all panting by the time Eddy arrived, but Justin got a text and he nudged me and showed me it was the other fox. We excused ourselves, to which Liz loudly reprimanded us in front of the other beach goers. We hurried over to the parking lot to find his silver Hyundai filled with fumes. We both opened the doors quickly, I got in the back, Justin climbed into the passenger side, and shut them quickly so the smell and smoke didn't have too much time to escape.

"Hey guys," he said with a gleeful smile. "You got the stuff?"

He loved being cliché like that, and because I was already stoned, I laughed.

Justin chuckled and withdrew the half-gone blunt. "Do you got the stuff?"

"But of course." He withdrew his own. I always liked Eddy's, he really likes to pack his weed. He's not one of those people who packs lightly when he's going to share, like Justin. He's too nice for that.

So we smoked for a bit, talking about music and listening to this song on repeat that Eddy really liked (I forget the name, though). We showed him this one song, Treasure Island by Azalea Banks, and he loved it. I mean, who wouldn't like this song. It had such a fast pace to it but gradually over time it got slower until you felt like you were sunbathing on an island with crystal clear water and bright green palm trees, surrounded by birds framed with every color imaginable. Times that by ten when you're high.

After we killed both roaches in Eddy's little glass bowl, we quickly jumped out the car and closed the doors behind us. There was only a little smoke cloud that came from the car, but Eddy didn't really care. Only reason he didn't want the fumes getting out was for the family that was approaching their car adjacent from us. "Kids", he said. Justin pulled out some cologne he carried in his pocket and sprayed me, and himself. He offered it to Ed but he declined.

"Finally you guys are back," Liz yelled as we came back. I sat next to her and hugged her. She laughed and pushed me away. "My God you guys smell so bad. Cologne doesn't mask it, it just makes you smell like cologne and weed. It's going to infuse with your fur at some point."

I chuckled. "Is that a bad thing?"

She rolled her eyes but went back to her conversation with Chloe. Vic was glaring at me and tilting her head towards the little bar they had towards the entrance but to the right by about twenty feet. I know she thinks she is subtle, but Liz, Chloe, Ed and myself picked up on it. Justin was too busy talking to Eddy about something. I nodded and got up with her and walked to the 'Tiki Bar'.

"So," she said on our walk, "I need your advice."

"On?"

"So you know I broke up with my boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I want to do stuff with Ed."

My ears skewed and I looked at her. She seemed sincere. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. Why not? I mean he's cute, he usually does try and kiss my neck when we're drunk, and he's not seeing anyone."

"He's trying to get with Lauren," I said as we came up to the counter. It was a cute little shack, there were two six-foot tiki statues on either side of the counter, holding the tin roof to the treated wood. There were about three shelves of alcohol, I knew most of them fro my short time as a bartender, but I wasn't really feeling the need to get cross faded so I just let Vic order for herself. She ordered a basic Jack and coke, the slender fox who was mixing the drink was fairly cute, the workers were allowed to go shirtless because of the heat. His fur was a little darker than mine and he had a lot more piercings to my none. He had a ring on, though.

"I know he is, but, she's leaving. And she already told me that she doesn't like him that much. She gave me permission to do stuff with him."

"So you told her you wanted to get with Ed, you know that they already did stuff, you know how he feels about Lauren, and you still want to get with him. Vic."

"I know, I know," she raised her paw pads towards me. "I just want to have fun, and I feel more comfortable with Ed."

"It's not going to end well," I said, ears flattening, "on some level you know that too."

"Yeah, I guess," she smiled. "But if it was meant to be, then it'll happen. Y'know?"

I couldn't argue with that. I gave her a final word of warning as she paid for her drink, and we walked back talking about a movie she wanted to go see. I said Justin and I wanted to see it so why not everyone come and make it a big thing. She said that would be a good idea, especially to see if her and Ed could get together after. I sighed but didn't say anymore because Ed was a fox too, and his hearing was better than Vic's, who is a little loud to begin with.

It was a lot of fun. It had been a while since we all got a chance to hang out, so the first part was us just catching up with everyone. Liz had a boyfriend who she was really crazy about and Ed just got a new job working for the government in the environmental sector. Everyone else just shared same old news about their lives. I missed it, and I said so.

"Aww," Vic, who was sitting next to me, half hugged me.

Ed just spread his arms and said, "You don't talk to me as much anymore, so fight me."

I stood up and spread my arms too. "Okay, let's go outside. Shit, we already are."

We laughed and I took a sip of Vic's half-gone drink when I sat down. Justin wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him. I tensed for a second, but he didn't notice. Or if he did he didn't say anything. I loved when he did this, I loved feeling his arms around me. It might just be the weed talking, but I felt safe with him. No matter what he does or has done, there's no other person I've felt this safe with. Besides the husky, but he's gone. He was as nice as Justin. Just never put his hands on me like that.

Not to say I don't deserve it. Lately I've been pushing him away. I think it's because of the stress of trying to pay every bill, making shitty pay even though I work almost six days now, five to six hour shifts. Because my boss doesn't know what what overworking was. Which was fine, to a point. But our arguments usually turned bad when I've been at work all day and I don't think about what I say before I say it. And I end up saying some sarcastic remark that shouldn't be said. Or I end up giving him attitude when he just wants to touch me and be close. Maybe it's cause I've never lived with anyone before. I do like it, but I wish I had just some alone time.

But, being here. With him and all my friends. It puts things into perspective, and I hate it because I've been being an ass. But I also hate it because I've missed out on good memories with him by being the way that I am.

His grip tightened on my arm and he down looked at me with his golden eyes. I felt warm again and I smiled back up at him, then we both went back to listening to Vic's story about her dad's hair.