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A Pirate Feast

By Stephen Landis

Set in the Grimmerspace Universe

All Rights Reserved

The mood aboard the Self-Justification was one of celebration as the pirate frigate came upon the transport broadcasting a distress signal out in the cold depths of space. Alone and suffering engine trouble out in the endless black, some merchants really were stupid to risk working alone on a big score. Shame that big score was going to be the Justification's now.

“Alright now, you just surrender your cargo like a good little capitalist pig and we won't hurt you, promise!" Prin-x demanded sweetly, the human pirate cutting off the communications before the other ship could even think about reply.

The rest of the band of human pirates laughed and giggled at their captain's message once the communications were silenced. “Think they're going to believe it?"

Prin-x smiled. “It would be funnier if they did but it wouldn't bother me at all if they didn't. I could use a good fight. Say girls, what's the name of the ship we're raiding anyway?"

Countez, the pirate at the science station, looked up. “Scans say its a medium Transport named the Bear Belly. Only one life sign and there do not appear to be any unusual modifications to the engines, hull, or weapons."

“Bare belly? They have a thing for bare midriffs?" Bar-ron, the ship's pilot, asked.

“No, no, bear, B-E-A-R. Like you carry something I guess." Countez replied.

“Why would you carry a belly? Some sicko have a thing for preggos or something?" Came the comment from Dayme, the ship's engineer and weapons officer.

“Whatever, if they're a sicko it explains why there's only one of them. Come on, enough gabbing. Bring us in Bar-Ron and let's get looting." Prin-x ordered.

The order was given, then repeated as the Self-Justification was brought up along side the Bear Belly and latched onto the larger ship's hull. The pirate crew each took a shotgun from the ship's armory and made their way aboard the unknown transport. Almost immediately it became apparent that this was no ordinary ship. The air lock took them into a small restaurant dining room with seating for twenty. Plush memory foam sofas were ringed around circular tables with ample spacing between each aisle of booths. Tucked in separate corners was a small alcove that turned out to be a bathroom and a cashier kiosk that accepted multiple hard and electronic currencies. Everything was dark, the owner had apparently killed the lights before they came aboard.

Prin-x scowled wordlessly as she glared at Countez. A restaurant, a god damn restaurant built inside of a cargo ship. She was going to be a complete laughing stock the next time they pulled into port if this ever got out, the pirate captain scowled as the four of them exited the dining room and entered a darkened corridor that ran the length of the ship. Silently she motioned for them to split up and search the ship for either the owner or something of value. Dayme would go back towards the rear to engineering, Bar-ron would follow Prin-x towards the front of the ship, and Countez was going to go across the hall into what had to be the restaurant kitchen…

The kitchen was dark when Countez walked through the bulkhead door separating it from the rest of the ship. Yet by this point it was almost expected, she rolled her eyes and felt around for a light switch on either side of the doorway. The moment she found one, the room was immediately flooded with light. Blinking as her eyes adjusted to her surroundings, she blinked once more as she recognized most of the stationary equipment.

“This is a synthesis bay." the pirate mused under her breath as she looked around and noted the various devices that had been added or modified to turn the space into an industrial kitchen. Chemical synthesizers, mixers, and the like were mixed with multiple burners, distillation equipment, and equipment for flash freezing ingredients. All of it arranged neatly around central island where a large, curious energy rifle was set on its side as if the owner had just left it and intended to come right back.

Curious, the pirate stepped forward and picked the rifle up to examine it. It was plasma-based, and had been heavily modified multiple times as if the owner was constantly tinkering with it. Dials were attached to the body of the rifle to modulate the intensity and beam width of the plasma blast, the battery configuration had been extended... whoever assembled this thing knew what they were doing.

The admiration would have continued had a big gloved hand not reached down and gripped Countez's wrist. The pirate was spun around before she could react. Next thing she know, her world had turned black and sharp teeth were currently digging into her upper torso. Her face had gotten slick with saliva as she struggled and did her best to scream. But nothing could stop her from slowly sliding into the creature's gullet after strong hands frisked her and stripped of her of her weapons and her utility belt. Nothing could stop her from disappearing down into the warm, slimy darkness of her attacker's stomach…

Dayme walked into the darkened engineering bay, her flashlight illuminating life-support, power generation, and the ship's conventional and FTL engines. Not bothering with the lights, she focused on the ship's FTL engine. “Hmmm, interesting. Well this would explain the merchant's problem, this engine is not configured for conventional hyperspace folding. Why wouldn't it be configured for that though?" The pirate engineer mused before she was startled by the sound of something metallic clanging against the metal floor of the ship.

Turning her head and her flashlight in the direction of the noise, she immediately chastised herself. “Stupid, it's just a wrench falling onto the floor. Nothing worth jumping over." She remarked and took a step back… bumping into something very large and very soft standing behind her.

Dayme barely had enough time to catch a flash of pearly-white teeth before her attacker had her in a tight hug and lifting her up off her feet. Her flashlight fell to the floor in the ensuing struggle, causing her world to turn black before she felt the creature's hot breath on her face...

Prin-x stopped short of the bridge, stopping to explore the captain's quarters as Bar-ron lagged behind in the hydroponics garden to see if there were any “medicinal" plants or if it was all just veggies, herbs, and spices. The quarters were cramped, not because of the size of the room but because of the furniture involved. Everything was scaled to a size larger then she was, making her feel like a child in a room built for an adult.

Climbing into the chair and adjusting it so she didn't have to reach so far, the pirate captain activated the computer console and discovered it wasn't password locked. Skimming through the files, she found most of it boring, spreadsheets and electronic recipe cards, until an unsent letter caught her eye.

To: Peter Flint, Erica Quinn

Subject: Why?

Why didn't you two tell me that you lost your jobs when your company got bought out and downsized? Why did you have me find out through the restaurant gossip? You both know I would have helped you. You were the only two that stuck with me after everyone else abandoned me out of disgust or fear that they would be the next victims. You were the moons that kept me balanced, the suns I orbited around… and now I'm just getting sappy. I'm going to stop writing this and just tell you as I drag you by the collars back to my ship.

Edit 1: If either of you get this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't start looking for you before you boarded that ship for parts unknown.

Edit 2: If either of you is still alive, I'm still sorry. When I dug into the company sponsoring your ship and discovered it was a shell that lead nowhere, I went to the authorities and was politely blown off. When I tried to follow your route myself and found that wormhole, I returned only to get blown off again despite having a lead on one of the greatest finds of the century. So no one is coming to save you… no one except me.

Yours forever, Adana Silver

Prin-x rolled her eyes as she finished reading the letter. What a weak, whiny little bitch. She thought before the sound of weapons fire echoed through the ship. Drawing her laser pistol and quickly rushing towards the fighting, she ran back to the hydroponics garden and immediately felt her blood run cold.

Standing upright, dressed in a bright plum purple jumpsuit and a matching floppy chef's hat, was a massive brown-furred being currently swallowing Bar-ron whole. The other pirate's flailing hands disappeared into the creature's greedy maw with one last gulp as Prin-x's crewmate landed in the creature's bulging, squirming belly with a visible thump.

The creature turned her head and looked directly at the remaining pirate, her rifle raised at the intruder. It was at this point that the realization hit her. Everything in the captain's quarters was scaled to this creature's height and width. This was Adana Silver. And the look in the massive alien female's eye told Prin-x that she was as weak and whiny as she was little.

The remaining member of the Self-Justification looked her opponent squarely in the eyes, fighting to keep the tremble out of her gun hand as she spoke. “So… you must be Adana."

The being growled, replying with a response that Prin-x heard with her mind as much with her ears. “Yes. And you must be the captain of these idiots. Thought I smelled an alpha bitch creeping up on me."

She didn't know quite how to respond to that. “Look… I can help you find them. Peter and Erica."

Adana kept her expression unreadable, or was that because Prin-x couldn't read how that long, canine-like snout changed Silver's facial expressions? The bloated, brown-furred female was silent then finally raised her rifle and pulled the trigger.

The blast of plasma hit the pirate's chest with a searing heat, wounding her and knocking her off her feet. Adana Silver lumbered over and grabbed Prin-x by the arm, lifting her up and up until she was eye level with Adana. The last thing the marauder remembered before joining the rest of her crew was the look of utter disgust in the greedy giant's eyes...

Adana Silver belched as she sat down on the bridge of her ship, the Bear Belly, and gently rubbed her squirming stomach. “Settle down now my four little food babies. Settle down for mama bear." She cooed softly as her hands lovingly massaged the indentations of hands and faces appearing against the outline of the bloated gut spread out before her.

Her belly merely gurgled and uttered some muffled cries in reply, the four pirates having worn themselves out to the point where they could no longer scream. The brown bear sow smiled and continued to affectionately caress her engorged abdomen when the bridge computer chimed with a status update. The handful of porter drones she had on board had finished searching the Self-Justification and begun loading the contents of the ship's pantry and treasure vault onto the Bear Belly. All that was left was to cannibalize the pirate ship's FTL engine and use the parts to rebuild her own engine.

Unfortunately that was something she needed to do herself as the drones were not precise or intelligent enough to do it for her. However, digestive torpor was starting to cloud her head, urging her to rest her eyes while her blood rushed down to her stomach. Maybe a short nap was what she needed to clear things up...

To: Magos Barker

From: Magos Romero

Another file regarding individuals that may be potentially troublesome. This one is particularly curious. I never expected anyone to survive the mad biological experiments of the Gene-Witch Coven much less end up on this database yet here we are. Unfortunately, due to the Coven's frankly abhorrent record-keeping practices, much of Adana's past life is unknown.

Name: Adana Silver (former name unknown)

Species: Uplifted Bear (former species believed to be Human)

Gender: Female (formerly Male)

Age: 29 (best estimate)

Homeworld: Was “reborn" in a remote Coven laboratory. Original homeworld unknown.

Polity: Ex-Pat from outside the Gliding Rim.

“Class": Mechanic with the Experimental Weapon Prototype specialization.

Affiliations: None, self-employed as a restaurant chef.

Psychological Profile: Being permanently transformed against her will had caused an unsurprising amount of psychological stress on Adana. While evaluations on her mental stability are unavailable, there are a number of rumors surrounding the fate of the research staff that transformed her. Interpret that how you will...