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Chapter 17 - Hidden Truths

"God!" I cried out and tensed before collapsing into a roll and onto my back.

The man that had previously been under me purred while panting and looked over at me with those remarkable hazel eyes of his. I smiled a little and scooted closer to him, curling an arm around his and draping a leg over his thigh.

It had been a couple weeks since I had formally met this married detective, but he had quickly become one of my more eager customers at the Arc. He had always shown up the same way, barely able to talk and erect. But we had fucked, and it had been so passionate and erotic that honestly I don't know why his wife let him ever leave the bed. She was missing out.

I slid my hand down Nickel's strong chest, following the rippling muscles and fur, feeling them slide across my fingertips as I brushed across his navel. I followed some of the lines of seed I had painted across his body and finally curled my hand lazily along his softening erection, just holding it as I lay there, resting my head on his shoulder as we caught our breaths.

I looked up at the ceiling at the mirror, something I thought was tacky, but lately I had found myself looking up at it more and more. There we were, laying naked and sweaty, a sticky mess under my tail and some along Nickel's muscular chest. He had his arm curled around me as he lazed there, enjoying his afterglow while my hand toyed with his shaft, keeping him from going completely soft but not so eager that he was hard right away. Even those blessed by God with a good ass need a moment to recover.

"I don't know what it is about you, Simon, but I'm not like this with my wife," Nickel said after minutes of laying about, our breathing much more natural now that we weren't moving together in tandem.

"Mmm," I hummed as I leaned up and looked across his chest and at his face. "Honest response or flirty response?"

"You're already naked and holding me by my penis; you don't need to try and entice me into your bed," the tiger said flatly. He was still paying for this after all.

Honestly, sex had been feeling different lately. Weeks ago, months ago, I would have said that someone like Nickel made me feel alive while we were fucking. But after sex, in moments like this, I wouldn't have felt anything, neither contentment nor bliss nor a desire to keep going because it just felt good. I would have kept going because I could actually feel things when having sex, and only when having sex.

Lately, I felt different emotions all the time, and sex was becoming less of an emotional crutch to get through my life and more of something that I wanted to do because I liked it and wanted more of it. I would sleep with Nickel for free if he ever asked, but I still needed the money and I didn't really have anywhere else to take him but my place, since I didn't think he would be okay with fooling around in an alley. The Arc would have to do for the time being, complete with a price tag.

"First, you're bisexual," I said lazily, moving and kissing his pectoral. "You like both men and women, but I guess in your case, when you sleep with women, it's... more about having children. Every time you sleep with your wife, you run the risk of having a cub. When you're with a man, you don't have that worry. With me... you don't have to hold back, and you can enjoy yourself without a worry in the world. Second, a man really knows his way around another man's body. Third, I'm also damn good at what I do."

"I haven't slept with her in awhile," Nickel admitted as I moved to crawl over him, looming over the big tiger and placing both my hands on either side of his head. "But I have to admit, it's nice to have an outlet like this. I'm... more relaxed than I've been in a long time."

I grinned and leaned down, kissing the tiger on the lips. I usually didn't kiss my clients, but Nickel was a really good kisser. I loved how his rough tongue felt in my muzzle and how he could draw me in without any effort. Even now I felt one of his hands on the small of my back as we kissed. I felt myself harden and hang down. I didn't touch myself, but I was surprised what kissing this man did to me. I also imagined what it was like to have his brothers in bed, and that only made me harder.

When our kiss broke, we were panting, and he looked at me with a confused if not slightly worried eyes. I saw Nickel's eyes rise. "Oh right," he said, "I came here to tell you something before we got... side tracked."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Tin is missing."

"Your brother...? What?" I sat up a little in his lap. I tried to not think about the hardened cock rubbing against my rear. "What happened?"

The tiger's expression clouded slightly. "The reports I see at the station say he was at a construction site lining the river and slipped when a mound of dirt collapsed. He may've been buried or fallen into the river, I'm not entirely sure. Iron is running the gang now and we got people looking." He looked at me. "I just wanted you to know that if you see Iron show up, he isn't there to cause trouble. He's a little high strung right now because Tin is missing, though, so just be aware..."

"And he still plans to help us?" I asked curiously, feeling Nickel grind himself upwards between my cheeks.

"Y-Yes." The tiger shivered. "When I talked to him yesterday, he said he's going to honor the agreement... B...But he's acting weird. I don't know if he's involved or not..."

"I think I should go see Renaldo." I tried to pull away until I was stopped by two large hands holding me down gently against that body.

"Wait," Nickel said. "Let me just... get this out of my system one more time."

---

After a quick shower and some fresh clothes, I went to the Black Sock Gang headquarters to talk to a few people. I had found that, in the last week, my life had begun to revolve around the multistory building. I joked internally if I should ask Renaldo for a room for rent.

I found the fox gang leader in the bar of his club as usual, talking to a few of his men. I started getting to know many of the foxes that came and went in this place, and I've found that many of them were mostly regular men -- people who were looking for more in life than what was offered by the hand they had been dealt with. Renaldo stepped in and helped them find jobs, places to live, and even food to eat for those who were seriously suffering in the city. One thing I had also noticed, which genuinely impressed me, was that when a woman came into the club for help, he treated her with respect -- that is, no one hit on her, and if she had kits, one of the women who usually worked here would watch them while Renaldo listened and did what he could. He really cared about the foxes in his territory.

That isn't to say he was entirely a good man -- he still had a protection racket going on and he still bullied people for the sake of those in power with the government. He was not above murder and hurting someone, but it was a reminder that very few people in this world fit cleanly into a category of "good" or "evil," and that everyone was multifaceted with their own goals, agendas, and biases. Rut and I would sit up for hours sometimes talking about this very thing, trying to understand why people could hate someone just because of where they were born.

The red fox looked up at me as a couple of his underlings went to do whatever it was they were doing and waved me over. He was sitting back with one leg crossed over the other at the knee, his hand holding a martini glass and skipping it. Papers were all over the table, as well as maps. I looked at them briefly before sitting down. "Hey Renaldo," I said warmly and rubbed my neck.

"Sore?" he inquired with a wry grin. He knew what I did for money besides work at Palmer's. Renaldo was not a homosexual and did not even have a curious bone in his body, but he accepted me nevertheless. A joke here and there at my expense was worth that kind of treatment. He could have been so much meaner.

"A little." I showed a sheepish grin. "Nickel is a workout when he really gets going."

"Hard to believe that copper is so eager in bed," Renaldo said with a sip of his drink. "But everyone has their triggers, and you seem to be that for a few people."

"It's not like I try to be." My sheepish grin was getting more genuine. I didn't like talking about myself.

"Oh please." Renaldo leaned forward and put his glass down on the table. "You love the attention."

"I actually prefer to pass unnoticed, you know? Keeps me alive."

"That's not what I mean. You aren't walking up and down Fifth Avenue naked or something. You like turning heads. There's an air of confidence surrounding you."

The red fox got up from his chair and went over to the bar. He was making himself another drink.

"I see it when you walk into a room. You turn heads. You didn't when I first met you though. You had this look about you... that you weren't really getting through life, more like barely hanging on. A dead candle is how one of my men described you -- you were all wick and no light. Like nothing was on inside. But when you were near Rut and Fiz, I saw you come alive for a moment. Your eyes didn't look so tired and your tail wagged."

Confidence. That was a word I never expected would be used on me, especially since I vowed to spend my days with my head bowed low so that monster wouldn't find me and do to me what he did to Avery and Bensley and his countless other victims. I felt myself smile.

"I guess it's all thanks to Rut and Fiz, and to an extent, your gang," I said, staring at the back of the red fox. "When I first started sleeping with men, some of them would tell me that I had this look about me... that I wasn't really getting through life, more like barely hanging on. A dead candle is how one of them described me -- I was all wick and no light. Like nothing was on inside.

"But when I'm near Rut and Fiz, I think I come alive for a moment. For all the quirks that Fiz has, he still manages to make my day special, and Rut is always there to give me advice about how to live life here in New York City -- and to avoid getting into trouble for being mistaken as Fiz." I chuckled.

"I would agree," Renaldo said, turning around with his newly-concocted drink in his hand. "Every time I've met you since then, you seem to be more alive than the previous time. You're more animated and you've got that plucky British humor that people either love or hate. When you really get going, your accent even comes out. You laugh more, too."

I was looking at the table now, my ears feeling hot. But I didn't stop Renaldo. A part of me was saying I needed to hear this.

"And if we're likening you to a candle, when you're 'lit' as I'm going to start calling it, everyone notices you. You turn heads. You're gorgeous, Simon-baby," he said with a playful smirk and came back over to the table with a fresh drink. "And you like that people see you that way. Hell, the other day when you were helping us around here install some new furniture, you had unbuttoned your shirt. Why?"

"Um... because it was hot?"

"Simon, it was raining outside. You did it because I'm sure a part of you was warm but you also wanted people to notice you. You also take your hat off more."

I guess I looked bothered because Renaldo laughed and put his glass down on the table. "Relax, kid. It's my job to notice people and figure them out, you know? Especially you, bringing all this mess into my home, I had to make sure you weren't lying to me about anything. You're an honest boy, Simon. That's going to get you in trouble one day."

I was done with this conversation. I felt like someone was examining me with a magnifying glass. Also, I was here to talk about something more important than me turning other men's heads. "I heard about Tin."

Renaldo's smile vanished and he grunted. "Ah, about that..."

The red fox was moving some pages around and put it on the top stack. "The Iron brother, the annoyingly loud one, has taken over. He's... a bit to work with, but he seems smart enough to know not to cross me. He's been honoring Tin's agreement to help us, but all the information we get is bad."

"Has anyone died?" I asked, looking over at the scribblings.

"No, but we're running out of leads. We had a small mountain of information from the papers Tin was able to get out of the cat's office, but the madman killed that cleaner and probably changed up everything, so none of it is useful now."

"Are we being jerked around?"

"I dunno yet," Renaldo said, taking a sip. "Between you and me, something isn't adding up, but Iron has been helpful. It's weird as hell, kid. So for now I'm going to be a little more guarded and test Iron some more. Everything I have on him from before he got his promotion says he wouldn't be this friendly toward me... yet here we are."

I was lost in thought about Mordecai, Tin, and everything going on. I couldn't help but wonder if someone else was dead because of me. And I must have looked upset because Renaldo snapped his fingers in front of my face and smirked.

"And don't blame yourself, kid. Gang politics is gang politics. You should go upstairs and see your friends. They're driving me a little batty."

---

Renaldo had a doctor's office on the top floor that the gang members would see if they ever got hurt. The man was an old fox who could have been around when the Civil War was taking place for all I know. Fiz was staying here while he healed. He did have his own room, small as it was.

The twins actually had conjoining rooms with one door linking two small bedrooms to a living space between them. I stepped into this central room and heard a yell of frustration and something heavy hitting the wall. It was a pipe.

I walked into the other small bedroom and saw Rut standing there. He was stripped to the waist and breathing hard, papers tacked to the walls and maps opened up. His bed, usually made, was messy, and he was angry. He quickly darted his eyes to me. "What!"

"Nothing," I said, holding my hands up. "Just... you threw a pipe at the wall."

"So?"

"Did it feel good?"

Rut stared at me for a moment and then exhaled. I saw his shoulders drop as he actually grinned. "Shut up," he said and walked over to me, pulling me into a hug. We hadn't seen each other in a few days, and ever since he held me at gunpoint, he was prone to weird mood swings. But generally, he seemed much more friendly toward me when he wasn't angry.

I looked around the room and saw there were pages upon pages of notes about Mordecai, Crossbell Industries, Gideon, and a whole bunch of other things. There were some pages about me I'm sure, trying to figure out why Mordecai was after me for so long. When I tried to explain that the man was crazy, Rut never quite listened.

Looking at the notes made me feel uneasy. Rut was going deeper and deeper down this path of revenge against Mordecai for almost killing Fiz, and it was quickly turning out to be an obsession. It was definitely worrying, but what could I do?

"You here to see Fiz?" the white fox asked, letting me go. I noticed he was wearing his gun belt. I didn't say anything about it.

I nodded. "And you," I added, putting my hands in my pocket. "The apartment isn't the same without you two there."

"Quieter, I'm sure."

"That, and I miss your cooking. Do you want me to bring you anything from home?"

Rut's eyes perked up and his ears stood straight. "Actually, yes. In my bedroom there's a loose floorboard near the dresser. If you lift it up you'll find a cigar box hidden under it. It has bullets and another gun inside. It's loaded so don't drop the damned thing. If you can bring that to me, that would be wonderful."

Before I could answer, I heard another familiar voice from the open doorway calling out to me: "Simon? That you?"

I looked at Rut and nodded. "Of course. I'll bring it by this evening. I'm gonna pop in and see Fiz."

"He should be resting," Rut said firmly. Protectively. "Don't keep him up too long."

Woe is the man who got between Fiz and Rut today. I gulped and nodded and headed into the wounded fox's room.

The black fox was sitting up in his bed and looking out the sun-drenched window. The wind was blowing in and ruffling the fur on his cheeks and whiskers. His chest was wrapped in fresh bandages without any marks of blood on them now. His wounds had closed and were staying that way. He was officially out of the danger point of being hurt, I imagined. As I approached I saw he was naked under that sheet -- I could see his bare hip.

He turned to me and grinned. "Simon!" He tried to get up but winced a little bit. He held his chest and motioned me over eagerly. "Come! Come!"

I smiled and walked over and gave my friend a gentle hug. He was beaming and his tail wagging. I saw he still had Mordecai's cane with him, laying on the side of his leg closest to the window. Fiz hadn't let anyone take it from him.

"Hey Fiz," I said and sat down on the chair next to his bed. "You feeling better?"

"Much!" he said and rubbed his chest. "Just sore. But less every day. You?"

"Oh, you know me. Seeing ghosts and wondering if everything is going to be okay. Feeling much better now that I saw you two." I mentioned over my shoulder the way I had come and back to Rut.

"Simon strong," Fiz said so calmly. He leaned back against his pillows and even yawned. He was tired too. The medicines they were giving him would make him drowsy, if just to keep him from trying to sneak out. You never underestimated Fiz.

I watched something strange happen just then. Fiz closed his eyes and his ears tipped forward, and I swear his whiskers seemed to fold backwards, more like Rut's. He looked at me and grinned. "I just need to talk to you for a little bit."

A full sentence. Shit.

"I'm sure you've noticed that Rut and I... we're very close."

My whole body tensed. "I mean, I've heard the sounds coming from your room, so... Oh, but I don't mind that stuff, so don't worry!" I quickly added.

"Not that." He shook his head and rubbed his temple. "God, I don't like doing this, it hurts. I don't like slowing down to speak in full sentences, so I'll be brief."

He waited for me to say something, and when I didn't, he continued.

"Rut and I are very much a unit. We don't do well in long periods of time when the other is out of range or when we don't see each other. I can go maybe a week without seeing Rut, but he... he can only go about three days. When he thought I was going to die, he was confronting the idea that he would have to process the world without me. Neither of us would do well with that, and he's still angry about it."

Fiz was rubbing his head again like he had a headache. He looked at me and chuckled some. I must have looked confused.

"Our father was either a genius or a madman -- he trained us to do the same thing but when he saw we leaned one way he made sure we complemented each other perfectly in everything we did. Together there is little we can't do. But it also has made us very dependent on one another. Especially Rut."

"Why did your father do that?" I asked, frowning.

"That... is a story for another time," Fiz said to me. "But I just wanted you to be aware that Rut isn't angry at you. He stopped being angry at you the moment you two got here. But he has to have an outlet for that anger. It's like he's both of us right now, he's not used to thinking that way. I know it's weird for you..."

I shook my head violently. "No, weird is having a millionaire chase you across the globe in a costume. When compared to what I'm having to go through, this is actually normal by comparison."

Fiz laughed a little bit and winced. "Just know we both care about you Simon, but Rut needs you more than ever. His mental state is in a precarious position right now, without me being around to maintain balance between us. Keep an eye on him. For everyone's sake."

"What... Why everyone's?"

Fiz looked me right in the eye, as serious as I have ever seen him. Without the cadence from a moment ago, he sounded quiet and deadly.

"What do you think I would do when I learned my brother was dead?"