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The big Polar Bear stirs and he wakes. He's a bit hungover still. He looks around the room, and doesn't recognize this place. He's only partially dressed. He has his T shirt and socks on, but his pants and underwear are off. And this bed is way too small for him, he's tightly wrapped around someone. And he grins when he realizes why he must be here.

"I must of gotten lucky at the party last night" he grunts. He stretches a bit, and seems surprised when he realizes his big Jet Black colored Polar Bear dick is still embedded into a very tight ass. He grins. "I did get lucky" he says happily. "She let me fuck her in the ass" he mutters happily. He's up a tight, snug ass, belonging to a Snow Leopard, and he gently strokes the thick, fluffy, light Grey tail with its Black rosettes. He runs his paw along the ass his massive dick is in. "She's got a beautiful ass" he says softly. And as he runs his paw up and down, slightly below the hot ass, he's stunned to feel a ball sac and a male feline sheath instead of a vagina. "Shit, it's a guy" he moans. He hears the soft whimpering of the Snow Leopard, and he's confused. Ben tries to remember what happened last night even though it makes his head hurt. He's almost afraid to remember how he ended up here. And he's not sure he wants to know what he's done.

Ben flushes as he first remembers what happened two hours prior . He'd woken up, still drunk. And his pants and underwear were on the floor, and this Snow Leopard was asleep under him. Ben was laying on top of the guy. And he was angry. The small Feline was fully clothed, and he was sound asleep. Ben was roaring in his anger and he woke the guy up. He slapped the Snow Leopard a couple of times, and roared at him. "Get the straight guy drunk and bring him home and have sex with him, eh? "he roared. "I didn't, I didn't do anything" he remembers hearing the Leopard say in a deep Scottish accent. The Snow Leopard tells Ben he brought him home because Ben was saying he didn't want to go to where he had been living, that he had been bitching about living with his ex girlfriend. Ben remembers telling this guy about all of that at the party. And the guy told him that Ben wouldn't let him sleep on the futon in the living room like he wanted to.

Ben had roared and ripped the Leopard's clothes off. "Wanna take advantage of me, do you" he roared."You'll regret messing with me" he grunted. And Ben got on top of the much smaller Snow Leopard and rammed his massive 18" Polar Bear dick up him right to the balls on his entry stroke. Without even spit for lube. The Snow Leopard screamed in pain feeling Ben's massive dick forcibly shoved up his tailhole.. And then whined and yowled and begged him to stop. "I've never....I haven't ever done this... please stop.... stop I beg you.....don't, please....you're splitting me tailhole open" he remembers hearing the guy beg him, in tears.. And he remembers the guys ass bleeding badly. Ben flushes with embarrassment. . "I raped him for trying to seduce me" Ben moans. "I did what I accused him of" Ben says sadly.

Ben's thinking how hot the sex was despite it being a rape, that tight Feline ass pulled three mind blowing orgasms out of him. He hasn't cum that hard or that much in ages. He thinks of how the guy moaned and moved under him after the first painful fuck., his tail hole slickened up with the cum of the first fuck. Rape or not, the Snow Leopard had wanted him, more than anyone he'd ever fucked, this guy had responded hotly to Ben's fucking,. And Ben remembers the Snow Leopard, telling him his name. Caleb Mac Gregor, and that Ben had taken his virginity. Silly though it might of been, Virgin, yeah right, Ben thinks. But the guy was so earnest about it, he was crying hard too.

Ben looks down. There's blood on the bed sheets, and the Leopard's ass ring has blood on it still. He must have been hurt badly, and still must be hurting. He's whimpering softly in his sleep. Ben's horrified when he remembers something else.. He now remembers the soft Scottish accented voice begging him to get up off of him and to let him up, so he could go sleep on the futon. And Ben wouldn't let go of him. Ben remembers how he opened up even more and told Caleb how bad his life had been lately. And he remembered how kind Caleb was to him. And he remembers Caleb telling him he'd do whatever he wanted him to if they could just sleep til morning.. Ben realizes now the guy knew how drunk he was, and wanted him to sober up, and would still have sex if he wanted, but didn't want Ben just because he was drunk and horny. He'd been nicer to Ben than anyone in recent memory. And Ben is so sad now, someone was good to him, and Ben had assaulted him and bloodily raped the guy. His life is such a mess even without this.

Ben feels totally ashamed. A voice in the back of Ben's head is screaming for him to pull out, and dress and run away, before this guy wakes up. But Ben looks into Caleb's face, Caleb's crying softly in his sleep and still whimpering. "I did this, and though you can never apologize for something like this, I have to Bear up and try, I misjudged him rather badly." Ben says to himself. "I raped him, out of anger and what had to be lust" Ben says fighting tears himself. "Poor guy was totally innocent" Ben muses. "He tried to be nice to me, and I made him pay for it" Ben says weeping softly.

Caleb stirs a bit, but doesn't wake up. Ben pulls out of him slowly. But he holds him tightly to his big Polar Bear body. Ben weeps gently when he sees how much blood is on his dick. "He really was a virgin, and his ass was small and tight, I not only raped him, I made him bleed." Ben says softly. "God, I hope I didn't damage him inside, I'm too well hung to force someone to have sex with me." he thinks, and he's even more ashamed now. "I don't ever remember feeling this bad" Ben muses. "I can't ever apologize for this, but I have to make this up to this poor Snow Leopard" he moans.

"He'll be angry at me, and I can't blame him, so I should just go" he says to himself. "I can't though, I have to take responsibility for what I did, maybe if I beg him to, then he'll forgive me and not have me arrested" Ben moans. He feels sorry for this Snow Leopard now. "He's so much smaller than me, he couldn't have fought me off" Ben thinks to himself. And Ben's feeling guilty, and somehow protective towards this little Scottish Snow Leopard. "He looks so sweet and innocent while he sleeps" Ben muses.

Ben's kind of amazed at his own reactions truthfully. His rage and sexual aggression towards a guy like this. He's amazed that he can't make himself up and run like he thinks he should. And that he's feeling sorry for a queer who brought him home hoping to have sex with him. But now that he remembers at least most of what happened when they got to Caleb's place, he's got to admit the guy treated him decently. Ben just doesn't know why he hung on to the guy, and wouldn't let him sleep elsewhere. "He was so sympathetic and he let me vent" Ben says sadly. "He cared for me" Ben says tearing up again. "He cooked for me, I told him I hadn't been eating well, and he fixed me a good dinner" Ben moans sadly. "He must have really cared for me" Ben moans.

Ben remembers that he wasn't sure at the party whether Caleb was a girl or a pretty guy. But he was by the time they got here. He knew Caleb was a guy. Was he that drunk, he wonders, did he want to fuck this guy,? Ben knows it's been six weeks since he last got laid. Drunk, horny, did he just say I'll fuck a guy and get off? Ben looks at Caleb, and he has to admit to himself how pretty he is, he's a beautiful young Snow Leopard, especially for a guy. Ben briefly wonders if it would be so bad if he turned out to be Bi. If he could get guys as pretty as Caleb. He's not had great luck with women, he gets laid, but it's usually just one night stands, that leave much to be desired. He can't be picky, if they want him, he'll fuck them. Women love to have his big Polar Bear dick in them, but they don't seem to want him around if they're not fucking. Like his ex they only seem to not be obnoxious to him when they want him to fuck them.

And then there was the one special female in his life, a young Cougar, Janet, and he loved her so much. And she got pregnant after they'd been together six months, and then went right out and had his cub cut out of her. And then came home and threw him out of their apartment. It was the only real relationship he'd had so far. and it ended so badly. He still hurts to see young cubs out in public, and to know he lost the only one he may ever have. She didn't even tell him until after she'd had the abortion, and then she told him she wouldn't ever want to have cubs for him. And that when they aborted the cub it was a tiny Polar Bear male. It was two years ago and the pain is still fresh in his mind. He's never understood why women don't seem to like him for anything but a sexual plaything. He's getting more and more antagonistic towards women, and he admits to himself that he fucks them rougher now than he used to.

Ben has to admit, despite his friends and the casual fucking, that he's lonely inside. He really hates his ex, but he can't afford to move out yet. And he's getting older and he's beginning to worry that he'll be old and alone one day.

Caleb has heard and felt Ben moving around.. And he's awake, but faking sleep. He's more than a bit afraid of this huge Polar Bear. He raped him, and he laughed when Caleb begged him to stop, and at the blood when he forced himself inside of Caleb's then virgin asshole.. But he's heard what Ben's been saying to himself. Caleb is emotionally confused too, he can't find it in himself to be mad at this huge Polar Bear. He did bring him home knowing he was straight, and in the back of his mind he'd prayed they'd have sex, even though he'd not pushed himself on the guy. And he'd never meant to let the guy fuck him anyway. Yet, Caleb feels intensely sorry for Ben still. This big Polar Bear has been hurting so badly of late. He was so grateful to just find someone who'd listen to him, and empathize. He desperately needed someone to be good to him, and Caleb had tried to be.

Those big White furred arms holding Caleb so tightly feel good to Caleb though. Ben's unconsciously petting Caleb's neck and shoulders too. "He means it, he is bloody well sorry he hurt me", Caleb thinks to himself. Against his will, Caleb starts purring. "Awake, are you?" Ben asks gently. Caleb nods. Ben shifts a bit, this bed is only a double, and kind of small for Ben's 7', 360 pound frame. Ben curls himself around Caleb to get comfortable. And Caleb's purring harder now. Ben allows himself a soft smile. Despite what Ben did to him, this little Snow Leopard still likes him. "My very touch makes him purr"Ben says to himself.

"Please don't totally hate me" he says quietly to Caleb. "I don't" Caleb says gently. "I wanted you, I knew you were straight, but I didn't want to just snog you while you were drunk, Ben" Caleb says quietly. "I'd hoped when we woke up, that you'd be calm enough to talk about things, but you were so angry at me" Caleb says his voice showing pain. "I hadn't done anything, no matter how much I wanted you" Caleb says calmly. Ben lowers his head. He feels massive guilt now. But while there is pain in Caleb's voice, Ben is surprised that there is no condemnation in it. "He really isn't angry at me" Ben thinks to himself. And it makes Ben feel worse.

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you, Caleb, I don't know how to apologize for it, I was so angry, my life really sucks right now, and it was the one thing I couldn't cope with, I thought you were trying to take advantage of me, but I remember now how you begged me to let you go sleep on your futon" Ben says stroking Caleb's face. "Were you really a virgin, before I.....?" Ben asks, he can't admit out loud he raped Caleb. "I was, I've only been to bed with four guys now counting you and I haven't let any one else fuck me" Caleb says quietly. "How old are you, Caleb? "Ben asks him. "I'm 24" Caleb says. "I'm 32" Ben says softly, "My life's an awful mess considering I'm not that old" Ben says sighing. "You told me of how bad you were hurting last night, Ben" Caleb says softly."And I was saving me self for me 'one true love', that sounds so naive now, doesn't it?" Caleb says looking embarrassed.

Ben tries not to laugh, but he's kind of impressed by Caleb's obvious romantic tendencies. Caleb is upset as much for the fact that he doesn't like nor usually does one night stands. All the other guys he slept with, he was in long term relationships with. But he still didn't feel enough for any of them to give his cherry to them. And he blushes to think about how it had just been forcibly stolen from him. But he can't get mad at Ben for it, and he's not sure why. He was feeling very sympathetic for this big Polar Bear, despite being turned on to him. Caleb wanted to do something nice for him. Caleb wonders if Ben remembers him cooking for him when they got home because Ben said he was hungry.

And Caleb knows how much he enjoyed it after that first, horridly painful fuck. Ben had been aggressive but loving for the second and third fucks. He had Caleb's blood up big time. And Caleb had enjoyed being rooted by this big Bear. Caleb wasn't injured taking the big Bear's massive dick either. He's a bit tender now, but not in pain. He's not even sure why he bled so much the first time. Caleb is grateful for not being split open by Ben, given how big Ben's dick is. He wouldn't mind feeling it again, though he knows he won't get the chance now.

Ben starts to get up. "I'll go, and if you won't press charges I swear I'll never come near you again" Ben pleads. "No, please, don't go" Caleb begs Ben holding his paw tightly. "I raped you and you don't want me to go away?" Ben asks puzzled. "I wanted you, sure I didn't do anything to you while you were drunk, and I felt sorry for you, you were in such pain, and I only wanted to comfort you, or even just give you a quiet nights sleep away from the ex you hate so much" Caleb says softly. Ben's touched by the look on Caleb's face. "He did want to comfort me" Ben thinks to himself. "And I mauled him and raped him" Ben thinks feeling horrid now.

"I won't deny I wanted you, but I had hoped at best when you woke up sober we might do something, no matter how little of a chance there was for it, I was not going to take advantage of you, and I'm not sure I'd of let you fuck me, I resented you hitting me, and taking me without asking or prepping me" Caleb says quietly. "You never gave me a choice, Ben" he says sadly.

"Caleb, thank you for being so kind to me, but I don't know if I can forgive myself for what I did to you, and then there's the fact that I know how badly I wanted you now, I've never even gotten a blowjob from a gay guy, let alone ass, or wanted in one so bad I couldn't help just taking it hard."Ben says looking away from Caleb. "You wanted me?" Caleb asks. "I did and I do, in the light of day and sober, I want back in that tight Feline ass rather badly, but I can't" Ben says sadly. "Caleb, I'm not gay, I admit you have the most beautiful ass I've ever seen on a guy or a girl, and you're a beautiful Snow Leopard, but I'm not gay" Ben says shaking his head. Caleb can see the pain in Ben's eyes. And he knows he's being honest. Caleb is impressed with Ben, he's honest, and genuine and he didn't just run, he tried to make amends and apologize. And Caleb knows, no matter how crazy it is, that he has fallen hard for this straight Polar Bear. No matter how much pain it will lead to. The pain of loving a male who can't love you back would make the pain of his rape seem like nothing. But Caleb knows he loves Ben now.

"I lost my job two weeks ago, I'm living with my ex who doesn't like me but she's hot for me sexually, though I can't stand for her to touch me" Ben says looking at the floor. "My folks want nothing to do with me, and I'm so fucking lonely these days" Ben says in agony now. "I need a cigarette" he moans. Caleb leans down and takes the pack out of Ben's shirt pocket on the floor, and hands him his pipe lighter. "I was out, where'd I get these" Ben says. Caleb laughs.

"I was dumped by the guy I went to the party with, he wanted me to go so he wouldn't be there alone, and he hooked up with some skank Tiger bitch after being there for five minutes and gave me his cigs to hold for him" Caleb says grinning. "How did I end up with them?" Ben asks. "I gave them to you, Ben" Caleb says smiling. "I didn't need them, I smoke a pipe" Caleb says and he takes his pipe out and lights it. Ben smiles, Caleb was being good to him, better than anyone's been to him in a long time. He'd of had to go without smokes until he got his last check from the damned bank he worked for for years, til they sacked him. His female Boss wanted him to fuck her, and he wouldn't. And she canned his ass when he refused a second time. But she was right when she told him no one would believe him. He tried to go to Personnel but they didn't believe him at all.

"Party, yeah there was a party last night, I only vaguely remember it" Ben says shakily, puffing on his cigarette. Caleb nods. "I don't remember much of it, I was bored, but I remember seeing you, Caleb, I thought you were a girl at first, you were so pretty" Ben says shyly. "Pretty, yes, but you were masculine too" Ben says. "I should have known by that, but you were the prettiest one there" Ben says blushing. Caleb grins. "You thought I was pretty?" he asks Ben. "I did I was drawn to you, you were sitting on the back porch a bit away from the rest of us smokers" Ben says. "That big Roo was chatting you up, I wondered if he was your boyfriend and then you shot him down pretty harshly" Ben says smiling. Caleb laughs. Kerry just wanted in his pants, and he was drunk and being all hands. Caleb hates being groped if he's not into who ever's touching him like that.

"I was not wanting to go to the party, but that wanker, Jimmy begged me to go so he'd know someone there" Caleb says gently. "I was bored, and I sat on the back porch intending to smoke me pipe, and leave, but I just kind of relaxed there" Caleb says. "I was pissed when Jimmy split to go snog that Tiger" Caleb says. "We're just friends, he works with me, and he's straight, and I wouldn't have gone if he hadn't of talked me into it" Caleb says.

"I was going to leave and then I saw you out on the porch smoking" Caleb says. Ben grins. "I could tell you were straight, but you were so hot, and I could content me self with just quietly watching you, Ben" Caleb says smiling. Ben smiles. "You were so bloody hot and masculine, and you seemed so sad" Caleb says softly. "And then you sat down by me and asked if I could give you a cigarette and I gave you the whole pack" Caleb says. "I remember now, you were so nice to me, no one's been very nice to me of late" Ben says sadly. "You sat and listened to me when I bitched about how badly my life was going, and you were so kind, and I rewarded you by....well, we both know what I did" Ben says sadly.

"It was getting cold and the others went in, but you sat by me and we talked" Caleb says smiling. "You seemed so sad, and when I listened to you, you kept opening up to me" Caleb says. "Your eyes showed such pain, and you told me so many things, and I was amazed that you could open up so much to a total stranger" Caleb says softly.

"I know I felt a lot for you then" Caleb says looking at the floor now. "You did?" Ben asks surprised. "I did, I knew it would be wrong, to maybe be in love with a straight Polar Bear, but I could be happy just being around you" Caleb says softly. "I never wanted to push me self on you, Ben" Caleb says quietly. Ben laughs. Caleb looks hurt now. "No, little Kitty, you were trying not to take advantage of me, and I was mad at the world, and when I thought you had taken advantage of me, I took advantage of being so much bigger and stronger than you, and I raped you, it's almost comically tragic, Caleb" Ben says laughing. Caleb's not laughing. "You still love me, don't you?" Ben asks. Caleb nods, he can't speak now. "No matter how I hurt you, you forgave me and you love me, Caleb" Ben says very softly. Caleb nods and he can't speak right now.

Ben takes Caleb's face in his big paws. "I wanted you, I know that now, I was hot for your ass, but I was so angry, I acted out my anger and lust, I hope I can forgive myself one day, but I can't deal with this now" Ben says softly. "I hurt you, you bled badly when I raped you, and you love me so much that I can see that you've forgiven me" Ben says gently. Caleb nods. "No one has ever loved me as much as you seem to, and I can't deal with being loved by a male, not even a male as beautiful as you, Caleb" Ben says sadly. Ben kisses Caleb and he gets up and dresses slowly. Ben can't look at the sad little Snow Leopard now. He aches for having hurt Caleb yet again.

Caleb sits on his bed and cries hard. "Where will you go, Ben, you don't want to go home" Caleb says through his tears. "I have a friend I can stay with, I was thinking of it anyway" Ben says softly. "You couldn't ever want to just be around me even?" Caleb asks crying harder now. "I know you don't seem to be able to love me, but could we be friends, at least." Caleb begs. Ben smiles. "We'll see, I need to think this out, but I'd like to meet you for coffee in a few weeks, I could use a friend, if you think it won't hurt you to be around me and love me so, and know that I don't love you" Ben says stroking Caleb's face tenderly. Caleb nods. "I can deal, I was prepared to just be around you and see you from the beginning" Caleb says fighting off tears now.

"I love how thick your accent is now, Caleb" Ben says smiling. And then he turns somber. "I'm so sorry, Caleb, I just keep on hurting you, so I have to say Goodbye" Ben says quietly. "You're so much better off without me " Ben says sadly. Ben kisses the top of Caleb's head, and he leaves.

Caleb throws himself on his bed, and he breaks down crying. He's madly in love with this big Polar Bear now, even though he forced himself on Caleb, and forcibly took his virginity. Even though Caleb had been trying to save himself back there for his 'one true love'. Caleb realizes now that Ben is that 'one true love' and he cries even harder. Caleb knows now he'll live a sad and lonely life without his Polar Bear. With little hope of getting him to come home to his Snow Leopard.

Three months have passed now. Caleb had hoped that Ben would call and he would indeed go have coffee with him or something. Anything just to see him, and be with him somehow. After a month, Caleb gave up, he knew Ben couldn't handle how much Caleb loved him. And decided to sadly go on with his life. Such as it is. Caleb feels so empty now.

He'd told his best friend, Billy, a Bobcat about the same age as him. Billy was shocked that Caleb would forgive the Big Polar Bear after he raped him. Billy knew that Caleb had been 'saving himself'. But Billy knows how Caleb is, if he forgave Ben and loved him, Caleb would love him forever, even though he knew he couldn't have him. Billy's tried to introduce Caleb to other guys to date. Caleb's attractive enough that fixing him up would be easy. But Caleb's refusing to go out with anyone now. Billy's at a loss to know how to help him heal. "Only a miracle can help Caleb now, only if Ben knows how much Caleb's missing him, and goes to him, will Caleb heal" Billy tells a friend.

Caleb has been a bit worried that he's getting sick from his depression and loneliness. He's hungrier than he can ever remember being, and he throws up for the first hour or two he's up every day. And he's gaining weight, in fact, he's gained at least ten pounds since the day Ben left. He's got a small pot belly now But he is eating more, and isn't very active So he marks it down to his worsening depression and loneliness. That and his almost constant fatigue.

Caleb goes to work at the library and comes home, he rarely goes out except to shop and buy food. He's only occasionally on line with his friends, and he won't go meet them for drinks or even coffee. He's sad and lonely now. Caleb feels so different inside, and he can't describe how it feels, but he's not the same, and he knows it. Even his stomach is making him miserable, he woke up with horrid stomach cramps that night after Ben left, and he has them still once in a while.

One cold Friday night, Caleb comes home by bus, and he sees Ben a few seats down, and he prays Ben hasn't seen him, and he surreptitiously moves to the door, and gets off the bus at its next stop. He walks a few streets over to catch the subway so he can avoid the Bus, and maybe avoid seeing Ben again. No such luck. As he walks into the subway station, a huge set of White paws pulls him backwards. Caleb tries to scream, but Ben puts one big paw over Caleb's muzzle. "I'm not going to hurt you again, I swear, Caleb" Ben says softly. Caleb nods, and Ben takes his paw off of Caleb's muzzle. Caleb is in tears, and he's not sure why, he's been so emotional since Ben left. He's both thrilled and terrified to see Ben again. But he notes that Ben looks almost happy to see him again.

Ben is smiling. He turns serious and he's not letting go of Caleb at all. "Did you run because you saw me?" Ben asks. Caleb nods. "Are you afraid of me now?" Ben asks. "Not of you, but of me feelings for you" Caleb says weeping gently. "I know you don't go out nor do you see your friends ever since I left that day." Ben says softly. "How do you know?" Caleb asks. "Your friend Billy tracked me down, he told me how devastated you seemed over me not even seeing you for coffee." Ben says quietly. "How?" Caleb asks. "He went to some friend of you both who was at the party, and they told him my name" Ben says. "I'm sorry, I'll talk to him and make him leave you alone" Caleb says through his tears. "Caleb, I'm not a cold hearted bastard, I miss you too, more than I would have ever dreamed" Ben says quietly. Caleb doesn't dare look at Ben. He's afraid, more scared than he's ever been, and he's not sure why. Caleb's guts are churning and he feels a bit nauseated now. But still, just hearing Ben's voice makes him feel a bit lighter inside. He's happy to see his Polar bear, but Caleb also knows when Ben leaves this time, his heart will break all over again.

"I didn't come to you for coffee, because I knew how I felt, and I fought it" Ben says gently stroking Caleb's face. "I was going to call you, but I didn't have your number, so I went to your apartment a few times, but you were never at home" Ben says quietly. Caleb nods. He was at home, but he'd looked out the second story window in his bedroom and saw Ben at the door, and wouldn't answer it. Caleb couldn't have dealt with being with Ben and loving him, knowing Ben felt nothing for him. And if Ben had come in. He knows he'd of begged Ben to stay with him for good. Caleb knows he has no pride when it comes to his Ben. "I had to go to the local library and I saw you at the reference desk, but I couldn't go talk to you" Ben says. "And then I saw you leaving and I tried to follow you, Caleb" Ben says softly.

"We need to talk, Caleb, we have to sort this all out, I know how badly you hurt, I hurt too, I know I miss you like Hell" Ben says softly. "I've never missed anyone as much as I have missed you, little Kitty" Ben says pulling Caleb to him. Caleb cries hard on Ben's big White furred chest. Ben strokes Caleb's head gently. "Lets go get coffee, baby, we need to talk" Ben says quietly into Caleb's ear. Caleb hugs Ben tightly. And they go to a local coffeehouse.