FSE

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Chapter 3

It was a week later, at least. Jayden wasn't exactly sure because he hadn't had a moment alone in a week, at least. Francis had stayed over every day, and they hadn't left the house, with the one exception being when Jayden's mother took them to Francis' house so he could sneak out some clothes.

Francis' parents seemed none the wiser that he'd been gone for a week, and they remained uninterested as he waltzed out the porch door with a large bag of clothing. They didn't say goodbye as he got back into the car, suggesting as to what they were really thinking. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Every day that slowly passed, Jayden wanted to ask Francis what he was feeling, but it seemed a little frivolous as his actions spoke volumes alone. Jayden just really wanted to hear him say it, because no one else ever had. It'd always been an unspoken agreement, because the words seemed to burn their tongue as they were about to escape.

Every night that went on in silence made Jayden want to make a move on Francis, because for the last few nights, the bear was pointing large neon signs towards his crotch. Figuratively speaking, of course.

It wasn't that Jayden didn't want to, because he wanted to so badly that it actually was starting hurt. He was just... afraid. He was at an awkward and incredibly fragile point in the relationship right now, and every little miscommunication made him freak out like Francis had just said he never wanted to see him again.

Jayden cared about Francis just enough that it would hurt if he left, and Francis didn't care enough that he would stay if Jayden didn't make his intentions more... pronounced. It was just that every time a guy's pants came off, they walked out the door and, this time, Jayden didn't want him walking out the door. But, if they really liked each other, sleeping together wouldn't mess it up, would it?

It was another hot afternoon, which wasn't surprising, since it was the beginning of July. His phone had said it was ninety-five degrees, but as the sun blinded them, despite the awning on his porch, he knew it had to be even hotter. Vapor wafted off the pavement and the flowers wilted slowly, unable to stand strong in the humid heat.

Jayden sneaked through the open porch door, holding two sodas as Francis stood with a cigarette perched in his fingers. The Coke can dripped icy water to the ground as it hovered inches from the bear's exposed neck. The heat was so extreme that Francis had actually taken off his sweatshirt.

Pressing the can to the side of Francis' neck, Jayden felt the bear's knees go weak under the pleasant cooling sensation. The wolf pulled it away and presented it to Francis, who grabbed it with his free hand.

"Thanks," he said, smiling back at him. Leaning over the railing, Francis looked down at the asphalt, trying to avoid gazing directly at anything even slightly reflective in the large field of metal cars and glass windows.

Wrapping his arms around Francis' audacious orange t-shirt, Jayden pulled himself closer until his chin was resting on the bear's shoulder. God, it was too hot out for even this to be enjoyable. Seeing that the ember of Francis' cigarette was hovering less than half an inch from the filter, Jayden snaked his hand up and grabbed it.

Francis didn't protest as he ground the butt on the edge and tossed it over into the sea of black. Jayden pulled himself away and slinked away into the house as Francis closed the porch door.

"What do you want to do?" Jayden asked over the slight pop of their soda cans.

"What I want to do is sit on my fat ass for the rest of the day and do nothing."

"Well, we can watch a movie. That involves a gratuitous amount of sitting."

"Sounds good," Francis said with a sigh, "I don't even think I have enough energy to move my mouse hand. I hate the heat, I wish it would just go kill itself."

"I'm not exactly, err, sure how the heat would go about doing that..."

"You know what I mean," Francis laughed, pushing Jayden through his bedroom door. He closed it and locked it behind him as Jayden knelt down on all fours to look through the bottom shelf of his bookcase.

Francis jumped on the bed with a loud creak and shuffled around on the bed so he could look down at Jayden. The wolf's claw landed on the top of a DVD case and he pulled it out, being sure to hide it from Francis' prying eyes.

"What movie are we watching?" Francis asked as Jayden crawled over to his computer tower.

"It's a secret," Jayden asserted, placing the DVD into the drive tray. They had the same taste in games, music and literature, now he was curious if they had the same taste in movies.

Francis pulled himself back onto the bed and reclined against the headboard, his arms folded behind his head. Jayden sat beside him with his legs crossed, and sighed peacefully as the fan whipped the air around them violently, giving the illusion that the room was cooler.

Jayden folded his fingers over his stomach and looked at Francis, watching his face crack into a grin at the opening credits. Loud music filled the room and the melodic sound of lasers firing pierced the overture. The bear's eyebrow perked up as he looked at Jayden happily. In long, crawling text the screen read, 'In a galaxy very, very, very, very far away...'

"Are you serious?" Francis asked and Jayden's smile faded instantly.

"What, you don't like this movie?"

"Don't like it?" Francis sputtered. His jaw dropped and his hands followed suit as they landed to his side, "This is one of my favorite movies. Of all time."

Jayden chuckled lightly, looking between Francis' smoky eyes as his face wrinkled under the force of the smile. Looking away nervously, he felt the sickeningly pleasant feeling of butterflies in his stomach. Scratching at the nail on his thumb, he looked up at Francis shyly.

"Well, what is your favorite movie?"

"I'd have to say Rent," Francis said, turning his gaze back to the television, "I know all the songs by heart."

"Me, too," Jayden mumbled.

It was eerie how much they had in common, but it was an unprecedented feeling to be able to know what someone was thinking, especially having only truly known them a week. Jayden had never been one to believe in soul mates, but this was... a little scary. He was used to having to try to find something in common so he could delude himself into thinking someone was right for him. But, with Francis, there was hardly a thing they didn't have in common and all the free time was spent actually having fun.

Francis reached his arms behind his head, shooting a quick glance at Jayden, hoping he wouldn't notice. Smiling to himself, he slid closer to the bear and, leaning down, he rest his head on Francis' stomach.

This was definitely not the position he wanted to be in, with his face inches from Francis' groin. Breathing in sharply through his nose, Jayden was intoxicated by the scent; both his vanilla body wash and the soft lavender of his detergent mingled in his nostrils.

He paid no attention to the movie as his head swam dizzyingly. Jayden's hand twitched spastically as it rest on his side while he tried to repress his desires. The rushing blood in his chest made his fingers quiver slightly as pulled his head up so he could push up Francis' shirt and lay on his bare fur.

Francis made no attempt to stop him and, as his ear ran along the soft fur, the pit of his stomach clenched. Francis leaned forward to pull off his shirt completely, pressing Jayden's face closer to the belt buckle than he felt comfortable. The bear sat back again without word but Jayden made no attempt to pull away. He could just reach out and pull off his belt, Francis wouldn't mind.

Jayden's groin stirred, trying to convince him silently and his chest ached as his hand moved closer to Francis' thigh, coming to rest on his leg. Francis' denim pants were rough to the touch as his palm dragged upwards slowly, stopping nervously just inches from his zipper. There was no way in hell he'd be able to stop himself now, even if he wanted to.

"Having fun down there?" Francis asked quietly and Jayden shuddered at the sudden interruption. Unsure of what to say, he looked up at the bear's deviant smile, his hand still resting on Francis' thigh. He let a jittering laugh pass through his thin smile.

"Not yet, no," Jayden said, his face falling onto Francis' stomach as he realized what he'd just said.

"Here, let me give you a head start," Francis breathed, and Jayden's eyes slid open as he heard something unzip behind his head. Jayden smiled at the bear, his innocence disappearing from his face; it was past their third date, right?

Was he neurotic? Sitting here worrying like a moron while someone he really liked was half... well, soon to be naked in his bed? He turned his head to look down at Francis' jeans, his black boxers poking through as his belt held his pants closed.

Jayden refused to acknowledge his fear as he reached up and undid the bear's belt, letting the buckle fall the side with a soft clatter. The button came undone with ease as the bulge pushed it's way through.

The heat of the room overwhelmed Jayden's senses as his insides began to slowly boil. The movie played pointlessly in the background as Jayden breathed deeply, wondering what the hell he was thinking. Francis remained perfectly still and silent as Jayden's hand ran across the smooth silk slowly, feeling what was just beneath the fabric.

The bear's back arched slightly as Jayden's claw ran up it, teasing him mercilessly. Reaching the tip, Francis' boxers pressed back roughly, eliciting a curious grin from Jayden. The fan blew on the both of them, but it didn't take away the crawling sensation beneath his skin or clear the haze in his head. He wanted nothing more than to rip off Francis' pants, but for once the small voice said worthwhile. He wanted to make this last. Jayden slowly pulled Francis' jeans down, letting the denim drag against his fur until his belt came to rest around his knees.

Jayden's pants quickly became cramped, despite the nagging thoughts that he was driving Francis away with every second that passed. He didn't want him to run away like the rest, but it was out of his control. He could only make the best of his time now.

His fingers curled around the silken boxers firmly and they slowly slid up and down. A slight pulse teased the tips of his fingers as he did so, getting the slightest rise out of Francis as he bucked his hips almost unnoticeably. Jayden's breathing came slowly, almost painfully as he fought against the constriction in his chest and the escalating body temperature.

Relenting his grip, he brushed his hand down Francis' bare thigh, feeling himself trembling as Francis' ragged breathes vibrated down through his body. Squeezing the bear's thigh sensually, Jayden kissed just below his stomach, right above his waistband, feeling the bear's increasing pulse on his lips.

Pushing himself away gruffly, Francis looked at him with a detesting gaze, but Jayden only smirked at him, pulling off his hat and tossing it across the room. Breathing deeply, he smelled the slight scent of sweat filling his small room, the fan whipping it at his face tauntingly. Biting his lip coyly, he grinned at Francis' chest as he lay splayed out on the bed, hands extended behind his head.

Jayden tugged off his shirt and it went sailing across the room, landing on top of the TV, muffling it. He kneeled in front of Francis, his fingers gripping tightly onto his thighs, making the bear look at him longingly. The wolf's hands ran through his fur, up past the bulge and stopped on his chest.

Jayden swung his leg over Francis, straddling him across the waist before he pulled his hands back down to the bear's stomach, running his quivering fingers through the sweaty fur. Francis' hands found their way to Jayden's belt buckle and one skilled finger snaked into the loop, pulling it out.

Leaning forward over the bear, Jayden's face hovered just in front of Francis', feeling every warm and violent breath. His stared into his blue eyes, watching the twinkle as the button on his pants was undone and his zipper gave way.

Jayden pulled out of one pant leg, and then the second, tossing his pants off the bed, leaving him in only his boxers. As he stared at Francis' lips, he wanted to kiss him but he found himself unable. He wanted their first kiss to be something different, something special, and this wasn't it.

Right now, however, he needed to do something, or the throbbing around his waist would surely kill him. The friction was almost too much to stand.

His hands slithered along Francis' arms until their fingers were placed perfectly atop each others. Francis curled his fingers with Jayden's and he smiled silently, leaning in to kiss him on the side of the neck. He could feel his pulse beneath his lips again and as Francis' moaned feebly, Jayden felt at complete peace, because all he wanted to do was make the bear feel as good as he did right now.

The wolf's hips bucked slowly, grinding his pelvis into Francis' as his mouth nipped at his neck, his teeth running across his skin, making him groan into Jayden's ear.

Francis pulled his hands away from Jayden's and gripped him around the waist, pressing himself against the wolf even harder. Jayden groaned loudly, his breath rushing down the bear's chest as he closed his eyes and got lost in the feeling. Francis' hand left his side and brushed along Jayden's boxers, but the wolf stopped him.

Opening his eyes, he looked into the bear's confused gaze before sliding down to kiss along Francis' chest. A hand grazed his upper arm and rubbed the top of his head as he migrated downward slowly, nipping at the bear's stomach, much to both their satisfaction. Soft groans filled the room as Francis massaged between Jayden's ears.

Jayden's claw ran along the waistband of Francis' boxers and the wolf exhaled painfully, the fullness in his chest suffocating him from the inside. His stomach seized in sick pleasure as he pulled off Francis' boxers, leaving him completely vulnerable.

The bear groaned and clenched his muscled as the cold air of the fan hit him. Regaining his composure, Francis gazed down at Jayden need fully as the wolf slid off his pants, leaving him completely naked.

Francis reached down and took hold of Jayden's hand, grasping it tightly as the wolf kissed the top of his thigh and his pelvis. The bear's claws dug into the back of Jayden's hands, but he didn't care as he kissed Francis' most sensitive area.

His free hand ran along it's length and Francis moaned loudly as Jayden rubbed the tip with his finger. Unable to maintain himself, Francis closed his eyes and pressed his head backwards into the pillow, the strong scent of sweat wafting off of him. The wolf positioned himself right beneath Francis, in between his legs and another hand rest on his head, pleading for him to go farther, faster.

Jayden gripped him firmly and took him into his mouth slowly, making Francis grunt excitedly. He move up and down slowly as Francis thrust his hips aggressively, close to the edge. Jayden's hand slipped up to Francis' chest and kneaded it slowly, trying to push the bear towards the end and the point of pure bliss.

He could feel Francis' stomach clenching fitfully and Jayden pulled both his hands down to his thighs, gripping tightly as Francis pushed him down farther. Jayden closed his eyes, disoriented by the sickly sweet scent of Francis' fur pressed so close to his nose and one of his hands wound it's way into his own boxers. He pulled them off quickly, his attention never faltering.

One final breath escaped his nostril before he felt Francis clench one last time, his hips propelling forward. He gasped loudly as he climaxed, filling the wolf with an undefinable warmth. Several seconds past before the bear's strong grasp relented and Jayden pulled himself away, gasping for breath, the air cleaving it's way through his straining lungs.

Moaning loudly as Francis rubbed his ear, Jayden felt the clenching in his stomach give way instantly and he was left with nothing but a feeling of ecstasy as waves of pleasure wracked his quivering form.

As the feelings faded away, he was left comfortably numb as his heart hammered in his chest, trying to send blood through his body. He collapsed onto his side and rest his head on Francis' stomach, the generated body heat washing over him pleasantly as they basked in the afterglow.

The bear's breathing was shallow and forced as he ran his hand along Jayden's upper arm. Francis picked up his head to look down at Jayden, and the wolf lifted himself up, kissing the bear on the stomach as they both came down from their high.

Francis scratched his ear and Jayden crawled upwards so that he could rest his head on the bear's chest. An arm wrapped around his shoulder, pulling him in closely and Jayden's mind drifted off with diluted scent of vanilla.

"Okay, the short, short version!" The television shouted from beneath his shirt, "Do you?"

"Yes."

"Do you?"

"Yes!"

"Good, you're married, now kiss her!"

Jayden chuckled into Francis' chest as the movie credits rolled and he smiled, any trace of anxiety disappearing from his mind. This is where he wanted to be, and this is where he wanted to stay until the sun set, enveloping them in the night.

"So, have you ever been with a guy before?" Jayden mumbled curiously, his voice hoarse. The air blew across the both of them, matting their fur and accentuating their exhaustion.

"No," Francis said, "this is a first."

"How was it?" Jayden asked coyly.

"Better than Tammy," Francis chuckled and Jayden's eyes slid open, falling from his high with an immense velocity. He didn't want to admit that Francis was with someone else, let alone sleeping with someone else.

Francis' phone began to vibrate on the headboard, filling the room with a hollow buzzing and he pulled himself away from the bear. Jayden heard Francis answer the phone distractedly as he pulled his shirt off the television and put it on with a sigh. So much for it being special.

The bear grumbled at his phone and Jayden perked his eyebrow as he looked at him, still completely exposed. Francis rolled his eyes and whispered urgently to his phone, so Jayden just scratched his ear for no reason. Funny timing his fiancée had, it was like she knew.

Jayden didn't know for a fact that it was her, but judging by Francis' sudden change in demeanor, he didn't really think it could be anyone else. Francis silently motioned towards his shirt and the wolf tossed his clothes to him, remaining silent as both their happiness wilted away.

Falling into his normal position on the chair, Jayden watched as Francis held the phone on his shoulder and scrambled to pull on his boxers and pants at once. Jayden didn't even care what was being said on the phone, because it wasn't important, he already knew that the bear would disappear so he could tend to his fiancée. If they weren't happy, then why were they so adamant about beating a dead horse?

Francis shut his phone with a groan and tossed it on the bed so he could pull his shirt over his head. Jayden rocked in the chair, unsure of what to say or do in this particular situation, because he already felt like he was an unimportant side thrill. It was like a curse; something horrible happened every single time someone got into his bed.

"I have to go," Francis said, sounding defeated, knowing what he was about to do wouldn't end well, "Tammy's being... moody and hung up on me, so I have to go see what's wrong."

He didn't have to do anything if he'd just end it with her, "okay. Are you coming back later?"

"I'll come back when I can. Do you care if I leave my stuff here? Tammy will be pissed if she finds out I've been here."

What kind of relationship was it were he had to lie about where he was just so he didn't get reprimanded like a misbehaving child? Jayden liked to think that if... if he ever had a chance with Francis, he'd be more understanding and let him have his other friends if he wanted.

The sun was being steadily drawn to the earth, sinking towards the horizon making the sky fade from dark blue to bright yellow. Glowing a bloody red, the clouds were densely packed, finally casting the asphalt into shadow. Jayden turned to Francis and tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. He cleared his face before he spoke.

"How are you getting there?"

"Either have to walk or try to get ahold of my brother. So, probably walk."

"It's almost ninety degrees out, you can't walk home."

Francis rubbed his neck as he placed his phone in his pocket, frowning slightly as he gazed out the window. The sun was relenting at least, so the heat shouldn't be too far behind.

"I'd rather take my chances with the sun than Tammy angry," Francis muttered, "but I have to go. I'll call you when I can."

The bear disappeared out the bedroom door and Jayden leaned back in his chair with a sigh, waiting to hear the apartment door, so he'd know he was actually gone.

This was growing out of hand at an alarming speed. Why was he putting up with what Francis was doing? Why couldn't he just say, 'it's me or her'?

Leaning on his window sill, he watched Francis' silhouette disappear down the complex road, his gait slow and drawling. It was probably because Jayden could relate to the feelings of rejection, especially by the people you used to love. Past a certain point, though, you couldn't tell if it was a feeling of loss or a feeling of nostalgia. Knowing didn't matter, because it hurt either way.

But, this wasn't about Francis, so why wasn't Jayden putting himself first? It was about what he wanted, wasn't it? That had always been Jayden's problem, caring about someone else's problems more than his own. He always ended up forgetting that he too had feelings and he always ended up focusing on holding someone else's hand, helping them dealing with their overwhelming feelings.

Was it altruism or pride that made him do it? Did he really care about them more than himself, or did he feel that he understood himself so perfectly, and understood life so well that he could also take on the life of another?

Maybe a little bit of both, perhaps. But, it was more likely that it came from something else entirely. Shame. What was Jayden doing with his life? Absolutely nothing. He was wasting away his life as he lived with his mother, trying to live other peoples lives because he was so afraid of his own.

As he went to reach into his pocket, Jayden realized he still wasn't wearing any pants. Sighing, he let his shoulders fall forward as his hands slapped his thighs. His pants always seemed to disappear and he could never find them when he needed them. Dragging himself across his bed, he rummaged his hands around it's underside until he pulled them out and fished through his pockets for his phone.

Dialing Paige's number, he held it to his ear listlessly, rolling onto his back, letting the breeze to blow up his leg and into his shirt, making it puff out comically. A ruffling filled the other end of the line as Paige struggled to get the phone to her ear.

"Look who's still alive," Paige said sarcastically and Jayden scratched his forehead.

"What?"

"You were suppose to call me, dillhole. A week ago."

"I was?" Jayden asked stupidly, any semblance of memory having slipped through the numerous cracks in his brain.

"Yea, you told me you were going to call me if Francis didn't come over. I just figured you'd know to get a hold of me after he left if he actually did come over."

"Well, he just left, so I guess I'm not that much of a moron."

"You're kidding," Paige blabbed, "He has not been there for eight days."

"Seven or eight," Jayden mumbled, finally deciding to put on his pants for the off-chance his mother came home. Hopping around clumsily with one leg in his shorts, he collapsed against his closet. Buttoning and zippering them, he continued, "I really can't keep track of the days anymore."

"What made him finally leave?" Paige asked, a loud ruckus drowning out her not-so-dainty voice. Jayden thought of the best way to word it so he could minimize the ridicule. Thinking slowly, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge, humming to himself.

The heat on the porch had died down like he had predicting, leaving only the slightly humid air to remind him it was still summer. Popping open the soda, he sipped from it before answering.

"Tammy called to yell at him," Jayden said emotionlessly.

"So, she has a name now?" Paige laughed, but the wolf couldn't even make himself grin in the slightest. It was like the muscles on his face were paralyzed as he leaned over the railing.

"Mmhmm."

"Wait a minute..."

"What?" Jayden mumbled, drinking half the can in a few large gulps. His throat was dry and sugar water did nothing to sate his thirst.

"You slept with him, didn't you?"

"That's a bold conclusion."

"Maybe, but it's the right conclusion."

"What makes you think that?" Jayden queried. Was he really that obvious or was she taking a shot in the dark, trying to scare him into admitting it? It was probably a little bit of both, since his relationships always seemed to follow the same pattern.

"Well, if I liked Francis and his fiancée stole him away from me, I'd be mad. But, you're not, meaning... you feel guilty."

"Using that logic, I can safely assume that you're a murderer, because you don't feel sorrow when people die in TV shows."

"Aha! You're deflecting, I knew it!"

"Alright, fine," Jayden relented, the last sliver of sun disappearing from sight, leaving the sky a dark blue, "we... fooled around."

"Was it good?"

"Okay," Jayden mumbled as Paige laughed unnecessarily loud, "next subject. What's all that noise in the background?"

"I'm at the beach and the fireworks are about to start."

"Fireworks? Shit, it's the fourth, isn't it?

"Yea, and I actually have to go," Paige said, "The boyfriend says they're starting."

The call ended before Jayden had a change to say anything, and his phone beeped as the screen turned off. Placing it in his pocket, he wrapped both his hands around the soda can and watched the fireworks crowd the night sky above the trees, the sharp crackling assaulting his ears.

He wished Francis was still here, at least that would make him feel somewhat complete again.