FSE

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I guess this is where I start the second chapter? I mean, it's not like I'm writing a novel or something. Hell maybe I could publish it as a novel. I don't know. I'm not really a writer. At least I don't feel like it. Doc says it's good for me to put all this down, helps me process it all. And boy have I got a lot to process. So yeah, chapter two. Hi, I'm Tom. Remember me? The only human in the world? Somehow magically ended up here and can't figure out how to get back? Okay well, that last bit is a little inaccurate. Doc and I have been talking. He says I need to be more accurate with my wording, and that 'can't figure out how to get back' suggests I'm still trying to get back. Honestly, if I went back as I am right now, I wouldn't mind too much. But it'd probably be better if I stayed put.

I've got a place to stay. I've got friends. I've got a way to support myself. And as it so happens, I'm not getting a bunch of weird looks anymore. People don't seem to be too freaked out by me like they did that first day I showed up. Granted, a lot's happened since then. More on that later. For now, where did I leave off? I had just showed up. I'd only been around for a couple of days. This little kobold guy, Vhip, took me in since I apparently saved him from being 'claimed' by a gang of raptors or something? I ended up overdosing on some weird sex-change pills because I'm nasty. And then Vhip decided to crawl in and make himself a little home in that new spot I had grown.

Weirder previous episode recap than anything you'd see on television. Maybe? I dunno, I've seen some weird stuff on TV here in this world. Maybe this is completely normal to the fuzzy folks who live here.

Anyway, I was just getting used to hauling Vhip around like that. I had spent the whole weekend like it, and I gotta say, I was really diggin' it. Seriously, I never thought I'd admit to liking being pregnant, but then this wasn't exactly your ordinary pregnancy. I just couldn't stop rubbing my stomach. And Vhip moving around felt really, like unbelievably good. Can you imagine if I just woke up back home with him still inside me? Geeze the scandal would be fantastic. Right up until the government decided they wanted to dissect me to have a better look at Vhip. God knows what they'd do to him. Poor guy wouldn't stand a chance. So, yeah, fuck going home. I know how they treat anyone or anything different and I'm not putting this little guy through that.

I kinda feel like I gotta protect him, like I'm responsible for him somehow. Which is really weird since he's the one taking care of me. Or at least he was, right up until he decided to call my gut home. Whatever, it works. I'm gonna just run with it. Or maybe stick to a light jog. I'm not up to running yet.

Like I said, I spent the whole weekend hauling this egg-filled lizard inside me. It was pretty damn great. I was getting worn out pretty easily, and I was getting really hungry a lot sooner than usual, but other than that, I was enjoying it. God, just showering with Vhip wriggling around in me was enough to make my knees knock. But, like the man said, all good things must come to an end. I woke up Monday morning earlier than I was known for waking up. I just laid there in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling. My hands were practically glued to my stomach. I could feel Vhip pushing down on me while he slept. I swear, I could even feel a sort of gentle rise and fall from his breath. That blew my mind. Maybe if I focused hard enough on it, I could use it to help me get to sleep next time he crawled in.

Eventually, I decided just laying there wasn't a good use of my time. I rolled over to the edge of the bed, trying to be as careful as I could not to wake my little buddy up and climbed up onto my feet. The weight settled in all those ways I had found I loved feeling and I was awake. Really awake. Like slap across the face, bucket of cold water over the head, stub your toe in the dark at three in the morning awake. Man, that shit's better than coffee for getting you going in the morning.

I checked the time and found I had a couple of hours before Vhip usually left to go to work. That had to be more than enough time for him to slip out. I thought about it for a bit and figured the best place for it to happen would be the bathtub. It would be a nice, contained space, and he could rinse off once he was out. And if his going in was any indication, I was gonna be hoarse from him coming back out.

I turned on the water and carefully eased myself into the tub. Trust me, you don't wanna accidentally slip and fall when something two thirds your body weight is throwing off your center of mass. If anything, I didn't wanna hurt the little guy because of a screw up of mine. I pulled the curtain shut around the tub and started to rinse myself off. God damn I loved feeling the spray hit my belly. This whole experience has given me an entirely new appreciation for what expectant mothers go through, but then I'm sure I was lucky enough to not have to contend with a lot of the negative stuff that comes with being pregnant. I wasn't sure why that was the case, but I wasn't gonna jinx it. And I still hadn't quite ruled out the whole delusion while in a coma theory or something like that. I was gonna enjoy it while I could.

After only a few minutes of standing there, constantly rubbing over my stomach, I felt Vhip start to twitch. I looked down at the big, wet dome, glistening under the showerhead, and gave my tummy a squeeze. I wasn't about to wake him up just yet if I could hold out a bit longer, keep it from ending too soon. But apparently the noise of the shower had done the trick for me. Oh well.

"Tom awake?" Vhip asked.

"Yeah, I'm awake. You alright in there, little guy?" that had been my usual way of saying good morning to him.

I didn't have any reason to think he wasn't, but I couldn't help myself. This was all still so new I wanted to make sure. And each and every time, he would answer and I would feel better.

"Vhip very comfy. Tom very comfy inside. Vhip feel good." he said.

"Good. Tom feel good too." I'd started talking like him, not like I was learning a new language or anything, but just because it felt kinda cute to answer him with how he talked sometimes.

"Vhip glad Tom feel good. Like stay in Tom. Tom like Vhip stay in Tom?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, Tom really like Vhip stay in Tom. But I think it's about time I let you back out. You've gotta head to work in a couple of hours." I wasn't looking forward to separating, but it had to be done.

After all, I had no idea how long I could actually safely hold onto Vhip like I was. For all I knew, it was dangerous to do exactly what we were doing and Vhip was just too sweet and innocent to know or understand. I sighed and gave my big, fat gut a squeeze, knowing I was going to miss it.

"Vhip have work, yeah. But Vhip no want come out. Vhip want stay in Tom. Tom comfy inside." my little kobold boyfriend said.

"Look honey, I know. I like it too. But you can't go to work if you're inside me. You gotta go lay eggs for the masses and whatnot. Can't exactly do that while you're in me, now can you?" my logic was undeniable.

"Tom go to Vhip job! Vhip lay egg in Tom, then Tom lay egg! Boss lady give Tom Vhip job maybe!" he said.

Could that really work? Could he just lay his eggs while he was inside me, then I guess just push them out of me? I sure as hell didn't know how to lay eggs. But I'll say this, I wasn't against finding out if I could learn how.

"Really? You want me to go take your place at work? That's kosher? Your boss won't get mad or anything?" the last thing I needed was for Vhip to get fired because he didn't want to evacuate his little nest in there.

"Boss lady real nice! Boss lady like Tom! Tom get job make egg! Vhip make egg for Tom, then Tom lay egg!" Vhip said and started squirming around really hard.

I think he was excited at the prospect, and boy did it leave me breathless. I was about to slip and fall right there in the tub, so I eased myself down. I slouched against the back, getting sprayed down on by the showerhead, knees bent and hiked up. I felt like I was in the proper 'birthing' posture, but I didn't feel any urge to push or anything. And I had no idea of those breathing techniques they show in the movies actually work. I squeezed my stomach and watched it wiggle and stretch. It was so tempting to just go with the idea. If it meant I got to keep him right where he was, why rock the boat?

"You just wanna stay in there, don't you? You're so happy where you are that you don't wanna leave." I neglected to mention at that time that I felt the same way.

"Vhip like be in Tom! Tom good boyfriend! Take care Vhip!" he said.

"Yeah, I've been taking care of you. Kind of have to when you're attached to me. And it's been a wild weekend. But be honest with me. You really think this suggestion of yours will work? I'm not gonna get us into trouble or anything? You're not just being selfish wanting to stay there are you?" I could live with him being selfish, but only so long as it didn't result in not having money to buy food or pay bills or whatever else went on here.

"Vhip promise! Boss lady like Tom! Tom go work Vhip job! Tom like!" he said, insistent little thing that he was.

I sighed and ran my fingers over one of the little lumps he made in my stomach. It felt like his nose. I was starting to get the hang of figuring out how he was oriented inside me. He wasn't gonna give up on this idea of his, and honestly, I wanted to go along with it pretty badly. The realist in me was screaming no, that I had to get him out in case we had broken some law or some stupid shit. Of course, the realist in me had been screaming ever since I got to this world and had not shut up for one god damn second. So I had started to ignore that part of me, at least while he was still losing his god damn mind. He'd calm down and recalibrate or whatever and then I could listen to him again.

For now though, I had to get ready to go to work. That idea felt so weird, going to a job that was someone else's because I had them squirreled away in my gut. Before I could stand back up and finish showering properly, Vhip decided he wanted to engage in a little hanky-panky. Yeah, I call it that. Shut up. I ain't a poet and you know it. See what I did there? Anyway, Vhip was clearly so excited he couldn't contain himself. He spun around in my belly, making me gasp, and pointed his head down towards the exit. I still hadn't come up with a good name for my cooch. I don't even really like calling it 'cooch', but 'pussy' just doesn't sound right either, like I'm disrespecting it or something. And there were a couple of other names for it that were even less polite. So I guess for now I'll just call it 'my lady'. Sounds like I'm talking about some broad from a noble house in one of those fantasy shows.

Anyway, Vhip was turned around and pressing against me. I could feel him starting to lick around. It wasn't the first time he'd done this before, and good god I loved it when he did. He had become intimately familiar with 'my lady'. See? That sounds kinda nice, like he's out on a date with my snatch. Okay I'm not calling it that either. Hey, I'm still workshopping this, okay? I've only had the damn thing for a few days. He was licking around real good, like he was making out with it or something. And there was this one spot he had found pretty early on that when he messed with it, it felt like I was being electrocuted, but in a good way. I'm no expert in anatomy, but I think that's called 'the g spot' and he never left it alone when he was in the mood.

I sat there in the tub just hugging my belly and moaning as Vhip gave me his customary good morning. It was also his customary good night. And his customary lunchtime announcement. And his customary 'happy three in the afternoon'. Look, he really liked doing it and he did it frequently. I wasn't gonna complain. I just wish he would start a little more slowly so I could get somewhere comfortable to sit and enjoy. Once, he started while I was at the stove warming up some leftovers. I had to sit down right then and there or I was gonna fall and burn my face off in the pan. Gotta set some ground rules. Don't wanna burn my face off.

He had me going pretty quickly. I started rocking right there in the tub like I was being humped. I swear, I could actually feel his tongue slipping out of me and twitching around between my legs. It got me wondering the first time he did this if I found someone who knew how to give oral and he started doing this if they would end up making out with one another and I was just kind of 'in the way'. It was an experiment I was happy to try out. When I got myself into a proper rhythm, I started moaning, and I was kinda loud. It was kind of early in the morning. The sun hadn't quite come up yet. I hoped I hadn't woken anyone up because I was being a kinky bastard. Okay technically Vhip was being the kinky bastard, I was just his victim. See? I'm completely innocent!

Yeah, no. There's nothing innocent about me. Hasn't been for years.

I just kept rocking away, not bothering to reach down and help out with anything. Vhip knew how to finish me off. He'd done it a few dozen times by now. I could say that it was unbearable, but I totally would be happy to bear it anytime. I was rock hard when I woke up, which was the norm. Hell staying rock hard was the norm anymore. Just feeling Vhip inside me was enough to keep me perpetually turned on. Like there was this button inside me and he was just mashing it. You know how you're typing something on the computer and your cat walks in and decides they want to 'help' by laying down on the keyboard? The spacebar gets pushed down and it just keeps adding spaces without stopping until you manage to get the cat to move? Yeah, it's like that, but with my dick. And I can't figure out how to get the cat off my space bar.

I could feel it pressing up against my stomach. If it wasn't for the shower, I'd probably be able to feel that telltale chilly sensation of sticky wetness oozing down and cooling off the further down it got. That was something nice about being in the shower, no unpleasant little chills. Just the chills I got from being tickled and licked in all the right ways. Part of me wanted him to stay in that position and not stop all day long. But that might be indecent. I didn't wanna be indecent, at least anymore than I would be walking the streets pregnant with my boyfriend. Seriously, if you get the chance, you gotta try it. It'll knock your socks off.

I don't like to think of myself as a screamer. That sounds too much like I'm mad or hurt or scared. I don't really know what the word I wanna use is for the noise I made. It was too loud to be a moan. I don't think you'd call it a yell. And 'bellow' sounds like I'm trying to come off way manlier than I can back up. Whatever you call it, I made a noise, and it was a very happy noise, though it didn't really sound that happy. But trust me, I was happy. Really damn happy. I made a terrible mess all up the front of my stomach. I didn't even know I could make so much, but there it was. Maybe it had to do with those pills. I gripped my stomach and without realizing what I was doing, I felt my tummy tense up.

It turned really hard, like a pumpkin or a basketball that's been inflated a little too much. I managed to shut myself up and clench my jaws, all while the marvelous sensation ripped through me. I was sure I was addicted to it by now, feeling an orgasm as a girl. I didn't care. I loved it. I thought that if ever I woke up from this and had to go back to a normal life, I'd have a better appreciation for the crap us guys put ladies through in bed. Seriously, if what I felt was the real deal, or even anywhere close, I owed every girl I ever dated an apology for not making them feel even a tenth this good.

Vhip finally slowed down as soon as he felt me contracting all around him. It was pretty normal after all. The first time it happened, I was worried I was gonna squirt the little guy out. It felt like what I imagined going into labor must be like. At least that's what I thought in the moment. Then I thought better of it. You don't see or hear about ladies screaming their heads off in agony for no reason. No, this wasn't like it at all. After that first time, I stopped worrying so much. I didn't know how Vhip managed to make me tense up like that, but it certainly wasn't unpleasant. And there was evidence to suggest that he liked it too.

I took a deep breath and began to relax once everything came to a stop. I didn't want it to come to a stop, but I didn't exactly have the constitution to keep going endlessly. Or is that agility? I dunno what table top stat applies here, but if I had rolled a saving throw, I'm pretty sure I'd keep hitting a one on this particular skill. So, after I had a chance to calm down, I sat back up and climbed to my feet to finish cleaning up. At least he had used his tongue this time. If he had opted to go the other route, I'd probably have insisted he not stop until I pass out. That happened Saturday evening. You've never known joy until you've had a little kobold curled up in your womb fucking you from the inside out. Sounds weird, I know, but don't knock it until you try it.

"Thanks for that, hun. Just what I needed to get me going." I said.

"Vhip like how Tom taste. Maybe one day Tom taste Vhip." he replied.

"Maybe, but that means you gotta come out, and I'm not prepared to agree to those terms yet." I'm a master negotiator, but only in my head.

I finished cleaning up after wasting too much water and dried off. I still had an hour and a half to burn before I absolutely had to be out the door, or cave I guess. So that meant I had time to work on breakfast. I was absolutely starving. A small feast was prepared and I sat at the little table, turned to one side because of my tummy. While I ate, I looked over the listing for the company Vhip said he worked for; Ovidyne. Sounded like a silly name to me. A little too on the nose for some science fiction story about an evil corporation trying to take over the world. Only this one was gonna do it through eggs somehow?

Whatever their fiendish master plan was, I wasn't about to go in blind so I read up on the place first. They seemed pretty legit, boasting the finest in quality production of eggs. They even claimed to be the leader in the field of 'oology'. If you're wondering how that's pronounced, it's 'oh-ah-luh-gee'. It means the study of eggs, apparently. Specifically, bird eggs, but in my quick search through the internet, there didn't seem to be a term for the study of eggs from other kinds of animals, like lizards or amphibians or face-hugging-chest-bursting aliens. I was grateful that last one wasn't enough of a thing to merit a scientific discipline dedicated specifically to it. In this weird world of animals, I had no way of knowing what to expect.

Maybe there were face-hugging aliens, and they were really nice and took you out to dinner and a movie before impregnating you. And maybe instead of exploding out of you and killing you, you just went to the hospital and it slipped out somehow. Right, whatever. I'm just trying to keep myself from freaking out too hard thinking about that kind of stuff being possible.

I finished my breakfast after falling down a search hole and deciding I'd had enough. Once I was full--which took quite a bit more than what I normally ate before getting pregnant--I felt like maybe I was ready to go, but I still kind of felt lost. Vhip usually left the cave wearing a pair of shorts. While it wasn't unusual to see naked people wandering the outside world, I still wasn't quite confident enough yet to try that whole experience again. So I delayed my leaving for a little while to put something on. The clothing Vhip had bought for me the day I showed up was all I had that came close to fitting. It left my belly very exposed. Because of that, I felt a little excited about going out. My gut on display for the world to see, proudly strutting down the street showing off my boyfriend like that. I couldn't help but feel the need to rub my thighs together again. God why did -that- turn me on? Was I turning into that much of a slut?

Don't worry, that question gets answered later on, so don't bother asking again. The answer is yes by the way. Shut up.

Dressed with a big, fat tummy sticking out from under my shirt, a shirt that was too small to cover it; I was ready to go. I stood there in the mouth of the apartment-cave and contemplated what I was about to do. I was going to go talk to my boyfriend's boss about getting a job. I was just gonna walk up to her and say something like 'hey there, I've got your employee in my belly and he says he can push his eggs out of me, can I take his place on the production line?' and hope for the best. Hopefully I was gonna be more articulate than that.

Okay that was probably almost exactly how it was gonna come out. I'm not an articulate man. If you're reading this, you know that already. But I had another concern that was a little more immediate.

"Hey, um... where exactly is this job of yours? Their website listed a bunch of different locations all over the country and at least five branches here in town." I was sure that just walking into a random building and asking if that's where eggs came from would get me kicked out.

That or possibly sent to a mental health facility.

"Vhip have address in phone. Take phone, use to find." Vhip said, then pushed out as if he was reaching towards where he kept his cell.

I gasped and pushed a palm over where he was stretching me. If he did that at the wrong time, I might make a mess in my shorts. While that would certainly be an enjoyable little event in the moment, it might not be appreciated by the larger public. I waddled over to the bed and scooped up a small, black slate-like device sitting on the nightstand charging up. I swiped at it to wake it up and began looking through its contents. I felt like a bit of a heel for doing that. it was Vhip's phone. He should be the one messing with it. For a moment I thought about shoving it in there with him and making him text me the address.

Yeah, pretty sure shoving an electronic device up 'my lady' would render it kind of too sticky to work. That and I didn't find the idea of cramming a lithium battery inside me too appealing. We'd discuss matters of privacy later. I decided to just limit where I looked for the information in question and focus on that. When I found his work address, I copied it to my phone, which Vhip had been kind enough to furnish for me before he went 'lady diving'. I slipped both phones into my pocket and waddled towards the exit. When I got to the lip, I froze and frowned, looking back into the living space.

"Hey, is it really okay if I just leave all this stuff without anyone to keep an eye on it? There's no door or anything for me to close and lock. No one's gonna try to steal anything will they?" it felt like it was a legitimate question at the time.

Knowing what I know now, it does feel kind of silly. No, it's not some sort of weird, animal-based utopia where no crimes happen. It's just these are apartments for kobolds. And kobolds like Vhip tend to be treated differently by the rest of society. It probably sounds a little 'separate but equal' but trust me, that's not the case. Dogs and cats are treated a certain way back home because they're cute and cuddly. Kobolds get treated the same way here. Usually. Those lizard things that tried to bully him are kind of the exception. And as it turns out, some kobolds are into that. But anyway, because kobolds are treated like how cats are on the internet, no one can really imagine robbing one like that. It's like a weird social defense mechanism. They're too cute to mistreat. At least for most people.

"No steal. Vhip kobold. Kobold no get robbed. Stuff okay. Go work, come back, find stuff still here." Vhip said.

"Okay... if you're sure... off we go I guess." to this day, it still feels weird leaving your home completely open like that.

Have you ever tried to walk to work while pregnant? With a horny kobold full of eggs? No, of course you haven't. I'm the de facto expert on this so shut up and listen. The trick to it is keeping eyes forward and focusing on where you're going. Try not to bump into anyone. Or anything. In this delicate state you're in, the slightest jostle could end up setting you off and then surprise! You need to change pants. It almost happened to me a few times. Thankfully, people tend to get the hell out of your way when you're as big as I was.

Vhip's work was in a building only a few blocks away. Great, that meant a short trip! Rats. That meant I didn't get to waddle around town enjoying my little walk for that long. Vhip told me to check in with the front desk, specifically to let them know where he was. The security guard just kinda gave me a weird look when I told him about my gut. Vhip gave me a good stretch, showing he was there and called out to get the guard's attention. That did the trick. He let me through using Vhip's ID card.

Navigating an office building while you're out of breath, on the verge of creaming your pants, and fighting how tired your legs are isn't as fun as it sounds. Even though it is kinda fun. Vhip guided me through the bowels of what I expected to be cubical hell, but turned out to be more like a factory farm kind of set up. And not like those atrocities we call factory farms back where I come from. Here, it looked like people came to produce all sorts of fruits and veggies in big, indoor farms. I guess that works better than having them spread out across a big open plot of land. No weather to worry about. No bugs or weeds. It got me wondering about maybe working down there in the 'field' after I got Vhip out of me.

That was if Vhip ever came out. Honestly, I wondered if I could do both. It sounded like there was some significant down time between clutches of eggs. I took an elevator up to the sixth floor, which was the 'eggery' as it was labeled next to the button. Kind of a silly name if you ask me, but they didn't ask me, so fair enough. When I stepped out of the elevator, I stopped and just kind of stared. It looked and felt a bit like a hospital. There were places for people to lay reclined as though they were giving brith. Complete with stirrups and everything. If they were laying eggs, then I guess they kind of were giving birth. There were already quite a lot of folks in position.

Some were moaning and screaming as they pushed an egg out, and getting cleaned up when they made a mess from 'the fun'. Some were just sitting there reading or futzing around on their phones while laying, like they didn't really care at all. None of them looked or sounded like they were in pain. Either they were having a grand old time, or they were acting completely oblivious. Either way, it looked like I was in for an interesting time. Vhip gave me a little kick off to one side. How had he known where I was and which way I needed to turn?

"Boss lady this way!" he said, sounding more excited than he had when he decided I should go on this little adventure.

God damn this little guy was adorable when he was riled up. And while I was enjoying the sights and the sounds, I was still just a little nervous. And then I met this 'boss lady' he had been telling me so much about. That was sarcasm by the way. It doesn't come through as clearly in text. I'm told there's a committee working to decide what font will become the universal sign of snark. I point all this out because Vhip didn't say jack about 'boss lady' all weekend long, so you can imagine my surprise when I spotted who his supervisor was. She was sitting behind a desk, looking over something on a sizable tablet she held in one paw. She was completely covered in black scales, except down her front that is. And what a front it was. Two huge purple breasts stuck out, completely defying gravity. When I say these things were huge, I mean bigger than my head. Hell, they were bigger than my stomach. Granted this 'boss lady' had to be at least a full meter taller than me.

Still feels kinda weird using metric. It's what they use here and there was a pretty sizable learning curve for me to get over. Yeah, that's what you came here to read, me discussing different systems of measurement. Anyway, Vhip's boss was a dragon. An actual fucking dragon. I thought my eyes were gonna pop out of my head. And only partly from the fact that she was a real life god damn dragon. She looked all business-like with her hair pulled back in a bun and a pair of glasses on her muzzle. Honestly, it was kinda cute. Did I mention that Vhip's boss was a fothermucking dragon? I feel like I haven't expressed that enough. The folks around here might think nothing of it, but I come from a place where dragons only exist in animated movies about vikings and Saturday morning cartoons trying to teach kids the importance of reading and being friendly to one another.

Now, I had a huge-tittied dragon BILF (that's 'boss I'd like to fuck' for the folks that couldn't guess it) staring me down with her nipples while she did boss-lady stuff on her tablet. Or maybe she was looking at porn on it. I like to think she was looking at porn. What can I say? I'm nasty. But then you already knew that much. I was just kinda gawking at her like a complete idiot, she didn't bother to actually look at me right away. When she finally decided she needed to address me, she didn't actually look at me. She just started talking as though everyone knew she was directing it at me.

"I'm sorry but we don't have any open positions at this time for freelance brood-parents. If you would like to be considered for a part time position, please go speak to Tina in HR." she said.

"I um... no... I'm not really looking for that," I was so nervous, I'm sure she could hear it in my voice, "I uh... I'm Tom. I'm here with Vhip. He said you'd let me fill in for him?"

The black and violet lady sighed, sounding annoyed as she finally put her tablet down and brought a pair of bright, almost like they were glowing purple eyes down on me. When she got a load of the weirdness that was me, I had her full attention. She leaned forward over her desk, which I swear I could hear creak under the weight of her chest. I wondered if I could actually get lost in her cleavage. Experience has taught me that yes, yes I could if she was inclined to let me.

"Well, hello Tom. I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like you before. Am I correct to assume that when you say Vhip told you that you could fill in for him, he told you from in there?" she pointed at my gut.

I looked down at my exposed tummy. My shirt really couldn't come anywhere near close enough to covering it. In that exact moment, I simultaneously felt overdressed and underdressed. Didn't people go to office buildings in clothes they called 'business casual'? But then boss dragon lady here was topless, and probably bottomless too. I didn't find out until just a little while later if that little assumption was right.

"Heh, yeah... Vhip and I met last week. He took me in because I didn't exactly have anywhere else to go and I scared off some thugs that wanted to... I dunno, kidnap him I think?" making a real good first impression there Tommy boy, downplay the fact that you're broke, homeless, and a freak with mention of you being a third rate hero who uses nudity as a weapon.

"So you're the Tom he mentioned that scared off the competition. He didn't say anything about you being capable of laying yourself. Does that mean you swallowed him?" the dragon lady asked, as if that was the single most casual thing to mention.

I had to stop myself from laughing. It just sounded so ridiculous. But then I realized that was kinda what I had done. Just not with my mouth. Still, the question implied that people did swallow people with their mouths. And me being easily distracted, especially when staring down a very tall, topless dragon--did I mention she's a fucking dragon--I ended up latching onto that thought.

"Wait, people eat other people around here?" the instant that thought hit me, I imagined one of those lizard-raptor things just scarfing me up and that being the end of my little magical adventure.

I had been really god damned stupid that day. And I was only just starting to learn how moronic I actually had been.

"Not in my department, they don't. Cuts into productivity and efficiency. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cough him up. He's one of my better producers." the dragoness said.

Yeah, still getting to used to that, even while I'm writing this. Dragoness. Who would have fucking thought?

"Oh uh, no. I didn't swallow him. Not like that at least. See, he had these pills he had been taking-"

"And you took them, the two of you got freaky, and he climbed in. Then they wore off and now you don't know how to get him out. Is that about right?" the big lady asked, sounding annoyed again.

"Well, they didn't exactly wear off. Apparently, I took enough of them for the whole sex-change effect to end up permanent. But yeah, he did crawl in. Eggs and all. And now he doesn't wanna come back out. He said he could lay his eggs and push them out and that would be fine." at this point, now that being eaten was on the table of possibilities, I thought she was considering doing that to me then and there.

"Vhip, are you awake in there?" the lady asked.

"Vhip awake! Vhip excited to show Tom what Vhip do for job!" he chirped from under my skin.

"You think you can make this little plan of yours work? No slow-downs? No problems?" the dragon asked.

"Yeah! Vhip think Tom make good egg layer! Might need help get start, but Tom good! Tom real good!" Vhip said.

He was talking me up pretty good, and I was getting nervous about the prospect of having to come through on his promises. The big dragon lady stood up with a sigh and walked around the desk to come have a better look at me, and that was when I noticed that she was in fact bottomless. Vhip's boss did her job completely naked. Honestly, I can't blame her. If I could have done any of my past jobs naked, I totally would have. There's something kind of calming about the thought of taking calls in a help desk office while leaned back in your office chair wearing nothing but your birthday suit. Also, I don't know if they made clothing that could fit her.

She wasn't just tall, she was wide. Her hips went on for days. She probably could have stuck my head between her thighs and just crushed it like a walnut. And yeah, she could probably crush a walnut between her thighs. She wasn't fat, she was ripped. Okay maybe not bodybuilder ripped, but from what I could tell, it wouldn't take her much work to get there. And it wasn't just that she was built like that butch Marine lady with the pink hair from that shooter game everyone else loved. She had other 'assets' that meant she wasn't likely to be shopping in the usual ladies intimate apparel shops. Then again, with everything I've seen so far, maybe they do make ladies intimates with a package that big in mind.

Dragon lady had a dick. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I know I shouldn't be so surprised since Vhip blurred the gender lines, and now I did too. It wasn't so much that she had a dick that shocked me but just how inferiority-complex-inspiringly big it was. I'm pretty sure it was bigger around than one of my thighs, and almost as long as one of my legs, hip to ankle. And she wasn't even hard. I'm pretty sure she was kind of at a half chub at that moment, but she was still damned impressive. My ass started feeling sore just thinking about that monster. She must have caught me staring at it because she snapped her fingers and gestured upwards.

"Eyes here, kiddo. I'll let you take a picture in a bit to enjoy later, but for now, conversation eyes. Not ogle-the-hardware eyes." the very tall, very intimidating lady said.

Yeah, I'm not ashamed to say I was intimidated by the size of her dick. I must have looked like a joke to her in comparison. And you know what? I was! I'm a puny little Cessna and she's a fully loaded 747 blowing my ass off the runway. In more ways than one, you can imagine. I was intimidated in that way you feel when you're at the zoo and you're looking at the lions. Sure they start out all lazy and goofy, rolling around in the grass, tryin' ta hump the lady lions. Then that big fucker starts to roar. You feel that shit in your chest and you realize you are about as durable as a facial tissue if they get their teeth around you.

After I managed to stop staring at the lady's giant battering ram and actually look her in the eyes, she cleared her throat as if she'd been annoyed and waiting for a lot longer than it felt like. I felt like I was just one never-ending annoyance. That was my bad. Hard to stop staring at your first ever man-eating meat-mallet. In my defense, there was a lot to take in. It wasn't just the shaft. She had a sac that I could have used as a bean bag chair. For two. You probably think I'm super thirsty going on and on about this stuff, but in all seriousness, I was just a little terrified. She could have picked it up, then dropped it on my head and I'd probably have been knocked out cold.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm... I'm new in town. Still getting used to things. It's real different from where I'm from." truer words had never been spoken.

"Well, Tom from out of town, did Vhip explain to you what it is we do here?" she asked.

"Not a whole lot. He just said 'make egg' and 'lay egg'. He's cute and sweet and affectionate, but he doesn't like to get too bogged down in the details." what I had intended to say was he talks like a caveman with a toddler's grasp of language.

I didn't say it because Vhip was listening in and I didn't want to be rude. Also, I'm not a monster who would insult his boyfriend right in front of him like that. He wouldn't have taken kindly to a comment like that. And before you jump up my ass about putting it down here, a couple of things. First, he's not ever going to read this. And it's not because he can't read. He actually has a pretty strong fondness for books. It's more a matter of access. Kinda hard to read something when you're stuck in someone's gut all the time. Yeah, he's still in there. He kinda decided to make me his permanent residence. You probably could see that coming from how this has been going. Second, I talked to him about his interesting use of language while I was in the process of writing this and he admits him not too good with the word making. That was his suggested line. I just added an article where it seemed fitting.

"Yeah, he's a kobold of few words. And that does pretty well sum up what we do here. If you're interested in giving it a shot, I suppose I could let you take his place for the day. If he decides he's just not gonna come out of there ever again, we can discuss you taking over for him full time. We'll have to pair you with a stud properly should that come up. For now though, I'll handle your 'studly needs' for today. Name's Kathy by the way. Nice to meet you." she said.

"Hi Kathy." it was all I could manage, because she was a god damn dragon and I was trying not to crap my pants.

"Alright, now I would assume he's still got the load of eggs he left work with on Friday?" the big lady asked.

I nodded, giving my big, round middle a pat. That wasn't a terribly wise idea. My eyes almost crossed from the sensation. And then Vhip decided that was his cue to start squirming around in there real good. I'm pretty sure I had lightly soaked my shorts on the walk to the office. That moment probably created a visible, dark, wet spot between my legs. It was hard to see given that my Vhip-bulge was big enough to conceal my groin from in front.

"Y-yeah... ooof... he never laid them." I was losing my composure thanks to that naughty little lizard rolling around inside me.

"Then let's get you to a bed so you can lie down and get ready to lay your eggs. Since he's in there, that means his eggs are your eggs. You are familiar with the whole master-kobold relationship, right?" Kathy asked, no doubt wanting to cover all her bases just in case I was a complete idiot, which was a wise course of action.

"No, no we're not doing the master thing. I was pretty insistent on that. If wants this to be a serious, long-term association, then I'd rather him say we're boyfriends." the last thing I needed or wanted was someone else treating Vhip like he belonged to me.

I mean, yeah, he kinda did. If he was gonna be spending so much time in my belly, then I suppose I did pretty much 'own' him. But not like property or a slave or anything like that. And not like I was his dad and he was my kid. Although we had played around with that idea in the bedroom over the weekend. It's hard to explain without it feeling super creepy or something. It's a kind of ownership that means I'm responsible for him. I take care of him and he keeps me company. Like a pet, but not. I dunno. I'm not good explaining this thing. There are better books that talk all about master/slave, pet/owner relationship stuff in a healthy, open, and detailed way. I've had a couple suggested to me and I plan on reading them all. I kind of need to if I'm gonna be able to explain what Vhip and I are to each other. At least 'boss lady' seemed to accept my poor explanation of our situation.

Kathy led me down one of the rows of beds, looking for an empty one. Most were occupied and the people occupying them were swollen about the middle like me. Though I don't think there was anyone my height that was quite as big as I was. Then again, I might be small for my class. I learned later that there are a couple of folks there so productive they end up too big to fit in a bed so they just stand up the whole time they're laying eggs. I don't think that would be something I'm that fond of for myself. The people assisting the layers, or would they be called mothers? The people laying the eggs, the folks helping them, most of them were just as round and heavy. In fact, besides a couple of the assisting staff, the only person who wasn't big and round was Kathy herself. I couldn't help but take note of that and bring it up. Even if it was a stupid thing to try to make conversation about.

"So... since you're the boss... and you can handle the 'studly duties' as you put it, do you ever do any laying yourself?" real smooth Tom, not indelicate at all.

Thankfully, Kathy wasn't the sort to be easily ruffled or insulted. She took me at face value. Apparently my face value is higher than I give myself credit.

"I do indeed. Almost every day. I'm between clutches at the moment. I usually wait until everyone's in for the day before I get filled up. Just in case there's a situation like this. A lack of belly helps should I need to 'assist' with the laying." she said.

"Assist with the laying? What does that mean?" I was so innocent back then.

"It means if you have a difficult time laying your eggs, I jam this up your ass to help you relax." Kathy said as she turned around and reached down to grip her length.

It had stiffened up some, possibly from the walk, getting tossed back and forth, swaying side to side with her broad, motherly hips. I could only begin to guess how many eggs she could produce in a single clutch. And how many she could make someone produce in a single clutch. That puckering sense of phantom pain returned and I felt my cheeks clench together. Hopefully I wouldn't be required to take that monster. Then again, it might make for a hell of a story to tell others. I'd be the life of the party with tales of the obscenely huge things that keep getting pushed inside me.

"That makes you relax?" sounds counterintuitive, doesn't it?

"It does--after a little while. Of course, it depends on the person. Some people get settled in right away. Some take a little while to get used to it. When they do, then come the eggs," Kathy said as she approached, "Let's go get you into position and see if you're gonna need help. And if that's the case, we'll see about making sure you're filled back up after."

The tall, dark lady rest a paw on my shoulder and spun me around. She started walking me forward, heading for one of the rows of beds, which really looked more like oddly designed recliners after I got a better look at them. It reminded me of the hospital beds I'd seen on television back home, but these looked like they were designed to handle a lot more than just the weight of one person. Kathy guided me to one in particular, I'm not sure why that one was picked. Maybe it was her favorite. Maybe the others were reserved for someone else.

Dragon-lady told me to undress and I admit I was a little hesitant. Have you ever undressed in front of your friend's boss? Yeah, I didn't think so. And I was doing it while I was a big, roly-poly, chunky boy because Vhip was being his stubborn little self and didn't want to come out. Okay, I'll admit that part was really adorable, and yeah, I was enjoying it. But it didn't change the fact that I was extremely self-conscious about it. The fact that Kathy was completely nude helped ease me down off that anxiety a bit. Seriously, if I didn't feel awkward for staring, I'd have been unable to tear my eyes away.

She helped me up into position once I was naked. Not only was she big, but she was strong. I feel like she could have easily just torn me in half. And you know what? She probably wouldn't need to use her paws to do it. I wonder if there have been any incidents reported where she was trying to help someone 'relax' and it went a little too far. I just hoped I wouldn't be one of them. My legs got hoisted up into the stirrups once I was in place and I felt very much like I was kinda on display.

Why would I think that you ask? Because Kathy stepped back, crossed her arms, and tilted her head while she looked over everything hiding under my kobold-stuffed gut. You know how people look when they're at the museum and they're staring at a painting that 'makes them think'? Or they're pretending to be deep in thought? Think that, but with disappointment. I kinda got the impression she was underwhelmed. With a dick as big as hers, I'll bet she finds most guys underwhelming.

"You should be pretty comfy. If you're not, say something now. I'm gonna be your coach for today," Kathy said, "Vhip, you ready in there?"

As if on command, my little friend started wiggling around, trying to turn himself in one direction then another. I almost went cross-eyed while it happened. I couldn't help but hold my stomach as it wobbled visibly. There was a definite result downstairs from all the commotion because Kathy stepped in and began fondling me. I'm not gonna say no to a big, scary dragon lady who wants to have a good look at the merchandise. She might decide to be a little less kind. 'You don't piss off a dragon' seems like it should be common sense in this world, just as a rule of thumb.

"Is... is this part of... the whole getting me relaxed process?" I need to work on my conversation game, especially in the area of trying to make small talk while someone's grabbing my junk.

"Doesn't hurt to give a newcomer a quick exam. Getting aroused by it is perfectly normal. Try not to feel embarrassed about it. Vhip! Are you ready!?" Kathy said, raising her voice louder towards the end.

"Vhip ready! Hard hear outside!" he said.

"Alright, then let's get Tom started on laying his first clutch. If you're lined up, get going." Kathy replied.

That was when I felt the oddest thing. Okay it wasn't really that odd, all things considered, but it was still pretty damned peculiar. You try going through everything I've gone through and try to think of any of it as normal. Anyway, I felt this weird sensation. Something was definitely moving around in my gut, but it wasn't like Vhip tossing and turning. It felt like something was trying to push its way out of me. It had to be one of his eggs. That was the whole point of this lewd exercise after all. At first, I didn't really think much of it. Then, as Vhip continued to push, I felt something inside me kind of snap to attention.

Everything tensed up. My toes curled and my legs flexed in the stirrups. I suddenly found it difficult to breathe, because my breath had just been taken away. There was the sense of contraction I'd come to know while Vhip was messing around inside me, only it was trying to push in the other direction. It was forcing something out of me rather than trying to pull something in. I couldn't quite make out the shape from feel alone, but I knew what it was. I felt a decent stretch as the first egg descend through me. I gasped again as I felt it reach the end of the road and force my shiny new lips to spread open.

I thought Vhip going in was pretty intense. I'd never really experienced anything coming back out before. This wasn't anywhere near as big as my little kobold friend, but it was big enough. I tried not to squirm but it was hard, just like I was right then. Harder than learning Klingon, and I didn't even need a boner pill to make it happen. This was an entirely new experience and it was driving me bananas already. Kathy cupped her paws between my legs and waited as I wriggled away. With a quiet little slurp, the egg escaped and I collapsed, panting for breath. Imagine an itch you can't reach, a tickle you can't stop, and what I can only describe as a phantom blow job. You picture all that and you'll get close to what it was like laying an egg. And Vhip had a bunch more to go.

I was able to recover fairly quickly, mainly because it had been so short a trip. That one egg had taken less than thirty seconds to slip from Vhip's hold, down through me, into Kathy's paws. She polished it and dried it off before setting it aside, immediately returning to catch the next one. She didn't miss a beat. She even began to give me a little massage kind of action. It was clear she wasn't trying to have fun with me. She was trying to help me lay Vhip's eggs more easily. Still felt a little bit like we were on a really weird date.

"Vhip usually averages around eighteen eggs per clutch. He's a pretty good producer for his size. Try to breathe slow and steady and fight the urge to push. Your body should know what to do." Kathy said.

"That's easy for you guys to say. People laying eggs is probably pretty normal around here. Not so much where I'm from. Hell, I didn't even have the place where Vhip's curled up a few days ago." I was sure that the instinct to lay eggs had been bred out of my species long before my kind lost all our fur.

"You'd be surprised what your body knows. Just try to keep calm. You'll get into a rhythm before you know it." the dragon lady said.

That suddenly clicked in my head. Some of the other 'producers' we had walked past were species not exactly known for laying eggs back where I came from. I swear I saw a skunk, a wolf, hell I even saw a god damned lion with a big bushy mane and everything. Another egg began to push its way down and out of me. The orange-sized thing gave me another good stretch and I was left to wriggle and moan. Right, breathe evenly, that was what she had said. I tried my best to follow directions, but damn it was hard not to focus on the fact that I was actually laying a god damned egg. Me, a human. Not just a human, but a guy to boot. I was laying an egg. Sure it wasn't technically mine. It belonged to a short, cute little lizard guy that had decided to crawl up my brand new birth canal and make himself a little home in my tummy, but I was laying it.

What the fuck have you done lately?

I made all manner of noises as the second egg slipped out. Kathy caught it, wiped it down, added it to the first, then dove back in for the next. I could already feel number three starting to slide into my canal as Vhip pushed it out of himself. Big sexy dragon lady was right, there was a rhythm to it. And strangely, that helped. I think it had to do with the start-stop thing. Like if you just keep doing a thing, you don't realize quite how powerful it is until you stop, then start back up again. Think about it like this; go sit in a hot tub--even though the public ones are totally gross--then go jump in a regular swimming pool after a bit, then when you've cooled down you go jump back in the hot tub. While you're in either the hot tub or the pool, you don't really notice how hot or how cold it can really feel, not until you go jump in the other. The sudden difference is really strong.

Come to think of it, I'll bet laying eggs in a hot tub might not be a bad idea. Probably would need to keep the temperature low enough so that it doesn't soft boil them in the shell. You know what? Scratch it. That's a terrible idea. Who would catch the eggs? Would they float or sink? Someone would have to dive under the water to get them, and I'm pretty sure they don't want to be swimming in water that's been spiked with a certain juicy contribution. Then again, some folks might be into that. Hell, Vhip crawled his way up through that whole area.

It was weird. I kind of fell into a sort of trance kind of thing. I don't know what it was. I was still able to feel everything but it felt far away. Like how the TV sounds when you're in the other room, or when you touch something after sitting on your hand until it goes numb. Yes, yours truly is well acquainted with the stranger, I said don't judge. You'd be itching to try something a little different during the kinds of dry spells I had too. But that's kinda what it was like. It was there, but it wasn't right in my face about it. I was able to distract myself with a lot of different thoughts. I'm writing about them right now in fact. The whole hot tub idea flashed through my head while I was working on those eggs. If I had to guess, I went through at least five of them while I considered the potential logistic and hygienic issues of laying eggs in a hot tub. I'll bet Plato or Gandhi would have thought about something more profound. A philosopher, I ain't.

Other thoughts ran through my head while I just let myself scream and squirm. Like I wondered if there were animal versions of famous people in this world. Then came the animal puns. I got a few really good ones while I was working out the last few eggs. A dapper looking grizzly guy in a suit and glasses hosting a late night variety talk show, Stephen Col-bear. The author guy responsible for that series about tits, incest, murder, frost zombies, and dragons only he's related to the weasel family, George R. R. Marten. That wizarding world kid with the lightning scar, yeah, his actor only he's a rodent, Daniel Rat-cliff. I'm tellin' you, I got really good at it. When I got to Megan Fox, I started wondering about those cartoons I used to watch as a kid and how they probably indoctrinated me to think about animal people like that.

My concentration on such important thoughts was suddenly broken when a rather stout orgasm ripped through me. My attention was jerked back to the fact that I had a very curvy, very tall, and no doubt very deadly dragon fondling my privates. Something about that was kind of hot. And she was certainly not at all unpleasant to look at, as much as that makes me sound like a fucking pig. Okay maybe not a pig considering I'm sure they had some of those around. I'm not sure how to say what I'm trying to say without sounding like a sexist bastard. Kathy's very pretty. And it's not just horny-human-guy-wants-sex saying that. I'm not ashamed to admit I was kind of jealous of the fact that she got to have such fantastic tits and I didn't get to try out a set of my own. I mean, I'd already blurred the gender lines, why not go that much further? It couldn't hurt right?

I made a huge mess between my legs. I didn't think I was capable of actually shooting hard enough to arc up over my gut. It had shrunk a bit, thanks to evacuating just shy of twenty eggs, but it was still housing a kobold of no insignificant size. He was short, but he wasn't that short. I was out of breath, covered in my own sticky, and angry that I had suddenly forgotten a really damn good celebrity animal pun. I was going to go nuts trying to find it again. It was Steven Seagull in case you're wondering. I remembered it while I was writing all of this down.

"Is... Is that it?" In case you were wondering about this bit too, yes, I was actually disappointed there weren't more to lay.

"That's it. Unless Vhip's holding out on us," Kathy said, then leaned in close and raised her voice, almost shouting at my stomach, "You're not holding out on us, are you Vhip?"

"No more egg! Vhip empty!" he called out, sounding completely unfazed by the whole event, "Vhip get more egg now? Marco fill up?"

My first reaction was to roll my eyes. Of course my little kobold boyfriend wanted to get right on the next batch. Dude's a little overachiever if ever there was one. I think he was trying to get the jump on things because he assumed I was going to want to get stretched all the way back out. He wasn't wrong.

My second reaction was confusion. How the hell was Vhip going to get filled back up? He wasn't going to come crawling out of me, go screw this 'stud' he had been assigned, then slide back up inside me like I'm a pink, squishy sleeping bag, was he? No, that didn't make any sense. If that had been the case, he would have just gone ahead and started climbing out, not bothering to ask permission.

My third reaction, after I had a moment to process what he had asked, was fear and panic. He wasn't going to come out to get filled up, so that meant he was expecting this Marco guy to be big enough that he could fill Vhip back up while he was still inside me. If I thought the little guy inside me was packing some serious hardware, just what the hell did Marco have, and did this company have some spare crutches I could borrow? If he was as big as I was picturing, then he was going to leave me walking funny. Hell he probably left Vhip walking funny, and not just because of his stomach.

"No, Vhip. Marco's not going to fill you up today. He's scheduled some time off. I didn't push to find out what he was gonna get up to, but he's going to be out for the next couple of days. Something about his brother needing him to fill in for a bit. I think it's some kind of specialty club." Kathy said.

"Aww, Marco not help Vhip make egg? What Vhip do?" my little hidden boyfriend actually sounded sad, like he was genuinely distraught over the idea.

Honestly, I wasn't quite sure I was ready to have someone as big as this Marco guy sounded stuffing me. Oh how I wish I could have seen what was coming.

"Don't cry," Kathy said, rolling her eyes a little, "You'll get filled back up. I promise. For now though, until Marco gets back, I'll fill in for him. That is, if your 'chauffeur' will allow it."

My belly came alive with a powerful squirm. It was so strong it took my breath away. That was usually the reaction, I'll grant you, but this was different. It was like he was compressing my lungs. It was so stout a wriggle that I started to wonder if he had been holding out on me since this whole 'pregnancy' started. I clutched my gut as it bulged and wobbled like those cartoons where a big, mean wolf or something eats a bunch of little pigs or other small animals and they all fight to get out. I didn't know if he was upset or excited, but holy crap was it a hell of a thing. He could have done that all he wanted and I would have gone back to thinking up stupid celebrity animal puns.

"Vhip get egg from boss!? Boss give Vhip egg!? Really!?" clearly, he was excited.

"Yeah, if Tom here says it's okay. If I'm gonna fuck you, I gotta fuck him first," Kathy said, lifting her gaze to meet mine, "So how 'bout it? You feel up to this? If you say no, that's fine. You can let him out and I'll take care of what we need done without troubling you."

My first reaction was to keep moaning while Vhip kept me hyper-stimulated with his little dance of joy right on top of my spleen. Okay, technically he wasn't on top of my spleen. A mother's organs all shift and kind of move up out of the way when she gets pregnant so that the baby has somewhere to grow. Yeah, I know random pregnancy facts. I watched a lot of public access science shows when I didn't have enough money to pay for cable. As for my other reactions, you can probably guess the rest of them so I'll just skip to it.

"You want to have sex with Vhip, while he's still inside me? You want to have sex with me, so you can have sex with him?" remember I said I had a mind like a steel trap?

Yeah, this wasn't me being stupid. This was me wanting, no, needing to make sure I understood exactly what was being discussed so that I could make an informed decision. I had seen what this black dragon lady was packing. She could easily tear me in half with it. Then again, I did have a kobold carrying a clutch of eggs crawl his way up inside me and I didn't rip open. I swallowed and shivered a little, afraid of the direction my head was going. I couldn't help it. I had to know. When a big, sexy, boss-dragon-lady asks if you want to fuck, you say yes!

"You don't miss a trick, do you?" Kathy asked, clearly teasing me.

"I uh... I don't really see any reason to say no. Um... do we do it right here?" that was a pretty sensible question, but my next one was probably one of the most idiotic things I've ever asked, "Will you need some kind of protection?"

It should be painfully clear to you by now that I have absolutely no shame. I'm willing to make sure I'm embarrassed to hell and back just so you can have as crystal clear and accurate a picture of what I've been through. I'm painting my portrait, warts and all. Yeah, I just quoted Oliver Cromwell, dude that managed to turn the English monarchy into a republic for a while. Again, lots and lots of public access television. Anyway Kathy laughed so hard I started thinking maybe I had a future as a stand-up comic.

"What!? Protection!? Are you serious!?" the big dragon lady asked, no doubt questioning my sanity and intelligence.

"Right... eggs... sorry. Still trying to get all cylinders firing again." which was only partially true.

Yeah, my head was still spinning a bit, but when it comes to sex when it involves the vagina, I programmed myself to never forget to bring up the notion of birth control of some kind. I had a scare back when I was dating this one lady a while back. I was totally not ready to be a dad. Thankfully, she didn't end up pregnant, but it was a bullet I had dodged only by the skin of my teeth and I learned my lesson real fast. If you're gonna sleep with a lady and you're not ready to be a dad, you better wrap your god damn crap. If you can stick it in and squirt, it's your responsibility to make sure you don't cause any 'unintended consequences'. Seriously, that's on you, boys.

Well, boys and girls I guess since clearly in this world anyone can have a dick. And you don't have to be one of just two options I guess so... boys, girls, and anyone who doesn't subscribe to a binary gender construct. See? I can be inclusive. It just takes me a bit to remember some of this stuff. I promise I don't mean anything hateful by it. I'm just slow on the uptake.

"Well you better get those cylinders firing pretty quick. Unless you want me to do all the driving, which I can do if that's what you want." Kathy said.

She was already beginning to help me take my legs out of the stirrups. The posture had been oddly comfortable at first, but now I was glad I could close my thighs. I was sore. Mothers, you know what I'm talkin' about. And so do you, you kinky-ass boys who are into that kinda thing. I didn't know I was, but hey, boner landmine. Looks like I stepped on it and now it's my kinda thing.

"I think you might have to. I'm still new to all of this and I'm kinda worn out. The whole 'corporate sanctioned fucking' is a new one on me so I'll let you make the big decisions. Wouldn't want to do something that requires HR getting involved, right?" that was another lesson I learned pretty quick back home, and it was entirely by accident, I swear.

"Alright, I'll show you the ropes. Let's get you somewhere a little more comfortable for 'corporate sanctioned fucking' as you put it." Kathy said.

I think she liked my stupid little joke. She wasn't flirting with me, was she?

I was pulled up onto my feet, feeling just a bit lighter than when I sat down. Of course, after such a workout, I still had about as much trouble carrying everything. Kathy helped keep me from falling over. You know, this whole egg-laying thing might actually be a valid exercise routine. Need to look into it more. Tall, dark, and busty guided me over to what was basically a giant bed. It didn't have a headboard, and it didn't have pillows or sheets other than something like a fitted topper, but it was basically a bed. And it had more than enough room for her, so it wouldn't have any trouble with me at all.

Kathy climbed up onto the 'bed' and pulled me up to join her. In only a few minutes, I was in her lap, my back pressed against her stomach, her tits pressing down on my shoulders and gently squeezing my head. She had me sitting directly on top of her 'battering ram' since it was big enough she could use it to knock down doors. I was practically straddling it, and feeling that hot, pulsing thing mashing up against me from underneath, especially after what I had just been through, oh man I thought I was gonna melt.

"I'll give you a little bit to catch your breath, and to let Vhip make sure he's still lined up correctly. Don't want to accidentally miss and cum in you instead, right? You don't have the same setup as he does to make eggs, do you?" Kathy asked.

"As far as I know. Humans don't exactly lay eggs." I said, trying very hard not to wiggle and squirm too much.

At this point, I was kind of wanting it. Who knew that being a mother hen would get you so riled up?

"We can fix that. There are plenty of non-egg-laying species here who get the conversion so they can do the work. That is, if you're interested. Hell if you really want, you can just leave Vhip in there and let him do all the egg-making for you. It's rare to see this kind of setup, but it's a pretty sweet arrangement if you ask me." she said, cupping a rather large palm against my stomach.

God, you have no idea how good it feels to have a ridiculously large hand, or paw I guess, press against your stomach when you're as swollen as I was. I mean just god damn. I was completely useless. She could have done whatever she wanted to me and I'd have just let her. I pressed my own hands to my gut and squeezed, trying to see if I could still feel Vhip's shape under my skin. Like he'd actually gone anywhere, right? I could feel him squirming away, not really trying to do anything other than make me into a drooling, moaning, cross-eyed wreck. He was good at that.

"Vhip ready! Vhip want egg! Boss give egg if Tom ready!" my little scaly buddy practically chirped.

Have I mentioned just how cute his little noises are? Seriously, it's unbelievable precious. I felt kind of like one of those douche-bags who keeps a pet snake and tries to show it off to everyone he invites over because he thinks it makes him look cool. Only this was a hell of a lot sexier. Yeah, I called all of this sexy. I'd drunk the flavor-aid by this point. I was into it. And yeah, flavor-aid. That's the drink that was used at the event everyone references when they try to say they joined in. I mean a lot of public access television. Better education than school provided if you ask me. And they wanna keep cutting funding for it. Fuck them.

"Alright, alright. God, I'll never get used to just how eager he is. How do you deal with it?" Kathy asked, actually addressing me.

"I'm still figuring things out. It's all still pretty new. Honestly, with how much has changed since I showed up, I'm kinda shocked I'm not nearly as freaked out as I probably should be. And if he's ready, then you might as well get started. The sooner you start, the sooner you can move on to everyone else who needs it, right?" in my head, I was screaming for her to not go help anyone else.

She should stay right where she was and keep me from feeling out of place, and punch drunk. But then she was the boss, and I was the keeper of one of her employees. He had a job to do, and so did she.

"Alright, let's get going then. Just say something if you get overwhelmed and we need to stop." the dragoness said.

Polite and thoughtful of her to say that. But then, that ought to be the standard if you ask me. There'd be a lot less trouble in the world if people asked politely and made sure that everything could stop if things got out of hand. And that's just for sex. Imagine how much better it'd be if you applied it to everything else.

I was rocked forward onto my hands and knees. Vhip sagged down underneath me until my tummy was resting on the bed. That felt kind of nice. I made a mental note to try it again when we got home. I couldn't help but really get into this whole pregnancy thing. And it was about to get a bit more intense. Kathy shuffled up behind me and pressed the 'head of the department' against me. Get it? If you don't, then just screw off, that's a funny euphemism.

For a hot second, I was beginning to wonder if I'd made the right choice to agree to this. She was huge. It felt like Vhip's head was about to be stuffed in me all over again. And that had been a pretty wild experience. She pushed forward when I didn't say anything. To say that the noise I made could be described as a yelp would not be inaccurate. She stretched me open and I realized something in that moment. This was the first time I was having sex, like the correct way, as a girl. Vhip had just climbed on in first thing after realizing I'd taken his medicine. He'd done some kinky stuff to me once he was in, but never the traditional, tab A into slot B thing.

In a sense, I was losing my virginity to a dragon. I don't know why, but given how geeky I had proven to be from time to time, it seemed fitting. Those new petals of mine down there were put to the test, forced to yawn open around the huge thing I was being forced down onto. Though, force is perhaps too strong a word. Kathy was being very careful. She didn't try to shove or get real aggressive. She was taking her time, listening to me, checking with me, making sure I was okay. And I was really okay. Oh boy was I okay. I was so okay that I couldn't get the 'kay' part of the word out.

After a few minutes of very slow going, I felt the dark lady's thighs pressing against mine. I could also feel a very large scrotum pressed up against mine from behind. Jesus, she really did put me to shame. And more than that, I could feel her breasts pressing down against me again. I was sure she was going to make my head disappear between them, then just leave me jabbed down on her while she walked around the place, doing her rounds or whatever. Honestly, I would not have minded that. And the mental image of it was pretty great. I think I had a little mini-orgasm right then.

I didn't have anything to say at the time; no snarky comments, no witty comebacks, and definitely no sweet nothings. It was just one, long, loud groan. When she had me on her completely, I felt Vhip stir around under my skin. That jerked me out of the 'Oh' sound and made me gasp. He made some very cute little noises that I'd heard before and then he froze. All his movement stopped except for a rapid, slight rise and fall. He was panting. He had taken it upon himself to get impaled on the dragon's dick just like I was. He was in position and ready to receive.

"Oooh, there we go. I've got him now. Everything still okay, Tom?" Kathy asked.

"Y-y-y-you bet." Fucking hottest dirty talk of all time, right there.

The big lady didn't ask or say anything else after that. She just leaned back to sit up. I went with her. She had wrapped her arms around my chest and pulled me along for the ride. All the weight I had been carrying suddenly pushed down into her lap. I could feel her sac under me. She had kept her legs spread so that I wasn't in her lap properly. No, I was sitting on her nutsac like it was a bean bag chair. The 'executive class seat' I like to call it. Vhip squirmed around again and this time I could actually feel him pushing down on her from inside me. He let out a little yowl as soon as he was sunk down on the big lady as far as he could physically reach.

This was it. I was in for a hell of a pounding. I just knew it. This big, scaly lady didn't just sit you on her and hold you there. No, she liked to fuck. I just knew it. She was gonna take me on a wild tour of the inside of my own mind while I tried to wrap it around what was happening. I was gonna be sore as hell after this was all over. I braced myself, waiting for the eventual hammering, but it never really came.

Instead, she lifted me up oh so slowly, then sank me back down. It was spine-tingling. No wonder girls ask you to go slower. You can feel everything. I just arched my back and tried to shove my head up between her breasts. 'Just take me and walk around with me bouncing around on your dick, please!' That's what I was thinking. Instead, she just repeated the action. And she didn't even pull out that far. I moved maybe as far as the distance between the heel of my palm to the end of my middle finger. Now for those of us out there with ordinary sized junk, that's pretty much the whole damn thing, ya know, if you're lucky. For Kathy, it wasn't even half.

She began repeating the action, and I got to feel those scaly arms wrap around me a little tighter. It wasn't like she was trying to hold me hostage. It felt like she was hugging me. And I know what you're thinking. Scales, that shit can't be too cozy to snuggle up against. I'm telling you, she was so smooth and soft, good lord it was wonderful. She had a feel like she was padded just enough all over that you could press your face into any part of her and it would squeeze to cup against your cheeks. All except for that rock hard thing shoved inside me. You shove your face in against that and you're asking to get used as a living condom. And I can speak from experience as to what that's like. Five stars, would recommend. If they had an app like 'Yelp' in this world, I'd have written a glowing review of Kathy's dick.

I rode up and down slowly on her, all thanks to her impressive strength and careful nature. It was kinda like a really kinky merry-go-round. And that got me to thinking about building an actual merry-go-round where you sit on someone's dick and you go up and down while you pass by people standing around watching. Gotta get that patent. Anyway, my sexy carousel ride went on for a good few minutes. I could hear Vhip making his noises in my belly. I could see his little paws pushing out, making me realize he was turned the same direction as me. He was getting almost exactly the same treatment as I was.

And the little guy didn't even have to walk anywhere to get it. I just took him straight to the dick and he got to enjoy it. Lazy bum. I'd tell him to get a job, but technically, this was it.

I won't bother telling you about the undignified noises I made or the things I said while I was getting fucked as a woman for the first time. But just imagine me as a slobbering, mindless, intoxicated party girl with a huge, moving gut, and you're pretty much there. I was pretty out of it, and it was pretty great. I had lost all sense of time as I got pumped up and down slowly and steadily. I could feel every detail on the big dragon lady's shaft. Then she started to twist me. I got turned one way, then the other, oh so slowly. Holy shit-balls, guys. It was like someone had just set off a bolt of lightning inside me. A bomb made of electricity. I'm sure there's a video game somewhere out there that has some kind of weapon that can visualize what this felt like.

I practically screamed and made a terrible mess. Those new lips of mine squeezed hard, like I had a god damn shop vice in between my legs. Kathy felt me clench up as I came, soaking her crotch and adding a new coat of primer to the underside of my gut. What did she do? She jabbed me down hard on her. That set Vhip off. He made a sort of shriek noise. Kind of like a squeal but certainly something of surprise. He churned hard in my womb and I just rolled my eyes back in my head. I had nothing left to give from my voice.

Then came the dragon's climax. She came, and she came hard. I don't know what it's like firsthand because she had directed it immediately into my kobold boyfriend roommate passenger child. Yeah, lotta labels there, pick whichever one you like best. Or pick a whole mess of them. They're all pretty accurate. He inflated like a god damned balloon, which made me blow up too. My stomach stretched back out to however big it had been before Vhip had me lay his eggs. It was incredible. It took a few minutes to get there, but I could easily feel each hot jet from the dragon lady filling him up inside me.

The earlier orgasm I had gotten was just the start. I was hit with another and it crashed into me like a fucking tidal wave. I made another mess, but this time I managed to find a new sound to make. It was loud and incoherent. I don't think a human's ever made that noise before. I'm thinking I'm gonna call it a 'ruck'. It's the roar you make when you're getting really deeply fucked. Well, I 'rucked' as loud as my lungs would let me. The shaking and squirming and squirting didn't stop for a while, but when it did, I was warm and tingly all over. I don't know if Kathy had done something to me, cast a spell or whatever, because holy shit did she have one hell of a magic wand.

I was pretty close to passing out right then and there, but she kept a hold of me. Of course, eggs would come from it. Vhip would have me lay them for him. Then if I was lucky, Kathy would do it all over again. Vhip said he'd managed four clutches the other day. If I got this four times in one day, I might just start up The church of Our Lady's Dragon Cock. I'll think of a better name when I'm filling out the paperwork and picking out a place of worship. While I sat there in Kathy's lap, trying to catch my breath, she just gave my bigger belly a gentle pat.

"Yeah, think you'll fill in for Vhip nicely. Hell, if you wanna come see me in the off hours, I can help you get a few extra clutches in between shifts." she said.

Again, I couldn't tell if she was flirting with me or if she was just trying to be a good boss. But whatever. I'd happily accept this arrangement as a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing. And it would make me money as well.

I wonder if that means I'm a prostitute.