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Tristan woke up slowly, which told him he was coming out of Cryo. He kept his eyes closed, enjoying the relative silence. He could feel the ship's vibration. Everything was finally quiet. It felt to Tristan like it had been a long time since he had any peace and quiet.

Why had he gone in Cryo lying down?

Even before the answer came up him he was scrambling out of the bed his heart beating so fast he could feel his entire body reverberating with it. Why was he acting like he was scared of something. He wasn't some kid scared of his shadow, he'd beaten fear years ago, thrown it in a cage, locked the door and forgotten about it.

He made fists and opened his hands in an effort to stop them from shaking. He was on a ship. Twenty of so cryo chairs. A man was seated in one of them, near the cockpit, still under cryo. If there were chairs, why had he lied down? He turned his head to keep the man in sight and look at the bed.

He caught sight of something around his bicep. "No!" he ripped it off and threw it away. It bounced and landed at the man's feet. He was panting. He looked around for a way out. He had to get out of here. There was--

"No," he growled. And clamped down on his thoughts. He didn't feel fear. He beat it in a pulp. He heard laughter behind him and spun. Nothing there. Just storage, a hatch on the floor and the ramp to exit.

That laughter had been in his head.

No, no. He was in charge here. He was in comm--

* * * * *

He was on the floor, curled up in a ball, being assaulted by people he'd killed over his life. He screamed for them to stop, but they didn't listen. They wanted revenge, he had taken their lives and they would make him suffer.

* * * * *

Justin gloated while Tristan was held. His brother finally had the upper hand and Tristan would never escape this time. A woman placed something around his bicep.

* * * * *

His father was talking, berating Tristan for failing at yet another thing. Except that it wasn't he child him, it was the adult and he wilted under his father's gaze, instead of fighting back.

* * * * *

He grabbed hold of the bed, the medical bed, to avoid falling down. He had been captured, but he'd escaped. Alex had been there, or maybe not. He couldn't quite recall what had been real. There had been so many people. He'd killed them so many times over. Had Alex been one of them? Was he finally free of him?

He had trouble breathing. He had to stay in control. He ran a hand over where the armband had been. That had been For Cryo, but there had been another one. He shuddered as more of the horror-filled his mind. No. He was in control. He tried to push the memories away. He needed to center himself.

He looked up and Alex was standing before the Cockpit.

Tristan had trouble breathing again. Alex. He wasn't dead.

* * * * *

He was on his knees, keening, Justin had just told him Alex was dead. The news had opened a crater inside his chest and he had lost his mind.

* * * * *

Alex was alive. Joy filled him. Alex was alive. Fear. Alex was alive. Need. A need he remembered. A need to go to him, to touch him. To be his. No! Tristan was no one's! Tristan used others.

Instead of taking a step forward, as he feared he might do, he took a step back, and that enraged him. He didn't back away from anyone, from anything. He forced himself still. He wasn't going to show any fear. Certainly not to that human. That human was his, not the other way around.

Alex's face was hard, closed in. There was none of the affection he'd often seen there (looked forward to seeing) None of the exasperation he could cause in the human. None of the anger or the rage he could easily trigger in him. There was nothing on that face.

Tristan opened his mouth to... he didn't know what he wanted to say, to ask.

"How are you doing?" Alex asked. His voice was neutral. He stepped toward him and Tristan took a step back before he could stop himself. Alex stopped at the other end of the medical bed.

How was he supposed to answer that question? His mind reeled in all directions, his body trembled with fear and desire. He was losing control, how did Alex expect him to answer that question?

"I'm fine," he said, but his voice shook. He made fists to steady himself. He wanted to touch him. Run his hands over his naked body, breathe in his scent. Hear moan under him. He wanted to rip him apart. Destroy him completely. Remove him from his life.

"Don't even think of destroying something." Alex's gaze was on Tristan's hand, the one gripping the corner of the medical bed, tensing.

He'd been getting ready to rip it out of the wall, To bash Alex over the head with it, to not stop until he was a puddle of blood under it. No! He couldn't hurt Alex. He was.... Shut up! Alex was nothing. He was everything. He held back a scream, turned it into a growl.

"Don't tell me what I can do. This is--"

"My ship." The two words cut Tristan's anger and turned it into fear.

The words had been cold. Alex had never spoken to him that way. He'd screamed he'd pleaded. He'd been defeated. But there had always been emotions in his voice. It was at the core of who Alex was. It was something he l-- Shut up!

"You want this ship to be yours again," Alex said, taking a step forward. "Then fucking earn it." Tristan took a step back. "Look at yourself. You're shaking. You can barely control yourself." Another step. Tristan backed up again. "That isn't what I fought to rescue." Another step. Tristan tried to back again, but his back was against the ramp. He glanced at the release, but it was locked. They were in space. It wouldn't open without bypassing the safeties. Alex was only two paces away now. Tristan could reach out and wring his neck.

"What are you waiting for?" Alex said. The words were hard, but his eyes searched Tristan's. "If I cause you so much turmoil, remove me. That's what you do, right? Remove anything that stands in your way."

Tristan wanted to kill him. No! He wanted to hurt him. No! To make him pay for how he'd destroyed his well-organized life. Yes! He saw himself, against Alex moving and both of them moaning in-- No!

All Tristan managed to do was tremble as all sort of desire mixed together.

Alex's mask cracked for an instant and pain, disappointment, leaked through before it was back. "This isn't you."

Tristan stiffened. How dare he--

"Something's been done to you."

Of course something had been done to him. Drugs and torture. But he was stronger than that. He was going to beat it like he'd beaten everything else the universe had thrown at him.

"I know how to fix it."

Tristan's ears went straight up. Alex could fix this? He found he wanted it badly. No, he didn't want it at all. He wanted to give into this madness. No, he wanted control again. He was going to survive, no matter the cost.

Alex turned. "Come on, let me show you."

Tristan bristled at the tone, that had been an order. Where did he think he'd gotten the right to order him about? He was following him before he realized what he was doing. Alex went up a ladder by the cockpit, and Tristan caught sight of the planet they were approaching, with the readouts for it. They looked familiar, but he couldn't make any sense of them as he followed Alex.

The room was a bedroom, with a bed and storage compartment. He'd missed it when he'd been in this ship before. He remembered that now. They'd left Baran's ship in it. He'd destroyed most of the cryo chairs trying to kill Alex.

Alex took a case from a compartment and opened it, showing him the content. "Do you remember this?"

The statue was Samalian, sandy fur, a sword at his belt, the paint was faded, one of the ears was chipped. "Yes, you had that when you barged into my life."

"Do you remember anything else?"

He shook his head, even as the image of the two of them at a table surfaced in his mind. The statue had been between them.

"You made me a promise, do you remember that?"

Tristan snorted. "Should I?"

"You promised to love me until the end of times." There were no emotions in Alex's voice.

"And you believed me?" Please say you did. No! Shut up! He was a tool, he is a tool, nothing more.

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Fine." Yes! "So I conned you and you fell for it." No! It wasn't a--Shut up!

"Do you even know what this is?"

"Some stone that's been carved and painted."

"It's a Defender. One of the deities from your world."

"It's a piece of rock."

Alex was looking at it, not him. "According to the stories I collected, one of the things the Defender is known for is binding promises. Samalians who wanted to show they were serious would go to one of the temples, stand before the Defender and make the promise, and the Defender would bind them to it. They say that any promises made over the Defender are binding."

"It's a piece of rock. Something I found in the market and figured you'd like because you were so infatuated with me."

Alex smiled, but there were no emotions behind it. "Really? Just a piece of stone? Then explain to me why the fuck you risked your life for me!" Tristan took a step back. "You, Tristan; the ultimate survivor injected me with the only cure to a virus that was certain to kill you!"

"There were more--"

"No there wasn't! You didn't know Mary could make more. As far as we knew it was the only one, so why did you use it on me?"

Tristan tried to find an answer, but he didn't know why he'd done it. He'd been ready to inject himself with the cure, but then, as if someone else had taken control of his body he;d watched as he reached for Alex's neck and injected him with it. He glanced at the statue. No, it was just stone, nothing more.

Alex was watching him. His face a mask of nothingness again. "There are ways to get the Defender to relinquish his hold. To release you from your promise."

Yes! No! Tristan screamed internally. Couldn't his mind stop this?

And the information he'd seen on the screen assembled itself into a picture.

Samalia. The planet was Samalia.

"No, there's no way I'm setting foot there again."

"We have to. You need to place the defender back where he belongs. He was taking from one of the temples so you need to put him back, bring him home, the stories say, then you'll be able to ask for him to release you."

"No!" The anger in Tristan's voice didn't make Alex flinch, but he did finally look up from the statue. "I'm not going there. There's nothing for me there. They're just a bunch of primitives with their muzzle in the dirt. I need to go out there and find Justin. He's due for a beating that's going to remind him not to fuck with me ever again."

Alex's mask broke again, this time sadness seeped through. "Justin's dead."

The words hit him hard. He didn't want to believe him, but Alex had no reasons to lie. He felt his legs shake, but he locked them in place. Something bubbled inside him and for a moment he was on his knees agains keening for Alex's death. He clamped down on that. He wasn't going to lose it that way over his brother.

He summoned up anger. "You killed him?" he growled. He'd be able to do it. He'd finally found the one thing that would let him kill Alex, get him out of his life forever. "How dare you do that, he was my brother. I was the one to--"

"Anders killed him."

Tristan froze. Anders? Who was that? Then he remembered a human entering a large, dark room. He remembered sinking his teeth into his flesh, ripping it out. It hadn't been because he'd killed Justin. He'd threatened to kill Alex. But it meant he had avenged his brother.

He tried to keep the anger. It didn't matter, he needed it to reach Alex, he was the one he needed to remove from his life, but the anger evaporated, and with it his strength. He dropped to his knees. His brother was dead.

He felt Alex pull him up, but didn't react to his touch.

His should be happy that Justin was dead, it meant he would never bother him again.

Alex had him lie on the bed, then he was alone.

He grabbed one of the pillows and buried his muzzle in it. He couldn't stop the keen from escaping his lips.

His brother was dead.